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Thread: Guys Have you Ever Found Out About A Child That you Never Knew About?

  1. #1

    Guys Have you Ever Found Out About A Child That you Never Knew About?

    This could never really happen to a woman cause it would be pretty hard to not know about a child that you birthed.
    recently one of the kids in my family submitted a sample to 23 and Me and found out that they had a first cousin that they did not know about. Turns out he is my older brothers son. He is 38 years old and does not seem want anything to do with my family. It is kinda hurting us all especially my brother. I am sure he must be hurting too especially if nobody ever told him.

    The child's mother died a few years ago so he can't talk to her about it. We don't know if she told the man who raised him or not but we have seen several pictures of this child and he clearly looks like the people in our family and doesn't look like any of his other half siblings.

    If you ever experienced anything like this how did you handle it?



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  3. #2
    It would be pretty crazy if I had a brother out there that I didn't know about. My older brother is 5 years older than me, and everybody always tells us what we don't look related at all.
    "Perhaps one of the most important accomplishments of my administration is minding my own business."

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  4. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Anti Globalist View Post
    It would be pretty crazy if I had a brother out there that I didn't know about. My older brother is 5 years older than me, and everybody always tells us what we don't look related at all.
    At present we have not told my nieces and nephew who are the siblings of the new found person. My brothers and my sister and I are already hurting over this and we don't want to hurt the kids. I don't know if it is good or not to not tell them but since he doesn't want contact we have decided not to tell them yet.

  5. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Working Poor View Post
    At present we have not told my nieces and nephew who are the siblings of the new found person. My brothers and my sister and I are already hurting over this and we don't want to hurt the kids. I don't know if it is good or not to not tell them but since he doesn't want contact we have decided not to tell them yet.
    Honesty is never wrong.

    If the other kids are young (under 12-13) then maybe wait but otherwise give them the information with as little emotion as possible.

    To answer your question in the OP about unknown children; nope.

  6. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Working Poor View Post
    This could never really happen to a woman cause it would be pretty hard to not know about a child that you birthed.
    recently one of the kids in my family submitted a sample to 23 and Me and found out that they had a first cousin that they did not know about. Turns out he is my older brothers son. He is 38 years old and does not seem want anything to do with my family. It is kinda hurting us all especially my brother. I am sure he must be hurting too especially if nobody ever told him.

    The child's mother died a few years ago so he can't talk to her about it. We don't know if she told the man who raised him or not but we have seen several pictures of this child and he clearly looks like the people in our family and doesn't look like any of his other half siblings.

    If you ever experienced anything like this how did you handle it?
    I am so very sorry to hear about your family's situation. I can't imagine what you are experiencing. I will mention that this is a really big fear of mine. It literally keeps me up at night. As soon as I did my 23 and me I instantly regretted it. I have yet to uncover any offspring but I always check my email for the "new relatives" email.
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  7. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by tod evans View Post
    Honesty is never wrong.

    If the other kids are young (under 12-13) then maybe wait but otherwise give them the information with as little emotion as possible.

    To answer your question in the OP about unknown children; nope.
    Yes you are right about honesty. I think I will leave it up to my brother on telling his other children about it. Of course my niece who did the test could slip up and tell the others about it all our children are really close and most of them talk to each other almost everyday. So one way or another the cat could easily jump out of the bag. The child in question seems to think it is just a glitch but, being the fact that my brother did actually date her makes it seem unlikely that it is a glitch. I wish my mom was still living so she could tell us what to do.
    We don't have any idea if the man's mother told her husband or not about it. which could cause more pain if she didn't. I did manage to find her facebook page and looked at all of her pictures. He looks just like our family and my brother's other son could pass for his twin. He looks nothing like the rest of his family so I think the mother had to know that he wasn't the man that she married child. She passed away in 2014 so the child could not even talk to her about it and he probably would not want to hurt the man who raised him either and it would likely be hard to face that his mother kept this secret if she did.

    Quote Originally Posted by trey4sports View Post
    I am so very sorry to hear about your family's situation. I can't imagine what you are experiencing. I will mention that this is a really big fear of mine. It literally keeps me up at night. As soon as I did my 23 and me I instantly regretted it. I have yet to uncover any offspring but I always check my email for the "new relatives" email.
    I hope you don't have to go thru what we have. When I first heard the news I felt happy to think there is one more person to welcome to the family. Now I am not so sure about how I should feel.



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