Embarrassing Stories

[Lindsey]

I apparently really need a vacation, so I entered a contest on Twitter where you post an embarrassing story.

Here's my post:


Yes, that really happened too..

Can you guys go out to Twitter and retweet and like my tweet?
https://twitter.com/caseyrocks27/sta...05248209100800

Who else wants to share an embarrassing story?

[angelatc]

I apparently really need a vacation, so I entered a contest on Twitter where you post an embarrassing story.

Here's my post:


Yes, that really happened too..

Can you guys go out to Twitter and retweet and like my tweet?
https://twitter.com/caseyrocks27/sta...05248209100800

Who else wants to share an embarrassing story?

Maybe later! I am not telling the one that immediately comes to mind.... I liked your tweet though!

[Lindsey]

Thanks Angela!

[JK/SEA]

friend of my daughter came to the house to visit my visiting daughter. I thought she was pregnant. Nope. Too bad i said 'when's the baby due?...silence,..then she told me she wasn't pregnant.

I went outside and sat down on the patio with a fresh beer.

[Suzanimal]

Oh, where to begin...the time I $#@! my pants in a restaurant on a date (with Mr Animal before we were married)....the time I went running up to my girlfriend's house and ran right into her sliding door much to everyone's horror(that was the cleanest glass ever)....the time I slipped and fell in the Walmart crosswalk carrying a big box of eggs (Christmas baking, I held up Walmart traffic)...the time I was spinning my little nephew by one arm and one leg, lost control and sent his head through a storm door (he has a small scar)....the time I was at a red light and my dog jumped out the car window - he wouldn't come back and I had no where to pull out of the road so there I am blocking traffic at a light chasing him around someone's yard when finally he hunched up and started taking a $#@! - oh, one of my neighbors was stuck in the traffic jam I caused and told everyone.....the neighbor's mailbox I keep running over (seriously, I think I've taken the damn thing out 10 times (3x's in ONE MONTH, ffs - and once his whole $#@!ty band was in the garage drinking beer and came out laughing at me)....the time I was skinny dipping and my elderly neighbor dropped by....

Those are a sampling of the sober stories, I'm fairly certain my drunken most embarrassing hits would get me at least an infraction.

[phill4paul]

Oh, where to begin...the time I $#@! my pants in a restaurant on a date (with Mr Animal before we were married)....the time I went running up to my girlfriend's house and ran right into her sliding door much to everyone's horror(that was the cleanest glass ever)....the time I slipped and fell in the Walmart crosswalk carrying a big box of eggs (Christmas baking, I held up Walmart traffic)...the time I was spinning my little nephew by one arm and one leg, lost control and sent his head through a storm door (he has a small scar)....the time I was at a red light and my dog jumped out the car window - he wouldn't come back and I had no where to pull out of the road so there I am blocking traffic at a light chasing him around someone's yard when finally he hunched up and started taking a $#@! - oh, one of my neighbors was stuck in the traffic jam I caused and told everyone.....the neighbor's mailbox I keep running over (seriously, I think I've taken the damn thing out 10 times (3x's in ONE MONTH, ffs - and once his whole $#@!ty band was in the garage drinking beer and came out laughing at me)....the time I was skinny dipping and my elderly neighbor dropped by....

Those are a sampling of the sober stories, I'm fairly certain my drunken most embarrassing hits would get me at least an infraction.

[tod evans]

Oh, where to begin...the time I $#@! my pants in a restaurant on a date (with Mr Animal before we were married)....the time I went running up to my girlfriend's house and ran right into her sliding door much to everyone's horror(that was the cleanest glass ever)....the time I slipped and fell in the Walmart crosswalk carrying a big box of eggs (Christmas baking, I held up Walmart traffic)...the time I was spinning my little nephew by one arm and one leg, lost control and sent his head through a storm door (he has a small scar)....the time I was at a red light and my dog jumped out the car window - he wouldn't come back and I had no where to pull out of the road so there I am blocking traffic at a light chasing him around someone's yard when finally he hunched up and started taking a $#@! - oh, one of my neighbors was stuck in the traffic jam I caused and told everyone.....the neighbor's mailbox I keep running over (seriously, I think I've taken the damn thing out 10 times (3x's in ONE MONTH, ffs - and once his whole $#@!ty band was in the garage drinking beer and came out laughing at me)....the time I was skinny dipping and my elderly neighbor dropped by....

Those are a sampling of the sober stories, I'm fairly certain my drunken most embarrassing hits would get me at least an infraction.

Ya' might want to stay out of Lindsey's contest if you want to give her a chance....

I don't tweeter or fed-book so can't help there......

[Suzanimal]

Ya' might want to stay out of Lindsey's contest if you want to give her a chance....

I don't tweeter or fed-book so can't help there......

Oh, I'm not entering the contest. I liked and re-tweeted hers, though.

Funny mispronunciation story - My dad was terrible about mispronouncing stuff and he got worse after his stroke. Anyway, I'm at their house visiting and my mom was giving him his shots which was unusual since their next door neighbor was a nurse and she checked on him just about everyday and gave him his shots. So I ask about Amelia and my dad says she had a rectahistmy (hysterectomy) and I asked if she was okay and if I should go check on her (she was a 50 something single lady) and he tells me she was still in the hospital - she had some complications and they had to seduce (sedate) her. She ended up coming out of everything okay, btw.

[phill4paul]

OK. 19 yrs. old, in the Navy, aboard ship. Working out and P.T. so I get jock itch. I also had athletes feet. I had a can of aerosol powder, Desenex, that was "cooling" to athletes foot fungus. I decided, well hell, it's a surface fungus treatment, it's "cooling," I'll just spray this on my scrote. So, I go to the head and "dust" my ball sack. Seemed great. Very "cooling." I go back to my rack and try to get some sleep. The "cooling" lasted all of 10 mins. Then it became the opposite. "Goodness, greatness, great balls o' fire!" What do I do? Pretty embarrassing to go to medical. I have a friend that is a corpsman, so I run to his berthing area. I explain the condition. He tells me "Unless you want another man scrubbing your balls go take a shower and do it yourself, pop some Ibuprophen, and suck it up. That's all they'll do at medical. You are not gonna die from this." So that's what I do. I didn't sleep well that night.

[Suzanimal]

OK. 19 yrs. old, in the Navy, aboard ship. Working out and P.T. so I get jock itch. I also had athletes feet. I had a can of aerosol powder, Desenex, that was "cooling" to athletes foot fungus. I decided, well hell, it's a surface fungus treatment, it's "cooling," I'll just spray this on my scrote. So, I go to the head and "dust" my ball sack. Seemed great. Very "cooling." I go back to my rack and try to get some sleep. The "cooling" lasted all of 10 mins. Then it became the opposite. "Goodness, greatness, great balls o' fire!" What do I do? Pretty embarrassing to go to medical. I have a friend that is a corpsman, so I run to his berthing area. I explain the condition. He tells me "Unless you want another man scrubbing your balls go take a shower and do it yourself, pop some Ibuprophen, and suck it up. That's all they'll do at medical. You are not gonna die from this." So that's what I do. I didn't sleep well that night.

LMAO!!!!

Mr Animal burned his ding dong one time. We had been skinny dipping and I got out of the pool and oiled up with my homemade tanning oil (baby oil and iodine) so he gets out of the pool and decides to put on some sunscreen on his wiener so it wouldn't get burned (I warned him). Anyway, we dozed off and his dick was fried.

[tod evans]

Don't ever get drunk and mistake the tube of Absorbine for lube........

She'll chase you down and hurt you!

[phill4paul]

LMAO!!!!

Mr Animal burned his ding dong one time. We had been skinny dipping and I got out of the pool and oiled up with my homemade tanning oil (baby oil and iodine) so he gets out of the pool and decides to put on some sunscreen on his wiener so it wouldn't get burned (I warned him). Anyway, we dozed off and his dick was fried.

Are you one of those chicks that like to pull off shedding skin?

[Suzanimal]

Don't ever get drunk and mistake the tube of Absorbine for lube........

She'll chase you down and hurt you!

That has menthol and menthol should never go anywhere near a vagina. I learned that lesson when I shaved my vag and used some old menthol shaving cream Mr Animal had laying around.

[Suzanimal]

Are you one of those chicks that like to pull off shedding skin?

Yes

[phill4paul]

Don't ever get drunk and mistake the tube of Absorbine for lube........

She'll chase you down and hurt you!

That's just....wrong.

Wife and I know a gay couple that make candles. They told her it was great for sex. Pouring hot wax on the nipples and such, letting it cool and peeling it off. Apparently they were good at sales. She convinced me to try it one night. I guess you are supposed to hold the candle high up so it cools on the way down. Or something. She didn't. Hot wax, scalding wax, on a nipple really ruins the moment.

[phill4paul]

Yes

Yeah, that was a rhetorical question.

[JK/SEA]

Oh, where to begin...the time I $#@! my pants in a restaurant on a date (with Mr Animal before we were married)....the time I went running up to my girlfriend's house and ran right into her sliding door much to everyone's horror(that was the cleanest glass ever)....the time I slipped and fell in the Walmart crosswalk carrying a big box of eggs (Christmas baking, I held up Walmart traffic)...the time I was spinning my little nephew by one arm and one leg, lost control and sent his head through a storm door (he has a small scar)....the time I was at a red light and my dog jumped out the car window - he wouldn't come back and I had no where to pull out of the road so there I am blocking traffic at a light chasing him around someone's yard when finally he hunched up and started taking a $#@! - oh, one of my neighbors was stuck in the traffic jam I caused and told everyone.....the neighbor's mailbox I keep running over (seriously, I think I've taken the damn thing out 10 times (3x's in ONE MONTH, ffs - and once his whole $#@!ty band was in the garage drinking beer and came out laughing at me)....the time I was skinny dipping and my elderly neighbor dropped by....

Those are a sampling of the sober stories, I'm fairly certain my drunken most embarrassing hits would get me at least an infraction.

WTF?...

you live in Georgia right?...

[MelissaWV]

Suz is the one skewing women's driving skills. I knew it!

* * *

Most of my life has been an embarrassing story, but not the laugh-at-it kind.

I do see a lot of embarrassing injuries people have suffered, but it's nothing you can't imagine or figure out with a Google search.