To insure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly Muslim fanatics intent on killing us, airport screeners will not be allowed to profile people. They will continue random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids,
quadruple amputees, airline pilots with proper identification, Secret Service agents who are members of the President's security detail, Ron Paul every single time he flies,
10-year-olds with juice boxes,
3-year-olds with, well, nothing, and Medal of Honor winning former Governors.
Let's pause a moment and take the following test.
In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by
a. Olga Korbet
b. Sitting Bull
c. Arnold Schwartzeneger
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1979, the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by
a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by
a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. The Boy Scouts
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by
a. A pizza delivery boy
b. Pee Wee Herman
c. Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered in his wheelchair and thrown overboard by
a. The Smurfs
b. Davy Jones
c. The Little Mermaid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a U.S. Navy diver was murdered by
a. Captain Kidd
b. Charles Lindberg
c. Mother Teresa
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by
a. Scooby Doo
b. The Tooth Fairy
c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid who had a few sticks of dynamite
left over from the train job
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by
a. Richard Simmons
b. Grandma Moses
c. Michael Jordan
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by
a. Mr. Rogers
b. AFOTEC action officers headed to a conf
c. The World Wrestling Federation to promote its next villain "Mustapha
the Merciless"
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 2001, four airliners were hijacked and destroyed and thousands of people were murdered by
a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
b. The Supreme Court of Florida
c. Mr. Bean
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by
a. Bonny and Clyde
b. Captain Kangaroo
c. Billy Graham
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
But no, oh no, let's not inconvenience anyone by profiling. Why, that would be racist! Better dead than racist. Right?
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