
Originally Posted by
Carl Corey
The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) News Release
WASHINGTON , DC 11/07/07 -
Congress is considering sweeping legislation which will provide
new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities
Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by
advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills
or ambition.
"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence
and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves
in society," said California Senator Barbara Boxer. "We can no
longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and
passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be
able to grant special favors to a small group of workers simply
because they have some idea of what they are doing."
In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Majority Leader Nancy
Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the
success of the U. S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing
policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance.
Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills,
making this agency the single largest U. S. employer of Persons
of Inability.
Private-sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination
against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the fast food
industry (68%), and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%). At
the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also
has a great record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million
"middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding
titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory
sense of purpose and performance.
Mandatory non-performance based raises and promotions will be
given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most
unremarkable employees.
The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations
that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into
middle management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and
medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker
for every two talented hires.
Finally, the AWNA Act contains tough new measures to make it more
difficult to discriminate against the Non-Abled -- banning, for
example, discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have
any skills or experience which relate to this job?"
"As a Non-Abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with
people who actually have something going for them," said Mary Lou
Gertz, who lost her position as a lugnut twister at a GM plant in
Flint, Michigan , due to her lack of any other discernible job
skills. "This new law should really help people like me."
With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other
untalented citizens will finally see some light at the end of
the tunnel. Said Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy: "As a Senator
With No Abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected
officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with No
Abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every
American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some
sort of space to take up in this great nation."