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Thread: I Hate Breakfast

  1. #1

    I Hate Breakfast

    I disagree with el Neil about breakfast, well, eggs at least, but this s still a great one from the 90s.


    I Hate Breakfast

    By L. Neil Smith


    Exclusive to The Libertarian Enterprise

    I don't know about you, but it annoys the hell out of me that someone else gets to decide that I can't have a cheeseburger and fries before eleven in the morning.

    I hate breakfast and always have. Confronting eggs before noon -- fried, poached, or otherwise -- makes me bilious. Pancakes and waffles are worse. The one thing bacon is good for is sticking between lettuce and tomatoes in a sandwich (slathered with Miracle Whip -- mayonnaise isn't the same at all) you'd choose for that vastly more civilized meal, lunch. And to paraphrase Apocalypse Now, the smell of maple syrup in the morning reminds me of ... napalm.

    In my youth, I never ate breakfast. I was a night-person forced to suffer government indoctrination at daybreak. Eating anything under such conditions induced nausea; I was content to wait for lunch. I still rise early to get Cathy off to work before resuming labor on the current novel. I'm also a Type II diabetic who takes pills that make it absolutely necessary that I eat something. Still, the only thing the pimpled dimbulbs out along the fast food strip will sell me is exactly the kind of glop I've spent an entire lifetime avoiding.

    For over a century, corporations like Kellogg, Post, and a dozen others have spent quintillions of advertising dollars in a horrifyingly successful attempt to persuade mothers that the cattle feed they manufacture is suitable to foist off on helpless children before they're wide awake enough to defend themselves.

    It's enlightening to learn the history of these companies. Vegetarians today believe that consuming animal flesh spawns an urge to violence in the human psyche. (Keep in mind what I said about vegetarians in Pallas: you are what you eat.) A century ago, the overriding preoccupation was sexuality, especially what was politely referred to way back then as "self-abuse". (This was later defined in the 60s as "doing your own thing".) Kellogg and others claimed that laying off sirloins and stuffing yourself with hormone-absorbing cereal products closely resembling wood shavings would somehow prevent impure thoughts.

    (For a hilarious examination of this topic, The Road to Wellville is a movie demonstrating that the goofiest garbage our grandmothers thought up -- mine got undressed in her bedroom closet, even when she was alone in the house -- are not too goofy for the hairsprayed heads of TV to attempt to convince us of today. Guess it proves you can hide as many bees in a bouffant as in a bonnet.)

    Cereal magnates of the late 19th and early 20th centuries believed a lot of other goofy things, as well -- in particular, in various trendy forms of socialism, which they gleefully advocated and subsidized in a variety of manners.

    Which brings us at long last, I think, to some kind of point.

    Today's captains of the fast food industry are no more contented simply to make billions of bucks than their corn-flakey predecessors were. They gotta be socially conscious. They gotta fry potatoes up in some tasteless petroleum byproduct instead of delicious, natural lard. What's worse, they gotta shovel mountains of mazuma over to those very social and political causes most grimly dedicated to reducing us -- the ultimate source of all their largesse, already forced to pay for too much of this nonsense through taxation -- under absolute despotism.

    There are entire countries with gross national products smaller than the amounts that the founders of McDonald's have bestowed upon Democratic Party grabbies who routinely confiscate half of my income, have spent half their lifetimes (and mine) trying to confiscate my means of self-defense, and who would even take away my right to choose my own doctor. They support criminals who want to kill me or make my life so miserable that I'll kill myself. Small wonder, then, they also feel entitled to decide for me what I should eat for breakfast.

    I suppose it's possible that the fast food empires have never looked at things in quite this way before. (People say that a lot about what I write.) What's more, if they feel right about offering me a rubber egg on a pasteboard muffin instead of what I really want, why shouldn't I tell them what to do? And so, on the very remote chance that they may be interested in making up for their malfeasances, misfeasances, nonfeasances, upfeasances, downfeasances, sidefeasances, or whatever other feasances they may be guilty of, I have a few suggestions.

    Remember that, as a corporation, in the act of seeking special privileges and immunities unavailable to mere individuals, you've made yourself nothing, more or less, than a branch of government. The Constitution (especially its first ten amendments) was written as an absolute limit on government activity. Be aware that there is an increasingly popular idea in this country today that corporations (as branches of government) should be limited in exactly the same way.

    Ask your legal department what that would cost.

    Back before Disney Corp got taken over by the AntiWalt, they reminded us, now and again, of what this country's all about. Way back then, militias were politically correct; they did a nifty series on the Sons of Liberty. They did a swell mouse cartoon about the Revolution and the Declaration of Independence called Ben and Me. They did a great movie about an 18th century British tax resistor (and the Navigation Acts that sparked our own revolution) called The Scarecrow.

    Forget 101 Dalmations, forget The Hunchback of Notre Dame, forget The Lion King and the sick, sappy substitute for philosophy that permeates all of them. Forget animal rights -- animals are for breakfast. Let's have a slick, appealing promotion based on the Bill of Rights. (And before you offer up all the usual suit-excuses, you'd better understand that we know that you know that it's only boring if you try to make it safe; I'm sure we'll agree wholeheartedly that the Second Amendment isn't safe -- it wasn't meant to be -- and the First Amendment is even dangerouser.) Relax, you don't have to do anything Republican. Hell, you can be even trendier than Left, you can be Libertarian.

    Try repairing the civilization you've worked so hard and spent so much to wreck.

    And while you're at it, fry me a goddamn cheeseburger!
    https://ncc-1776.org/tle1997/le970202-05.html
    Chris

    "Government ... does not exist of necessity, but rather by virtue of a tragic, almost comical combination of klutzy, opportunistic terrorism against sitting ducks whom it pretends to shelter, plus our childish phobia of responsibility, praying to be exempted from the hard reality of life on life's terms." Wolf DeVoon

    "...Make America Great Again. I'm interested in making American FREE again. Then the greatness will come automatically."Ron Paul



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  3. #2
    I remember a long road trip, stopping into a McDonalds with hardly a clue as to what time it was. The sun was up, and it had been for a long time. I tried to order a burger, and was told that it was too early, they weren’t serving burgers yet. I suppose it was before 11:00am. Skipped it and stopped at a Taco Bell at the next exit. Got a burrito.
    "Foreign aid is taking money from the poor people of a rich country, and giving it to the rich people of a poor country." - Ron Paul
    "Beware the Military-Industrial-Financial-Pharma-Corporate-Internet-Media-Government Complex." - B4L update of General Dwight D. Eisenhower
    "Debt is the drug, Wall St. Banksters are the dealers, and politicians are the addicts." - B4L
    "Totally free immigration? I've never taken that position. I believe in national sovereignty." - Ron Paul

    Proponent of real science.
    The views and opinions expressed here are solely my own, and do not represent this forum or any other entities or persons.

  4. #3
    Breakfast is great! For breakfast, for brunch, for lunch, for dinner and as a late night meal.

  5. #4
    $#@! breakfast.

    I do like mimosas however.
    It's all about taking action and not being lazy. So you do the work, whether it's fitness or whatever. It's about getting up, motivating yourself and just doing it.
    - Kim Kardashian

    Donald Trump / Trump Jr 2024!!!!

  6. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by phill4paul View Post
    Breakfast is great! For breakfast, for brunch, for lunch, for dinner and as a late night meal.
    -rep you are dead to me
    It's all about taking action and not being lazy. So you do the work, whether it's fitness or whatever. It's about getting up, motivating yourself and just doing it.
    - Kim Kardashian

    Donald Trump / Trump Jr 2024!!!!

  7. #6
    I will admit, that bacon, with a side of bacon, is good no matter what time of day it is
    It's all about taking action and not being lazy. So you do the work, whether it's fitness or whatever. It's about getting up, motivating yourself and just doing it.
    - Kim Kardashian

    Donald Trump / Trump Jr 2024!!!!

  8. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by TheTexan View Post
    -rep you are dead to me
    If your from Texas and don't like Huevos Rancheros you need to move to New Hampsire.

  9. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by phill4paul View Post
    If your from Texas and don't like Huevos Rancheros you need to move to New Hampsire.
    I wouldn't know if it's any good. I'm not going to disgrace my temple of a body by putting something spanish-named inside of it.
    It's all about taking action and not being lazy. So you do the work, whether it's fitness or whatever. It's about getting up, motivating yourself and just doing it.
    - Kim Kardashian

    Donald Trump / Trump Jr 2024!!!!



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  11. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by TheTexan View Post
    I wouldn't know if it's any good. I'm not going to disgrace my temple of a body by putting something spanish-named inside of it.
    How about corned beef hash with eggs over easy on top of them?

  12. #10



    I'd probably skip the potatoes, unless somebody else made them and they are already on the plate. Chimichurri sauce is also optional.
    Last edited by dannno; 10-09-2021 at 10:53 PM.
    "He's talkin' to his gut like it's a person!!" -me
    "dumpster diving isn't professional." - angelatc
    "You don't need a medical degree to spot obvious bullshit, that's actually a separate skill." -Scott Adams
    "When you are divided, and angry, and controlled, you target those 'different' from you, not those responsible [controllers]" -Q

    "Each of us must choose which course of action we should take: education, conventional political action, or even peaceful civil disobedience to bring about necessary changes. But let it not be said that we did nothing." - Ron Paul

    "Paul said "the wave of the future" is a coalition of anti-authoritarian progressive Democrats and libertarian Republicans in Congress opposed to domestic surveillance, opposed to starting new wars and in favor of ending the so-called War on Drugs."

  13. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by dannno View Post



    I'd probably skip the potatoes, unless somebody else made them and they are already on the plate. Chimichurri sauce is also optional.
    It's ALL good.

  14. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by phill4paul View Post
    How about corned beef hash with eggs over easy on top of them?
    Corned beef by its very nature is going to be not as good as normal beef.

    Just gimme some steak. You can keep your breakfast potatoes and eggs and $#@!
    It's all about taking action and not being lazy. So you do the work, whether it's fitness or whatever. It's about getting up, motivating yourself and just doing it.
    - Kim Kardashian

    Donald Trump / Trump Jr 2024!!!!

  15. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by dannno View Post



    I'd probably skip the potatoes, unless somebody else made them and they are already on the plate. Chimichurri sauce is also optional.
    I'd skip the eggs, the potatoes, chimichurra sauce, and tomatoes.

    The rest of it looks good
    It's all about taking action and not being lazy. So you do the work, whether it's fitness or whatever. It's about getting up, motivating yourself and just doing it.
    - Kim Kardashian

    Donald Trump / Trump Jr 2024!!!!

  16. #14
    "Stupidity got us into this mess. Why can't it get us out?"--Will Rogers

    "All I know is what I read in the newspapers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance."--Will Rogers

  17. #15
    2-eggs with finely chopped Carolina Reaper, 2-pieces of bacon and homemade hashbrowns for me this morning.

    And strong black coffee, 3/4 of a pot.

  18. #16
    I like breakfast for dinner.
    “The spirits of darkness are now among us. We have to be on guard so that we may realize what is happening when we encounter them and gain a real idea of where they are to be found. The most dangerous thing you can do in the immediate future will be to give yourself up unconsciously to the influences which are definitely present.” ~ Rudolf Steiner



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  20. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by donnay View Post
    I like breakfast for dinner.
    The annoying thing about breakfast, is that restaurants will often have breakfast for dinner.

    It's much less common to find dinner for breakfast.

    $#@! breakfast.
    It's all about taking action and not being lazy. So you do the work, whether it's fitness or whatever. It's about getting up, motivating yourself and just doing it.
    - Kim Kardashian

    Donald Trump / Trump Jr 2024!!!!

  21. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by tod evans View Post
    And strong black coffee, 3/4 of a pot.
    This is the only good thing about breakfast. The abundance of coffee.
    It's all about taking action and not being lazy. So you do the work, whether it's fitness or whatever. It's about getting up, motivating yourself and just doing it.
    - Kim Kardashian

    Donald Trump / Trump Jr 2024!!!!

  22. #19
    I intermittent fast for the last 5 years, I normally don't break the fast until 3 to 7 pm. Then I quit eating at 8 to 10 pm.
    ...

  23. #20
    I like Eggs, Sausage or Bacon, Mushroom & Onion, and some bell pepper. Usually some hot sauce on the eggs.

    I don't do toast or potatoes.

    Also, just black coffee and sometimes a mineral water.

  24. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by dannno View Post



    I'd probably skip the potatoes, unless somebody else made them and they are already on the plate. Chimichurri sauce is also optional.
    All good there. Maybe better to have those tomatoes chopped into a salsa of some kind.
    "Foreign aid is taking money from the poor people of a rich country, and giving it to the rich people of a poor country." - Ron Paul
    "Beware the Military-Industrial-Financial-Pharma-Corporate-Internet-Media-Government Complex." - B4L update of General Dwight D. Eisenhower
    "Debt is the drug, Wall St. Banksters are the dealers, and politicians are the addicts." - B4L
    "Totally free immigration? I've never taken that position. I believe in national sovereignty." - Ron Paul

    Proponent of real science.
    The views and opinions expressed here are solely my own, and do not represent this forum or any other entities or persons.

  25. #22
    What's more, if they feel right about offering me a rubber egg on a pasteboard muffin instead of what I really want, why shouldn't I tell them what to do?
    Egg McMuffins are popular, and not bad. They are easy to eat on the run. The price is outrageous any more, sans some kind of coupon.

    I made one for breakfast this morning. Egg, smoked ham, cheddar cheese, tomato, onion on sourdough muffin.
    "Foreign aid is taking money from the poor people of a rich country, and giving it to the rich people of a poor country." - Ron Paul
    "Beware the Military-Industrial-Financial-Pharma-Corporate-Internet-Media-Government Complex." - B4L update of General Dwight D. Eisenhower
    "Debt is the drug, Wall St. Banksters are the dealers, and politicians are the addicts." - B4L
    "Totally free immigration? I've never taken that position. I believe in national sovereignty." - Ron Paul

    Proponent of real science.
    The views and opinions expressed here are solely my own, and do not represent this forum or any other entities or persons.

  26. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by Brian4Liberty View Post
    Egg McMuffins are popular, and not bad. They are easy to eat on the run. The price is outrageous any more, sans some kind of coupon.

    I made one for breakfast this morning. Egg, smoked ham, cheddar cheese, tomato, onion on sourdough muffin.
    A co-worker pointed out to me a while back that the english muffin from McDonalds is actually very good, better than what you can find at the store and elsewhere.. so he talked me into going and getting egg mcmuffins on our lunch break from time to time. They aren't bad, haven't had on in a while tho.. I buy much better quality eggs myself, but as far as what most people can make in their kitchen, I doubt McDonalds is too far off on that one.
    "He's talkin' to his gut like it's a person!!" -me
    "dumpster diving isn't professional." - angelatc
    "You don't need a medical degree to spot obvious bullshit, that's actually a separate skill." -Scott Adams
    "When you are divided, and angry, and controlled, you target those 'different' from you, not those responsible [controllers]" -Q

    "Each of us must choose which course of action we should take: education, conventional political action, or even peaceful civil disobedience to bring about necessary changes. But let it not be said that we did nothing." - Ron Paul

    "Paul said "the wave of the future" is a coalition of anti-authoritarian progressive Democrats and libertarian Republicans in Congress opposed to domestic surveillance, opposed to starting new wars and in favor of ending the so-called War on Drugs."

  27. #24
    Quote Originally Posted by dannno View Post
    A co-worker pointed out to me a while back that the english muffin from McDonalds is actually very good, better than what you can find at the store and elsewhere.. so he talked me into going and getting egg mcmuffins on our lunch break from time to time. They aren't bad, haven't had on in a while tho.. I buy much better quality eggs myself, but as far as what most people can make in their kitchen, I doubt McDonalds is too far off on that one.
    Yeah, I won’t diss them as being bad. The egg in them seems ok. And coincidentally, as I typed that, there was a commercial for Egg McMuffin on the TV. And they claimed they are better than what you could make at home. Not true.

    "Foreign aid is taking money from the poor people of a rich country, and giving it to the rich people of a poor country." - Ron Paul
    "Beware the Military-Industrial-Financial-Pharma-Corporate-Internet-Media-Government Complex." - B4L update of General Dwight D. Eisenhower
    "Debt is the drug, Wall St. Banksters are the dealers, and politicians are the addicts." - B4L
    "Totally free immigration? I've never taken that position. I believe in national sovereignty." - Ron Paul

    Proponent of real science.
    The views and opinions expressed here are solely my own, and do not represent this forum or any other entities or persons.



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  29. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by dannno View Post
    I buy much better quality eggs myself, but as far as what most people can make in their kitchen, I doubt McDonalds is too far off on that one.
    Puh-leeeze.

    As far as I'm concerned there's only one reason McDonald's still exists--brainwashed children.

    "Stupidity got us into this mess. Why can't it get us out?"--Will Rogers

    "All I know is what I read in the newspapers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance."--Will Rogers

  30. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by acptulsa View Post
    Puh-leeeze.

    As far as I'm concerned there's only one reason McDonald's still exists--brainwashed children.

    Hilarious!

    I feel young Eddie’s pain. Onions and green bell peppers in the burger? Wonder bread? Those are welfare burgers!
    "Foreign aid is taking money from the poor people of a rich country, and giving it to the rich people of a poor country." - Ron Paul
    "Beware the Military-Industrial-Financial-Pharma-Corporate-Internet-Media-Government Complex." - B4L update of General Dwight D. Eisenhower
    "Debt is the drug, Wall St. Banksters are the dealers, and politicians are the addicts." - B4L
    "Totally free immigration? I've never taken that position. I believe in national sovereignty." - Ron Paul

    Proponent of real science.
    The views and opinions expressed here are solely my own, and do not represent this forum or any other entities or persons.

  31. #27
    Quote Originally Posted by Brian4Liberty View Post
    Hilarious!

    I feel young Eddie’s pain. Onions and green bell peppers in the burger? Wonder bread? Those are welfare burgers!
    What the hell is wrong with peppers and onions in the burger? You want them raw? If not, how else are they going to cook on the grill, if not in the meat?

    Welfare burgers won't kill you. McDonald's will. Welfare burgers aren't pushing critical race theory. McDonald's is. Grocery stores got over masks and b.s. here. McDonald's hasn't.

    Anyone who supports that corporation is no friend of mine.

    Young Eddie's pain. Eddie Murphy is an idiot. Always was.
    Last edited by acptulsa; 10-10-2021 at 09:56 PM.
    "Stupidity got us into this mess. Why can't it get us out?"--Will Rogers

    "All I know is what I read in the newspapers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance."--Will Rogers

  32. #28
    Quote Originally Posted by acptulsa View Post
    What the hell is wrong with peppers and onions in the burger? You want them raw? If not, how else are they going to cook on the grill, if not in the meat?

    Welfare burgers won't kill you. McDonald's will. Welfare burgers aren't pushing critical race theory. McDonald's is. Grocery stores got over masks and b.s. here. McDonald's hasn't.

    Anyone who supports that corporation is no friend of mine.

    Young Eddie's pain. Eddie Murphy is an idiot. Always was.
    The whole point was that he was a kid. Myself, as with many young kids, did not like onions or green bell peppers. Yet there they were in mom’s cooking. Hell, I still don't like green bell peppers, and I know adults who still won’t eat onions or green bell peppers. I love onions, but wouldn't put them in any form of hamburger. Grilled, sautéed, raw, put them on top of the burger.

    Wonder Bread? Come on, that was always crap. Still is.

    McDonalds. Rarely ever ate it. I thought their beef was crap even when I was a kid.

    But the Egg McMuffin isn't terrible. Fairly healthy as far as fast food goes. And screw their politics. No doubt they are fully integrated into the crony kleptocracy. They won’t stay in business with my two purchases a year.
    "Foreign aid is taking money from the poor people of a rich country, and giving it to the rich people of a poor country." - Ron Paul
    "Beware the Military-Industrial-Financial-Pharma-Corporate-Internet-Media-Government Complex." - B4L update of General Dwight D. Eisenhower
    "Debt is the drug, Wall St. Banksters are the dealers, and politicians are the addicts." - B4L
    "Totally free immigration? I've never taken that position. I believe in national sovereignty." - Ron Paul

    Proponent of real science.
    The views and opinions expressed here are solely my own, and do not represent this forum or any other entities or persons.

  33. #29
    "Every lie we tell incurs a debt to the truth. Sooner or later, that debt is paid." - Valery Legasov

  34. #30
    I love a bunch of breakfast food.
    "Every lie we tell incurs a debt to the truth. Sooner or later, that debt is paid." - Valery Legasov

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