A mother, but not a woman
A mother, but not a woman
https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md...?noredirect=on
Braiden Schirtzinger is non-binary, pregnant and about to take on the most gendered role of all
By Samantha Schmidt
AUGUST 16, 2019
The first thing Braiden Schirtzinger felt was the pop — like a bursting balloon.
A doctor had said today could be the day, and a Google search said exercise could help speed up the process. So here Braiden was, under a warm late-April sun shaded by oak and willow trees, taking a third lap around a suburban Virginia neighborhood, determined to walk out a baby.
Braiden stopped on the sidewalk, feeling the liquid trickling through baggy gray basketball shorts.
“Mom, get in the car,” Braiden said over the phone. “My water just broke.”
For nine exhausting months, Braiden had lived in a body that felt more feminine, with its swelling belly and breasts, than Braiden had ever felt inside. And yet this transformation was the means to what the 26-year-old had always wanted to become: a mom.
Braiden was born biologically female but has always identified as more masculine than feminine. For months before the pregnancy, Braiden had taken testosterone shots, leading to a deeper voice, a sharper jaw, more muscular arms. But Braiden is no longer a transgender man.
At an LGBTQ support group almost two years ago, Braiden heard someone use a word that resonated: “non-binary.” It felt like the best way to describe who Braiden was — not a he or a she, but a “they,” part of what appears to be a growing group of Americans who identify as genders other than male or female.
No reliable data is available on their numbers, but non-binary people like Braiden are more visible than ever — and parts of the country are rapidly adopting rules to recognize them. State and city governments, including in D.C., California and New York, have begun offering a gender option of “X” on identification cards. Airlines, school districts and colleges nationwide are allowing alternative gender markers.
A lexicon of pronouns, such as “they” and “them,” has also emerged to express the idea that gender is fluid, moving along a continuum from male to female. The Washington Post has formally recognized the new pronouns since 2015.
To people like Braiden, the terms provide a liberating alternative. But to many Americans, the pronouns are ungrammatical and confusing. They find moral certitude in a binary world, made up of men and women playing roles that conform to the genders on their birth certificates. And right now, on the sidewalk, baritone voice cracking with excitement and body beginning to shake, Braiden was about to take on one of the most gendered roles of all: motherhood.
Braiden, wearing a Hogwarts T-shirt and Adidas sandals with socks, turned around and started wobbling in the direction of home, dialing at the same time. A neighbor walked by with her golden retriever, and Braiden stopped to pet it, as if it were just a casual afternoon stroll.
“What am I doing on my phone? I was just about to … oh, call the doctor,” Braiden said, tapping the numbers for the obstetrician’s office.
“Hi, it’s Brittany Schirtzinger,” Braiden said, using the legal name, the dead name, the despised name. “Can you, um, let Dr. Gonzalez know I’m on my way to Fairfax? My water just broke.”
Breathing deeply, Braiden hobbled into the house and upstairs to change into a fresh pair of boxers. Braiden’s dad, Steve Schirtzinger, walked into the house just in time to make the drive to the hospital.
Clutching a water bottle and a stick of Old Spice deodorant, Braiden rushed awkwardly back down the stairs and into the passenger seat of a Nissan Sentra, a diaper bag already on the back seat.
And on and on and on...
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Originally Posted by tod evans
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