The Week That Perished

[Occam's Banana]

But the Anointed Ones toppled the statue of Matthew Baldwin, who was a committed abolitionist.

And defaced the Mass 54th regiment's marker in Boston.

The list goes on.

I think the only point being made here was, yet again, this is Marxist cultural revolution.

The "Old Order" must go, regardless of who it is, or how much they may have agreed with your cause.

I suspect that at some point, critical mass insanity will be reached, and statues of Lenin and Marx and Che' will start to topple, because "rayciss".

In the case of Che', I suppose it's justified, as his animosity towards the Anointed Sainted Negroes, is well documented.

If that was the point the author was trying to make, then the things you mention are the exactly the kinds of things he ought to have said.

But instead, he just shoveled a load of hagiographic horse$#@! because it was rhetorically cheaper and easier.

The whole BLM/Antifa/Woke axis deserves the harshest of criticisms - not the shallow spouting of literally false pieties (and especially not in defense of a man who, at least as much as any other, was responsible for the "reconstruction" of the authoritarian order under which we presently find ourselves).

[Swordsmyth]

This is utter nonsense. Being critical of BLM's shenanigans is one thing, but that doesn't justify irresponsibly spewing such ignorant bilge just to score some cheap rhetorical points. Abraham Lincoln did not free "practically every black in the U.S." and there is little evidence that he gave a $#@! about "Black lives." (Indeed, given the death toll of the Civil War, white lives don't seem to have mattered much to him, either - all his pretty words at Gettysburg to the contrary notwithstanding.)

Lincoln's much-vaunted Emancipation Proclamation explicitly exempted every slave within the Union's purview at the time it was issued, and it applied only to those states (or parts of states) that were in armed rebellion against the Union - meaning that all the slaves in Missouri, Kentucky, Delaware, Maryland, West Virginia and elsewhere were just $#@! out of luck. Saying that the Proclamation "freed" any slaves is like saying that a U.S. President would have "freed" all the prisoners in the Soviet gulags if he had merely written down on a piece of paper a sentence that said, "All the prisoners in the Soviet gulags are hereby released."

In his first inaugural address, Lincoln announced that he would support the so-called "Corwin amendment." Had it passed, it would have become the 13th amendment and would have constitutionally guaranteed federal protection for the existence of slavery in perpetuo (i.e., forever). However, the secession of South Carolina and other states not long after his inauguration rendered the proposed amendment moot. (But as they say, it's the thought that counts.)

And then there's Lincoln's infamous letter to New York Tribune founder and editor Horace Greeley, in which he explicitly stated that his sole concern was with preserving the Union (i.e., continuing his rule over as much territory as possible) - and that if he could do so without freeing so much as a single slave, then he would do it.

Does any of that sound like someone to whom black lives mattered in any way (as opposed to his own political power)? And those are just three examples from off the top of my head. I'm sure that others could be cited to the same effect.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but $#@! Lincoln. $#@! him with a rusty spike. And just in case anyone thinks it actually needs to be said, $#@! the Confederates, too ... buncha goddam human chattel slavers ...

I'd also like to add that in one of Lincoln's speeches that he gave in 1858, he openly stated that black and white people are not equal.

While I have no respect for Lincoln and know him to have been racist I must point out that the article is speaking to the false narrative that the people now attacking Lincoln believe.
They did not trot out the proof he was a racist who didn't care about anything but power, they just declared him a racist in the face of the accepted narrative that he was the great emancipator.

I find it immensely funny because marxists are telling the truth while thinking they are lying.

[Anti Federalist]

If that was the point the author was trying to make, then the things you mention are the exactly the kinds of things he ought to have said.

But instead, he just shoveled a load of hagiographic horse$#@! because it was rhetorically cheaper and easier.

The whole BLM/Antifa/Woke axis deserves the harshest of criticisms - not the shallow spouting of literally false pieties (and especially not in defense of a man who, at least as much as any other, was responsible for the "reconstruction" of the authoritarian order under which we presently find ourselves).

Your points are valid and ring true.

I'll dispute them no further.

Merry Christmas!

[Occam's Banana]

While I have no respect for Lincoln and know him to have been racist I must point out that the article is speaking to the false narrative that the people now attacking Lincoln believe.

Unfortunately, the article does not merely speak to that false narrative, it actively reinforces it.

They did not trot out the proof he was a racist who didn't care about anything but power, they just declared him a racist in the face of the accepted narrative that he was the great emancipator.

The article made the same mistake in the opposite direction - it just parroted the false but accepted narrative and declared him to be the great emancipator

I find it immensely funny because marxists are telling the truth while thinking they are lying.

And the author is repeating lies while thinking he is telling the truth - or worse, he knows they are lies and is repeating them anyway.

[Anti Federalist]

The Week That Perished

https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-119/

Takimag

December 27, 2020

The Week’s Most Trending, Offending, and Year-Ending Headlines

BLACK SWAN LAKE

The ballet dancers weren’t really very good—no better than anybody else would have been, anyway. They were burdened with sashweights and bags of birdshot, and their faces were masked, so that no one, seeing a free and graceful gesture or a pretty face, would feel like something the cat drug in. —Kurt Vonnegut, “Harrison Bergeron”

If ballet is one of the few examples of Western art and culture that has, so far, escaped the diversity abattoir, it’s likely due to the fact that not enough people of color patronize the damn thing for any of them to be offended by its “whiteness.” But that might be changing, thanks to the moneyed white leftists who run many of the world’s most prestigious ballet companies.

Last month, the San Francisco Ballet, America’s oldest professional ballet company, promised its benefactors that it would hire more black dancers in honor of George Floyd, a well-known patron of the arts (indeed, Floyd’s 2020 interpretation of Ninette de Valois’ classic ballet Checkmate, retitled Badcheckmate, had black folks grand-battementing in the streets). Unfortunately, the company could find no qualified black dancers, leading one employee to admit that the “diversity” problem is baked into the art form itself, ’cuz #BalletSoWhite: “With a white classical form such as ballet, there’s a racist history that is fundamentally ingrained.”

Still and all, it turns out that finding qualified black ballet dancers doesn’t solve the problem. Last week The New York Times featured a page-one exposé of the cruel racist treatment meted out to the only black company member of Germany’s Staatsballett Berlin. Chloé Lopes Gomes, a black Frenchwoman, was damn near genocided by the fact that the troupe expected her to apply the same makeup that the other dancers wear for Swan Lake. As the Times reported, “Until fairly recently, it has been common practice in ballet companies for the female dancers in ballets like ‘Swan Lake,’ ‘Giselle’ and ‘La Bayadère’ to apply a whitening makeup in order to look like beings from another world, be they swans, sylphides, spirits or Shades.”

When Lopes Gomes was asked to apply the traditional makeup, she balked, calling it “whiteface.” And the Times agreed, claiming that “defenders of these traditions always said that the dancer was simply playing a character. But it was not a valid argument in a context in which one race had oppressed another.

So apparently because black people were once enslaved in America a French black woman must not wear makeup in a German production of a ballet composed by a Russian.

Stunningly logical!

Lopes Gomes has since been dismissed from Staatsballett Berlin, which seems odd considering her team spirit. She told the Times that she has vowed to persevere until there are no more all-white productions of Swan Lake.

Good luck with that. Ballet dancing plus classical music plus a body of water equals arguably the last thing in the world that most black people want to be involved with.

PHASE 1: COLLECT UNDERPANTS. PHASE 2: ? PHASE 3: DIVERSITY!

And on the subject of “thee-ate-er,” last week The Seattle Times, in a glossy Sunday arts supplement, devoted 3,200 words to the exciting, amazing, game-changing, earth-shaking plan crafted by “Seattle theater leaders” to erase racism from the performing arts and usher in a new golden age of diversity. As the Times reports it, “The Seattle theater leaders were starting something different, something much more ambitious, though they didn’t fully realize it yet. They were beginning a process to overhaul the entire ecology of their field, at every level.”

Sounds amazing! And, as the Times points out, the actions of these “Seattle theater leaders” have attracted national attention:

Slowly, others around the country are starting to hear about the Seattle effort, now officially calling itself Seattle Theatre Leaders (STL), and watch its progress. If STL succeeds, if this broad coalition of theater makers effectively transforms one part of the arts world in one city, it might just set a standard that can be exported—not simply to other arts disciplines, but to other sectors in America that are struggling with the deep, pervasive and seemingly intractable problem of institutional racism.

Holy cow, that’s impressive. Now, at this point, Seattle Times readers were probably curious to learn the details of this revolutionary “effort.” What, exactly, is this thing that STL is doing that’s so “transformative”? What’s the “plan”?

But the Times wasn’t finished hyping it yet.

“It’s really exciting what’s coming out of and through Seattle—I don’t think there’s another city doing this,” said Nicole Brewer, a faculty member at Yale School of Drama who is in very high demand these days as an anti-racist consultant across the English-speaking world, including a recent job at Shakespeare’s Globe theater in London. “It’s really exciting what’s coming out of and through Seattle as a model not just for others around the country, but around the world.”

Incredible! Okay, Seattle Times…this is where you should explain the details of “what’s coming out of and through Seattle.”

Nope, more hype:

The fact that STL has kept its momentum—and that the bosses keep showing up instead of sending their assistants—is one of its superpowers.

“Superpowers,” great. But what exactly is it that STL is doing?

“Having a brave moment,” states the Times.

And then the article finally gets to the matter of specifics:

STL is after concrete action and is currently drawing up a list of action items and commitments written by and for local theater makers. The list is still being written and STL as a group declined to share a current draft.

So…nothing at all. Just a bunch of “brave” Seattle leftists fellating a bunch of fawning Seattle journalists about an amazing plan that doesn’t exist, and those journalists conning readers into wading through 3,200 words just to learn that the tease has no release.

No substance; just empty words, masturbatory smugness, and wasted time.

“Diversity” at its essence!

QU’EST-CE QUE LA CAUSE ET L’EFFET?

For a nation that prides itself on producing generations of philosophers and intellectuals, France is strikingly ignorant when it comes to the rather basic concept of cause and effect.

Seriously, Descartes? You couldn’t take five minutes to explain this notion to your countrymen?

Last week, French authorities were left scratching their heads following the crowning of a new Miss France. It seems that the first runner-up, April Benayoum, is Jewish. And for some odd reason, when Benayoum, who holds the title of Miss Provence, mentioned during the telecast that her father is Israeli, French Twitter exploded with “hate tweets” directed at the 21-year-old beauty.

A few choice examples (translated into English):

“Uncle Hitler, you forgot to exterminate Miss Provence.”

“She should not be Miss Provence; SHE’S A JEW!”

“Hitler forgot one.”

“Into the ovens with her!”

“Death to Miss Provence! Death to Israel!”

This story has been widely covered by the French media, with everyone from the interior minister to the pageant winner speaking out to condemn the hateful tweets. Oddly missing from every news report is a tiny little detail regarding the offending Twitter accounts. Indeed, whereas some French politicians have tried to blame the anti-Jewish onslaught on the “far right,” one canny Twitterer made the following observation after reviewing the profiles of the “haters”:

“French far right tweeters do not have Arabic handles or North African surnames.”

Yep, almost 100% of the abuse is coming from people who are “French” only to the extent that they drove their murder lorries and flew their suicide planes to France from their Muslim nation of origin. The “haters” are Muslim immigrants, and this should come as no surprise to anyone. In a 2015 survey, a whopping 74% of Muslims in France were found to hold strongly anti-Jewish attitudes.

France’s decision to import a replacement population of Islamic Third Worlders has resulted in hostility toward a Jewish beauty pageant contestant with an Israeli father.

Bafflement!

The French, being French, have of course responded to the hostile tweets like imbeciles, by limiting speech rather than immigration. According to The Sunday Times:

French police were ordered yesterday to track down people who posted a torrent of antisemitic abuse against the runner-up in this year’s Miss France beauty contest. Gérald Darmanin, the interior minister, said that he had “mobilised the police and the gendarmerie.”… The offence of publishing antisemitic remarks carries a maximum penalty of one year in prison and a €45,000 fine.

French authorities have assured the nation’s Jews that the strategy of continually importing bloodthirsty jihadists but making sure they don’t express their views on Twitter will totally keep the population safe.

Liberté, Egalité, Stupidité.

“DUTY, HONOR, COUNTRY” (SCRATCH THE “HONOR” PART)

With President Biden very likely to give the green light to a whole bunch more pointless foreign military engagements, it’s never been more important for our armed forces to be in tip-top fighting shape. And that doesn’t just mean physically. Mentally, our service members need to be at their peak. After all, the neocons are going to need at least some people with the brainpower to defuse IEDs, fly drones, and monitor Dick Cheney’s blood pressure as he masturbates furiously to the notion of war with Iran (too much exertion could kill him).

So this probably isn’t the best time for the revelation that members of the current crop of West Point cadets have traded their white shirts for Black Sox. One of the worst academic scandals in the history of that prestigious institution has recently been uncovered, with more than seventy cadets caught cheating on a math exam. West Point officials blamed the scandal on the fact that, due to COVID, all exams have been given remotely since spring. And apparently, the “cream of the crop” future military elites saw this as an opportunity to cheat their asses off whenever possible in order to secure passing grades.

When asked for comment, John Bolton, wiping away tears of pride, said that “these are exactly the kinds of sneaky little bastards who, if called upon, can totally deceive and sabotage a sitting president who isn’t sufficiently hawkish. God bless these young patriots!”

Surprisingly, the academy has decided to go easy on the cheaters, enrolling almost all of them in “rehabilitation” programs so they can continue their training. This led West Point law professor Tim Bakken to accuse military higher-ups of “downplaying” the scandal. After all, he argued, it becomes a “national security issue” when graduating cadets don’t have the smarts to “become senior leaders the nation depends on.”

It’s a little late for those concerns. A 2016 report published in Joint Force Quarterly (National Defense University Press) titled “Officers Are Less Intelligent” found that today’s officers are, well, less intelligent:

Two-thirds of the new officers commissioned in 2014 would be in the bottom one-third of the class of 1980; 41 percent of new officers in 2014 would not have qualified to be officers by the standards held at the time of World War II. Similarly, at the top of the distribution, there are fewer of the very intelligent officers who will eventually become senior leaders.

By every measure—SATs, GPAs, and “critical thinking skills”—our officers are getting dumber and dumber. The report blames everything but the most likely reason for the decline.

In 2003, when the Supreme Court narrowly saved affirmative action from extinction by a 5–4 vote, the court, in its majority decision, cited as proof of the beneficence and necessity of race-based admissions an amicus brief signed by 29 former high-ranking officers and civilian leaders of the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marine Corps. In the brief, the military leaders argued that only by choosing cadets by race and not ability can institutions like West Point produce a “highly qualified officer corps.”

SCOTUS enthusiastically cited that brief as a primary reason for keeping affirmative action alive, essentially saying, “It’s going so well for the military, let’s keep doing it everywhere.”

Well, that worked out great, didn’t it?

Arguably the most unfortunate irony in this story is that the exact type of cadets who could elevate West Point’s academic ranking are also the ones most likely to side with China in any future conflict.

WONTON HYPOCRISY

Ah, the Chinese. Is there anything they can’t do? First they give the world a disease that’s killed millions globally and wrecked the economy of pretty much every nation on earth with a name that doesn’t end in “hina,” and now in their grand benevolence they’ve provided a masterful solution to the problem of government officials who order their citizens into lockdown only to disobey their own regulations by eating in fancy restaurants when restaurant dining is banned or traveling home for a big holiday dinner when none of the commoners have that right.

See, the problem is, a lot of pro-lockdown Democrats have been caught violating their own economy-killing rules. A lot. Like, so many that lists are rendered outdated almost as quickly as they’re compiled. Now, one possible response to public outrage over Democrats who order lockdowns they don’t follow is for Democrats to stop ordering lockdowns they don’t follow, or at least for them to start following the lockdowns they order.

But that would be too simple.

Instead, why not entrust the media—a.k.a. the DNC’s public relations flacks—with the task of coming up with a rationalization for why the bad guys are not the hypocritical Democrat lockdowners but the ordinary Americans who criticize the hypocritical Democrat lockdowners?

Last week the AP, running interference for the chow-downing “you must not chow down in restaurants” Democrats, ran a piece that asked whether “it’s even reasonable to believe politicians should live up to standards many people haven’t been able to follow as the pandemic drags on.”

In other words, if you’re having difficulty following the Democrats’ lockdown directives, that gives the Democrat politicians who instituted them the right to not follow the directives they instituted. Get it? Your disobedience of laws you didn’t pass means that the people who passed those laws get to disobey them too because if ordinary folks can’t abide by them then why should the people who forced the ordinary folks to abide by them have to abide by them?

To support its thesis, the AP interviewed Daniel Effron, associate professor at London Business School. Effron explained that the only reason Americans view lockdown-breaking Democrats as “hypocrites” is because in an “individualistic culture,” people are selfishly unforgiving of “inconsistency.”

“In a collectivist culture (like China), people may forgive the inconsistency if there are explanations for it,” Effron told the AP. “It’s not that people in Asia are OK with hypocrisy. It’s that saying one thing and doing another does not always count as hypocrisy; it’s about trying to do what’s right in different situations.”

Yes, in Asian “collectivist culture,” saying one thing and doing another just means that you’re “trying to do what’s right.”

Effron is the coauthor of a 2017 study about how cultures that stress the importance of “interdependence,” specifically China, understand that political leaders who appear hypocritical are merely “other-oriented and generous.” On the other hand, “individualistic” Western cultures cruelly expect political leaders to follow the rules they set for others.

So we all just need to be a little more Chinese in our approach to seemingly hypocritical—but actually “other-oriented and generous”—politicians.

The next time you find yourself angered by the fact that you’re banned from eating out, having visitors, or comforting elderly relatives by Democrats who eat out, have visitors, and comfort elderly relatives, just know that your objection to their double standards is nothing more than the result of your infernal Western “individualism.”

How fortunate Americans are to have a wire service like the AP to clear that up.

And how fortunate the world is to have an ascendant nation like China, where pandemics are born, as are the rationalizations for why those who make the pandemic rules needn’t follow them.

[Swordsmyth]

https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-120/

The Week’s Shakiest, Bakiest, and Deepfakiest Headlines

BLACKS BLAST BUSTED BUST
2020 was many things, all of them bad. It was the year of COVID, the year of George Floyd, the year of riots and looting, the year of economic downturn, the year of mass retail bankruptcies, and the year of dodgy mail-in voting.

But it was also the year that social justice activists wanted Americans to know that property is, well, just property. From “progressive prosecutors” decriminalizing property crimes in cities across the nation to leftists defending the mass destruction caused by BLM, the message was clear: Property losses are no big whoop, and if you complain about them, you’re a genocidal maniac who prioritizes inanimate objects over human life.

All throughout the year, politicians and activists lectured the public about the unimportance of property damage. “Black lives matter more than property,” declared the leftist New America Foundation in June, adding that “prioritization of property” and “reverence for property” are “white supremacist” traits, and therefore “destruction of property is a direct challenge to a system built on exploitation and oppression.”

“Police are putting property over the sanctity of human life!” screeched In These Times that same month.

The Nation topped them all with a piece titled “In Defense of Destroying Property.” Yes, property should be destroyed, if doing so furthers an important cause:

What if property destruction is more than an understandable lapse of judgment and loss of control? What if it is not a frustrated, emotional reaction but a reasonable and articulate expression in itself? Refusing to incorporate acts of destruction into the political imaginary of protest deprives these acts of their political power.

So go out there, you passionate protesters, and smash things!

Wait, no, don’t smash that!

Last week, a large ceramic sculpture honoring ventilated black woman Breonna Taylor was destroyed by vandals in downtown Oakland, Calif. The bust, which frankly looked more like Willie Tyler’s puppet Lester than the Kentucky dead girl, had only been up for two weeks before it was demolished. Leo Carson, the obviously sight-impaired sculptor, blasted the vandalism as an “act of racist aggression” and called on police to vigorously find and arrest those responsible. Oakland’s mayor and city council also decried the destruction and ordered the police chief to spare no resources to apprehend those responsible.

So much for the value and necessity of property destruction as social statement. Suddenly, protecting property isn’t “white supremacy,” but an act of social justice, and vandalism isn’t an act of social justice, but “white supremacy.”

Odd how those definitions can turn on a dime.

Similar to how, last week, when loony white dude Anthony Warner blew up some property in Nashville on Christmas Day (after broadcasting a warning intended to prevent human casualties), leftist Twitter denounced the act as “domestic terrorism” because property was destroyed! But literally that same day, when leftist “Earth First” vandals sabotaged three natural-gas pumping sites in Aspen, Colo., depriving over 3,500 people (many of them elderly) of heat and hot water for days during a snowstorm, Colorado officials dismissed the notion that the attack was “terrorism,” because “only property” was destroyed.

It’s becoming increasingly difficult to determine when one can or can’t destroy property…when vandalism is “social justice” or “Nazi tyranny.”

But at least the Oakland sculptor has raised almost $30,000 to redo the bust in bronze, promising the city that the new Lester, make that Breonna, sculpture will be impervious to vandalism.

Good thing Popular Mechanics didn’t publish a manual this summer instructing activists in how to demolish bronze sculptures.

Oh, $#@!…

THESE BEASTS SHALL FART NO MORE
It’s always been understood that “global warming” alarmists have no regard for human life. Indeed, they see humans as parasites who are slowly killing “Mother Earth” with their insidious love of electricity and transportation and using technology to improve living conditions around the globe. “Green” activists would rather see large swaths of humans die off from curable and preventable diseases than allow developing nations to use insecticides, air-conditioning, or nuclear power.

There’s never been much doubt that at the core of the “green agenda” is the notion that this ol’ planet would be just super if not for the people. But it was always assumed that animals get a free pass, that the targets of the depopulation campaign are humans and not mankind’s four-legged friends. After all, what’s the point of saving the earth if only plants get to enjoy it?

Environmental wackos have long beefed about cow and deer farts, which are supposedly warming the atmosphere like John Goodman on taco night. But surely that’s no reason to send the poor beasts to Cowschwitz.

Think again. Last week in Portugal, construction of a gigantic “solar power park” with 650,000 panels began with the slaughtering of an entire forest. “Green energy” hucksters had handpicked a large estate in Azambuja (a district in Lisbon) for their solar panel monstrosity. The only problem was, the estate was an officially designated ecological reserve, teeming with wildlife. So in the name of saving the planet, the “greenies” contracted with a team of Spanish hunters to go into the reserve and shoot the living $#@! out of everything that moves. And since the reserve had been walled in to protect the animals from poachers, once the “cull” started, the animals had nowhere to run, leading one Azambuja councilman to describe the affair as a “massacre.”

Over 540 animals—mostly farting deer and burping boar—were killed by sixteen hunters (greenies don’t mind “toxic masculinity” when it can be used in the service of a canned hunt to save the earth). Rumor has it that each kill shot was accompanied by a recording of Greta Thunberg telling the animals, “How dare you!”

Furious members of the Portuguese Institute for Nature Conservation and Forests complained that they had not given the okay to the hunt. Responding to the furor over the mass killing, the Portuguese environmental agency APA agreed to reevaluate its approval of the solar park. In response, the charlatans behind the project promised the APA that from now on they’d work to “preserve the biodiversity” of the area.

A little late for that, although there might still be a frog or two on the grounds of the estate.

Do frog farts cause global warming? Quick, someone contact AOC for her expert opinion.

“GODADDY BLESS US, EVERY ONE”
This Christmas, as Americans were doing their best to have a pleasant holiday in the face of the crippling economic and societal devastation wrought by COVID lockdowns, the 7,000 employees of tech giant GoDaddy were treated to the best-ever real-life version of A Christmas Carol…with a slightly revised ending.

GoDaddy, the Scottsdale-based domain registrar and hosting site, has long trumpeted its “social justice” cred. With its average yearly revenue of around $3 billion, GoDaddy isn’t just some faceless mega-corp. No, GoDaddy is the corporation that cares! Its website trumpets the company’s devotion to its “diverse” employees: “Nurturing a culture of diversity and inclusion is woven into the fabric of GoDaddy. Employees’ unique experiences enrich everything we do. And at the end of the day, diverse teams make us better. Allyship is an important part of GoDaddy.”

Stunning and brave!

After George Floyd had his SSL certificate permanently revoked in May, GoDaddy threw itself headfirst into BLM-mania, holding a roundtable discussion with BLM militants covering “when to use the terms ‘POC’ vs ‘Black’, and the significance of the ‘American Dream’ and if that idea still is indeed a reality for black communities in this country.” The tech giant also pledged to continue to cancel the domain registrations of “racist” sites.

Brave and stunning!

“We stand with the entire Black community and are committed to doing our part as we strive toward racial equity and justice,” the company tweeted on June 3, adding that GoDaddy was “matching employee donations to non-profit organizations dedicated to racial equality and social justice.”

Those 7,000 employees were “nudged” to give, give, give to leftist organizations, no matter the fact that the pandemic had put discretionary cash in short supply for most people. “Donate even if it hurts” was the crux of the company’s message; nothing’s more important than BLM!

But, wouldn’t you know it, that magnanimous spirit of giving didn’t extend to the company’s attitude toward those very same employees. At the beginning of December, GoDaddy let its peons know that there’d be no Christmas bonuses this year. Sorry, folks. You having a happy holiday isn’t as important as us funneling money to Democrat front groups.

But then, on Dec. 14, a miracle occurred! GoDaddy sent its workers an email stating that HQ had undergone a wondrous change of heart: There would be Christmas bonuses after all! $650 for everyone! Employees were asked to fill out a brief online form to collect their bounty.

GoDaddy employees began celebrating in the streets, singing “Thank You Very Much” from the climax of the 1970 film Scrooge.

And then the bosses revealed the truth: The email had been a hoax from corporate HQ, purposely sent to all employees to see who’d fall for it, as a way to teach them a lesson about “phishing” scams.

GoDaddy, the social justice company, quite literally tortured its depressed and deprived workers with a bait-and-switch prank designed to falsely raise their hopes and spirits at Christmastime, as part of an internal test of employee gullibility. This is the revised ending of Christmas Carol in which Scrooge tells the debtors he forgave that he was just $#@!ing with them and they still owe, as he fires Bob Cratchit, kicks Tiny Tim in the shins, and spends the day laughing at all the suicides he caused, as Jacob Marley screams up from hell, “You dick.”

For domain owners who might want to teach GoDaddy’s execs a Christmas lesson of their own, you can find their No. 1 competitor, NameCheap, here.

WOK-COOKING THE BOOKS
Nobody doubts that the Chinese are excellent at math. One need only view the SAT scores of Chinese college applicants to know that these folks are pretty damn good with numbers. Unfortunately, the Chinese are also pretty damn good at distorting numbers. The death toll of Mao’s Great Leap Forward and Cultural Revolution is generally believed to be between 60 and 80 million. When Deng Xiaoping released the “official” figures of Mao-caused deaths following the Chairman’s demise in 1976, he put the total at a paltry 16.5 million. Since then, it’s declined steadily, with current Chinese president Xi Jinping reportedly putting the figure at somewhere around a hundred or so (and they all died from overstuffed bellies from all the amazing food that was grown courtesy of Mao’s brilliant collectivization policies).

Bottom line: Numbers from China are not to be trusted; people who know math that well are also expertly equipped to convincingly fudge their figures.

Remember Wuhan? Remember how the Chinese government boasted about its amazing COVID containment procedures there? Well, it turns out—to absolutely no one’s surprise except American journalists—that the Chinese engaged in some very creative abacus-ing with those Wuhan figures. It appears that, at the beginning of the pandemic, over ten times as many Wuhanians were infected with the bug than Chinese officials first reported. And apparently the Chinese Center for Disease Control and Prevention knew those actual infection numbers back in April, but didn’t make them public until last week.

Fortunately, COVID officials in the U.S. aren’t as deceptive…except when they are, which is usually. As when Fauci the Magnificent admitted last week that he’d purposely withheld his “actual” herd immunity projections from the public because the ordinary saps “weren’t ready to hear them yet.” At least Chinese CDC officials have the excuse that they’ll be sent to labor camps if they don’t do the government’s propagandistic bidding. All Fauci is risking is whether his biopic starring Al Pacino gets a theatrical release or goes straight to streaming.

Funny enough, back in June, the U.S. press used those phony Wuhan figures to lecture Americans for not doing as well at containment as the noble Chinese. “U.S. response to COVID-19 is worse than China’s. 100 times worse,” scolded Time magazine on June 10.

When asked if Time would be issuing a retraction in light of the amended Chinese figures, a spokesman for the venerable newsmagazine donned a sombrero and fake mustache and said, “No comprende, señor. I just thee gardener here.”

Displaying a dexterity at spinning worthy of the Yinchuan Acrobatic Troupe, the Chinese CDC used its fudged figures as yet another reason to brag, explaining that the fact that so many more people than initially thought had been infected makes the defeat of COVID in China all the more remarkable. “It indicates that China has succeeded in controlling the epidemic with Wuhan as the main battlefield, and effectively controlled the large-scale spread of the epidemic,” a Chinese CDC spokesperson told the press last week, pausing after his statement to stare straight ahead as his eyes darted shiftily back and forth while the sound of a gong was heard in the background.

Mere days after the Chinese CDC’s totally not-bull$#@! press conference, it was announced that a new surge of cases throughout the country will likely lead to massive travel and gathering restrictions for 2021’s Lunar New Year.

Thank heavens the U.S. will soon be led by a man who has professed blind and unyielding faith in the honesty and integrity of China. There’s certainly no reason to foresee that ending in disaster.

REMOTE UNLEARNING
And speaking of people who should never, under any circumstances, be taken at their word…

American educators have had a difficult time this year, stuck at home unable to do in-person instruction because they lobbied their Democrat lapdogs to keep them stuck at home unable to do in-person instruction.

Indeed, these courageous unionized indoctrinators had to make several horrific sacrifices due to COVID.

As important as it was for public school teachers to fight for their sacred right to collect union benefits while sitting on a couch listening to social justice podcasts all day, the unfortunate by-product of this was that by refusing to actually go to work inside classrooms, these heroes were unable to do dance videos like the nation’s “beleaguered” and “overworked” nurses. Yes, it was a terrible trade-off. No videos of “brave” teachers twerking down schoolhouse hallways. Because you have to be willing to actually go to the schoolhouse for that to happen.

The other sacrifice was even worse. With union teachers staying at home, with public schools shuttered, it became increasingly difficult to physically destroy books. After all, you can’t trash a school library from your living room.

In September 2019, in a grossly underreported story, Melissa Barnett, head of English Language Arts for public schools in Washington Township, N.J., cheered the physical destruction of all books in her district that were not “diverse” enough. She tweeted a photo of a dumpster full of books with the celebratory caption, “This week, dumpsters were filled with books that should have left decades ago @TWPSchools and replaced with engaging, relevant, culturally diverse literature.”

Barnett’s tweet birthed a thread in which fellow educators applauded the district for having the guts to pulp evil books.

When a few right-wingers who object to the extermination of literature publicized the thread, Barnett and her cohorts deleted their accounts, and it was left to Washington Township Director of Secondary Education Steve Gregor to explain that the trashed books, which included Frankenstein, 1984, The Grapes of Wrath, Pride and Prejudice, Dante’s Inferno, and Slaughterhouse-Five, “were in poor condition and unreadable, dating back to the 1960s or earlier. We intended to replace them with new copies.”

Apparently, the head of the English Language Arts Department got it all wrong! The books weren’t being trashed because of “diversity.” They were just old, and the school totally intended to replace them.

Because no good school would ever send usable books to the city dump for political reasons!

The exact same story played out earlier this year, when a middle school in Minnesota was caught junking American history books, including Flag of Our Fathers; biographies of Ronald Reagan, Sitting Bull, Mark Twain, and Robert E. Lee; and histories of the American Revolution, D-Day, and the Gulf War. And once again, a nervous principal had to explain that there was no political motive behind the trashing. “Those books were just old, see? They was moth-eaten, see? Fallin’ apart, SEE? It was just a spring cleanin’. Yeah, that’s it. Spring cleanin’!”

But COVID has made public school educators stir-crazy, and a little too honest. Last week hundreds of America’s “teachers,” using the hashtag #DisruptTexts, admitted that yes, the goal is to physically destroy all “classic texts” not written in “the present-day vernacular,” especially all books “in which racism, sexism, ableism, anti-Semitism, and other forms of hate are the norm.” According to the “education heroes,” that includes Shakespeare, Homer, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Hawthorne, and even Dr. Seuss.

#DisruptTexts advocates freely admit to seeking to “trash” books that don’t measure up. Odd that nobody in the press got the hint that this was the case from all of those, you know, trashed books.

Hopefully, once in-person learning begins anew, the media can again go back to turning a blind eye to dumpsters full of “racist” books that, thanks to the very educators who trashed ’em, America’s kids wouldn’t even know how to read anyway.

[Swordsmyth]

https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-121/

The Week’s Testiest, Zestiest, and Unrestiest Headlines

“BRED FOR SUPERIORITY” MEETS ITS POLAR OPPOSITE
Well, this was a crime worthy of Ocean’s 11. Or perhaps more appropriately IQ of 11. Twenty-one-year-old Royshana King (no word on whether she has a brother named Siegfriedshana) of Houston was looking to score big. A real caper, a real “this’ll put us on easy street” kinda crime. But what to steal? Where to hit? Jewelry stores? Naw, the good ones have that whacked-out security $#@! where you gotta go through a door into a little booth then through another door, making it hard to smash and grab. Also, they have that other security system called “instinct” that prompts proprietors to cock their weapons when a 21-year-old who looks like Royshana King walks in.

Banks? Please. Those security guards have guns…that they cock when a 21-year-old who looks like Royshana King walks in.

After several nights of hard thinkin’ and crack smokin’, King and her male accomplice hatched the perfect plan: They’d read somewhere that purebred dogs can go for thousands of dollars. Thousands of dollars! Royshana and her man would visit one of those big-time breeders pretending to be a couple interested in buying one of them fancy-ass moneydogs…and they’d run off with it!

The perfect crime! Dogs can’t fire no guns.

Armed with that knowledge, the two smooth criminals visited Bully Kamp, a Harris County establishment that breeds and sells show-quality bulldogs.

The caper went off beautifully…at first. Royshana saw a 7-month-old bulldog priced at $10,000. And she be like, “Can we see that dog?” And the proprietress was like, “Of course. This particular breed has a lineage that…”

And then Royshana and her man ran out of the store with the puppy.

What they didn’t count on was that the proprietress, Alize James, didn’t need to cock no gun to take on two dognappers. The doughty James chased after the pair and jumped on the hood of their car, T.J. Hooker-style. The pup had recently had surgery, and needed meds. And James was not about to let it fall into the hands of a couple of thugs without a fight.

“My mind was focused on [the puppy’s] health, I obviously didn’t care about my well-being,” James told a local TV station.

James rode that hood for ten minutes at highway speeds, until King and her accomplice, realizing that their Ocean’s 11 caper had hit a snag, finally pulled over. The male beat the crap out of James, thus proving his preference for the Sinatra as opposed to the Clooney version of the film, and stole her necklace. But thanks to James’ bravery, authorities were able to arrest King, and they’re currently searching for her partner, a large African-American male who still has possession of the dog.

It’s probably safe to assume that this rocket scientist has received a swift and merciless lesson in how a “$10,000 dog” isn’t a “$10,000 dog” without documentation. It’s not like pawning a gold watch or a Stratocaster. One can almost hear the dialogue as the hapless gent attempts to fence his booty:

“This a $10,000 dog. How much you gimme?”

“Well, what is the sire?”

“Man! Look, I’ll take $5,000.”

“Okay, but where are the registration papers?”

“Maaaan, c’mon, $3,000.”

“Can you show me the proof of pedigree?”

“Maaaaaaaaaaan, I shoulda robbed a minimart.”

Hopefully, Fat Albert Einstein will return the dog unharmed once he realizes that it’s not only unsalable but his intellectual superior.

“YOU’RE A BROWNER MAN THAN I AM, GUNGA DIN”
Hollywood’s Rules of Woke are getting increasingly harder to follow.

In the early days of movies, white dudes would play Japs, Chinamen, Injuns (tomahawk throwers), and Injuns (acid throwers).

Was it respectful? No. And certainly the industry only got better as Japs could play Japs, Chinese could play Chinese, Chief Dan Georges and Will Sampsons could play every Native American role in every movie in the 1970s, and, well, okay, India Indians were still primarily portrayed by white guys.

Birdie Num-Num.

And not just white guys. Even Hong Kong cinema classics like 1976’s Master of the Flying Guillotine used Chinese actors to portray subcontinent Asians, with Wong Wing-sang, wearing brown makeup and a patchy glued-on beard, portraying an Indian yogi master who can extend his arms ten feet long to deflect attacks (a skill that, had Gandhi possessed it, might’ve saved his life).

Thankfully, over the past decade actual Indian actors have been scoring lead roles in Western cinema due to absolutely no popular demand whatsoever but boy does it make white Americans feel self-satisfied to talk about how much they like that cute little Indian guy with the name that doesn’t come to mind who was in that thing where he was funny but also heartwarming.

In recent years, it’s become verboten in Hollywood for non-Indian actors to affect an Indian accent, to the extent that even Apu was canceled. It’s a tragic turn of events that’s forced marginally talented white Groundlings hacks to narrow their go-to “comedy gold” accents to Scottish or German.

Still, one would assume that actual Indians would be allowed to do Indian accents.

One would be wrong.

Rizwan Manji is an Ismaili Muslim of Gujarati Indian descent, whose parents immigrated to Canada from Tanzania. Manji, an actor, has a supporting role on a show called Schitt’s Creek (a.k.a. the show your friends insist you just have to watch because it’s so critically acclaimed, and then you find out they haven’t seen it either). Manji’s character has a slight Indian accent, and apparently the arbiters of wokeness have decreed that this is racist.

Yes, it’s now racist for an Indian to have an Indian accent.

From CNN:

Fans of the show have taken issue with “Schitt’s Creek” resident Ray Butani (portrayed by Manji), an eccentric businessman who runs a real estate-travel-photography enterprise. Butani, one of the few non-White characters on the show, speaks with an accent and, according to some viewers, plays into stereotypes of South Asian men.

It’s unclear how an Indian with an Indian accent is “a stereotype” as opposed to “a reality.” Some Schitt’s viewers have even gone so far as to call Manji’s role “brownface,” apparently oblivious to the fact that the man actually has a brown face. By that definition, all black actors should be excommunicated from the business because they insist on performing in blackface.

Whites-only Hollywood is the only true way to avoid racially insensitive portrayals.

As baffling as this attack on an Indian actor for having an Indian accent may be, it’s perhaps more understandable if viewed in light of the industry’s obsession with shoehorning actors of color into historical roles for which they’re wholly inappropriate, from British monarchs to Viking warriors to the Little Mermaid. With a blacker-than-Yaphet-Kotto actress set to portray Anne Boleyn in a British TV miniseries, it’s understandable that Manji might want to lose the accent, as rumor has it he’s up for the role of FDR in an upcoming biopic.

“We have nothing to fear bud-bud fear itself.”

BROWN PAPER BAG TEST FOR CONSPIRACY THEORISTS
And on the subject of “blackface”…

Big Tech has gone to great lengths to rid the ’net of “right-wing conspiracy theorists”—Alex Jones types who pollute the world with wacky nutty koo-koo-bananas tall tales about secret government plots and schemes to commit mass murder or engineer disasters to depopulate the world.

But take any standard Alex Jonesian conspiracy theory and darken it up like Jolson, and bang, you have a hit Netflix documentary!

It’s a fairly simple dynamic: The only difference between “loony conspiracy theory, shut it down” and “wow, makes ya think, deserves to be heard” is skin tone.

In 1994, a filmmaker named Randy Holland produced a doc called The Fire This Time. The film posited that the 1992 L.A. Rodney King Riot was a CIA antiblack covert op. There were no rioting blacks; just government “crisis actors.” Rooftop Koreans? Nope, just CIA guys in Mikado makeup. Reginald Denny the beaten white trucker? Possibly an animatronic replicant, although also maybe a hologram (Holland, a cautious researcher, doesn’t firmly commit to either possibility).

Holland’s film won the WGA Award for Best Documentary. It was broadcast on Cinemax, and received glowing reviews in Variety and the L.A. Times, because it’s not at all crazy like that Alex Jones “gay frog” Illuminati crap.

In 2006, Spike Lee released his doc When the Levees Broke, a central theme of which was that Hurricane Katrina was a government depopulation op designed to genocide New Orleans’ blacks. It won three Emmy Awards (Exceptional Merit in Nonfiction Filmmaking, Outstanding Directing for Nonfiction Programming, and Outstanding Picture Editing for Nonfiction Programming), a Peabody Award, the NAACP Image Award, and the Horizons Award at the 63rd Venice International Film Festival.

The reviews were—what’s the word?—glowing, with critics taking great pains to point out that it’s important for these “conspiracy theories” to be heard, because they come from black folks. L.A. Times infinite monkey Paul Brownfield, normally a foe of all theories conspiratorial, gave Lee’s film a free pass, writing that, regarding the movie’s claim that Katrina flooding was government-caused, “This isn’t a film about journalistic balance, it’s about being there so people can exhale.”

See, when white folks speak of grand CIA psyops, false flags, weather control devices, and chemtrails, it’s “right-wing conspiracy bull$#@!” that must be banned and suppressed as even allowing it to exist is a threat to society because “disinformation.” But when blacks indulge in such nonsense, it’s just them “exhaling.” Lettin’ off steam! To censor or condemn such content is to tell blacks that they mustn’t breathe.

Yes, if you criticize black conspiracy theorists, you’re literally suffocating George Floyd.

And this week arrives the new Netflix doc Crack: Cocaine, Corruption & Conspiracy, another gust of black exhalation about how crack cocaine was all a CIA plot and (as the Daily Beast points out, this comes off as a bit contradictory) blacks (a) were never actually harmed by crack—it was all media slander to portray them as addicts, (b) were terribly hurt by crack, per CIA depopulation plans, (c) were left to deal with the crack epidemic on their own by uncaring public officials who never took the problem seriously, and (d) were severely oppressed by caring public officials who took the problem too seriously and overreacted with draconian enforcement.

That’s some exhale! Terry McMillan, eat your heart out.

The Daily Beast is forced to conclude that the film is “borderline disingenuous.” That “borderline” part is an understandable bit of caution, as nobody wants to be too critical of next year’s Oscar winner for Best Documentary Feature.

Rest assured, though, that this “disingenuous” film will not be banned from social media, but any white “right-wingers” echoing its talking points will.

YOU’RE A GRAND OLD FLAGELLATE
Planning to burn a flag? Choose your standard carefully, because your decision might mean the difference between going to prison or becoming independently wealthy.

Remember little Joey Johnson? He’s the Revolutionary Communist Party radical who was arrested in 1984 for burning a stolen (note: stolen) American flag during an anti-Reagan protest in Dallas. Johnson’s case led to the landmark SCOTUS decision that struck down anti-flag-burning laws as unconstitutional. Yes, Americans, you have the right to burn flags, even flags that don’t belong to you, even flags you’ve purloined from folks who don’t want ’em burned.

It’s your sacred right!

Of course, that sacred right only applies to American flags, which (SCOTUS sez) are not sacred. But truly sacred flags must never be burned.

Like the Holy Flag of BLM.

Last week, Proud Boys leader Enrique Tarrio was arrested in D.C. for having burned a BLM flag he took from outside a “historic black church” a month earlier. He’s been charged with “destruction of property” (not theft, because it’s not the theft that matters but the desecration of a sacred object). Even though the burning happened a month ago, D.C. cops were still hot on the case, because there are no other, more serious crimes to investigate in the peaceful utopia that might soon become the nation’s 51st state.

Cops were lying in wait for Tarrio as he flew into D.C. from Miami. They staked out an airport to catch a guy who burned some cloth a month ago.

But of course, it’s not just “some cloth.” BLM banners make the Shroud of Turin look like a cocktail napkin. The BLM flag is the Koran of banners; defile it, you die. One gets the feeling that had Tarrio burned a Bible from that “historically black church,” neither the pastor nor the cops would have pursued the matter.

D.C. prosecutors are contemplating charging Tarrio with a “hate crime” enhancement.

Yep, dude would’ve been a lot safer burning a Bible.

Tarrio had already told The Washington Post that he would plead guilty to the destruction of property charge and reimburse the “historically yada yada” church for the banner, but he’s pledged to fight any “hate crime” charges, as he steadfastly maintains that he destroyed the banner not out of racial animus (Tarrio himself is Afro-Cuban), but because BLM “has terrorized the citizens of this country.”

He’s likely to find out that truth is not a defense in his case.

For the flag-burning alone (not counting the potential hate-crime charges), Tarrio is facing a $1,000 fine and up to 180 days in jail.

Sure, it’s easy to bring up the fact that BLM terrorists have destroyed statues and monuments and burned entire buildings to the ground without facing arrest, but that’s too obvious a point.

Let’s return to little Joey Johnson.

After he was cleared of all charges by the SCOTUS flag decision, he continued burning flags for the next 25 years (to a “revolutionary communist,” that counts as a profession). In 2016 he lit an American flag on fire outside the Republican National Convention in Cleveland. Police stepped in to douse the flames.

And the city of Cleveland was forced to pay Johnson $225,000 for violating his right to publicly burn American flags.

$225,000.

Think on that as you await your $600 Covid relief check.

And now that you’re in a bad mood…

A DEFINING REDEFINING MOMENT
The news from D.C. following the Capitol unrest is nothing but grim. One pro-Trump protester—a fourteen-year military vet—shot dead by Capitol Police. Three other protesters dead via stroke, heart attack, and trampling, and a D.C. police officer—an Iraq War vet—succumbing to a head injury the day after the skirmish.

There’s just nothing fun or funny here.

But as always, there are things that can be learned, and instructive points to glean.

The left spent all of 2020 encouraging the wanton destruction wrought by BLM and Antifa. Cities were burned, hundreds of businesses large and small were reduced to ash, thousands of stores, homes, public spaces, and monuments were vandalized. And it was all good, because, as Chris Cuomo—the guy who makes every cast member of Jersey Shore look like a genius, the guy who best exemplifies why “the Italians” are far, far removed from “the Romans”—said back in June (as BLM thugs were sacking cities across the nation), “Show me where it says protests are supposed to be polite and peaceful.”

Yep, back in the summer, raucous protests were just fine.

If cops, business owners, or concerned citizens dared to harm a BLM or Antifa thug in self-defense, they were guilty of murder. Because violent protesters were not to be opposed. The right to smash, punch, and intimidate is guaranteed by the First Amendment. Maybe that’s not spelled out in the Bill of Rights, maybe it’s not supported by 230 years of Supreme Court precedent, but it’s there, between the lines, in the left’s supplemental footnotes, right alongside the unqualified right to abortion.

But as of Jan. 6, that all changed. Now “impolite” protests are insurrection, treason, and terrorism. All of a sudden, the left has decided that the only good protest is one in which mannered gentlemen with muttonchops exchange platitudes whilst nibbling on cucumber sandwiches and sipping fine aromatic tea.

“I say, dear Cholmondeley, verily have I a grievance to air.”

“In faith, good Sinjin, I shall hear it out, old friend.”

“I do hope my protest has not caused thee undue vexation, kind sir.”

“No more so than has my measured response, I do pray, caused you.”

After almost a year of mass destruction championed and defended as “peaceful protests,” this is how the left now says it should be done. Funny how that works. The Democrats gain control of everything—the White House and Congress—and protests from this point on are supposed to resemble a Jane Austen novel.

But what’s especially interesting is how the left is redefining terrorism. Melissa Chan, an Emmy-nominated journalist who has written for The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Washington Post, The Guardian, and Time (if there’s a place for vacuous leftists, she’s occupied it), made a big stink on the 7th about how the MAGA Capitol-stormers should not be described as “protesters” but “terrorists.” When pesky Twitterers resurfaced past tweets in which she’d proudly referred to violent and destructive BLM hoods as “protesters,” Ms. Chan tweeted the following:

Breaking into the Capitol is not the same as breaking into a Best Buy and I can’t believe I have to explain that. But if you think they’re the same, you should go to the Capitol and try to buy a Playstation 5.

In other words, attacking civilian targets doesn’t make you a terrorist; attacking government targets does.

Except, no. The widely accepted definition of “terrorism” is “the unlawful use of violence and intimidation, especially against civilians, in the pursuit of political aims.”

“Especially against civilians.”

And the Encyclopedia Britannica defines terrorism as something that strikes “places where members of the civilian population are familiar and in which they feel at ease.”

Like a Best Buy.

But, as we saw in 2020, definitions change quickly when they outlive their usefulness to leftists. So in the weeks to come, expect the definition of terrorism to drop any mention of “especially against civilians.” Because when given a choice between altering their behavior to be less uncivil or altering the language to redefine incivility, leftists will always choose the latter.

[Swordsmyth]

https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-122/

The Week’s Most Sodden, Throdden, and Downtrodden Headlines

NAZI PIANO CONCERTO, NUMBER TWO (SECOND MOVEMENT)
Third Reich? More like Turd Reich.

In the immediate aftermath of the Jan. 6 Capitol protest and riot, reportage tended to focus on the big stories—the deaths, the violence, the property damage, and of course Trump. But the media will always eventually exhaust the big angles and go searching for new “exclusives” to misreport.

On Jan. 11, New York congressman Hakeem Jeffries (Brooklyn and Queens) told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer that the Capitol stormers “marked their territory” while running wild through congressional offices. “Weapons were deployed. Mace and bear spray were utilized. Offices were ransacked. Feces and urine was left behind,” the morally outraged Democrat told Blitzer, who responded, “I have heard it from so many of your colleagues—some of these individuals, whether they were neo-Nazis, whether they were racists, they were walking around the U.S. Capitol in really sensitive areas urinating.”

Perhaps Blitzer is referring to such “sensitive areas” as the office where Katie Hill had her naked lesbian threesomes. One hates to think that such sacred ground was defiled.

“Nazis urinated in the offices of Members of Congress in the Capitol yesterday, according to Hakeem Jeffries (Congressman from New York),” tweeted Lisa Goldman, a “journalist” who excels in a more verbal type of defecation, as evidenced by the skidmarks she leaves on the pages of The New York Times, The Guardian, +972 Magazine, and The Conversationalist.

The defecating-Nazis story triggered Nadine van der Velde, a multiple Emmy and Annie award-winning actress, writer, producer, and leftist activist, who tweeted:

My dad, a Holocaust survivor, went home after the Germans were defeated. He found his house ransacked, stripped bare, except for the piano. Nazis couldn’t haul it off. Instead Nazis had urinated and defecated inside to make it unusable. Same hateful energy. #GOPFascists

“Nazis Shat in My Piano” was the original title of Elie Wiesel’s Night, until van der Velde’s father successfully sued, as he was in the process of making his own movie based on his tragic story, titled Life Is Pee-yew-tiful.

Ms. van der Velde is quite well-known for beginning almost every other tweet with “My dad, a Holocaust survivor…” so this was par for her course. Still, the piano attack by the Arms of Krapp is a new one. Putting aside the logistical questions (were the Poopenführers perched on the piano’s edge, or standing on chairs and ladders?), there’s the bigger problem that all abandoned Jewish possessions automatically became property of the Reich when a Jew fled, emigrated, or was sent to a camp. That was the law back then.

Ha ha, you dumb Nazis! You just crapped in your own piano.

Another tragic wartime evacuation.

Perhaps a more important question to ponder is how Democrats can now claim that public defecation is “Nazi” when they’ve fought so hard to make it a “human right” for all homeless people.

If Hakeem Jeffries is upset about the mess in his office, I hope he never looks at the sidewalks of his district.

HYGIENIC HAJI WANTS YOU TO PAY FOR HIS SHOWERS
Head, shoulders, knees and toes,
knees and toes
Head, shoulders, knees and toes,
knees and toes
And eyes and ears and mouth and nose
Head, shoulders, knees and toes,
knees and toes!

Yes, that’s a brief inventory of body parts blown off by convicted Boston Marathon bomber and teen heartthrob Dzhokhar Tsarnaev. It’s also the little ditty he sings in the shower, to remind himself to wash thoroughly. See, Tsarnaev is a very clean terrorist. Not like those dirty terrorists who live in caves alongside stinky goats and sheep. No, Tsarnaev takes his hygiene quite seriously.

Which is why he’s suing the U.S. government for $250,000 over the fact that he’s limited to only three showers a week at the Colorado Supermax prison where he’s currently serving a life sentence (he’d initially been sentenced to death, but last fall an appeals judge reduced it to life, stating that Tsarnaev’s obsessive love of showering was vital to the nation’s struggling mass-murderer monogrammed-soap industry).

Along with suing for extra shower time, Tsarnaev is also demanding the right to wear a “baseball cap and bandanna” in his cell.

Because what’s the point of cleaning yourself up if you can’t slip into something sporty?

Tsarnaev states in his lawsuit that the lack of showers, caps, and bandannas is contributing to his “mental and physical decline.” Legal experts counter that it’s a bit more likely that said “decline” has more to do with being locked 24/7 in a 7-by-12-foot cell. That, and being an already mentally warped pathological killer.

Sadly for the moistened Muhammadan, his suit was rejected by a federal judge last week because dripping Dzhokhar had not included the $402 filing fee, apparently having spent his every last penny on donations to Bernie Sanders after the elderly (and almost certainly unwashed and malodorous) socialist promised to restore the mad bomber’s voting rights (and hell, considering how Democrats conduct their elections, Tsarnaev probably did have a vote cast in his name last November anyway).

With Sanders soon to become a major power player in the new Senate, the Biden Administration might just decide to settle Tsarnaev’s suit out of court.

Now, it’s unclear what a man locked in a 7-by-12-foot box would be able to do with a quarter-million dollars, but perhaps Tsarnaev can set up a dark-money PAC for Rashida Tlaib, and cycle the money back to his biggest fangirl.

After all, money, just like an imprisoned terrorist, is best when fully laundered.

HOW MIDAIR YOU!
These days, “global warming” hucksters might be feeling the need to play catch-up. After all, “climate change” flimflammery is known for two things: hypocrisy and illogic.

Hypocrisy in that climate-change apocalyptics swear that the world will explode if you don’t give up the things you’re doing that are hastening the end-times—relying on fossil fuels, flying in planes, driving cars, using air-conditioning, eating meat, etc. If you don’t surrender those luxuries, the planet will die and it’ll all be your fault. But weirdly, the doomsayers never seem to follow those rules themselves. They fly, drive, eat meat, and generally expel enough pollution to make Mexico City’s air seem breathable by comparison.

And illogic? Well, how logical is it to say that asthma inhalers and plastic bags are polluting the atmosphere but private jets and luxury yachts the size of the Nimitz aren’t?

If there was one thing climate-change charlatans could always boast about, it’s that they were the absolute best at making ordinary folks suffer under inconsistent rules that they themselves didn’t follow.

But then came Covid. And in the space of less than a year, the achievements of the climate scammers became meaningless and forgotten. Hypocrisy and illogic? Nobody does that better than Covid con artists. All last year, millions of people were locked in their homes by politicians who freely and guiltlessly did all the things they prevented their suffering subjects from doing, as “scientists” came up with countless new ways to not make any sense via the “science-based” rules they advocated (six-foot distancing in the line to enter an aircraft where you then sit inches apart from those same people; “outdoor” dining that occurs inside covered structures but is still considered “outside” because the tables were outside before the building was erected around them; outdoor weddings and concerts are “superspreader events,” but outdoor protests are not; etc.).

Clearly, the pressure is now on the global-warming hustlers to up their game. And who better to meet the challenge than the man with his feet planted firmly in both camps, the guy who became a billionaire so long ago that most folks don’t even remember how he did it, and when they’re reminded, they’re like, “Explorer? Really?… Explorer?”

In February, Bill Gates will release his latest book, How to Avoid a Climate Disaster: The Solutions We Have and the Breakthroughs We Need. It promises to contain many “solutions” and “breakthroughs” that involve you being forced to no longer do or own something you currently do or own. As a preview, in a recent blog post Gates condemned Americans for using too much gasoline.

But there’s something he left out of that post: Last week it was revealed that Gates has put in a bid to buy Signature Aviation, the world’s largest private jet operator.

Yes, Gates, who already owns four private jets (he likes to match them to his outfits), will now own the world’s largest fleet of them.

According to the Daily Mail, “the average person produces around 10 tonnes of carbon dioxide each year,” whereas Gates’ private flights alone “produce a staggering 1,600 tonnes” annually.

But you’re the one who needs to stop driving.

Gates, who has often admitted that private jets are his “guilty pleasure,” is likely enjoying his newly reclaimed status as top hypocrite as he dines with Gavin Newsom, Andrew Cuomo, and AOC maskless at an indoor restaurant sitting inches apart and eating steaks made from only the fartiest cows.

MUSK OF DESPERATION
Those “democracy dies in darkness” arbiters of truth in the mainstream media are getting rather desperate in their attempts to dismantle free speech online. Not content with the plethora of recent victories the forces of speech suppression have won—Twitter banning Trump and liquidating millions of rightist accounts, Facebook banning Trump and most “right-wing” groups, YouTube silencing the official White House account, and Google, Apple, and Amazon banning Parler from the Internet—the intrepid journos in legacy media want to push for even more censorship, and they’ve decided to enlist Elon Musk to help them.

The problem is, Elon Musk isn’t helping them. But never doubt that the people who stretched a phony dossier and a made-up rumor about a micturated president into four years of headlines can stretch a single tweeted meme into “Elon Musk wants Facebook silenced!”

On Jan. 6, Musk tweeted an image that he captioned “the domino effect.” It showed a line of progressively larger dominoes, with the smallest one labeled “a website to rate women on campus,” and the largest one showing a tweet by New York Times chief national correspondent Mark Leibovich stating “The Capitol seems to be under the control of a man in a viking hat.”

The meme can be read several ways, including as a joke, or a satire of the notion that there’s a direct line between something as trivial as Facebook’s earliest incarnation and something as surreal as Leibovich’s tweet. Keep in mind, Musk is a guy who once tweeted that Vernon Unsworth, the heroic British diver who was instrumental in the underwater rescue of twelve Thai boys from a cave in 2018, was a “pedo,” only to respond when sued, “hey, I was just having a larf! My tweets aren’t meant to be taken literally. I was just insulting the guy because I don’t like him.”

Similarly, Musk has recently been in a personal feud with Mark Zuckerberg, so it’s probably best not to make broad assumptions about one tweet.

But what is the MSM if not a giant mentally challenged assumption-making machine?

“Elon Musk Blames Facebook and Mark Zuckerberg For Capitol Riot!” screeched a headline in The Observer. Musk “holds the social network at least partly responsible for the U.S. Capitol riot,” wailed Newsweek. And Fox announced that Musk “appears to blame the founding of Facebook for the violence that ensued at the U.S. Capitol.” At least a dozen other news sites echoed those themes.

All based solely on that one tweeted meme.

Most of the articles tried to spin the tweet to make it appear as though Musk was implicitly advocating censorship of online speech…even though Musk has repeatedly gone on record opposing exactly that. In fact, just days after the “domino” tweet, Musk made his position crystal clear regarding Twitter’s Trump ban: “A lot of people are going to be super unhappy with West Coast high tech as the de facto arbiter of free speech.”

So much for basing an entire day’s worth of news on one jokey tweet by the “hey pedo, I wuz just foolin’ around!” guy.

Still, it’s a little frightening how eager the press is to push the pro-censorship line, even to the extent of misrepresenting memes. Perhaps next week, The Observer will trot out its new star advocate of speech suppression: the “Ermahgerd Books” girl.

KATHY SHAIDLE: AN APPRECIATION
Kathy Shaidle, the pioneering blogger, essayist, poet, copywriter, political pundit, and former Takimag columnist, passed away last weekend at the age of 56 after losing her battle with ovarian cancer. Kathy wrote for Takimag from 2011 through 2017, and her columns were always hugely popular, engaging, and, most significantly, unpredictable. Because part of what defined Kathy was her versatility as a writer and thinker. This was a person who could write serious poetry, scathing political commentary, deeply personal essays, and the satirical and hard-edged “Ed Anger” column for the Weekly World News. Regardless of the subject or style, her writing was consistently sharp, and on a dime she could be alternately funny, angry, light, or blistering.

Kathy was also that rarest of rightist thinkers—she appreciated movies as movies, not as politics. Sure, she could write about movies from a political angle better than anyone. But she was a film lover first and foremost, as knowledgeable of the history of cinema as anybody writing on the topic today, or possibly ever. It can be difficult for conservatives—obsessed as they are with viewing Hollywood as “enemy territory”—to critique movies strictly from an artistic perspective. But Kathy’s love of the medium went far beyond politics, and her always-active Facebook page was host to hundreds of fascinating film-centered discussions that transcended the usual pap one gets when people on the right try to broach the topic.

Indeed, Kathy’s regular movie column on Mark Steyn’s site was a must-read for all film aficionados regardless of ideological bent.

Speaking of Facebook, even after she retired from Takimag due to time-constraint issues, she remained a steadfast champion of the site and its authors, posting each piece daily for her many Facebook friends and followers to read and dissect. The resulting threads would bring to mind what comments sections should always ideally be—vigorous but reasoned and well-argued debates among opinionated but civil participants.

As a Hamilton, Ontario-born Canadian, it cannot be overstated how courageous Kathy was. Short in stature and a self-described “agoraphobic homebody,” Kathy nevertheless stood up fearlessly to her country’s politically correct commissars. In a nation where one “offensive” tweet can lead to actual criminal charges as opposed to mere “cancellation,” Kathy Shaidle took risks every day that Americans rarely need to chance.

Shaidle’s 2008 book The Tyranny of Nice (coauthored with Pete Vere) is a must-read regarding the perils of being a Great White North dissident thinker.

A scribe to the very end, Kathy went out writing, continuing to post on Facebook Jan. 7, even as she somberly had to admit that her “eyesight (is) failing a bit and it is hard to type.”

She entered hospice the next day. She passed away on the 9th.

After her death, her wry, self-penned obituary gave her friends and fans something to smile about through the grief as they mourned her passing. It was a quintessentially Kathy Shaidle finale: Words were her life and livelihood, and she wanted to share just a few more of them with her readers, even if she wouldn’t be around to take part in the discussion that followed.

To anyone who similarly loves words, and movies, and political commentary, the loss of Kathy Shaidle is a terribly profound one.

Everyone at Takimag extends their sincerest condolences to her beloved husband, Arnie. Kathy was one of a kind, and the world of letters will never be the same without her.

[DamianTV]

@Swordsmyth - "Always OK for me but NOT OK for thee"

Beyond bullies. No Bully will ever let someone defend themselves. But their plan is much worse than hurt your feelings or bloody a nose...

[Swordsmyth]

https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-123/

The Week’s Most Humbling, Grumbling, and Bumbling Headlines

ARBEIT MACHT KRANKHEITSFREI
For almost a year now, anti-lockdown protesters and refuseniks in the U.S. have dropped the capital N-word regarding heavy-handed government efforts to control the behavior of Americans in the name of (supposedly) controlling Covid. The capital N-word is, of course, quite different from the lower-case n-word, which only rappers and Quentin Tarantino are allowed to use.

Conversely, everyone’s allowed to say the big N-word—Nazi—as long as they’re lobbing it at someone in hatred and not claiming it for themselves with pride. And the repressive (and in many cases blatantly unconstitutional) responses to Covid by state and local governments have earned a lot of American politicians the “Nazi” moniker. Churches shuttered, small businesses padlocked, bench-sitters, park-players, gym-goers, maskless walkers, and restaurant diners rousted, fined, and in some cases jailed by “Covid Nazi” public officials.

It must have been terribly upsetting for the Germans to see another nation claim the title of “Naziest of them all.” Rather like when the French see cheap illegitimate knockoff champagne.

“Zat’s our thing! You don’t get to call it champagne unless it’s from France, le home of ze sham-pah-nyah!”

Last week Germany finally put its foot down regarding the unauthorized use of the political label it made famous. If there are going to be Covid Nazis, they’re gonna be in Deutschland, dammit! So the government decided to put anyone who repeatedly violates Covid quarantine in…concentration camps.

Top that, Gavin Newsom.

German officials are being forced to convert refugee camps into the new network of Covid detention facilities, because all the really good camps are currently filled with tourists taking photos and Jews making documentaries. It’s a lesson that every oppressive regime needs to learn: Don’t turn your best concentration camps into museums; you never know when they might be needed again.

That German officials have no problem with putting quarantine violators in camps is a testament to the German trait of cold, unemotional practicality and efficiency. And that other German trait of having no sense of humor. In fact, German newspapers appear to be the only ones in the entire world that don’t find the Kovid Kamps darkly amusing.

One problem facing the Germans as they prepare to evacuate quarantine violators to the East is the absence of highly trained commandants skilled in the art of administering such facilities. Many of these professionals appear to have personnel files that abruptly end around 1945. Another issue is overcrowding. With the possibility of potentially hundreds of thousands of incoming inmates, current refugee camps might not provide enough space.

That said, word has it that there’s some very nice camp real estate in Poland.

What harm could possibly come from making a play for it?

DRUM RAPER INSTINCT
Last week’s Martin Luther King Jr. Day was not necessarily the most joyous in the 21 years since the holiday was first officially observed by all states (and the 38 years since President Reagan signed the holiday into law). With so many millions of Americans locked down due to the pandemic, or unemployed due to the lockdowns, what’s the value of a three-day weekend?

Still, people in the U.S. might want to start appreciating the holiday a bit more over the next few years…because it just might have an expiration date of 2027. That’s the year the “rape tape” is due to be released to the public.

On Jan. 5, 1964, FBI agents, as part of an organized campaign of surveillance and harassment of MLK, recorded something exceptionally unpleasant in a Washington, D.C., hotel room. King had been summoned by Baltimore preacher Logan Kearse to the Willard Hotel. There, Pastor Kearse raped a woman after she resisted his advances, as King (in the words of an FBI agent who summarized the recording for his bosses) “looked on, laughed and offered advise [sic].”

Sometimes a guy needs the kind of advice Dear Abby just can’t provide.

The audiotape of the incident totally exists. However, in 1977 a federal judge ordered it sealed for fifty years, because Jimmy Carter wanted to make sure he was long dead before that $#@! got out (jokes on you, Jimmy—you may actually still be alive in 2027, you rabbit-killing Methuselah).

So, in six years, the nation will likely hear the dulcet sounds of MLK cheering a rape…unless Kamala Harris uses her newfound status to discreetly replace the tape with an old Tupac recording (it’s not that Harris is disturbed by MLK’s role in a rape; it’s more that she’s outraged that a woman would resist the opportunity to sleep with an influential man).

The ticking clock on the release of the rape tape was not lost on filmmaker Sam Pollard, whose new documentary film MLK/FBI opened last week to coincide with the holiday. Pollard’s movie details the FBI’s clandestine war against the civil rights leader. And while the film roundly—and justifiably—condemns J. Edgar Hoover’s less-than-honorable tactics against King, when the topic of the rape recording comes up—and kudos to Pollard for at least bringing it up—the filmmaker runs a rather ineffective interference, claiming that the FBI agent’s notes “might” be misleading, and to give credence to the accusations without “hard evidence” would be to assist the FBI in “sullying” King’s memory.

Pollard has exactly six more years until he’ll have to come up with a better defense. Ditto the media. In their reviews of Pollard’s film, The Atlantic, the AP, and NPR avoided mentioning the rape accusation entirely. Yahoo News mentioned it, but purposely distorted the charge, claiming that MLK “witnessed a rape and didn’t intervene to stop it” (no mention of the “looking on, laughing, and offering advice” part). Sky News preemptively declared “pictures or it didn’t happen,” stating that since the “proof” will be “audio only,” it can’t be accepted as proof at all (an optimistic take…“rape advice” will likely be pretty damning audio).

Knowing that a significant number of his readers lack functioning frontal lobes, The Guardian’s Peter Bradshaw wrote, “There was even a suggestion that King was present at a rape. But wait. Where is the proof here?”

In the National Archives, mate. For six more years.

The big question is, when the tape is finally released, and if it lives up to the FBI’s description, will MLK be canceled? An ironic possibility: With leftist American blacks becoming increasingly violent and radicalized, and with the GOP increasingly catering to “moderate” blacks, 2027 may produce the spectacle of leftist blacks damning MLK as an Uncle Tom and joining with feminists to cancel him, while establishment conservatives defend him as a flawed but honorable man.

As always, the GOP will lose that fight (the GOP loses all racial battles; that’s just a law of the universe), but as a consolation prize, if states begin to cease celebrating MLK’s birth, conservatives could fill the vacuum by appropriating January 15th for an even worse human being who was born on that date—Ben Shapiro.

NIGGARDLY CHEESE
Sometimes a name is just a name, and sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes calling out a name that sounds rude or racist or funny will make you a hero, and sometimes it’ll land you in a big pile of dick-$#@!.

Back in 2010, popular New Zealand radio and TV host Paul Henry lost his job for having a bit of fun with the name of an Indian government official, Delhi Chief Minister Sheila Dik$#@!. Henry found the name rather humorous, ad-libbing on air that it “is so appropriate, because she’s Indian, so she’d be dick-in-$#@! wouldn’t she, do you know what I mean? Walking along the street… It’s just so funny.”

Well, it wasn’t funny to the government of India (which lodged an official complaint), the government of New Zealand (which promptly apologized), Henry’s TV station (which was fined by the government), and Henry himself (who apologized and resigned).

The message? Just because a name sounds like something else doesn’t mean it is something else. During the Dik$#@! row, rueful New Zealanders even tried to make amends by pronouncing the name “dixit” or “diggs-it,” but the woman herself made clear that yes, it’s pronounced “dick-$#@!,” and pronounced so with pride (for all anyone knows, somewhere in Hindu lore there’s a sacred ten-armed bright blue bison/gibbon/mollusk deity called Shankar Dik$#@!).

The point was, respect people’s names even if they sound funny to you. A human being’s name is not what you mistakenly take it for. If there’s one right that’s sacrosanct, it’s the right to not have to give up your name just because it coincidentally and randomly sounds like something else.

Oh wait, those rules only apply to the names of nonwhites. For whites, the rules are different.

For whites, if people of color don’t like your name, or if they think your name means something it doesn’t, your name gotta go!

Edward William Coon was a Philadelphia cheese-maker at the turn of the 20th century. In the 1920s he patented a bunch of new cheese-making techniques that eventually led to the processed crap everyone “loves” from Kraft (where Coon and his patents ended up finding a home).

Okay, hate the guy for that. Hate him for sliced American cheese.

But his name? Coon’s an old, old surname that long predates the use of the word as a racial epithet (which dates from around the 1830s). Just don’t tell that to Australian leftists! A long-running campaign finally reached its conclusion last week, as an Australian cheese known as Coon Cheese (originally marketed by Kraft, now sold in Australia by Canadian dairy company Saputo) was forced by pressure from a few very bored leftists to abandon its moniker.

Because the human surname Coon, which is not an epithet, sounds like an epithet, nothing Edward Coon did will be allowed to bear his name. From now on, the cheese will be called Cheer Cheese, although a more appropriate name might be something French, considering the speed with which Saputo surrendered.

Australian aborigine activist Stephen Hagan, who led the campaign against the cheese, published an entire book last month about why the name Coon Cheese should be changed (in the aboriginal Kullili tongue, “Hagan” means “man who wastes his time and ours”). Hagan announced last week that he is suing Saputo for $2.1 million in damages for making him write that book.

Well, that’ll quell those racist notions about aborigines not being bright.

As New Zealanders learn to enjoy their Cheer Cheese, one hopes that the attentions of busybodies like Hagan never find their way to American shores…especially Winter Haven, Fla., location of a funeral home and cremation facility known as Crisp-Coon.

Word has it they cremate whites, too.

WALLOONATICS WILL LOON
Even under the best of circumstances, African immigrants and “refugees” are rarely grateful to the Western nations that take them in. Whether the Northern Africans who worship Muhammad or the Western Africans who worship magical dung beetles and logs, inviting hordes of Africans into your nice, tidy European nation is a recipe for disaster.

Even under the best of circumstances.

Now, under the worst of circumstances, things get even dicier. Like, for example, if your “nice tidy European nation” was once ruled by the dude whose actions in Africa led to the coining of the term “crimes against humanity.” Old King Leopold was a genocidal old soul, and a genocidal old soul was he. The Belgian monarch ran the Congo as his own personal goody bag, and his hunger for rubber, gold, and ivory was matched only by his craving for 200-foot-tall mountains of severed African heads.

His administration of the Congo led to millions of African deaths, and even more maimings; he had a thing for cutting off African hands. Once, when asked by a reporter for Het Laatste Nieuws why he was so fond of lopping off limbs, the king merely smiled and said, “I dunno…I’m stumped!” (that guy was a real cutup).

If black people have proved one thing since the end of U.S. Jim Crow and European colonial adventurism, it’s that they have long $#@!ing memories. Blacks never forget a slight…from a white. So maybe it wasn’t such a good idea for Belgium to spend the past few decades opening its doors to every African who knocked (and those who climbed through the window unannounced).

Almost 25% of Belgium’s population is foreign-born, and Congolese make up an especially large segment of those non-natives. In recent months, Belgian cops have had a difficult time enforcing the nation’s Covid regulations in the African immigrant community. No matter where they’re from, blacks love them a good BBQ backyard party, and last week, when Brussels police tried to break up such a gathering, the celebrants responded with whatever is Kikongo for “Oh no you dih-int!”

In the resulting melee, a 23-year-old black man named Ibrahima Barrie was arrested. He later suffered a medical emergency while in custody and died (likely because he was forced to eat the bad prison potato salad instead of the guuuud stuff at the BBQ…oh, and also he had a $#@!-ton of ecstasy on him).

So of course African immigrants took to the streets to riot. It was then that Belgian King Philippe decided to have his driver take him through the riot zone as a shortcut to the palace.

A fine decision no doubt prompted by centuries of inbreeding.

Upon seeing the king’s BMW literally drive right into their def anarchy jam, the rioters began kicking the living crap out of the vehicle, pelting it with stones and other projectiles, and trying to force it off the road.

For some reason, this descendant of Leopold didn’t see it coming.

The king’s security detail soon surrounded the royal car and escorted it to safety, as the rioters paused briefly from their rampage to perform a ten-minute stand-up set riffing on what had just occurred (“White people, amirite? A BLACK king woulda been like, ‘Get outta my way, niggas!’ But a WHITE king be like, ‘Oh my, would you please let me through? I’m late for my tea and toast.’ What up wit’ that?”).

The king was unhurt, other than the brain damage he was already saddled with from birth.

Belgian authorities have promised a three-tiered investigation into the cause of Barrie’s death, the resulting riots, and how they managed to get Peter Sellers from Being There as a monarch.

YANKING DOODLE DANDY
Conservatives have long had “eccentric envy.” From the 1960s counterculture days (when you could tell a man’s politics by his haircut and clothes) through the preppy Reagan years, there have always been folks on the right who wish they could, well, cut loose a bit and be as colorful and eccentric as their leftist counterparts.

The Trump era, and the alt-rightists who helped define it, finally provided that long-sought-after injection of wackiness. Whether Milo Yiannopoulos prancing about with naked black men as he boasts of his fondness for their lengthy members, or LARPing Roman saluters and tiki-torch carriers, or the QAnon dude in the buffalo horns and face paint at the Capitol, the alt-right helped the old right break out of its boring crewcut rut.

Whether this new acceptance of eccentricity helped or harmed the cause is, well, an open question. Open as in “Did it harm the cause?” or “Did it really really really harm the cause?”

Which is why it’s probably best to show a modicum of restraint regarding Erik Estavillo.

Estavillo is the San Jose, Calif.-born “patriot” who’s suing Twitter and Democrat Reps Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Ilhan Omar over Trump’s Twitter ban. Estavillo, a self-described clinically depressed agoraphobic with OCD and Crohn’s disease, filed the $88.7 million lawsuit because as someone who is housebound, as someone who depends on social media to learn about world events and interact with other human beings, to be deprived of the ability to see the (then) president’s tweets caused him “overbearing pain and suffering.” After all, Estavillo reasoned, if Trump (as president) couldn’t block Twitter users (as a federal appeals court ruled in 2019), then Twitter can’t block Trump.

Reddit’s r/conservative group (649K members) initially hailed Estavillo as a First Amendment hero! A real fighter for the red white ’n’ blue! A bunch of rightist sites joined the chorus. MAGA had a new idol. As one r/conservative Redditor declared, “This is gonna get interesting… If this guy isn’t a loonie, it should make it way to the us supreme court.”

But guess what? The guy’s a loony.

Erik Estavillo first came to (minor) fame for suing various videogame and software companies for banning him from online play due to his harassment of other players (dude actually wrote a book about that). Then he sued Twitch because he claimed that all the purdy young women on the platform were forcing him to masturbate compulsively, damaging his dirlywanger. He sued not just Twitch, but every individual female user he’d ever pleasured himself to (his suit claimed that one young Twitcher made him, um, climax so heartily that his ejaculate landed on some wiring and shorted out his apartment’s power).

But the icing on the cake is that he once tried to subpoena Internet star/troll/porn girl Belle Delphine for one of his lawsuits, claiming that based on her videos, he tried to eat out his own ass, and as a result he strained his back so badly that he was forced to wear a brace for two months.

Frankly, rightists need to demand that their new heroes do more than just try to eat their own asses. Failure must not be an option. Hell, if George Will can do it, anyone can.

On a related note, perhaps rightists should knock it off with the eccentrics for a while.

[Anti Federalist]

The Week That Perished

https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-124/

Takimag

January 31, 2021

The Week’s Most Velocious, Ferocious, and Braggadocious Headlines

PRAISE RHESUS FOR A BOUNTIFUL HARVEST!

Not every country is lucky enough to be situated next door to Mexico. Indeed, illegal immigration would be far less of a problem in the U.S. if not for the marriage made in heaven of an agriculturally fertile nation with stuff that needs to be picked and an impoverished nation filled with exceptionally skilled pickers. Mexico may not have produced many Nobel Prize winners, astronauts, or disease-curing scientists, but hot damn when it comes to yanking a thing off another thing, Mexicans are undeniably the best.

Unfortunately for the people of Thailand, Mexicans would have to get their backs very wet to travel there for fieldwork. And sure, India lies right across the Bay of Bengal, but those laborers are only good for fertilization.

Speaking of which, India is one of the largest importers of coconuts in the world. Indians consume more than 12 million tons of coconuts a year. Considering that coconuts act as a laxative, one might question the wisdom of such mass consumption in a nation with no toilets. On the supply side, Thailand is the world’s No. 2 exporter of Gilligan fruit, second only to Indonesia (Thailand exports over 70,000 tons of coconuts a year). As a nation with a pedophile-based economy, it’s important for Thailand to stay competitive in the coconut game, especially with Jeffrey Epstein no longer pumping cash into the treasury.

Deprived of Mexicans, the Thais have been using monkeys to do the coconut picking. This has been going on for decades, but most Americans only became aware of the practice last week, when, following an exposé by PETA, shopping giants Wegmans, Costco, Food Lion, Stop & Shop, and Target agreed to stop carrying coconut products made by the Thai company Chaokoh—a leader in the field of monkey pickers.

The process of creating monkey farmhands is fascinating if not necessarily humane. Captive monkeys are trained from infancy to recognize a ripe coconut from an unripe one. Then they’re forced for days on end to learn how to “spin” a coconut (lacking the hand size to pluck one, monkeys need to spin it to twist it off at the stem). They’re then put through ground-level obstacle courses to time their ability to detach ripe coconuts hanging from ropes. The monkeys that graduate with honors not only become pros, but find themselves possessing more useful skills than the average University of California grad.

The lucky monkeys are then shackled to long chains and sent up into trees to do the work for real.

Chaokoh had previously pledged to abandon simian slavery, but an undercover PETA investigation revealed that whenever international monkey rights auditors showed up, the company would dress the furry little laborers in bonnets and dresses, stick them in prams, and pass them off as very ugly children.

PETA’s call for a boycott is getting pushback from Thai coconut growers, who point out that monkeys have no fear of heights, so using them in the tall trees reduces the risk of human injury (Thai men are very mindful of their own health and well-being, as evidenced by the nation’s insanely high cigarette consumption rate). Thai coconut growers claim that they treat the monkeys as family, which, grading on a curve, is a somewhat benign conceit in a nation with so much child buggering.
Read More

PETA, comprised as it is of leftists who want to flood the U.S. with illegal human pickers who can be abused and exploited in the worst possible conditions for the least possible pay, has pledged to pursue a ban on all Thai coconut products that come to your table straight from a monkey’s paw.

As for the monkeys, no word on whether they plan to unionize. While monkey trade unions don’t have a great success record, at the very least the meetings consist of far less poo-flinging than those held by SAG/AFTRA.

DIFF’RENT CROAKS

Hollywood loves interracial adoption. More often than not, the stories that make it to the big or small screen tell the tale of a loving white family that gets really, really lucky with their adopted black child, who, bolstered by the kind of support one only finds outside da ghetto, becomes a football star, a music icon, or a malformed catchphrase generator hooked to a dialysis machine.

There’ve been transracial adoption films that reverse the races, but those parents are rarely as fortunate (“Do all white boys age backwards, or just ours?”).

Still, the movie messaging on transracial adoption is uniformly positive.

The real-life messaging, not so much.

Remember Jennifer and Sarah Hart? They were the white lesbians who decided that being lesbian just wasn’t woke enough (these days, lesbianism is about as shocking as a nose ring). So they adopted six black kids (two sets of three siblings), because that’s the way to get Facebook likes! And indeed, the Harts practically lived on social media, with the proud moms posting daily about how brave and anti-racist they were to be raising the children of crackheads and felons.

Online, the Hart family was perfect. In real life, “my two mommies” were beating, starving, and torturing the children for fun. When neighbors reported the parents to CPS in March 2018 (and not for the first time), Jenn and Sarah piled the kids into the ol’ SUV and drove everyone off a cliff into the Pacific Ocean.

It was the Brady Bunch series finale if directed by David Cronenberg.

Last week, America saw the rebooted “Hart Bunch” with an urban twist. Sassy black mama Ariel Robinson took home the grand prize in last year’s season of the Food Network show Worst Cooks in America. Turns out being a terrible cook is the best thing that can be said about this water buffalo, who (also last year) adopted three white kids (two boys and a girl) to supplement the two biological children she and her husband already had.

Like the Harts, Robinson lived on social media, posting endlessly about how her “white children” have “white privilege,” and how she was the great racial equalizer in her family, making sure that her ofay devil kids learned to be “equal” to her black ones.

The similarities to the Hart case are striking, especially the fixation on hair (the Harts constantly posted about messing with their black kids’ hair, and Robinson obsessively posted about blackifying her white daughter’s hair). And the parallels don’t end there. Last week, Robinson and her husband were arrested for beating their little white girl to death. She was only 3 years old.

If there’s a lesson here, it might be that anybody, black or white, who sees a transracial adopted child as a trophy, as a means to flaunt wokeness and win social media influencer points, should never be allowed to adopt. Frankly, it’s probably a sound idea to mandate that if transracial adoptions are to happen at all, the parents should be banned from posting about it. A policy like that, which would quickly weed out the unbalanced, ideologically driven, attention-seeking homicidal lunatics, might just be the one social media ban that all good people could get behind.

THE EMPRESS JONES

If that last story was slightly depressing, this one should lighten the mood. Indeed, this is almost certainly the feel-good story of the month.

Kristen Gray has the kind of face you see in TV commercials when some hack producer is trying to convey “black pride.” Young woman, mocha skin, wildly natural nappy-ass hair, and a resting look of “I’m a proud black woman, behold my pride” permanently stamped across her smug kisser. Gray is lesbian, too, which means she’s exactly the kind of person who’d be featured in one of those “social justice” commercials for a product that has no need for it…the young, semi-attractive black lesbian buying a box of Cheez-It because dammit if Cheez-It stands for anything it’s social justice.

Gray blogs about her travels around the world, and her favorite thing to do is brag about how “countries of color” are so much better, so much more tolerant, than racist AmeriKKKa.

On Jan. 16, Gray posted a series of tweets about her yearlong stay in Bali. The crux of her tweetstorm was, Bali is a paradise for black Americans who want to live like the kings and queens they were before the white man stole them from Wakanda. Gray boasted of her lavish lifestyle, attainable only because of Bali’s Third World economy, which allows an average American to live quite comfortably. She invited other black Americans to join her, with the promise that “black Bali” was fast becoming the nation’s moneyed elite. She even gave instructions on how to skirt Indonesia’s Covid travel restrictions.

Gray went so far as to offer an e-book ($30) that touted the joys of “being Black in Bali,” emphasizing the “safety, low cost of living, luxury lifestyle, and ***** friendly” environment (for $50 she gave personal consultations on how to make the move to Wakanda’s new Asian colony).

Sadly, Gray forgot one rather important lesson: That “I’m untouchable because I’m a proud black lesbian with a natural ’fro” routine doesn’t mean $#@! to Indonesians.

Her tweets spread like wildfire among Bali natives, who accused her of being a “gentrifier” and a “colonizer” and, best of all, privileged! Yes, Ms. Oppressed Black American was now being hit with every charge she’d previously lobbed at whites.

Gray, displaying the lack of introspection and self-awareness that is damn-near inborn in American blacks these days, responded to the criticism by (can you guess?) calling the Balinese “racists!” And the Balinese government responded by hauling her and her equally nappy girlfriend into detention, slapping Covid masks on ’em, and putting their proud black asses on the next flight back to the U.S.

Before departing Bali, Gray released a statement claiming that she was the victim of antigay prejudice, and that she was only being deported because of her race and sexual orientation. Because God forbid a black American should gain perspective about how the concept of “privilege” is subjective and transitory, and how notions of “colonizer,” “exploiter,” and “gentrifier” are not bound by the definitions of The New York Times.

Following her forced departure, Balinese Twitterers and Instagrammers ridiculed Gray for her unsuccessful attempt to use the “race card” and “LGBT card” to prevent her deportation.

And now poor Kristen Gray is back in Los Angeles, no longer living like a queen in a lush tropical jungle, exiled from paradise by the savages and peons who should’ve worshiped her skin color and sexual predilection. Roaming the streets like an average schmo, she’s forced to return to her previous life of picking apart everything straight white males do as “racist” and “homophobic,” ruing her fate as a captive in Nazi America, living better than 90% of the world but acting as though she’s Jean Valjean trapped between the walls of le Bagne de Toulon.

It’s a tragic ending, both for Gray and the millions of Americans who don’t mind the idea of sticking disgruntled blacks on a Third World island and abandoning them to rule the jungle like designer-clothed Tarzans.

Bali’s out, but perhaps Madagascar might be persuaded to pick up the slack.

THE NITTY GRITTY DIRT BANNED

In ancient times—like, twenty years ago—“racist” words were fairly easy to identify. Because they were racist words. And, being easily identified, they were successfully banned from the public square, which left black activists and “woke” whites looking for new targets.

If your blogging career at Mic or Ebony or Salon depends on hounding whites who say “niggger,” you’re just not gonna fill your daily quota of expository vomit (especially if Quentin Tarantino is off-limits for criticism).

Soon enough, leftist word cops were forced to go after words that sound like racist words. Niggardly fell quickly, as did the poor overeducated bastards foolish enough to use the word in daily life. Next to go was the Mandarin “stammer word” (as in the English “uh, um, er”) nèi ge, which, when pronounced properly, sounds like “nee-ga.” A USC professor lost his classroom over that one. Chink in the armor, spick-and-span, spook, nip, and coon soon followed.

Before long, illiterate Huffington Post hacks ran out of those kinds of words, too. So it was time to go after words that, while neither racist nor racist-sounding, have racist origins! From Cracked to BuzzFeed, from Upworthy to CNN, it was all-out war on words like cakewalk, master bedroom, blacklist, freeholder, hysterical (misogynist!), grandfathered, blackballed, gypped, and phrases like hip hip hooray (anti-Semitic!), sold down the river, no can do, and long time no see.

Sure, the woke literati couldn’t agree on the supposedly racist origins of those phrases (Upworthy claimed that “peanut gallery” is racist because “the nickname ‘peanut’ was given due to the fact that peanuts were introduced to America at the same time as the slave trade. Because of this, there was a connection drawn between black people and peanuts,” while CNN claimed that it’s racist because “the term dates back to the vaudeville era of the late 19th century and referred to the sections of the theater where Black people typically sat”), but who cares about accuracy when white people are using words!

But even the worst diarrhea eventually peters out, and in time, once every leftist site on the ’net had done its “racist word origins” piece, it looked like there might be no more mountains to ban.

Oh ye of little faith! The newest craze is to ban words that are falsely rumored to have racist origins. Last year, The Today show told its viewers to stop referring to chocolate sprinkles as “jimmies,” because the primarily East Coast term for little brown sprinkles comes from “Jim Crow.” That this is a patently false claim matters not. Even imaginary racism must be extirpated! Two months ago, the University of Michigan banned the word “picnic” because the word was originally used for the outdoor lunches that would accompany lynchings. “Pick a niggger” (to lynch) simply got shortened to “picnic” over time.

Even leftist sources like Snopes, PolitiFact, and Reuters agree that this is a 100% fake origin story (the word derives from the French piquer and nique), but it’s not like U Michigan has any responsibility to teach facts or anything.

And last summer, the BBC ordered its on-air talent to stop saying “nitty-gritty” because the term “is thought to refer to the detritus found in the bottom of transatlantic slave ships.”

Except no, it doesn’t. Someone at the BBC just made that $#@! up. And last week, after BBC political editor Laura Kuenssberg was slammed for using the term during a Brexit podcast, new BBC Director-General Tim Davie did the unthinkable—actual research—and, after determining that the “racist origin” story was pure bollocks, he revoked the ban.

One small victory across the Atlantic. Heaven help Salon and Vox if such sanity spreads here.

MAYOR OF SIMPLETON

Portland mayor Ted Wheeler represents a new kind of American Democrat—the kind nobody likes (and that includes Democrats), but who keeps winning because voters fear what might replace him. L.A. mayor Garcetti is like that. No one has anything good to say about the man except that at least he’s not a George Soros-backed “black power” lunatic who advocates the complete dissolution of the police department (Garcetti merely advocates budget cuts, which is center-right on the current Democrat curve).

In November, Wheeler became the first Portland mayor in two decades to win a second term. Not because anyone cares for him—the city’s Antifa thugs consider him too “right-wing” because he doesn’t let them murder at will, and the city’s decent working folks view him as a weakling who allowed downtown to be turned into a permanent riot zone. But Wheeler’s opponent last November, Sarah Iannarone, was a literal murderous communist. This is a woman who’s proud of the fact that in 2016 she cast a ballot that was comprised of the following write-in candidates: Ho Chi Minh, Joseph Stalin, Mao Zedong, Che Guevara, Fidel Castro, and Vladimir Lenin. Iannarone launched her 2020 campaign by declaring “I am ANTIFA!” while wearing a skirt featuring the faces of Stalin, Guevara, and Mao.

Faced with the choice between an ineffectual weakling and a violence-endorsing would-be genocidal maniac, Portlanders stuck with Wheeler. And Wheeler is stuck with Portland, a city that basically only chose him because the alternative was Betty Beria.

Antifa and BLM terrorists have resumed their nightly riots, smashing the Oregon Democratic Party headquarters, an ICE facility, and other buildings in Portland’s downtown. First responders were attacked, and residents who’d hoped that a Biden win would mean they could venture outside again at night realized that besiegement is to be their “new normal” for the foreseeable future.

Ordinary Portlanders who are pissed off about Covid restrictions on local businesses are equally unhappy with Mr. Lesser Evil. Last week, as Wheeler was dining maskless, a local attorney decided to record yet another example of a Democrat Covid lockdowner violating his own regulations. As the mayor was leaving McMenamins Pub, the lawyer—Cary Cadonau—approached and heckled Wheeler for eating indoors with no mask. The mayor responded by invoking that odd bit of lockdowner logic that because he’d been eating in a structure that had been built outside the restaurant, it qualifies as “outdoor dining” because a building isn’t a building if it was built around outdoor seating.

Like Wonder Woman’s plane, yes there are walls but you’re not supposed to see them. In architecture, this is called a “Harvey Rabbit” structure.

When the disgruntled Cadonau refused to back off, and when the mayor judged that the man was closer than six feet away, he pepper sprayed his constituent, because in Portland that “six feet of distance” thing applies only to mayors, not store owners and residents who deal with nightly violations of their personal space.

Needless to say, Antifa drubbed Wheeler for using pepper spray, calling him a fascist who demands protection for himself while leaving poor, defenseless rioters at the mercy of cops who don’t let them enter private residences to murder people. And the right (or what passes for it in Portland) condemned Wheeler for his hypocrisy in demanding his own “safe space” while depriving downtown residents of the right to have theirs.

Funny enough, Cadonau has since apologized to Wheeler, most likely due to the realization that in a town as hopeless as Portland, with a mayor who’s only mayor because the alternative is literal death by Stasi, residents might as well let the poor bastard have a night out at the invisible pub, where he can try to forget, if only for a few hours, just how $#@!ed he actually is.

[Anti Federalist]

The Week That Perished

https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-125/

Takimag

February 07, 2021
The Week That Perished
photo credit: Bigstock

The Week’s Most Leveled, Bedeviled, and Disheveled Headlines

ACRONYMS ARE ANTI-BLACKRONYMS
WTF OMG SMH. It’s only February and already the people who do the stuff that makes you say, “It can’t get any stupider than this” have gone and done something stupider than this. Yes, the leftist guardians of social justice and racial “equity” (get used to that word; it’s gonna be drilled into your skull like an orbitoclast for the next four years) have decided that, in their never-ending quest to label non-racist things as racist, acronyms are now the product of “white supremacy.”

Like so many plagues, this one started in that storied California town where the streets are paved with poo—San Francisco. Last week the San Francisco Unified School District declared that its arts department, VAPA (Visual and Performing Arts), must no longer be known by that acronym, because acronyms are “racist.”

According to Sam Bass, director of the arts department formerly known as VAPA, “The use of so many acronyms within the educational field often tends to alienate those who may not speak English to understand the acronym.” Bass was then asked why that makes acronyms “racist,” as there are plenty of white people in the world who don’t speak English. But sadly, before he could reply, he slipped on a transient’s droppings and impaled himself on a pile of AIDS needles.

AIDS, by the way, is an acronym. So AIDS is racist. But KKK is not. Like NSDAP, KKK is an “initialism,” which is not racist (it’s an initialism if the letters are pronounced individually, but an acronym if they are spoken as one word). GLAAD is an acronym. Hence, gay people are racist. MALDEF, the name of the largest Latino advocacy group in the U.S., is also an acronym, which is odd if acronyms are anti-immigrant. It’s almost as if those San Francisco “educators” are just making this nonsense up as they go along.

Spoiler alert: They are. Bass told the New York Post that the decision to abandon acronyms was based on the findings of a 1999 “paper” by “anti-Zionist Jew” Tema Okun of the Israeli Committee Against House Demolitions (it’s okay—PLO is not an acronym). However, Okun’s “paper” doesn’t mention acronyms at all. The things she does mention as the most racist evils since Hitler wore blackface include “perfectionism,” “a sense of urgency” (like what Democrats always invoke for why this or that climate-change or social-justice policy must pass immediately), “worship of the written word,” “with us or against us thinking” (like the kind of ideological “purity tests” being used by Democrats against “election deniers”), “individualism,” “objectivity,” and “the right to comfort” (because heaven knows leftists of color never demand “safe spaces” where they can exercise their “right to comfort”).

“Understand that discomfort is at the root of all growth and learning,” Okun declared in her paper.

Seems like a perfectly good argument for demolishing the houses of Palestinians, then. All that discomfort will surely aid their growth and learning.

Sam Bass was unable to explain why he cited the Okun paper as the source of his anti-acronym crusade, when the Okun paper doesn’t mention acronyms. But to any objective (racist) individuals (racist) reading these written words (racist), one final acronym seems unavoidable when describing the sad state of San Francisco today: FUBAR.

LUNATIC INADVERTENTLY PROVES HIMSELF RIGHT
The innocent wisdom of a child is nothing compared with the mentally dissociative wisdom of the paranoid schizo. Steven Brandenburg is the Wisconsin ex-pharmacist who purposely destroyed hundreds of doses of the Moderna Covid vaccine last December. Brandenburg worked as the overnight pharmacist at the Advocate Aurora Health Hospital, and the day before Christmas, he intentionally left over 570 vaccine doses at room temperature to spoil (either that, or he was trying to get in good with Santa by leaving free vaccinations instead of cookies).

Several patients ended up receiving those spoiled doses.

Turns out pharmacist Brandenburg is, as they say, a few caplets short of a refill. Dude’s no generic-brand OTC nutcase; he’s as daffy as they come. After initially trying to chalk the destruction of the vaccines to innocent error, now—in advance of a Feb. 9 court hearing—the cuckoo chemist has admitted that he destroyed the doses on purpose, for reasons that seem like the product of a man in need of meds, rather than one who should be dispensing them. Brandenburg told investigators that he believes the vaccine alters the DNA of those who take it. He also claims the vaccine will implant recipients with a microchip. And it’ll make people infertile, too (probably for the best, as who knows what kind of mutant babies would result from all that reconfigured DNA?).

However (in Peter Griffin voice), “you think that’s bad,” Brandenburg’s just gettin’ warmed up. He also believes that the world is flat, and the sky is just “a shield put up by the government to prevent individuals from seeing God.”

FactCheck: Most theologians agree that God would not allow his presence to be concealed by a sky shield. Plus, according to Elon Musk, sky shield technology is still several years away from reaching a Deity-proof level of security. We therefore rate this claim false.

According to friends and family, Brandenburg has been into “conspiracy theories” for nearly a decade. And apparently last June his wife finally had enough of his bunkum, filing for divorce and essentially telling him to hit the road and keep on walkin’ till he finds the $#@!ing curvature. She last saw him on Dec. 6, when he forced her to accept a bunch of “prepper” supplies because apparently the sky shield was about to fall (all hail the prophet Chicken Little).
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The inadvertently funny part of this story is, without meaning to, Brandenburg ended up proving his point about the dangers of vaccines (and other meds), just not in the way he intended. By all accounts, Brandenburg had reached the position of hospital pharmacist with flying colors, acing all exams and becoming licensed like anyone else in his field. Yet he’s clearly insane. A reminder that the people we trust with potentially life-or-death matters of medicine are every bit as fallible as the rest of us. All the more reason that the concept, so popular in the Covid era, of “trusting thee science” should be met with skepticism when it’s misused to mean “trust thee scientists.”

A doctor or a scientist can be just as batty as a 7-Eleven bum. But a 7-Eleven bum can’t inject you with an intentionally expired vaccine dose.

“Trust but verify” worked for Ronald Reagan, and it’s a damn good guiding principle for dealing with matters of healthcare, too.
“A doctor or a scientist can be just as batty as a 7-Eleven bum. But a 7-Eleven bum can’t inject you with an intentionally expired vaccine dose.”

Reserve your faith for your relationship with the Almighty…that is, if you can see Him beyond the sky shield.

NAPOLI TURNS TO CRAPOLI
Remember the good old days when Italian Mafia families were comprised of nice guys who cared about the community and only harmed them mugs wot had it coming? Well, those were the “good old days” in movies, at least, when godfathers cared about the old neighborhood and never refused a favor on this, the day of their daughter’s wedding. And if they put horse heads under the odd sheet here or there, it was only because a pedo film director had it coming.

How times have changed! The Italian Campania region is under the viselike control of the Camorra crime family, and let’s just say that the Camorra are not exactly the Corleones. Along with drug selling and various protection rackets, the Camorra made their mint by cornering the toxic waste disposal industry in and around Naples, creating what has become known as the “Triangle of Death,” an area 25 kilometers outside Naples that’s essentially one giant cancer-causing illegal toxic waste dump. When that area reached capacity, the Camorra got creative, hiding toxic waste in parks, ditches, backyards, ravines, and caves. It’s believed that the Camorra crime family has illegally disposed of over 10 million tons of industrial waste; cancer in Camorra-controlled territory is a good 40 to 47% higher than elsewhere in Italy.

It seems only natural that a Mafia clan that profits from detritus would eventually turn its attention to Third World refugees. The Camorra have “worked with” (as in, “tendered unrefusable offers to”) Napoli officials to make the city a safe harbor for African migrants, who are then employed in the sex trade (the females) or the drug trade (the males).

In January 2019, when Naples mayor Luigi de Magistris made a huge deal out of proclaiming his city a haven for African refugees, the world press was kind enough not to mention the Camorra goons pressing a gun to his back.

According to The Guardian, the Camorra traffic in human toxic waste has turned the Castel Volturno municipality outside Naples into a “war zone like Beirut” with “the highest murder rates in the country.”

And now the Camorra family is making a new demand of the Napoli natives: No more sirens on emergency vehicles. According to The Sunday Times, “Ambulance drivers in Naples are demanding police protection after the local mafia ordered them not to use their sirens and flashing lights because they disturbed drug-pushers.” Apparently, the sirens and lights scare off the druggies and johns, robbing the pushers and pimps of customers.

Napoli ambulance drivers also report being assaulted by family members who become angry when a loved one dies before the ambulance arrives.

So it’s kind of a lose-lose; use the siren and get there quick, the Mafia beats you up. Turn off the siren and get there slow, the family beats you up.

This is what happens when you let Fredo run the town. Between the homegrown criminals and the immigrant wretches, Naples is a city where sleeping with the fishes is fast becoming an attractive option compared with living in a Mafia-run Third World toxic waste war zone.

THE GIRL WHO CRIED WOLFOWITZ
Misha Defonseca had a story that was too good to be true, a story so harrowing, so unbelievable, so ultimately redemptive and hopeful, those who heard it came away positively transformed. When she was but a child of 7 tender years—a Jewish girl in occupied Belgium—the brutish Nazis deported her parents to a death camp. But little Misha got away…barely. Escaping into some nearby woods, with no survival skills, all looked lost. But then a pack of wolves adopted her as one of their own, teaching her how to hunt, forage, and stay warm, and providing her with remedial classes in basic math and a small amount of beginner trig, but only at the middle-school level (they were wolves, after all).

Having been conditioned to think of herself as a canine, Misha survived the war and went on to live a normal postwar life, if one doesn’t count the constant crotch-licking and the occasional instances of being scared awake by her own farts.

For some odd reason, Were-Misha never mentioned her lupine wartime experience until 1997, when, at age 60, she began shopping around her memoirs. Publishers never asked for any proof of her tale, and besides, Misha claimed that amnesia suffered during her ordeal had blanked out any memory of her human birth-name (she decided to go with Misha after she left the pack because her wolf-given name of “Oooowoooowl Hooooowoooo” didn’t sound Jewish enough).

Her book, Misha: A Mémoire of the Holocaust Years, was translated into twenty languages, selling millions of copies around the world. In 2007 it was adapted into a French feature film, Survivre Avec les Loups.

In 1998 Misha sued her publisher, claiming that she deserved more money than the book had earned her in royalties, because apparently the wolves never taught her basic accounting. At the trial, Misha wowed the Massachusetts jurors with four words: “Jew” “Holocaust” “survivor” “wolves.” They awarded her $7.5 million dollars. Misha then turned to the judge and angrily repeated, in a louder tone, “JEW” “HOLOCAUST” SURVIVOR” “WOLVES.”

The judge upped the damages to $23 million.

Facing bankruptcy, Misha’s ex-publisher, now on the hook for a huge amount of dough, did the thing that a more prudent and less opportunistic publisher would’ve done at the very beginning of this affair: She did some research into the story.

Turns out every square inch of Misha’s tale was a lie. She ain’t Jewish (she was born and raised Catholic); her parents were Resistance fighters until her dad was arrested by the Nazis and gave up his comrades, leading to the family becoming pariahs; and the closest she ever came to seeing a wolf was reading Little Red Riding Hood.

The publisher was able to get a court to overturn the civil suit verdict, and Misha the Wolf Woman quietly vanished into the nighttime fog.

Last week, a new documentary film about this debacle premiered at Sundance. Misha and the Wolves, which received glowing praise at the festival, is set to be released to the public on Netflix later this year.

This bodes poorly for the Simon Wiesenthal Center’s Museum of Tolerance, which is being forced to revamp its wing about Jewish children who were rescued from the Holocaust by animals. “We’ve removed the Misha exhibit,” the SWC’s Rabbi Marvin Heir told the AP, “but we stand by the testimony of Yitzak Schleimerman, who survived Auschwitz by hiding in the trees outside the camp with a family of chimps.”

The film of Schleimerman’s life, Torahzan of the Apes, is scheduled to premiere this May.

BUNGLE CRUISE
It’s been 24 years since Disney rejiggered the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at its theme parks to make the pirates less sexist (because if pirates were known for anything, it was respecting the sanctity of the female body). Last year, Disney pledged to redo its Splash Mountain attraction because some of the ride’s themes were taken from that most forbidden of Disney films, Song of the South (Peter Griffin voice part 2: “You think that’s bad, you shoulda seen that other Song of the South attraction, Haunted House Negro”).

And now the inevitable PC hammer has come for that most venerable attraction, the Jungle Cruise. Frankly, with its depiction of African native headhunters and frightened tribesmen chased up trees Dan’l Boone song-style, it’s surprising that it took this long for Disney to feel the heat.

Although a date for the Jungle Cruise “renovation” has not been set, it’s expected that it’ll occur this year at all Disney theme parks worldwide (the first Jungle Cruise opened along with the original Disneyland in 1955).

In a series of statements released by a rainbow coalition of multiracial male and female Disney execs, the company outlined its new plans for the attraction. Gone will be all of those uncomfortable animatronic figures. Instead, the role of the ship’s skipper will be expanded, in order to “tell diverse, inclusive stories” to the boat’s riders.

An official Disney press release further elucidates:

We want to make sure everybody has the best time—that guests from all over the world can connect with the stories we share and that how we bring those to life are respectful of the diverse world we live in. And when they get off the attraction, they know that we have done our homework because these are the details that matter.

So get ready, thrill-seekers! When you board the revamped Jungle Cruise ride, expect to hear “diverse, inclusive stories,” secure in the knowledge that the park “did its homework” to get the “details” right!

That’s going to be much more fun than charging hippos or water-spraying elephants.

Tour Guide: “Welcome to the Jungle Cruise adventure! My name is Mbesi, and I will be your skipper. Are you ready for fun? Good! As we embark on our journey, let me tell you the story of little Sipho and the trickster lion. Sipho, who the villagers had nicknamed Mbweha, or ‘jackal,’ wanted nothing more than to own a drum, which we call ngoma. Hawu, his sister Ngesi exclaimed one evening at a dinner of rice (or as we say, mchele) and beans (maharagwe—can you say that?), tomorrow I shall find you a suitable drum…who can remember the word for “drum”? Anyone? Yes, ngoma. Very good! Kwasuka sukela, the next day…”

Small Child: “Mom, when do we get to the animals?!”

Mom: “Any minute, honey. He’s just setting the scene.”

[30 minutes later]

Tour Guide: “…so Bhubesi the trickster lion had gathered the magic sticks, or as we say, vijiti vya uchawi, and little Sipho grew excited even as Ntemo the warthog, or as we would call him, Ntemo nguruw, warned him of Bhubesi’s nature as a scoundrel and deceiver. It was then that Ngesi arrived with the ten stones of bravery, or mawe ya ushujaa, and…”

Child (sobbing): “Where are the animals!”

Mom: “This…this can’t be the entire ride.”

[45 minutes later]

Tour Guide: “…so Sipho, recalling his nickname of Mbweha, thought to himself, what would a jackal do? Little did he know that Isante the learned owl, or bundi in my native tongue, had been watching with interest…”

Child: “Please drown me, Mom. Please, throw me overboard.”

The ride finally ends with one animatronic diorama—a faithful re-creation of the Zulu scientists who cured malaria, as they accept their Nobel Prize from genuflecting cave-dwelling white men.

Sadly, nobody on the boat sees it, all having chosen the comparative bliss of a watery death.

No refunds will be offered to any riders who survive.

[Swordsmyth]

https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-126/

The Week’s Most Teachable, Reachable, and Unimpeachable Headlines

ILL-STARRED INTERSECTIONALIST
Somebody get that sista a rabbit’s foot!

There’s bad luck, and then there’s Dr. Crystallee Crain, the urban contemporary version of Schleprock.

Last week, the Portland Tribune announced that the fair city of Antifa and perpetual riots was losing one of its finest voices in higher ed. Crain, who’d spent the past three years teaching at Portland State University’s Child and Youth Family Studies Department (she also sat on the city’s Human Rights Commission), was pulling up stakes, because racist Portlanders wouldn’t stop hate-criming her.

As the Tribune detailed, Crain’s problems started on a dark night in August 2018, when she was leaving a friend’s birthday party at a local tavern. Alone on the street, waiting for her Lyft, Crain was startled by the sight of five evil white male racists running toward her! The men were “all dressed the same, in tank tops, khaki shorts and socks,” Crain told the newspaper (today’s fashion-savvy hate criminals like to coordinate). As the racists chased her, they called her by name and chanted, “Dr. Niggerbitch” (coincidentally, that’s the title of a failed BET sitcom starring Wanda Sykes as a sassy inner-city physician).

Crain complained that racist neighbors saw the incident but failed to help. After evading her tormentors by hiding in a bush for ninety minutes, she called another Lyft and went home.

Cops could find no evidence that the incident occurred, but that’s only because they’re racist.

A year later, in July 2019, Crain was at a local pizzeria when a gang of similarly dressed evil white racist males pushed her from behind, again screaming, “Dr. Niggerbitch” (is that, like, a Portland thing?). Crain could only identify the attackers’ “white calves” (khaki shorts, remember?), but police, who studied security camera footage of the area from the night of the “crime,” again saw no evidence that it happened.

Damn racist cops!

And it doesn’t end there. Crain told social justice radio station KPFA that she’d received “bomb threats” at her previous teaching job (she referred to them as “fake bomb threats,” apparently oblivious to the extent to which that gave the game away).

Crain also revealed (as an interview subject for a 2019 book) that, back in 2016 when she was living in Oakland, racist cops forced her then husband to lie about a domestic disturbance in their home. The KKKops got the husband to falsely claim that she struck him…which Crain admits she totally did, but only in self-defense. The Nazi policemen then tormented her for hours at the station.

This chick cannot catch a break!

When PSU wouldn’t give her special protection because of her X-Men-like superpower as Hate Crime Magneto, Crain decided to leave the city for good. She told the Tribune that she’s been offered a new job at a California university, teaching on matters of equity and intersectionalism.

Good luck to that university. Crain seems like a very stable and trouble-free employee. Maybe she can be partnered in a classroom with Jussie Smollett.

A KANG GETS CROWNED
Sticking with a theme, we proceed to Placer County, Calif. (near Sacramento). Romey Kang is a UC Davis graduate (bachelor’s in biological sciences) who works for a medical weight-loss center. He also runs his own dog walking, training, and sitting business, whimsically named Romey’s Rascals.

Make a note that he walks dogs, and he trains dogs. But he does not, however, train dogs to walk. If your dog does not know how to walk, Romey’s Rascals is not the place to take it, because proper walking is not Kang’s forte.

That’ll make more sense shortly.

Last month, Romey Kang was the victim of the most horrific racist hate crime in the recorded history of the known universe (at least that’s how the papers portrayed it). He had been visiting nearby Folsom (the city, not the prison), and three (or two, or one) evil Nazi racists gave him a terrible case of the black ’n’ blues.

“Man’s Face is Broken in ‘Hate Attack’ Near Sacramento,” bellowed Yahoo News. Kang, who was found bloody and unconscious by cops on a city street, told police that as he’d been skipping merrily from a local drinking establishment, a “Caucasian man in a white shirt” beat him up for no other reason than “he didn’t like the color of my skin.”

Kang later told cops it was actually two Caucasian white-shirted racists.

Then it became three, because Nazis are shape-shifters who reproduce by fission.

Kang whined to Yahoo that “my cheekbones are broken, they have plates behind them now, my hard palate and upper teeth were separated from the rest of my skull. The doctors said it’s a miracle I didn’t have a brain injury.” He “lost most of his lower teeth,” his “nose was too broken to put plates into,” and his “jaw isn’t aligning well at all.”

The heavy drinking and the magical multiplying racists didn’t tip anyone off that the story might have holes. After all, Kang, who was oddly cagey in interviews regarding his ethnicity (he appears Indian, and Romey as a male given name, and Kang as a surname, can be Punjabi), pointed out that the attacker(s) stole nothing. So if robbery had not been the motive, what else could it have been? Sure, if he were some comically clumsy Hrundi V. Bakshi caricature, one might suggest that he drunkenly face-planted onto the pavement, rendering his visage bruised, bloated, and birdie-numb–numbed.

But such a suggestion would be racist. Indians are fine walkers; that’s why Gandhi never drove.

With the publicity provided by the breathless Yahoo and CBS News coverage, Kang launched a GoFundMe, which quickly spread online. By the beginning of February, he’d made over $20,000.

But last week, police checked nearby home and business surveillance videos, and while they didn’t see a hate crime, they were treated to a wacky drunken solo face-first fall video worthy of Bob Saget.

The local CBS affiliate broke the terrible news that Kang’s face was self-broken.

GoFundMe has suspended the fundraiser, and it’s very likely that Kang will be criminally charged for filing a false police report.

A “rascal” indeed. And considering that there’s likely not much future in being a dog walker who can’t walk, it looks like once Kang is free of his legal entanglements and looking for employment, he’ll have to hit the road and pound the pavement.

Again.

SLURRING THEIR SPEECH
Perhaps all white people should learn sign language. A radical solution, to be sure. But more and more it’s becoming impossible for whiteys to say anything—anything at all—without it being considered a fireable, and cancel-able, offense.

Poor Donald McNeil. For decades, ol’ Don had been The New York Times’ star reporter on matters of science and health (he’d been with the paper since 1976). And the dawning of the Covid Era gave Donny his moment in the spotlight. Whether Fauci was advocating wearing no masks, one mask, two masks, or the current directive of thirty (28 over the mouth and nose, and two over the rectum to catch errant farts), Don McNeil was there, to dutifully report “thee science” and educate the filthy masses.

Speaking of filthy, in 2019 McNeil accompanied a bunch of privileged upper-income teenagers to the disease-infested tropical petri dish known as Peru, as part of the Times’ yearly program of coordinating international trips for spoiled egocentric students of means, with the newspaper’s reporters serving as their tour guides. Think of it as similar to “take your daughter to work day,” but with an international twist, along the lines of “take your Zoomer $#@! to South America day.”

Sadly, McNeil, being an older gent, didn’t realize that today’s young people, lacking a ’nam or an AIDS to thin their ranks and teach them humility, saw the vacation as a way to cancel an oldie. Ostensibly, the kids were in Peru to study “community healthcare in impoverished nations.” But in reality, the children of Times readers care about South and Central Americans only when they’re held in DONALD TRUMP’S RACIST BORDER CAGES. Free-range Peruvians in their native habitat are of little interest.

So the brats decided to make the most of their trip by coercing Don McNeil into saying “******,” and then getting him canceled.

Covid lockdowns and school closures have resulted in a plague of student suicides, but sadly not among the kids who most deserve that fate.

At dinner one night during the trip, McNeil’s students asked if they could pick his brain regarding a classmate back in the States who’d said the word “******.” As the student was white, what penalty should have befallen him? Expulsion? Imprisonment? Death by breaking wheel?

McNeil, not realizing that he was being drawn into a trap by the current generation’s unique amalgam of Dennis the Menace and Lavrentiy Beria, asked the obvious question of his youthful interlocutors: Did the white student use the word as a slur, or was he repeating it in the act of recounting a news item or a rap lyric?

And the kids were like, “Repeating what?”

And McNeil was like, “That word.”

“What word?”

“******.”

And with that the joyful youngsters screamed in unison, “Ooooooooooh, we made you say ‘******’! You’re dead, grup!”

And dead he was. After nearly two years of telling the “Peru ******” tale to all who’d listen, last week the young Stasis finally found an “investigative journalist” at The Daily Beast who recognized the story’s value. At first, Times editor Dean Baquet responded by defending McNeil, stating that his intent in using the word didn’t appear to be racist. But then the little dears from the field trip said, “Hmm, then maybe you’re the racist,” and Baquet changed his tune, declaring that McNeil’s intent “didn’t matter,” and he was so fired and how the $#@! did The New York Times sink to the point where teenagers dictate HR policy?

How indeed. And if intent no longer matters when a white person uses the “N-word,” will the Times continue to champion the films of Quentin Tarantino?

More importantly, will the Times continue to allow its staff and editors to retain their actual physical balls, or will the castration become as literal as it is figurative?

IN DA BOUNCY HOUSE
Again, let’s stick with a theme: young people. And lest the previous item imply that today’s “yoots” are vile only when moneyed, let’s take a trip to Peoria, Ill., with it’s 21% poverty index and inordinately high crime rate (higher even than Chicago when it comes to property crimes). Peoria is wonderfully, blissfully diverse. With a population that is approximately 30% black, you can always count on Peoria to bring both da funk and da noise.

And da bounce.

The owners and operators of Peoria’s Elevate Trampoline Park had a dream…a wonderful dream (papaaaaa) to give the yoots of Peoria some good, wholesome fun. After all, who doesn’t like trampolines, right? Bouncing up and down for hours on end, what could possibly be more enjoyable than that, except maybe anything. So Peoria’s Elevate Trampoline Park was born. And to ensure that the venue attracted as many young people as possible, the owners decided to institute a special night, just for teens (because the children are our future).

“Black Out Teen Night.” Yes, that was the name. The actual name. As described on the Elevate Trampoline Facebook page when the weekly event was launched (i.e., back before the morons at Elevate realized what they’d done to themselves):

Saturdays from 8:00pm–11:00pm. Exclusively for teenagers, ages 12–19! Only $20 per person, for all three hours. Don’t forget to wear clothes that “GLOW” under a black light. Elevate socks are included in the price of our Black Out Teen Night pass.

Elevate even paraphrased Illinois’ greatest resident to attract kids to the “Black Out” night: “Four score and seven years ago…we jumped until we could not anymore.”

Sadly, Black Out Teen Night quickly turned into Black In Teen Night. Within weeks, the event became the place to be for the city’s diversified young folks. And oddly, in a development that could not have been foreseen by anyone, stuffing hundreds of black kids into a dark room filled with trampolines ended in disaster.

Last week, Elevate Trampoline Park was trampled in a rumble worthy of The Warriors, or any average day in war-torn Somalia. Dozens of noble multiracial nonwhite youngsters who are our future started beating the living crap out of each other, because of course they did. Video from the fracas shows the little angels tossing trash cans and throwing punches, and generally wrecking the joint, as hoodies and weaves go flying and frightened staffers cower in corners frantically texting their families, “If I don’t make it out alive, find the person who thought Black Out Teen Night was a good idea and murder him. Avenge me! Avenge meeeee!”

When police cleared the location of brawlers, the fights continued outside the business. Cops told a local TV station that they made no arrests, because George Soros or racial justice or maybe just because at this point why bother? Is it really the fault of the kids? Or is it the fault of the morons who thought they could be counted on to behave?

The day after the melee, Elevate released a statement explaining that all Black Out Teen Nights would immediately be canceled at all locations. Sources say the ad whiz who came up with the concept is hard at work on his next amazing idea: George Floyd Memorial Trampoline Night.

“He was killed for bouncing a check, so bounce back in his memory.”

That should play well in Peoria.

$#@!RY STAR
Remember back when we could forgive people their trespasses? Or, more specifically, when we could forgive country & western musicians their occasional slip-ups? Like in 1981 when Johnny Cash killed a bunch of ostriches and then got his ass kicked by a survivor?

Cash, who at the time was not averse to the occasional drink or line or upper, had built a wild animal park adjoining his Tennessee home. But the winter of ’81 had been especially brutal, and half the animals perished, including a $#@!load of ostriches. Indeed, all of Cash’s female ostriches died in the cold, which apparently left the males somewhat cranky. When Cash was startled by a furious and horny ostrich while walking his grounds (and, one assumes, stepping over the frozen hens), he became enraged, vowing to murder the blueballed bird wot scared him. The fight was, at best, a draw. Cash cracked the angry beast’s leg with a stick, but received five broken ribs and a ruptured stomach in the process.

Music fans had no problem forgiving the Man in Black for his animal cruelty (although ostriches continue to carry a grudge to this day).

If there’s a lesson from the Cash clash, it’s “Musicians are oftentimes dicks; live with it.”

Ah, but in 2021, these are the days of never living with anything. As proven last week when a young country & western star named Morgan Wallen was caught on camera using the “N-word,” apparently when drunkenly, if affectionately, referring to a friend of his.

Was that a sound decision? For $#@!’s sake, the man has a mullet. If you expect sound decisions from a man with a mullet, more the fool you.

When the video of his N-word usage went public, Wallen was dropped by his agent and fired by his recording label, and his work, including his most recent album, was banned by CMT and removed from rotation by hundreds of radio stations nationwide.

One of Wallen’s musical collaborators even pledged to donate all of his profits to the NAACP, a small boutique organization that badly needs the funds.

Wallen himself has urged his fans to stop listening to his songs, and he’s embarked on a national apology tour in which all black Americans are invited to “ostrich” him Cash-style.

There’s only one problem…ever since his “cancellation,” Wallen’s album sales have skyrocketed…by 102%. And downloads of his music have increased by 67%. Even his older albums have hit the charts again.

This might represent a fatal flaw in cancel-culture methodology; cancellation as an inadvertent path to fame and fortune.

God forbid if other marginally talented washed-up musical failures begin engaging in racist speech to revitalize their careers. What might that bring us? Jimmy Ray’s “Are You KKK?”? Aqua’s “Klaus Barbie Girl?” Tanita Tikaram’s “Eleven Kikes of Loneliness”? Lushus Daim’s “More Than Jew Can Handle”?

Or maybe it’s just that country-music fans, accustomed as they are to songs of woe by doe-eyed sadsacks, are more forgiving. After all, when every song in the genre can be distilled to “my cheatin’ woman left me as I drank myself catatonic after my daddy died by crashing his beat-up ol’ Chevy truck into the steel mill so now I’m unemployed,” a single like “I done said ****** on TMZ, and now them coons is after me” is a guaranteed hit.

That’s all for this week. Now go Google Lushus Daim; your day will be much the worse for it.

[Swordsmyth]

https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-127/

The Week’s Most Parthenic, Sirenic, and Pyrogenic Headlines
WHILE MY JAMAR GENTLY WEEPS
Beverly Hills has become a kind of trophy to BLM thugs. Ever since the terrorist org began its national campaign of violence and intimidation, “activists” have repeatedly targeted the Westside city with acts of vandalism and harassment.
It’s kind of odd, as Beverly Hills cops haven’t been shooting black people…or any people, for that matter. Also, Beverly Hills isn’t nearly as white as the dimwits of BLM seem to believe (especially if you don’t count Persian Jews as white). And more to the point, Beverly Hills isn’t even in the top ten of wealthiest Southern California enclaves.
But blacks have a penchant for brand-name merchandise, and the Beverly Hills brand is as internationally recognizable as the Gucci, Tiffany’s, and Dolce & Gabbana stores that line Rodeo Drive. Unconcerned about facts and details, BLM sees Beverly Hills as the big kahuna of “white wealth.”
So, again and again, BLM takes a BM on BH. Or at least it tries to. The Beverly Hills PD has a zero-tolerance policy for terrorism…which you’d think shouldn’t stand out as unique in a civilized nation. But unlike so many other U.S. cities, Beverly Hills has no patience for criminals and radicals. When BLM and its “allies” block streets, they get arrested. When they invade residential neighborhoods, they get arrested. But again, that’s what all cops should be doing.

What makes the BHPD truly special is the creative way in which its officers troll the invading scumbags.
One could call Sennett Devermont an ass boil, but ass boils usually dissolve and go away over time. Devermont is old-school BLM; he’s been leading pickets since 2016. He usually targets BH, never for any particular reason beyond “cuz it’s there.” When Philando Castile was killed by a cop in Minnesota, Devermont picketed Beverly Hills. When Michael Brown was justifiably ventilated by a cop in Missouri, Devermont picketed Beverly Hills. And when Keith Lamont Scott was shot by a cop in North Carolina, Devermont picketed Beverly Hills.

Dude ain’t too bright; he seems unable to understand maps and geography.
Devermont has become enough of a nuisance for the officers of the BHPD to get creative in dealing with him. When the human tick engages in his favorite hobby of getting in officers’ faces with his phone while they’re on duty in order to post confrontational videos on social media, the annoyed but wonderfully inventive cops have started playing Beatles songs on their phones…a guaranteed way to get a video kicked off Instagram, because the site’s algorithms automatically catch and remove anything that contains the unauthorized use of copyrighted music (and Beatles songs are legendary when it comes to immediate removal due to unauthorized use).
The tactic’s been working like a charm!
BLM is furious at being outmaneuvered (to be fair, when your organization is about ultra-violence not ultra-smarts, being outmaneuvered shouldn’t come as a surprise). News organs like Vice and Yahoo have condemned the cops’ musical mischief.

Perhaps eventually the higher-ups at BH City Hall will demand that the police quit the trolling. But all good people can take comfort in the fact that an ass boil was lanced and ridiculed by his betters, and in today’s world, small victories like that aren’t really so small.
SCREWY JEWY
Rabbi Barry Silver might be the most bat$#@!-insane Jew in the world. Or he might be the world’s greatest performance artist. Rabbi Silver is either the highest of art or the lowest of IQ.

It’s hard to tell, because it’s hard to imagine that a person like this can exist as anything but farce.
Rabbi Silver is the founder of something he calls “Cosmic Judaism.” It’s basically Judaism that rejects the Almighty in favor of leftist politics and Bill Nye “science-as-faith” gobbledygook. In a way, most secular American Jews would likely be considered “Cosmic Jews.” They’re just never stupid enough to say so outright, especially with a self-applied label as idiotic as Silver’s.
The Boynton Beach-based Silver launched his new brand of Judaism last year. As explained in the Sun-Sentinel:

Silver said Cosmic Judaism began with his late father Samuel Silver, a Reform rabbi. “He believed in God, but not the God of the Bible, and preached and wrote in various books that he authored that every concept of Judaism, including God, should be rational and logical, and that God should be thought of as a hypothesis, not a fact,” he said. This new approach is intended to interpret religion through science and will be launched during the synagogue’s High Holiday services.

Thus, Cosmic Judaism replaces God with social justice activism and “leftist science” (“the earth is on fire and there are 563 genders”). In place of psalms and hymns, Silver subjects his congregants to his musical odes to AOC talking points, including this one—a “global warming” song set to “We Are the World”…more proof that this guy is either clinically insane or doing meta-comedy.
After all, nobody likes the original version of that ear-bleeder, let alone an “educational” remake.


Last week, for reasons only he could possibly comprehend, Silver penned an op-ed in the Sun-Sentinel titled “Many Self-Hating Jews Aid Anti-Semitic Conspiracies.” In it, he claims that Jews helped spur the Capitol riot, in a way that, again, makes you ask, “Can this guy possibly be for real?”

What’s surprising is that many right wing Jews have exchanged Jewish ideals for deals and have become strange bedfellows with those who took over the Capitol in the name of Jesus.

Huh? I thought it was in the name of Trump. Oh, wait—Silver accuses Trump of claiming to be Jesus. And for some reason “bad” Jews have aligned with this evil new messiah.
After blaming Jews for the evils in the world, Silver adds, “Thus, it should come as no surprise that today’s Christian Nationalist QAnon conspiracy theory blames the Jews for all the evils in the world.”

Wait, but didn’t he himself just blame…

It’s headache-inducing.
He likens the Capitol rioters to 9/11’s Muslims, writing “Both groups espouse ‘Replacement Theology’ in which their imaginary father in the sky loves them best.” Wotta rabbi, mocking people’s “imaginary father in the sky.” That’s only slightly nuttier than claiming that 9/11 occurred because of Muslim “replacement theology.”
He wraps up by declaring that only “rational discourse and debate” can defeat extremists. A mere paragraph after denigrating the Christian and Muslim “imaginary father in the sky,” he invites members of other faiths to join him for “rational discourse.”
Silver is living proof that people on the left literally get to say anything in the media today. None of that “under a microscope” crap that rightists get from the few mainstream editors who’ll still publish them. But to give the rabid rebbe credit, at least he’s “entertaining insane” instead of “boring insane.”
I hope his cosmic congregants appreciate that, even as they have to endure his attempts at music that make a night with the Auschwitz orchestra seem like a better entertainment option in comparison.
ALT RATS
In an unsurprising development, the young geniuses behind all that naughty talk about “cookie monsters” and “ovens” have once again gotten history wrong. It seems that the impish little satyrs on the groyper/alt-right end of the spectrum were obsessing too much about World War II and not enough about recent U.S. history…because heaven forbid those puckish pups focus on something relevant.
Anyone remember that whole “militia movement” craze from the ’90s, that nutty OKC bombing/Montana Freemen/Republic of Texas thing that seemed really popular for a while and then kinda vanished? Well, one reason it vanished was the use of informants and undercover operatives by federal law enforcement.

See, here’s a wee factoid that today’s young groyper kids have likely never learned from the memes that served as their formal political education: The worst thing that happened to the DOJ was the rise in Islamic terror. Filthy brown foreign-tongued Muslims proved a daunting challenge to law enforcement when it came to going undercover and cultivating informants. In 1995, the FBI had 10,000 agents who looked like Tim McVeigh. Sending guys undercover was a cinch. And “turning” militia members was even easier, because the cat and the mouse spoke the same language and shared cultural familiarities. But Muslims? Christ, that was a challenge. Most FBI undercover guys can’t pass for an Akbar, and can’t speak Akbarese. And the problem with recruiting actual Akbars to turn on their brothers is that every now and then they do a double-triple-switcheroo and blow up their handlers, because more than anything Akbars love a good kaboomie.

Kipling said it best:

The Stranger within my gates,
He may be evil or good,
But I cannot tell what powers control—
What reasons sway his mood;
Nor when the Gods of his far-off land
Shall repossess his blood.

The post-9/11 “war on terror” had the feds pining for the days of going after rednecks and mafiosi. You know, white guys whose minds and motivations were more easily known.

Well, thank heavens the far right decided to storm the Capitol! The DOJ couldn’t be happier. Being able to repurpose the war on terror as a war against whiteys has rekindled the FBI’s love of infiltrating and turning. And damned if it isn’t giving the groyper kids premature hair loss.
“FBI Informant Panic Is Ruining Friendships All Over the Far Right” read the headline of a Daily Beast special report last week. The piece paints a rather devastating portrait of a “movement”—the post-Capitol fringe right—whose members are gripped by fear and anxiety over who’s being squeezed by the feds, who’s going to turn, who’s already turned, and who’s an undercover agent. Proud Boys members, rocked by the revelation that one of their supposedly kick-assiest leaders, Enrique Tarrio, was a fed informant, are now fracturing into dozens of subgroups accusing other subgroups of being led by informants.

And groyper “leader” Patrick Casey has openly split with groper golden goy Nick Fuentes over concerns that Fuentes, an apparent target of the feds, is setting up other groypers with his end-of-February “America First” conference in Orlando, which Casey refers to as a “federal honeypot event.”
Casey claims that the FBI has frozen Fuentes’ bank accounts, suggesting that agents are using the money to “persuade” Fuentes to play ball. Those same concerns about feds ’n’ thumbscrews have been voiced regarding arrested groyper stormers “Baked Alaska” and Riley June Williams.
So now everyone on the far right is playing Tony Soprano wondering if the Big Pussies have turned.
It’s hard not to feel a little sympathy for these young patriots, who appear completely unprepared for this complete inevitability.
Don’t blame them; they were lied to by their teachers. The memes never told them it could turn out this way.
KUNTA KINTE…PLAIN OR WITH ALMONDS
12 Years a Slave? More like 3 Musketeers a Slave. Apparently, antislavery chocolate is a thing. And why not? In the U.S., slavery—which ended more than 155 years ago—has become for some odd reason the event that defines all current human endeavors.
Well, to be fair, the reason isn’t odd at all. The New York Times’ 1619 Project—the Manhattan Project of the nation’s black race hustlers and white/Jewish “allies”—has wormed its way into every facet of American life.

Slavery “made” this country (narrator: It didn’t), and all nonblack Americans owe the descendants of slaves and those who resemble the descendants of slaves a perpetual debt (narrator: They don’t).

In her barely readable magnum opus, the 1619 Project’s illiterate hunt-and-pecker Nikole Hannah “Bae” Jones made a big deal about how chocolate is racist. In the world of sweets, chocolate is the Grand Wizard of KKKandy. It’s not just that white people shouldn’t “do violence” to a darker food (i.e., bite a bar of chocolate); it’s that whites only know about chocolate because enslaved Africans had to work cocoa farms without a guaranteed minimum wage of $15 an hour and free unisex tampon distribution centers for men who menstruate.
Those ghastly cocoa-farm conditions persist in West Africa today, so whiteys should feel especially guilty about munching that Mars.
Fortunately, help has arrived! Tony’s Chocolonely is the world’s premier antislavery chocolate bar! A self-proclaimed social justice, pro-BLM chocolate company, Tony’s has pledged to become the first “100% slave-free” chocolate manufacturer. No slaves harvesting the cocoa beans, and “reparations” for the descendants of the slaves who harvested them back in the old days.
One key pillar of the Tony’s philosophy is that chocolate prices should be kept artificially high. The Tony’s website literally instructs retailers to inflate the price of the candy, because a 6.35-oz. chocolate bar that requires a down payment is the key to preventing slavery in cocoa-growing nations.
It’s also the key to pricing chocolate out of the reach of inner-city blacks. Which is certainly kind of ironic (social justice chocolate that excludes blacks).
So, how could a company with such a good and pure vision possibly fail?
What could ever go wrong with such a noble business plan?
Well, the world found the answer to those questions last week, when it was revealed that the Tony’s supply chain includes a company that uses African child slave labor to harvest its cocoa.

Be honest—were you expecting anything less?
Apparently, Tony’s was contracting with a slave-using cocoa manufacturer in order to keep its costs down and pocket more of the profits from those inflated prices.

As social justice orgs drop Tony’s from their list of approved merchants, let’s not be unmindful of the real victims here: the wealthy whites who will now have to find new sources of $40 chocolate bars that make them feel good about themselves, and Nikole Hannah “Bae” Jones, who will have to go back to filling that void in her hateful soul by Oprah-style binge-eating Milky Ways and Krackels.

THE NOOSE OF THE WORLD
Remember Bubba Wallace? He’s the black NASCAR driver who got scared silly by a string last year. After mistaking a garage-door pull rope for a “noose,” Wallace cried “hate crime” and the world listened…if by “the world” one means MSNBC and The New York Times. Everyone else just laughed.
Still, the FBI sent nearly two-dozen agents to put the screws to the string. Indeed, the transcript of the interrogation is intense:

FBI Agent: “Fess up: Are you a noose?”
String: “Knot!”
FBI Agent: “Stop jerking us around. Are you a noose?”
String: “Knot! Knot! Knot!”

Sadly, due to post-traumatic stress from the encounter with the rope, the dope blew it last week at Daytona. Wallace came in 17th, prompting The Guardian to complain that racist NASCAR was “not redeemed” (apparently, Wallace is owed a win every time he drives).

However, the news was not all bad in the never-ending fight against things that are not nooses.

Rawiri Waititi is the newly elected coleader of New Zealand’s Maori Party. Last week, he clashed with his fellow parliamentarians over a longstanding rule that male members must wear ties while in the hallowed parliamentary chamber.

A tie? Around the neck? Wait…that must mean it’s a noose!

Actually, that’s not a joke. That’s Waititi’s actual belief, and he stated as much when he flaunted the rule and showed up for work bare-necked and wearing a traditional Maori pendant called a hei tiki, which bears a strong resemblance to fossilized frog road-kill and probably is.

Initially, Waititi was escorted out of the chamber for the dress-code violation, but then he gave a long, rambling warble about the white man’s racism and historical oppression and his ancestors being hanged and how the fearsome specter of nooses haunts his people still, and eventually the other members of Parliament were like, “Oh for $#@!’s sake forget the tie if it’ll shut the stupid bastard up.”

In his victory speech, Waititi told the press, “Maori have had enough of being assimilated and forced to do and look like everyone else. We are not like everyone else. We are unique. Being Maori is like having superpowers.”

On the other hand, whites also appear to possess a unique superpower—the ability to tell the difference between a noose and something that is absolutely not a noose.
Should there ever be an all-out Justice League-style war between the two superhero factions, the safe bet will be the side whose members can look at a rope without $#@!ting themselves. Indeed, a few Wonder Woman lassos and the war will be over fairly quickly.
String…the kryptonite of the nonwhite.

[Swordsmyth]

https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-128/

The Week’s Most Lucrific, Morbific, and Tenebrific Headlines

CPAC’S PHARAOH PLAGUES THE JEWS
The black vote. Is there anything more important to conservatives? No, there isn’t. The black vote wins elections for the GOP and proves with finality that people on the right are not racist. Well, that’s the dream, anyway. The reality is, the black vote wins nothing for the GOP and even when there’s a marginal increase in it on the Republican side, it never mitigates the accusations of “white supremacy” and klansmanship that get tossed at rightists by the media every day.
We can’t be certain whose grand idea it was to invite black “philosopher, scholar, and musician” Young Pharaoh to CPAC 2021. What we can be certain of is that the person who birthed that crackerjack idea labors under the impression that they are the future of conservatism.
And in a way, that’s not untrue. Because the dogged pursuit of excremental self-defeating ideas appears to be the movement’s highest aspiration these days.
Young Pharaoh is a rapper and “Afrocentric polymath thinker” who’s as bat$#@! insane as anyone else who’s ever claimed such a moniker. He runs an online “university” (website) that purports to teach young Black men that Afrikans invented everything, including UFOs and magic. Young Pharaoh’s mantra: “The white man is inferior, the BLACK MAN is GOD!”


Oh, and the Jews are satanic.
Last year the poor dumb bastard made the mistake of posting some drivel about how Donald Trump was the Black man’s friend because he was exposing the JEW 9/11 conspirators and revealing the truth about how Covid is biological warfare aimed at (guess who) THE BLACK MAN!
He also posted some videos about how the DEMOCRATS are the real racists who created the KKK, and how Obama is just a tool of the DEEP STATE.
Well, ’nuff said. Conservatives in unison screamed “the black voooooote!” and began following this imbecile like the messiah he thinks he is. The “free market patriot group” 1776ForeverFree invited him to perform at last October’s “March on Washington,” and CPAC excitedly announced that he’d be a guest at this year’s convention.
Except, as CPAC organizers were jerking off in joy, a few canny online sleuths looked at the guy’s website and videos. And they saw how every other word this halfwit has ever spoken or written has been either “Jews are evil” or “whites are stupid” (or this greatest hit about how whites are not genetically human, and they lack souls, too).
He also seems to think that Jews don’t exist; Jews are a myth like the round earth or the moon. But he also thinks Jews are evil. But they also don’t exist. But they do. They are at the same time extant and imaginary. It’s a quantum thing…Schrödinger’s Katz.

Last week, the organizers of CPAC stopped masturbating long enough to reluctantly scrub Young Pharaoh from their list of invitees (that included redacting his page on the CPAC website where he was lauded for his “scholarship”). Sadly, the world will never get to see Young Pharaoh share the stage with Trump, as they both lament the Platinum Plan that wasn’t.

Word has it that after canceling Young Pharaoh, one CPAC organizer asked another, “Do you think this makes conservatives look desperate? Slavishly slobbering over every person with dark skin who glances in our direction? Proclaiming every black back-alley crackhead the new King of Konservatism, no matter how insane their views?”
“Of course not,” the other organizer is reputed to have answered. “If we occasionally err, it’s only because our party cannot survive without blacks. After all, what other constituency do we have?”
And with that both men headed out to scour the alleys behind inner-city liquor stores for their next keynote speaker.
EAT YOUR HEART OUT, PRIVILEGED WHITEY!
Speaking of the black vote, while CPAC was bollixing its attempt to show the world how amazingly not racist it is, over in Oklahoma, a Republican was showing the world how to not racist the right way.


Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitt, in office since January 2019, is as pro-life as they come. Man oh man, if you’re a fetus, this guy has your tiny little back.
Fetuses get protection in Kevin Stitt’s state!

White crime victims, not so much. After all, Stitt claims to be a “person of color” himself. Mind you, to the naked eye he’s as white as Palpatine. But apparently ten generations ago an ancestor got blown by a squaw, so he’s officially a “Cherokee.” And Big Chief Set’emfree is a huge fan of George Soros-style “criminal justice reform,” redirecting funding from law enforcement and incarceration toward “community development” for low-income minorities, and reducing most property crimes from felonies to misdemeanors.
In The Grapes of Wrath, the Joads fled Oklahoma for a better life in California. Stitt is currently hard at work penning Grapes of Wrath II, in which every crappy idea from California is trucked into Oklahoma.
Stitt’s greatest accomplishment, though, has been in the area of felony sentence commutations. Stitt oversaw what the Oklahoman newspaper called “the largest commutation in U.S. history.” You’re a violent felon? Make Kevin Stitt two promises: (1) You’ll never support abortion, and (2) you’ll never, ever, ever do crimes again, and off you go with a fruit basket and a “life begins at conception” sticker.

Proud black man Lawrence Anderson was in Proud Prison for a variety of crimes: attacking his girlfriend and holding her at gunpoint, possession of crack cocaine with intent to distribute, sale of crack near an elementary school, attacking a woman with a handgun in a church parking lot, and carrying a vial of PCP in his underwear. In 2017, he was sentenced to twenty years in prison. Last month, only a little over three years into his sentence, Anderson was freed by Republican Stitt, who commuted his sentence to prove that the Democrats are the real racists.

That was last month. Last week, Anderson murdered his neighbor, a 41-year-old white woman named Andrea Lynn Blankenship. He carved her heart out Temple of Doom-style, he took the heart back to his apartment, he cooked it with potatoes for dinner, and he fed it to his aunt, uncle, and the uncle’s 4-year-old granddaughter. And then he slaughtered the uncle and the little girl, and stabbed the aunt in both eyes.
Upon hearing the news, Kevin Stitt reportedly jumped for joy, as no fetuses had been harmed.


Funny enough, Stitt has yet to comment about the grotesque murders on his Twitter page, which he typically uses to flaunt his female and “people of color” appointees. Stitt’s followers, on the other hand, have been less reserved about bringing up the issue, flooding his posts with links about Anderson.
At a press conference last Tuesday, Grady County District Attorney Jason Hicks (also a Republican) condemned Stitt for the commutation: “I really think an offender such as this should have not ever been able to even apply for a commutation.”

George Soros, on the other hand, held a press conference the same day in which he just shook his head and said, “This is getting too $#@!ing easy.”
No word yet on whether CPAC will make Stitt this year’s keynote speaker.
Life…begins at conception, and ends when a Republican releases a cannibal into your community.
MUSTAFA SUMBALLZ
If the previous two stories convey any singular message, it’s that the GOP has become a gelding where it matters. With Roe v. Wade the law of the land, Americans can count on their Republican buddies to be fearless regarding the rights of fetuses…because at present it’s a moot point. But on issues of crime, race, and immigration—stuff of current concern, stuff that can actually garner votes from the center—the mainstream GOP has zero balls.
It can be argued that a huge reason for Trump’s popularity in 2016 was his fearlessness when discussing the verboten topics. GOP voters, and red-leaning independents, had grown tired of mealymouthed Republicans whose talking points run the gamut from “thank you for your service” to “lower the capital gains tax.” Rightists wanted red meat on an outdoor grill, not elitist corporate pâté on a bed of kale.

The following is not a tangent…it’ll make sense shortly.

The tiny and abominably wealthy nation of Qatar is one of the leading real estate wheeler-dealers in the world. Already one of London’s biggest landowners, Qatar has recently been increasing its holdings in the U.S., spending damn near $100 billion to buy up parts of Manhattan, Washington, D.C., and West L.A.
See, Qatar businessmen have a gift…the gift of spotting a distressed property. Qatar smells your weakness, Qatar smells your desperation. And Qatar can buy and sell you a billion times over.
Qatar has another gift—gonads the size of boulders.
Ever since winning the right to hold the 2022 World Cup, Qatar has imported scores of Third World migrants as “temporary guest workers” to labor in the scorching heat constructing the World Cup infrastructure (this includes a new airport, new roads, new public transportation systems, new hotels, and even a new city). Last week, The Guardian reported that more than 6,500 of these workers from India, Bangladesh, Nepal, Sri Lanka, Pakistan, the Philippines, and Kenya have dropped dead laboring for Qatari World Cup glory. And the Qatar government’s attitude has been “Hey—we said ‘temporary’ workers! And ‘temporary’ they were.”
The British relinquished Qatar in 1971, and they seem to have left their “nogs are disposable” colonial spirit behind within its borders.
And now Qatar has spotted its newest distressed property—American conservatism. Disappointed by weak-willed, politically correct leaders who do little but parrot anti-racist talking points, smothered and silenced by Big Tech and the mainstream media, let down by Fox News, which proved not Trumpian enough when it counted, American rightists are crying out for a new platform…and Qatar is more than happy to step up.

Qatar-based Al Jazeera is launching a new right-wing channel called Rightly, geared toward Americans who want their conservatism straight and strong, outside the sphere of influence of the Zuckerbergs and Dorseys, and backed by a people who literally don’t mind stepping over dead Third Worlders as they walk from their sports cars to their luxury skyscrapers. Staffed by former Fox employees, Rightly promises to be a voice for underserved rightists in search of something that’ll make NewsMax and OAN look like NRO.
If Rightly succeeds, it’ll mark one of the starkest examples of how allegiances have shifted since the immediate post-9/11 period, when everything Arab was suspect and rightists fretted about Ground Zero mosques and sharia law. As Con Inc. has drifted further left, it’ll be an irony indeed if a little of that shameless arrogant stone-cold Arab blood is exactly what conservatives need to feel alive and invigorated again.
At the very least, the new network’s Sunday-night news show should prove interesting: 60 Minarets, hosted by Ramadanald J. Trump.
HATE-HMONGER
Bee afraid. Bee very afraid.

You know that recent spate of violent attacks committed against elderly Asians by primarily black assailants? Well, leftists have proclaimed the real cause of the violence to be Trump and white supremacy.

Crazy, right? Black street thugs attacking Asians because of Donald Trump and white racism? Nothing could be loopier than that!
Wrong again, oh naive reader.
Turns out even the leftists blaming Trump and the Klan for anti-Asian black violence have it wrong. The real culprit behind all those Oriental muggings is…ready for it?
Clint Eastwood.
Shocking, huh? But true. At least according to Bee Vang. You remember Bee Vang, right? Right? Okay, nobody remembers the poor sonofabitch by name. Even his own mother refers to him as “the Asian kid from Gran Torino.” That was the 2008 Eastwood-directed after-school special where Clint played a crusty ol’ racist whose heart is warmed when he befriends a Hmong boy and defends the youngster against gangs and bullies.
It’s the film where Eastwood told the writer, “Have me say ‘get off my lawn’ to some thugs…and then flesh the $#@!ing thing out with filler so I get a 90-minute runtime.”
Eastwood’s character has the typical clichéd redemption arc endemic to all simpleminded morality tales: He starts out a racist, but learns rainbow tolerance we all bleed red yada yada blah blah.

Hmong-American actor Bee Vang played the boy. But that was only the beginning for this stunning young talent. After finding fame as “the boy from Gran Torino,” Vang went on to become “the man who was the boy from Gran Torino.”

And now he’s “the bitter unemployed 30-year-old who was the boy from Gran Torino.”
Last week he was a guest opinion writer for NBC News, where he penned a piece blaming Eastwood’s Torino character for today’s anti-Asian violence.
Vang’s op-ed is, to put it mildly, difficult to follow. White audiences embraced Eastwood’s character’s racism in the 2008 film, thus mainstreaming anti-Asian hatred, while Covid represents a war against Asians by whites that’s as bad as the carpet-bombing of Laos, but Asians remain silent in the face of this genocide because Gran Torino “has beaten us into silent submission,” so because of Covid, Gran Torino is retroactively evil, but it was also evil at the time, Vang just didn’t recognize it as such back then, because there was no Covid yet.
That’s about as much sense as can be made of Vang’s word lao yum.
Funny enough, on his Instagram account, Vang spends most of his time ranting against other Asians. Specifically Koreans who look down on the Hmong as “low-achieving low education” eternal refugees incapable of finding economic success and prosperity in foreign lands.
Vang—broke and barely literate, having blown his chance to capitalize on the opportunities presented by Gran Torino’s success in order to build a career for himself—attacks Koreans as “pigs” for daring to paint all Hmong as broke illiterates unable to capitalize on opportunities to build careers for themselves.

Well played, Vang. Well played. That certainly shows those Koreans who’s boss!

A shrewd and penetrating killshot from a guy who these days is most likely to be told “get off my lawn” by groundskeepers clearing transients out of a public park.
BORN TO BE WILD TOILETING
The Nazis? The Kaiser? Napoleon? The Spanish Armada? Mere pikers compared with the newest foe against which great and mighty England has declared war: “wild toileting”!
Yes, the government of Boris Johnson is facing an enemy that surely would have made Churchill blanch…Third World poo!
As with all wars, knowing the backstory is important.
In India, as is well-known if not always well-portrayed in Merchant-Ivory period pieces, the lower castes love to take a good poop on the sidewalk. Thankfully, as the First World has descended into Third Worldier territory over the past few decades, fewer and fewer people in “civilized” nations notice should the odd Punjabi immigrant defecate here or there on the pavement, considering the fact that in most big cities homeless schizos and druggies have already beaten them to it.
But West Africans, well, they know better than to use something as base as a pedestrian walkway for the loo. No, Africans are made of heartier stuff. They prefer the ocean. As CitiNewsroom (Ghana’s leading news website) reported in 2018, even when the governments of coastal African towns build fancy public bathrooms, the locals “prefer the beach to public toilets” (one local explained to CitiNewsroom that it’s because there’s “more space”).

This is not a minor issue. Countries like Ghana, dependent as they are on beach resort tourism from young Western ninnies who want to, you know, like, see Africans and become one with nature, have been losing millions of dollars as those resorts become like Amity Island if the shark were a flotilla of turds.

Apparently, African immigrants have been bringing their affection for beach boweling to the formerly pristine shores of the U.K. And now some of the owners and overseers of those beaches are petitioning the Johnson government to launch a campaign to prevent the practice before the Covid lockdown on outdoor activities is lifted.
It seems that during the U.K.’s lengthy shutdown, the beaches have “healed” from years of abuse by immigrants, and those with a stake in maintaining England’s seaside tidiness want to keep it that way.
The Lulworth Estate, which owns something called Durdle Door, which is apparently an iconic coastal landscape in Dorset and not what you mockingly say to a retarded kid, has demanded that Johnson educate “culturally diverse beachgoers” to stop the “wild toileting” practice before loosening the leash on outdoor romping.
According to The Sunday Times, the “huge change in visitor demographics” at Durpy Derp has led to “environmental degradation such as has never been experienced before.” This “much younger and more geographically and culturally diverse cohort” has brought sanitation issues and environmental concerns “to the nation’s’ coast and countryside.”

Natural England, the government’s environment watchdog, said it was updating its code for visitors to the countryside to make it more relevant to the new type of visitor, including “those from low-income areas, urban areas, ethnic-minority backgrounds, younger people and people with long-term health conditions.”

Boris Johnson’s popularity may be at an all-time low at the moment, but the man knows his history. Taking a cue from England’s greatest wartime PM, Johnson has seen the foe, and he’s pledged to “fight it on the beaches.”
This shall be his finest ordure.

[Swordsmyth]

https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-129/

The Week’s Most Parading, Upbraiding, and Gasconading Headlines
GREEN EGGS AND HARAM
The ayatollahs of racial wokeness have come for Dr. Seuss, who thirty years after his death has been accused of infidel-ity because he dared to draw characters who are not white, which makes him a white supremacist. See, if Seuss had drawn only whites, he’d have been pro-diversity. But because he drew diverse characters, he’s anti-diversity.
If that confuses you, that means you’re a white supremacist, too.
Sieg heil, Hitler!
Six Dr. Seuss books have been voluntarily withdrawn from publication by the company that oversees the late children’s author’s works. Apparently, a bunch of “college professors” and other unskilled cretins had combed through Seuss’ catalog searching for instances in which the poor bastard had drawn nonwhites.

In one case, they found a cartoon of an Arab on a camel. Everyone knows that Arabs never ride camels. Literally, that’s a blood libel right up there with Jews drinking baby blood and black men paying child support.
So that book got banned.

In another Der Stürmer-esque atrocity, Seuss drew a Chinese man with slanted eyes.
Banned! Because everyone knows that Chinese people don’t have epicanthic folds; it only looks that way because white supremacists so confound the noble Asians that they’re constantly squinting in disbelief that a race can be so evil.

In Seuss’ early work McElligot’s Pool, the veritable KKK Grand Wizard dared to draw Eskimos wearing parkas. Such calumny! Seuss should’ve portrayed them wearing tank tops and Speedos and freezing to death like retards.
The funny thing is, Seuss lived his life as a die-hard leftist. In the TV version of Horton Hears a Who, Seuss portrayed the villainous Wickersham Brothers as stand-ins for Joe McCarthy and anti-communist “right wingers”:

We’re the Wickersham brothers. We’re vigilant spotters.
Hot shot spotters of rotters and plotters.
And we’re going to save our sons and our daughters from you.

How sad that the good Dr. never lived to see today’s leftist “vigilant spotters” declare that their sons and daughters need to be saved from him (and shouldn’t Horton be banned for promoting binary gender generalizations?).
In 1984’s The Butter Battle Book, Seuss explained that the difference between the Soviet Union and the U.S. boiled down to a dispute as trivial as whether people should butter their bread on the top or the bottom. Ironic how the Marxism he defended, now so pervasive in the U.S., can’t take such a dismissive, laissez-faire attitude toward racial disputes.
Yes, no matter which side he butters his bread, Dr. Seuss is toast.
REPARATION H
Get ready, black America! You’re about to get forty acres from a fool. President Biden has announced the formation of a commission to study the feasibility of giving reparations to every black American as a way to make up for that slavery thing that The New York Times tells us America couldn’t have existed without. But even as Biden christened the exploratory committee, one of his own senior advisers declared that black America ain’t gonna wait on no “committee” or “study.”


“We have to start breaking down systemic racism and barriers that have held people of color back and especially African Americans. We don’t want to wait on a study. We’re going to start acting now,” White House senior adviser Cedric Richmond told Axios last week.
Are you sitting down? Richmond is…black! Ha! What a twist! Didn’t see that coming, huh?
Pending House legislation that would create the reparations committee already has 173 Democrat sponsors. Word is, Biden was hoping the committee could be headed by Peggy Joseph, the woman in the 2008 viral video who claimed that Obama would pay for her gasoline and pay off her mortgage because she’s black. But sadly it appears that Ms. Joseph is currently incapacitated, having Gorilla Glued her head to a mirror while straightening her hair.
Cedric Richmond told Axios that giving black Americans all da leprechaun gold is only the beginning. The next step is, well, murky. Biden is going to make it so that blacks can be certain “that their homes are not valued less than homes in different communities just because of the neighborhood it’s in.”
This apparently involves some type of government manipulation to ensure that homes in crime-ridden and gang-infested areas are forced to go on the market at the same price as houses in Beverly Hills or the Hamptons. Axios asked Richmond how exactly that could be done, but sadly the White House adviser couldn’t answer as he’d Gorilla Glued his mouth shut while experimenting with a new treatment for chapped lips.
To be sure, artificially elevating the value of a house in East St. Louis so that it matches that of a cliffside Malibu mansion will be difficult, but not impossible. Some suggestions being bandied about by administration insiders include reclassifying homeless tents as “granny flats,” bullet holes in the walls as “fresh air ventilation systems,” urine-soaked alleys as “tropical rainforest ambiance,” blood spatter as “stained wood,” crack dens as “landscape lighting,” rat infestations as “pet-friendly,” and graffiti-covered buildings as “the arts district.”

Texas Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee, who advanced the reparations bill currently making its way through Congress, told the AP that giving blacks free cash because of something that happened 200 years ago to people who looked like them is “a way to bring the country together.” However, as the AP pointed out in a bizarre moment of journalistic integrity almost certainly caused by an editor having a stroke, “polling has found long-standing resistance in the U.S. to reparations to descendants of slaves, divided along racial lines. Only 29% of Americans voiced support for paying cash reparations, according to an Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research poll taken in the fall of 2019. Most Black Americans favored reparations, 74%, compared with 15% of white Americans.”
The AP asked Rep. Lee to comment on the polling numbers, but regrettably she was unable to respond, having Gorilla Glued her face to a stovetop while frying baloney.


Kamm Howard, co-chair of the National Coalition of Blacks for Reparations in America, told the AP that “the goal here is restoration. Where would we as a people be if it were not for 246 years of stolen labor and accompanying horrors?”
Probably still Gorilla Gluing themselves to random things.
XN MARKS THE SPOT
Let’s be frank: To speakers of English, that whole “languages with masculine and feminine nouns” thing is kinda dumb. Most of us don’t care if a chair has a figurative penis or a sofa has a figurative vagina (although a chair with a literal penis would be a guaranteed best-seller in West Hollywood). And let’s be frank again: It’s hard to muster any sympathy for the French. Because the French are jerks. Between their liberté, égalité, fraternité horse$#@! and their hate-speech laws and their fetish for importing Third Worlders who murder them, when the French encounter woe they merit only the most sarcastic of tiny violins.
Yet for all their mush-headed pinko one-world leftism, the French maintain a vigorous and combative affection for their stupid fruity language. Which is why it’s kinda satisfying to see French wokeism choose français as its next target.
Yes, the gender gendarmes have come for France’s binary tongue. French MPs are at odds over what The Sunday Times describes as “the adoption of so-called inclusive writing in the public services.” Essentially, this change to the French language would “rid French, which has the grammatical genders of a Latin language, of the primacy of the masculine over the feminine.” According to the Times, “the practice is necessary because women and others who do not identify with the male gender suffer discrimination from French having a masculine bias.” This “new form was invented in the progressive academic world and has been embraced by left-wing parties and councils.”
Très retardé. Wait, should that be retardée?
But as the French surrender to yet another foe of their own creation, here in America, where at least we know we’re free of ******y gendered nouns, the forces of language equity attempted an air strike last week, only to find themselves defeated by the nation’s true “first responders,” trannies!
Twitch—the livestreaming platform for gamers and nerds and everyone else who could take a hundred bucks to a house of crack whores and still not find anyone willing to blow them—decided to celebrate the first day of Women’s History Month by tweeting, “Join us in celebrating and supporting all the Womxn creating their own worlds, building their communities, and leading the way on Twitch.”
Yes, “Womxn.” No phonetic assistance is given, but one can assume it’s pronounced “womixen.”
The incel remoras of Twitch proclaimed that they were using the new term because the English language needs “a word that acknowledges the shortcoming of gender-binary language.”
See, there are men, women, and “womxn” (i.e., dudes in dresses we’ve been ordered to treat as women).
Sadly for Twitch, their beloved addition to the lexicon was quickly denounced as “transphobic” by men in lipstick. As explained by one Twitter tranny, “Changing the word implies that trans and nonbinary women are not real women and it’s disrespectful to the trans women who are fighting to be recognized as women.”
Men in wigs long to be called “women.” They don’t want to be an “x.” “X” makes them feel like a freak, and heaven forbid that freaks feel like freaks.

It took less than a day for Twitch to surrender like a Frenchmxn: “After hearing directly from you, including members of the LGBTQIA+ community on Twitch, we will be using the spelling ‘women’ moving forward. We want to assure you that we have, and will continue to, work with the LGBTQIA+ community. We’re still learning. Our good intentions don’t always equate to positive impact, but we’re committed to growing from these experiences, doing better, and ensuring we’re inclusive to all.”
R.I.P. “womxn”; we hardly knew yx.
But the question remains: If “trans women” are women in the womanest sense of the word, isn’t that “binary”? Isn’t that merely reinforcing that there are men and women, and nothing else?

Best not to concentrate on such questions. Leftists defile language for the sake of it; logic matters not.
Libertx, égalitx, fraternitx.
CLIMBIE FISSURE
There was no shortage of eyebrow-raising and confused doglike head-tilting last week when word got out that Cornell University was offering an indoor rock-climbing class open only to black students. The school initially made it clear that the course was intended for blacks and blacks alone. That’s what put the story in the news…something to do with the fact that racially exclusive and segregated college classes are illegal under State of New York law…and there’s also that little federal thing called the 14th Amendment.
The story played out as one would expect. Once the details of the Gym Crow scheme were made public, Cornell reversed itself and announced that the class would be open to all, including crackas, honkies, and ofay white devils.
And while that mollified some of the gawkers, quite a few observers remained confused about one particular detail: The price of the colored climbing class was $1,890.
$1,890 for black Americans who (we are told) can’t afford IDs to vote or basic healthcare to ward off Covid. But they can afford $1,890 to learn how to climb rocks?
If nonblacks were puzzled that such a course could be profitable, it’s only because melanin-challenged Americans are unaware of the fact that rock climbing is actually a big $#@!ing deal to blacks. It’s come to symbolize the “white boy” outdoor activities from which blacks feel excluded. There’s actually a massive market in teaching blacks to climb cliffs.
MLK might have “been to the mountaintop,” but he sure as hell didn’t lug his fat ass up there with an ATC-XP belay Rocklock Screwgate locking carabiner and Petzl Spirit Express quickdraw.
Melanin Base Camp is a national organization dedicated to proving to white boys that blacks can climb rocks too. Literally, that’s its purpose: to put blacks on mountains because whites don’t expect to see them there. Blacks are instructed to scale a cliff and wait at the top for the first white to arrive, so they can shout, “Surprise, muthafucka!”
Flash Friction is a New York-based climbing-shoe brand aimed specifically at black cragsmen, because it’s not enough to show whitey that you can climb a rock; you gotta do it FUBU-style.
The Brown Ascenders is a “people of color” Bay Area climbing crew. Then there’s Brown Girls Climb. And Memphis Rox. And Climbers of Color, Outdoor Afro, and the Brothers of Climbing. And Melanated Mazamas, a Portland climbing community that states on its website, “This is a BIPOC-only space. We appreciate white allies, but ask that white folks respect this space created specifically for the Mazamas BIPOC community.”
It seems a bit of an obsession; blacks trying to prove something by scaling rocks. Although what they’re proving might be difficult to pin down. Granted, it’s surprising that of all the “white boy” activities blacks could have chosen, they chose the one that involves hanging from a rope. Based on the hysterics of rope-averse screaming meemies like Bubba Wallace, one would think that this is the last type of thing blacks would feel comfortable doing.
On the other hand, what are the other choices? Water sports? No thank you.
That said, Melanin Base Camp seems to be as much about stopping whiteys from climbing as it is about encouraging blacks to start. Its website is filled with campaigns to “cancel” white climbers and majority-white climbing clubs, along with calls to “stop making movies about white guys doing cool $#@!.” In that blog entry, the author condemns outdoorsy whites who climb, describing them as racists who “condition themselves for the single-minded pursuit of an irrelevant task that adds no value to the world, that saves no one, that does nothing to address actual problems.”
So there’s no joy or appreciation of climbing here; just spite.
“Why do you want to climb Everest, Mr. Mallory?”
“Because it’s there.”
“Why do you want to climb Everest, DeMarquis?”
“Because whites is there.”
DRAGGED LACROSSE CONCRETE
Remember the Duke lacrosse “rape” scandal? Three white members of the Duke University men’s lacrosse team were falsely accused of rape when a black stripper named Crystal Mangum accused them of filling her with mangoo.
But it turned out to be a hoax. The boys were 100% innocent, victims of a rush to judgment by the press, the university, and a criminally corrupt DA named NiFong (“capital N, small i, capital F, small o, small n, small geeeeeeeeee!”).
That was 2006, a much simpler time in America. See, back then, if you didn’t do something, you didn’t have to be punished for the thing you didn’t do. And anyone who tried to penalize you for something you hadn’t actually done was viewed as a villain.
Such innocent days! But now, we live in the era of “intent doesn’t matter.” At least when it comes to whites. If a white person is accused of doing something bad to a nonwhite, it doesn’t make any difference if the bad thing was actually done or not. If the nonwhite “felt” victimized, then a crime was committed, even if no crime was committed.
Several weeks ago, The New York Times announced that when it comes to firing white staff for making nonwhites feel sad, “intent doesn’t matter.” Supporters of the Times proclaimed that the new standard for all white folks will from now on be “impact not intent.” If something you say, do, or don’t do “impacts” a person of color, you’re guilty.
Today, the fact that those lacrosse players didn’t actually rape anyone would be irrelevant. A black woman felt bad, regardless of the boys’ actions or intent. They’d have to pay the price for the “impact” of their non-rape.
Last week, the Syracuse University women’s lacrosse team learned these new rules the hard way. The team had posted a video on Instagram in which one of the young ladies gave the “OK” sign. And immediately—literally within a day—the Levitical lynchers at the ADL “pounced,” demanding the video be removed. Which begs the question, how the hell did the ADL know about the video so quickly? Have those canny Jews developed extrasensory perception? Or maybe Shmuelly and Ignatz were binge-watching teenage girl videos late at night only to be rewarded with a new “white supremacist” offense to investigate (“short-shorts plus a hate crime? Such a bargain!”).
Neither the ADL nor the university claimed that the girl who made the gesture had ill intent; everyone agreed that she was making an innocent “OK” sign. No one accused the young sportswoman of doing the 4chan “white power” troll. But the Syracuse women’s lacrosse team is white, so the university pulled the video and forced the team to apologize.
“Intent doesn’t matter,” the university said in a three-hundred-and-twelve-word apology statement. Yes, three hundred and twelve words for something that everyone agrees was nothing more than an innocent gesture. But remember—impact not intent!

In any situation like this, intent does not matter. This was an unacceptable lapse in judgment and lack of awareness on the part of our entire team. We as members of this program take collective responsibility for the harm this post may have caused. This incident does not reflect our character, but it does demonstrate that we have work to do.

Who was “harmed”? All agree that it was just an “OK” sign.

It shows that many of us are privileged enough to live free of the fear and hate that white supremacy brings to the Black community as well as other marginalized groups. We were negligent and hurt people in the community we love so much. We must be better.

No one was hurt. Nothing happened.

We are grateful that the lacrosse community has held us accountable.

“Accountable” for doing nothing wrong.

We are determined to continue the education process so that we can hold ourselves to the only acceptable standard: compassion and equity.

Ah, “equity.”

We deeply apologize for the damage we did yesterday and hope to repair it as best we can.

“Repair the damage”…when nothing was broken and no one damaged.

But the ADL got to throw its weight around, so at least someone profited from this affair. And to collegiate female sportswomen everywhere, be aware: Old dudes at the ADL are watching you…closely. Leering at every little movement, studying every little gesture.
Try not to let that jar your concentration on the playing field!

[Anti Federalist]

Gym Crow scheme

[Swordsmyth]

https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-130/

The Week’s Most Bitchy, Kitschy, and Twitchy Headlines
HOT (WATER) FOR TEACHER
Kids are such delightful scamps! Gettin’ into all kinds of Dennis the Menace-style trouble. Trampling mom’s flower bed, walking through the house with muddy feet…getting a man beheaded. That last one is the unique accomplishment of an unnamed “French” 13-year-old schoolgirl, who confessed last week to having killed her middle school teacher by proxy (the word “French” is in scare quotes because she’s from a family of lunatic Muslim immigrants living in Paris).

Last October the student began routinely skipping her classes because the French national curriculum doesn’t offer Jihad 101. After spending ditch-day after ditch-day chucking rocks at Hasidics and overturning headstones in Jewish cemeteries, the little angel was suspended from school for repeated truancy. Knowing that this would infuriate her strict, unforgiving father, she quickly whipped up an excuse—an outright lie, in fact—for why she’d been missing her classes: She told her martinet dad that she ditched school because one of her teachers was forcing his students to view blasphemous drawings of the Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him), and little Sharia Twain, not wanting to sully her eyes with such filth, chose truancy over blasphemy.

Of course, Taqwa-na Brawley’s father credulously believed every word his little girl said, in part because in His wisdom Allah has never seen fit to create a Muslim who doesn’t carry a combative chip on his shoulder, and in part because the father just assumed that fitting in as a “Frenchman” means acting at all times like a gullible idiot.
The outraged and IQ-challenged father, Moroccan-born Brahim Chnina, launched a campaign of harassment against the teacher, Samuel Paty. Chnina filed a criminal complaint against Paty, and bombarded the poor bâtard with hateful social media videos. Soon, every mosque in town joined in, because showing caution before forming a lynch mob is not a lesson taught by Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him).

Paty repeatedly informed the father, the school headmaster, and the local police that the accusation was false and the girl in question had not even been in his class, which school records confirmed. Apparently, he assumed that the physical impossibility of her claim would be a defense. He literally believed that facts could defeat fanaticism.

There’s that “acting at all times like a gullible idiot” thing in action!
A week and a half after the false accusation, a Muslim immigrant named Abdoullakh Abouyedovich Anzorov (who’d been expelled from his native Chechen village for stealing all their letters) paid a visit to Paty’s school. He slipped two students 300€ (about $357) to identify Paty as he left for the day. And what teenager wouldn’t assist in an assassination for $357?
Apparently not a French one.
Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz followed Paty down the street and cut off his head and limbs (Pieces Be Upon Him).
Maybe remote learning is safer for teachers.

Soon enough, the schoolgirl’s classmates grassed her out to the cops for faking the accusation against Paty, because the only time teens will do the right thing is if they can $#@! up another teen in the process.

And now everyone’s been arrested: the dad, the girl, the dad’s imam, the paid-off students…all but the assassin, who was shot to death (Lead Be Inside Him).
Writing on Twitter, National Review’s A.G. Hamilton lamented the fact that the girl is facing legal consequences for causing the teacher’s death. “Not sure criminal charges are appropriate,” the “conservative” pundit wrote. “This girl will have to live with this for the rest of her life.”

Yes, psychopaths are terribly sensitive souls. She just needs to sit there and think about what she’s done. That’ll be punishment enough.
Apparently, that “acting at all times like a gullible idiot” thing applies to certain “conservatives,” too.

DOCTOR “HEEL” THYSELF
It’s been a rough few weeks for our nation’s greatest “heroes”—teachers and medical workers. Two weeks ago, the entire school board in Oakley, Calif., was forced to resign after accidentally setting their Zoom conference to “public,” resulting in the parents of Oakley being able to hear exactly what these heroic educators actually say behind closed doors.
After dismissing parents as pot smokers who only want schools reopened so they can “have their babysitters back” (rather refreshing for teachers’-union hacks to be so honest about their skill level), and threatening to “$#@! up” any parents who try to force them back into the classroom, one “hero” suddenly realizes “oh no, this is public!” to which another replies in disbelief, “Nuh-uhhhh.”

And the rest is history. Oakley is home to one of the largest alpaca farms in the state, so there’ll be no shortage of replacement school board members until a special election can be held (alpacas are more intelligent than teachers’-union thugs, and far cleaner).
But those NorCal “babysitters” got off lightly compared with poor Dr. Mitchell Katz. Last week, Katz—CEO of NYC Health + Hospitals and deputy editor of JAMA Internal Medicine—was the invited guest on the JAMA Network podcast. The episode was titled “Structural Racism for Doctors: What Is It?” The idea was to have two white guys debate the existence of “structural racism” in medicine.
No way that could go wrong.
Dr. Katz started the program by explaining that he can’t possibly be racist because oy he’s a Jew and oy his family was Holocausted so many times that oy his father told him to oy nevah be racist because racism leads to Holocaustings OY.

Unfortunately, Dr. Katz—who sounds like he looks like Professor Frink—decided to take the position that many of the disparities in health care are poverty-based rather than race-based, and the medical community should approach those disparities with class- and income-centered solutions instead of racial ones.
Denying “structural racism”? Even Raoul Wallenberg wouldn’t be able to save this Jew.
Making things worse, the nervous, neurotic Katz kept throwing in incomprehensible anecdotes, including one about a “brown-skinned African-American (?) colleague from Canada (??) who wondered why Americans identify by race instead of nationality (???) because in Canada no one cares about race (????).
At that point the topic of the podcast inadvertently switched to “High Jewish IQ: Reality or Myth?”
Needless to say, Katz was immediately denounced by “equity” organizations as a “racism denier” (oy!). The AMA was forced to apologize for the podcast, which was swiftly erased from the ’net and replaced with the anxiety-ridden voice of a new Jew, JAMA editor in chief Dr. Howard Bauchner, apologizing not only for the show, but for the clumsily worded tweet that promoted it on the JAMA Twitter page and the poorly worded description of the show on the JAMA Network site. Bauchner solemnly asked forgiveness for “the harms caused by the podcast and the tweet about the podcast.” “Harms” indeed. Just think how many seriously ill black people will now refuse to seek medical attention because a jittery Jew on a podcast they never listen to sponsored by a publication they never read made some clumsy comments that were live for about 24 hours before being scrubbed.

Because of Dr. Katz, there’ll be a new generation of untreated Tuskegee syphilitics.
The Holocausted has become the Holocauster.
Katz ’n’ JAMAs forgot the first lesson of being a medical professional in the Covid era: If you’re going to do media, confine your activities to lectures about masks and TikTok dancing videos.
After all, that’s what heroes do.

BLACK EDITOR SLAMMED FOR SLANTED COVERAGE AND YELLOW JOURNALISM
It’s an open question whether any teens actually read Teen Vogue. The Condé Nast-owned magazine seems to function as an outlet for adults to publish the most idiotic far-left and sexually provocative drivel imaginable, to an audience of social media conservatives who react predictably with outrage at each new piece of excremental content.

Some past Teen Vogue masterpieces include “Sexting Should Make You Feel Good,” “How to Sext: The Best Tips and Tricks,” “Women Have Always Been a Part of White Supremacy,” “It’s Time to End White Politics,” “***** Liberation Means Abolish the Police,” “How to Get an Abortion as a Teen,” and the Pulitzer-nominated “Anal Sex—What You Need to Know: Anal 101 for teens, beginners and all inquisitive folk.”
Teen Vogue hires only the youngest and most far-left identity-driven social justice imbeciles, which is totally not a recipe for disaster. For surely those committed to enforcing eternal ideological purity tests will never turn on each other.
That must have been the thinking when Condé Nast hired as Teen Vogue’s new editor a proud 27-year-old black (sorry, Black) woman named Alexi McCammond. McCammond has all it takes to succeed in 2021 corporate America: the ability to pose for a photo with a look of black pride and nobility. Armed with that skill—and absolutely nothing else—McCammond has experienced a meteoric rise over the past decade, going from intern to reporter to editor at publications like Cosmopolitan, sites like Axios, and newspapers like the Sarasota Herald-Tribune. Lauded by the National Association of Black Journalists as a “leading voice” and “news leader” (and “leading lead leader”), McCammond covered the Biden campaign for NBC/MSNBC and Axios…until it came out that she was dating Biden’s deputy press secretary TJ Ducklo, who resigned after he threatened a Politico reporter who was working on a story about the relationship.


In between posing nobly and dating psychopathic Biden staffers, McCammond appears to have a weird proclivity for having her drinks drugged by strangers in bars. In a 2016 Cosmo essay, she detailed multiple instances of having her drinks drugged by strangers in bars. At the end of the piece she boasted, “I still accept drinks from strangers.” So in 2019 her drink was drugged by a stranger in a bar.
Clever girl, this one. Almost as clever as the Einsteins at Condé Nast who hired her knowing that she has a history of “offensive” tweets aimed at Asians. Yes, the owners of super-PC Teen Vogue thought they could bring in an editor to oversee the most immature and cancel-hungry newsroom in the nation, and somehow it wouldn’t be an issue that the editor had “racist” tweets.
The “posing nobly” thing works wonders on white corporate bosses, but vengeful millennial zealots don’t get swayed by that $#@!. So, predictably, McCammond’s old tweets about hating “stupid Asians” and the menace of “swollen Asian eyes” prompted a revolt by Teen Vogue staffers after the tweets were compiled and put on blast by Asian-American journalist Diana Tsui, who possesses the striking ability to pose for a hundred Instagram photos with the exact same lifeless expression (it’s literally like she looked at Sandra Oh and said, “I bet I can make my face even deader than yours”).

Over twenty Teen Vogue staffers signed a letter demanding McCammond’s removal. McCammond replied by apologizing for the “insensitive” tweets, pointing out that they were written when she was a teenager. The staffers responded by even more vociferously demanding her removal, as she’d called the tweets “insensitive” rather than “racist.” To which McCammond replied by calling the tweets “racist” and asking for the chance to “earn back” her employees’ trust. To which the staffers responded by linking McCammond’s old tweets to the current “epidemic” of anti-Asian violent crime (and to be fair, she is the same color as most of the assailants).

At the moment, Condé Nast is telling both sides “We hear you,” while privately regretting having ever climbed into bed with “progressive” “diverse” millennials. Likely the best course of action for the company would be to gather all the involved parties at a bar and hope that McCammond’s streak continues and this time everyone’s drink gets drugged…with lethal doses.
NEGRO FANTASY LEAGUE
It used to be a common, clichéd comedy trope to make fun of nerds who spend their time engaging in moot debates like “who’s stronger—Superman or Mighty Mouse,” or “who’d win in a fight—Captain Kirk or Indiana Jones.” The humor comes from the fact that the pathetic dweebs, lacking any real-life accomplishments of their own, find outsize satisfaction in debating the relative merits of fictional characters.
That said, with the fantasy-sports industry pulling in billions from people betting on imaginary teams, it’s become a tad more respectable to obsess over things that don’t exist and have absolutely zero real-life import. But at least fantasy sports is anchored to something genuine. The names are real names of real players. You reach a whole ’nother level of pathetic when you become emotionally invested in a fantasy league comprising things that not only don’t exist, but have zero real-world counterparts.

Did someone say “whole ’nother level of pathetic”? Cue the black leftist “intelligentsia”! With last week’s streaming release of the Eddie Murphy sequel Coming 2 America, some of the world’s greatest black minds are hard at work on the defining question of the era: Which is better, Zamunda or Wakanda?
Yes, two upscale, prosperous, well-governed, peaceful…and completely fictional African nations. And big black brains are locked in a fierce debate over which has the better government.
The BBC ran a lengthy article detailing the Zamunda vs. Wakanda dispute. The various black intellectuals interviewed for the piece agree that Coming 2 America’s Zamunda and Black Panther’s Wakanda are equally “black empowered,” so on that score, they’re both fine places to live, and black people can “take pride” in the existence of both nations.
A quick reminder that neither nation exists.
Gabrielle Tesfaye, a U.S. film director of Ethiopian and Jamaican descent, admits that Zamunda and Wakanda are “imagined states of being,” but that’s irrelevant because they’re both “connected to truth.”
Of course, one could argue that if they were “connected to truth,” the great black thinkers could debate the “true” nations and not the fictional ones.

Former Guardian scribe David Jesudason criticizes Zamunda as “a regressive kingdom, in which women can’t own businesses and male-only royalty is obligatory.” Lindiwe Dovey, film professor at the University of London and head of the African Screen Worlds project, agrees. She worries that Zamunda’s policies might skew people’s perceptions of Africa as a whole. She also laments that Coming 2 America was shot in Georgia instead of on location.
Another quick reminder: Zamunda doesn’t exist. There is no “location.”
Jesudason points out that Wakanda is “a progressive kingdom that had strong roles for women in its hierarchy. It is a nation whose rulers have cut it off from the rest of the continent, while also pretending to the outside world that it is poor to prevent other countries stealing its stocks of the precious mineral vibranium.”
Third quick reminder: Like Wakanda, vibranium doesn’t exist.
Funny (well, unfunny) enough, as the black elites were debating whether Akeem or T’Challa is a better king, in actual Africa, specifically Nigeria, 279 girls were kidnapped from a boarding school by bandits…who released them a few days later. It seems that no one was paying attention to their ransom demands, because even the Nigerians were too busy arguing over Zamunda vs. Wakanda. So the bandits sent the girls home and started planning their next extortion attempt, in which they’ll storm the royal Zamundan palace to kidnap Akeem’s daughters.
The scheme’s hit a small snag, though; the kidnappers are having a hard time finding Zamunda on a map. Surely an oversight on the part of racist cartographers who don’t understand that nonexistent African nations are just as “connected to truth” as real ones.

WRETCH-A-SKETCH
In the 1943 Popeye cartoon Happy Birthdaze, Popeye’s shipmate Shorty is about to shoot himself in the head out of loneliness. Grabbing the gun away at the last second, Popeye tries to cheer up his little buddy by suggesting that they spend shore leave together. It’s Popeye’s birthday, and Olive’s fixin’ up a sumptuous party for her sailor man. Popeye invites Shorty to share the bounty.

What Popeye doesn’t realize is that Shorty’s lonely for a reason: He’s a menace. Self-centered, destructive, thoughtless, oblivious to the damage he causes. He ruins the party, in the process causing Olive to break up with Popeye. In the final scene, an infuriated Popeye shoots Shorty dead. With a gun. The guy who can eat spinach and sock a bull into steaks or flatten a mountain with one punch just goes “$#@! it” and puts a bullet in a dude.
That episode, like so many first-half-of-the-20th-century American cartoons, was banned in the 1960s for its violent content and “negative” messaging (“$#@! the spinach; just pop a cap in any nigga who crosses you”).
Today’s millennial cancelers, like all young people, think they’ve invented the wheel. And indeed, cancel culture as it plays out on social media is novel. But canceling cartoons is hardly new. Warner Bros. and United Artists, for example, began censoring their “racist” cartoons in the 1960s. Nearly a dozen Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies shorts were removed from circulation due to images of African and American blacks that were, well, comically unflattering. Others, like 1946’s Bacall to Arms, were truncated (the only official version in circulation today lacks the final gag in which Humphrey Bogart smokes an exploding cigar that leaves his face blackened like a minstrel).

But it wasn’t just race that got cartoons banned. Animators in the ’40s loved to show characters blowing their brains out (check out this rather ghastly supercut of classic cartoon suicides). In the 1980s these scenes were redacted because pop psychologists decided that cartoon suicides prompt young people to do it for real (if that were true, rightists would’ve long ago launched a GoFundMe to send DVDs of those cartoons to every student at UC Berkeley).
Ever since its inception three decades ago, the Cartoon Network has maintained a laundry list of scenes cut for violence and adult themes. Conservatives have played that game too. When Republican Dan Lungren ran for California governor in 1998, he pledged to “arrest” a comic-strip character—“Zonker” from Doonesbury—for using pot (in the strip). Brian Lungren, Dan’s brother and political adviser, told the L.A. Times, “Zonker’s a real person in our society. He is not fictitious. And we should put Zonker behind bars where he belongs.”

Lungren, who bafflingly lost to Democrat Gray Davis 38% to 58%, should make a comeback with a pledge to invade Wakanda for its vibranium.
Cartoons have always been a target of censorship. Ironically, as Hollywood became more permissive in the ’60s and ’70s, censorship of cartoons increased. So last week, when Disney+ announced that it would be suppressing classic films like Dumbo, The Aristocats, and Peter Pan because of “racist” images, and when The New York Times took a day off from doxing people on Clubhouse to “cancel” Pepé Le Pew as a rapist and Speedy Gonzales as a tool of white supremacy (and when HBO announced last year that its rebooted Elmer Fudd would be banned from using a hunting rifle), we see a tradition that long predates cancel culture.
Why? Why the perennial focus on taking the fun out of cartoons?
There might be a hundred complicated psychoanalytical explanations for what drives nanny staters to attack cartoons, but in the end it probably just boils down to the fact that bitter unhappy soulless insecure scolds hate seeing people laugh.
Those killjoys should spend a day hanging out with Popeye. He knows how to deal with people like that.

[Anti Federalist]

WRETCH-A-SKETCH
In the 1943 Popeye cartoon Happy Birthdaze, Popeye’s shipmate Shorty is about to shoot himself in the head out of loneliness. Grabbing the gun away at the last second, Popeye tries to cheer up his little buddy by suggesting that they spend shore leave together. It’s Popeye’s birthday, and Olive’s fixin’ up a sumptuous party for her sailor man. Popeye invites Shorty to share the bounty.

[Danke]

Sailors are strange creatures, they should probably be locked up

[Swordsmyth]

https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-131/

The Week’s Schmooziest, Booziest, and Ooziest Headlines
SPEAK THE TRUTH, BLAME THE BEDEVILED
Poor Sandy Sellers. The adjunct professor of mediation and negotiation at Georgetown University Law Center found herself in a jam that even she wasn’t able to negotiate her way out of.
Momentarily forgetting that she’s a white person in 2021 America, Sellers told the truth. Specifically, she told the truth about the poor academic performance of her black students.
She might as well have waved a Confederate flag while attending an antebellum-themed cotillion.
“You know what? I hate to say this, I end up having this angst every semester, that a lot of my lower ones are blacks,” Sellers said in a Zoom chat with her Georgetown colleague Professor David Batson. “It happens almost every semester, and it’s like, oh, come on. You know, we get some really good ones, but there are also usually some of them that are just plain at the bottom. It drives me crazy.”

Sellers wasn’t saying she was pleased that a lot of her lowest-scoring students are black. In fact, she made it clear that the situation distresses her. She was merely copping to the truth of it.
Well, you can’t do that anymore. Where did she think she was, Nazi Germany?
When news of the Zoom call got out, Sellers was immediately terminated. In a series of press releases (because one is not nearly enough to address this genocidal atrocity), the university condemned her words as “reprehensible,” “hurtful,” “harmful,” and “racist.”
Not “wrong,” though. For some odd reason the university didn’t say the statements were wrong. Or inaccurate. Or any other synonym for wrong.
The “law school” also suspended Professor Batson indefinitely for the crime of hearing the statements. Yes, it’s now a fireable offense to merely hear someone speak the truth about black academic performance. The university failed to say whether it thinks Batson should’ve stabbed his eardrums after hearing Sellers’ remarks, or whether he should’ve socked the webcam Popeye-style hoping the punch would travel through the ether and knock the racist vermin out cold.
The Georgetown Black Law Students Association called on the university to retroactively change the grades of all of Sellers’ previous black students, declaring that “These racist statements reveal not only Sellers’ beliefs about Black students in her classes, but also how her racist thoughts have translated to racist actions. Professor Sellers’ bias has impacted the grades of Black students in her classes historically, in her own words.”

So Sellers’ stated disappointment that many of her black students score low is what caused her black students to score low, even though they had already scored low before she expressed her disappointment at their low scores.
Georgetown Law: proudly producing the next generation of scat-singing jury-bamboozling Johnnie Cochran BS artists.
Tiffany Wright, a black Georgetown Law graduate who now teaches Whining and Shirking 101 at Howard, told the WaPo that she’s used to people “doubting her abilities and seeing Black people held to different standards than their White peers.”
Indeed. Sellers had expected her black students to grasp the material as the white ones did. An unfair standard, apparently.
“It also has an effect over time on our mental health,” Wright said. “You start to absorb and believe those lies.”

Yes, the black students’ test scores were “lies,” because there’s no way the descendants of traffic light inventors could possibly score low on a test. So therefore the low test scores were caused by the mental health issues of black students who absorbed the lie that they did poorly on a test and that lie is what retroactively caused them to produce the low test scores that prompted the lie that traveled back in time to before the test was taken, depressing their mental state and making them score low.
Even Johnnie Cochran never had the audacity to try a time travel infinite loop defense. Right now the bastard’s looking up from Hell saying, “I’ve never been prouder of my people.”

Watch for an upcoming remake of Stand and Deliver in which the plucky inner-city teacher gives his low-scoring kids automatic A’s and goes out for empanadas. The feel-good hit of 2021.
STIMULUS CHECK YO’SELF BEFORE YOU STIMULUS WRECK YO’SELF
Joe Biden’s $1,400 Covid relief stimulus checks are intended to get America moving again.
And when it comes to motivating inveterate criminals to get back on the horse of inveterate criminality, mission accomplished!
Jeanettrius Moore, an Indianapolis welfare mom and occasional beauty supply store worker who surely could’ve gone to Georgetown Law School if not for the racist thoughts of the professors, was really looking forward to her check. With two different babies by two different daddies, Jeanettrius needed all the help she could get.
Unfortunately, one of the baby daddies had his eyes on those checks as well. Proud black man (and daddy to Jeanettrius’ youngest child) Malik Halfacre was already plenty pissed that he got cheated out of the other 39.5 acres and the mule. So if Uncle Sam was handing out Covid reparations, Halfacre wanted in. Last week, the 25-year-old father of the year busted into his baby mama’s home demanding half of her stimulus check.
As reported by local news station Fox59,

“He wanted some of Jeanettrius’ tax money, stimulus money,” said Wendy Johnson, a cousin. “She had just got her money, and he wanted half of her money. She said, ‘No, you don’t deserve any of this. I work. I take care of our child. You don’t do anything.’ He said, ‘I really want half.’ She said, ‘I’ll give you $450. Take it or leave it.’ He said, ‘I’m gonna get that money.’”

Jeanettrius should’ve heeded the words of Craig from South Park: “Just give him half. Consider yourself lucky he’s only asking for half.” Because Halfacre doesn’t believe in half measures when it comes to lawbreaking. In 2017 he was convicted of shooting a man five times. But he was given a light sentence because Ryan Mears, the county’s “progressive” Soros-backed DA, has a “six bullet holes and you’re out policy” (shoot a man five times, you get a pass. But six? Okay, buster, now you’re lookin’ at three months!).
Over the past year, Halfacre had assaulted Jeanettrius on multiple occasions and slashed the tires of her car. He also shot the car eight times (he got another pass, because the “six holes and you’re out” policy only applies to humans). As of last week, there was a restraining order against him mandating that he not have any direct contact with Jeanettrius.
Implicit in the order, though not expressly stated, was that he also mustn’t burst into her apartment to shoot every sucker in the place. Yet for some odd reason the restraining order failed to prevent that exact outcome. After his demand for half of the Biden check was rejected, Halfacre gunned down Jeanettrius and everyone else in the room, shooting five and killing four (ironically, only Jeanettrius survived, albeit with a bullet in her back).

Soros minion Mears is still counting the collective bullets to determine if this time Halfacre will have to spend more than three months behind bars.


Jeanettrius’ brother Lorenzo, who discovered the bodies, lamented the fact that “they let a monster out of prison”…“they” apparently being the progressive prosecutors who always automatically win big among black voters.
Behold the Biden/Harris magic! $1,400 checks + “progressive prosecutors” + violent felons roving the streets = lots of misery and death. And Biden hasn’t even started his push for slavery reparations yet. By the time those checks go out, Malik Halfacre will likely be free with a dozen new kids and more baby mamas to plug in the back when they don’t give him half.
The greatest irony of the Biden Covid checks is that, at least among the under-30 set, they may end up causing more casualties than the disease itself.
THE CHICKENS ARE COMING HOME TO RAUS!
Don’t you just hate it when a law you advocate in the name of “stopping Nazis” stops you instead?
In George Romero’s Day of the Dead, the villainous Private Steel calls a zombie a “puss-brained scumbag.” Good thing he uttered that slander on U.S. soil, because had he done it in Germany, he’d be in the dock.
See, in Deutschland, zombies have rights. The dead can sue for defamation. Or at least someone associated with the deceased can sue on their behalf…and a good thing, too, as zombies are notoriously bad at assembling their own legal briefs. Plus, they always end up trying to eat the judge, which is an almost certain way to lose a court case (except in Fiji, where courtroom cannibalism results in a default win for the flesh-eater).
German Criminal Code Section 189—“Defiling the Memory of Dead”—states that “Whoever defiles the memory of a deceased person incurs a penalty of imprisonment for a term not exceeding two years or a fine.” The law was passed decades ago to fight the scourge of Holocaust revisionists who question the official 6 million death toll. Essentially, the legal theory is that if you say only 5,999,999 Jews were killed, you’re “defaming” the one Jew you didn’t count.
If claiming that someone thought dead isn’t actually dead constitutes “criminal defamation,” one hopes the German courts never get around to realizing what Easter’s all about.
Of course, since the day that Hitler said, “I think I’ll declare war on the U.S. What’s the worst that could happen?” Germans have been fighting a losing battle against the law of unintended consequences. And last week those unintended consequences were eatin’ away at Sunday Times Berlin correspondent Oliver Moody. Moody, a self-described “Arabist” who used to have a fake ID under the name McLovin, moaned in a March 14 essay that fear of violating §189 was inhibiting his ability to produce a tell-all podcast about Hans Globke, “an official in the Reich interior ministry who became one of the most powerful figures in postwar West Germany and died in 1973.”
Moody fears that the defamation of the dead statute might be used against him, as his podcast paints Globke as the worst of the worst Nazi ever (to be fair, has there ever been a profile of any Nazi that didn’t paint him as the “worst of the worst”? Weren’t there any mediocre Nazis?). On the podcast, Moody describes Globke, a lawyer and civil servant in Nazi Germany, as the man who damn near did the Holocaust single-handedly (again, these days there’s no such thing as a Nazi who wasn’t “the true architect of the Final Solution”), escaping justice after the war only to single-handedly forge the nation of West Germany while simultaneously organizing a domestic anti-communist spy ring and helping Israel develop atomic weapons in his spare time. It’s even subtly insinuated that Globke might’ve killed JFK!
Why Moody thinks any descendant of Globke’s would sue for posthumous defamation is baffling; dude’s made out to sound like the most type A overachiever of the 20th century. It’s only surprising that Moody doesn’t place Globke on the moon with Armstrong and Aldrin. Perhaps the podcast, which was released last week with no known legal objections from Globke’s kin, contains other negative stuff that Moody kept out of his Times piece. After all, no “Arabist” is gonna let the guy who gave Israel the bomb off the hook that easy!
And while Moody bemoans the defamation of the dead law as it applies to himself, he seems perfectly okay with it as it applies to anyone who diminishes the number of Holocaust victims.
After all, the larger in scope the Holocaust, the more opportunity for media hacks to continually crank out newly christened “architects” and “masterminds” behind it.
SPORTS(TRANS)MAN OF THE YEAR
If an American voter frozen in ice in 1986 were defrosted today to find out that Joe Biden is president, he’d likely say, “Good enough; he’s a pragmatic moderate.”
And upon seeing the creature that Biden’s become, he’d likely say, “Put me back in the friggin’ ice.”
Whether or not it’s a good idea for Biden to launch his presidency by ramrodding his two poorest-polling policies—open borders and tranny athletes—is anyone’s guess. Including his, because it’s unlikely that this stale breadstick with a deteriorated hippocampus has any idea what he’s actually doing. But the people telling him what to do, well, they have a hard-on for “women” with hard-ons. As the Biden Administration has made it a top priority to ensure that female athletes are forced to compete against gargantuan dudes in dresses whose footprints while running track would make Bigfoot feel dainty, various states have been taking matters into their own hands to stem the destruction of the very concept of “women’s sports.”
Last week Mississippi governor Tate Reeves signed a bill to prevent men in lipstick from competing against women in school sports. Gov. Kristi Noem of South Dakota is about to sign a comparable bill, and legislatures in twenty other states are advancing similar laws.
These are dark days for starkers who like wiping the floor with female athletes. These are also dark days for SCOTUS Chief Jellyfish John Roberts, who may no longer have a divided enough court to serve as the pro-tranny swing vote when this matter comes before the bench, as it undoubtedly will soon enough.
Worse still for Biden, his masters, and the left in general is that “trannies in women’s sports” polls even lower than those animal-crushing videos John Roberts gave all Americans the right to view. A recent Politico/Morning Consult poll shows that men support a transathlete ban 59% to 29%, women 46% to 34%, and independents 49% to 33%. Startlingly, millennials and boomers are (for the first time ever) united, 50% to 32% (boomers) and 56% to 28% (millennials) in favor of the transathlete ban.
How the hell did that happen? Perhaps it’s because boomers don’t know enough trannies and millennials know too many to be fooled by the notion that trannyism is anything but a pathology aimed at the young and confused. Or maybe it’s because millennials are of the last generation born into a world with only two genders (Gen Zs are evenly split on the matter).
Faced with such large-scale opposition, the translobby recently trotted out what we can assume is its best response to the naysayers, a response likely drafted by the finest trans-minds sitting around a conference table, their willies lopped off, their breasts bound with Saran Wrap, their Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs suits fresh from the dry cleaners. Here, now, is the killer response from these Alberta Einsteins:
Putting men in women’s sports doesn’t mean they’ll always win. Occasionally, girls might still prevail.
That’s the big comeback. Men aren’t entering women’s sports to win all the time. Just most of it.
Noblesse oblige from the female impersonators!
“Cisgender girls can win,” argues Stanford “mental health” “expert” Jack Turban. They just won’t win as much. But take heart, Turban Decay reassuringly explains. Since “the vast majority of female athletes are cisgender,” they will continue to comprise “the vast majority of winners.”
That’s great news for everyone except the “minority” of young women who’ll have to compete against Lulu Ferrigno.
Upworthy’s Parker Molloy counsels female athletes to find solace in the fact that men who are “fairly mediocre” athletes when playing against men will remain “fairly mediocre” when playing against women. Well, that settles it, then! Women need only be concerned about the good male transathletes!
So don’t get so hysterical, ladies. You’ll still be able to beat the men in drag who are nerds and spazzes and dweebs! Just worry about the ones with actual athletic skill. Those guys, everyone pretty much agrees, will make you roadkill.
Biden should use this angle in a PR campaign to sell sportswomen on the transathlete agenda: “Don’t worry, sweeties—you’ll still beat Woody Allen.”
Maybe the president could even get Woody to make in-person appearances promoting that message in the locker rooms of female high school teams across the country.
It’s a fairly sure bet that Woody wouldn’t say no to that. If only all of Biden’s plans met with such little resistance.
DRAWING BLOODS
The year was 1970, a turbulent time for the United States. Antiwar protests, Kent State, the Chicano Moratorium riot in L.A., the black Augusta riot in Georgia. Only one man could bring this nation together in the spirit of brotherhood—Hank Ketcham, the Dennis the Menace cartoonist. Ketcham realized that his overall-wearing neighbor-tormenting scamp had the power to usher in a new age of racial harmony. So he decided to add the strip’s first-ever black character—Jackson!
The interracial friendship between Dennis and Jackson would serve as an example to all mankind.
There was only one problem: Ketcham couldn’t draw a black kid to save his life, so he just copied a turn-of-the-century Sambo caricature, creating an image so offensive, even George Wallace was like, “Aw, hell no.”
In the end, Ketcham did bring the nation together…in unified opposition to Jackson. The strip literally caused a riot, and Jackson was swiftly retired from service.
In the years since, blacks have become ever more touchy about how they’re drawn. In 2017, an Illinois libertarian policy institute was denounced by black and Democrat politicians and advocacy groups for publishing a political cartoon in which a black character had fuller lips than the white ones (truth is never a defense in the cartoon race wars). The previous year the Red Cross was forced to issue a public apology after its poster promoting swimming safety made unwanted headlines. In the poster, a cartoon whale says, “Be cool, follow the rules,” as various cartoon children cavorting around a public pool are labeled either “cool” or “not cool” based on their behavior.
A drowning black child is labeled “not cool,” which might seem baffling at first until you realize that in fact the official Red Cross lifeguard rulebook specifically states that if a child who can’t swim wanders into the deep end and begins to drown, the appropriate response is to point at the child and announce with a stern inflection, “Not cool, kid. Not. Cool.” The child will die with full awareness that his ineptitude lowered his standing in the eyes of his peers.
The drowning-black-boy poster garnered international outrage, and a bunch of satirical memes.
At this point, you’d think that well-meaning nonblack cartoonists would get the message: Just don’t draw black people; you can’t win.
But no. Last month—for Valentine’s Day—the United Nations Women Twitter account posted a celebratory cartoon depicting women in love. White and Asian women were shown happily embracing their significant other…while a black woman was shown off to the side, alone, no mate, hugging herself.
Leave it to the most incompetent, oblivious, and useless organization on earth to not foresee that this would be a problem, that the most prickly, hypersensitive, and easily offended group in America—black women—would find this ode to Whitney Houston’s “greatest love” a genocidal offense.
“Black women have self love, are loved and are worthy of love. Do better and delete this,” tweeted one-woman Somali terror cell Ilhan Omar. And soon enough, the ’net was on fire with sassy and furious black mamas looking to kick Secretary-General Guterres in his principal organ. Of course, the U.N. withdrew the cartoon and apologized.
Now do you think cartoonists learned their lesson? Nope. Last week Chase Bank unveiled a cartoon window display in Burlington, Vt. The wall-size mural depicted white folks shopping, enjoying public parks, and walking with loved ones and children. And then off to the side is a black dude in a wheelchair, drawn as if begging for money from a white man.
The underlying message is “Please entrust your banking needs to people too stupid to foresee that this drawing would cause a ruckus.”

And a ruckus it caused. Chase’s vice president of corporate communications for the Northeast apologized and promised that the display would be removed from all branches.

With so many artists, corporations, and NGOs forgetting the first rule of drawing black people (don’t draw black people), it’s probably only a matter of time before some oblivious doodler realizes that the estate of Hank Ketcham isn’t enforcing the copyright on Franklin and thinks, “This will be a great new mascot for a fried chicken chain!”

[Anti Federalist]

The year was 1970, a turbulent time for the United States. Antiwar protests, Kent State, the Chicano Moratorium riot in L.A., the black Augusta riot in Georgia.

Only one man could bring this nation together in the spirit of brotherhood—Hank Ketcham, the Dennis the Menace cartoonist. Ketcham realized that his overall-wearing neighbor-tormenting scamp had the power to usher in a new age of racial harmony.

So he decided to add the strip’s first-ever black character—Jackson!

The interracial friendship between Dennis and Jackson would serve as an example to all mankind.

There was only one problem: Ketcham couldn’t draw a black kid to save his life, so he just copied a turn-of-the-century Sambo caricature, creating an image so offensive, even George Wallace was like, “Aw, hell no.”





I vaguely remember this kerfluffle, and I'm thinking the second sketch is internet tomfuckery.

[jmdrake]

The year was 1970, a turbulent time for the United States. Antiwar protests, Kent State, the Chicano Moratorium riot in L.A., the black Augusta riot in Georgia.

Only one man could bring this nation together in the spirit of brotherhood—Hank Ketcham, the Dennis the Menace cartoonist. Ketcham realized that his overall-wearing neighbor-tormenting scamp had the power to usher in a new age of racial harmony.

So he decided to add the strip’s first-ever black character—Jackson!

The interracial friendship between Dennis and Jackson would serve as an example to all mankind.

There was only one problem: Ketcham couldn’t draw a black kid to save his life, so he just copied a turn-of-the-century Sambo caricature, creating an image so offensive, even George Wallace was like, “Aw, hell no.”





I vaguely remember this kerfluffle, and I'm thinking the second sketch is internet tomfuckery.

Never heard of this until now. But...believe it or not....both images are genuine.

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/dennis-the-menace/

Lots from this story that I find surpising. First that Ketchem somehow thought the Sambo charecter would be well received by black people. (He seems to have been genuinely intersted in racial harmony). Second, that the replacement Jackson was not well received either but was regarded as a "Stepin Fetchit" character. (I don't see that). Third, that there was that much of a backlash back in the 1960s even in places like Little Rock Arkansas. I have a hard time buying the "I don't know how to draw black people so I'll copy the Sambo charicature" story. But he did seem geniuine so...maybe. The second version of Jackson looks a lot like Dennis, only shaded darker, with different hair and a slightly different nose.

[Anti Federalist]

Never heard of this until now. But...believe it or not....both images are genuine.

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/dennis-the-menace/

Lots from this story that I find surpising. First that Ketchem somehow thought the Sambo charecter would be well received by black people. (He seems to have been genuinely intersted in racial harmony). Second, that the replacement Jackson was not well received either but was regarded as a "Stepin Fetchit" character. (I don't see that). Third, that there was that much of a backlash back in the 1960s even in places like Little Rock Arkansas. I have a hard time buying the "I don't know how to draw black people so I'll copy the Sambo charicature" story. But he did seem geniuine so...maybe. The second version of Jackson looks a lot like Dennis, only shaded darker, with different hair and a slightly different nose.

Well, I'll be dipped...

I recall Charles Schultz took heat for introducing "Franklin" as well.

[Swordsmyth]

https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-132/

The Week’s Floppiest, Stroppiest, and Corn-Poppiest Headlines
SWASTIKY WICKET
It is said that as Hans Frank ascended the gallows at Nuremberg, Joseph Kingsbury-Smith, the lone American press representative at the executions, posed a question: “How does it feel, having ruled all of occupied Poland with an iron fist, sending scores of Jews to their graves, to now be condemned to hang after a trial in which Jewish officials held so much power over you?”

Frank paused for a moment before responding, “Well, you win some, you Jew some.”
Everyone on the scaffold had such a good laugh, they almost forgot to kill him.
That story may be apocryphal (if by “may be” one means “absolutely is”), but it still contains a kernel of truth: Ever since April 1945, Nazi victories have been few and far between, so Nazis gotta take ’em where they get ’em.

That goes for Nazi accoutrements, too.
Last week was a surprisingly good one for New York swastikas. It didn’t start off well; a Harlem native was recorded by security cameras writing a swastika in the snow outside a famed Upper East Side synagogue. Bafflingly, Manuel Barrera, who bears a disconcerting resemblance to Gabby Hayes (“yee-haw, gonna rustle me up some grubenführer”), didn’t write in the snow in the “yellow ink” manner, which surely would’ve been more disrespectful than the finger he actually employed. For the three-second act of scrawling the ’stika, Barrera was arrested and charged with aggravated harassment, because in the utopia that is New York City there are no worse crimes on which to focus.
Sadly, the snowstika melted before Sarah Silverman could arrive on-scene to be outraged by it.
That said, the week ended much better for the despised symbol. The New York State legislature was all set to pass a bill mandating that “New York school children be educated regarding the meaning of swastikas and nooses as symbols of hatred and intolerance.”
From the bill:

As many of our youth are not aware of the hateful connotations behind swastikas and nooses, it is necessary for the legislature to mandate compulsory education in all schools across our great state in regard to the meanings of these two symbols of hate.

The measure was sailing through committees unopposed…until New York’s Hindu residents decided to bud-bud-butt in. Hindu leaders (including the Consul General of India in New York) pelted the legislature with demands that their sacred symbol not be portrayed to children as an icon of hate. In a contentious Zoom call, the peeved Punjabis explained that they were dharmad as hell and if the bill was not rescinded, they’d get their ten-armed elephant/cow/lemur deity to curse the state so that it freezes over in the winter and swelters in the summer as its elderly die in rest homes, its tax base flees, and its largest city falls to anarchy and chaos.
“Too late, Jub-Jub,” replied New York State Democratic chair Jay Jacobs, who was then reminded by an aide of how much money the state’s prosperous Indian-American community pumps into the party. In an abrupt about-face, Jacobs yelled “pull” as the bill was launched into the air and blasted with a shotgun.
“I am familiar with Swastik as a positive symbol of peace, prosperity and good tidings among people of many cultures and nationalities. We in this country have a culture of respecting each other. This bill would have been an affront to that basic premise of American democracy,” Jacobs announced to the press as his party killed the measure in committee. The bill “will not move forward, it will not be advanced in the Senate or the Assembly,” he proclaimed as the victorious Vedics lit up the night sky with burning brides.
Funny how that works. In recent months, whites have been penalized and “canceled” for innocently flashing the “OK” sign because the harmless symbol had been co-opted by trolls as a “white-power dog whistle.” “Intent doesn’t matter!” groups like the ADL declared. A white person might be using the symbol in the traditional, benevolent way, but because it might be confused with the evil, 4chan iteration, those whites must be punished.
But all of a sudden, when confronted by brown people with money, the left learned the value of respecting different interpretations of contentious symbols.

Crazy how nuance and context apply in some cases but not others.
Brown privilege, indeed.
“ME SO SOLLY”
Remember that time in 2015 when a lone hate-filled maniac shot up a black church, and because the shooter once posed for a photo holding a Confederate flag, all reruns of The Dukes of Hazzard were banned because the car on the show had a Confederate flag on the roof?
Did you ever think you’d look back on those days as a time of sanity? Well, compared with where things are now, 2015 was a veritable Age of Enlightenment.
Whereas the Charleston shooting was without question a crime motivated by blatant racial hatred, the recent Asian massage-parlor shootings were apparently motivated by the bizarre, idiosyncratic fever dreams so common to mass shooters (from the “I hate Mondays” girl straight through to the “I’m the Joker” guy in Aurora). But the fact that the Atlanta spa shooter was not motivated by racism isn’t going to get in the way of a new round of idiotic cancellations. And with the shooting still fairly fresh in the news cycle, last week’s tally of “things we can’t do anymore because an incel went bonkers” is likely just the beginning.
Hey—did someone say “incel”? Legendary Games is a major player in the exciting world of RPGs (no, not “rocket-propelled grenades.” That would be cool. This is RPG as in “role-playing games,” as in “fat nerds pretending to be cacodemons). In response to the Atlanta spa shootings, Legendary issued an apology for “racist” and “inherently culturally insensitive Asian-inspired magical spells” that had been included in one of its Dungeons & Dragons game supplements.
In the apology statement, Legendary made it clear that the spells should not have been offered to a gaming community with a “predominantly white player base.” Because the last thing society needs is a bunch of dateless fat-assed socially maladroit losers casting imaginary spells that don’t conform to their race in an imaginary game where they’re playing monsters that don’t conform to their species.
Not to be outdone, Topps trading-card company apologized for a satirical card in its “Shammy Award” Garbage Pail Kids series. The “Shammies” mocked Grammy-nominated artists by portraying them as Garbage Pail Kid-style unflattering caricatures. And one of the lampooned musical acts was BTS. No, not BDS the anti-Israel boycott-divest-sanction movement, but BTS, the Korean boy-band comprising fragile androgynous epicenes perfect for the female American pop fan who wants a boy band that screams “for girls almost ready to go lesbian but not quite yet.”
Topps apologized for the possibility that its BTS trading card might have contributed to the “plague” of anti-Asian violence “sweeping” the nation, although one could argue that a larger contributor is BTS’ crappy music. Topps withdrew the card from circulation out of fear that, in the wrong hands, the BTS card combined with the banned D&D “magic spells” could lead to a Hiroshima-level anti-Asian extinction event.
Funny enough, even Asian-owned firms got in on the apology bandwagon last week.
Apparently, there’s an Asian-owned media company called 88rising (a name tailor-made for people looking for hidden racist messages). Founder/owner Sean Miyashiro describes his outfit as a “hybrid management, record label, video production, and marketing company.” Before becoming 88rising, the outfit was known as CXSHXNLY, arguably the only name on earth that makes 88rising seem like a good choice in comparison.

Last week Miyashiro got it in his inscrutable little head that if BLM could commemorate George Floyd’s death last year with a “blackout” day, in which blacks and “allies” on Instagram posted black squares in “solidarity” with the dead fentanyl freak, Asians and allies should do a “yellowout” day of posting yellow squares on Instagram in solidarity with the dead spa workers.
Sadly, all Miyashiro ended up doing was disproving that whole “high Japanese IQ” thing. Everyone hated the idea. Asians hated being called “yellow,” BLM hated seeing their “black square” idea “appropriated,” and “allies” attacked Miyashiro for choosing a publicity stunt over “concrete action.”
88rising issued an apology, pledging that its yellow-square-posting days were through.
It’s surprising that Miyashiro didn’t try to cast one of those banned “Asian spells” to erase all the hostility directed at his company, especially as he’s got the acceptable DNA for it.
Rather selfish of him to sit on all that Asian magic while white D&D incel wizards are forced to go without.
STEVE ROGERED
Captain America’s gone gay! Look out Red Skull—you’re gonna be Red & Raw Skull once the new Captain America penetrates and injects you with his supersoldier serum. Forget HYDRA—this new Cap needs only one head to subdue his foes.
Yep—Captain America’s coming out for Pride Month, with his original triangle-shaped shield now painted pink.


Except not exactly. Technically, the new gay teen character is a Captain America, not the Captain America. In a limited-edition comic-book series debuting during Pride Month (that’s the month when LGBTXYZs really really really express pride in their identity, as opposed to the other months of the year in which they only really really express pride in their identity), Steve Rogers, the “incumbent” Captain, has lost his shield, so he’s forced to travel the country in search of it.
Great premise; a hero quest modeled after a septuagenarian looking for the TV remote.
In the course of his journey, he comes across other Captain Americas, including a gay teen named Aaron Fischer, a local Captain America who “protects” young runaways in a manner that is probably best left to the imagination.
Marvel is playing up the loafer-lightened Cap to great effect, as if it’s the first comics company to pander to gays. Which it isn’t. To this day, nothing matches the magnificent poofery of 2010’s Foreskin Man. California-based artist Matthew Hess created that character because, according to a 2011 Vice profile, “gay men love a good foreskin.”
Foreskin Man traveled the globe fighting doctors, rabbis, African tribal leaders, and Muslim clerics in a never-ending quest to prevent circumcision so that all gays worldwide would have the opportunity to “love a good foreskin.”
“Gays have more experience with different kinds of penises than heterosexual men,” Hess told Vice. “They’ve seen intact penises in an intimate way so they are one step ahead of the next guy.”
Or “behind.” Get it?
Foreskin Man was discontinued after the ADL sounded the alarm over the foreskinverse’s supervillain character “Monster Mohel,” who steals children’s foreskins in a quest to deprive gay Jews of penis pride.
Now, that was a gay comic!
Yet as the mainstream media celebrates Marvel’s “stunning and brave” commitment to readers who are LGBTQ (as opposed to LGBTO, which stands for lesbian, gay, and Bachman Turner Overdrive), veteran DC comics artist Shane Davis, known for his work on the Batman and Superman books, has a slightly more cynical take on the matter. On his Talking and Drawing podcast last week, Davis explained that the “new gay Captain America” is simply Marvel’s way to weasel out of paying for the creation of a new original character. As Davis outlines it, Marvel’s “work for hire” doodlers get jack spit for riffing on a preexisting character; they’d be entitled to far more compensation for creating a character from scratch. As long as Marvel keeps churning out new iterations of old characters, it can get away with paying its artists diddly.
Industry insider Davis points out that this is why these corporate brands keep doing these black or gay or lesbian or Hispanic or feminist or tranny variations of old characters; they don’t have to pay the artists more than cab fare, and they can use the cheaply produced incarnations to pander to an identity group for a few months, while at the same time ensuring additional publicity from fawning woke reporters and outraged conservative commentators.
This dynamic usually occurs close to the release date of a new Marvel movie or TV show featuring the riffed character. And wouldn’t you know it? The Falcon and the Winter Soldier debuted last week on Disney+.
Wotta coincidence!
Davis sees the entire sordid affair as nothing more than a cynical and manipulative ploy by Marvel to extract money from its salivating fan base.
It looks like even though it’s the new Captain America who’s gay, the fans are the ones taking it up the rear.
BREAKIN’ 3: ELECTRIC ANARCHY
What a year for Florida! Remember the days when if somebody mentioned that state, the first thing that came to mind was a naked transient high on bath salts eating the face off an astronaut in a diaper as an alligator wrestled a tiger for dibs on Caylee Anthony’s drugged carcass?
Not every 2021 political seismic shift is bad. Look at the Sunshine State today, growing so red, Democrats have practically written it off. While other states soiled their britches over Covid, Florida remained levelheaded in its balance of public safety versus individual rights and personal freedoms. Governor DeSantis is on the short list of 2024 GOP presidential contenders (second only to Trump), and as winter ends, Florida seems poised for an immediate post-Covid economic comeback.
Good news all around for America’s wang! The only thing missing from Florida’s recipe for success is a throng of intoxicated young black people, because nothing makes a good thing better than a throng of intoxicated young black people.
Back in the old days, “Black Spring Break” was an event held annually in Virginia Beach. Eventually, it was moved to the Mississippi Gulf Coast (a logical choice as East St. Louis doesn’t have a beach). This year, however, the organizers of “Black Beach Weekend” (the official governing body of Black Spring Break) announced that, due to Covid, Mississippi festivities would be postponed until the end of August.
And America’s young black partyers, known for their abstemious levelheadedness and agreeable temperament, responded by saying, “Indeed, we shall postpone our revelry until such time as the properly ordained public health officials do henceforth deem it uninjurious.”
CORRECTION: They actually said the exact opposite: “If Flurda be open, Flurda where we’ll go…and the streets shall run RED with the shed blood, broken press-on nails, and rended weaves of brawlers.”
And just like that the good people of Miami regretted not being under lockdown.
Responding to “exceptionally large and violent crowds” that city leaders admit “involve predominantly young African Americans,” last week Miami officials imposed an 8 p.m. curfew, as police were forced to use “chemical irritants and high-pitched noises to disperse crowds along Miami Beach’s famous entertainment zone on South Beach.”
The specifics of those dispersion techniques were not revealed, but rumor has it that the “chemical irritant” was the condensed and bottled scent of a library, and the “high-pitched noises” were the screams of a baby in need of child support.
Both guaranteed to disperse a certain type of crowd.
The videos from Black Spring Break (Miami edition) are, to be kind, not flattering. Brawls in restaurants, brawls in the street, diners skipping out on checks, cars stopped cold by noble, proud black twerkers, as other twerkers kung-fu-fight in the middle of traffic underneath the stoplights their ancestors invented.
Naturally, black leaders nationwide condemned the lawlessness and called on black spring breakers to display the dignity and decorum befitting the 1619ers who built this country.
CORRECTION: They actually said the exact opposite. Black political leaders and advocacy groups condemned the Miami police for intervening in the anarchy. Indeed, they claimed that attempts to stop the public violence were “racist.”
Remember last year when we were told that BLM violence was good and permissible because it was in the service of a noble cause?
Yeah, that was pretty much a crock. Turns out that such violence is equally good and permissible in the service of drunkenly tearing up a town during spring break.
For its part, Florida—its road to image rehabilitation temporarily impeded—sent an official message to Mississippi:
“How much do we have to pay you to never cancel Black Spring Break again?”
¡AY YI YIKES!
Welcome to Mexico, where the primary cause of death is the primary.
See, in the U.S., when this or that political or ideological advocacy bloc gets pissed off at a politician, they’ll say, “We’re gonna primary you!” Meaning, “We’ll run an opposing candidate to electorally remove you from office under the right and proper guidelines and conditions of our functioning constitutional republic.”
That’s a few too many words for the average disgruntled Mexican, who’s more likely to respond to a similar situation by simply telling the targeted politician, “I KEEL YOU!”
It’s always been understood by Mexican politicians that they either sell out to the drug cartels or they die. It’s the “gotta kiss some babies” principle, with a south-of-the-border twist (“gotta kiss some narcotraficantes”). It’s something the Mexican people have learned to live with. Hernando gets elected mayor of AyChihuahuateca. Hernando either plays ball with the cartels and lives (muy bueno!) or he opposes the cartels and dies (muy not bueno).
But now, the cartels have started killing off politicos before they even win their election. After all, if the nation’s storied fruit-pickers are expendable and disposable, why not the politicians?.
“Politicians Keep Getting Killed in Mexico,” read last week’s AP headline. And the attached article told a messy story of Messicans being murdered after merely filing to run for office. “Analysts said Monday 18 pre-candidates have been killed so far in the run-up to the June mid-term elections. They were killed before they opened formal campaigns.”
According to the report, potential mayors, governors, and local councillors have been blown up (kablooey bueno), riddled with bullets (pew-pew-pewey bueno), and stabbed to death (arterial spewy bueno). The killings are being carried out by a diverse coalition of “drug cartels, political rivals and corrupt police” who view murder as a cheaper alternative to graft.
Because one of the recently iced candidates was female, Mexico’s National Women’s Institute told the AP that “violence against women cannot be allowed or tolerated in a democratic system.” In theory, one would think that murdering male candidates should also not be “allowed or tolerated in a democratic system.”
Political assassinations are not uncommon in Mexico, perhaps the most well-known example being the point-blank execution of presidential candidate Luis Colosio while greeting supporters at an outdoor rally in 1994. Though blamed on a lone gunman by the corrupt political machine that ran Mexico at the time, independent researchers have long pointed to the likelihood of a conspiracy in the murder, which was supposedly orchestrated by then-President Salinas, who viewed Colosio as a threat to the party’s agenda.
Recent investigations have revealed that Salinas had indeed dispatched two backup gunmen to a nearby grassy knoll, but they forgot their mission objective when their Mexican instinct kicked in and they began to mow it.

With fewer and fewer Mexican politicians willing to run for office due to the current spate of assassinations, many worry that a Mexico devoid of political leaders could deteriorate into a lawless, anarchic hellhole of drugs, gangs, murder, kidnapping, pollution, and despair.
Uh, wait…

[Anti Federalist]

In a contentious Zoom call, the peeved Punjabis explained that they were dharmad as hell and if the bill was not rescinded, they’d get their ten-armed elephant/cow/lemur deity to curse the state so that it freezes over in the winter and swelters in the summer as its elderly die in rest homes, its tax base flees, and its largest city falls to anarchy and chaos.

[Swordsmyth]

https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-133/

The Week’s Most Souring, Glowering, and April-Showering Headlines
TODAY’S SESAME STREET IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE NUMBER 1488
Back in the 1970s, Sesame Street introduced Mr. Snuffleupagus, an absurd elephantine/anteater-esque beast that only Big Bird could see. Oh, the mockery that Big Bird used to endure when he would swear that Snuffleupagus exists, and the other characters would berate him: “There’s no such thing, you silly bird!”
Well, last week Sesame Street introduced a new character that only Elmo can see: Elijah, a well-spoken, responsible black father who stays actively involved in his son’s life and rationally discusses matters of race with nonblacks without resorting to ad hominem diatribes.
Big Bird had a better chance of being believed.
Welcome Elijah and Wes, the new black Muppets. As described by NBC News:

Sesame Street has two new Muppets, a Black father and son, in an effort to help children understand racial literacy. In the promo, Elmo asks why Wes’s skin is brown. His dad Elijah explains how “the color of our skin is an important part of who we are.”

“They see color: Two new Black ‘Sesame Street’ characters explain racial difference to children,” exclaimed CNN in a celebratory headline lauding the push in children’s entertainment to force kids to “see color” (because evaluating people based on anything other than race is racist).
According to the official Sesame Street “racial justice” webpage (yes, that’s a real thing), “All kids need a strong individual and group identity, but racism hurts the healthy development of both.” Wait…“all kids” need a strong “group identity”? Doesn’t “all” include white? Damn…Sesame Street’s gone white nationalist! It’s a literal call to aktion to join the Church of the Creator! (Jokes aside, how long before that sentence gets rejiggered?) The website repeats the line from the promo: “The color of our skin is an important part of who we are.”
Okay, how the hell did Andrew Anglin troll his way into the Sesame Street writers’ room?
In the promotional video, Elijah informs Elmo, “Things on the outside, like our skin color, our hair texture, our noses, our mouths and eyes, make us who we are. Many people call this race!”
Did you ever think that the most Hitlery thing said on television since The World at War broadcast speeches by literal Hitler would be said on publicly funded Sesame Street? “Our race makes us who we are”…the line between woke and based blurs daily.

At one point, Elmo picks up a dead leaf from the ground and says, “This leaf is brown like Wes’ skin.” He then compares the father/son duo’s brown skin to his own red fur.
Yep, that’s exactly what black people love hearing: “Your skin, which looks like this dried-up dead leaf, also resembles animal fur.” Again, jokes aside, how long before this promo gets banned as genocidal racism?
Perhaps the most alarming aspect of the introductory “Elijah and Wes” video is the fact that Elmo and the other Muppets appear to have no idea what black people are. They ask the father and son, “What are you? Why are you brown?” as if this is the first time they’ve ever seen a person of color. Over the decades, there have been dozens of black characters on the show (there’ve been black Muppets as well). Gordon Robinson, owner of the iconic 123 Sesame Street brownstone, was the first character introduced during the show’s premiere in 1969. The character was only retired four years ago. That means that for almost fifty years, the Muppets were literally staring at the guy going, “What the hell’s your deal, you leaf-skinned freak?”
It took Elmo, in 2021, to finally ask, “Okay, what are these brown-colored creatures anyway?”
By the way, it should be noted that the only reason Elmo is voiced by a white person is because the 60-year-old black puppeteer who performed as Elmo from 1984 through 2012 resigned following allegations of having inserted his skilled hands into “puppets” that were actually flesh-and-blood underage boys. According to court documents, puppeteer Kevin Clash favored his teenage lovers with acts of “groping, masturbation, intense kissing, and dry-humping.”

Now that Elmo’s finally figured out what a black person is, perhaps he can help educate the other characters about the meaning of “pedophile.”
NO WHITEMAN, NO CRY
“Hemal Jhaveri” sounds like a terribly serious blood disorder. “I’m sorry, Mr. Perkins, but you have hemal-jhaveri. We can keep you comfortable for a few weeks, but best to get your affairs in order.” In fact, however, Hemal Jhaveri is something far worse than a disease. She’s a scare-quotes “journalist” whose entire career has been based upon either celebrating or condemning people because of the color of their skin. And when she couldn’t find work at Sesame Street, she was hired by USA Today as the paper’s “race and inclusion editor.”
In case there’s any confusion regarding what exactly a “race and inclusion editor” is, it’s a job typically given to women named LaQueeshifer, Guadalupe, Ming-wan, or Hemal by news admins trying to connect with woke millennials, and the job description normally reads something like “Make every story about how white people suck.”
And that’s exactly what Hemoglobin Javelin did after the mass shooting in Boulder a week ago. Without knowing anything about the murderer’s identity, she tweeted, “It’s always an angry white man. Always.”
Sadly for Hemostat, the killer turned out to be an immigrant Syrian terrorist named Ahmad Al Aliwi Alissa (which is the Arabic version of John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt). Across Twitter, people criticized and ridiculed Hormel Jiveturkey for her blatant and factually incorrect racial scapegoating. And in a surprising development, USA Today actually listened. The paper unceremoniously canned its “race and inclusion editor,” much to the surprise of those in the media who hold similar posts.
CNN’s Issac Bailey, a black man who serves as the network’s “race relations creator and facilitator” (one suspects that somewhere there’s a computer that randomly generates these titles), came to Jhericurl’s defense, penning an op-ed for a network that, forty years ago, covered actual news, hard as that is to believe now:

Journalist Hemal Jhaveri recently sent an ill-advised, ill-considered tweet during a particularly emotional moment. Jhaveri’s tweet was tin-eared. It overly generalized a complex and horrific phenomenon—mass shootings—and unfairly targeted a group in a heated moment. There’s no excuse for it. Most of us who frequent Twitter have found ourselves caught up in an emotional knee jerk reaction, only to realize later we’ve taken things a bit too far. I know I have.

Look, “taking things a bit too far” is what “race inclusion diversity relations equity facilitators” are supposed to do. In fact, “understanding and expressing nuance” is the one thing that automatically disqualifies someone from holding such positions. And indeed, Bailey makes it clear that even though Hematosis was wrong, she wasn’t fired because she was wrong. She was fired because the higher-ups at USA Today are microaggressive racists who “canceled” a “journalist” because her errors made them “uncomfortable”:

We are expected to ignore or accept everyday microaggressions and watch White colleagues express themselves in ways we don’t always feel free to. Then, when we speak up, we are called to account for making them uncomfortable.

For her part, Hemorrhage Jedi wrote a bitter piece for Medium in which she explained that even though her tweet was “a dashed off over-generalization” and “a careless error of judgement, sent at a heated time, that doesn’t represent my commitment to racial equality,” she only wrote it because when video surfaced of the Boulder shooter being taken into custody, she studied his facial features and concluded that he was white.

And indeed, what else should a “race realism equitacious inclusivitous facilitationist editor” do if not scan the skin tone, hair, nose, and eyes of suspected killers for proper racial classification?
That USA Today would hire someone like this, for a BS job like that, and not expect her to do a Julius Streicher phrenological examination of newsworthy citizens, is ridiculous. She was merely doing the job she was hired to do: make everything about race.
“Race makes us who we are.” That’s the mantra, from Madison Avenue to K Street to Sesame Street. Regardless of how one feels about “cancel culture,” to fire someone for being racially incendiary when they were hired to be racially incendiary is as insane as the decision to hire them in the first place.
THIRD-WAVE FECULISM
Remember Elizabeth Holmes? She was the plucky 19-year-old woman of the year who built, from the ground up, a sooper-spectacular lifesaving “hi-tech health company” called Theranos. Holmes—being a superwoman and all—had developed a technology that revolutionized blood-drawing and blood-testing. By 2010 she’d raised nearly a billion bucks for her grrrrrrl-powered company, and by 2013 Theranos, with a $10 billion valuation, appeared unstoppable.


Yet stopped it was, primarily (and also solely) due to the fact that Holmes was a con artist who rode her gender, good looks, and fake-deep voice (think tranny Lauren Bacall) to fame while touting a company that couldn’t even remotely deliver on what it promised investors.
“Marie Curie,” meet grand jury. At present, Holmes is awaiting trial on federal fraud charges.
Surely, following the Holmes fiasco, gullible reporters and starry-eyed investors learned their lesson when it comes to pretty young things touting revolutionary biological testing start-ups. But you know the old saying—“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, this is CNN.” Jessica “Sunshine” Richman intrinsically understood that the best way to copy a social justice con is to do it bigger, better, and more ridiculously, because the morons burned by the last one will grasp at anything to prove that the previous con was an anomaly and not the rule.
So several years ago Richman began touting her own revolutionary new high-tech health company that pledged to forever change how mankind looks at…poo.
Yes, whereas Theranos promised new state-of-the-art blood-testing technologies, Richman’s company touted new methods for testing doo-doo. Richman told investors that for just a billion dollars or so, she’d deliver a “direct-to-consumer fecal matter test” that would allow every American to round out each bathroom visit with an immediate “gut bacteria” health update, with a device no more invasive than a rectal thermometer.
Theranos, meet Theranus.
Journalists couldn’t get enough of Richman. She was featured on CNN’s list of the top “30 Under 30” young female entrepreneurs (she was “number 2”). Business Insider included her on its own “30 Under 30” list as well. And Gwyneth Paltrow took time out from marketing her flatulence as an air freshener to tout Richman’s “Fitbit for the gut” on her personal website. Meanwhile, idiots with money to burn threw millions of dollars at Richman as if she were a poop-peddling pole dancer.
For their part, feminist activists praised Richman’s stunning and brave “sisters are doo-ing it for themselves” attitude.
Finally, the specter of Elizabeth Holmes and her fake voice and fake company would be exorcised.
Or not.
Turns out Richman’s business model was far less firm, and far more odorous, than the stool upon which it was built. Her “gut Fitbit” was a hoax. Worse still, she wasn’t even “under 30.” She was, in fact, in her mid-40s.
But at least her voice was real.
Last week, Richman and her husband and partner were indicted on multiple counts of felony fraud. Prosecutors claim that the couple netted over $99 million with their “three turd Monte” scheme.
And while Richman’s fate is likely sealed, somewhere in this great nation a new ambitious young female swindler is exploring the next bodily fluid, secretion, or waste matter to exploit for profit.
Considering that Richman made almost a hundred million dollars on a nonexistent dookie monitor, she’ll be a very hard act to follow.
A “MISS” IS AS GOOD AS A VILE
There’s a scene in the classic Depression-era period piece Emperor of the North in which Lee Marvin’s rail-riding hobo “A-No.1” steals a turkey. Pursued by a beat cop, the hobo leads the officer right into a nearby hobo encampment. The cop finds himself surrounded by a hundred angry transients armed with knives and lead pipes.
Enjoying the power shift, A-No.1, still holding the bird, asks the policeman why he was in pursuit. The cop replies, “Because you stole that turkey.”
“That ain’t a turkey,” the hobo sternly retorts. “It’s a dog.”
Sensing the hostility of the crowd surrounding him (hobos hated cops), the officer meekly replies, “Okay, okay, it’s a dog.”
Then the turkey makes gobbling noises. A-No.1 looks at the bird, and shoots the policeman a glare of contempt. “Look what you’ve done,” the hobo says with a scowl. “Now he thinks he’s a turkey. You better remind him how to bark.”
And with that the hobos force the cop to bark like a dog, louder and louder, to “affirm” the turkey’s fake identity. Once they’ve tormented him enough, they break out laughing and offer the poor bastard a drink.
That film was made in 1973. And it’s unlikely that anyone involved ever imagined that less that fifty years later, tormenting people until they say “a turkey is a dog” would become a national pastime for the left.
Of course, it’s not actually about turkeys and dogs. It’s about forcing people to swear that a man is a woman. Somehow, what started out as “I want to be free to be the me I want to be” has ended up as “I don’t want you to be free to see the me I am.”
Nicholas Meriwether is a professor of philosophy, religion, and ethics at Shawnee State University in Ohio. Meriwether, a devout Christian, has taught at the public university for 25 years with no problems.
Enter a problem: a tranny known in court records only as “Jane Doe.” Jane Doe is a dude in lipstick who decided several years ago that he’s a woman. By all accounts, Doe looks about as feminine as Lee Marvin. But Doe, who apparently took Meriwether’s class on purpose to mess with a person of faith, insisted that the professor call him “ma’am.” When Meriwether would not comply, Doe angrily confronted him after class and demanded to be called a woman. But unlike the cop in Emperor of the North, Meriwether refused, citing the fact that Doe is not a woman. Meriwether explained that common sense, his duty as a teacher, and his faith prohibit him from claiming something to be true that he knows isn’t true.
As if that’s a defense in 2021!
The transturkeydog complained to university officials, who immediately launched an investigation into the professor’s actions. In various meetings held during the course of the “investigation,” Meriwether was attacked by the dean, the department chair, and the provost for his Christian beliefs and his “intolerance” and “hate” for not calling a sir a ma’am. The entire university ganged up on one man just like those Emperor of the North hobos. You must call that turkey a dog! When Meriwether proposed a compromise, that he eliminate pronouns from his classroom vocabulary and simply address his students by last name, the university rejected the offer.
Because the entire episode wasn’t about “tranny rights.” It was about compelling a man to speak against truth, and against his faith. He must be forced to call a man a woman.
Thankfully, last week the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled in Meriwether’s favor. The panel of judges (two Trump appointees and one W. Bush appointee) excoriated the school for attempting to “compel ideological conformity.” The judges found that university officials violated Meriwether’s free speech rights and his free exercise rights by attempting to force him to reject his faith and the evidence of his eyes.
Five years ago, certain canny pundits foresaw exactly this type of court case. And the Sixth Circuit’s decision is just the beginning. These matters will eventually get to the Supreme Court, where the nation will see if Trump, for all his faults, at the very least helped craft a SCOTUS willing to stand up for every American’s right to call a turkey a turkey when a mob demands otherwise.
(KEEPING HELL) HOT FOR TEACHER
America’s unionized public school teachers…the true heroes of Covid. What a brave and hearty bunch of public servants. Whether it’s keeping schools closed for political reasons, or mocking and insulting parents who want their children to receive in-person education, or taking beach vacations while lecturing the rest of us that it’s unsafe to go outside, or turning a blind eye to the horrific rise in depression and suicide among children deprived of the social interactions in-person schooling provides, public school teachers are the best!
These are folks who spend their guaranteed paychecks at grocery stores—not a thought given to the cashiers, baggers, and stock clerks who’ve been coming to work every day since the pandemic began and yet are alive and healthy—and then return home to write theatrically histrionic treatises about how they’re drawing up their will because should they be forced back into the classroom, death will be the certain outcome.
In January, when asked why they were preventing a return to in-person schooling, Chicago Teachers Union officials responded by releasing a video of interpretive dance that is so bat-spit crazy, half the people who saw it assumed it was parody. But it was dead serious. And while in a sane America this “our fluid balletic movements illustrate why we’re ignoring the science on Covid” video would have been the No. 1 topic of mockery among light-night talk-show hosts, in actual America our self-appointed “comedians” greeted it with awed reverence, in part because comedians don’t actually do comedy anymore, and in part because most of the people who pass as comedians came up through public schools, taught by teachers who ensured that they’d have no comprehension of humor beyond “Republican bad!”
Having successfully caused untold numbers of kids to commit suicide with their boarded-up schools, America’s heroic teachers are now moving on to the next battlefield: “critical race theory.” Which is a nondescript term for an ideology that states that “everything bad that ever happened anywhere is due to white people. Nonwhites are innocent little lambs incapable of malice or wrongdoing. Whiteness must be eliminated for the world to ever know true peace.”
While many schools across the country have been slowly adopting critical race theory in classrooms for years, villainous right-wingers have recently become more vocal in bringing the matter to the attention of parents…some of whom are white! And those parents have started objecting to their children being taught that they’re evil because of their race (well, that just proves how racist they are!).
To combat this scourge of wicked Nazis objecting to their children being told that their skin color makes them sinful, anti-racist public school teachers (who understand that the only true anti-racist is one who embraces the blanket vilification of a race) in Virginia launched a Facebook group to target, dox, and harass local parents who oppose critical race theory in the classroom. The group, made up of teachers, school board members, and ideologically allied parents, collected personal information on dissident parents, with the intent of either getting them fired or making them feel afraid of violent retaliation.

Himmler would surely be fascinated by this new incarnation of the SS: a merciless skull-cracking gang of thugs acting in the name of racial tolerance.

Several of the targeted parents went to the police. The Loudon County Sheriff’s Office is investigating the Gestapedagogues, and the district superintendent has denounced the group’s activities.
Pity the teachers…all they want to do is stay home while getting paid while keeping kids uneducated and suicidal and aware that their skin color is what makes them sacred or satanic.

Such benevolent goals. That filthy commoners dare oppose these compassionate heroes only serves to prove how needed they are.

[Swordsmyth]

https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-134/

The Week’s Most Mothering, Smothering, and Othering Headlines
BABY GOT BOUILLON
Public Service Announcement: If you ever build a time machine, don’t travel back to the 1800s to give Frederick Douglass a briefing on the future.
“Such wondrous things you describe! Air travel! Smallpox eradicated! People communicating from one end of the earth to another via small handheld devices that send information through the ether! But tell me…what of my people? What of my good and noble race?”
“Well, Mr. Douglass, when I left they were injecting bouillon cubes into their anuses, but at least they stopped gluing their hair to their scalps.”

“Can you go back in time to before you told me that and…just…not tell me that?”

Yes, the newest craze among women of color has them injecting their butts with bouillon. It’s a fad that began several years ago in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, where large-bootied females are seen as the be-all (rear)end-all standard of beauty. Most Congolese women can’t afford fancy plastic surgery (indeed, the Congo doesn’t have very many fancy plastic surgeons anyway). So for some odd reason (one that likely explains the nation’s lack of Pulitzers), Congolese women got it in their heads that if they inject chicken stock up their rumps, the seasoning and salt will cause the tissue to expand, turning the recipient into every rap star’s ultimate fantasy.

Perhaps King Leopold got a bad rap. Might be that at least some of those deaths were attributable to behavior like this.
There’s a popular song, “Ntaba ya Bandundu,” that celebrates the bubble-butt custom, and there’s a how-to video on the practice, courtesy of Vice. The cubes of choice in the Congo contain iodized salt, sugar, chili, pepper, cloves, onion, corn starch, palm oil, soya lecithin, caramel coloring, and monosodium glutamate.

Congo: the only place on earth where you have to specify “no MSG” before a booty call.
Although, sadly, that “only place on earth” thing isn’t entirely true. The practice has started to catch on in the U.S. And that shouldn’t be a surprise. Remember O’Neal Morris? “She” was the black transgender amateur plastic surgeon who was raking in the bucks by injecting the posteriors of black women with cement and Fix-A-Flat to enhance their bootyliciousness. This “Florida woman” was arrested after one of her patients, Shatarka Nuby, died from the procedure. Dozens of others were permanently maimed by Morris’ cement-bottom treatments (treatments that, it’s fair to say, didn’t exactly help blacks with their swimming difficulties).
So, is there any shock that African-American women are copying the Congolese fad?

It’s gotten so bad, last week a medical doctor named Silas Agbesi issued a plea on Twitter for women in the U.S. and Africa to let their seasoned buns deflate:

Stop pumping seasoning cubes into your anus to widen your buttocks. It is not safe. It can lead to Hypertension. If you crush the seasoning cubes which contains largely salt and inject it into your anus, the lining of the anus would absorb a huge portion of that salt into your bloodstream. Excess salt in the bloodstream is a major contributor to hypertension, especially in Africans. A person, in theory, can develop hypertension from this practice.

Rectum? Hell, it killed ’em.
Whether Dr. Agbesi’s sage advice will be taken to heart remains to be seen. But at the very least, as black women continue to die from the procedure, this is one tragedy Farrakhan can’t blame on the Jews.
After all, no self-respecting Jew would waste that much chicken stock on anything other than soup.

GAILY AFFIRMATION
If a tranny whines in a forest and no one is around to hear it, is anyone a transphobe?
If you’ve spent any time over the past year contemplating the multitude of human tragedies caused by the Covid lockdowns, your thoughts have likely focused on the restaurants driven out of business forever, or the mom-and-pop stores that were forced to close, or the service-industry people put out of work and the children deprived of an entire year of proper schooling. Or the elderly forced to die alone, barred from human contact with relatives.
Well, if those are the stories that concern you, you are one selfish SOB. Because what really mattered during America’s quarantine year was that trannies didn’t get the affirmation they needed.
At least that’s how The New York Times sees it.

“How Do I Define My Gender if No One Is Watching Me?” is the title of arguably the most blindly clueless, oblivious op-ed in the history of the media (at least since “How to Explain Bavarian Hostility Toward Me? Must be Anti-Semitism!” by Eugen Leviné, May 1919). The NYT op-ed, which ran last week, was written by Alex Marzano-Lesnevich, who “identifies” as a “non-binary transgender,” which roughly translates to “It’s impossible to tell if it’s an ugly man who became an uglier woman or an ugly woman who became an uglier man.”


Marzano-Lesnevich is what’s known as a “tilter,” in that one look at “him” will have any normal human tilting their head like a dog, struggling in vain to understand the ghastly puzzle before them.
The op-ed details the unbearable hardships suffered by Marzano-Lesnevich because of the Covid lockdown. See, with so many service and retail entities closed, there were no “normies” to hassle, harass, bully, and berate.

I was surprised by how much my gender instead seemed to almost evaporate. No longer on the alert for how to signal a restaurant’s waitstaff that neither “he” nor “she” applied to me, or for whether colleagues and neighbors would use the right language—devoid of anyone to signal my gender to—I felt, suddenly, amorphous and undefined.

If you’ve ever wondered whether the whole tranny thing is just a way for the attention-deprived to trouble people who are actually contributing to society, that’s a bingo!

Where did my own gender reside, then, if not in sending signals of difference?… How do I define my gender when I—accustomed to how visible my gender usually makes me—am no longer being watched?

Trannyism is literally about being seen. That’s why it’s never acceptable to say, “Hey—you go be whoever or whatever you want; just don’t force me to play along.” You have to play along; that’s the point of the exercise. That’s why the word “affirm” is so prominent in trans theology. Gender affirmation surgery. “Affirmation is transgender support’s first priority.” Affirmation by definition requires two parties, one to be something, and one to affirm it. Trannies are not content to just be; they need everyone else to affirm.

And in a locked-down, quarantined world with no one to condescendingly tell the homely, hairy dude in a dress, “You’re a bee-yoo-teeful lady,” the tranny is left with naught but…himself.

And that ain’t no exaggeration. Self-described “***** and disabled trans man” Grayson Schultz, who’s probably caused enough head-tilting to keep a thousand chiropractors in business for life, lamented last week that the lockdowns have damaged the health of transgenders by forcing them to look at themselves: “The video calls so many of us are now on all day means that trans people are confronted with their image more often, which can be triggering.”
Yep, seeing yourself in that Brady Bunch box on a Zoom call is a rather cruel reminder that you’re Greg not Marcia.
“Gender nonconformists” are a small but vocal minority of Tinkerbells who vanish when everyone else stops believing in them.
Next time you’re asked to clap, consider the benefits of refraining.
JAYNE BOND IN NO TIME TO DYSPHORIA
And speaking of transvolk…
Film buffs often debate which actor best typified the character of James Bond. Connery the swaggering Scot? Moore the debonair Brit? Brosnan the steely Irishman? Lazenby the Aussie? Dalton? Craig?
Wrong on all counts.
It turns out that the member of the Bond franchise who best personifies the spirit of a British superspy isn’t one of the actors at all, but one of the directors: Lee Tamahori, helmer of 2002’s Bond blockbuster Die Another Day.
So what makes Tamahori the real Bond? Is it his bravery under fire? His expertise at counterintelligence? His dedication to queen and country?
Well, the “queen” part isn’t far off.

Tamahori is a dude in lipstick, a tranny who enjoys pretending to be a woman in order to solicit men for sex. In 2006 Tamahori was arrested in L.A. during a prostitution sting. Wearing a black wig and an off-the-shoulder dress, he approached an undercover officer and offered to fellate the gentleman for money.
Congratulations, Lee Tamahori: You’re fully qualified to be the head of MI6!
Richard Moore serves as chief of the British Secret Intelligence Service (MI6). And it turns out that his codename “C” stands for “cis.” Because Moore, though not transgender himself, has decided that MI6 must—for England to survive—devote itself to the tranny cause. Last week Moore hoisted the “transgender flag” (the “Union Jacqueline”) over MI6 headquarters. As reported in The Sunday Times:

Faced with evolving threats from China, Russia and Iran, Moore stressed that a diverse pool of talent strengthened the security services. “We’re proud of our trans and non-binary colleagues and committed to providing an inclusive workplace where you can be your true self,” Moore, 57, said. “Diversity makes us more effective, inclusion makes us stronger.”

Yes, “faced with evolving threats” from two superpowers where the leaders firmly understand that men are not women, “C” has decided that the best counter-maneuver is to chock his intelligence agency full of mentally unstable man-woman-things who wage war not against enemies of the Crown, but enemies of men in a gown.
That’ll show the foes of democracy! Nothing defeats a Novichok-wielding Russian assassin more effectively than shouting “CALL ME MA’AM!” (after all, Novichok is a “binary” chemical weapon. So by definition it can be defeated by those who reject all that is binary).
On the other hand, to be fair, it might not hurt MI6 to encourage the recruitment of androgynous males to counter the Chinese, who, being just barely dimorphic themselves, have an obvious edge in the gender-bender arms race.
The good people of England can sleep soundly tonight, knowing that their freedoms are being protected by people who, when not engaging in espionage, are lopping off various body parts and injecting chemicals to create artificial hormonal changes.
The new James Bonds take their martinis neither shaken nor stirred, but transduced.
PATHOLOGICAL LIES
The last time this much attention was paid to a dead body, Jimmy Savile was popping a bottle of champagne and playing a Barry White CD.

Poor George Floyd, fentanyl freak–turned–Cardiff (gentle) Giant, his corpse, or at least the most intimate details of its biochemistry, paraded around Barnum-style in a three-ring-circus trial and social media sideshow.
Journalists can’t even seem to agree on how many pathologists actually played Operation on Floyd’s cadaver. According to the Star Tribune in an article last week about the Derek Chauvin trial, Hennepin County Chief Medical Examiner Dr. Andrew Baker is “the only doctor who performed an autopsy” and “the only person to perform an autopsy on Floyd.” Baker reported “no physical findings that support a diagnosis of traumatic asphyxia or strangulation.” According to a summary of Baker’s conclusions, Floyd’s heart failed because of “stress, drugs, enlarged heart, and [heart] disease.”

Last June, however, the same Star Tribune that just last week described Baker as “the only doctor who performed an autopsy” and “the only person to perform an autopsy on Floyd” also reported that “Floyd’s family hired two pathologists who conducted a second autopsy that concluded Floyd died of asphyxia.”
So wait, were there two autopsies or one? Seems confusing. Then again, were you seriously expecting any of this to make sense? Hasn’t the response to Covid convinced you that once “science” becomes politicized, it becomes amorphous? It becomes whatever the prevailing political wisdom dictates.
To be sure, there’s much that is murky and incomplete about that “second autopsy.” But what’s funnier is how the prosecutors and political powers-that-be are spinning the inconvenient Baker autopsy. Last week prosecutor Jerry Blackwell told jurors that Baker’s conclusions demonstrate “the limitations of pathology.” Sometimes there’s just “no evidence left behind” of how someone died. Therefore, like any good Monday Night Football commentator, ya gotta go to the video! “I would tell you that you can believe your own eyes that it’s a homicide, it’s murder,” Blackwell instructed the jury, referring to the video of Floyd’s arrest. “You can believe your own eyes.”
To hell with science! Just go by the video. And Blackwell, who at least is being paid to sling cow pies, isn’t alone in pushing the “believe your eyes, not the science” lunacy. Last week, FiveThirtyEight, the blog run by pollster Nate Silver (a man who makes a living by calling elections incorrectly), interviewed Dr. Karl Williams, chief medical examiner of Allegheny County. Dr. Williams declared, “After that video [of the Floyd arrest] we know why he died. But it doesn’t necessarily mean, OK, that there’s going to be any evidence of that.”
Basically, cops are ninjas who are trained to kill without leaving any evidence. Therefore, the video is more important than the so-called “science,” because cops know how to kill without leaving traces. Those damn cops, a pathologist’s nightmare! Indeed, if a cop is accused of murder and there’s no physical evidence to back up the charge, that just means he’s an especially well-trained ninja and therefore deserves even more time behind bars! Lack of evidence of murder means more evidence of murder.
Science!
Leave it to Scientific American—a publication fully estranged from the first word in its title and damn near estranged from the second—to make it clear that if you don’t believe the video over the science, you’re more than wrong…you’re Nazi wrong! In a piece written by twelve morons, most of whom have names that don’t exactly sound “American,” the authors lament that “the law would believe a physician’s report over the reality they (black people) saw with their own eyes, and have lived with their own lives.”
To believe a “physician’s report” over what a black person claims to have seen is, according to authors Shadravan, Tsai, Barceló, Mensah, Roxas, Kung, Misa, and Shen, “white supremacy.”
Well, that seals it! Science is bunk! Truth can only be known when filtered through a black person’s eyes.
So, then…what about all those black people refusing to take the Covid vaccine? Good for them, ignoring “physicians’ reports,” right?

Science marches on.
JEWS COMPANY, TREES A CROWD
Woodrow Wilson High School in Portland, Oregon, was having a problem. Swastikas everywhere! So many swastikas, the school’s Jewish kids couldn’t count them all. Or, you know, photograph them. Or prove that they actually existed. But that doesn’t mean the Nazi hate symbols weren’t real. They were simply “mind”-real as opposed to physical reality-real.
In 2019, so many kvetching schmendricks complained to the school district that officials resolved to take action. And since the school’s namesake was a damn filthy racist, surely it was his ghost that was leaving the phantom swastikas (ghosts are jerks). It was decided that the only way to exorcise the apparitional hate symbols was to change the school’s name.

That was 2019. Then 2020 came, and BLM and Antifa pretty much told Portland that if it ain’t black, send it back! So rather than rename Wilson High after someone Jewish (it’s a great tragedy that Oregon will never know the glories of Buddy Hackett High), it was decided to rechristen the school after a black icon.
It should be noted that the school is less than 5% black.
And so, this year, Ida B. Wells High School was born. It was either Ida B. Wells or Al B. Sure.
Now that Woodrow Wilson High had a new name, a new mascot was needed. The previous mascot, chosen to honor Wilson’s favorite film, Birth of a Nation, was a man in blackface saying, “Ef I doan’ get ’nuf franchise to fill mah bucket, I doan’ want it nohow.” Well, that had to go. And a committee of good, leftist Portlandian whites and Jews slaved…um, make that struggled for weeks over the question: What type of mascot does Ann B. Davis High deserve?
A choice was made: The new mascot would be an evergreen tree!

Evergreens are characterized by the life-giving force of their foliage, the strength of their massive trunk, and the depth of their roots—in an individual tree and as a forest of trees. They provide shelter and sustenance. They have histories that preclude us and will continue in perpetuity after we are no more.

So said the mascot committee upon announcing its decision.
Yet all was not well at Ida ratherB Sailing High. Several among the school’s small minority of blacks brought up a point that no one else had considered (because it’s massively retarded): Black people used to be lynched from trees! The evergreen is a tree. Therefore, evergreens are pro-lynching.
Initially, the mascot committee members tried pointing out that evergreens were never used in lynchings. Their branches are not strong enough to hold a human body. Evergreens are Christmas trees, not hangin’ trees.

In response to those vile expressions of common sense, the protesters pointed to their faces and said “black!” And the whites relented.
The evergreen mascot plan has been put on hold, as all involved parties draw up a list of which trees owe reparations to blacks, and which don’t. While extremist blacks desire to hold all trees responsible for lynchings, just as all whites are responsible for slavery, reasonable blacks only want deciduous trees to pay. There’s been no official comment yet from deciduous trees because they’re trees.

During World War II, the Japanese floated thousands of incendiary bombs over the Pacific toward Oregon. One can only hope that a few of them might still be out there, now that their landing would no longer be an act of war against the U.S., but one of mercy.

[Anti Federalist]

The Week That Perished

https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-135/

Takimag

April 18, 2021

The Week’s Most Smoldering, Moldering, and Soldering Headlines

SMILE FOR THE KHMERA

Remember Jill Greenberg? Probably not by name, but perhaps by deed. In September 2008 it was totally cool for leftists to be hatin’ on John McCain. After all, the evil racist warmonger was running against literal Gandhi Jesus, Barack Obama. Obama would bring peace, Obama would bring prosperity, Obama would end racism! And that crusty old short-armed baby-killer McCain was standing in the way.

Eight years later, of course, a more racisty racist named Trump would bad-mouth McCain, so McCain suddenly became an untouchable, godlike figure. Then he died—best PR move imaginable—and behold a new Gandhi Jesus ascended to heaven.

But back in September 2008, it was all about bringing McPain to McCain.

Jill Greenberg, a far-left artsy pop photographer who often takes corporate gigs because that’s what Marxists do, was hired by The Atlantic to photograph McCain for a cover shoot. Unbeknownst to the magazine or the candidate, Greenberg purposely employed all of her photographic tricks to make the senator look older, uglier, sickly, and unappealing. She boasted about this after the pics were published. She bragged about “tricking” the old man into taking unflattering shots, and how she used Photoshop to mess with the guy’s teeth, eyes, and skin.

She told the New York Post that she engaged in this deception to try to influence the outcome of the election.

Funny to think that these days we live in a country in which people are arrested for “election interference” for merely sending out tweets. Indeed, the war against “interference” and “misinformation” is an unstoppable juggernaut of justice scooping up and locking away anyone accused of improperly influencing an election. Weird how Jill Greenberg got away with something that she herself described as an act of underhanded election interference. Even though the Atlantic editors denounced her scheme, since 2008 she has only grown in popularity and stature, winning numerous photography awards and working for some of the biggest celebrities and mega-corps on the planet.

And while you might not have been keeping track of her mounting successes, other photographers certainly have. Like Matt Loughrey. Loughrey is an Irish Photoshop wiz known for his “restoration” of old photographs. And dammit, he’s always been bothered by the fact that in historical pics of communist atrocities, the victims always seem to look so…glum. Surely these people, about to be executed by the forces of Stalin, Mao, or Pol Pot, should be happy, thankful even, that they’re giving their lives in the name of communist utopia!

So last week, when Loughrey was hired by VICE to “restore” historical photos of Khmer Rouge victims awaiting execution in a prison camp, he decided to “restore” them in a way that, while not “accurate” (or “ethical” or “decent”), perfectly conformed to the manner in which he believes those doomed Cambodians should’ve presented themselves to the camera.

Loughery manipulated the pics so that the soon-to-be-genocided victims have big, happy smiles on their faces!

“Yippee! We’re gonna die for the revolution! How lucky we are! Put one in the ol’ noggin and charge the cost of the bullet to my family!”

Be fair; this kind of deception only helped Jill Greenberg’s career. Why shouldn’t other photogs follow suit?

Sadly for Loughery, internet sleuths almost immediately noticed the manipulation, and VICE was forced to withdraw the piece and issue an apology. Oh, and the government of Cambodia weighed in too, demanding to know why no alarm bells went off when VICE editors saw the photos of Cambodians facing execution with giant toothy grins like some low-rent Chinese restaurant menu caricature: “Yum yum, you likey our lucky best dim sum!”

In fact, a small amount of vetting would’ve saved VICE much grief. Last year Loughery “restored” a series of photos from “Jim Crow America,” and if the VICE editors had taken the time to examine those photos, they’d have realized that there’s simply no possible way Emmett Till actually did a “roll safe” GIF before his death.

Also, regarding Loughery’s “restored” series of Holocaust photos, no, Anne Frank never did “duck face” at Belsen, and Eva Braun did not get into a shouting match with a white cat sitting at a dinner table.

Amazing how photos like that got past so many people without raising concerns about Loughery’s integrity.

CANDID KARMA

Hey, if you liked that previous story, let’s do it all over again, if only to demonstrate how, if the Democrat/media alliance scorns coherence, it loves symmetry.

Remember Scott Prouty? Probably not by name, but perhaps by deed. In September 2012 it was totally cool for leftists to be hatin’ on Mitt Romney. After all, the evil racist warmonger was running against literal Gandhi Jesus, Barack Obama. Long before Romney became recognized for what he actually is—an unprincipled, weak, craven, truckling pseudo-conservative putz—he enjoyed a brief career as Hitler. That was September 2012. That’s also when a bartender named Scott Prouty secretly recorded Romney at a private, closed-door fundraiser.

Prouty’s surreptitious recording, in which Romney spoke of the “47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what” because they’re “dependent upon government” and “believe that they are victims” and “the government has a responsibility to care for them,” almost certainly influenced the outcome of the 2012 election, at least to some degree. The “47 percent” comments were made infamous; every mainstream news network and paper harped on them nonstop for weeks.

Oddly, not a thought was given to whether this possibly illegal hidden-camera recording of a private event with the purpose of destroying a political campaign constituted “election interference.” Weird how no one cared about that stuff back then! In fact, Fox News was slammed by the other networks for not giving the incident the massive coverage it supposedly deserved. “Secret recording or not, illegal or not, a calculated attempt to sway an election or not, the people deserve to know!”

For his part, Prouty claimed that he was driven to action because of Romney’s nonchalant attitude toward Chinese factory workers. He told MSNBC that his main goal was to bring attention to “prison camps in Communist China.”

CNN was so fond of the “47 percent” “undercover video,” the network used it to slam Trump in December 2016, because Trump’s pick for commerce secretary had, back in 2012, defended Romney when the secret recording was released.

The lesson: Secret recordings are good, if they’re newsworthy they deserve a wide audience, it’s against the public interest to suppress them, using underhanded means to sway an election is not “interference,” and dangit them China concentration camps must be exposed!

How odd then that last week, CNN threw a hissy fit when one of its technical directors was caught on hidden camera boasting about how the network intentionally acted as an arm of the DNC to flood the airwaves during the 2020 election with misleading and factually incorrect negative coverage of Trump while crafting Soviet-style propaganda to make Biden look beatific. In a series of videos courtesy of James O’Keefe and Project Veritas, recorded when CNN apparatchik Charlie Chester thought he was on a date, the poor bastard rants on and on about his network’s underhanded attempts at election interference.

Worse still, he brags about how CNN purposely tries to inflame racial tensions by covering up black misdeeds while highlighting any negative crime stories about whites.

And wouldn’t you know it? As CNN and the rest of the mainstream media barked and howled about the evils of “undercover videos” and “surreptitious recordings,” Twitter banned James O’Keefe and Project Veritas from the platform.

So now, secret recordings are bad, if they’re newsworthy they deserve no audience, it’s in the public interest to suppress them, and using underhanded means to sway an election is not “interference,” but exposing the use of underhanded means to sway an election is.

Oh, and the suppression and censorship of the CNN story comes at a time when platforms like Twitter are also censoring content that displeases the Chinese Communist Party…like stories about “prison camps in Communist China.”

Not only is Prouty’s method all of a sudden abhorrent, but so is his supposed “cause.” Indeed, these days if the bartending shutterbug went on MSNBC to criticize “prison camps in Communist China,” if his remarks even made it to air, they’d likely be greeted by an angry tweet from LeBron James.

That CNN, where secret video has gone from heroic to horrific, where the execs rend their garments over the “invasion of privacy” incurred by their employee even as they literally doxxed a meme-maker in 2017, can present these two faces with both of them remaining straight is damn impressive in its audacity.

THE INVISIBLE KLAN

During the heyday of the Ku Klux Klan, the organization liked to refer to itself as the “invisible empire.” Turns out this was not intended to be figurative. The KKK has apparently mastered actual, literal invisibility, which, to be honest, is a pretty impressive feat, especially as it was accomplished in robes that hinder mobility and hoods that obscure vision.

Last week, the Invisible Klan struck twice.

In Michigan, students at Albion College were rocked by racist messages that were scrawled on walls in the Wesley Hall and Mitchell Towers residence halls. The messages were, to put it mildly, not subtle:

“KKK”
“KKK White Power!”
“Albion is racist we do exist KKK”
“Let’s kill all Nigggers on campus”
“White lives matter!”
“Die Nigggers please”

Say what you will about these Klansmen, but at least they’re polite; after all, they said “please.”

Another piece of graffiti featured a Star of David with “666” written in the middle.

Now, certain irritating contrarians in the right-wing press suggested that the over-the-top nature of the messages pointed to the likelihood that the entire matter was a hoax, possibly perpetrated by a black student, as KKK hoaxes so often are. College administrators, however, countered that it was highly unlikely that the culprit was one of the school’s black students because none of the words were misspelled.

Well, never underestimate the ability of a student who got into college based on race rather than smarts to rise to the occasion when circumstances demand. Yes, the racist messages had in fact been written by a black student after all. And he was promptly awarded extra credit for his peerless spelling. The university sent out a message to students informing them that even though the graffiti was imaginary Klan not actual Klan, the actual Klan is still to blame even though an actual black guy scrawled the messages:

We know the acts of racism that have occurred this week are not about one particular person or one particular incident. We know that there is a significant history of racial pain and trauma on campus and we are taking action to repair our community.

The “acts of racism” that were perpetrated by one person are not about one person, because that person turned out to be black. Rather, focus must be maintained on the unseeable Klansmen who are the real villains because by not existing they forced an innocent black kid to pretend they did.

Dastards!

Meanwhile, in upscale, conservative Huntington Beach, Calif., the Invisible Klan struck again. On Easter Sunday, a few crude “KKK” fliers were found on local lawns. Rumors, spread not by the Klan but by an equally insidious tri-lettered org—the ADL—claimed that on Sunday, April 11, the Klan would be holding a rally on the boardwalk. In response, barely functional journalistic Rain Men statewide smashed the pickle jars to free their stuck hands so they could pen hysterical warnings about the upcoming KKK rally.

In a stunning turn of events, the NAACP actually told its members not to turn out for a “counter-protest” because the rally was likely a hoax, and when the NAACP is the voice of reason in the room, you know how low the moron bar has sunk.

Still, hyped by the L.A. Times, the “KKK rally” attracted hundreds of BLM and Antifa counter-protesters, as dozens of cops had to waste their time keeping order for a Klan rally that was, in fact, exactly the hoax everyone with working synapses assumed it was. No Klan showed up.

“I’m at PCH & Main St. in Huntington Beach for today’s KKK Rally. Pretty quiet so far,” tweeted Times mouthbreather Priscella Vega, her hand still bleeding from the gashes incurred when she took a hammer to the pickle jar.

In the end, the Times was forced to admit that there was no known connection between the KKK fliers and the supposed rally. All the same, according to Huntington Beach resident Denise Wada, “regardless of whether it was fake, it demanded a loud response.”

“I can’t be quiet about that,” Wada said. “The point is it’s out there, and racial justice needs a louder noise.”

“It” being fliers that were likely a hoax and a rally that was demonstrably one.

Still, point taken. Invisible Klansmen are a genuine threat. Not the kind of threat that, you know, exists or causes harm, but the kind of threat that keeps cretinous journos and ADL tummlers busy justifying their paychecks.

SISTERS ARE PEW-PEW-PEWIN’ IT FOR THEMSELVES

Minnesota has a new hero: Officer Ditz! Yep, as the state sits on pins and needles awaiting the Derek Chauvin verdict, and as all sober people come to grips with the fact that no matter the outcome, riots will be the inevitable result (Chauvin convicted on most serious charge: “We riot cuz it ain’t about just one cop; you ain’t absolved, whitey!” Convicted of lesser charge: “We riot cuz you let him off the hook.” Acquitted: “Yellowstone caldera triggered; après noir le deluge”), it took one woman, one brave, doughty woman, to look at this powder keg of frazzled nerves and heightened tensions and say, “I think I can make it even worse!”

Yes, Officer Kim Potter, who, during the traffic stop of a 20-year-old black inveterate thug named Daunte Wright, accidentally pulled her gun instead of her Taser and fatally shot the [choose one: honor student/gentle giant/loving father of children he never sees] as he was nobly attempting to flee the scene, because expecting a black man with multiple warrants to submit to a traffic stop in 2021 is Jim Crow on steroids times a thousand multiplied by a million.

When Officer Potter’s mistaken discharge caused a kablammo rather than a zappity-zap, she can be heard on body-cam audio saying, “Holy $#@!, I just shot him.”

Errmahgerrrrrd, I am such a ditz!

Naturally, black people in Minnesota and in cities around the nation reacted to the incident with introspection and rationality, if by “introspection and rationality” one means looting stores and stealing stuff. And city officials in Brooklyn Center, Minn., reacted with the levelheaded wisdom expected of elected leaders…if by that one means they fired the city manager (who happens to be black) for stating that Officer Potter deserves due process under the law.

Due process? Please. Seriously, people, if we don’t bring back racially based lynching, we risk returning to the days of racially based lynching. Due process is Jim Crow on steroids pumped with hydrogen mutated to Godzilla size by atomic radiation and multiplied a billionfold by quantum multidimensional time-gates.

Potter’s “oopsie” is reminiscent of the real-life Three’s Company wacky misunderstanding from September 2018 when white Dallas PD officer Amber Guyger forgot that her apartment was on the third floor not the fourth, so she entered the home of a black gentleman, Botham Jean, and shot him to death because he was sitting in his living room eating ice cream. Officer Ditz strikes again; not only had she mistaken Jean’s apartment for her own, she’d mistaken a black man eating ice cream for an intruder needing a bunch of bullets in his belly to complement the Ben & Jerry’s.

These situations create unfortunate dilemmas for leftists. After all, negative portrayals of female cops as bungling, clumsy “Jerry Lewis meets Inspector Clouseau” caricatures don’t sit well with feminists. On the other hand, BLM activists don’t really care about the gender of white cops. “ACAB” carries no caveat, no asterisk. ACAB applies to Dirty Harry and Pepper Anderson alike.

Hopefully for all involved, the Daunte Wright ugliness will soon be forgotten as the Chauvin trial comes to an end and the nation braces for the one-year anniversary of an apneated angel’s final breath. Speaking of which, just a few days ago Chauvin’s defense team introduced speculative testimony that George Floyd might have asphyxiated via carbon monoxide gassing.

Forget the tensions between BLM and feminists regarding trigger-happy female cops. That’s nothing compared with the dilemma facing the ADL right now. On the one hand, there’s the desire to see a white cop put away for life.

But on the other hand, how can the esteemed Jewish org deny a gassing story? It would be sacrilegious.

Complicated times indeed.

NO TAXES FOR BLAXES

And speaking of the Holocaust…since 1952 the German government has given more than $70 billion in reparations payments to Holocaust survivors and their heirs. “Survivor” in this context is classified as any Jew who was in any way harmed or whose life was in any way disrupted by the Nazis. This can range from a Jew whose family was killed to a Jew whose freshly pressed pants were splattered with mud from a passing Nazi motorcade (“Oy, around the puddle they couldn’t have driven?”).

It’s a wide net.

Federal law dictates that Holocaust reparations to survivors and their heirs are 100% nontaxable (the payments also can’t be counted as income when determining eligibility for federal benefits or services). In 2010, that sweetheart deal was scheduled to sunset, but in 2002, in a bold preemptive move, in stepped Republican Rep. E. Clay Shaw from Florida, who made sure the regs were codified for all eternity, as indeed Germany will certainly be paying for all eternity. So it just makes sense.

“While no amount of money could ever begin to compensate for the suffering of Holocaust survivors, it would be an absolute injustice for these claims to be taxed—when something is stolen from you, you simply shouldn’t have to pay taxes when it’s returned. This bill would make sure that survivors and their heirs will receive full compensation for their suffering, not just for a limited amount of time—but for all time,” Shaw declared in a press release.

Germans who heard that “you’ll be paying for all time” thing shook their heads and were like “Man, we screwed with the wrong people, didn’t we? We shoulda stopped at the Gypsies.”

But at least the Germans were being contemplative. Less so were the Republicans, who never considered that the language used to promote the reparations exemption bill might one day be appropriated by a group whose historical “suffering” and “theft” occurred a little closer to home.

Well, surprise surprise surprise, Gomer! Turns out those who are seeking reparations for black slavery are finding inspiration in exactly those Holocaust reparations tax deals. Democrats have made reparations part of their official platform, with everyone from President “I used to support segregation” Biden to Shadow President “You think that’s bad, my family owned slaves” Harris on record supporting some kind of reparations scam.

One idea currently growing in popularity inside the Beltway is that perhaps the best way to implement a (*cough*) “equitable” reparations plan is to simply excuse black folks from paying taxes. As delineated by Dorothy Brown, a law professor at Emory, “My first choice for race-based reform would be a refundable tax credit…. Under this plan, Congress would assign a single fixed credit to all black taxpayers. A reparations credit is the final piece of closing the black-white wealth gap.”

Over at the Brookings Institution, senior fellow Janet Holtzblatt and research assistant Noah Zweifel—two people who, based on their names, are very likely getting those monthly Hitler checks—argue that using tax laws in the service of reparations is a jim-dandy idea, although they agree that blacks might not be satisfied with anything other than direct cash payments.

Kvetchberg and Schlemielenbaum don’t explain exactly why they think blacks will prefer cash over tax credits, but it almost certainly has to do with the disproportionately high number of black Americans who are non-filers. If you don’t file, things like rebates and credits become irrelevant. As it is, leftist institutions are currently struggling to make sure that the millions of black non-filers get their Covid checks, lest those who don’t pay in suffer the ignominy of not receiving a payout.

Ironically, for the past few decades the IRS has maintained a web page warning of slavery reparations tax scams:

The Service is aware that some taxpayers are attempting to reduce their federal income tax liability by taking the position that they are entitled to a “reparations tax credit” or other similarly named credit because they are a member of a group or class based on race, ancestry, ethnicity, gender or other classification. This position has no merit. Any claim that a taxpayer is entitled to a reparations tax credit or a refund or other tax benefit based on a reparations tax credit is frivolous. Persons who promote this scheme and those who assist taxpayers in claiming tax benefits based on this scheme also may face penalties (criminal prosecution under section 7206 for which the penalty is a fine of up to $100,000 and imprisonment for up to 3 years).

No one wants to be an IRS snitch, but agents might just find a few of those “scheme promoters” pretty close to their own HQ. Like, right up on Capitol Hill and in the White House. And even the most hardened anti-taxation activists probably wouldn’t mind seeing those fraudsters imprisoned or fined into poverty. It would be the first noble deed in the history of the IRS.

[Swordsmyth]

https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-136/

The Week’s Most Gleaning, Preening, and Overweening Headlines
THE PRINCES OF DARKNESS
Spin Doctors reimagined:
One, two, princes kneel before you
That’s what I said, now
Princes, princes who adore you
Just go ahead, now
One has diamonds in his pockets
That’s some bread, now
This one, said he wants to break into your house and beat you to death
Man why ya shoot me? I wasn’t even doin’ nuthin’
Last week was a very bad one for African princes. Not that African princes often have good weeks. At least not according to the emails they send out, detailing their many difficulties retrieving family fortunes or conducting international bank withdrawals.
Uneasy lies the head that wears an African crown.

The first tale of princely woe comes from Southwest Ranches, Florida. When Shenita Jones and Courtney Wilson decided to tie the knot, they also decided to refer to themselves as “royals.” Exactly what royal bloodline the two black monarchs were descended from was not an issue. Apparently, “God” (or crack) told them they were a prince and princess, and that was good enough.
Obviously, this “royal couple” would never deign to marry like commoners at some registry office or storefront church. No, they wanted a wedding befitting their status. Lacking the funds for such an extravaganza (their money problems being further proof of African nobility), they hatched a plan: Scouring real estate notices, they came across a 16,313-square-foot nine-bedroom estate that was on the market for $5.7 million. Posing as potential buyers, the majestic couple repeatedly cased the home, which they thought was vacant. After familiarizing themselves with the layout, they sent invites to their friends promising the world’s finest “royal wedding” at the “royal estate” they’d just purchased.
What the imperial imbeciles failed to realize was that the owner of the estate was still living on the property, in a guesthouse. Nathan Finkel, heir to the IHOP fortune of his father, Abe Finkel, woke up last week to see the citizens of Wakanda amassing on his lawn (you might not know that IHOP’s founders were Jewish, but that’s only because years ago they retired the chain’s original slogan, “Enough With the Pancakes, Already”).
Finkel called the cops and the couple had to spend the rest of the day in a barred setting slightly more familiar to black folks than a million-dollar estate.
But these sovereign scammers got off lightly compared with “Zulu prince” Lindani Myeni. Unlike the previous couple, Myeni is an actual prince of sorts—he’s the nephew of a Zulu king in South Africa (that plus six bucks will buy you a half-dozen items from the McDonald’s dollar menu).
After marrying an American Christian missionary, Myeni moved with his bride to Hawaii, where he traded his tribal attire for Hawaiian shirts, becoming a real Mandingo P.I. Last week, the good prince broke into a random couple’s house in the Nuuanu district, took off his shoes, and started speaking gibberish to the owners (actual gibberish, not isiZulu). Panicked, the couple called the cops, and when arriving officers dared to ask Shaka to leave the premises, he began violently beating them. According to Nanunanu police chief Mork, the exceptionally well-built Myeni, a former rugby player and South African Idol contestant, shrugged off a tasing and inflicted “multiple facial fractures, concussions, and injuries to the arms and legs” of the cops.

Cops who then proceeded to royally blow him away like an Austrian Archduke.
Myeni’s wife, who is white not Asian even though her last name really should be “Chin,” told the local papers that “In Zulu culture you can go to anyone’s house. You can knock on anyone’s door. It doesn’t matter if it’s 8 o’clock, it’s not a big deal. Neighbor are neighbors.”
All the more reason to not live close to Zulus.
South African Zulu political party Economic Freedom Fighters Kwazulu-Natal released a statement blaming the shooting on “white extremists.”
The Zulus possess much ancient knowledge, but they’re a little shaky when it comes to understanding the demographic makeup of Hawaii.

Still, the next time you get an email from an African prince, before discarding it, think of the hardships faced by the African royals who are barred from entering or claiming someone else’s house as their own, and send the poor bastard a few bucks. For just a dollar a day, you can keep an African prince from ruining some innocent homeowner’s afternoon.
HIGH INFIDEL-ITY
And while we’re at it, Afroman reimagined:
I was gonna immigrate to Nice, but then I got high,
Was gonna practice my religion of peace, but then I got high,
Now I’m arguin’ for my release, and I know why;
Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high
I wasn’t gonna kill no Jews, but then I got high,
Didn’t plan on makin’ the news, but then I got high,
Now I’m singin’ the jailhouse blues, and I know why;
Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high
Threw a Jew off a balcony, because I was high,
Told her Muhammad commanded me, because I was high,
Now I’m gettin’ off scot-free, and I’ll tell you why;
Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high
Welcome to France, where the Muslims stone themselves.
Kobili Traoré wanted so little from life. The Malian immigrant to France was like a Muslim version of Bontshe the Silent, the famed literary character created by Yiddish-language playwright I.L. Peretz. After a life of hardship and modesty, Bontshe enters the kingdom of heaven. He’s told that, as a reward for his good life and all the suffering he endured with such nobility, he may ask for anything he desires. Anything at all.
Meekly, Bontshe, knowing that all heavenly riches are at his fingertips, asks only that every morning he be allowed to have a hot roll with a schmear of butter.
Well, move aside, Bontshe the Silent, and meet Kobili the Boisterous. Kobili Traoré defines humble. After immigrating to France and getting all the riches due him by the suicidal indigenous whites—welfare apartment, monthly checks, freedom of worship—Kobili asked for only two things: some pot to smoke every day, and the right to toss a Jew out a window.
Granted!
In 2017 Silly Billy Kobili broke into his neighbor’s apartment. The neighbor, 65-year-old retired physician Dr. Sarah Attal-Halimi, a Jew, probably thought the man had entered to get his hot roll and butter. But no—he was there to beat her senseless and toss her from the window of her third-story apartment. And he did so while yelling, “Allahu akbar!” and “I killed Satan!”
Because this is France we’re talking about here, Milli Kobili was not charged with a hate crime, and no religious motive was attached to the murder by prosecutors. Throughout the trial, occasionally this or that Frenchman would ask, “Zees seems stupeed of us, no?” And then he’d be reminded of his nationality and be like, “Ah-ha-haaa, we are French! Stupeed is what we do best!”


Kobili’s defense team argued that their client only committed the unfortunate act because he was high on the Mary Jane, the wacky weed, the sassy grass. And of course, it worked. He was declared “not criminally responsible” because he smoked pot. After all, pot makes you do loopy things, like eating an entire pizza at 4 a.m. or sleeping through a job interview or defenestrating a bubbe.
Leftists: Pot is harmless and should be legalized everywhere.
Also leftists: Pot will make you Himmler.
Cheech and Chong in Up in Smoke II: Sobibor Stoners.
France’s Jews, unhappy with the court’s decision for some odd reason, bitched all the way up to the nation’s top legal body, La Cour des Imbéciles Suprêmes, and last week that esteemed institution ruled with finality that yes, being high is totally an excuse to javelin an old yenta through a window like Keshorn Walcott.
Following the verdict, France’s top Muslim cleric, Ali Sheidy, was asked by reporters if the decision presents a conundrum for believers. After all, Muslims are not supposed to do drugs. How will France’s jihad-happy Muhammadans deal with the fact that smoking pot has now become a license to kill Jews?
The cleric didn’t hear the question, as he was too preoccupied smoking a giant doobie while sharpening his beheading tools.
SCRAMADAN
While we’re in the Islamic Caliphate of France, let’s stay for one more story.
And speaking of stories…there’s an oft-told, possibly apocryphal tale about beloved song-and-dance man Jimmy Durante. As the story goes, Durante had been arm-twisted by a friend to join him on an early-morning fishing trip, which meant the ol’ Schnozzola would have to wake up before dawn. At 4:30 a.m., the sky still dark, Durante got dressed as his friend came by to pick him up. Grumpy and irascible, as they walked to the friend’s car, Durante shook a tree, disturbing the birds nesting above.
“Why’d you do that?” asked the friend.
The reply: “If Durante ain’t sleepin’, da boids ain’t sleepin’.”
Whether true or not, it’s a funny anecdote about a much-loved entertainer. A less funny and totally true anecdote about a very not-loved group of arrogant barbarous alien invaders goes something like this: Since Muslims are not supposed to drink water on Ramadan, they’ve decided that you can’t either.
“If Muhammad ain’t drinkin’, da woild ain’t drinkin’.”
Evian is a French company that made its name hawking overpriced bottled water. Being in the water-selling biz, Evian’s tweets often highlight the benefits of drinking water.
That sorta makes sense. You know, in a normal world.
But in Woke World, it’s a genocidal atrocity. Last Tuesday, the company tweeted the very innocuous message, “Retweet if you have already drunk a litre of water today.”
Pretty innocent?
No, pretty Islamophobic!
See, last Tuesday happened to fall during the Muslim “holy month” of Ramadan. And during Ramadan, Muslims are not allowed to eat or drink anything during the daytime. What they’re not forbidden from doing, however, is being a major pain in the ass to the rest of the world (if only there were a prohibition on that, a lot more people might get behind this “Ramadan” thing). So when Evian tweeted about drinking water, France’s Muslims, the beheadingest Muslims in Europe, declared a jihad against the company.
Gilles Verdez, a TV journalist and homme de pluie extraordinaire, called the tweet “commercial Islamophobia.” And within hours Evian melted faster than a snowcap turning into a mountain stream. The company apologized for being a water company that advocated drinking water on a day when a religious minority was only drinking water at night.
Surprisingly, this sparked a backlash from Frenchies who are sick and tired of seeing “woke Americanism” imported into their country. When a Frenchman is so craven and cowardly that other Frenchmen call him out on it, well…that really says something. And the CEO of Evian got an earful from French conservatives over his dhimmi truckling. Conservative MP Éric Ciotti declared “let’s stop this madness. How far will this everyday intellectual terrorism go?” Robert Ménard, mayor of Béziers, condemned Evian’s “total surrender” in the face of “increasingly paranoid and intolerant Muslims.” And a commentary in Le Figaro claimed that U.S.-style “woke religion” is subverting French culture and history.
Perhaps in the end, if the French are able to fight the woke wave washing over the West, they’ll do so by marshaling their legendary snobbery and arrogance against what they view (correctly, this time) as an inferior American import.
The French may very well be saved by the thing the rest of the world has long most detested about them. An irony devoutly to be wished.
THIS NATION’S A RACIST HELLHOLE! LET ME IN!
You know how you could tell the attitude toward Jews in 1938 New York from the attitude toward Jews in 1938 Germany? Jews were trying to flee Germany, and Jews were trying to enter New York.
It’s pretty much as simple as that. Universities could draft studies, governments could form working groups, but in the end, airplane and passenger ship ticket sales told the story better than any academic paper.
To New York, Jews were like, “Let us in!”
To Germany, Jews were like, “Let us out!”
Ah, simpler times! These days, “refugees” seem to have the algorithm backwards. Somehow it’s become all about wanting to enter First World nations that are supposedly racist genocidal hellholes while fleeing Third World nations of love and tolerance.
Damnedest thing. It’s almost like it’s not really about which nations are actually “racist,” but which ones can be browbeaten and bullied by accusations of racism.
And speaking of damned things, the United Nations—that rarest of orgs that manages to be both ineffectual and destructive at the same time (as in, sending in “peacekeepers” who don’t keep the peace but do rape locals)—has officially denounced the U.K. for not properly denouncing itself as racist. The melee started last year when, after a fentanyl freak got de-breathed in Minneapolis, the Boris Johnson government decided to form a commission to study the U.K.’s role in the death of a respiratorily challenged bad-check passer in the U.S.
The final report of the Commission on Race and Ethnic Disparities, formally presented to Parliament last week, arrived at two conclusions:
(1) George Floyd’s heart did not give out because BBC America reruns made him addicted to running in fast motion like Benny Hill as “Yakety Sax” played in the background.
England was in the clear!
(2) England, while somewhat racist, is not as racist as some believe. Indeed, the report concluded:

While disparities between ethnic groups exist across numerous areas, many factors other than racism are often the root cause. Among these are geography, deprivation, and family structure. For example, a Black Caribbean child is ten times more likely than an Indian child to grow up in a lone parent household. And disparities exist in different directions. People from South Asian and Chinese ethnic groups have better outcomes than the white population in more than half of the top 25 causes of premature death. Most ethnic minority groups [are] now outperforming their white British peers at GCSE level.
The report does not deny that institutional racism exists in the UK. Rather, the report did not find conclusive evidence of it in the specific areas it examined. It reaffirms the Macpherson report’s definition of the term but argues it should be applied more carefully and always based on evidence.

Well, it’s a good thing the U.N. is too inept to build rockets, or England would once again be facing a Blitzkrieg. How dare the British not condemn themselves as the evil racists they are!
The U.N. Working Group of Experts on People of African Descent (made up of five white guys who’ve seen every Tyler Perry film and a Chinaman who once ate grits by accident) decried the report for “normalizing white supremacy” and “repeating racist tropes.”
The leaders of the U.N. Human Rights Office of the High Commissioner took time out from helping Iran execute gays to denounce the report as “an ad hominem attack on people of African descent.”
U.N. commissioners called on the Johnson government to reject the report and disband the commission.
Unfortunately for them, Johnson happens to be in need of something that can make him look like he still has a spine, having so badly bollixed his Covid response over the past year. Johnson rejected the U.N.’s demand, reclaiming just enough of his dignity to see his poll numbers rise to a level they’d not reached since he actually contracted Covid last year.
The lesson: There are two ways for a world leader to look strong: survive Covid or spit in the face of the U.N.
Now, spitting Covid in the face of the U.N.? Well, that’s a guaranteed reelection-getter right there.


OY! OY! I’M EXTOIMINATING MYSELF!
Picking up on the Jews and Nazis theme, how sad that Joseph Goebbels never lived to see these wondrous times. All the marvels he missed out on: He could’ve written his infamous diary on a MacBook Pro. Custom-designed Nikes could’ve made that clubfoot problem a thing of the past, and Botox would’ve really fleshed out that Skeletor face.
But of all the wonders that a 2021 Goebbels might’ve beheld, nothing would have thrilled the man more than a new innovation from New York City: the self-expelling Jew. From the moment the Nazis came to power, Goebbels’ singular obsession was to make Germany and its territories “Judenfrei.” All the poor guy wanted was an empire in which bagels were a relic of the past and “Yidl Mitn Fidl” was permanently retired from radio airplay. But getting rid of so many Jews was a tiring task. He’d scare ’em away, he’d offer them incentives to leave, he’d even pogrom them into submission, but as hundreds of thousands fled, some just would not go. Goebbels was especially frustrated by his inability to totally clear Jews from his beloved Berlin. Even after forced expulsions and “resettlements” began, there’d always be one or two damn Jews sticking around, mocking him with their presence.

Oh, the headache! 1941 Goebbels really could’ve used some Advil.
Conversely, 2021 Goebbels would be overcome with joy to meet Quinn Mootz, a New York City Jewess with a vision…a vision of a Judenfrei Upper West Side! Mootz is campaign manager for city council candidate Sara Lind, and last week she unleashed a tweetstorm about how the Upper West Side is “too Jewish.”

As of 2018: 10.8% of the population is Asian, 4.1% black, 14.1% hispanic [sic], and 68.4% white. So yeah ima go ahead and say the UWS has a diversity problem. Of your 191,000 residents…. 130,795 are white.”

“Jews are not POC for just being jewish [sic]. sorry,” she added; they gotta go too (more than half of Upper West Side “whites” are Jews).
Time for Jews to begin resettling themselves! Sending themselves to the east! Expulsions are needed, because apparently Goebbels was right: Once a city gets “too Jewish,” it becomes an oppressive Hebraic duchy in which other races and cultures are overpowered, disenfranchised, and neglected. That was Goebbels’ exact point, and it’s Mootz’s as well.
One suspects this would’ve been enough for Hitler to have awarded Mootz “honorary Aryan status” were she leading the charge to de-Jewify Berlin back in the day. But since it’s 2021, she’ll probably have to settle for a Vox or Atlantic column when her candidate loses (NYC pundits have pointed out that it’s unlikely that Lind will win a heavily Jewish district with a campaign manager whose platform is “no more Jews”).
Needless to say, Mootz has received a tremendous amount of blowback on social media and in the press. In response, Mootz has whined that the negative comments are “nasty” and “cruel” and “hurtful.” All she did was say that she wanted fewer Jews in her city, and look at how mean everyone’s being to her!
Quinn Mootz cries in pain as she strikes you.

Honorary Aryan or not, she’s certainly got that stereotypical Jew thing down pat.