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Thread: The Week That Perished

  1. #121
    Quote Originally Posted by Anti Federalist View Post
    But the Anointed Ones toppled the statue of Matthew Baldwin, who was a committed abolitionist.

    And defaced the Mass 54th regiment's marker in Boston.

    The list goes on.

    I think the only point being made here was, yet again, this is Marxist cultural revolution.

    The "Old Order" must go, regardless of who it is, or how much they may have agreed with your cause.

    I suspect that at some point, critical mass insanity will be reached, and statues of Lenin and Marx and Che' will start to topple, because "rayciss".

    In the case of Che', I suppose it's justified, as his animosity towards the Anointed Sainted Negroes, is well documented.
    If that was the point the author was trying to make, then the things you mention are the exactly the kinds of things he ought to have said.

    But instead, he just shoveled a load of hagiographic horse$#@! because it was rhetorically cheaper and easier.

    The whole BLM/Antifa/Woke axis deserves the harshest of criticisms - not the shallow spouting of literally false pieties (and especially not in defense of a man who, at least as much as any other, was responsible for the "reconstruction" of the authoritarian order under which we presently find ourselves).



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  3. #122
    Quote Originally Posted by Occam's Banana View Post
    This is utter nonsense. Being critical of BLM's shenanigans is one thing, but that doesn't justify irresponsibly spewing such ignorant bilge just to score some cheap rhetorical points. Abraham Lincoln did not free "practically every black in the U.S." and there is little evidence that he gave a $#@! about "Black lives." (Indeed, given the death toll of the Civil War, white lives don't seem to have mattered much to him, either - all his pretty words at Gettysburg to the contrary notwithstanding.)

    Lincoln's much-vaunted Emancipation Proclamation explicitly exempted every slave within the Union's purview at the time it was issued, and it applied only to those states (or parts of states) that were in armed rebellion against the Union - meaning that all the slaves in Missouri, Kentucky, Delaware, Maryland, West Virginia and elsewhere were just $#@! out of luck. Saying that the Proclamation "freed" any slaves is like saying that a U.S. President would have "freed" all the prisoners in the Soviet gulags if he had merely written down on a piece of paper a sentence that said, "All the prisoners in the Soviet gulags are hereby released."

    In his first inaugural address, Lincoln announced that he would support the so-called "Corwin amendment." Had it passed, it would have become the 13th amendment and would have constitutionally guaranteed federal protection for the existence of slavery in perpetuo (i.e., forever). However, the secession of South Carolina and other states not long after his inauguration rendered the proposed amendment moot. (But as they say, it's the thought that counts.)

    And then there's Lincoln's infamous letter to New York Tribune founder and editor Horace Greeley, in which he explicitly stated that his sole concern was with preserving the Union (i.e., continuing his rule over as much territory as possible) - and that if he could do so without freeing so much as a single slave, then he would do it.

    Does any of that sound like someone to whom black lives mattered in any way (as opposed to his own political power)? And those are just three examples from off the top of my head. I'm sure that others could be cited to the same effect.

    Not to put too fine a point on it, but $#@! Lincoln. $#@! him with a rusty spike. And just in case anyone thinks it actually needs to be said, $#@! the Confederates, too ... buncha goddam human chattel slavers ...
    Quote Originally Posted by Anti Globalist View Post
    I'd also like to add that in one of Lincoln's speeches that he gave in 1858, he openly stated that black and white people are not equal.
    While I have no respect for Lincoln and know him to have been racist I must point out that the article is speaking to the false narrative that the people now attacking Lincoln believe.
    They did not trot out the proof he was a racist who didn't care about anything but power, they just declared him a racist in the face of the accepted narrative that he was the great emancipator.

    I find it immensely funny because marxists are telling the truth while thinking they are lying.
    Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.

    Robert Heinlein

    Give a man an inch and right away he thinks he's a ruler

    Groucho Marx

    I love mankind…it’s people I can’t stand.

    Linus, from the Peanuts comic

    You cannot have liberty without morality and morality without faith

    Alexis de Torqueville

    Those who fail to learn from the past are condemned to repeat it.
    Those who learn from the past are condemned to watch everybody else repeat it

    A Zero Hedge comment

  4. #123
    Quote Originally Posted by Occam's Banana View Post
    If that was the point the author was trying to make, then the things you mention are the exactly the kinds of things he ought to have said.

    But instead, he just shoveled a load of hagiographic horse$#@! because it was rhetorically cheaper and easier.

    The whole BLM/Antifa/Woke axis deserves the harshest of criticisms - not the shallow spouting of literally false pieties (and especially not in defense of a man who, at least as much as any other, was responsible for the "reconstruction" of the authoritarian order under which we presently find ourselves).
    Your points are valid and ring true.

    I'll dispute them no further.

    Merry Christmas!
    We must picture Hell as a state where everyone is perpetually concerned about his own dignity and advancement, where everyone has a grievance, and where everyone lives the deadly serious passions of envy, self-importance, and resentment. - C. S. Lewis

  5. #124
    Quote Originally Posted by Swordsmyth View Post
    While I have no respect for Lincoln and know him to have been racist I must point out that the article is speaking to the false narrative that the people now attacking Lincoln believe.
    Unfortunately, the article does not merely speak to that false narrative, it actively reinforces it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Swordsmyth View Post
    They did not trot out the proof he was a racist who didn't care about anything but power, they just declared him a racist in the face of the accepted narrative that he was the great emancipator.
    The article made the same mistake in the opposite direction - it just parroted the false but accepted narrative and declared him to be the great emancipator

    Quote Originally Posted by Swordsmyth View Post
    I find it immensely funny because marxists are telling the truth while thinking they are lying.
    And the author is repeating lies while thinking he is telling the truth - or worse, he knows they are lies and is repeating them anyway.

  6. #125
    The Week That Perished

    https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-119/

    Takimag

    December 27, 2020

    The Week’s Most Trending, Offending, and Year-Ending Headlines

    BLACK SWAN LAKE

    The ballet dancers weren’t really very good—no better than anybody else would have been, anyway. They were burdened with sashweights and bags of birdshot, and their faces were masked, so that no one, seeing a free and graceful gesture or a pretty face, would feel like something the cat drug in. —Kurt Vonnegut, “Harrison Bergeron”

    If ballet is one of the few examples of Western art and culture that has, so far, escaped the diversity abattoir, it’s likely due to the fact that not enough people of color patronize the damn thing for any of them to be offended by its “whiteness.” But that might be changing, thanks to the moneyed white leftists who run many of the world’s most prestigious ballet companies.

    Last month, the San Francisco Ballet, America’s oldest professional ballet company, promised its benefactors that it would hire more black dancers in honor of George Floyd, a well-known patron of the arts (indeed, Floyd’s 2020 interpretation of Ninette de Valois’ classic ballet Checkmate, retitled Badcheckmate, had black folks grand-battementing in the streets). Unfortunately, the company could find no qualified black dancers, leading one employee to admit that the “diversity” problem is baked into the art form itself, ’cuz #BalletSoWhite: “With a white classical form such as ballet, there’s a racist history that is fundamentally ingrained.”

    Still and all, it turns out that finding qualified black ballet dancers doesn’t solve the problem. Last week The New York Times featured a page-one exposé of the cruel racist treatment meted out to the only black company member of Germany’s Staatsballett Berlin. Chloé Lopes Gomes, a black Frenchwoman, was damn near genocided by the fact that the troupe expected her to apply the same makeup that the other dancers wear for Swan Lake. As the Times reported, “Until fairly recently, it has been common practice in ballet companies for the female dancers in ballets like ‘Swan Lake,’ ‘Giselle’ and ‘La Bayadère’ to apply a whitening makeup in order to look like beings from another world, be they swans, sylphides, spirits or Shades.”

    When Lopes Gomes was asked to apply the traditional makeup, she balked, calling it “whiteface.” And the Times agreed, claiming that “defenders of these traditions always said that the dancer was simply playing a character. But it was not a valid argument in a context in which one race had oppressed another.

    So apparently because black people were once enslaved in America a French black woman must not wear makeup in a German production of a ballet composed by a Russian.

    Stunningly logical!

    Lopes Gomes has since been dismissed from Staatsballett Berlin, which seems odd considering her team spirit. She told the Times that she has vowed to persevere until there are no more all-white productions of Swan Lake.

    Good luck with that. Ballet dancing plus classical music plus a body of water equals arguably the last thing in the world that most black people want to be involved with.

    PHASE 1: COLLECT UNDERPANTS. PHASE 2: ? PHASE 3: DIVERSITY!

    And on the subject of “thee-ate-er,” last week The Seattle Times, in a glossy Sunday arts supplement, devoted 3,200 words to the exciting, amazing, game-changing, earth-shaking plan crafted by “Seattle theater leaders” to erase racism from the performing arts and usher in a new golden age of diversity. As the Times reports it, “The Seattle theater leaders were starting something different, something much more ambitious, though they didn’t fully realize it yet. They were beginning a process to overhaul the entire ecology of their field, at every level.”

    Sounds amazing! And, as the Times points out, the actions of these “Seattle theater leaders” have attracted national attention:

    Slowly, others around the country are starting to hear about the Seattle effort, now officially calling itself Seattle Theatre Leaders (STL), and watch its progress. If STL succeeds, if this broad coalition of theater makers effectively transforms one part of the arts world in one city, it might just set a standard that can be exported—not simply to other arts disciplines, but to other sectors in America that are struggling with the deep, pervasive and seemingly intractable problem of institutional racism.


    Holy cow, that’s impressive. Now, at this point, Seattle Times readers were probably curious to learn the details of this revolutionary “effort.” What, exactly, is this thing that STL is doing that’s so “transformative”? What’s the “plan”?

    But the Times wasn’t finished hyping it yet.

    “It’s really exciting what’s coming out of and through Seattle—I don’t think there’s another city doing this,” said Nicole Brewer, a faculty member at Yale School of Drama who is in very high demand these days as an anti-racist consultant across the English-speaking world, including a recent job at Shakespeare’s Globe theater in London. “It’s really exciting what’s coming out of and through Seattle as a model not just for others around the country, but around the world.”

    Incredible! Okay, Seattle Times…this is where you should explain the details of “what’s coming out of and through Seattle.”

    Nope, more hype:

    The fact that STL has kept its momentum—and that the bosses keep showing up instead of sending their assistants—is one of its superpowers.

    “Superpowers,” great. But what exactly is it that STL is doing?

    “Having a brave moment,” states the Times.

    And then the article finally gets to the matter of specifics:

    STL is after concrete action and is currently drawing up a list of action items and commitments written by and for local theater makers. The list is still being written and STL as a group declined to share a current draft.


    So…nothing at all. Just a bunch of “brave” Seattle leftists fellating a bunch of fawning Seattle journalists about an amazing plan that doesn’t exist, and those journalists conning readers into wading through 3,200 words just to learn that the tease has no release.

    No substance; just empty words, masturbatory smugness, and wasted time.

    “Diversity” at its essence!

    QU’EST-CE QUE LA CAUSE ET L’EFFET?

    For a nation that prides itself on producing generations of philosophers and intellectuals, France is strikingly ignorant when it comes to the rather basic concept of cause and effect.

    Seriously, Descartes? You couldn’t take five minutes to explain this notion to your countrymen?

    Last week, French authorities were left scratching their heads following the crowning of a new Miss France. It seems that the first runner-up, April Benayoum, is Jewish. And for some odd reason, when Benayoum, who holds the title of Miss Provence, mentioned during the telecast that her father is Israeli, French Twitter exploded with “hate tweets” directed at the 21-year-old beauty.

    A few choice examples (translated into English):

    “Uncle Hitler, you forgot to exterminate Miss Provence.”

    “She should not be Miss Provence; SHE’S A JEW!”

    “Hitler forgot one.”

    “Into the ovens with her!”

    “Death to Miss Provence! Death to Israel!”

    This story has been widely covered by the French media, with everyone from the interior minister to the pageant winner speaking out to condemn the hateful tweets. Oddly missing from every news report is a tiny little detail regarding the offending Twitter accounts. Indeed, whereas some French politicians have tried to blame the anti-Jewish onslaught on the “far right,” one canny Twitterer made the following observation after reviewing the profiles of the “haters”:

    “French far right tweeters do not have Arabic handles or North African surnames.”

    Yep, almost 100% of the abuse is coming from people who are “French” only to the extent that they drove their murder lorries and flew their suicide planes to France from their Muslim nation of origin. The “haters” are Muslim immigrants, and this should come as no surprise to anyone. In a 2015 survey, a whopping 74% of Muslims in France were found to hold strongly anti-Jewish attitudes.

    France’s decision to import a replacement population of Islamic Third Worlders has resulted in hostility toward a Jewish beauty pageant contestant with an Israeli father.

    Bafflement!

    The French, being French, have of course responded to the hostile tweets like imbeciles, by limiting speech rather than immigration. According to The Sunday Times:

    French police were ordered yesterday to track down people who posted a torrent of antisemitic abuse against the runner-up in this year’s Miss France beauty contest. Gérald Darmanin, the interior minister, said that he had “mobilised the police and the gendarmerie.”… The offence of publishing antisemitic remarks carries a maximum penalty of one year in prison and a €45,000 fine.

    French authorities have assured the nation’s Jews that the strategy of continually importing bloodthirsty jihadists but making sure they don’t express their views on Twitter will totally keep the population safe.

    Liberté, Egalité, Stupidité.

    “DUTY, HONOR, COUNTRY” (SCRATCH THE “HONOR” PART)

    With President Biden very likely to give the green light to a whole bunch more pointless foreign military engagements, it’s never been more important for our armed forces to be in tip-top fighting shape. And that doesn’t just mean physically. Mentally, our service members need to be at their peak. After all, the neocons are going to need at least some people with the brainpower to defuse IEDs, fly drones, and monitor Dick Cheney’s blood pressure as he masturbates furiously to the notion of war with Iran (too much exertion could kill him).

    So this probably isn’t the best time for the revelation that members of the current crop of West Point cadets have traded their white shirts for Black Sox. One of the worst academic scandals in the history of that prestigious institution has recently been uncovered, with more than seventy cadets caught cheating on a math exam. West Point officials blamed the scandal on the fact that, due to COVID, all exams have been given remotely since spring. And apparently, the “cream of the crop” future military elites saw this as an opportunity to cheat their asses off whenever possible in order to secure passing grades.

    When asked for comment, John Bolton, wiping away tears of pride, said that “these are exactly the kinds of sneaky little bastards who, if called upon, can totally deceive and sabotage a sitting president who isn’t sufficiently hawkish. God bless these young patriots!”

    Surprisingly, the academy has decided to go easy on the cheaters, enrolling almost all of them in “rehabilitation” programs so they can continue their training. This led West Point law professor Tim Bakken to accuse military higher-ups of “downplaying” the scandal. After all, he argued, it becomes a “national security issue” when graduating cadets don’t have the smarts to “become senior leaders the nation depends on.”

    It’s a little late for those concerns. A 2016 report published in Joint Force Quarterly (National Defense University Press) titled “Officers Are Less Intelligent” found that today’s officers are, well, less intelligent:

    Two-thirds of the new officers commissioned in 2014 would be in the bottom one-third of the class of 1980; 41 percent of new officers in 2014 would not have qualified to be officers by the standards held at the time of World War II. Similarly, at the top of the distribution, there are fewer of the very intelligent officers who will eventually become senior leaders.

    By every measure—SATs, GPAs, and “critical thinking skills”—our officers are getting dumber and dumber. The report blames everything but the most likely reason for the decline.

    In 2003, when the Supreme Court narrowly saved affirmative action from extinction by a 5–4 vote, the court, in its majority decision, cited as proof of the beneficence and necessity of race-based admissions an amicus brief signed by 29 former high-ranking officers and civilian leaders of the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marine Corps. In the brief, the military leaders argued that only by choosing cadets by race and not ability can institutions like West Point produce a “highly qualified officer corps.”

    SCOTUS enthusiastically cited that brief as a primary reason for keeping affirmative action alive, essentially saying, “It’s going so well for the military, let’s keep doing it everywhere.”

    Well, that worked out great, didn’t it?

    Arguably the most unfortunate irony in this story is that the exact type of cadets who could elevate West Point’s academic ranking are also the ones most likely to side with China in any future conflict.

    WONTON HYPOCRISY

    Ah, the Chinese. Is there anything they can’t do? First they give the world a disease that’s killed millions globally and wrecked the economy of pretty much every nation on earth with a name that doesn’t end in “hina,” and now in their grand benevolence they’ve provided a masterful solution to the problem of government officials who order their citizens into lockdown only to disobey their own regulations by eating in fancy restaurants when restaurant dining is banned or traveling home for a big holiday dinner when none of the commoners have that right.

    See, the problem is, a lot of pro-lockdown Democrats have been caught violating their own economy-killing rules. A lot. Like, so many that lists are rendered outdated almost as quickly as they’re compiled. Now, one possible response to public outrage over Democrats who order lockdowns they don’t follow is for Democrats to stop ordering lockdowns they don’t follow, or at least for them to start following the lockdowns they order.

    But that would be too simple.

    Instead, why not entrust the media—a.k.a. the DNC’s public relations flacks—with the task of coming up with a rationalization for why the bad guys are not the hypocritical Democrat lockdowners but the ordinary Americans who criticize the hypocritical Democrat lockdowners?

    Last week the AP, running interference for the chow-downing “you must not chow down in restaurants” Democrats, ran a piece that asked whether “it’s even reasonable to believe politicians should live up to standards many people haven’t been able to follow as the pandemic drags on.”

    In other words, if you’re having difficulty following the Democrats’ lockdown directives, that gives the Democrat politicians who instituted them the right to not follow the directives they instituted. Get it? Your disobedience of laws you didn’t pass means that the people who passed those laws get to disobey them too because if ordinary folks can’t abide by them then why should the people who forced the ordinary folks to abide by them have to abide by them?

    To support its thesis, the AP interviewed Daniel Effron, associate professor at London Business School. Effron explained that the only reason Americans view lockdown-breaking Democrats as “hypocrites” is because in an “individualistic culture,” people are selfishly unforgiving of “inconsistency.”

    “In a collectivist culture (like China), people may forgive the inconsistency if there are explanations for it,” Effron told the AP. “It’s not that people in Asia are OK with hypocrisy. It’s that saying one thing and doing another does not always count as hypocrisy; it’s about trying to do what’s right in different situations.”

    Yes, in Asian “collectivist culture,” saying one thing and doing another just means that you’re “trying to do what’s right.”

    Effron is the coauthor of a 2017 study about how cultures that stress the importance of “interdependence,” specifically China, understand that political leaders who appear hypocritical are merely “other-oriented and generous.” On the other hand, “individualistic” Western cultures cruelly expect political leaders to follow the rules they set for others.

    So we all just need to be a little more Chinese in our approach to seemingly hypocritical—but actually “other-oriented and generous”—politicians.

    The next time you find yourself angered by the fact that you’re banned from eating out, having visitors, or comforting elderly relatives by Democrats who eat out, have visitors, and comfort elderly relatives, just know that your objection to their double standards is nothing more than the result of your infernal Western “individualism.”

    How fortunate Americans are to have a wire service like the AP to clear that up.

    And how fortunate the world is to have an ascendant nation like China, where pandemics are born, as are the rationalizations for why those who make the pandemic rules needn’t follow them.
    We must picture Hell as a state where everyone is perpetually concerned about his own dignity and advancement, where everyone has a grievance, and where everyone lives the deadly serious passions of envy, self-importance, and resentment. - C. S. Lewis

  7. #126
    https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-120/

    The Week’s Shakiest, Bakiest, and Deepfakiest Headlines

    BLACKS BLAST BUSTED BUST
    2020 was many things, all of them bad. It was the year of COVID, the year of George Floyd, the year of riots and looting, the year of economic downturn, the year of mass retail bankruptcies, and the year of dodgy mail-in voting.

    But it was also the year that social justice activists wanted Americans to know that property is, well, just property. From “progressive prosecutors” decriminalizing property crimes in cities across the nation to leftists defending the mass destruction caused by BLM, the message was clear: Property losses are no big whoop, and if you complain about them, you’re a genocidal maniac who prioritizes inanimate objects over human life.

    All throughout the year, politicians and activists lectured the public about the unimportance of property damage. “Black lives matter more than property,” declared the leftist New America Foundation in June, adding that “prioritization of property” and “reverence for property” are “white supremacist” traits, and therefore “destruction of property is a direct challenge to a system built on exploitation and oppression.”

    “Police are putting property over the sanctity of human life!” screeched In These Times that same month.

    The Nation topped them all with a piece titled “In Defense of Destroying Property.” Yes, property should be destroyed, if doing so furthers an important cause:

    What if property destruction is more than an understandable lapse of judgment and loss of control? What if it is not a frustrated, emotional reaction but a reasonable and articulate expression in itself? Refusing to incorporate acts of destruction into the political imaginary of protest deprives these acts of their political power.

    So go out there, you passionate protesters, and smash things!

    Wait, no, don’t smash that!

    Last week, a large ceramic sculpture honoring ventilated black woman Breonna Taylor was destroyed by vandals in downtown Oakland, Calif. The bust, which frankly looked more like Willie Tyler’s puppet Lester than the Kentucky dead girl, had only been up for two weeks before it was demolished. Leo Carson, the obviously sight-impaired sculptor, blasted the vandalism as an “act of racist aggression” and called on police to vigorously find and arrest those responsible. Oakland’s mayor and city council also decried the destruction and ordered the police chief to spare no resources to apprehend those responsible.

    So much for the value and necessity of property destruction as social statement. Suddenly, protecting property isn’t “white supremacy,” but an act of social justice, and vandalism isn’t an act of social justice, but “white supremacy.”

    Odd how those definitions can turn on a dime.

    Similar to how, last week, when loony white dude Anthony Warner blew up some property in Nashville on Christmas Day (after broadcasting a warning intended to prevent human casualties), leftist Twitter denounced the act as “domestic terrorism” because property was destroyed! But literally that same day, when leftist “Earth First” vandals sabotaged three natural-gas pumping sites in Aspen, Colo., depriving over 3,500 people (many of them elderly) of heat and hot water for days during a snowstorm, Colorado officials dismissed the notion that the attack was “terrorism,” because “only property” was destroyed.

    It’s becoming increasingly difficult to determine when one can or can’t destroy property…when vandalism is “social justice” or “Nazi tyranny.”

    But at least the Oakland sculptor has raised almost $30,000 to redo the bust in bronze, promising the city that the new Lester, make that Breonna, sculpture will be impervious to vandalism.

    Good thing Popular Mechanics didn’t publish a manual this summer instructing activists in how to demolish bronze sculptures.

    Oh, $#@!…

    THESE BEASTS SHALL FART NO MORE
    It’s always been understood that “global warming” alarmists have no regard for human life. Indeed, they see humans as parasites who are slowly killing “Mother Earth” with their insidious love of electricity and transportation and using technology to improve living conditions around the globe. “Green” activists would rather see large swaths of humans die off from curable and preventable diseases than allow developing nations to use insecticides, air-conditioning, or nuclear power.

    There’s never been much doubt that at the core of the “green agenda” is the notion that this ol’ planet would be just super if not for the people. But it was always assumed that animals get a free pass, that the targets of the depopulation campaign are humans and not mankind’s four-legged friends. After all, what’s the point of saving the earth if only plants get to enjoy it?

    Environmental wackos have long beefed about cow and deer farts, which are supposedly warming the atmosphere like John Goodman on taco night. But surely that’s no reason to send the poor beasts to Cowschwitz.

    Think again. Last week in Portugal, construction of a gigantic “solar power park” with 650,000 panels began with the slaughtering of an entire forest. “Green energy” hucksters had handpicked a large estate in Azambuja (a district in Lisbon) for their solar panel monstrosity. The only problem was, the estate was an officially designated ecological reserve, teeming with wildlife. So in the name of saving the planet, the “greenies” contracted with a team of Spanish hunters to go into the reserve and shoot the living $#@! out of everything that moves. And since the reserve had been walled in to protect the animals from poachers, once the “cull” started, the animals had nowhere to run, leading one Azambuja councilman to describe the affair as a “massacre.”

    Over 540 animals—mostly farting deer and burping boar—were killed by sixteen hunters (greenies don’t mind “toxic masculinity” when it can be used in the service of a canned hunt to save the earth). Rumor has it that each kill shot was accompanied by a recording of Greta Thunberg telling the animals, “How dare you!”

    Furious members of the Portuguese Institute for Nature Conservation and Forests complained that they had not given the okay to the hunt. Responding to the furor over the mass killing, the Portuguese environmental agency APA agreed to reevaluate its approval of the solar park. In response, the charlatans behind the project promised the APA that from now on they’d work to “preserve the biodiversity” of the area.

    A little late for that, although there might still be a frog or two on the grounds of the estate.

    Do frog farts cause global warming? Quick, someone contact AOC for her expert opinion.

    “GODADDY BLESS US, EVERY ONE”
    This Christmas, as Americans were doing their best to have a pleasant holiday in the face of the crippling economic and societal devastation wrought by COVID lockdowns, the 7,000 employees of tech giant GoDaddy were treated to the best-ever real-life version of A Christmas Carol…with a slightly revised ending.

    GoDaddy, the Scottsdale-based domain registrar and hosting site, has long trumpeted its “social justice” cred. With its average yearly revenue of around $3 billion, GoDaddy isn’t just some faceless mega-corp. No, GoDaddy is the corporation that cares! Its website trumpets the company’s devotion to its “diverse” employees: “Nurturing a culture of diversity and inclusion is woven into the fabric of GoDaddy. Employees’ unique experiences enrich everything we do. And at the end of the day, diverse teams make us better. Allyship is an important part of GoDaddy.”

    Stunning and brave!

    After George Floyd had his SSL certificate permanently revoked in May, GoDaddy threw itself headfirst into BLM-mania, holding a roundtable discussion with BLM militants covering “when to use the terms ‘POC’ vs ‘Black’, and the significance of the ‘American Dream’ and if that idea still is indeed a reality for black communities in this country.” The tech giant also pledged to continue to cancel the domain registrations of “racist” sites.

    Brave and stunning!

    “We stand with the entire Black community and are committed to doing our part as we strive toward racial equity and justice,” the company tweeted on June 3, adding that GoDaddy was “matching employee donations to non-profit organizations dedicated to racial equality and social justice.”

    Those 7,000 employees were “nudged” to give, give, give to leftist organizations, no matter the fact that the pandemic had put discretionary cash in short supply for most people. “Donate even if it hurts” was the crux of the company’s message; nothing’s more important than BLM!

    But, wouldn’t you know it, that magnanimous spirit of giving didn’t extend to the company’s attitude toward those very same employees. At the beginning of December, GoDaddy let its peons know that there’d be no Christmas bonuses this year. Sorry, folks. You having a happy holiday isn’t as important as us funneling money to Democrat front groups.

    But then, on Dec. 14, a miracle occurred! GoDaddy sent its workers an email stating that HQ had undergone a wondrous change of heart: There would be Christmas bonuses after all! $650 for everyone! Employees were asked to fill out a brief online form to collect their bounty.

    GoDaddy employees began celebrating in the streets, singing “Thank You Very Much” from the climax of the 1970 film Scrooge.

    And then the bosses revealed the truth: The email had been a hoax from corporate HQ, purposely sent to all employees to see who’d fall for it, as a way to teach them a lesson about “phishing” scams.

    GoDaddy, the social justice company, quite literally tortured its depressed and deprived workers with a bait-and-switch prank designed to falsely raise their hopes and spirits at Christmastime, as part of an internal test of employee gullibility. This is the revised ending of Christmas Carol in which Scrooge tells the debtors he forgave that he was just $#@!ing with them and they still owe, as he fires Bob Cratchit, kicks Tiny Tim in the shins, and spends the day laughing at all the suicides he caused, as Jacob Marley screams up from hell, “You dick.”

    For domain owners who might want to teach GoDaddy’s execs a Christmas lesson of their own, you can find their No. 1 competitor, NameCheap, here.

    WOK-COOKING THE BOOKS
    Nobody doubts that the Chinese are excellent at math. One need only view the SAT scores of Chinese college applicants to know that these folks are pretty damn good with numbers. Unfortunately, the Chinese are also pretty damn good at distorting numbers. The death toll of Mao’s Great Leap Forward and Cultural Revolution is generally believed to be between 60 and 80 million. When Deng Xiaoping released the “official” figures of Mao-caused deaths following the Chairman’s demise in 1976, he put the total at a paltry 16.5 million. Since then, it’s declined steadily, with current Chinese president Xi Jinping reportedly putting the figure at somewhere around a hundred or so (and they all died from overstuffed bellies from all the amazing food that was grown courtesy of Mao’s brilliant collectivization policies).

    Bottom line: Numbers from China are not to be trusted; people who know math that well are also expertly equipped to convincingly fudge their figures.

    Remember Wuhan? Remember how the Chinese government boasted about its amazing COVID containment procedures there? Well, it turns out—to absolutely no one’s surprise except American journalists—that the Chinese engaged in some very creative abacus-ing with those Wuhan figures. It appears that, at the beginning of the pandemic, over ten times as many Wuhanians were infected with the bug than Chinese officials first reported. And apparently the Chinese Center for Disease Control and Prevention knew those actual infection numbers back in April, but didn’t make them public until last week.

    Fortunately, COVID officials in the U.S. aren’t as deceptive…except when they are, which is usually. As when Fauci the Magnificent admitted last week that he’d purposely withheld his “actual” herd immunity projections from the public because the ordinary saps “weren’t ready to hear them yet.” At least Chinese CDC officials have the excuse that they’ll be sent to labor camps if they don’t do the government’s propagandistic bidding. All Fauci is risking is whether his biopic starring Al Pacino gets a theatrical release or goes straight to streaming.

    Funny enough, back in June, the U.S. press used those phony Wuhan figures to lecture Americans for not doing as well at containment as the noble Chinese. “U.S. response to COVID-19 is worse than China’s. 100 times worse,” scolded Time magazine on June 10.

    When asked if Time would be issuing a retraction in light of the amended Chinese figures, a spokesman for the venerable newsmagazine donned a sombrero and fake mustache and said, “No comprende, señor. I just thee gardener here.”

    Displaying a dexterity at spinning worthy of the Yinchuan Acrobatic Troupe, the Chinese CDC used its fudged figures as yet another reason to brag, explaining that the fact that so many more people than initially thought had been infected makes the defeat of COVID in China all the more remarkable. “It indicates that China has succeeded in controlling the epidemic with Wuhan as the main battlefield, and effectively controlled the large-scale spread of the epidemic,” a Chinese CDC spokesperson told the press last week, pausing after his statement to stare straight ahead as his eyes darted shiftily back and forth while the sound of a gong was heard in the background.

    Mere days after the Chinese CDC’s totally not-bull$#@! press conference, it was announced that a new surge of cases throughout the country will likely lead to massive travel and gathering restrictions for 2021’s Lunar New Year.

    Thank heavens the U.S. will soon be led by a man who has professed blind and unyielding faith in the honesty and integrity of China. There’s certainly no reason to foresee that ending in disaster.

    REMOTE UNLEARNING
    And speaking of people who should never, under any circumstances, be taken at their word…

    American educators have had a difficult time this year, stuck at home unable to do in-person instruction because they lobbied their Democrat lapdogs to keep them stuck at home unable to do in-person instruction.

    Indeed, these courageous unionized indoctrinators had to make several horrific sacrifices due to COVID.

    As important as it was for public school teachers to fight for their sacred right to collect union benefits while sitting on a couch listening to social justice podcasts all day, the unfortunate by-product of this was that by refusing to actually go to work inside classrooms, these heroes were unable to do dance videos like the nation’s “beleaguered” and “overworked” nurses. Yes, it was a terrible trade-off. No videos of “brave” teachers twerking down schoolhouse hallways. Because you have to be willing to actually go to the schoolhouse for that to happen.

    The other sacrifice was even worse. With union teachers staying at home, with public schools shuttered, it became increasingly difficult to physically destroy books. After all, you can’t trash a school library from your living room.

    In September 2019, in a grossly underreported story, Melissa Barnett, head of English Language Arts for public schools in Washington Township, N.J., cheered the physical destruction of all books in her district that were not “diverse” enough. She tweeted a photo of a dumpster full of books with the celebratory caption, “This week, dumpsters were filled with books that should have left decades ago @TWPSchools and replaced with engaging, relevant, culturally diverse literature.”

    Barnett’s tweet birthed a thread in which fellow educators applauded the district for having the guts to pulp evil books.

    When a few right-wingers who object to the extermination of literature publicized the thread, Barnett and her cohorts deleted their accounts, and it was left to Washington Township Director of Secondary Education Steve Gregor to explain that the trashed books, which included Frankenstein, 1984, The Grapes of Wrath, Pride and Prejudice, Dante’s Inferno, and Slaughterhouse-Five, “were in poor condition and unreadable, dating back to the 1960s or earlier. We intended to replace them with new copies.”

    Apparently, the head of the English Language Arts Department got it all wrong! The books weren’t being trashed because of “diversity.” They were just old, and the school totally intended to replace them.

    Because no good school would ever send usable books to the city dump for political reasons!

    The exact same story played out earlier this year, when a middle school in Minnesota was caught junking American history books, including Flag of Our Fathers; biographies of Ronald Reagan, Sitting Bull, Mark Twain, and Robert E. Lee; and histories of the American Revolution, D-Day, and the Gulf War. And once again, a nervous principal had to explain that there was no political motive behind the trashing. “Those books were just old, see? They was moth-eaten, see? Fallin’ apart, SEE? It was just a spring cleanin’. Yeah, that’s it. Spring cleanin’!”

    But COVID has made public school educators stir-crazy, and a little too honest. Last week hundreds of America’s “teachers,” using the hashtag #DisruptTexts, admitted that yes, the goal is to physically destroy all “classic texts” not written in “the present-day vernacular,” especially all books “in which racism, sexism, ableism, anti-Semitism, and other forms of hate are the norm.” According to the “education heroes,” that includes Shakespeare, Homer, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Hawthorne, and even Dr. Seuss.

    #DisruptTexts advocates freely admit to seeking to “trash” books that don’t measure up. Odd that nobody in the press got the hint that this was the case from all of those, you know, trashed books.

    Hopefully, once in-person learning begins anew, the media can again go back to turning a blind eye to dumpsters full of “racist” books that, thanks to the very educators who trashed ’em, America’s kids wouldn’t even know how to read anyway.
    Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.

    Robert Heinlein

    Give a man an inch and right away he thinks he's a ruler

    Groucho Marx

    I love mankind…it’s people I can’t stand.

    Linus, from the Peanuts comic

    You cannot have liberty without morality and morality without faith

    Alexis de Torqueville

    Those who fail to learn from the past are condemned to repeat it.
    Those who learn from the past are condemned to watch everybody else repeat it

    A Zero Hedge comment

  8. #127
    https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-121/

    The Week’s Testiest, Zestiest, and Unrestiest Headlines

    “BRED FOR SUPERIORITY” MEETS ITS POLAR OPPOSITE
    Well, this was a crime worthy of Ocean’s 11. Or perhaps more appropriately IQ of 11. Twenty-one-year-old Royshana King (no word on whether she has a brother named Siegfriedshana) of Houston was looking to score big. A real caper, a real “this’ll put us on easy street” kinda crime. But what to steal? Where to hit? Jewelry stores? Naw, the good ones have that whacked-out security $#@! where you gotta go through a door into a little booth then through another door, making it hard to smash and grab. Also, they have that other security system called “instinct” that prompts proprietors to cock their weapons when a 21-year-old who looks like Royshana King walks in.

    Banks? Please. Those security guards have guns…that they cock when a 21-year-old who looks like Royshana King walks in.

    After several nights of hard thinkin’ and crack smokin’, King and her male accomplice hatched the perfect plan: They’d read somewhere that purebred dogs can go for thousands of dollars. Thousands of dollars! Royshana and her man would visit one of those big-time breeders pretending to be a couple interested in buying one of them fancy-ass moneydogs…and they’d run off with it!

    The perfect crime! Dogs can’t fire no guns.

    Armed with that knowledge, the two smooth criminals visited Bully Kamp, a Harris County establishment that breeds and sells show-quality bulldogs.

    The caper went off beautifully…at first. Royshana saw a 7-month-old bulldog priced at $10,000. And she be like, “Can we see that dog?” And the proprietress was like, “Of course. This particular breed has a lineage that…”

    And then Royshana and her man ran out of the store with the puppy.

    What they didn’t count on was that the proprietress, Alize James, didn’t need to cock no gun to take on two dognappers. The doughty James chased after the pair and jumped on the hood of their car, T.J. Hooker-style. The pup had recently had surgery, and needed meds. And James was not about to let it fall into the hands of a couple of thugs without a fight.

    “My mind was focused on [the puppy’s] health, I obviously didn’t care about my well-being,” James told a local TV station.

    James rode that hood for ten minutes at highway speeds, until King and her accomplice, realizing that their Ocean’s 11 caper had hit a snag, finally pulled over. The male beat the crap out of James, thus proving his preference for the Sinatra as opposed to the Clooney version of the film, and stole her necklace. But thanks to James’ bravery, authorities were able to arrest King, and they’re currently searching for her partner, a large African-American male who still has possession of the dog.

    It’s probably safe to assume that this rocket scientist has received a swift and merciless lesson in how a “$10,000 dog” isn’t a “$10,000 dog” without documentation. It’s not like pawning a gold watch or a Stratocaster. One can almost hear the dialogue as the hapless gent attempts to fence his booty:

    “This a $10,000 dog. How much you gimme?”

    “Well, what is the sire?”

    “Man! Look, I’ll take $5,000.”

    “Okay, but where are the registration papers?”

    “Maaaan, c’mon, $3,000.”

    “Can you show me the proof of pedigree?”

    “Maaaaaaaaaaan, I shoulda robbed a minimart.”

    Hopefully, Fat Albert Einstein will return the dog unharmed once he realizes that it’s not only unsalable but his intellectual superior.

    “YOU’RE A BROWNER MAN THAN I AM, GUNGA DIN”
    Hollywood’s Rules of Woke are getting increasingly harder to follow.

    In the early days of movies, white dudes would play Japs, Chinamen, Injuns (tomahawk throwers), and Injuns (acid throwers).

    Was it respectful? No. And certainly the industry only got better as Japs could play Japs, Chinese could play Chinese, Chief Dan Georges and Will Sampsons could play every Native American role in every movie in the 1970s, and, well, okay, India Indians were still primarily portrayed by white guys.

    Birdie Num-Num.

    And not just white guys. Even Hong Kong cinema classics like 1976’s Master of the Flying Guillotine used Chinese actors to portray subcontinent Asians, with Wong Wing-sang, wearing brown makeup and a patchy glued-on beard, portraying an Indian yogi master who can extend his arms ten feet long to deflect attacks (a skill that, had Gandhi possessed it, might’ve saved his life).

    Thankfully, over the past decade actual Indian actors have been scoring lead roles in Western cinema due to absolutely no popular demand whatsoever but boy does it make white Americans feel self-satisfied to talk about how much they like that cute little Indian guy with the name that doesn’t come to mind who was in that thing where he was funny but also heartwarming.

    In recent years, it’s become verboten in Hollywood for non-Indian actors to affect an Indian accent, to the extent that even Apu was canceled. It’s a tragic turn of events that’s forced marginally talented white Groundlings hacks to narrow their go-to “comedy gold” accents to Scottish or German.

    Still, one would assume that actual Indians would be allowed to do Indian accents.

    One would be wrong.

    Rizwan Manji is an Ismaili Muslim of Gujarati Indian descent, whose parents immigrated to Canada from Tanzania. Manji, an actor, has a supporting role on a show called Schitt’s Creek (a.k.a. the show your friends insist you just have to watch because it’s so critically acclaimed, and then you find out they haven’t seen it either). Manji’s character has a slight Indian accent, and apparently the arbiters of wokeness have decreed that this is racist.

    Yes, it’s now racist for an Indian to have an Indian accent.

    From CNN:

    Fans of the show have taken issue with “Schitt’s Creek” resident Ray Butani (portrayed by Manji), an eccentric businessman who runs a real estate-travel-photography enterprise. Butani, one of the few non-White characters on the show, speaks with an accent and, according to some viewers, plays into stereotypes of South Asian men.

    It’s unclear how an Indian with an Indian accent is “a stereotype” as opposed to “a reality.” Some Schitt’s viewers have even gone so far as to call Manji’s role “brownface,” apparently oblivious to the fact that the man actually has a brown face. By that definition, all black actors should be excommunicated from the business because they insist on performing in blackface.

    Whites-only Hollywood is the only true way to avoid racially insensitive portrayals.

    As baffling as this attack on an Indian actor for having an Indian accent may be, it’s perhaps more understandable if viewed in light of the industry’s obsession with shoehorning actors of color into historical roles for which they’re wholly inappropriate, from British monarchs to Viking warriors to the Little Mermaid. With a blacker-than-Yaphet-Kotto actress set to portray Anne Boleyn in a British TV miniseries, it’s understandable that Manji might want to lose the accent, as rumor has it he’s up for the role of FDR in an upcoming biopic.

    “We have nothing to fear bud-bud fear itself.”

    BROWN PAPER BAG TEST FOR CONSPIRACY THEORISTS
    And on the subject of “blackface”…

    Big Tech has gone to great lengths to rid the ’net of “right-wing conspiracy theorists”—Alex Jones types who pollute the world with wacky nutty koo-koo-bananas tall tales about secret government plots and schemes to commit mass murder or engineer disasters to depopulate the world.

    But take any standard Alex Jonesian conspiracy theory and darken it up like Jolson, and bang, you have a hit Netflix documentary!

    It’s a fairly simple dynamic: The only difference between “loony conspiracy theory, shut it down” and “wow, makes ya think, deserves to be heard” is skin tone.

    In 1994, a filmmaker named Randy Holland produced a doc called The Fire This Time. The film posited that the 1992 L.A. Rodney King Riot was a CIA antiblack covert op. There were no rioting blacks; just government “crisis actors.” Rooftop Koreans? Nope, just CIA guys in Mikado makeup. Reginald Denny the beaten white trucker? Possibly an animatronic replicant, although also maybe a hologram (Holland, a cautious researcher, doesn’t firmly commit to either possibility).

    Holland’s film won the WGA Award for Best Documentary. It was broadcast on Cinemax, and received glowing reviews in Variety and the L.A. Times, because it’s not at all crazy like that Alex Jones “gay frog” Illuminati crap.

    In 2006, Spike Lee released his doc When the Levees Broke, a central theme of which was that Hurricane Katrina was a government depopulation op designed to genocide New Orleans’ blacks. It won three Emmy Awards (Exceptional Merit in Nonfiction Filmmaking, Outstanding Directing for Nonfiction Programming, and Outstanding Picture Editing for Nonfiction Programming), a Peabody Award, the NAACP Image Award, and the Horizons Award at the 63rd Venice International Film Festival.

    The reviews were—what’s the word?—glowing, with critics taking great pains to point out that it’s important for these “conspiracy theories” to be heard, because they come from black folks. L.A. Times infinite monkey Paul Brownfield, normally a foe of all theories conspiratorial, gave Lee’s film a free pass, writing that, regarding the movie’s claim that Katrina flooding was government-caused, “This isn’t a film about journalistic balance, it’s about being there so people can exhale.”

    See, when white folks speak of grand CIA psyops, false flags, weather control devices, and chemtrails, it’s “right-wing conspiracy bull$#@!” that must be banned and suppressed as even allowing it to exist is a threat to society because “disinformation.” But when blacks indulge in such nonsense, it’s just them “exhaling.” Lettin’ off steam! To censor or condemn such content is to tell blacks that they mustn’t breathe.

    Yes, if you criticize black conspiracy theorists, you’re literally suffocating George Floyd.

    And this week arrives the new Netflix doc Crack: Cocaine, Corruption & Conspiracy, another gust of black exhalation about how crack cocaine was all a CIA plot and (as the Daily Beast points out, this comes off as a bit contradictory) blacks (a) were never actually harmed by crack—it was all media slander to portray them as addicts, (b) were terribly hurt by crack, per CIA depopulation plans, (c) were left to deal with the crack epidemic on their own by uncaring public officials who never took the problem seriously, and (d) were severely oppressed by caring public officials who took the problem too seriously and overreacted with draconian enforcement.

    That’s some exhale! Terry McMillan, eat your heart out.

    The Daily Beast is forced to conclude that the film is “borderline disingenuous.” That “borderline” part is an understandable bit of caution, as nobody wants to be too critical of next year’s Oscar winner for Best Documentary Feature.

    Rest assured, though, that this “disingenuous” film will not be banned from social media, but any white “right-wingers” echoing its talking points will.

    YOU’RE A GRAND OLD FLAGELLATE
    Planning to burn a flag? Choose your standard carefully, because your decision might mean the difference between going to prison or becoming independently wealthy.

    Remember little Joey Johnson? He’s the Revolutionary Communist Party radical who was arrested in 1984 for burning a stolen (note: stolen) American flag during an anti-Reagan protest in Dallas. Johnson’s case led to the landmark SCOTUS decision that struck down anti-flag-burning laws as unconstitutional. Yes, Americans, you have the right to burn flags, even flags that don’t belong to you, even flags you’ve purloined from folks who don’t want ’em burned.

    It’s your sacred right!

    Of course, that sacred right only applies to American flags, which (SCOTUS sez) are not sacred. But truly sacred flags must never be burned.

    Like the Holy Flag of BLM.

    Last week, Proud Boys leader Enrique Tarrio was arrested in D.C. for having burned a BLM flag he took from outside a “historic black church” a month earlier. He’s been charged with “destruction of property” (not theft, because it’s not the theft that matters but the desecration of a sacred object). Even though the burning happened a month ago, D.C. cops were still hot on the case, because there are no other, more serious crimes to investigate in the peaceful utopia that might soon become the nation’s 51st state.

    Cops were lying in wait for Tarrio as he flew into D.C. from Miami. They staked out an airport to catch a guy who burned some cloth a month ago.

    But of course, it’s not just “some cloth.” BLM banners make the Shroud of Turin look like a cocktail napkin. The BLM flag is the Koran of banners; defile it, you die. One gets the feeling that had Tarrio burned a Bible from that “historically black church,” neither the pastor nor the cops would have pursued the matter.

    D.C. prosecutors are contemplating charging Tarrio with a “hate crime” enhancement.

    Yep, dude would’ve been a lot safer burning a Bible.

    Tarrio had already told The Washington Post that he would plead guilty to the destruction of property charge and reimburse the “historically yada yada” church for the banner, but he’s pledged to fight any “hate crime” charges, as he steadfastly maintains that he destroyed the banner not out of racial animus (Tarrio himself is Afro-Cuban), but because BLM “has terrorized the citizens of this country.”

    He’s likely to find out that truth is not a defense in his case.

    For the flag-burning alone (not counting the potential hate-crime charges), Tarrio is facing a $1,000 fine and up to 180 days in jail.

    Sure, it’s easy to bring up the fact that BLM terrorists have destroyed statues and monuments and burned entire buildings to the ground without facing arrest, but that’s too obvious a point.

    Let’s return to little Joey Johnson.

    After he was cleared of all charges by the SCOTUS flag decision, he continued burning flags for the next 25 years (to a “revolutionary communist,” that counts as a profession). In 2016 he lit an American flag on fire outside the Republican National Convention in Cleveland. Police stepped in to douse the flames.

    And the city of Cleveland was forced to pay Johnson $225,000 for violating his right to publicly burn American flags.

    $225,000.

    Think on that as you await your $600 Covid relief check.

    And now that you’re in a bad mood…

    A DEFINING REDEFINING MOMENT
    The news from D.C. following the Capitol unrest is nothing but grim. One pro-Trump protester—a fourteen-year military vet—shot dead by Capitol Police. Three other protesters dead via stroke, heart attack, and trampling, and a D.C. police officer—an Iraq War vet—succumbing to a head injury the day after the skirmish.

    There’s just nothing fun or funny here.

    But as always, there are things that can be learned, and instructive points to glean.

    The left spent all of 2020 encouraging the wanton destruction wrought by BLM and Antifa. Cities were burned, hundreds of businesses large and small were reduced to ash, thousands of stores, homes, public spaces, and monuments were vandalized. And it was all good, because, as Chris Cuomo—the guy who makes every cast member of Jersey Shore look like a genius, the guy who best exemplifies why “the Italians” are far, far removed from “the Romans”—said back in June (as BLM thugs were sacking cities across the nation), “Show me where it says protests are supposed to be polite and peaceful.”

    Yep, back in the summer, raucous protests were just fine.

    If cops, business owners, or concerned citizens dared to harm a BLM or Antifa thug in self-defense, they were guilty of murder. Because violent protesters were not to be opposed. The right to smash, punch, and intimidate is guaranteed by the First Amendment. Maybe that’s not spelled out in the Bill of Rights, maybe it’s not supported by 230 years of Supreme Court precedent, but it’s there, between the lines, in the left’s supplemental footnotes, right alongside the unqualified right to abortion.

    But as of Jan. 6, that all changed. Now “impolite” protests are insurrection, treason, and terrorism. All of a sudden, the left has decided that the only good protest is one in which mannered gentlemen with muttonchops exchange platitudes whilst nibbling on cucumber sandwiches and sipping fine aromatic tea.

    “I say, dear Cholmondeley, verily have I a grievance to air.”

    “In faith, good Sinjin, I shall hear it out, old friend.”

    “I do hope my protest has not caused thee undue vexation, kind sir.”

    “No more so than has my measured response, I do pray, caused you.”

    After almost a year of mass destruction championed and defended as “peaceful protests,” this is how the left now says it should be done. Funny how that works. The Democrats gain control of everything—the White House and Congress—and protests from this point on are supposed to resemble a Jane Austen novel.

    But what’s especially interesting is how the left is redefining terrorism. Melissa Chan, an Emmy-nominated journalist who has written for The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Washington Post, The Guardian, and Time (if there’s a place for vacuous leftists, she’s occupied it), made a big stink on the 7th about how the MAGA Capitol-stormers should not be described as “protesters” but “terrorists.” When pesky Twitterers resurfaced past tweets in which she’d proudly referred to violent and destructive BLM hoods as “protesters,” Ms. Chan tweeted the following:

    Breaking into the Capitol is not the same as breaking into a Best Buy and I can’t believe I have to explain that. But if you think they’re the same, you should go to the Capitol and try to buy a Playstation 5.

    In other words, attacking civilian targets doesn’t make you a terrorist; attacking government targets does.

    Except, no. The widely accepted definition of “terrorism” is “the unlawful use of violence and intimidation, especially against civilians, in the pursuit of political aims.”

    “Especially against civilians.”

    And the Encyclopedia Britannica defines terrorism as something that strikes “places where members of the civilian population are familiar and in which they feel at ease.”

    Like a Best Buy.

    But, as we saw in 2020, definitions change quickly when they outlive their usefulness to leftists. So in the weeks to come, expect the definition of terrorism to drop any mention of “especially against civilians.” Because when given a choice between altering their behavior to be less uncivil or altering the language to redefine incivility, leftists will always choose the latter.
    Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.

    Robert Heinlein

    Give a man an inch and right away he thinks he's a ruler

    Groucho Marx

    I love mankind…it’s people I can’t stand.

    Linus, from the Peanuts comic

    You cannot have liberty without morality and morality without faith

    Alexis de Torqueville

    Those who fail to learn from the past are condemned to repeat it.
    Those who learn from the past are condemned to watch everybody else repeat it

    A Zero Hedge comment

  9. #128
    https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-122/

    The Week’s Most Sodden, Throdden, and Downtrodden Headlines

    NAZI PIANO CONCERTO, NUMBER TWO (SECOND MOVEMENT)
    Third Reich? More like Turd Reich.

    In the immediate aftermath of the Jan. 6 Capitol protest and riot, reportage tended to focus on the big stories—the deaths, the violence, the property damage, and of course Trump. But the media will always eventually exhaust the big angles and go searching for new “exclusives” to misreport.

    On Jan. 11, New York congressman Hakeem Jeffries (Brooklyn and Queens) told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer that the Capitol stormers “marked their territory” while running wild through congressional offices. “Weapons were deployed. Mace and bear spray were utilized. Offices were ransacked. Feces and urine was left behind,” the morally outraged Democrat told Blitzer, who responded, “I have heard it from so many of your colleagues—some of these individuals, whether they were neo-Nazis, whether they were racists, they were walking around the U.S. Capitol in really sensitive areas urinating.”

    Perhaps Blitzer is referring to such “sensitive areas” as the office where Katie Hill had her naked lesbian threesomes. One hates to think that such sacred ground was defiled.

    “Nazis urinated in the offices of Members of Congress in the Capitol yesterday, according to Hakeem Jeffries (Congressman from New York),” tweeted Lisa Goldman, a “journalist” who excels in a more verbal type of defecation, as evidenced by the skidmarks she leaves on the pages of The New York Times, The Guardian, +972 Magazine, and The Conversationalist.

    The defecating-Nazis story triggered Nadine van der Velde, a multiple Emmy and Annie award-winning actress, writer, producer, and leftist activist, who tweeted:

    My dad, a Holocaust survivor, went home after the Germans were defeated. He found his house ransacked, stripped bare, except for the piano. Nazis couldn’t haul it off. Instead Nazis had urinated and defecated inside to make it unusable. Same hateful energy. #GOPFascists

    “Nazis Shat in My Piano” was the original title of Elie Wiesel’s Night, until van der Velde’s father successfully sued, as he was in the process of making his own movie based on his tragic story, titled Life Is Pee-yew-tiful.

    Ms. van der Velde is quite well-known for beginning almost every other tweet with “My dad, a Holocaust survivor…” so this was par for her course. Still, the piano attack by the Arms of Krapp is a new one. Putting aside the logistical questions (were the Poopenführers perched on the piano’s edge, or standing on chairs and ladders?), there’s the bigger problem that all abandoned Jewish possessions automatically became property of the Reich when a Jew fled, emigrated, or was sent to a camp. That was the law back then.

    Ha ha, you dumb Nazis! You just crapped in your own piano.

    Another tragic wartime evacuation.

    Perhaps a more important question to ponder is how Democrats can now claim that public defecation is “Nazi” when they’ve fought so hard to make it a “human right” for all homeless people.

    If Hakeem Jeffries is upset about the mess in his office, I hope he never looks at the sidewalks of his district.

    HYGIENIC HAJI WANTS YOU TO PAY FOR HIS SHOWERS
    Head, shoulders, knees and toes,
    knees and toes
    Head, shoulders, knees and toes,
    knees and toes
    And eyes and ears and mouth and nose
    Head, shoulders, knees and toes,
    knees and toes!

    Yes, that’s a brief inventory of body parts blown off by convicted Boston Marathon bomber and teen heartthrob Dzhokhar Tsarnaev. It’s also the little ditty he sings in the shower, to remind himself to wash thoroughly. See, Tsarnaev is a very clean terrorist. Not like those dirty terrorists who live in caves alongside stinky goats and sheep. No, Tsarnaev takes his hygiene quite seriously.

    Which is why he’s suing the U.S. government for $250,000 over the fact that he’s limited to only three showers a week at the Colorado Supermax prison where he’s currently serving a life sentence (he’d initially been sentenced to death, but last fall an appeals judge reduced it to life, stating that Tsarnaev’s obsessive love of showering was vital to the nation’s struggling mass-murderer monogrammed-soap industry).

    Along with suing for extra shower time, Tsarnaev is also demanding the right to wear a “baseball cap and bandanna” in his cell.

    Because what’s the point of cleaning yourself up if you can’t slip into something sporty?

    Tsarnaev states in his lawsuit that the lack of showers, caps, and bandannas is contributing to his “mental and physical decline.” Legal experts counter that it’s a bit more likely that said “decline” has more to do with being locked 24/7 in a 7-by-12-foot cell. That, and being an already mentally warped pathological killer.

    Sadly for the moistened Muhammadan, his suit was rejected by a federal judge last week because dripping Dzhokhar had not included the $402 filing fee, apparently having spent his every last penny on donations to Bernie Sanders after the elderly (and almost certainly unwashed and malodorous) socialist promised to restore the mad bomber’s voting rights (and hell, considering how Democrats conduct their elections, Tsarnaev probably did have a vote cast in his name last November anyway).

    With Sanders soon to become a major power player in the new Senate, the Biden Administration might just decide to settle Tsarnaev’s suit out of court.

    Now, it’s unclear what a man locked in a 7-by-12-foot box would be able to do with a quarter-million dollars, but perhaps Tsarnaev can set up a dark-money PAC for Rashida Tlaib, and cycle the money back to his biggest fangirl.

    After all, money, just like an imprisoned terrorist, is best when fully laundered.

    HOW MIDAIR YOU!
    These days, “global warming” hucksters might be feeling the need to play catch-up. After all, “climate change” flimflammery is known for two things: hypocrisy and illogic.

    Hypocrisy in that climate-change apocalyptics swear that the world will explode if you don’t give up the things you’re doing that are hastening the end-times—relying on fossil fuels, flying in planes, driving cars, using air-conditioning, eating meat, etc. If you don’t surrender those luxuries, the planet will die and it’ll all be your fault. But weirdly, the doomsayers never seem to follow those rules themselves. They fly, drive, eat meat, and generally expel enough pollution to make Mexico City’s air seem breathable by comparison.

    And illogic? Well, how logical is it to say that asthma inhalers and plastic bags are polluting the atmosphere but private jets and luxury yachts the size of the Nimitz aren’t?

    If there was one thing climate-change charlatans could always boast about, it’s that they were the absolute best at making ordinary folks suffer under inconsistent rules that they themselves didn’t follow.

    But then came Covid. And in the space of less than a year, the achievements of the climate scammers became meaningless and forgotten. Hypocrisy and illogic? Nobody does that better than Covid con artists. All last year, millions of people were locked in their homes by politicians who freely and guiltlessly did all the things they prevented their suffering subjects from doing, as “scientists” came up with countless new ways to not make any sense via the “science-based” rules they advocated (six-foot distancing in the line to enter an aircraft where you then sit inches apart from those same people; “outdoor” dining that occurs inside covered structures but is still considered “outside” because the tables were outside before the building was erected around them; outdoor weddings and concerts are “superspreader events,” but outdoor protests are not; etc.).

    Clearly, the pressure is now on the global-warming hustlers to up their game. And who better to meet the challenge than the man with his feet planted firmly in both camps, the guy who became a billionaire so long ago that most folks don’t even remember how he did it, and when they’re reminded, they’re like, “Explorer? Really?… Explorer?”

    In February, Bill Gates will release his latest book, How to Avoid a Climate Disaster: The Solutions We Have and the Breakthroughs We Need. It promises to contain many “solutions” and “breakthroughs” that involve you being forced to no longer do or own something you currently do or own. As a preview, in a recent blog post Gates condemned Americans for using too much gasoline.

    But there’s something he left out of that post: Last week it was revealed that Gates has put in a bid to buy Signature Aviation, the world’s largest private jet operator.

    Yes, Gates, who already owns four private jets (he likes to match them to his outfits), will now own the world’s largest fleet of them.

    According to the Daily Mail, “the average person produces around 10 tonnes of carbon dioxide each year,” whereas Gates’ private flights alone “produce a staggering 1,600 tonnes” annually.

    But you’re the one who needs to stop driving.

    Gates, who has often admitted that private jets are his “guilty pleasure,” is likely enjoying his newly reclaimed status as top hypocrite as he dines with Gavin Newsom, Andrew Cuomo, and AOC maskless at an indoor restaurant sitting inches apart and eating steaks made from only the fartiest cows.

    MUSK OF DESPERATION
    Those “democracy dies in darkness” arbiters of truth in the mainstream media are getting rather desperate in their attempts to dismantle free speech online. Not content with the plethora of recent victories the forces of speech suppression have won—Twitter banning Trump and liquidating millions of rightist accounts, Facebook banning Trump and most “right-wing” groups, YouTube silencing the official White House account, and Google, Apple, and Amazon banning Parler from the Internet—the intrepid journos in legacy media want to push for even more censorship, and they’ve decided to enlist Elon Musk to help them.

    The problem is, Elon Musk isn’t helping them. But never doubt that the people who stretched a phony dossier and a made-up rumor about a micturated president into four years of headlines can stretch a single tweeted meme into “Elon Musk wants Facebook silenced!”

    On Jan. 6, Musk tweeted an image that he captioned “the domino effect.” It showed a line of progressively larger dominoes, with the smallest one labeled “a website to rate women on campus,” and the largest one showing a tweet by New York Times chief national correspondent Mark Leibovich stating “The Capitol seems to be under the control of a man in a viking hat.”

    The meme can be read several ways, including as a joke, or a satire of the notion that there’s a direct line between something as trivial as Facebook’s earliest incarnation and something as surreal as Leibovich’s tweet. Keep in mind, Musk is a guy who once tweeted that Vernon Unsworth, the heroic British diver who was instrumental in the underwater rescue of twelve Thai boys from a cave in 2018, was a “pedo,” only to respond when sued, “hey, I was just having a larf! My tweets aren’t meant to be taken literally. I was just insulting the guy because I don’t like him.”

    Similarly, Musk has recently been in a personal feud with Mark Zuckerberg, so it’s probably best not to make broad assumptions about one tweet.

    But what is the MSM if not a giant mentally challenged assumption-making machine?

    “Elon Musk Blames Facebook and Mark Zuckerberg For Capitol Riot!” screeched a headline in The Observer. Musk “holds the social network at least partly responsible for the U.S. Capitol riot,” wailed Newsweek. And Fox announced that Musk “appears to blame the founding of Facebook for the violence that ensued at the U.S. Capitol.” At least a dozen other news sites echoed those themes.

    All based solely on that one tweeted meme.

    Most of the articles tried to spin the tweet to make it appear as though Musk was implicitly advocating censorship of online speech…even though Musk has repeatedly gone on record opposing exactly that. In fact, just days after the “domino” tweet, Musk made his position crystal clear regarding Twitter’s Trump ban: “A lot of people are going to be super unhappy with West Coast high tech as the de facto arbiter of free speech.”

    So much for basing an entire day’s worth of news on one jokey tweet by the “hey pedo, I wuz just foolin’ around!” guy.

    Still, it’s a little frightening how eager the press is to push the pro-censorship line, even to the extent of misrepresenting memes. Perhaps next week, The Observer will trot out its new star advocate of speech suppression: the “Ermahgerd Books” girl.

    KATHY SHAIDLE: AN APPRECIATION
    Kathy Shaidle, the pioneering blogger, essayist, poet, copywriter, political pundit, and former Takimag columnist, passed away last weekend at the age of 56 after losing her battle with ovarian cancer. Kathy wrote for Takimag from 2011 through 2017, and her columns were always hugely popular, engaging, and, most significantly, unpredictable. Because part of what defined Kathy was her versatility as a writer and thinker. This was a person who could write serious poetry, scathing political commentary, deeply personal essays, and the satirical and hard-edged “Ed Anger” column for the Weekly World News. Regardless of the subject or style, her writing was consistently sharp, and on a dime she could be alternately funny, angry, light, or blistering.

    Kathy was also that rarest of rightist thinkers—she appreciated movies as movies, not as politics. Sure, she could write about movies from a political angle better than anyone. But she was a film lover first and foremost, as knowledgeable of the history of cinema as anybody writing on the topic today, or possibly ever. It can be difficult for conservatives—obsessed as they are with viewing Hollywood as “enemy territory”—to critique movies strictly from an artistic perspective. But Kathy’s love of the medium went far beyond politics, and her always-active Facebook page was host to hundreds of fascinating film-centered discussions that transcended the usual pap one gets when people on the right try to broach the topic.

    Indeed, Kathy’s regular movie column on Mark Steyn’s site was a must-read for all film aficionados regardless of ideological bent.

    Speaking of Facebook, even after she retired from Takimag due to time-constraint issues, she remained a steadfast champion of the site and its authors, posting each piece daily for her many Facebook friends and followers to read and dissect. The resulting threads would bring to mind what comments sections should always ideally be—vigorous but reasoned and well-argued debates among opinionated but civil participants.

    As a Hamilton, Ontario-born Canadian, it cannot be overstated how courageous Kathy was. Short in stature and a self-described “agoraphobic homebody,” Kathy nevertheless stood up fearlessly to her country’s politically correct commissars. In a nation where one “offensive” tweet can lead to actual criminal charges as opposed to mere “cancellation,” Kathy Shaidle took risks every day that Americans rarely need to chance.

    Shaidle’s 2008 book The Tyranny of Nice (coauthored with Pete Vere) is a must-read regarding the perils of being a Great White North dissident thinker.

    A scribe to the very end, Kathy went out writing, continuing to post on Facebook Jan. 7, even as she somberly had to admit that her “eyesight (is) failing a bit and it is hard to type.”

    She entered hospice the next day. She passed away on the 9th.

    After her death, her wry, self-penned obituary gave her friends and fans something to smile about through the grief as they mourned her passing. It was a quintessentially Kathy Shaidle finale: Words were her life and livelihood, and she wanted to share just a few more of them with her readers, even if she wouldn’t be around to take part in the discussion that followed.

    To anyone who similarly loves words, and movies, and political commentary, the loss of Kathy Shaidle is a terribly profound one.

    Everyone at Takimag extends their sincerest condolences to her beloved husband, Arnie. Kathy was one of a kind, and the world of letters will never be the same without her.
    Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.

    Robert Heinlein

    Give a man an inch and right away he thinks he's a ruler

    Groucho Marx

    I love mankind…it’s people I can’t stand.

    Linus, from the Peanuts comic

    You cannot have liberty without morality and morality without faith

    Alexis de Torqueville

    Those who fail to learn from the past are condemned to repeat it.
    Those who learn from the past are condemned to watch everybody else repeat it

    A Zero Hedge comment



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  11. #129
    @Swordsmyth - "Always OK for me but NOT OK for thee"

    Beyond bullies. No Bully will ever let someone defend themselves. But their plan is much worse than hurt your feelings or bloody a nose...
    1776 > 1984

    The FAILURE of the United States Government to operate and maintain an
    Honest Money System , which frees the ordinary man from the clutches of the money manipulators, is the single largest contributing factor to the World's current Economic Crisis.

    The Elimination of Privacy is the Architecture of Genocide

    Belief, Money, and Violence are the three ways all people are controlled

    Quote Originally Posted by Zippyjuan View Post
    Our central bank is not privately owned.

  12. #130
    https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-123/

    The Week’s Most Humbling, Grumbling, and Bumbling Headlines

    ARBEIT MACHT KRANKHEITSFREI
    For almost a year now, anti-lockdown protesters and refuseniks in the U.S. have dropped the capital N-word regarding heavy-handed government efforts to control the behavior of Americans in the name of (supposedly) controlling Covid. The capital N-word is, of course, quite different from the lower-case n-word, which only rappers and Quentin Tarantino are allowed to use.

    Conversely, everyone’s allowed to say the big N-word—Nazi—as long as they’re lobbing it at someone in hatred and not claiming it for themselves with pride. And the repressive (and in many cases blatantly unconstitutional) responses to Covid by state and local governments have earned a lot of American politicians the “Nazi” moniker. Churches shuttered, small businesses padlocked, bench-sitters, park-players, gym-goers, maskless walkers, and restaurant diners rousted, fined, and in some cases jailed by “Covid Nazi” public officials.

    It must have been terribly upsetting for the Germans to see another nation claim the title of “Naziest of them all.” Rather like when the French see cheap illegitimate knockoff champagne.

    “Zat’s our thing! You don’t get to call it champagne unless it’s from France, le home of ze sham-pah-nyah!”

    Last week Germany finally put its foot down regarding the unauthorized use of the political label it made famous. If there are going to be Covid Nazis, they’re gonna be in Deutschland, dammit! So the government decided to put anyone who repeatedly violates Covid quarantine in…concentration camps.

    Top that, Gavin Newsom.

    German officials are being forced to convert refugee camps into the new network of Covid detention facilities, because all the really good camps are currently filled with tourists taking photos and Jews making documentaries. It’s a lesson that every oppressive regime needs to learn: Don’t turn your best concentration camps into museums; you never know when they might be needed again.

    That German officials have no problem with putting quarantine violators in camps is a testament to the German trait of cold, unemotional practicality and efficiency. And that other German trait of having no sense of humor. In fact, German newspapers appear to be the only ones in the entire world that don’t find the Kovid Kamps darkly amusing.

    One problem facing the Germans as they prepare to evacuate quarantine violators to the East is the absence of highly trained commandants skilled in the art of administering such facilities. Many of these professionals appear to have personnel files that abruptly end around 1945. Another issue is overcrowding. With the possibility of potentially hundreds of thousands of incoming inmates, current refugee camps might not provide enough space.

    That said, word has it that there’s some very nice camp real estate in Poland.

    What harm could possibly come from making a play for it?

    DRUM RAPER INSTINCT
    Last week’s Martin Luther King Jr. Day was not necessarily the most joyous in the 21 years since the holiday was first officially observed by all states (and the 38 years since President Reagan signed the holiday into law). With so many millions of Americans locked down due to the pandemic, or unemployed due to the lockdowns, what’s the value of a three-day weekend?

    Still, people in the U.S. might want to start appreciating the holiday a bit more over the next few years…because it just might have an expiration date of 2027. That’s the year the “rape tape” is due to be released to the public.

    On Jan. 5, 1964, FBI agents, as part of an organized campaign of surveillance and harassment of MLK, recorded something exceptionally unpleasant in a Washington, D.C., hotel room. King had been summoned by Baltimore preacher Logan Kearse to the Willard Hotel. There, Pastor Kearse raped a woman after she resisted his advances, as King (in the words of an FBI agent who summarized the recording for his bosses) “looked on, laughed and offered advise [sic].”

    Sometimes a guy needs the kind of advice Dear Abby just can’t provide.

    The audiotape of the incident totally exists. However, in 1977 a federal judge ordered it sealed for fifty years, because Jimmy Carter wanted to make sure he was long dead before that $#@! got out (jokes on you, Jimmy—you may actually still be alive in 2027, you rabbit-killing Methuselah).

    So, in six years, the nation will likely hear the dulcet sounds of MLK cheering a rape…unless Kamala Harris uses her newfound status to discreetly replace the tape with an old Tupac recording (it’s not that Harris is disturbed by MLK’s role in a rape; it’s more that she’s outraged that a woman would resist the opportunity to sleep with an influential man).

    The ticking clock on the release of the rape tape was not lost on filmmaker Sam Pollard, whose new documentary film MLK/FBI opened last week to coincide with the holiday. Pollard’s movie details the FBI’s clandestine war against the civil rights leader. And while the film roundly—and justifiably—condemns J. Edgar Hoover’s less-than-honorable tactics against King, when the topic of the rape recording comes up—and kudos to Pollard for at least bringing it up—the filmmaker runs a rather ineffective interference, claiming that the FBI agent’s notes “might” be misleading, and to give credence to the accusations without “hard evidence” would be to assist the FBI in “sullying” King’s memory.

    Pollard has exactly six more years until he’ll have to come up with a better defense. Ditto the media. In their reviews of Pollard’s film, The Atlantic, the AP, and NPR avoided mentioning the rape accusation entirely. Yahoo News mentioned it, but purposely distorted the charge, claiming that MLK “witnessed a rape and didn’t intervene to stop it” (no mention of the “looking on, laughing, and offering advice” part). Sky News preemptively declared “pictures or it didn’t happen,” stating that since the “proof” will be “audio only,” it can’t be accepted as proof at all (an optimistic take…“rape advice” will likely be pretty damning audio).

    Knowing that a significant number of his readers lack functioning frontal lobes, The Guardian’s Peter Bradshaw wrote, “There was even a suggestion that King was present at a rape. But wait. Where is the proof here?”

    In the National Archives, mate. For six more years.

    The big question is, when the tape is finally released, and if it lives up to the FBI’s description, will MLK be canceled? An ironic possibility: With leftist American blacks becoming increasingly violent and radicalized, and with the GOP increasingly catering to “moderate” blacks, 2027 may produce the spectacle of leftist blacks damning MLK as an Uncle Tom and joining with feminists to cancel him, while establishment conservatives defend him as a flawed but honorable man.

    As always, the GOP will lose that fight (the GOP loses all racial battles; that’s just a law of the universe), but as a consolation prize, if states begin to cease celebrating MLK’s birth, conservatives could fill the vacuum by appropriating January 15th for an even worse human being who was born on that date—Ben Shapiro.

    NIGGARDLY CHEESE
    Sometimes a name is just a name, and sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes calling out a name that sounds rude or racist or funny will make you a hero, and sometimes it’ll land you in a big pile of dick-$#@!.

    Back in 2010, popular New Zealand radio and TV host Paul Henry lost his job for having a bit of fun with the name of an Indian government official, Delhi Chief Minister Sheila Dik$#@!. Henry found the name rather humorous, ad-libbing on air that it “is so appropriate, because she’s Indian, so she’d be dick-in-$#@! wouldn’t she, do you know what I mean? Walking along the street… It’s just so funny.”

    Well, it wasn’t funny to the government of India (which lodged an official complaint), the government of New Zealand (which promptly apologized), Henry’s TV station (which was fined by the government), and Henry himself (who apologized and resigned).

    The message? Just because a name sounds like something else doesn’t mean it is something else. During the Dik$#@! row, rueful New Zealanders even tried to make amends by pronouncing the name “dixit” or “diggs-it,” but the woman herself made clear that yes, it’s pronounced “dick-$#@!,” and pronounced so with pride (for all anyone knows, somewhere in Hindu lore there’s a sacred ten-armed bright blue bison/gibbon/mollusk deity called Shankar Dik$#@!).

    The point was, respect people’s names even if they sound funny to you. A human being’s name is not what you mistakenly take it for. If there’s one right that’s sacrosanct, it’s the right to not have to give up your name just because it coincidentally and randomly sounds like something else.

    Oh wait, those rules only apply to the names of nonwhites. For whites, the rules are different.

    For whites, if people of color don’t like your name, or if they think your name means something it doesn’t, your name gotta go!

    Edward William Coon was a Philadelphia cheese-maker at the turn of the 20th century. In the 1920s he patented a bunch of new cheese-making techniques that eventually led to the processed crap everyone “loves” from Kraft (where Coon and his patents ended up finding a home).

    Okay, hate the guy for that. Hate him for sliced American cheese.

    But his name? Coon’s an old, old surname that long predates the use of the word as a racial epithet (which dates from around the 1830s). Just don’t tell that to Australian leftists! A long-running campaign finally reached its conclusion last week, as an Australian cheese known as Coon Cheese (originally marketed by Kraft, now sold in Australia by Canadian dairy company Saputo) was forced by pressure from a few very bored leftists to abandon its moniker.

    Because the human surname Coon, which is not an epithet, sounds like an epithet, nothing Edward Coon did will be allowed to bear his name. From now on, the cheese will be called Cheer Cheese, although a more appropriate name might be something French, considering the speed with which Saputo surrendered.

    Australian aborigine activist Stephen Hagan, who led the campaign against the cheese, published an entire book last month about why the name Coon Cheese should be changed (in the aboriginal Kullili tongue, “Hagan” means “man who wastes his time and ours”). Hagan announced last week that he is suing Saputo for $2.1 million in damages for making him write that book.

    Well, that’ll quell those racist notions about aborigines not being bright.

    As New Zealanders learn to enjoy their Cheer Cheese, one hopes that the attentions of busybodies like Hagan never find their way to American shores…especially Winter Haven, Fla., location of a funeral home and cremation facility known as Crisp-Coon.

    Word has it they cremate whites, too.

    WALLOONATICS WILL LOON
    Even under the best of circumstances, African immigrants and “refugees” are rarely grateful to the Western nations that take them in. Whether the Northern Africans who worship Muhammad or the Western Africans who worship magical dung beetles and logs, inviting hordes of Africans into your nice, tidy European nation is a recipe for disaster.

    Even under the best of circumstances.

    Now, under the worst of circumstances, things get even dicier. Like, for example, if your “nice tidy European nation” was once ruled by the dude whose actions in Africa led to the coining of the term “crimes against humanity.” Old King Leopold was a genocidal old soul, and a genocidal old soul was he. The Belgian monarch ran the Congo as his own personal goody bag, and his hunger for rubber, gold, and ivory was matched only by his craving for 200-foot-tall mountains of severed African heads.

    His administration of the Congo led to millions of African deaths, and even more maimings; he had a thing for cutting off African hands. Once, when asked by a reporter for Het Laatste Nieuws why he was so fond of lopping off limbs, the king merely smiled and said, “I dunno…I’m stumped!” (that guy was a real cutup).

    If black people have proved one thing since the end of U.S. Jim Crow and European colonial adventurism, it’s that they have long $#@!ing memories. Blacks never forget a slight…from a white. So maybe it wasn’t such a good idea for Belgium to spend the past few decades opening its doors to every African who knocked (and those who climbed through the window unannounced).

    Almost 25% of Belgium’s population is foreign-born, and Congolese make up an especially large segment of those non-natives. In recent months, Belgian cops have had a difficult time enforcing the nation’s Covid regulations in the African immigrant community. No matter where they’re from, blacks love them a good BBQ backyard party, and last week, when Brussels police tried to break up such a gathering, the celebrants responded with whatever is Kikongo for “Oh no you dih-int!”

    In the resulting melee, a 23-year-old black man named Ibrahima Barrie was arrested. He later suffered a medical emergency while in custody and died (likely because he was forced to eat the bad prison potato salad instead of the guuuud stuff at the BBQ…oh, and also he had a $#@!-ton of ecstasy on him).

    So of course African immigrants took to the streets to riot. It was then that Belgian King Philippe decided to have his driver take him through the riot zone as a shortcut to the palace.

    A fine decision no doubt prompted by centuries of inbreeding.

    Upon seeing the king’s BMW literally drive right into their def anarchy jam, the rioters began kicking the living crap out of the vehicle, pelting it with stones and other projectiles, and trying to force it off the road.

    For some reason, this descendant of Leopold didn’t see it coming.

    The king’s security detail soon surrounded the royal car and escorted it to safety, as the rioters paused briefly from their rampage to perform a ten-minute stand-up set riffing on what had just occurred (“White people, amirite? A BLACK king woulda been like, ‘Get outta my way, niggas!’ But a WHITE king be like, ‘Oh my, would you please let me through? I’m late for my tea and toast.’ What up wit’ that?”).

    The king was unhurt, other than the brain damage he was already saddled with from birth.

    Belgian authorities have promised a three-tiered investigation into the cause of Barrie’s death, the resulting riots, and how they managed to get Peter Sellers from Being There as a monarch.

    YANKING DOODLE DANDY
    Conservatives have long had “eccentric envy.” From the 1960s counterculture days (when you could tell a man’s politics by his haircut and clothes) through the preppy Reagan years, there have always been folks on the right who wish they could, well, cut loose a bit and be as colorful and eccentric as their leftist counterparts.

    The Trump era, and the alt-rightists who helped define it, finally provided that long-sought-after injection of wackiness. Whether Milo Yiannopoulos prancing about with naked black men as he boasts of his fondness for their lengthy members, or LARPing Roman saluters and tiki-torch carriers, or the QAnon dude in the buffalo horns and face paint at the Capitol, the alt-right helped the old right break out of its boring crewcut rut.

    Whether this new acceptance of eccentricity helped or harmed the cause is, well, an open question. Open as in “Did it harm the cause?” or “Did it really really really harm the cause?”

    Which is why it’s probably best to show a modicum of restraint regarding Erik Estavillo.

    Estavillo is the San Jose, Calif.-born “patriot” who’s suing Twitter and Democrat Reps Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Ilhan Omar over Trump’s Twitter ban. Estavillo, a self-described clinically depressed agoraphobic with OCD and Crohn’s disease, filed the $88.7 million lawsuit because as someone who is housebound, as someone who depends on social media to learn about world events and interact with other human beings, to be deprived of the ability to see the (then) president’s tweets caused him “overbearing pain and suffering.” After all, Estavillo reasoned, if Trump (as president) couldn’t block Twitter users (as a federal appeals court ruled in 2019), then Twitter can’t block Trump.

    Reddit’s r/conservative group (649K members) initially hailed Estavillo as a First Amendment hero! A real fighter for the red white ’n’ blue! A bunch of rightist sites joined the chorus. MAGA had a new idol. As one r/conservative Redditor declared, “This is gonna get interesting… If this guy isn’t a loonie, it should make it way to the us supreme court.”

    But guess what? The guy’s a loony.

    Erik Estavillo first came to (minor) fame for suing various videogame and software companies for banning him from online play due to his harassment of other players (dude actually wrote a book about that). Then he sued Twitch because he claimed that all the purdy young women on the platform were forcing him to masturbate compulsively, damaging his dirlywanger. He sued not just Twitch, but every individual female user he’d ever pleasured himself to (his suit claimed that one young Twitcher made him, um, climax so heartily that his ejaculate landed on some wiring and shorted out his apartment’s power).

    But the icing on the cake is that he once tried to subpoena Internet star/troll/porn girl Belle Delphine for one of his lawsuits, claiming that based on her videos, he tried to eat out his own ass, and as a result he strained his back so badly that he was forced to wear a brace for two months.

    Frankly, rightists need to demand that their new heroes do more than just try to eat their own asses. Failure must not be an option. Hell, if George Will can do it, anyone can.

    On a related note, perhaps rightists should knock it off with the eccentrics for a while.
    Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.

    Robert Heinlein

    Give a man an inch and right away he thinks he's a ruler

    Groucho Marx

    I love mankind…it’s people I can’t stand.

    Linus, from the Peanuts comic

    You cannot have liberty without morality and morality without faith

    Alexis de Torqueville

    Those who fail to learn from the past are condemned to repeat it.
    Those who learn from the past are condemned to watch everybody else repeat it

    A Zero Hedge comment

  13. #131
    The Week That Perished

    https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-124/

    Takimag

    January 31, 2021

    The Week’s Most Velocious, Ferocious, and Braggadocious Headlines

    PRAISE RHESUS FOR A BOUNTIFUL HARVEST!

    Not every country is lucky enough to be situated next door to Mexico. Indeed, illegal immigration would be far less of a problem in the U.S. if not for the marriage made in heaven of an agriculturally fertile nation with stuff that needs to be picked and an impoverished nation filled with exceptionally skilled pickers. Mexico may not have produced many Nobel Prize winners, astronauts, or disease-curing scientists, but hot damn when it comes to yanking a thing off another thing, Mexicans are undeniably the best.

    Unfortunately for the people of Thailand, Mexicans would have to get their backs very wet to travel there for fieldwork. And sure, India lies right across the Bay of Bengal, but those laborers are only good for fertilization.

    Speaking of which, India is one of the largest importers of coconuts in the world. Indians consume more than 12 million tons of coconuts a year. Considering that coconuts act as a laxative, one might question the wisdom of such mass consumption in a nation with no toilets. On the supply side, Thailand is the world’s No. 2 exporter of Gilligan fruit, second only to Indonesia (Thailand exports over 70,000 tons of coconuts a year). As a nation with a pedophile-based economy, it’s important for Thailand to stay competitive in the coconut game, especially with Jeffrey Epstein no longer pumping cash into the treasury.

    Deprived of Mexicans, the Thais have been using monkeys to do the coconut picking. This has been going on for decades, but most Americans only became aware of the practice last week, when, following an exposé by PETA, shopping giants Wegmans, Costco, Food Lion, Stop & Shop, and Target agreed to stop carrying coconut products made by the Thai company Chaokoh—a leader in the field of monkey pickers.

    The process of creating monkey farmhands is fascinating if not necessarily humane. Captive monkeys are trained from infancy to recognize a ripe coconut from an unripe one. Then they’re forced for days on end to learn how to “spin” a coconut (lacking the hand size to pluck one, monkeys need to spin it to twist it off at the stem). They’re then put through ground-level obstacle courses to time their ability to detach ripe coconuts hanging from ropes. The monkeys that graduate with honors not only become pros, but find themselves possessing more useful skills than the average University of California grad.

    The lucky monkeys are then shackled to long chains and sent up into trees to do the work for real.

    Chaokoh had previously pledged to abandon simian slavery, but an undercover PETA investigation revealed that whenever international monkey rights auditors showed up, the company would dress the furry little laborers in bonnets and dresses, stick them in prams, and pass them off as very ugly children.

    PETA’s call for a boycott is getting pushback from Thai coconut growers, who point out that monkeys have no fear of heights, so using them in the tall trees reduces the risk of human injury (Thai men are very mindful of their own health and well-being, as evidenced by the nation’s insanely high cigarette consumption rate). Thai coconut growers claim that they treat the monkeys as family, which, grading on a curve, is a somewhat benign conceit in a nation with so much child buggering.
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    PETA, comprised as it is of leftists who want to flood the U.S. with illegal human pickers who can be abused and exploited in the worst possible conditions for the least possible pay, has pledged to pursue a ban on all Thai coconut products that come to your table straight from a monkey’s paw.

    As for the monkeys, no word on whether they plan to unionize. While monkey trade unions don’t have a great success record, at the very least the meetings consist of far less poo-flinging than those held by SAG/AFTRA.

    DIFF’RENT CROAKS

    Hollywood loves interracial adoption. More often than not, the stories that make it to the big or small screen tell the tale of a loving white family that gets really, really lucky with their adopted black child, who, bolstered by the kind of support one only finds outside da ghetto, becomes a football star, a music icon, or a malformed catchphrase generator hooked to a dialysis machine.

    There’ve been transracial adoption films that reverse the races, but those parents are rarely as fortunate (“Do all white boys age backwards, or just ours?”).

    Still, the movie messaging on transracial adoption is uniformly positive.

    The real-life messaging, not so much.

    Remember Jennifer and Sarah Hart? They were the white lesbians who decided that being lesbian just wasn’t woke enough (these days, lesbianism is about as shocking as a nose ring). So they adopted six black kids (two sets of three siblings), because that’s the way to get Facebook likes! And indeed, the Harts practically lived on social media, with the proud moms posting daily about how brave and anti-racist they were to be raising the children of crackheads and felons.

    Online, the Hart family was perfect. In real life, “my two mommies” were beating, starving, and torturing the children for fun. When neighbors reported the parents to CPS in March 2018 (and not for the first time), Jenn and Sarah piled the kids into the ol’ SUV and drove everyone off a cliff into the Pacific Ocean.

    It was the Brady Bunch series finale if directed by David Cronenberg.

    Last week, America saw the rebooted “Hart Bunch” with an urban twist. Sassy black mama Ariel Robinson took home the grand prize in last year’s season of the Food Network show Worst Cooks in America. Turns out being a terrible cook is the best thing that can be said about this water buffalo, who (also last year) adopted three white kids (two boys and a girl) to supplement the two biological children she and her husband already had.

    Like the Harts, Robinson lived on social media, posting endlessly about how her “white children” have “white privilege,” and how she was the great racial equalizer in her family, making sure that her ofay devil kids learned to be “equal” to her black ones.

    The similarities to the Hart case are striking, especially the fixation on hair (the Harts constantly posted about messing with their black kids’ hair, and Robinson obsessively posted about blackifying her white daughter’s hair). And the parallels don’t end there. Last week, Robinson and her husband were arrested for beating their little white girl to death. She was only 3 years old.

    If there’s a lesson here, it might be that anybody, black or white, who sees a transracial adopted child as a trophy, as a means to flaunt wokeness and win social media influencer points, should never be allowed to adopt. Frankly, it’s probably a sound idea to mandate that if transracial adoptions are to happen at all, the parents should be banned from posting about it. A policy like that, which would quickly weed out the unbalanced, ideologically driven, attention-seeking homicidal lunatics, might just be the one social media ban that all good people could get behind.

    THE EMPRESS JONES

    If that last story was slightly depressing, this one should lighten the mood. Indeed, this is almost certainly the feel-good story of the month.

    Kristen Gray has the kind of face you see in TV commercials when some hack producer is trying to convey “black pride.” Young woman, mocha skin, wildly natural nappy-ass hair, and a resting look of “I’m a proud black woman, behold my pride” permanently stamped across her smug kisser. Gray is lesbian, too, which means she’s exactly the kind of person who’d be featured in one of those “social justice” commercials for a product that has no need for it…the young, semi-attractive black lesbian buying a box of Cheez-It because dammit if Cheez-It stands for anything it’s social justice.

    Gray blogs about her travels around the world, and her favorite thing to do is brag about how “countries of color” are so much better, so much more tolerant, than racist AmeriKKKa.

    On Jan. 16, Gray posted a series of tweets about her yearlong stay in Bali. The crux of her tweetstorm was, Bali is a paradise for black Americans who want to live like the kings and queens they were before the white man stole them from Wakanda. Gray boasted of her lavish lifestyle, attainable only because of Bali’s Third World economy, which allows an average American to live quite comfortably. She invited other black Americans to join her, with the promise that “black Bali” was fast becoming the nation’s moneyed elite. She even gave instructions on how to skirt Indonesia’s Covid travel restrictions.

    Gray went so far as to offer an e-book ($30) that touted the joys of “being Black in Bali,” emphasizing the “safety, low cost of living, luxury lifestyle, and ***** friendly” environment (for $50 she gave personal consultations on how to make the move to Wakanda’s new Asian colony).

    Sadly, Gray forgot one rather important lesson: That “I’m untouchable because I’m a proud black lesbian with a natural ’fro” routine doesn’t mean $#@! to Indonesians.

    Her tweets spread like wildfire among Bali natives, who accused her of being a “gentrifier” and a “colonizer” and, best of all, privileged! Yes, Ms. Oppressed Black American was now being hit with every charge she’d previously lobbed at whites.

    Gray, displaying the lack of introspection and self-awareness that is damn-near inborn in American blacks these days, responded to the criticism by (can you guess?) calling the Balinese “racists!” And the Balinese government responded by hauling her and her equally nappy girlfriend into detention, slapping Covid masks on ’em, and putting their proud black asses on the next flight back to the U.S.

    Before departing Bali, Gray released a statement claiming that she was the victim of antigay prejudice, and that she was only being deported because of her race and sexual orientation. Because God forbid a black American should gain perspective about how the concept of “privilege” is subjective and transitory, and how notions of “colonizer,” “exploiter,” and “gentrifier” are not bound by the definitions of The New York Times.

    Following her forced departure, Balinese Twitterers and Instagrammers ridiculed Gray for her unsuccessful attempt to use the “race card” and “LGBT card” to prevent her deportation.

    And now poor Kristen Gray is back in Los Angeles, no longer living like a queen in a lush tropical jungle, exiled from paradise by the savages and peons who should’ve worshiped her skin color and sexual predilection. Roaming the streets like an average schmo, she’s forced to return to her previous life of picking apart everything straight white males do as “racist” and “homophobic,” ruing her fate as a captive in Nazi America, living better than 90% of the world but acting as though she’s Jean Valjean trapped between the walls of le Bagne de Toulon.

    It’s a tragic ending, both for Gray and the millions of Americans who don’t mind the idea of sticking disgruntled blacks on a Third World island and abandoning them to rule the jungle like designer-clothed Tarzans.

    Bali’s out, but perhaps Madagascar might be persuaded to pick up the slack.

    THE NITTY GRITTY DIRT BANNED

    In ancient times—like, twenty years ago—“racist” words were fairly easy to identify. Because they were racist words. And, being easily identified, they were successfully banned from the public square, which left black activists and “woke” whites looking for new targets.

    If your blogging career at Mic or Ebony or Salon depends on hounding whites who say “niggger,” you’re just not gonna fill your daily quota of expository vomit (especially if Quentin Tarantino is off-limits for criticism).

    Soon enough, leftist word cops were forced to go after words that sound like racist words. Niggardly fell quickly, as did the poor overeducated bastards foolish enough to use the word in daily life. Next to go was the Mandarin “stammer word” (as in the English “uh, um, er”) nèi ge, which, when pronounced properly, sounds like “nee-ga.” A USC professor lost his classroom over that one. Chink in the armor, spick-and-span, spook, nip, and coon soon followed.

    Before long, illiterate Huffington Post hacks ran out of those kinds of words, too. So it was time to go after words that, while neither racist nor racist-sounding, have racist origins! From Cracked to BuzzFeed, from Upworthy to CNN, it was all-out war on words like cakewalk, master bedroom, blacklist, freeholder, hysterical (misogynist!), grandfathered, blackballed, gypped, and phrases like hip hip hooray (anti-Semitic!), sold down the river, no can do, and long time no see.

    Sure, the woke literati couldn’t agree on the supposedly racist origins of those phrases (Upworthy claimed that “peanut gallery” is racist because “the nickname ‘peanut’ was given due to the fact that peanuts were introduced to America at the same time as the slave trade. Because of this, there was a connection drawn between black people and peanuts,” while CNN claimed that it’s racist because “the term dates back to the vaudeville era of the late 19th century and referred to the sections of the theater where Black people typically sat”), but who cares about accuracy when white people are using words!

    But even the worst diarrhea eventually peters out, and in time, once every leftist site on the ’net had done its “racist word origins” piece, it looked like there might be no more mountains to ban.

    Oh ye of little faith! The newest craze is to ban words that are falsely rumored to have racist origins. Last year, The Today show told its viewers to stop referring to chocolate sprinkles as “jimmies,” because the primarily East Coast term for little brown sprinkles comes from “Jim Crow.” That this is a patently false claim matters not. Even imaginary racism must be extirpated! Two months ago, the University of Michigan banned the word “picnic” because the word was originally used for the outdoor lunches that would accompany lynchings. “Pick a niggger” (to lynch) simply got shortened to “picnic” over time.

    Even leftist sources like Snopes, PolitiFact, and Reuters agree that this is a 100% fake origin story (the word derives from the French piquer and nique), but it’s not like U Michigan has any responsibility to teach facts or anything.

    And last summer, the BBC ordered its on-air talent to stop saying “nitty-gritty” because the term “is thought to refer to the detritus found in the bottom of transatlantic slave ships.”

    Except no, it doesn’t. Someone at the BBC just made that $#@! up. And last week, after BBC political editor Laura Kuenssberg was slammed for using the term during a Brexit podcast, new BBC Director-General Tim Davie did the unthinkable—actual research—and, after determining that the “racist origin” story was pure bollocks, he revoked the ban.

    One small victory across the Atlantic. Heaven help Salon and Vox if such sanity spreads here.

    MAYOR OF SIMPLETON

    Portland mayor Ted Wheeler represents a new kind of American Democrat—the kind nobody likes (and that includes Democrats), but who keeps winning because voters fear what might replace him. L.A. mayor Garcetti is like that. No one has anything good to say about the man except that at least he’s not a George Soros-backed “black power” lunatic who advocates the complete dissolution of the police department (Garcetti merely advocates budget cuts, which is center-right on the current Democrat curve).

    In November, Wheeler became the first Portland mayor in two decades to win a second term. Not because anyone cares for him—the city’s Antifa thugs consider him too “right-wing” because he doesn’t let them murder at will, and the city’s decent working folks view him as a weakling who allowed downtown to be turned into a permanent riot zone. But Wheeler’s opponent last November, Sarah Iannarone, was a literal murderous communist. This is a woman who’s proud of the fact that in 2016 she cast a ballot that was comprised of the following write-in candidates: Ho Chi Minh, Joseph Stalin, Mao Zedong, Che Guevara, Fidel Castro, and Vladimir Lenin. Iannarone launched her 2020 campaign by declaring “I am ANTIFA!” while wearing a skirt featuring the faces of Stalin, Guevara, and Mao.

    Faced with the choice between an ineffectual weakling and a violence-endorsing would-be genocidal maniac, Portlanders stuck with Wheeler. And Wheeler is stuck with Portland, a city that basically only chose him because the alternative was Betty Beria.

    Antifa and BLM terrorists have resumed their nightly riots, smashing the Oregon Democratic Party headquarters, an ICE facility, and other buildings in Portland’s downtown. First responders were attacked, and residents who’d hoped that a Biden win would mean they could venture outside again at night realized that besiegement is to be their “new normal” for the foreseeable future.

    Ordinary Portlanders who are pissed off about Covid restrictions on local businesses are equally unhappy with Mr. Lesser Evil. Last week, as Wheeler was dining maskless, a local attorney decided to record yet another example of a Democrat Covid lockdowner violating his own regulations. As the mayor was leaving McMenamins Pub, the lawyer—Cary Cadonau—approached and heckled Wheeler for eating indoors with no mask. The mayor responded by invoking that odd bit of lockdowner logic that because he’d been eating in a structure that had been built outside the restaurant, it qualifies as “outdoor dining” because a building isn’t a building if it was built around outdoor seating.

    Like Wonder Woman’s plane, yes there are walls but you’re not supposed to see them. In architecture, this is called a “Harvey Rabbit” structure.

    When the disgruntled Cadonau refused to back off, and when the mayor judged that the man was closer than six feet away, he pepper sprayed his constituent, because in Portland that “six feet of distance” thing applies only to mayors, not store owners and residents who deal with nightly violations of their personal space.

    Needless to say, Antifa drubbed Wheeler for using pepper spray, calling him a fascist who demands protection for himself while leaving poor, defenseless rioters at the mercy of cops who don’t let them enter private residences to murder people. And the right (or what passes for it in Portland) condemned Wheeler for his hypocrisy in demanding his own “safe space” while depriving downtown residents of the right to have theirs.

    Funny enough, Cadonau has since apologized to Wheeler, most likely due to the realization that in a town as hopeless as Portland, with a mayor who’s only mayor because the alternative is literal death by Stasi, residents might as well let the poor bastard have a night out at the invisible pub, where he can try to forget, if only for a few hours, just how $#@!ed he actually is.
    We must picture Hell as a state where everyone is perpetually concerned about his own dignity and advancement, where everyone has a grievance, and where everyone lives the deadly serious passions of envy, self-importance, and resentment. - C. S. Lewis

  14. #132
    The Week That Perished

    https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-125/

    Takimag

    February 07, 2021
    The Week That Perished
    photo credit: Bigstock

    The Week’s Most Leveled, Bedeviled, and Disheveled Headlines

    ACRONYMS ARE ANTI-BLACKRONYMS
    WTF OMG SMH. It’s only February and already the people who do the stuff that makes you say, “It can’t get any stupider than this” have gone and done something stupider than this. Yes, the leftist guardians of social justice and racial “equity” (get used to that word; it’s gonna be drilled into your skull like an orbitoclast for the next four years) have decided that, in their never-ending quest to label non-racist things as racist, acronyms are now the product of “white supremacy.”

    Like so many plagues, this one started in that storied California town where the streets are paved with poo—San Francisco. Last week the San Francisco Unified School District declared that its arts department, VAPA (Visual and Performing Arts), must no longer be known by that acronym, because acronyms are “racist.”

    According to Sam Bass, director of the arts department formerly known as VAPA, “The use of so many acronyms within the educational field often tends to alienate those who may not speak English to understand the acronym.” Bass was then asked why that makes acronyms “racist,” as there are plenty of white people in the world who don’t speak English. But sadly, before he could reply, he slipped on a transient’s droppings and impaled himself on a pile of AIDS needles.

    AIDS, by the way, is an acronym. So AIDS is racist. But KKK is not. Like NSDAP, KKK is an “initialism,” which is not racist (it’s an initialism if the letters are pronounced individually, but an acronym if they are spoken as one word). GLAAD is an acronym. Hence, gay people are racist. MALDEF, the name of the largest Latino advocacy group in the U.S., is also an acronym, which is odd if acronyms are anti-immigrant. It’s almost as if those San Francisco “educators” are just making this nonsense up as they go along.

    Spoiler alert: They are. Bass told the New York Post that the decision to abandon acronyms was based on the findings of a 1999 “paper” by “anti-Zionist Jew” Tema Okun of the Israeli Committee Against House Demolitions (it’s okay—PLO is not an acronym). However, Okun’s “paper” doesn’t mention acronyms at all. The things she does mention as the most racist evils since Hitler wore blackface include “perfectionism,” “a sense of urgency” (like what Democrats always invoke for why this or that climate-change or social-justice policy must pass immediately), “worship of the written word,” “with us or against us thinking” (like the kind of ideological “purity tests” being used by Democrats against “election deniers”), “individualism,” “objectivity,” and “the right to comfort” (because heaven knows leftists of color never demand “safe spaces” where they can exercise their “right to comfort”).

    “Understand that discomfort is at the root of all growth and learning,” Okun declared in her paper.

    Seems like a perfectly good argument for demolishing the houses of Palestinians, then. All that discomfort will surely aid their growth and learning.

    Sam Bass was unable to explain why he cited the Okun paper as the source of his anti-acronym crusade, when the Okun paper doesn’t mention acronyms. But to any objective (racist) individuals (racist) reading these written words (racist), one final acronym seems unavoidable when describing the sad state of San Francisco today: FUBAR.

    LUNATIC INADVERTENTLY PROVES HIMSELF RIGHT
    The innocent wisdom of a child is nothing compared with the mentally dissociative wisdom of the paranoid schizo. Steven Brandenburg is the Wisconsin ex-pharmacist who purposely destroyed hundreds of doses of the Moderna Covid vaccine last December. Brandenburg worked as the overnight pharmacist at the Advocate Aurora Health Hospital, and the day before Christmas, he intentionally left over 570 vaccine doses at room temperature to spoil (either that, or he was trying to get in good with Santa by leaving free vaccinations instead of cookies).

    Several patients ended up receiving those spoiled doses.

    Turns out pharmacist Brandenburg is, as they say, a few caplets short of a refill. Dude’s no generic-brand OTC nutcase; he’s as daffy as they come. After initially trying to chalk the destruction of the vaccines to innocent error, now—in advance of a Feb. 9 court hearing—the cuckoo chemist has admitted that he destroyed the doses on purpose, for reasons that seem like the product of a man in need of meds, rather than one who should be dispensing them. Brandenburg told investigators that he believes the vaccine alters the DNA of those who take it. He also claims the vaccine will implant recipients with a microchip. And it’ll make people infertile, too (probably for the best, as who knows what kind of mutant babies would result from all that reconfigured DNA?).

    However (in Peter Griffin voice), “you think that’s bad,” Brandenburg’s just gettin’ warmed up. He also believes that the world is flat, and the sky is just “a shield put up by the government to prevent individuals from seeing God.”

    FactCheck: Most theologians agree that God would not allow his presence to be concealed by a sky shield. Plus, according to Elon Musk, sky shield technology is still several years away from reaching a Deity-proof level of security. We therefore rate this claim false.

    According to friends and family, Brandenburg has been into “conspiracy theories” for nearly a decade. And apparently last June his wife finally had enough of his bunkum, filing for divorce and essentially telling him to hit the road and keep on walkin’ till he finds the $#@!ing curvature. She last saw him on Dec. 6, when he forced her to accept a bunch of “prepper” supplies because apparently the sky shield was about to fall (all hail the prophet Chicken Little).
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    The inadvertently funny part of this story is, without meaning to, Brandenburg ended up proving his point about the dangers of vaccines (and other meds), just not in the way he intended. By all accounts, Brandenburg had reached the position of hospital pharmacist with flying colors, acing all exams and becoming licensed like anyone else in his field. Yet he’s clearly insane. A reminder that the people we trust with potentially life-or-death matters of medicine are every bit as fallible as the rest of us. All the more reason that the concept, so popular in the Covid era, of “trusting thee science” should be met with skepticism when it’s misused to mean “trust thee scientists.”

    A doctor or a scientist can be just as batty as a 7-Eleven bum. But a 7-Eleven bum can’t inject you with an intentionally expired vaccine dose.

    “Trust but verify” worked for Ronald Reagan, and it’s a damn good guiding principle for dealing with matters of healthcare, too.
    “A doctor or a scientist can be just as batty as a 7-Eleven bum. But a 7-Eleven bum can’t inject you with an intentionally expired vaccine dose.”

    Reserve your faith for your relationship with the Almighty…that is, if you can see Him beyond the sky shield.

    NAPOLI TURNS TO CRAPOLI
    Remember the good old days when Italian Mafia families were comprised of nice guys who cared about the community and only harmed them mugs wot had it coming? Well, those were the “good old days” in movies, at least, when godfathers cared about the old neighborhood and never refused a favor on this, the day of their daughter’s wedding. And if they put horse heads under the odd sheet here or there, it was only because a pedo film director had it coming.

    How times have changed! The Italian Campania region is under the viselike control of the Camorra crime family, and let’s just say that the Camorra are not exactly the Corleones. Along with drug selling and various protection rackets, the Camorra made their mint by cornering the toxic waste disposal industry in and around Naples, creating what has become known as the “Triangle of Death,” an area 25 kilometers outside Naples that’s essentially one giant cancer-causing illegal toxic waste dump. When that area reached capacity, the Camorra got creative, hiding toxic waste in parks, ditches, backyards, ravines, and caves. It’s believed that the Camorra crime family has illegally disposed of over 10 million tons of industrial waste; cancer in Camorra-controlled territory is a good 40 to 47% higher than elsewhere in Italy.

    It seems only natural that a Mafia clan that profits from detritus would eventually turn its attention to Third World refugees. The Camorra have “worked with” (as in, “tendered unrefusable offers to”) Napoli officials to make the city a safe harbor for African migrants, who are then employed in the sex trade (the females) or the drug trade (the males).

    In January 2019, when Naples mayor Luigi de Magistris made a huge deal out of proclaiming his city a haven for African refugees, the world press was kind enough not to mention the Camorra goons pressing a gun to his back.

    According to The Guardian, the Camorra traffic in human toxic waste has turned the Castel Volturno municipality outside Naples into a “war zone like Beirut” with “the highest murder rates in the country.”

    And now the Camorra family is making a new demand of the Napoli natives: No more sirens on emergency vehicles. According to The Sunday Times, “Ambulance drivers in Naples are demanding police protection after the local mafia ordered them not to use their sirens and flashing lights because they disturbed drug-pushers.” Apparently, the sirens and lights scare off the druggies and johns, robbing the pushers and pimps of customers.

    Napoli ambulance drivers also report being assaulted by family members who become angry when a loved one dies before the ambulance arrives.

    So it’s kind of a lose-lose; use the siren and get there quick, the Mafia beats you up. Turn off the siren and get there slow, the family beats you up.

    This is what happens when you let Fredo run the town. Between the homegrown criminals and the immigrant wretches, Naples is a city where sleeping with the fishes is fast becoming an attractive option compared with living in a Mafia-run Third World toxic waste war zone.

    THE GIRL WHO CRIED WOLFOWITZ
    Misha Defonseca had a story that was too good to be true, a story so harrowing, so unbelievable, so ultimately redemptive and hopeful, those who heard it came away positively transformed. When she was but a child of 7 tender years—a Jewish girl in occupied Belgium—the brutish Nazis deported her parents to a death camp. But little Misha got away…barely. Escaping into some nearby woods, with no survival skills, all looked lost. But then a pack of wolves adopted her as one of their own, teaching her how to hunt, forage, and stay warm, and providing her with remedial classes in basic math and a small amount of beginner trig, but only at the middle-school level (they were wolves, after all).

    Having been conditioned to think of herself as a canine, Misha survived the war and went on to live a normal postwar life, if one doesn’t count the constant crotch-licking and the occasional instances of being scared awake by her own farts.

    For some odd reason, Were-Misha never mentioned her lupine wartime experience until 1997, when, at age 60, she began shopping around her memoirs. Publishers never asked for any proof of her tale, and besides, Misha claimed that amnesia suffered during her ordeal had blanked out any memory of her human birth-name (she decided to go with Misha after she left the pack because her wolf-given name of “Oooowoooowl Hooooowoooo” didn’t sound Jewish enough).

    Her book, Misha: A Mémoire of the Holocaust Years, was translated into twenty languages, selling millions of copies around the world. In 2007 it was adapted into a French feature film, Survivre Avec les Loups.

    In 1998 Misha sued her publisher, claiming that she deserved more money than the book had earned her in royalties, because apparently the wolves never taught her basic accounting. At the trial, Misha wowed the Massachusetts jurors with four words: “Jew” “Holocaust” “survivor” “wolves.” They awarded her $7.5 million dollars. Misha then turned to the judge and angrily repeated, in a louder tone, “JEW” “HOLOCAUST” SURVIVOR” “WOLVES.”

    The judge upped the damages to $23 million.

    Facing bankruptcy, Misha’s ex-publisher, now on the hook for a huge amount of dough, did the thing that a more prudent and less opportunistic publisher would’ve done at the very beginning of this affair: She did some research into the story.

    Turns out every square inch of Misha’s tale was a lie. She ain’t Jewish (she was born and raised Catholic); her parents were Resistance fighters until her dad was arrested by the Nazis and gave up his comrades, leading to the family becoming pariahs; and the closest she ever came to seeing a wolf was reading Little Red Riding Hood.

    The publisher was able to get a court to overturn the civil suit verdict, and Misha the Wolf Woman quietly vanished into the nighttime fog.

    Last week, a new documentary film about this debacle premiered at Sundance. Misha and the Wolves, which received glowing praise at the festival, is set to be released to the public on Netflix later this year.

    This bodes poorly for the Simon Wiesenthal Center’s Museum of Tolerance, which is being forced to revamp its wing about Jewish children who were rescued from the Holocaust by animals. “We’ve removed the Misha exhibit,” the SWC’s Rabbi Marvin Heir told the AP, “but we stand by the testimony of Yitzak Schleimerman, who survived Auschwitz by hiding in the trees outside the camp with a family of chimps.”

    The film of Schleimerman’s life, Torahzan of the Apes, is scheduled to premiere this May.

    BUNGLE CRUISE
    It’s been 24 years since Disney rejiggered the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at its theme parks to make the pirates less sexist (because if pirates were known for anything, it was respecting the sanctity of the female body). Last year, Disney pledged to redo its Splash Mountain attraction because some of the ride’s themes were taken from that most forbidden of Disney films, Song of the South (Peter Griffin voice part 2: “You think that’s bad, you shoulda seen that other Song of the South attraction, Haunted House Negro”).

    And now the inevitable PC hammer has come for that most venerable attraction, the Jungle Cruise. Frankly, with its depiction of African native headhunters and frightened tribesmen chased up trees Dan’l Boone song-style, it’s surprising that it took this long for Disney to feel the heat.

    Although a date for the Jungle Cruise “renovation” has not been set, it’s expected that it’ll occur this year at all Disney theme parks worldwide (the first Jungle Cruise opened along with the original Disneyland in 1955).

    In a series of statements released by a rainbow coalition of multiracial male and female Disney execs, the company outlined its new plans for the attraction. Gone will be all of those uncomfortable animatronic figures. Instead, the role of the ship’s skipper will be expanded, in order to “tell diverse, inclusive stories” to the boat’s riders.

    An official Disney press release further elucidates:

    We want to make sure everybody has the best time—that guests from all over the world can connect with the stories we share and that how we bring those to life are respectful of the diverse world we live in. And when they get off the attraction, they know that we have done our homework because these are the details that matter.

    So get ready, thrill-seekers! When you board the revamped Jungle Cruise ride, expect to hear “diverse, inclusive stories,” secure in the knowledge that the park “did its homework” to get the “details” right!

    That’s going to be much more fun than charging hippos or water-spraying elephants.

    Tour Guide: “Welcome to the Jungle Cruise adventure! My name is Mbesi, and I will be your skipper. Are you ready for fun? Good! As we embark on our journey, let me tell you the story of little Sipho and the trickster lion. Sipho, who the villagers had nicknamed Mbweha, or ‘jackal,’ wanted nothing more than to own a drum, which we call ngoma. Hawu, his sister Ngesi exclaimed one evening at a dinner of rice (or as we say, mchele) and beans (maharagwe—can you say that?), tomorrow I shall find you a suitable drum…who can remember the word for “drum”? Anyone? Yes, ngoma. Very good! Kwasuka sukela, the next day…”

    Small Child: “Mom, when do we get to the animals?!”

    Mom: “Any minute, honey. He’s just setting the scene.”

    [30 minutes later]

    Tour Guide: “…so Bhubesi the trickster lion had gathered the magic sticks, or as we say, vijiti vya uchawi, and little Sipho grew excited even as Ntemo the warthog, or as we would call him, Ntemo nguruw, warned him of Bhubesi’s nature as a scoundrel and deceiver. It was then that Ngesi arrived with the ten stones of bravery, or mawe ya ushujaa, and…”

    Child (sobbing): “Where are the animals!”

    Mom: “This…this can’t be the entire ride.”

    [45 minutes later]

    Tour Guide: “…so Sipho, recalling his nickname of Mbweha, thought to himself, what would a jackal do? Little did he know that Isante the learned owl, or bundi in my native tongue, had been watching with interest…”

    Child: “Please drown me, Mom. Please, throw me overboard.”

    The ride finally ends with one animatronic diorama—a faithful re-creation of the Zulu scientists who cured malaria, as they accept their Nobel Prize from genuflecting cave-dwelling white men.

    Sadly, nobody on the boat sees it, all having chosen the comparative bliss of a watery death.

    No refunds will be offered to any riders who survive.
    We must picture Hell as a state where everyone is perpetually concerned about his own dignity and advancement, where everyone has a grievance, and where everyone lives the deadly serious passions of envy, self-importance, and resentment. - C. S. Lewis

  15. #133
    https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-126/

    The Week’s Most Teachable, Reachable, and Unimpeachable Headlines

    ILL-STARRED INTERSECTIONALIST
    Somebody get that sista a rabbit’s foot!

    There’s bad luck, and then there’s Dr. Crystallee Crain, the urban contemporary version of Schleprock.

    Last week, the Portland Tribune announced that the fair city of Antifa and perpetual riots was losing one of its finest voices in higher ed. Crain, who’d spent the past three years teaching at Portland State University’s Child and Youth Family Studies Department (she also sat on the city’s Human Rights Commission), was pulling up stakes, because racist Portlanders wouldn’t stop hate-criming her.

    As the Tribune detailed, Crain’s problems started on a dark night in August 2018, when she was leaving a friend’s birthday party at a local tavern. Alone on the street, waiting for her Lyft, Crain was startled by the sight of five evil white male racists running toward her! The men were “all dressed the same, in tank tops, khaki shorts and socks,” Crain told the newspaper (today’s fashion-savvy hate criminals like to coordinate). As the racists chased her, they called her by name and chanted, “Dr. Niggerbitch” (coincidentally, that’s the title of a failed BET sitcom starring Wanda Sykes as a sassy inner-city physician).

    Crain complained that racist neighbors saw the incident but failed to help. After evading her tormentors by hiding in a bush for ninety minutes, she called another Lyft and went home.

    Cops could find no evidence that the incident occurred, but that’s only because they’re racist.

    A year later, in July 2019, Crain was at a local pizzeria when a gang of similarly dressed evil white racist males pushed her from behind, again screaming, “Dr. Niggerbitch” (is that, like, a Portland thing?). Crain could only identify the attackers’ “white calves” (khaki shorts, remember?), but police, who studied security camera footage of the area from the night of the “crime,” again saw no evidence that it happened.

    Damn racist cops!

    And it doesn’t end there. Crain told social justice radio station KPFA that she’d received “bomb threats” at her previous teaching job (she referred to them as “fake bomb threats,” apparently oblivious to the extent to which that gave the game away).

    Crain also revealed (as an interview subject for a 2019 book) that, back in 2016 when she was living in Oakland, racist cops forced her then husband to lie about a domestic disturbance in their home. The KKKops got the husband to falsely claim that she struck him…which Crain admits she totally did, but only in self-defense. The Nazi policemen then tormented her for hours at the station.

    This chick cannot catch a break!

    When PSU wouldn’t give her special protection because of her X-Men-like superpower as Hate Crime Magneto, Crain decided to leave the city for good. She told the Tribune that she’s been offered a new job at a California university, teaching on matters of equity and intersectionalism.

    Good luck to that university. Crain seems like a very stable and trouble-free employee. Maybe she can be partnered in a classroom with Jussie Smollett.

    A KANG GETS CROWNED
    Sticking with a theme, we proceed to Placer County, Calif. (near Sacramento). Romey Kang is a UC Davis graduate (bachelor’s in biological sciences) who works for a medical weight-loss center. He also runs his own dog walking, training, and sitting business, whimsically named Romey’s Rascals.

    Make a note that he walks dogs, and he trains dogs. But he does not, however, train dogs to walk. If your dog does not know how to walk, Romey’s Rascals is not the place to take it, because proper walking is not Kang’s forte.

    That’ll make more sense shortly.

    Last month, Romey Kang was the victim of the most horrific racist hate crime in the recorded history of the known universe (at least that’s how the papers portrayed it). He had been visiting nearby Folsom (the city, not the prison), and three (or two, or one) evil Nazi racists gave him a terrible case of the black ’n’ blues.

    “Man’s Face is Broken in ‘Hate Attack’ Near Sacramento,” bellowed Yahoo News. Kang, who was found bloody and unconscious by cops on a city street, told police that as he’d been skipping merrily from a local drinking establishment, a “Caucasian man in a white shirt” beat him up for no other reason than “he didn’t like the color of my skin.”

    Kang later told cops it was actually two Caucasian white-shirted racists.

    Then it became three, because Nazis are shape-shifters who reproduce by fission.

    Kang whined to Yahoo that “my cheekbones are broken, they have plates behind them now, my hard palate and upper teeth were separated from the rest of my skull. The doctors said it’s a miracle I didn’t have a brain injury.” He “lost most of his lower teeth,” his “nose was too broken to put plates into,” and his “jaw isn’t aligning well at all.”

    The heavy drinking and the magical multiplying racists didn’t tip anyone off that the story might have holes. After all, Kang, who was oddly cagey in interviews regarding his ethnicity (he appears Indian, and Romey as a male given name, and Kang as a surname, can be Punjabi), pointed out that the attacker(s) stole nothing. So if robbery had not been the motive, what else could it have been? Sure, if he were some comically clumsy Hrundi V. Bakshi caricature, one might suggest that he drunkenly face-planted onto the pavement, rendering his visage bruised, bloated, and birdie-numb–numbed.

    But such a suggestion would be racist. Indians are fine walkers; that’s why Gandhi never drove.

    With the publicity provided by the breathless Yahoo and CBS News coverage, Kang launched a GoFundMe, which quickly spread online. By the beginning of February, he’d made over $20,000.

    But last week, police checked nearby home and business surveillance videos, and while they didn’t see a hate crime, they were treated to a wacky drunken solo face-first fall video worthy of Bob Saget.

    The local CBS affiliate broke the terrible news that Kang’s face was self-broken.

    GoFundMe has suspended the fundraiser, and it’s very likely that Kang will be criminally charged for filing a false police report.

    A “rascal” indeed. And considering that there’s likely not much future in being a dog walker who can’t walk, it looks like once Kang is free of his legal entanglements and looking for employment, he’ll have to hit the road and pound the pavement.

    Again.

    SLURRING THEIR SPEECH
    Perhaps all white people should learn sign language. A radical solution, to be sure. But more and more it’s becoming impossible for whiteys to say anything—anything at all—without it being considered a fireable, and cancel-able, offense.

    Poor Donald McNeil. For decades, ol’ Don had been The New York Times’ star reporter on matters of science and health (he’d been with the paper since 1976). And the dawning of the Covid Era gave Donny his moment in the spotlight. Whether Fauci was advocating wearing no masks, one mask, two masks, or the current directive of thirty (28 over the mouth and nose, and two over the rectum to catch errant farts), Don McNeil was there, to dutifully report “thee science” and educate the filthy masses.

    Speaking of filthy, in 2019 McNeil accompanied a bunch of privileged upper-income teenagers to the disease-infested tropical petri dish known as Peru, as part of the Times’ yearly program of coordinating international trips for spoiled egocentric students of means, with the newspaper’s reporters serving as their tour guides. Think of it as similar to “take your daughter to work day,” but with an international twist, along the lines of “take your Zoomer $#@! to South America day.”

    Sadly, McNeil, being an older gent, didn’t realize that today’s young people, lacking a ’nam or an AIDS to thin their ranks and teach them humility, saw the vacation as a way to cancel an oldie. Ostensibly, the kids were in Peru to study “community healthcare in impoverished nations.” But in reality, the children of Times readers care about South and Central Americans only when they’re held in DONALD TRUMP’S RACIST BORDER CAGES. Free-range Peruvians in their native habitat are of little interest.

    So the brats decided to make the most of their trip by coercing Don McNeil into saying “******,” and then getting him canceled.

    Covid lockdowns and school closures have resulted in a plague of student suicides, but sadly not among the kids who most deserve that fate.

    At dinner one night during the trip, McNeil’s students asked if they could pick his brain regarding a classmate back in the States who’d said the word “******.” As the student was white, what penalty should have befallen him? Expulsion? Imprisonment? Death by breaking wheel?

    McNeil, not realizing that he was being drawn into a trap by the current generation’s unique amalgam of Dennis the Menace and Lavrentiy Beria, asked the obvious question of his youthful interlocutors: Did the white student use the word as a slur, or was he repeating it in the act of recounting a news item or a rap lyric?

    And the kids were like, “Repeating what?”

    And McNeil was like, “That word.”

    “What word?”

    “******.”

    And with that the joyful youngsters screamed in unison, “Ooooooooooh, we made you say ‘******’! You’re dead, grup!”

    And dead he was. After nearly two years of telling the “Peru ******” tale to all who’d listen, last week the young Stasis finally found an “investigative journalist” at The Daily Beast who recognized the story’s value. At first, Times editor Dean Baquet responded by defending McNeil, stating that his intent in using the word didn’t appear to be racist. But then the little dears from the field trip said, “Hmm, then maybe you’re the racist,” and Baquet changed his tune, declaring that McNeil’s intent “didn’t matter,” and he was so fired and how the $#@! did The New York Times sink to the point where teenagers dictate HR policy?

    How indeed. And if intent no longer matters when a white person uses the “N-word,” will the Times continue to champion the films of Quentin Tarantino?

    More importantly, will the Times continue to allow its staff and editors to retain their actual physical balls, or will the castration become as literal as it is figurative?

    IN DA BOUNCY HOUSE
    Again, let’s stick with a theme: young people. And lest the previous item imply that today’s “yoots” are vile only when moneyed, let’s take a trip to Peoria, Ill., with it’s 21% poverty index and inordinately high crime rate (higher even than Chicago when it comes to property crimes). Peoria is wonderfully, blissfully diverse. With a population that is approximately 30% black, you can always count on Peoria to bring both da funk and da noise.

    And da bounce.

    The owners and operators of Peoria’s Elevate Trampoline Park had a dream…a wonderful dream (papaaaaa) to give the yoots of Peoria some good, wholesome fun. After all, who doesn’t like trampolines, right? Bouncing up and down for hours on end, what could possibly be more enjoyable than that, except maybe anything. So Peoria’s Elevate Trampoline Park was born. And to ensure that the venue attracted as many young people as possible, the owners decided to institute a special night, just for teens (because the children are our future).

    “Black Out Teen Night.” Yes, that was the name. The actual name. As described on the Elevate Trampoline Facebook page when the weekly event was launched (i.e., back before the morons at Elevate realized what they’d done to themselves):

    Saturdays from 8:00pm–11:00pm. Exclusively for teenagers, ages 12–19! Only $20 per person, for all three hours. Don’t forget to wear clothes that “GLOW” under a black light. Elevate socks are included in the price of our Black Out Teen Night pass.

    Elevate even paraphrased Illinois’ greatest resident to attract kids to the “Black Out” night: “Four score and seven years ago…we jumped until we could not anymore.”

    Sadly, Black Out Teen Night quickly turned into Black In Teen Night. Within weeks, the event became the place to be for the city’s diversified young folks. And oddly, in a development that could not have been foreseen by anyone, stuffing hundreds of black kids into a dark room filled with trampolines ended in disaster.

    Last week, Elevate Trampoline Park was trampled in a rumble worthy of The Warriors, or any average day in war-torn Somalia. Dozens of noble multiracial nonwhite youngsters who are our future started beating the living crap out of each other, because of course they did. Video from the fracas shows the little angels tossing trash cans and throwing punches, and generally wrecking the joint, as hoodies and weaves go flying and frightened staffers cower in corners frantically texting their families, “If I don’t make it out alive, find the person who thought Black Out Teen Night was a good idea and murder him. Avenge me! Avenge meeeee!”

    When police cleared the location of brawlers, the fights continued outside the business. Cops told a local TV station that they made no arrests, because George Soros or racial justice or maybe just because at this point why bother? Is it really the fault of the kids? Or is it the fault of the morons who thought they could be counted on to behave?

    The day after the melee, Elevate released a statement explaining that all Black Out Teen Nights would immediately be canceled at all locations. Sources say the ad whiz who came up with the concept is hard at work on his next amazing idea: George Floyd Memorial Trampoline Night.

    “He was killed for bouncing a check, so bounce back in his memory.”

    That should play well in Peoria.

    $#@!RY STAR
    Remember back when we could forgive people their trespasses? Or, more specifically, when we could forgive country & western musicians their occasional slip-ups? Like in 1981 when Johnny Cash killed a bunch of ostriches and then got his ass kicked by a survivor?

    Cash, who at the time was not averse to the occasional drink or line or upper, had built a wild animal park adjoining his Tennessee home. But the winter of ’81 had been especially brutal, and half the animals perished, including a $#@!load of ostriches. Indeed, all of Cash’s female ostriches died in the cold, which apparently left the males somewhat cranky. When Cash was startled by a furious and horny ostrich while walking his grounds (and, one assumes, stepping over the frozen hens), he became enraged, vowing to murder the blueballed bird wot scared him. The fight was, at best, a draw. Cash cracked the angry beast’s leg with a stick, but received five broken ribs and a ruptured stomach in the process.

    Music fans had no problem forgiving the Man in Black for his animal cruelty (although ostriches continue to carry a grudge to this day).

    If there’s a lesson from the Cash clash, it’s “Musicians are oftentimes dicks; live with it.”

    Ah, but in 2021, these are the days of never living with anything. As proven last week when a young country & western star named Morgan Wallen was caught on camera using the “N-word,” apparently when drunkenly, if affectionately, referring to a friend of his.

    Was that a sound decision? For $#@!’s sake, the man has a mullet. If you expect sound decisions from a man with a mullet, more the fool you.

    When the video of his N-word usage went public, Wallen was dropped by his agent and fired by his recording label, and his work, including his most recent album, was banned by CMT and removed from rotation by hundreds of radio stations nationwide.

    One of Wallen’s musical collaborators even pledged to donate all of his profits to the NAACP, a small boutique organization that badly needs the funds.

    Wallen himself has urged his fans to stop listening to his songs, and he’s embarked on a national apology tour in which all black Americans are invited to “ostrich” him Cash-style.

    There’s only one problem…ever since his “cancellation,” Wallen’s album sales have skyrocketed…by 102%. And downloads of his music have increased by 67%. Even his older albums have hit the charts again.

    This might represent a fatal flaw in cancel-culture methodology; cancellation as an inadvertent path to fame and fortune.

    God forbid if other marginally talented washed-up musical failures begin engaging in racist speech to revitalize their careers. What might that bring us? Jimmy Ray’s “Are You KKK?”? Aqua’s “Klaus Barbie Girl?” Tanita Tikaram’s “Eleven Kikes of Loneliness”? Lushus Daim’s “More Than Jew Can Handle”?

    Or maybe it’s just that country-music fans, accustomed as they are to songs of woe by doe-eyed sadsacks, are more forgiving. After all, when every song in the genre can be distilled to “my cheatin’ woman left me as I drank myself catatonic after my daddy died by crashing his beat-up ol’ Chevy truck into the steel mill so now I’m unemployed,” a single like “I done said ****** on TMZ, and now them coons is after me” is a guaranteed hit.

    That’s all for this week. Now go Google Lushus Daim; your day will be much the worse for it.
    Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.

    Robert Heinlein

    Give a man an inch and right away he thinks he's a ruler

    Groucho Marx

    I love mankind…it’s people I can’t stand.

    Linus, from the Peanuts comic

    You cannot have liberty without morality and morality without faith

    Alexis de Torqueville

    Those who fail to learn from the past are condemned to repeat it.
    Those who learn from the past are condemned to watch everybody else repeat it

    A Zero Hedge comment

  16. #134
    https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...-perished-127/

    The Week’s Most Parthenic, Sirenic, and Pyrogenic Headlines
    WHILE MY JAMAR GENTLY WEEPS
    Beverly Hills has become a kind of trophy to BLM thugs. Ever since the terrorist org began its national campaign of violence and intimidation, “activists” have repeatedly targeted the Westside city with acts of vandalism and harassment.
    It’s kind of odd, as Beverly Hills cops haven’t been shooting black people…or any people, for that matter. Also, Beverly Hills isn’t nearly as white as the dimwits of BLM seem to believe (especially if you don’t count Persian Jews as white). And more to the point, Beverly Hills isn’t even in the top ten of wealthiest Southern California enclaves.
    But blacks have a penchant for brand-name merchandise, and the Beverly Hills brand is as internationally recognizable as the Gucci, Tiffany’s, and Dolce & Gabbana stores that line Rodeo Drive. Unconcerned about facts and details, BLM sees Beverly Hills as the big kahuna of “white wealth.”
    So, again and again, BLM takes a BM on BH. Or at least it tries to. The Beverly Hills PD has a zero-tolerance policy for terrorism…which you’d think shouldn’t stand out as unique in a civilized nation. But unlike so many other U.S. cities, Beverly Hills has no patience for criminals and radicals. When BLM and its “allies” block streets, they get arrested. When they invade residential neighborhoods, they get arrested. But again, that’s what all cops should be doing.

    What makes the BHPD truly special is the creative way in which its officers troll the invading scumbags.
    One could call Sennett Devermont an ass boil, but ass boils usually dissolve and go away over time. Devermont is old-school BLM; he’s been leading pickets since 2016. He usually targets BH, never for any particular reason beyond “cuz it’s there.” When Philando Castile was killed by a cop in Minnesota, Devermont picketed Beverly Hills. When Michael Brown was justifiably ventilated by a cop in Missouri, Devermont picketed Beverly Hills. And when Keith Lamont Scott was shot by a cop in North Carolina, Devermont picketed Beverly Hills.

    Dude ain’t too bright; he seems unable to understand maps and geography.
    Devermont has become enough of a nuisance for the officers of the BHPD to get creative in dealing with him. When the human tick engages in his favorite hobby of getting in officers’ faces with his phone while they’re on duty in order to post confrontational videos on social media, the annoyed but wonderfully inventive cops have started playing Beatles songs on their phones…a guaranteed way to get a video kicked off Instagram, because the site’s algorithms automatically catch and remove anything that contains the unauthorized use of copyrighted music (and Beatles songs are legendary when it comes to immediate removal due to unauthorized use).
    The tactic’s been working like a charm!
    BLM is furious at being outmaneuvered (to be fair, when your organization is about ultra-violence not ultra-smarts, being outmaneuvered shouldn’t come as a surprise). News organs like Vice and Yahoo have condemned the cops’ musical mischief.

    Perhaps eventually the higher-ups at BH City Hall will demand that the police quit the trolling. But all good people can take comfort in the fact that an ass boil was lanced and ridiculed by his betters, and in today’s world, small victories like that aren’t really so small.
    SCREWY JEWY
    Rabbi Barry Silver might be the most bat$#@!-insane Jew in the world. Or he might be the world’s greatest performance artist. Rabbi Silver is either the highest of art or the lowest of IQ.

    It’s hard to tell, because it’s hard to imagine that a person like this can exist as anything but farce.
    Rabbi Silver is the founder of something he calls “Cosmic Judaism.” It’s basically Judaism that rejects the Almighty in favor of leftist politics and Bill Nye “science-as-faith” gobbledygook. In a way, most secular American Jews would likely be considered “Cosmic Jews.” They’re just never stupid enough to say so outright, especially with a self-applied label as idiotic as Silver’s.
    The Boynton Beach-based Silver launched his new brand of Judaism last year. As explained in the Sun-Sentinel:

    Silver said Cosmic Judaism began with his late father Samuel Silver, a Reform rabbi. “He believed in God, but not the God of the Bible, and preached and wrote in various books that he authored that every concept of Judaism, including God, should be rational and logical, and that God should be thought of as a hypothesis, not a fact,” he said. This new approach is intended to interpret religion through science and will be launched during the synagogue’s High Holiday services.
    Thus, Cosmic Judaism replaces God with social justice activism and “leftist science” (“the earth is on fire and there are 563 genders”). In place of psalms and hymns, Silver subjects his congregants to his musical odes to AOC talking points, including this one—a “global warming” song set to “We Are the World”…more proof that this guy is either clinically insane or doing meta-comedy.
    After all, nobody likes the original version of that ear-bleeder, let alone an “educational” remake.


    Last week, for reasons only he could possibly comprehend, Silver penned an op-ed in the Sun-Sentinel titled “Many Self-Hating Jews Aid Anti-Semitic Conspiracies.” In it, he claims that Jews helped spur the Capitol riot, in a way that, again, makes you ask, “Can this guy possibly be for real?”
    What’s surprising is that many right wing Jews have exchanged Jewish ideals for deals and have become strange bedfellows with those who took over the Capitol in the name of Jesus.
    Huh? I thought it was in the name of Trump. Oh, wait—Silver accuses Trump of claiming to be Jesus. And for some reason “bad” Jews have aligned with this evil new messiah.
    After blaming Jews for the evils in the world, Silver adds, “Thus, it should come as no surprise that today’s Christian Nationalist QAnon conspiracy theory blames the Jews for all the evils in the world.”

    Wait, but didn’t he himself just blame…

    It’s headache-inducing.
    He likens the Capitol rioters to 9/11’s Muslims, writing “Both groups espouse ‘Replacement Theology’ in which their imaginary father in the sky loves them best.” Wotta rabbi, mocking people’s “imaginary father in the sky.” That’s only slightly nuttier than claiming that 9/11 occurred because of Muslim “replacement theology.”
    He wraps up by declaring that only “rational discourse and debate” can defeat extremists. A mere paragraph after denigrating the Christian and Muslim “imaginary father in the sky,” he invites members of other faiths to join him for “rational discourse.”
    Silver is living proof that people on the left literally get to say anything in the media today. None of that “under a microscope” crap that rightists get from the few mainstream editors who’ll still publish them. But to give the rabid rebbe credit, at least he’s “entertaining insane” instead of “boring insane.”
    I hope his cosmic congregants appreciate that, even as they have to endure his attempts at music that make a night with the Auschwitz orchestra seem like a better entertainment option in comparison.
    ALT RATS
    In an unsurprising development, the young geniuses behind all that naughty talk about “cookie monsters” and “ovens” have once again gotten history wrong. It seems that the impish little satyrs on the groyper/alt-right end of the spectrum were obsessing too much about World War II and not enough about recent U.S. history…because heaven forbid those puckish pups focus on something relevant.
    Anyone remember that whole “militia movement” craze from the ’90s, that nutty OKC bombing/Montana Freemen/Republic of Texas thing that seemed really popular for a while and then kinda vanished? Well, one reason it vanished was the use of informants and undercover operatives by federal law enforcement.

    See, here’s a wee factoid that today’s young groyper kids have likely never learned from the memes that served as their formal political education: The worst thing that happened to the DOJ was the rise in Islamic terror. Filthy brown foreign-tongued Muslims proved a daunting challenge to law enforcement when it came to going undercover and cultivating informants. In 1995, the FBI had 10,000 agents who looked like Tim McVeigh. Sending guys undercover was a cinch. And “turning” militia members was even easier, because the cat and the mouse spoke the same language and shared cultural familiarities. But Muslims? Christ, that was a challenge. Most FBI undercover guys can’t pass for an Akbar, and can’t speak Akbarese. And the problem with recruiting actual Akbars to turn on their brothers is that every now and then they do a double-triple-switcheroo and blow up their handlers, because more than anything Akbars love a good kaboomie.

    Kipling said it best:
    The Stranger within my gates,
    He may be evil or good,
    But I cannot tell what powers control—
    What reasons sway his mood;
    Nor when the Gods of his far-off land
    Shall repossess his blood.
    The post-9/11 “war on terror” had the feds pining for the days of going after rednecks and mafiosi. You know, white guys whose minds and motivations were more easily known.

    Well, thank heavens the far right decided to storm the Capitol! The DOJ couldn’t be happier. Being able to repurpose the war on terror as a war against whiteys has rekindled the FBI’s love of infiltrating and turning. And damned if it isn’t giving the groyper kids premature hair loss.
    “FBI Informant Panic Is Ruining Friendships All Over the Far Right” read the headline of a Daily Beast special report last week. The piece paints a rather devastating portrait of a “movement”—the post-Capitol fringe right—whose members are gripped by fear and anxiety over who’s being squeezed by the feds, who’s going to turn, who’s already turned, and who’s an undercover agent. Proud Boys members, rocked by the revelation that one of their supposedly kick-assiest leaders, Enrique Tarrio, was a fed informant, are now fracturing into dozens of subgroups accusing other subgroups of being led by informants.

    And groyper “leader” Patrick Casey has openly split with groper golden goy Nick Fuentes over concerns that Fuentes, an apparent target of the feds, is setting up other groypers with his end-of-February “America First” conference in Orlando, which Casey refers to as a “federal honeypot event.”
    Casey claims that the FBI has frozen Fuentes’ bank accounts, suggesting that agents are using the money to “persuade” Fuentes to play ball. Those same concerns about feds ’n’ thumbscrews have been voiced regarding arrested groyper stormers “Baked Alaska” and Riley June Williams.
    So now everyone on the far right is playing Tony Soprano wondering if the Big Pussies have turned.
    It’s hard not to feel a little sympathy for these young patriots, who appear completely unprepared for this complete inevitability.
    Don’t blame them; they were lied to by their teachers. The memes never told them it could turn out this way.
    KUNTA KINTE…PLAIN OR WITH ALMONDS
    12 Years a Slave? More like 3 Musketeers a Slave. Apparently, antislavery chocolate is a thing. And why not? In the U.S., slavery—which ended more than 155 years ago—has become for some odd reason the event that defines all current human endeavors.
    Well, to be fair, the reason isn’t odd at all. The New York Times’ 1619 Project—the Manhattan Project of the nation’s black race hustlers and white/Jewish “allies”—has wormed its way into every facet of American life.

    Slavery “made” this country (narrator: It didn’t), and all nonblack Americans owe the descendants of slaves and those who resemble the descendants of slaves a perpetual debt (narrator: They don’t).

    In her barely readable magnum opus, the 1619 Project’s illiterate hunt-and-pecker Nikole Hannah “Bae” Jones made a big deal about how chocolate is racist. In the world of sweets, chocolate is the Grand Wizard of KKKandy. It’s not just that white people shouldn’t “do violence” to a darker food (i.e., bite a bar of chocolate); it’s that whites only know about chocolate because enslaved Africans had to work cocoa farms without a guaranteed minimum wage of $15 an hour and free unisex tampon distribution centers for men who menstruate.
    Those ghastly cocoa-farm conditions persist in West Africa today, so whiteys should feel especially guilty about munching that Mars.
    Fortunately, help has arrived! Tony’s Chocolonely is the world’s premier antislavery chocolate bar! A self-proclaimed social justice, pro-BLM chocolate company, Tony’s has pledged to become the first “100% slave-free” chocolate manufacturer. No slaves harvesting the cocoa beans, and “reparations” for the descendants of the slaves who harvested them back in the old days.
    One key pillar of the Tony’s philosophy is that chocolate prices should be kept artificially high. The Tony’s website literally instructs retailers to inflate the price of the candy, because a 6.35-oz. chocolate bar that requires a down payment is the key to preventing slavery in cocoa-growing nations.
    It’s also the key to pricing chocolate out of the reach of inner-city blacks. Which is certainly kind of ironic (social justice chocolate that excludes blacks).
    So, how could a company with such a good and pure vision possibly fail?
    What could ever go wrong with such a noble business plan?
    Well, the world found the answer to those questions last week, when it was revealed that the Tony’s supply chain includes a company that uses African child slave labor to harvest its cocoa.

    Be honest—were you expecting anything less?
    Apparently, Tony’s was contracting with a slave-using cocoa manufacturer in order to keep its costs down and pocket more of the profits from those inflated prices.

    As social justice orgs drop Tony’s from their list of approved merchants, let’s not be unmindful of the real victims here: the wealthy whites who will now have to find new sources of $40 chocolate bars that make them feel good about themselves, and Nikole Hannah “Bae” Jones, who will have to go back to filling that void in her hateful soul by Oprah-style binge-eating Milky Ways and Krackels.

    THE NOOSE OF THE WORLD
    Remember Bubba Wallace? He’s the black NASCAR driver who got scared silly by a string last year. After mistaking a garage-door pull rope for a “noose,” Wallace cried “hate crime” and the world listened…if by “the world” one means MSNBC and The New York Times. Everyone else just laughed.
    Still, the FBI sent nearly two-dozen agents to put the screws to the string. Indeed, the transcript of the interrogation is intense:

    FBI Agent: “Fess up: Are you a noose?”
    String: “Knot!”
    FBI Agent: “Stop jerking us around. Are you a noose?”
    String: “Knot! Knot! Knot!”

    Sadly, due to post-traumatic stress from the encounter with the rope, the dope blew it last week at Daytona. Wallace came in 17th, prompting The Guardian to complain that racist NASCAR was “not redeemed” (apparently, Wallace is owed a win every time he drives).

    However, the news was not all bad in the never-ending fight against things that are not nooses.

    Rawiri Waititi is the newly elected coleader of New Zealand’s Maori Party. Last week, he clashed with his fellow parliamentarians over a longstanding rule that male members must wear ties while in the hallowed parliamentary chamber.

    A tie? Around the neck? Wait…that must mean it’s a noose!

    Actually, that’s not a joke. That’s Waititi’s actual belief, and he stated as much when he flaunted the rule and showed up for work bare-necked and wearing a traditional Maori pendant called a hei tiki, which bears a strong resemblance to fossilized frog road-kill and probably is.

    Initially, Waititi was escorted out of the chamber for the dress-code violation, but then he gave a long, rambling warble about the white man’s racism and historical oppression and his ancestors being hanged and how the fearsome specter of nooses haunts his people still, and eventually the other members of Parliament were like, “Oh for $#@!’s sake forget the tie if it’ll shut the stupid bastard up.”

    In his victory speech, Waititi told the press, “Maori have had enough of being assimilated and forced to do and look like everyone else. We are not like everyone else. We are unique. Being Maori is like having superpowers.”

    On the other hand, whites also appear to possess a unique superpower—the ability to tell the difference between a noose and something that is absolutely not a noose.
    Should there ever be an all-out Justice League-style war between the two superhero factions, the safe bet will be the side whose members can look at a rope without $#@!ting themselves. Indeed, a few Wonder Woman lassos and the war will be over fairly quickly.
    String…the kryptonite of the nonwhite.
    Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.

    Robert Heinlein

    Give a man an inch and right away he thinks he's a ruler

    Groucho Marx

    I love mankind…it’s people I can’t stand.

    Linus, from the Peanuts comic

    You cannot have liberty without morality and morality without faith

    Alexis de Torqueville

    Those who fail to learn from the past are condemned to repeat it.
    Those who learn from the past are condemned to watch everybody else repeat it

    A Zero Hedge comment

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