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Thread: The Week That Perished

  1. #1

    Exclamation The Week That Perished

    The Week That Perished

    https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...t-perished-26/

    by Takimag

    February 17, 2019

    The Week That Perished

    The Week’s Toniest, Stoniest, and Phoniest Headlines

    TRUMP SIGNS IMMIGRATION BILL, THEN ROLLS IT UP AND STABS SUPPORTERS IN THE BACK WITH IT
    The main promise of Donald Trump’s 2016’s presidential campaign, the gleaming white carnation on his tailored suit—“We’re going to build a wall, and Mexico is going to pay for it”—will never come true. On Friday, Trump made sure of it.

    After a belligerent Friday morning press conference in which the president declared a state of emergency in order to allocate funds to build the wall, on Friday afternoon Trump signed an omnibus bill that ensured the wall would never be built. Not only that, the bill ensures the country will be flooded with more illegal aliens than ever.

    Regarding the wall for which Trump had originally demanded $25 billion before backpedaling down to $5.6 billion, the bill doesn’t even deliver what the Democrats had agreed to, which was a puny $1.6 billion. It only allocates $1.375 billion—enough to build about 55 miles of bollard fencing rather than a concrete wall—and it limits construction strictly to the Rio Grande Valley section of the border. And even within that section, construction is prohibited on federal and state lands. Regarding the rest, it requires local authorities—which in South Texas are uniformly Democratic and largely controlled by Mexican drug cartels—to agree to the wall’s construction, which is like asking black people to agree that slavery benefited them. It will never happen.

    Section 224(a) of the bill prohibits any illegal alien who is sponsoring an “unaccompanied” minor illegal…or who claims they may, you know, one day sponsor one…or who currently lives with an unaccompanied minor illegal…from being deported. This provides a massive incentive for illegal aliens currently bleeding the public coffers to call up minors from south of the border as little baby human shields against deportation.

    The bill Trump signed also allocates a record $3.4 billion for refugee resettlement. It doubles the permissible number of unskilled seasonal workers who can apply for H-2B non-agricultural visas. It reduces the number of border detention beds by 18%. It adds $40 million to a program that moves asylum seekers from the border to the country’s interior, where they are almost always released.

    Goodbye, America.

    BLOGGER SUES TWITTER AFTER BEING BANNED FOR DECLARING THAT MEN ARE NOT WOMEN
    A mere ten years ago, publicly declaring that men aren’t women and that women don’t have penises would have been an affirmation that one was sane. But oh, how time flies when you let the fruit flies run the asylum.

    Meghan Murphy is a Canadian blogger who identifies as a leftist feminist and socialist, but apparently that is no longer sufficient to prevent the Egalitotalitarian Ban-Hammer from crushing your skull these days.

    It took only two tweets for Twitter—whose CEO, Jack Dorsey, recently admitted on a podcast that he doesn’t believe his website needs to “optimize for neutrality” when choosing whom to ban—to deplatform Murphy.

    
The first offending tweet involved a simple question:

    How are transwomen not men? What is the difference between a man and a transwoman?

    According to the diktats of Newspeak, “transwoman” is a term that proclaims, against all chromosomal evidence, that a man who claims he’s a woman is actually a woman. A mere decade ago, these delusional people were known as “transvestites.”

    “Oh, how time flies when you let the fruit flies run the asylum.”
    But the tweet that got Murphy unpersoned on Twitter involved her using the word “him” to describe a man who claims he’s a woman. The man in question was involved in some sort of kerfuffle over “genital waxing at beauty salons.”

    On Monday, Murphy filed a lawsuit against Twitter Inc. in a California court, claiming that she was discriminated against for expressing a belief that the majority of Americans still share—i.e., that one’s gender is determined by one’s genitals at birth. Murphy also showed some solidarity with the Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist (TERF) contingent by expressing that the entire trans delusion may be an impediment to feminism:

    The whole situation destroys women’s rights. I don’t even see how we can uphold women’s rights if there is no cohesive definition for women.

    Feminists are annoying and delusional as it is, but they can’t compete with trannies in either category. As much as it pains us to say it, we’ll side with the feminists on this one.

    In similarly depressing and soul-laceratingly ironic news from the UK, a university student has been banned from a “free speech” debate for intrepidly declaring that “women don’t have penises.”

    MAJORITY OF CALIFORNIA RESIDENTS WANT TO LEAVE THEIR HIGHLY DIVERSE STATE
    At some point in the 1940s or 1950s, California must have been a wonderful place to live. But whereas its population was under 10 million at the end of World War II, the Golden State is now crammed with 40 million people, and that’s assuming they’re counting illegals, which is doubtful. The state’s quotient of whites is now only half of what it was in 1970; Hispanics now outnumber Caucasians by more than 50%. It is currently the nation’s most ethnically diverse state, and how you feel about that says a lot about you.

    Despite the fact that it postures as a socially egalitarian paradise, California is saddled with the nation’s fifth-highest rate of wealth inequality. It’s basically a handful of billionaires and their Mexican servants.

    A new poll conducted in January by Edelman Intelligence has found that 53% of the state’s residents are considering leaving California due to high taxes and the exorbitant cost of living. The poll also found that 62% of respondents said that California’s best days are over.

    Of course California’s best days are over. First we were agreeing with feminists, and now we’re agreeing with Californians. Somebody please call a doctor.

    RUSSIAN OFFICIALS PONDER THE JAPANESE MODEL FOR REDUCING OBESITY
    In 2008 the dying nation of Japan enacted a law designed to curb obesity among adults over 40, colloquially known as the “Metabo-law,” which would subject people to weight counseling and ultimate “reeducation” if their waistlines measured above a certain level—“33.5 inches for men and 35.4 inches for women.”

    Now Russian authorities, in their quest to make their entire noble nation as fit and sexy as President Vladimir Putin, are studying the Japanese model. Anna Popova, Chief State Sanitary Officer of the Russian Federation, expounds on the Metabo-law:

    If during the annual inspection a citizen is found with a waist size exceeding the norm, the government imposes restrictions according to which he is obliged to attend regular counseling sessions. Fines for companies that do not care about the health of workers, can reach $19 million.

    Popova says that the Russian Federation has also scrutinized a New Zealand law that requires potential immigrants to present certification that they have a body mass index of 35 or lower.

    We’re not big on laws, but we admire any effort to make the world less fat. Nearly four out of ten adults globally are overweight. This worldwide epidemic of unbridled gluttony must stand no more!

    MULATTO PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE CAUGHT FIBBING ABOUT HIP-HOP
    Although very few people are aware of it, a black pro wrestler who masqueraded as a war paint-wearing Ugandan headhunter named Kamala was born as James Harris. So he was the original “Kamala” Harris.

    The new pretender to the Kamala Harris throne is a California Senator who’s the daughter of a black Jamaican man and an Indian woman who seeks to become our nation’s second mulatto president. Her light skin, verbal erudition, and the fact that she married a white man have many people questioning her “blackness.”

    On a radio show last Monday, Harris sought to firmly establish her blackness by claiming that in college, she smoked weed while listening to the music of convicted rapist Tupac Shakur and suspected murderer Snoop Dogg.

    Harris graduated from Howard University in 1986 and from law school in 1989.

    Tupac Shakur’s first album came out in 1991; Snoop Dogg’s debut was in 1993.

    Her blackness remains in question. We’ll stick with Kamala the wrestler.



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  3. #2
    The Week That Perished

    https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...t-perished-27/

    by Takimag

    February 24, 2019

    The Week That Perished
    photo credit: YouTube
    Nick Sandmann

    The Week’s Most Surly, Squirrely, and Girly Headlines

    COVINGTON KID SUES WASHINGTON POST FOR $250 MILLION
    Until it was buried under the avalanche of publicity surrounding the fabulist gay black/Jewish actor Jessie Smollett, the Covington Kids story was the most publicized hate-crime hoax so far this year. The major media jumped on a false narrative about Trump-supporting high-school kids bullying a Native American man until the true story was revealed—namely, that some Black Hebrew Israelites and the Native American man were bullying the kids.

    Now comes news that Nicholas Sandmann—into whose face the dishonest Injun Nathan Phillips banged a drum—is suing the Washington Post for $250 million—the exact sum that Jeff Bezos paid to purchase the paper.

    The defamation lawsuit, which was filed in Kentucky last Tuesday, refers to Nathan Phillips as a “phony war hero” who was “too intimidated” by the Black Hebrew Israelites—who’d been lobbing slurs at the Native American group as well as calling the Covington Boys “future school shooters,” “incest babies,” and “dirty ass crackers”—so he targeted the boys instead:

    Rather than focusing their attention on the Hebrew Israelites, who had been relentlessly insulting both the teenagers for almost an hour and the Native Americans attending the Indigenous Peoples March before that, Phillips and his activist companions approached the CovCath students from a distance while beating drums, singing, dancing, and carrying cameras to capture the confrontation on video….Apparently, Phillips, a phony war hero, was too intimidated by the unruly Hebrew Israelites to approach them, the true troublemakers, and instead chose to focus on a group of innocent children – a much safer endeavor for activist tactics of intimidation.

    The suit goes into extensive detail chronicling exactly what happened, proving that the only people who weren’t aggressors in the debacle were the white Catholic teens that the media smeared. It alleges that the Post published seven “false and defamatory” articles about Sandmann from January 19 to 21 knowing that they were false.

    It is our fondest wish that Nick Sandmann does to the Washington Post what Hulk Hogan did to Gawker.

    STUDY: AMERICANS DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT AMERICA
    A recent survey published by the Woodrow Wilson Foundation confirms that American voters may fall below the global average when it comes to being uninformed.

    When administered, a “multiple-choice version of the test given to immigrants seeking citizenship,” only 38% of naturalized American citizens passed the exam. Under age 45, only 27% passed.

    What’s worse, the only state where a majority of the citizens was the snow-white state of Vermont—and even then, they only squeaked by with 53%.

    Other depressing findings from the study:

    • A mere 15% of Americans knew what year the Constitution was written.

    • A quarter of Americans were unaware that the First Amendment guarantees free speech.

    • Fifty-seven percent of Americans did not know that Woodrow Wilson was president during World War I.

    “The best argument against democracy,” Winston Churchill famously quipped, “is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” And this study confirms it.

    LESBIAN TENNIS HERO SHUNNED FOR SAYING MEN AREN’T WOMEN
    Martina Navratilova is the pelican-faced lesbian whom many consider to be the greatest female tennis player of all time. She has openly declared her lesbianity and has actively agitated for all manner of lesbianic causes.

    Still, it’s not enough these days.

    “It is our fondest wish that Nick Sandmann does to the Washington Post what Hulk Hogan did to Gawker.”
    An LGBT—which stands for “lettuce, garlic, bacon, and tomatoes”—group called Athlete Ally has removed the tennis great from their advisory board after she made some comments alleging that it’s unfair to female athletes to have male-to-female trannies competing against them:

    Martina Navratilova’s recent comments on trans athletes are transphobic, based on a false understanding of science and data, and perpetuate dangerous myths that lead to the ongoing targeting of trans people through discriminatory laws, hateful stereotypes and disproportionate violence.

    Here is a sampling of the hateful and totally unacceptable comments in question:

    You can’t just proclaim yourself a female and be able to compete against women….There must be some standards, and having a penis and competing as a woman would not fit that standard….The rules on trans athletes reward cheats and punish the innocent….Letting men compete as women simply if they change their name and take hormones is unfair — no matter how those athletes may throw their weight around….It’s insane and it’s cheating.

    The only positive to come out of this involves speculating which identity-based group of freaks will start calling trannies hateful and out of touch. Pedophiles? Practitioners of bestiality? Otherkin? We can hardly wait.

    HATE-CRIME HOAXER JUSSIE SMOLLETT ARRESTED
    After weeks of unbridled public outrage from politicians, celebs, and media morons about the idea that a gay black actor was accosted in subzero temperatures by two rednecks who punched him, threw bleach on him, wrapped a noose around his neck, called him the “F” word and the “N” word, and then yelled “This is MAGA country!,” Chicago police finally arrested Jussie Smollett last week and charged him with felony disorderly conduct for filing a false police report.

    If convicted, Smollett, who pled no contest to providing false information to police back in 2007, could face up to three years in prison.

    The day after his arrest, Fox TV announced that they were dropping Smollett from the last two episodes of their hit show Empire.

    And last Tuesday, a conservative student at UC Berkeley was punched in the face and threatened with being shot for daring to suggest that hate-crime hoaxes happen.

    GIRL CHEATS ON BOYFRIEND, FEELS GUILTY, ACCUSES GUY SHE CHEATED WITH OF RAPE, HAS HIM BEATEN
    As everyone is well aware, the idea that women falsely accuse men of rape is a discredited trope that only serves to fuel misogynist hatred in a culture that encourages rape at every turn.

    
That’s why it is with great skepticism that we approach a story in the Daily Mail which claims that a 24-year-old university student in China, stricken with guilt for cheating on her boyfriend, accused the man she cheated with of raping her and persuaded her boyfriend to throw chili pepper in his eyes, smash a jar over his head, and kick him in the testicles repeatedly. We also don’t believe that the girl demanded the boy she slept with to write an apology not only to her boyfriend, but to his girlfriend. Neither do we buy the idea that she tried to extort her one-time lover to the tune of $5,000 “in exchange for his future.”

    Anyone who’s spent any time around women knows that women would never do that. And if you say that we’re lying, we have no other choice but to falsely accuse you of rape.

    FRANCE SEEKS TO CRIMINALIZE ANTI-ZIONISM
    French President Emmanuel Macron has made it quite clear that he opposes all forms of nationalism, calling it a “betrayal of patriotism.”

    This is why we find it highly confusing that he is in favor of a new resolution being discussed in the French Parliament that would criminalize anti-Zionism by conflating it with anti-Semitism.

    According to Dr. Moshe Kantor, president of the European Jewish Congress, criticizing Zionism is what cowards do when they really want to express all the irrational hatred they harbor toward innocent Jews:

    [I] absolutely welcome this discussion and hope to see it leads to concrete action because it is clear that the overwhelming majority of those who claim to be anti-Zionist use it merely as a cover for their antisemitism…anti-Zionists never claim that any other nation on earth, apart from the Jewish state, should be dismantled or is illegitimate so it is clear that this meets any standard of delegitimization, demonization and double-standards.

    That’s funny—the only double standard we see is the fact that Israel is an ethnostate with a border wall, and we can’t think of a single other nation of Earth that can claim that. Strike it up to our unconscious anti-Semitism.

  4. #3
    The Week That Perished

    https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...t-perished-28/

    by Takimag

    March 03, 2019

    The Week That Perished

    The Week’s Sleepiest, Weepiest, and Creepiest Headlines

    TAKE AMERICA’S HATS AGAIN
    In a national epidemic of “soft lynching” that seems designed to degrade and humiliate, people wearing “Make America Great Again” hats are being attacked by illiterate cretins who’s minuscule brains have been programmed to believe that Donald Trump is a bigger threat to national security than Kim Kardashian, Facebook, and herpes. This trend is being referred to as “hat crimes.”

    This week brings three stories of three white Americans being assaulted by three nonwhites—one of whom has overstayed her visa since frickin’ 1994—whose primitive reptile brains were triggered at the site of the red “MAGA” cap like a retarded bull is driven into a meaningless rage by a matador’s cape.

    Forty-one-year-old Rosiane Santos of Falmouth, MA, has been arrested and charged with assault, battery, and disorderly conducted after yanking a MAGA hat off the Caucasian cabeza of a 23-year-old Trumper named Bryton Turner. According to the alleged victim, he grew so annoyed at the heckling of Santos—who apparently drinks on the job—that he began recording her as she taunted him for daring to be such an antisocial psychoapth that he wore a hat honoring the nation’s president.

    According to a police report, when cops arrived, Santos explained that a MAGA hat has no place in a Mexican restaurant. As they carried her off to jail, she again tried to remove the hat from Turner’s head.

    When contacted by a reporter, Santos offered the following apologia:

    I had a little bit to drink maybe that’s the reason that I couldn’t walk away but being discriminated for so many times in my life, I just had to stand up for myself. He’s not a victim. I am the victim. I have been bullied, OK?

    Santos has reportedly been taken into custody by ICE officials and will likely be sent back to Brazil.

    In the breathtakingly scenic state of New Jersey, a 19-year-old black teen has been arrested for allegedly attacking an 81-year-old MAGA-hat-wearing man in a grocery store. According to the victim, the youth verbally taunted him as he attempted to leave the store. Then he grabbed his hat, seized his arm, tossed him to the ground, and knocked over his cart of groceries.

    Video footage from Oklahoma shows a white student who’s wearing a MAGA hat and toting a Trump flag being taunted by an 18-year-old black male who knocks the hat off his head, grabs his flag, and, ironically, calls him “niggger.”

    If you haven’t heard any of these stories in the mainstream press, it’s no coincidence.

    TEACHING BLACK KIDS TO PICK COTTON
    It was only a few weeks ago that Virginia Governor Ralph Northam faced the soul-scalding experience of being called a “racist” due to some yearbook photos that either depict him in a Klansman’s outfit or in blackface—it’s hard to tell, because there were two people in the picture. Northam denied that either one was him, although he admitted he once dressed up in blackface to portray Michael Jackson in a dance contest.

    Northam held onto his job by pledging to devote the remaining three years of his term to groveling before blacks and fellating the very idea of blackness.

    Then his wife goes and mucks up the program by asking some black students to hold cotton bolls and imagine what it was like to be slaves.

    Apparently Virginia First Lady Pam Northam is involved in some tour where she takes students to some vintage cottage and tells them to hold samples of cotton and tobacco so they can imagine how much it must have sucked to be a slave. Her error here was to hold out the cotton for some black students to touch—in the year 2019, for Pete’s sake!

    According to a black woman named Leah Dozier Walker, who actually has a job in something called the Office of Equity and Community Engagement at the State Department of Education, Mrs. Northam effectively whipped and raped the students:

    The Governor and Mrs. Northam have asked the residents of the Commonwealth to forgive them for their racially insensitive past.…But the actions of Mrs. Northam, just last week, do not lead me to believe that this Governor’s office has taken seriously the harm and hurt they have caused African Americans in Virginia or that they are deserving of our forgiveness.

    Del. Marcia Price, a black woman who’s a member of the state’s black caucus—sensing a pattern here?—scolded and shamed and remonstrated Mrs. Northam:

    The cotton itself is a symbol of murder, rape, displacement and the radiating effects of the trans-Atlantic slave trade that black Virginians are still experiencing today….I don’t know that you have to have actual cotton handed to the children to understand slavery was bad.

    In South Carolina, a black mother is distraught and upset and triggered and traumatized by the fact that her 10-year-old son was told to pick cotton and sing a “slave song” as part of a school project about…the Great Depression.

    Don’t ask us to make sense of this. We’d rather stick knitting needles in our eyeballs.

    HATE-CRIME HOAXES DU JOUR
    Nikki Joly is an aggressively ugly, short and dumpy woman who claims she’s a man, possibly because by all known metrics, she fails as a woman. A local paper in her hometown of Jackson, MI named her “Citizen of the Year” after her efforts to open a gay community center, organize a gay festival, and pass an ordinance that forbids anti-gay discrimination.

    Joly’s house burned down in 2017, killing the three cats and two German Shepherds that were inside. After the fire, she posted on Facebook, “Yes, be angry, be very angry. Use that anger to force good! Use that anger to make change.”

    Now she has been arrested and charged with setting the blaze, allegedly because “he [sic] had been frustrated the controversy over gay rights had died down with the passage of the nondiscrimination law.” You heard that correctly—according to rumor, Joly killed all five of her pets because she was frustrated that the town wasn’t supplying her with an adequate dosage of hatred.

    A black woman named Darnell Byrd-McPherson is the mayor of the itty-bitty, teeny-weenie town of Lamar, SC. Last month she claimed to be the victim of a savage hate crime when it appeared that someone had sprayed a yellow substance on her car. In the wake of this heinous incident, she told a TV reporter:

    We are grateful the person or persons did not try to take our lives but the culprits will be identified and prosecuted….Love conquers hate and my husband and I refuse to be intimidated by those who perpetrated this act of vandalism which I classify as an act of hatred.

    Unfortunately for Mizz Mayor, investigators discovered that the mysterious yellow substance was merely pollen.

    What kind of country to we live in where even pollen hates black people?

    MALE STUDENT TOO DRUNK TO CONSENT TO SEX
    After more than four years of having his name dragged through the mud on bogus rape allegations, a former student at Miami University of Ohio—which is the Ruth’s Chris Steak House of colleges—has been vindicated. Identified in court documents only as John Doe, he was suspended after a female acquaintance accused him of sexually assaulting her despite the fact that the school acknowledged that the girl had initiated contact and John Doe was too inebriated to consent. John Doe sued after his suspension, and a judge ruled that the school had been unfair in its kangaroo-court treatment of him. Doe and the school have agreed to a private settlement for an undisclosed sum, which should at least keep him awash in beer and hookers until he settles down with a gal who isn’t prone to false rape allegations.

    FROM TRANSGENDER TO TRANSALIEN
    Jareth Nebula—without even researching, we are convinced beyond the pubic-hair-sized wisp of a doubt that her parents didn’t name her that—is a female-to-male transsexual who describes herself on Facebook as “Trans/Agender, Demisexual/Graysexual, Blue Alien, MisfitGoth, Body Mods, Disabled, J-Fashion, Potato.”

    If that isn’t enough to make you want to kick her in her nonexistent nuts, Nebula now claims she has grown tired of being transgender and wants to transcend it by becoming a “transalien” and wants to have her nipples surgically removed so she feels less human:

    I know I’m stuck in a human form and that’s how I’m perceived by others – but to me, I’m an alien with no gender….After coming out as transgender and believing I had finally found myself, I realized I was wrong – I wasn’t male or female, or even human….I don’t think or feel like humans. I can’t really explain it to others – I’m simply otherworldly….I didn’t feel comfortable as either gender or even anything in between….I know I’m stuck in a human form and that’s how I’m perceived by others – but to me, I’m an alien with no gender.

    Nah, you’re just a severely messed-up chick.

  5. #4
    Easy way to tell what the truth is. Watch the news, and believe the exact opposite of what they tell you.
    1776 > 1984

    The FAILURE of the United States Government to operate and maintain an
    Honest Money System , which frees the ordinary man from the clutches of the money manipulators, is the single largest contributing factor to the World's current Economic Crisis.

    The Elimination of Privacy is the Architecture of Genocide

    Belief, Money, and Violence are the three ways all people are controlled

    Quote Originally Posted by Zippyjuan View Post
    Our central bank is not privately owned.

  6. #5
    These belong in one of AF's threads:

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    Quote Originally Posted by juleswin View Post
    I am not a rapist but there are some people I would never consider to rape if I was a rapist. I wouldn't rape someone who I wasn't attracted to, someone who could probably take me down and pound the hell out of me etc etc.



    Quiz: Test Your "Income" Tax IQ!


    Short Income Tax Video

    The Income Tax Is An Excise, And Excise Taxes Are Privilege Taxes

    The Federalist Papers, No. 15:

    Except as to the rule of appointment, the United States have an indefinite discretion to make requisitions for men and money; but they have no authority to raise either by regulations extending to the individual citizens of America.

  7. #6
    The Week That Perished

    https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...t-perished-29/

    by Takimag

    March 10, 2019

    The Week’s Most Divided, Misguided, and Lopsided Headlines

    BIDEN’S PAST BITES HIM IN THE ASS

    Joe Biden is an unnecessary politician from an unnecessary place named Delaware—a grim, postage-stamp-sized patch of land which became the nation’s first state and then gave up. Through extensive and often gory plastic surgery, as well as a hardline regimen of teeth-whitening that borders on the carcinogenic, he often manages to convince people he is less than 900 years old.

    Polls show that, as a white man among a ragtag gaggle of one-eyed communist Muslim lesbian competitors, Biden has the best shot at winning 2020’s Democratic nomination for president.

    But there’s one problem besides his personality: He wasn’t always as fond of Negroes as he now pretends to be. Yes, we realize he was Barack Obama’s deferential Chattanooga Shoe Shine Boy and that he once marveled that, for a black man, Obama was amazingly “clean” and “articulate,” but no amount of groveling these days can atone for once, a long, long time ago, saying things that imply that black folks are anything less than gods among humans.

    Comments have recently emerged from a 1975 interview Biden gave to some local Delaware publication that nobody has ever heard about—not even in Delaware. In a political climate where one may be forgiven for raping children but never for saying bad things about The Blacks, these comments threaten to cast a Grim Reaper-sized shadow over Biden’s looming candidacy:

    I do not buy the concept, popular in the ’60s, which said, “We have suppressed the black man for 300 years and the white man is now far ahead in the race for everything our society offers. In order to even the score, we must now give the black man a head start, or even hold the white man back, to even the race.” I don’t buy that…. I don’t feel responsible for the sins of my father and grandfather. I feel responsible for what the situation is today, for the sins of my own generation. And I’ll be damned if I feel responsible to pay for what happened 300 years ago….

    We’ve lost our bearings since the 1954 Brown vs. School Board desegregation case. To “desegregate” is different than to “integrate.”… I am philosophically opposed to quota systems. They insure mediocrity….

    It is one thing to say that you cannot keep a black man from using this bathroom, and something quite different to say that one out of every five people who use this bathroom must be black.

    I oppose busing. It’s an asinine concept, the utility of which has never been proven to me.


    Biden’s handlers are scurrying to reassure us that when he was young—which would have been sometime around the Civil War—Biden fought to desegregate a movie theater and thus force whites to miss all the dialogue because blacks like to scream at the movie screen. They also tell us that he was once the only white employee at a black swimming pool, which surprised us because we were unaware that black people are able to swim.

    However, we are glad that these 1975 comments have been made widely available to the public. We had no idea that Joe Biden was so cool, and we plan to vote for him in 2020.

    WALKING WHITE MEN ON LEASHES

    It comes as no surprise to anyone with two brain cells to rub together like a cricket rubs its legs that the main reason Donald Trump and all his supporters are inhuman is because they see others as inhuman. You don’t even have to be “woke” to realize that. Basically, you simply don’t have to be in a coma to realize that it’s wrong to dehumanize others, which is why Trump and his supporters all need to be dehumanized—constantly.

    “Indecline” is a group of righteous freaks who are so firmly on the right side of history that they are in danger of falling off the planet. They gained some notoriety for installing naked statues of Donald Trump all across the country as if they weren’t secretly jealous that he gets more tail in one week than all of them do in a lifetime combined.

    Their most recent project, which was unveiled to a gasping public of junkies and tourists last Sunday, was called “Hate Breed,” and it involved placing dog collars on 20 white men dressed in white T-shirts and MAGA hats, then walking them with leashes on all fours to visit Donald Trump’s star on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame. Each self-loathing white beta who volunteered to be part of this conceptual abortion also wore a dog tag bearing the name of someone the group considers to be racist—Ann Coulter, Steve Bannon, David Duke, and Richard Spencer all received personal dog tags.

    A press release from Indecline attempts to make sense of this live-action chemical spill:

    The project, entitled “Hate Breed”, speaks to race relations in America, specifically the patience exhibited by those most affected by racism and bigotry and their willingness, despite having the greatest right to anger, to walk their attackers down a path to empathy….

    Even though those afflicted by hate have the greatest right to anger, often it is only through their kindness or sacrifice that we are able to walk down ignorance until it’s worn out enough to debate in earnest.


    Protip: If you’re seeking empathy and earnest debate, don’t treat people like dogs.

    NAZI PARTIES AROUND THE WORLD

    All over the world, it seems like people wanna party like it’s 1939.

    A furor of righteous outrage has spread like wildfire throughout the Southern California town of Newport Beach, inflaming the loins of decent locals who can’t wrap their innocent brains around why a group of kids suspected to be either current students or recent graduates of a local high school would dare to arrange red plastic cups to form a swastika at a recent weekend party.

    Thankfully, officials at the Newport-Mesa Unified School District polished their good-guy badges and sent a letter to reassure local parents that they were not in any way, shape, or form, cool with forming swastikas out of red plastic drinking cups:

    We were recently made aware of social media postings involving some students who created inappropriate anti-semitic [sic] symbols, and possible underage drinking. While these actions did not occur on any school campus or school function, we condemn all acts of anti-semitism [sic] and hate in all their forms.

    Notice how they’re far less concerned with the “possible underage drinking” than they are with the swastika? Underage drinking kills over 4,300 American youths yearly. When was the last time a swastika killed anyone?

    …yeah, OK, but that was a long time ago and as the saying goes, swastikas don’t kill people, but people wearing swastikas sometimes killed people.

    In Washington, DC, students at the super-posh Sidwell Friends School—a Quaker joint where the yearly tuition is $42,000 and where Barack Obama sent both of his daughters—recently caused an anti-Hebraic kerfuffle when they disrupted a public presentation by flashing usernames that included swastikas onto a large projection screen, causing heartache and heartburn throughout the school and several local communities.

    Once more, the school’s headmaster sent out a letter to the parents, reassuring them yet again that he was not “down” with Hitler:

    I am disappointed, dismayed, and deeply sorry that such an incident could take place at our School. Racism and anti-Semitism will not be tolerated in this community.

    
What really sucks is that this is 2019 and people still need to say these things. What sucks even worse is that they seem to feel like they need to say these things every five minutes.

    In Belgium, as reported by a journalist named Cnaan Liphshiz, the president of the Belgian League Against Anti-Semitism, Joel Rubinfeld, is kvetching about an anti-Semitic parade float that his fellow tribesperson Mr. Liphzhiz described thusly:

    The display features two giant puppets with streimels, hats favored by some Orthodox Jews, in pink suits. They both have sidelocks. One of the puppets is grinning while smoking a cigar and extending a hand, presumably to collect money. That puppet has a white rat on his right shoulder. Both puppets are standing on gold coins and have money bags at their feet.

    All along the parade route, the puppets danced to a song about “bulging coffers” that had “Jews getting extra fat.”

    “Prices are rising, so who do they blame?” Rubinfeld asked and then answered before giving anyone else a chance: “The fat, greedy Jew.”

    Further outrage was engendered when Belgian carnival enthusiasts on Faebook described Jews as “dick cutters” and “whiners with sausages for ears and woolly curls on their heads.”

    OK, now we’re offended.

    PUTTING SAUDI ARABIA FIRST

    As the desert kingdom of Saudi Arabia stretches, yawns, and wipes the sand from its eyes to face the modern world, a new wave of nationalism threatens to supplant the old wave of theocratic religious psychosis.

    Although the Saudis are making sensible moves such as curtailing the power of the nation’s religious police, they are also doing absolutely insane things such as allowing women to drive.

    Whereas “infidel” used to be the social-shaming epithet of choice, it is being replaced by “traitor.” And ordinary, poor-as-dirt Saudi citizens are being urged to go on witch hunts against anyone perceived as less than 108.9% loyal to their homeland:

    Accusations of betrayal are lobbed online, printed on threatening notes and trumpeted in red letters on newspaper front pages. Anyone perceived as showing the kingdom in a bad light can be targeted, even comedians poking fun at its idiosyncrasies.

    Most people, sadly, can’t seem to breathe without feeling entitled to abuse others, whether in God’s name or that of the almighty state. Under such circumstances, being an impenitent sociopath is clearly the only moral choice.

    BILLIONAIRE DIAMOND TRADER DIES DURING PENIS ENLARGEMENT

    If it isn’t emasculating enough to require penis-enlargement surgery, how much more horrific is it to die during the surgery, only to be carted off to heaven by guardian angels who are laughing at you?

    Thus was the fate of bloodthirsty diamond merchant Ehud Arye Laniado, who suffered a fatal heart attack after having his penis injected with an unidentified substance during a doomed quest to have his diminutive schvanz match his bank account in size.

    It was a mere four years ago that Laniado sold the world’s most expensive diamond to a Chinese businessman whose last name, ominously, was “Hung.”

  8. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by DamianTV View Post
    Easy way to tell what the truth is. Watch the news, and believe the exact opposite of what they tell you.
    Thats pretty much what I always do.
    "Perhaps one of the most important accomplishments of my administration is minding my own business."

    Calvin Coolidge

  9. #8
    The Week That Perished

    https://www.takimag.com/article/%e2%...that-perished/

    by Takimag

    March 17, 2019

    The Week’s Most Bathetic, Emetic, and Splenetic Headlines

    AS YOUNG AMERICANS EMBRACE SOCIALISM, BERNIE SANDERS WALKS INTO A GLASS SHOWER DOOR, REQUIRING STITCHES

    An exclusive Harris poll reveals that Generation Z—a cohort that comprises a quarter of the American population and consists of people who were born in the mid-1990s or afterward and have never known a world without the Internet and are effectively mental retards with a maximum attention span of three seconds—prefers socialism to capitalism, although they’d probably be incapable of defining either term without using at least one “LOL” and three emojis.

    The poll also found that the top three voting issues for these wet-behind-the-ears whippersnappers are “mass shootings, racial equality, and immigration policy and treatment of immigrants,” which suggest that Gen Z is as easily brainwashed by popular media as any prior generation, with the stark difference being that this is the first generation in history that seems to think that committing suicide is a virtue.

    While historically illiterate young voters were busy embracing the sort of socialism you can put on a T-shirt, 77-year-old sclerotic nebbish
    Bernie Sanders, who never even had a job until he was 40 and thus has no idea what it’s like to be a member of the working class, walked head-on into the side of a glass shower door, busting his wrinkled head and requiring seven stitches. His campaign rushed to assure everyone that Mr. Sanders, who seems ready to burst an artery from a rage-induced stroke at any moment, did not actually fall—he simply walked head-on into a shower door, as if that makes it any better.

    JEWS IN THE NEWS

    It was not a good week for Jews—even though if it had been a good week, they tend to kvetch so much, you couldn’t tell the difference, anyway. What’s the sense of being happy if you’re always going to complain?

    White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, who to our knowledge is suspiciously non-Jewish, dodged questions at a White House press conference last Monday as to whether Donald Trump actually said “Democrats hate Jewish people” during an RNC fundraiser at his Mar-a-Lago resort. Sanders made clear, however, that she and Donald Trump absolutely adore Jews—far more than the Democrats, who have had multiple opportunities to disavow, condemn, shun, ostracize, and torture members of their party who don’t make huge public displays of Jew-lovin’ like the Republicans do.

    In New York City—lotta Jews there—the NYPD’s hate-crimes unit is investigating the horrifying defacement of a Brooklyn subway-stop poster of octogenarian Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. The word “DIE” was written on her forehead, “JEW” was scribbled across her glasses, and a swastika was drawn over her mouth.

    As luck would have it, Ginsburg is Jewish.

    “There is no room for hate in NYC,” the NYPD tweeted.

    Are we talking about New York City? There’s more hate there in a square mile than there is in all the land south of the Potomac.

    Polish Jews are shvitzing over the fact that a newspaper called Only Poland has an article on its front page called “How to Recognize a Jew.” Individual Jew-markers include “Names, anthropological features, expressions, appearances, character traits, methods of operation, ” and “disinformation activities.” The paper also asks, quite ominously, “How to defeat them? This cannot go on!”

    Leszek Bubl, the paper’s publisher, is described as “a fringe nationalist political candidate and sometime musician who has sung about ‘rabid’ rabbis.”

    And finally, the Southern Poverty Law Center, the nation’s premier Stalinist witch-hunting organization, has fired co-founder Morris Dees for undisclosed reasons, but if we had to guess, he probably made a fart joke in front of a female employee. Either that, or they finally realized he’s not Jewish.

    RACIAL HEALING WORKSHOP OFFERED FOR WOUNDED MINORITIES

    Are you a poor-and-oppressed minority living in Southern California who for some reason is depressed that you aren’t living in Zimbabwe?

    Fret no more, sweet dusky ally—San Diego State University is offering a “Racial Healing Workshop,” a safe space free of white people that is designed to make Dark Students feel a tiny bit better at the fact that their low SATs and low grades in no way mean that they are inferior students.

    The workshop will be hosted by Dr. Cheryl E. Matias, who describes herself as an “Assistant Professor & Motherscholar, Ph.D. in Race and Gender Studies in Education, Studies in the Emotionality and Psychoanalytics of Whiteness,” and we swear that she doesn’t sound like a complete idiot.

    IS THIS BLACK TRANNY PEPPER-SPRAY HATE CRIME LEGIT?

    With all of the hoopla and hullabaloo over the recent Jussie Smollett hate-crime hoax, we have cautioned our readers to approach every lurid and overhyped story of Hate Gone Wild as “false until proven true.”

    Thankfully, the following story, although lurid, was not hyped at all, so we will assume it’s true.

    Last Friday and Saturday in Upper Manhattan and the Bronx, a total of 11 white New Yorkers were approached by a black man who thinks he’s a woman and then pepper-sprayed in the face. The delusional dude allegedly approached a white couple in the Bronx and reportedly said something about how much he hates white people.

    According to a police report of the incident:

    They were approached by the defendant who kicked both victims and sprayed a substance in their face….The defendant approached a 30-year-old male and a 24-year-old female, asked them if they were white and displayed a sharp object causing fear. The female victim was sprayed in the face with an unknown substance causing redness, burning and discomfort.

    News reports are referring to the suspect, 37-year-old Thomas Heard, as a “transgender woman,” which is a polysyllabic way of saying “man.” Mr. Heard, who calls himself “Tasha” when he’s feeling feminine, has been charged with assault and menacing as a hate crime.

    THE “HIV HAIRDRESSER” AND HIS REIGN OF REVENGE INFECTIONS

    Darryl Rowe is a Scotsman who was jailed for life in 2018 after it emerged that the HIV-positive homosexual went on a deliberate campaign to infect other men after learning of his positive status. He is now the antihero of a new BBC documentary called The Man Who Used HIV As a Weapon.

    Over eighteen months of random hookups via the gay dating app Grindr, Rowe interacted with hundreds of men; he is confirmed to have infected at least five of them with HIV. His MO was the same: Either he’d insist on having unprotected sex or he’d snip a hole in a condom and deliberately shoot his toxic seed up the rectums of unsuspecting partners. Then he’d wait at least a few days—long enough to render any retroviral cocktails worthless—before taunting his prey via text message that he’d infected them. Some of his sample texts include:

    Maybe you have the fever. I came inside you and I have HIV LOL. Oops!

    You have HIV. Lol.

    You can’t get rid of me. You’re gonna burn. I ripped the condom. You’re stupid. I got you.

    You’re a $#@!ing revolting jackass. Ha Ha Ha Ha. I’d taken the condom off.

    I hope you enjoyed four of my loads. I have HIV.

    Charming!

    While handing down his life sentence, Judge Christine Henson accused Rowe of conducting a “determined hateful campaign of sly violence”:

    You are the first individual to be sentenced for Section 18 offences in the context of infecting others with HIV. With the full knowledge of the risk you posed to others and the legal implications of engaging in risky sexual practices, you embarked on a deliberate campaign to infect other men with the HIV virus….Unfortunately for five of the men you met your campaign was successful.

    To this day, despite the keening sadism of his text messages, Rowe denies knowing that he was HIV-positive, claiming that he was certain that he had been cured by drinking his own urine.

    OLD FAT POTHEAD LESBIANS WARM HEARTS

    We don’t hate all lesbians, only the ones who hate everyone who isn’t a lesbian—which, when you think about it, is nearly all of them.

    However, we found enough room in our shriveled little hearts to generate three or four calories worth of warmth for a pair of aging lezzies named Lee and Sue—they refuse to give their last names and won’t pinpoint their age beyond describing themselves as being in the “third trimester” of life—who have carved out an adipose little wheezing niche for themselves online as perhaps the world’s preeminent pair of old, fat, weed-smoking lesbians.

    Whatever your feelings about weed—it’s not the drug itself which is nearly as annoying as its users—Lee and Sue rightly point out that marijuana is a far safer and effective way to deal with pain than opioids, which are ravaging their home state of Maine as brutally as they’re ripping apart predominantly white rural areas throughout the country.

    Look at us, approving of lesbians. But that’s how bad the Great White Death has become—we’ll tolerate a gassy duo of old weed-puffing clam-diggers if it means one less corpse due to the Sackler family’s Oxycontin.



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  11. #9
    The Week That Perished

    https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...t-perished-30/

    by Takimag

    March 24, 2019

    The Week’s Most Grueling, Mewling, and Befooling Headlines

    TROUBLE AT THE POVERTY PALACE

    The Southern Poverty Law Center is misnamed for the following reasons:

    1) SOUTHERN: Despite the fact that its headquarters are located in Alabama, it is aggressively anti-Southern by dint of the fact that it views Southern history as one giant stain against all things good;

    2) POVERTY: Its endowment is close to a half-billion dollars, dwarfing that of the NRA and even the ACLU;

    3) LAW: It is very selective in what laws it deems worthy of defending: For example, it equates the enforcement of current immigration laws with “hate.”

    Despite its relentless posturing as an anti-“hate” organization, it seems propelled by a cancerous hatred toward all things white and male. And most disturbingly for anyone who believes that objective journalism is not only desirable but somewhat achievable, the mainstream press unquestioningly reprints SPLC press releases as if they were gospel truth. The SPLC also advises huge tech companies on exactly what constitutes “hate” and why it should be banned.

    But despite its leaders’ savviness regarding how to make millions by exploiting modern taboos, they seem unaware that there is no end to “social justice” and that merely by having light skin and being male, their own witch-hunting would ultimately turn the witches on them, too.

    On March 13, the SPLC—which has been linked to at least two terrorist shootings—announced that it had fired its co-founder Morris Dees, a lawyer and direct-marketing millionaire who once campaigned on behalf of George Wallace and received money from the KKK to defend people who’d assaulted Freedom Riders at a bus station in Montgomery, AL. It would also surprise the SPLC’s seemingly endless pool of gullible donors to learn that as recently as 1994, Dees—by then a multi-millionaire—claimed, “probably the most discriminated people in America today are white men when it comes to jobs.”

    According to Dees’s divorce papers, his stepdaughter Holly accused him of trying to molest her with a sex toy when she was 18:

    He was in his underwear and he sat on the bed where Holly was lying on her stomach facing away from the door. He touched her on the back and woke her up. He told her that he had brough [sic] her a present, and he presented her with a vibrator. He plugged it in and said he had brought it to her. He proceeded to rub it on her back and said ‘Let me show you how to use it.’…[H]e started to place it between he [sic] legs when she raised her voice and said no loudly….About two hours later, she had fallen back asleep and he came back in….He brought the vibrator with him, plugged it in and said again, ‘Let me show you how to use it.’ He tried to show her again by putting it between her legs, but she raised her voice again and he stopped. He took it and left.

    One day after Dees was fired, the Los Angeles Times reported that two dozen SPLC staffers had signed a letter protesting “mistreatment, sexual harassment, gender discrimination, and racism” at the organization. Hilarious!

    On Friday, SPLC president Richard Cohen resigned his position “in order to give the organization the best chance to heal.”

    Last Wednesday—published before Cohen’s resignation and possibly a contributing factor to it—the New Yorker ran an essay by former SPLC staffer Bob Moser that did a bang-up job of shaming the shamers at their own shame game:

    For those of us who’ve worked in the Poverty Palace, putting it all into perspective isn’t easy, even to ourselves. We were working with a group of dedicated and talented people, fighting all kinds of good fights, making life miserable for the bad guys. And yet, all the time, dark shadows hung over everything: the racial and gender disparities, the whispers about sexual harassment, the abuses that stemmed from the top-down management, and the guilt you couldn’t help feeling about the legions of donors who believed that their money was being used, faithfully and well, to do the Lord’s work in the heart of Dixie. We were part of the con, and we knew it.

    Incoming female staffers were additionally warned by their new colleagues about Dees’s reputation for hitting on young women….The work could be meaningful and gratifying. But it was hard, for many of us, not to feel like we’d become pawns in what was, in many respects, a highly profitable scam….

    Outside of work, we spent a lot of time drinking and dishing in Montgomery bars and restaurants about the oppressive security regime, the hyperbolic fund-raising appeals, and the fact that, though the center claimed to be effective in fighting extremism, “hate” always continued to be on the rise, more dangerous than ever, with each year’s report on hate groups. “The S.P.L.C.—making hate pay,” we’d say.

    We pray for the day when, due to the relentlessly reduction ad absurdum nature of the “social justice” biz, the only person left working at the SPLC is a cancer-stricken, one-limbed, polysexual transgender mulatto Jewish dwarf infected with all known strains of HIV. Then, and only then, will justice roll down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

    BARACK OBAMA’S BROTHER ASKS IF MICHELLE IS A TRANNY

    It’s truly none of our business whether or not Barack Obama and Rahm Emanuel used to frequent a gay bath house in Chicago, nor should it matter to use whether or not his alleged wife Michelle is actually a man.

    Regarding the latter contention, Joan Rivers floated the idea that Michelle is a man, and according to Alex Jones, she may have been murdered by Michelle for spilling the beans.

    Now comes word that Obama’s half-brother Malik—who wears a MAGA hat, once promised that Barack would “be a good president for the Jewish people, despite his Muslim background,” and in 2017 tweeted an image of what is reputedly Barack Obama’s real birth certificate from Kenya—asked the following pointed question on Twitter:

    Is Michelle Michael?

    We have no desire to examine Ms. Obama’s genitals for a definitive answer. All we know is that Barack Obama has referred to her as “Michael” at least twice.

    BARBARA STREISAND: MICHAEL JACKSON’S “SEXUAL NEEDS WERE HIS SEXUAL NEEDS”

    Barbra “The Anteater” Streisand, recently released from her cryogenic chamber while it receives a spring cleaning,defended dead King of Pop Michael Jackson not specifically against sexual abuse allegations, but about whether what he was accused of doing was bad.

    Interesting angle there, Babs.

    In an interview with The Times, the chanteuse who has a bigger proboscis than any other female singer in history said that his accusers are “absolutely” telling the truth, but what’s the big dillio?:

    His sexual needs were his sexual needs, coming from whatever childhood he has or whatever DNA he has. You can say ‘molested,’ but those children, as you heard say, they were thrilled to be there. They both married and they both have children, so it didn’t kill them….I feel bad for the children. I feel bad for him. I blame, I guess, the parents, who would allow their children to sleep with him. Why would Michael need these little children dressed like him and in the shoes and the dancing and the hats?

    Wait a minute—the hats? We didn’t know about the hats. He’s lucky he died when he did, because if we’d known about the hats, we would have killed him.

    
BLACK SEMINARIANS AT PRINCETON SEEK REPARATIONS

    We’re not certain whether or not Princeton Theological Seminary uses the same racial handicapping system regarding admissions as Princeton University does, but if so, black students they are already rewarded 280 SAT bonus points compared to Asians and 230 points vis-à-vis whites.

    Still, obviously much more needs to be done and countless more boatloads of dollars need to be spent if we ever hope to see black students and Asian students reaching intellectual parity at Princeton—or anywhere else, for that matter. (A recent racial scandal erupted when it was revealed that New York City’s most elite high school, operating on a merit-based system regarding student selection, is 74% Asian and only 1% black.)

    Black students at Princeton Theological Seminary, alarmed to learn that since Princeton was founded long before the Civil War and some of its benefactors owned slaves way back then, are demanding that the school set aside over $5 million yearly to help “make amends” for things that happened at least 154 years ago.

    Prediction: They could toss $10 trillion yearly on scholarships for blacks, and 154 years from now, Asian students would outperform them to the same degree that blacks currently outperform Asians in the NBA.

    Another prediction: Within 154 years, Asian scientists will be able to graft detachable and machine-washable 10-foot legs onto Asian humans, enabling them to outperform blacks in the NBA.

    WHITE MEN REMOVED FROM “AMERICAN POLITICAL THOUGHT” SYLLABUS

    Imagine teaching a course on “German Folklore” that excludes German folklorists. Or picture a class on “Lesbian Flemish Painters” that covered everything but lesbians, Flemish people, and painters.

    A course called “American Political Thought” at the University of Colorado purposely ignores every white male who ever had a political thought. According to the syllabus provided by instructor Chad Shomura—who is possibly male but is definitely not white:

    This course aims to develop an understanding of American political life from the margins. Rather than surveying traditional figures of American political thought, it attends to historically marginalized voices at the crossings of race, gender, sexuality, and nation. It explores issues such as intersectionality, antiblack racism and the American Dream, ordinary life, borderlands and migration, public feelings, mental health, and settler colonialism. The materials we examine also exceed the usual genres of American Political Thought. They include, among other things, poems, an ethnography, academic articles, a novel, and a hacked tarot card set.

    There is no mention of the Founding Fathers or any of the presidents, at least not all the white ones.

    It’s obvious that white males need to secede from America.

  12. #10
    I've been lolling at "hat crimes" for a good 20 min now
    A savage barbaric tribal society where thugs parade the streets and illegally assault and murder innocent civilians, yeah that is the alternative to having police. Oh wait, that is the police

    We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home.
    - Edward R. Murrow

    ...I think we have moral obligations to disobey unjust laws, because non-cooperation with evil is as much as a moral obligation as cooperation with good. - MLK Jr.

    How to trigger a liberal: "I didn't get vaccinated."

  13. #11
    The Week That Perished

    https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...t-perished-31/

    by Takimag

    March 31, 2019

    The Week’s Most Screwy, Gooey, and Jewy Headlines

    BLACK/GAY/JEWISH HATE-CRIME HOAXER WALKS FREE

    Just when you thought the arc of the moral universe was bending toward justice in the case of fabulist actor/hate-crime hoaxer Jussie Smollett, that arc bent over, grabbed its ankles, and was forcibly sodomized without lubrication.

    Last Tuesday, the Illinois state’s attorney’s office abruptly announced that it was dropping all 16 felony charges against the disgraced actor who staged a fake hate crime against himself in a story that had more gaping holes than his body does. Mind you, there was no announcement that he had been found innocent—in fact, Joseph Magats, the Cook County attorney handling the case, said that he believed Smollett was guilty—but, hey, it’s time to heal and Mr. Smollett had no criminal record and should be set free to spread his ebony butterfly wings and continue flitting about the world even though his actions could have sparked a nationwide race war.

    Magats had taken over the case after Kimberly Foxx—a state’s attorney who admitted she’d told Smollett’s family that she was trying to get Chicago authorities to drop this hot potato of a case and hand it over to the feds—recused herself after essentially committing a crime and walking free in this land of horrid white supremacy.

    Their hides chafing, Chicago’s Fraternal Order of Police issued the following statement in the wake of the prosecutor’s giant puss-out:

    The FOP is outraged by the decision to drop charges against Smollett, but not surprised….Since Kimberly Foxx has taken office, she has transformed the prosecutor’s office to a political arm of the anti-police movement. We renew our call for a federal investigation of her role in this case and expect the media to conduct a thorough investigation.

    Tiny-fingered Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel, in a possible act of sincere bravery or—which is much more likely—a cold political calculation—chastised the decision as well:

    This is a whitewash of justice. It’s Mr. Smollett who committed this hoax. He’s still saying he’s innocent, still running down the Chicago Police Department. How dare he? How dare he? It is wrong. Full stop.

    Er, we’re not sure that “whitewash” is the proper term here.

    The City of Chicago sent Smollett a letter demanding that Smollett pay restitution of $130,106.15 for their costs incurred in the investigation of the bogus hate crime, adding:

    Ultimately, the Chicago police investigation revealed that you knowingly filed a false police report and had in fact orchestrated your own attack….If the amount is not timely paid, the Department of Law may prosecute you for making a false statement to the City.

    Wait just a cotton-pickin’ second: Didn’t they just drop 16 felony charges related to him making a false statement to the city? Do they think we’re gullible enough to believe they’d prosecute him for making a false statement regarding a promise to pay restitution for making a false statement in the first place?

    Apparently so.

    For his part, Smollett is claiming that the dropped charges represent a total exoneration and that his mama didn’t raise no liar, oh, no, she di’n’t.

    Our hope is that the feds pick up the case and prosecute him for that thing he did where he mailed a letter to his office that contained white powder and a death threat. As far as we know, that’s against da law.

    FACEBOOK BANS WHITE NATIONALISM

    First they came for the white supremacists—all three of them—and you said nothing.

    Now Facebook has announced that it is banning all iterations of “white nationalism” and “white separatism” because there’s really no difference between those things and “white supremacy,” despite the fact that there are clear distinctions between all three terms, because even though supporters of these ideologies hardly ever encourage violence, that’s what they’re really gunning for, and if we don’t silence them and put them in camps, who knows when they’re going to start gunning down poor old black ladies in wheelchairs and innocent Muslim chemo patients riding shotgun on those wheelchairs?

    Equating white nationalism with “hate”—as these $#@!s are wont to do while expecting we can’t tell the difference—Facebook’s wormy spokespeeps explained:

    Today we’re announcing a ban on praise, support and representation of white nationalism and white separatism on Facebook and Instagram….It’s clear that these concepts are deeply linked to organized hate groups and have no place on our services…over the past three months our conversations with members of civil society and academics who are experts in race relations around the world have confirmed that white nationalism and white separatism cannot be meaningfully separated from white supremacy and organized hate groups….People searching for these terms will be directed to Life After Hate, an organization founded by former violent extremists that provides crisis intervention, education, support groups and outreach.

    Black nationalism? Not a problem.

    Asian nationalism? It’s only natural.

    Jewish nationalism? De rigueur.

    White nationalism? Get the $#@! outta here.

    Slowly, we began to hate Facebook.

    THE WANG OF YANG

    Just because the average erect penis size of North Koreans is 3.8 inches and 4.3 inches for Chinamen doesn’t mean it’s OK to mock Mother Nature’s cruel underendowment of Oriental males.

    It’s funny as all get-out, but that doesn’t make it OK.

    The Washington Examiner just ran the following headline about Democratic presidential candidate Andrew Yang, and if there’s a funnier headline from now until Election Eve 2020, we’ll eat a box of condoms on live TV:

    Andrew Yang ‘self-conscious’ about his wang

    Last year in his book The War on Normal People, Yang recalled being taunted by non-Asian bullies in school about the astronomically high statistical possibility that he was packing a tampon between his legs:

    ‘Hey, Yang, what’s it like having such a small dick? Everyone knows Chinese guys have small dicks.’…I became quite self-conscious. I started wondering if I did indeed have a small dick.

    He wondered? There’s only one way to find out. We thought Asians were good with things such as numbers and measurements.

    BLACKS-ONLY POLITICAL EVENT IN GEORGIA

    Because we are a nation driven apart by division and separatism and difference and disunity, we all need to come together as one, and in order to achieve this, we need to keep all the white people out, and if you don’t understand this, we’re going to report you to Facebook for being a white separatist.

    Last week in the beautiful but crime-ridden coastal Georgia town of Savannah, a black church held a black meeting with black politicians and posted a “Black press only” sign on their welcoming doors of inclusion. According to the black people who attended, there was talk of inclusion and unity, but if you have a problem with excluding white people, you don’t realize that this country guarantees freedom of association for everyone but white people, you whitey-white bigot.

    NON-OBESE MEN URGED TO CUDDLE WITH EACH OTHER WITHOUT ACHIEVING ERECTIONS

    In order for men to shed their toxic veneer of masculinity like a bunch of snakes molting their skin in a serpentine circle jerk, they must come together and cuddle one another so long as they don’t have back problems, aren’t fat, and promise that they won’t get boners in the process.

    This is the goal of the Men’s Therapeutic Cuddle Group, some squirrelly weekly get-together in suburban Philly designed “to provide a safe, structured, and platonic environment for men to experience ‘the three As’: Acceptance, Affirmation and Affection.” As long as you have a penis, they don’t care if you’re black, white, yellow, brown, or teal, but they warn that “men with back or knee injuries, or those suffering from obesity may find it difficult to fully participate.”

    The group insists that all cuddling be nonsexual in nature and demands that all men shower before attending. However, they note that “most men experience some level or arousal during cuddling. This is completely normal…we’re all guys. We just ignore it. There is no shame here!”

    That’s precisely the problem—there is no shame there. There should be.

    VIBRANT IMMIGRANT SUSPECTED OF DISMEMBERING A WOMAN WHILE SHE WAS ALIVE

    Because diversity is our strength and because illiterate Nigerian savages need to be imported to do the dismembering that Italians won’t do, it is no surprise that a Nigerian drug dealer with the hyper-ironic name of Innocent Oseghale is currently on trial for the murder of an 18-year-old Italian girl whom he also allegedly dismembered—while she was alive.

    According to a witness in Mr. Innocent’s trial, the accused began stabbing indigenous Italian Pamela Mastropietro immediately after raping her and then, assuming she was dead, he left the scene to summon help in dismembering her. After they returned and started severing her foot, she allegedly cried out for help, spurring the vibrant migrants to stab her until she shut up forever.

    If this is progress, we’d rather live in the Stone Age. People seemed more considerate back then.

  14. #12
    The Week That Perished

    https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...t-perished-32/

    by Takimag

    April 07, 2019

    The Week’s Most Wheezing, Teasing, and Displeasing Headlines

    AMERICA LOSES ITS RELIGION

    According to the recently released General Social Survey, Americans who identify with no religion now edge out Catholics and Evangelicals, and all three groups leave mainline Protestants in the dust.

    The survey found that people with no religion—identified as “nones”—accounted for 23.1% of the population in 2018, beating Catholics by a razor-thin one-tenth of a percent and Evangelicals by six-tenths of a percent. Mainline Protestants, whose numbers have seen a 62.5% decline since the early 1980s, run a distant fourth with a mere 10.8%, but at least they can take slim comfort that they still outnumber the Jains and Hare Krishnas.

    The survey finds that over the past three decades, the quotient of Americans who say you can take your organized religion and stuff it up your hellhole has ballooned by 266%. A concept known as “secularization theory” argues that “as countries become more industrialized and prosperous then the throwing off of religion becomes more normalized.”

    This should come as no surprise, though. Studies have consistently shown that religious belief is negatively correlated with intelligence. And across the globe, religious faith is most intense in places such as turd-infested dummy zones such as Africa and the Middle East.

    BLACK WOMAN SAYS WHITE PEOPLE “OWN TIME”

    Brittney Cooper is “an associate professor of women’s and gender studies and Africana studies,” which sounds about as intellectually challenging as swatting at tsetse flies.

    She says that the concept of time is a white thang.

    From a TED talk she delivered:

    Typically, we talk about race in terms of black and white issues. In the African-American communities from which I come, we have a long-standing multigenerational joke about what we call CP time or colored people time. Now, we no longer refer to African-Americans as colored. But this long-standing joke about our perpetual lateness to church, to cookouts, to family events and even to our own funerals remains. I personally am a stickler for time. It’s almost as if my mother, when I was growing up, said, we will not be those black people. So we typically arrive to events 30 minutes early. But today I want to talk to you more about the political nature of time; for if time had a race, it would be white. White people own time.

    So THAT’S why black people are always late!

    She also says that the concept of time has “a political history bound up with the plunder of indigenous lands, the genocide of indigenous people and the stealing of Africans from their homeland.”

    That sucks!

    You know who doesn’t have a concept of time? The Australian aborigines, and look how well that worked out for them. Maybe white people are onto something with this whole “time” thing.

    MIDDLE EASTERNERS RESENT BEING CALLED WHITE

    To be fair for once in our friggin’ lives, we’ve never considered Middle Easterners to be white. Anyone with a functional pair of peepers knows that they tend to range in hue from mocha cappuccino to the color of goat urine.

    Americans of Middle Eastern origin are starting to also notice that they aren’t white, because they aren’t getting any of the handouts that nonwhites are entitled to in this rampagingly white-supremacist country.

    Sarah Shabbar, whose ancestors were Jordanian, says that she didn’t have a big deal with being considered white until she got to college and realize that there was no special free money set aside for Arabs.

    David Shams, an Iranian, likens officially being considered white to a stigma:

    It makes me feel unheard, like I’m shouting into this void saying that we’re not white and no one is listening….Having the federal government label us as white, while our social status is anything but, further stigmatizes our position in society….We have no recourse. We have no way to talk about diversity or discrimination because if we’re white, we can’t be discriminated against based on race. And so we’re left in this gray area.

    May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the armpits of all ingrate intruders.

    NEW WAVE OF CHURCH DESECRATIONS IN FRANCE

    France, a country that some Taki’s Mag staffers aren’t exactly fond of, is experiencing a wave of burglaries and desecrations in Catholic churches across the country.

    Such blasphemies include feces smeared in the form of a cross on a church wall, teenagers urinating in holy water fonts, graffiti of satanic symbols, Virgin Mary statues shattered and lying in pieces, Jesus statues decapitated, and consecrated eucharists spread randomly on the floor.

    A sociologist with the gay-sounding name of Phillipe Poiter seems to finger Muslims rather than Satanists for the crimes: “Part of the population has not been socialized as Christians and does not realize what these attacks on the sacred can mean.”

    We think he’s wrong—not about who’s committing the crimes, but about whether they realize what these attacks symbolize. We believe they’re fully aware of what they’re doing.

    GROWN MAN TRANSITIONS INTO “HUMAN PUP”

    Kaz James is a 37-year-old Englishman who, due to some quirk of either neurology or personality, believes that he is a dog.

    The store manager from Greater Manchester eats out of a dog bowl and wears a £2,000 fur suit that makes him look like a dog, and when you really think about it, if he was actually a dog like he claims he is, he wouldn’t need that suit.

    Kaz attempts to explain why he’s so weird:

    I didn’t ever feel like a human, I always felt like a dog that was really out of place. I never really had a name for it, being a pup wasn’t a thing I knew about. When I met other people like me I felt I could be myself. I was known by my friends for saying hello to them by grabbing hold of the collar of their shirt in my teeth and biting or licking them, very canine-type behaviors. It was always how I was. The first time I heard the term of being a pup was through a pup I met online, he was the first person I met who was like me. Through him, I knew other pups and learned a whole new language of this other world that I didn’t know about with a whole bunch of other people who were like me. It was a liberating moment knowing there were other people like me, having felt properly weird for the longest time.


    Woof woof.

    HATE-CRIME HOAX OF THE WEEK

    Forty-seven-year-old Andrew McClinton is a black man who lives in Jackson, MS, a town which is 80% black and really should be enough for him to feel comfortable and calm down about the phantom demon of “racism.” If anyone’s kicking anyone’s ass for racial reasons in Jackson, MS, we have a strong suspicion that they aren’t melanin-impaired.

    McClinton recently pleaded guilty to burning down the Missionary Baptist Church in Greenville, MS, a week before the election and spray-painting VOTE TRUMP on the church’s charred remains.

    Errick D. Simmons, the mayor of Greenville and therefore a man who should at least know how to spell “Eric,” mentioned something about “the past and history” and how we should focus on bad things that happened to black people decades and centuries ago rather than bad things that black people are actually doing today.

    FALSE RAPE ACCUSATION OF THE WEEK

    In 2014, an Australian woman named Sarah Jane Parkinson accused her fiancée of rape and assault after what was, as luck would have it, the day she’d embarked on another relationship with a new man. When police arrived at her house, she’d gone to the trouble of undoing her jeans and giving herself a head injury that she blamed on hapless fiancée Daniel Jones.

    Jones was tried, convicted, and spent five months in a creepy, moldy (we made that part up) Australian prison until investigators concluded that Parkinson was full of beans.

    Upon his release, Jones lamented:

    I thought she was the love of my life….I’d just built a house and she’d moved in with me, everything was going well. I had everything going right… and in that instant, everything just went to $#@!…. There were times when I considered ending it all….[She is] a lying, vindictive, cancerous woman.

    The lyin’ Aussie hussy has been convicted of filing a false police report and will now have to spend three years in a creepy, moldy Australian prison.

  15. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Anti Federalist View Post
    May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the armpits of all ingrate intruders.
    LOL
    Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.

    Robert Heinlein

    Give a man an inch and right away he thinks he's a ruler

    Groucho Marx

    I love mankind…it’s people I can’t stand.

    Linus, from the Peanuts comic

    You cannot have liberty without morality and morality without faith

    Alexis de Torqueville

    Those who fail to learn from the past are condemned to repeat it.
    Those who learn from the past are condemned to watch everybody else repeat it

    A Zero Hedge comment

  16. #14
    The Week That Perished

    https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...t-perished-33/

    by Takimag

    April 14, 2019

    The Week’s Stingiest, Mingiest, and Whingiest Headlines

    JULIAN ASSANGE ARRESTED

    Master hacker and exotic dancer Julian Assange has been holed up in London’s Ecuadorian Embassy since 2012 when they offered him refuge from some rather flimsy rape charges regarding a 2010 incident in Sweden.

    Now the Ecuadorians have sent him kicking and screaming into the hands of police officers who hauled him into court to face charges for skipping bail in the UK. He was then slapped with a US extradition request for hacking an estimated 750,000 classified documents. He is expected to face further charges in the US for espionage, a crime that carries a potential 20-year sentence.

    As fate would have it, his arrest came one day after Assange’s Wikileaks website released a trove of documents accusing Ecuador of an “extensive spying operation” and a month after the IMF approved a $4.2 billion aid package from Washington to Ecuador. Officials accused Assange of being a stinky and combative tenant who was prone to smearing feces on the walls. To be fair to the Ecuadorians, Assange does look like he’s aged 40 years since being holed up in their Embassy and bears the appearance of a man who smells terrible.

    Airheaded tit monster Pamela Anderson, who claims to have had a sexual relationship with Assange while he was in captivity, went on Twitter to accuse Ecuador of expelling Assange because he “exposed” them. She also accused the UK of being “America’s bitch” and that they “need a diversion from your idiotic Brexit bull$#@!.”

    You may want to take it down a notch, Pam. You’re not helping.

    THOSE WACKY RAPPERS AND THEIR KOOKY DEATH THREATS

    A long time ago, Chuck D from black nationalist hip-hop group Public Enemy said that “rap is black America’s CNN,” which would make sense if CNN anchors were constantly threatening to slit bitches’ throats and shoot people between the eyes over the slightest sign of disrespect.

    A 26-year-old Florida rapper named Christopher Maurice McCallum—he really needs to work on the name there if he ever wants to sell records—has been arrested and charged with threatening a mass shooting after he posted lyrics on Facebook threatening to “catch you at a Gator game and shoot the whole campus up.”

    Other rappers are throwing their support behind the legal appeals process for Mayhem Mal, née Jamal Knox, who was arrested in 2012 after police found a loaded gun and fifteen bags of heroin in his car. Shortly after his arrest, Mr. Mal released a rap track threatening the two officers who’d busted him—and naming them in his song. He was subsequently jailed for making terroristic threats. His defenders claim the legal system and “society” simply don’t understand hip-hop and that the lyrics aren’t meant to be taken seriously, even though, you know, he mentioned the two cops by name.

    French rapper Nick Conrad has been punished—if you could call it that—with a suspended fine for a video he made called “Hang White People” that shows Conrad kidnapping, torturing, and hanging a white man. It also contains the lyrics “I go to the nurseries, I kill the white babies. Catch them quick and hang their parents!” As with Mayhem Mal, Conrad and his supporters are claiming that white people are taking it all way too seriously because they are racists who don’t understand or even attempt to appreciate the deep nuances and complexities of black culture.

    NHS STAFFERS QUIT OVER TRANNY-KID PROGRAM

    In 2010, 94 British children were referred to the Gender Identity Development Service clinic for possible counseling as to how to poison themselves with hormones and delude themselves that they are anything other than the gender in which they were born.

    Last year, over 2,500 children were referred, and at least five clinicians have resigned, claiming that gender conversion therapy for children is scientifically untested and potentially dangerous. According to one of the clinicians, all of whom are unnamed:

    I felt for the last two years what kept me in the job was the sense there was a huge number of children in danger. I was there to protect children from being damaged….This experimental treatment is being done on not only children, but very vulnerable children.

    Carl Heneghan of the University of Oxford underlines the idea that none of this gender voodoo has been established as safe or even efficient:

    Given paucity of evidence, the off-label use of drugs in gender dysphoria treatment largely means an unregulated live experiment on children.

    The message is clear: The only reason one would object to using children as sexual guinea pigs is because one is blinded by irrational hatred.

    TEACHER SUSPENDED FOR READING JAMES BALDWIN ALOUD

    Philip Adamo is a professor at Augsburg University in Minneapolis. He was recently suspended for reading the following sentence from James Baldwin’s The Fire Next Time aloud in class:

    You can only be destroyed by believing that you really are what the white world calls a niggger.

    Pardon our unbearable whiteness, but that sounds harsher toward white people than toward The Blacks.

    Regardless, word spread like racial wildfire among students that Adamo had said the “N” word in class. The next day, students requested that Adamo leave the class, which he did while additional students filled the classroom. Adamo tried to justify his behavior via emails, but it was too late. He was suspended.

    He has subsequently apologized and pretended that even mentioning the word causes “harm,” but as anyone who is familiar with leftist totalitarianism knows, attempting to compromise or apologize will only make them sink in their talons deeper.

    MAN FINED FOR REFERRING TO A MALE AS A “MALE

    A Canadian Christian preacher who is so blinded by hate that he actually thinks that men are men and women are women has been fined $55,000 for referring to a biological male as a “biological male.”

    Last month, a woman in England received a knock on the door by police after she identified a child based on the, er, gender it was assigned at birth. This sort of thing happens again and again on that tiny soggy island that ruled the planet a mere century ago.

    Starting in 2015, New York City legalized fines of up to a quarter-million dollars for the crime of calling a boy a boy. In Oregon, a teacher received a $60,000 settlement in 2016 after accusing his/her/its associates of refusing to submit to the delusion that it somehow had swapped out the gender that Mother Nature had given it.

    Are you starting to feel that they’re just messing with our heads?

    LESBIANS SEEK SPLIT FROM OTHER QUEEER GROUPS

    Everyone knows that lesbians are the most unpleasant people in the world and that if they truly enjoyed being with other women, they’d smile every once in a while.

    As further proof that they can’t get along with anyone, some especially mouthy carpet-munchers are now urging their muff-lickin’ sistas to reject the rest of the “LGBT” community. A self-described “lesbian feminist activist” who has given herself the edgy name of “Angela Wild” rails against the gays, the bisexuals, and the trannies in a rant called “Lesbians need to get the L out of the LGBT+ community.” She claims that the male-to-female trannies, sometimes with penises intact and pointed in her direction, are forcing her to have sex with them under the ruse that it is authentic lesbianism:

    Our research findings show that lesbians are under huge pressure within their LGBT+ groups to accept transwomen as sexual partners so as not to be labelled as trans-exclusionary radical feminists – or Terfs – and subsequently excluded by their GBT groups.

    Lesbians who responded to our survey also reported experiencing sexual violence from transwomen ranging from online grooming, domestic and sexual violence as part of a relationship, sexual harassment, sexual assault (including in women’s toilets), coercion and rape.

    Ms. Wild also claims that lesbos who refuse to have sex with trannies are being called “transphobic bigots” and “Nazis” who should be “dragged out by our saggy tits.”

    We have no comment. We just want these dizzy broads to keep catfighting.

    STUDY: SEXY WOMEN MAKE OTHER WOMEN VIOLENT

    Living in a white supremacist patriarchy as we do, we are endlessly sold the debunked trope that women are something less than innocent goddesses and that they are often manipulative and malicious, especially toward one another.

    A recently published study called “Aggression Toward Sexualized Women Is Mediated by Decreased Perceptions of Humanness” only serves to perpetuate such destructive myths:

    Researchers have argued that the regulation of female sexuality is a major catalyst for women’s intrasexual aggression….Results showed that women rated another woman lower on uniquely human personality traits when she was dressed in a sexualized (vs. conventional) manner. Lower humanness ratings subsequently predicted increased aggression toward her in a behavioral measure of aggression. This effect was moderated by trait intrasexual competitiveness; lower humanness ratings translated into more aggression, but only for women scoring relatively high on intrasexual competition.

    In other words, if women encounter another woman whom they suspect may be sexually attractive to men, they will dehumanize her in order to feel completely righteous about clawing out her eyeballs.

    H. L. Mencken once defined a misogynist as “a man who hates women as much as women hate one another,” but his views can be discounted because he was not only a confirmed misogynist but also a card-carrying anti-Semite.

  17. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Anti Federalist View Post
    A long time ago, Chuck D from black nationalist hip-hop group Public Enemy said that “rap is black America’s CNN,” which would make sense if CNN anchors were constantly threatening to slit bitches’ throats and shoot people between the eyes over the slightest sign of disrespect.
    Give it a few more years and replace "bitches" with "MAGA hat wearers".
    Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.

    Robert Heinlein

    Give a man an inch and right away he thinks he's a ruler

    Groucho Marx

    I love mankind…it’s people I can’t stand.

    Linus, from the Peanuts comic

    You cannot have liberty without morality and morality without faith

    Alexis de Torqueville

    Those who fail to learn from the past are condemned to repeat it.
    Those who learn from the past are condemned to watch everybody else repeat it

    A Zero Hedge comment

  18. #16
    The Week That Perished

    https://www.takimag.com/article/the-...t-perished-34/

    by Takimag

    April 21, 2019

    The Week’s Most Defamatory, Inflammatory, and Confirmatory Headlines

    IS FRANCE BURNING?

    One needed the sentience of a rock to be able to ignore the deep symbolism behind the specter of the Notre Dame Cathedral burning last Monday in Paris—here was a presumably ineffable symbol of France, of Europe, and of Christendom that was nearly 1,000 years old, and it was immolating before the world’s eyes. Pundits are straining with every last sphincter muscle to throw cold water on any speculation that the blaze was the result of arson, especially at the hands of Islamists.

    What almost escaped notice entirely is the fact 875 churches were vandalized last year in France, and over 1,000 the year before amid a wave of what’s being dubbed “militant secularism,” possibly because newsmen choke on the words “Islamic extremism.” According to Republicans MP Valerie Boyer, “Every day, at least two churches are profaned.” This includes burglaries and graffiti and smashed glass and feces smeared on walls.

    
Still, we are counseled not to focus on these anti-Christian attacks because to do so would steal some of the thunder from Jewish victims of all the alleged anti-Semitic attacks raging through France, many of which are presumed not to have actually been committed by Jews.

    And we must never forget the rancid stench of Islamophobia that pervades Paris and which led to such atrocities as the Charlie Hebdo massacre and the Bataclan theater attack. Nothing causes Muslims to go on shooting sprees like the idea that Muslims go on shooting sprees.

    If anyone is to be blamed for the fire, it is obviously France’s Christians. In a series of interviews given for Rolling Stone, one reputed expert of something-or-other called the cathedral “a deep-seated symbol of resentment” whose renovation must “be dealt with critically” in order to more adequately represent a “divided France.”

    In fact, a prominent Israeli rabbi blames the fire squarely at the Christians who helped build Notre Dame. Taking it upon himself to speak for all Jews, Shlomo Aviner explains that Christianity “is our number one enemy throughout history. [They] tried to convert us by arguments and by force, carried out an inquisition against us, burned the Talmud, expulsions, pogroms. Western anti-Semitism draws from Christianity’s hatred of the ‘murderers of God.’ It also had a role in the Holocaust.” Aviner suggests that God waited nearly 800 years after Christians staged a mass burning of Talmuds to strike back and avenge his Jewish children in his inimitably wrathful way.

    BRET EASTON ELLIS SAYS YOU’RE A BIG BABY WHO NEEDS TO GET OVER IT

    Bret Easton Ellis is a gay author who gets away with saying things that gay people aren’t supposed to say, because then if they call him a “******,” they’re the ones who look bad and he’s a victim and the whole sick cycle starts again and everybody winds up with AIDS.

    In a recent interview, Ellis related how he had to tell his boyfriend to shut the hell up about Donald Trump and get the frick over it or he’d have to eat his Hot Pockets without the mayo and red pepper on them like he likes them.

    Ellis says that the millennial generation, which he refers to as “Generation Wuss,” suffers from “childlike fascism” and “demented narcissism” that lead to “oversensitivity, their sense of entitlement, their insistence they were always right despite sometimes overwhelming proof to the contrary, their joint tendencies of overreaction and passive-aggressive possibility.”

    He also describes his internal dialogue when listening to someone spew out the same moldy old Trump Derangement System they’ve been vomiting since June of 2015. See if it doesn’t sound exactly like what’s going on in your head when you hear one of these loons start howling at Venus:

    [I’d] stare at them while a tiny voice in the back of my head started sighing, You are the biggest $#@!ing baby I’ve ever $#@!ing heard in my entire $#@!ing life and please you’ve got to $#@!ing calm the $#@! down — I get it, I get it, you don’t like $#@!ing Trump but for $#@!’s sake enough already for $#@!’s sake.

    What he said—you really need to calm the heck down.

    CHASE BANK SHUTTING DOWN “ALT-RIGHT” ACCOUNTS

    In case you were naïve and stupid and gullible and weak-brained enough to think that Donald Trump’s election would ease pressure on publishers of dissident-right materials, think again, Beaver Cleaver, because we might as well have elected Stalin.

    If they aren’t banning you from social media and deplatforming all of your publications, they’re making it impossible for you to feed yourself. Now comes word that Chase Bank is suspending the bank accounts of anyone they consider “Alt-Right,” which from a recent phone conversation with a Chase representative appears to be anyone who ever thought a kind thing about Donald Trump. Chase recently suspended the account of a black male leader of Gavin McInnes’s Proud Boys organization, which goes out of its way to distance itself from the slightest whiff of “racism” or “anti-Semitism” but winds up getting written down on Nazi and terror lists anyway.

    It should be illegal for banks to refuse service to anyone based on their beliefs. Until it is illegal, we wish for all bankers to suffer from acute insomnia with a side dash of painful rectal itch.

    HATRED AGAINST JOURNALISTS ON THE RISE: BAD NEWS?

    The problem with stories by journalists about how journalists are facing an unprecedented and entirely inexplicable wave of hatred is that journalists, by definition, are congenitally incapable of ever pondering why anyone might hate them.

    A recent story by a “media watchdog” called Reporters Without Borders claims that all this baseless and irrational hatred is being whipped up by populist tinhorns who’ve created a climate where journalists, like everyone else on the planet, need to be concerned for their safety.

    After all, it’s not as if almost the entire American media-industrial complex just finished a two-year run of nonstop lying about Trump and Russia, so why the hell is everyone getting paranoid about the good men and women of the fifth estate?

    A good rule to live by: If you have to wonder why people hate you, it’s probably too late to change their minds.

    ONLINE ACTIVISTS HARASS MEDICAL RESEARCHERS INTO SILENCE

    A generation or two ago, the term “Do It Yourself” was popularized in the indie-music scene. It seemed like a nice creed until one pondered the ugly fact that hardly any of the “yourselves” that were “doing it” had a lick of talent.

    The same thing applies to social media—everyone has an opinion. But everyone also has an anus, and almost without exception, it is better formed than their opinion is.

    Medical researchers are now finding it increasingly difficult to conduct their studies due to the fact that social media is awash with fanatics who wish to kill you if you dare to, oh, suggest that their physical ailment might have a psychological cause. A recent article from Reuters details the travails of researchers into chronic fatigue syndrome who are endlessly buffeted by patients who blanch at the idea that it’s all in their heads and therefore retaliate with volleys of calumny and abuse.

    Simon Wessely, a professor of psychological medicine at King’s College London, says that even though he stopped conducting online research into chronic fatigue syndrome years ago, he is still subjected to “relentless internet stalking,” accused of playing “pathetic ego driven games,” and is charged with killing patients due to his insistence that there may be a psychological cause of the ailment.

    The least that can be learned from this is that chronic fatigue syndrome is caused by online trolls.

    MURAL REMOVED BECAUSE IT FEATURES ALL WHITE CHILDREN

    When one takes into account the fact that in 1930 the USA’s population was 90% white, it doesn’t seem all too scandalous to consider that a WPA mural painted during the Great Depression would feature an entirely white group of children playing outside in the winter. After all, the nation was almost completely white at the time, and everyone knows that black people are terrified of snow.

    Still, the principal at a Chicago middle school recently removed the mural after self-appointed representatives of the institution’s 45-percent-nonwhite student population complained that the painting didn’t show people who looked like them, and if they can’t see paintings of people who look like them, how are they going to perform well on math tests, even though, if you want to get all technical, Asian students don’t need to be adequately represented in pictorials in order to score well in math, so maybe you should quit blaming your innate evolutionary cognitive deficiencies on racist paintings.

    BOY TOSSED THREE FLOORS FROM MALL RAILING

    The national news made hardly a peep at the ghastly story of a five-year-old boy being tossed from the third-floor balcony at Mall of America in Minneapolis.

    Even after falling forty feet, the boy, Landon Hoffman, survived. His friends and family have raised over a quarter-million dollars toward his medical bills.

    Twenty-four-year-old Emmanuel Deshawn Aranda, a Minneapolis resident with a long history of arrests, has been charged with attempted homicide regarding the incident.

    We find no need to list the race of the victim and perpetrator. The fact that you haven’t heard about this story tells you all you need to know.



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