Bear invites himself over for a hot tub session and a few slurps of margarita

[Swordsmyth]

A Southern California man's afternoon margarita session was rather brazenly interrupted by a bear hellbent on hydration.

As he perched in his backyard, cradling his beloved beverage, Mark Hough heard a crunching of twigs and a rustling of leaves, The Associated Press reports.
Then came the very large bear.
"There's a bear climbing up over my fence," Hough recalled to the news agency earlier this week.
Recognizing that it was a particularly torrid day in Altadena, Hough calmly evacuated the yard to let the newcomer avail himself of the amenities.
And the bear, literally, dove right in.
"He was playing, having a grand old time," Hough noted.
Indeed, the unexpected guest spent hours ambling in and out of the yard, rummaging through the bushes, while Hough sagely stayed inside, recording the scene on video.
Then the bear showed his soft side, slipping into the bubbling Jacuzzi, outstretching his weary arms — and let's face it, channeling anyone who's ever capped a long day by melting into a hot tub.
A few minutes later, the soaking wet bear emerged from his bath, knocked over Hough's margarita with a mighty slap and lapped up the punchy contents.
We've seen bears go to great lengths to find food. And sadly, even smash their way into homes and pizza joints, to find food. A bear's sense of smell is so powerful, they're said to be able to detect an animal carcass from as far as 20 miles away.
But tequila, triple sec and fresh lime?
It's possible this bear may already be wise to the ways of humans. As ABC7 reports, he did have a red tag on his ear. That would suggest the bear is being tracked for research or conservation purposes.
For his part, Hough lost track of the bear about an hour after the tequila-tossing incident. (Maybe the bear was writing a rosy Yelp review of the experience?)
Then Hough heard another sound, this time from up in a tree.
The bear was sleeping like a giant, fur-covered baby.
"So he had his margarita, he had his Jacuzzi, and now he's ready for an hour nap," he told AP. "It was an interesting Friday, to say the least."

https://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/an...-tub-margarita

[Suzanimal]

Soaking in a Jacuzzi and sipping margaritas? I think I found my spirit animal.

[Schifference]

I think the bear is a entitlement liberal.

[Swordsmyth]

Bears: they’re just like us. They need to make Monday afternoon liquor runs to stock up on supplies to get through the rest of the week in good spirits. At least, that certainly seemed to be the case for a Bristol, CT bear, who cruised through Crazy Bruce’s liquor store earlier this week. According to security video procured by the Hartford Courant, the savvy bear set off the automatic sliding door of the establishment in a Shop Rite Plaza on Monday, making it easy enough to step inside.
It was only about 2:00 p.m., which suggests this bear had an especially tough Monday. We all can relate.
Unfortunately — or fortunately, depending on how you look at it — the bear didn’t make it all the way into the inner sanctum of Crazy Bruce’s. Instead, a quick-thinking employee locked an inner door, keeping the bear chilling in the foyer while they figured out what to do. An unaware customer was waved through, but no incidences arose despite the unusual situation.
“One of the guys saw him outside and at first thought it was a big dog, but when he came into the foyer you could see,” Dan Niedzwiecki, an assistant store manager, told the Courant.
Eventually the bear, denied access to the store’s goods, headed out to the parking lot. Hopefully he found what he was looking for in more natural environs.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/many-amon...155405321.html

[Anti Federalist]

Well, like to explain to you all before,
I ain't no drinkin' man
I tried it once and it got me highly irregular
And I swore I'd never do it again
I promised my brother in-law that I'd go up watch his still
While he went in to town to vote
It was right up on the mountain
where the map said it would be
Friends let me tell you one thing,
though it wasn't no ordinary still
It stood up on that mountainside
like a hugh golden opal

God's yeller moon shinin' on the cool clear evenin'
God's little lanterns twinklin' on and off in the heavens
Like I explain'd to you once before I ain't no drinkin' man
But temptation got the best of me
And I took a slash
That yella whiskey runnin' down my throat
like honey dew vine water

And I took another slash,
Took another'n an another'n an another'n
For you knew I'd downed one whole jug of that $#@!
and commenced to gettin' hot flashes
Goose pimples was runnin' up and down my body
And a feelin' came over me
like somethin' I'd never experienced before
It was like, like I was in love
In love for the first time, with anything that moved
Animate, inanimate it didn't matter
It's like there's a great neon sign flashin' on an' off
in my brain sayin' "Jimmy Buffett there's a great day a comin'"
`Cause I was drunk
I wasn't knee crawlin', slip slidin', Reggie Youngin'
Commode huggin' drunk

I was God's own drunk and a fearless man
And that's when I first saw the bear
He was a Kodiak lookin' fella `bout nineteen feet tall
He rambled up over the hill
expectin' me to do one of two things,
Flip or fly, I didn't do either one
It hung him up

He started sniffin' around my body tryin' to smell fear
But he ain't gonna smell no fear `cause
I'm God's own drunk and a fearless man
It hung him up
He looked right in my eyes, and my eyes
was a lot redder than his was
It hung him up

So I approached him, I said "Mr. Bear, I love
every hair on your twenty-seven acre body
I know you got a lot of friends over there
on the other side of the hill
There's ole' rare bear, tall bear, Freddy bear, Kelly bear
Really bear, smelly the bear, smokey the bear,
pokey the bear
I want you to go back over there tonight
And tell them I'm feelin' right
You tell them I love each and everyone of them
like a brother and a sister

But if they give me any trouble tonight
I'm gonna run every God damn one of them off the hill"
He took two steps backwards and didn't know what to think
Neither did I but bein' charitable and cautious
Well hell I approached him again
I said "Mr. Bear, You know in the eyes of the Lord
we're both beasts when it comes right down to it

So I want you to be my buddy, Buddy bear"
So I took ole' buddy bear by his island size paw
and I led him over to the still
He's a sniffin' around that thing cause
he's smellin' somethin' good
I gave him one of them jugs of honey dew vine water
He downed it up right
Looked like one of them damn bears in the circus

Sippin' sasparilly in the moonlight
I gave him another'n an another'n an another'n
For I knew it he downed eight of them
and commenced to doin' the bear dance
Two snips, a snort, a fly turn, and a grunt
It was so simple like the jitter bug
It plum evaded me

We worked ourselves into a tumultuous uproar
And I was awful tired and went over to the hillside
and I laid down and went to sleep
Slept for four hours and dreampt me some tremulous dreams
When I woke up, there was God's yeller moon
shinin' on the clear cool evenin'

God's little lanterns twinklin' on and off
in the heavens
My buddy the bear was a missin'
Want to know something else friends and neighbors
So was that still

[tod evans]

Bear comes on my property he dies, no questions asked, no mercy.

[brushfire]

Climate change at work. More of these bears have been acclimated to higher water temperatures.

Hot tub and a refreshing drink - what better way is there to see the world off?

[shakey1]

[Anti Globalist]

That bear must be the life of the party.