Dear Abbey: I was waited on at an Applebees by a multi-gendered, multi-sexual today. Under the name on the ticket it read "White-male-Cis-Gendered-$#@!-lord." I ordered an appetizer of Chicken Wonton Tacos and a main course of the Half Rack of Double Glazed Baby Back Ribs. The service wasn't very good, it seemed almost hostile, but I tipped 15% because that is expected these days. Should I complain to the management?
Dear $#@!-lord: No. That would be inappropriate. Because you are white male and cis-gendered, you have special privileges not afforded to absolutely anyone else in society. Realize that by ordering a fusion of Chinese and Latin American as an appetizer and a Black American main course you were insulting individuals from these cultures. It's called cultural appropriation. You have no right to eating these foods and were lucky enough to have been afforded the opportunity. It would have been appropriate to have tipped 99% of your bill as a way of repatriation for past injustices by living your life of a one-percenter. In the future, if you wish to avoid this situation, I recommend you take your supper at your Country Club.
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