ICE pulled me aside for "secondary screening" coming back into the USA!!

[unknown]

I'm coming back into the good 'ole USA (you know - the "land of the free") and the immigration people decide to pull me aside for secondary screening. Even with my extensive study of how to handle such situations I did not handle it as well as I should have. They asked me to go into another room where they had a counter and several goons and some waiting chairs for all the "mother-rapers and father-rapers".

After waiting at least 10 minutes they called me up and the very first thing I said was "why am I being detained". That drew a smirk from the goon and when I saw the look he was giving me I stated "you know where this is going". I informed him that I was not going to answer any of his questions and I wanted to know what reason they "detained" me. They would not give me one (of course) and stated that they were "doing their job" (of course I stated that the Nazis said the same thing). I asked them what authority they have and they stated some law and I asked for a copy of it (which they actually provided). When I looked at it it only said they have authority to "inspect and search". I told them (visibly angry by now and raising my voice in front of all the other rapers) I emptied all my pockets into my bags and told them here I am, inspect me and search me and let me go on my way because they are detaining me for an investigation which is outside their jurisdiction. They asked me a few more questions and I firmly told them I'm not answering their questions and to either charge me or let me go. I even turned my back to the desk and held my hands behind my back for the cuffs.

During the course of 20 minutes or so I asked them several times if I'm free to go and at one time the goon said "you can try" in a threatening manor. They were holding my passport (which I would have let them keep if necessary and apply for another). At one point the goon told the supervisor goon who was watching over his shoulder that "I got nothing" and some reference to the fact that he was not the one who flagged me for secondary screening. At that point they decided to go talk to my wife who was waiting for me outside (in spite of the fact that I had texted her to go out of the screening area) and pulled her in to talk to me (as I was visibly angry and making many references to the police state). I did not appreciate them involving her (of course she answered all their questions in spite of my many instructions to never answer goons questions).

After they had their egos stroked by my wife answering their questions they let me go (which they were going to do anyway because the goon said he got nothing on me).

I've had a long discussion with my wife and from now on she goes through ahead of me and after she's through I will go to the desk with some form of prepared statement on paper saying why I'm exercising my right to remain silent and why their own stupid "law" says their only duty is to "inspect and search" (which I will reluctantly allow to get through their goon point). I'm also planning to record the entire event even though they have signs up saying to can't and I will provide the supreme court ruling that says I can (once I find it).

Anyway, if any of you have references to laws and cites I can use in my prepared (border crossing statement) I'm all ears...

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkk!

You got more balls than me bro.

I would love to conduct myself as you did but when I'm placed in that situation (and I have been once or twice), I start "yes sir-ing no sir-ing" like a little bitch.

I'll be honest, I get scared $#@!less.

[fr33]

You don't actually read the threads you comment on, do you?

I sure do. You don't actually practice what you preach, do you? You didn't travel to foreign countries without a passport. You didn't do anything you suggested.