BUSY PRACTICING LIFESKILLS

[Suzanimal]

MY LIFESKILL FOR YESTERDAY WAS DRIVING AND SHOPPING.

I PICKED UP MAMA AND IT TOOK ME OVER 2 HOURS TO GET TO HER HOUSE. THE ONLY BAD TRAFFIC I HIT WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE BECAUSE THEY WERE DOING ROADWORK (I DIDN'T ACTUALLY SEE ANY ROAD WORKERS, JUST CLOSED LANES FOR NO REASON) AND THEY HAD THE SPEED LIMIT AT 35 AND COPS SITTING ABOUT A MILE APART HITTING PEOPLE WITH RADAR GUNS. THIRTY FIVE $#@!ING MILES AN HOUR!!! I SWEAR THROUGH THIS 15 MILE STRETCH THERE IS NOTHING. NO BUSINESSES, NO HOMES, NOTHING AND THE SPEED LIMIT IS 35?!!!

AFTER WE FINALLY GOT THERE WE HAD A BANNER TIME AT THE OUTLET. MAMA GOT 2 NEW JEANS SHE WANTED (EIGHTY'S ZIPPER ANKLE PANTS) AT WHBM AND A FEW NEW THINGS AT LOFT. I FOUND A SWEATER AT LOFT I WANTED IN THE SPRING BUT IT WAS 60.00 AND YESTERDAY, IT WAS 17.99 WITH AN EXTRA 40% OFF. PLUS, I SCORED A PAIR OF SWEET SHADES. I ALSO SAW A BULL KIDS RIDE AND JUMPED ON IT. I HAD MOM TAKE MY PIC BUT IT SUCKED BECAUSE SHE TOOK SO LONG TO TAKE IT AND WHEN SHE FINALLY DID, I WAS BITCHING ABOUT HER TAKING SO LONG AND LOST MY FUNNY POSE. I CONVINCED HER TO GET ON IT AND I TOOK HER PIC AND TEXTED IT TO A FEW PEOPLE. SHE TOLD ME I COULD IF I ALSO TEXTED MY PIC, I TOLD HER I TEXTED BOTH OF THEM BUT I DIDN'T. I ONLY TEXTED HERS. THAT WHAT SHE GETS FOR NOT MAKING ME HER FAVORITE CHILD AND FOR TAKING TOO LONG.

I WENT HOME A DIFFERENT WAY BECAUSE I HAD TO RUN BY THE LEGO STORE TO DO MY WONDER WOMAN ADULT BUILD. SHE'S AWESOME BUT HARD. I ALSO GOT THE WORKER WHO HELPED ME DO THE BUILD TO FEEL UP THE MINIFIG PACKS AND FIND ME A ROCKET BOY. MY SON WAS SAYING HE COULD DO IT BUT LAST TIME HE TRIED WE ENDED UP CORN MAN. HE'S COOL BUT I WAS GOING FOR THE ROCKET BOY.

OH, AND ON THE WAY FROM MY MOM'S TO THE LEGO STORE, THERE WAS ONE PATCH OF TRAFFIC THAT WAS REALLY BAD. I NOTICED EVERYONE WAS GETTING IN THE LEFT LANE AND THOUGHT MAYBE THERE WAS AN ACCIDENT OR A LANE CLOSURE. WHEN I SAW WHAT IT WAS, I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. THERE WAS A FANCY NEW BMW SUV DRIVING ON A FLAT TIRE WITH IT'S HAZARD LIGHTS ON IN THE RIGHT LANE. NOT JUST TO GET OUT OF THE ROAD, EITHER. WE WERE IN FRONT OF A SHOPPING AREA AND THERE WERE TONS OF PLACES TO PULL OFF THE ROAD. THIS GUY WAS JUST DRIVING ALONG ON HIS RIM. O_o I SAW HIM GO AT LEAST A 1/2 MILE ON THAT RIM BEFORE HE TURNED ON ANOTHER STREET AND I COULDN'T SEE HIM ANYMORE. I RECKON THAT'S GOING TO BE AN EXPENSIVE FLAT TIRE.

[Suzanimal]

LIFESKILLS

TAILGATING AND CONCERTING

TAILGATING WAS A SUCCESS. I NOTICED QUITE A FEW PEOPLE SHOWED UP EARLY (TO BEAT TRAFFIC) WITH NO FOOD OR COCKTAILS AND THERE'S NO PLACE IN WALKING DISTANCE TO BUY THEM. I TOLD MR ANIMAL IF I HAD KNOWN THERE'D BE SO MANY, I WOULD'VE SET UP A "LEMONADE" STAND.

I MADE SOME FRIENDS TAILGATING. JANE AND SCOTT. I TALKED TO JANE AT THE PORTA POTTIES AND FOUND OUT THEY DIDN'T HAVE CHAIRS SO I INVITED THEM TO OUR EXTRAS. I DIDN'T NOTICE SCOTT WAS MISSING A HAND RIGHT AWAY AND COULDN'T STOP LOOKING AT IT WHEN I FINALLY DID. IT APPEARED TO BE A BIRTH DEFECT BECAUSE HE HAD A LITTLE THUMB. HE WAS GOOD WITH THAT LITTLE THUMB, TOO. I SAW HIM OPEN HIS CAR DOOR WITH IT. IN MY DEFENSE, IT WAS HARD NOT TO LOOK AT IT BECAUSE HE WAS AN ANIMATED TALKER (I SUSPECT HE WAS ITALIAN) AND KEPT WAVING AROUND BECAUSE HE HAD TO HOLD HIS BEER WITH HIS GOOD HAND.

JOAN JETT WAS AWESOME. SHE OPENED FOR BOSTON. DON'T HATE ME FOR THIS BUT I DON'T CARE FOR BOSTON. FOR THE FIRST HALF OF THEIR SET, MR ANIMAL EXPLAINED HOW POPULAR THEY WERE BEFORE MY TIME AND ABOUT HOW THEY INVENTED SOME KIND OF FOOT PEDAL. HE SWORE I WOULD ENJOY THEM MORE WHEN THEY GOT TO THEIR MORE POPULAR SONGS. I COULDN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BECAUSE THEIR MUSIC ALL SOUNDS THE SAME TO ME. O_o ABOUT 10 MINUTES BEFORE THE SHOW WAS OVER, MR ANIMAL FINALLY AGREED ALL THE MUSIC SOUNDED THE SAME AND THOUGHT IT WOULD BE MORE FUN TO BEAT TRAFFIC THAN LISTEN TO ANOTHER BOSTON SONG.

I DID MEET THE GA BOOMHAUER AT THE SHOW. I DECIDED I WANTED A CIGARETTE AND SAW A MAN STANDING ALONE SO I WENT AND BUMMED ONE OFF OF HIM. USUALLY, IT'S AN ICEBREAKER AND I END UP MEETING SOMEONE FUN TO CHAT WITH. I LISTENED TO THIS GUY FOR 10 MINUTES AND I ONLY UNDERSTOOD 4 WORDS - JOURNEY, ASIA, IRON MAIDEN. I HAD NO IDEA WHAT THE $#@! WE WERE TALKING ABOUT. LUCKILY, HE SPOTTED HIS FRIEND, "HODOR" (I THINK THAT'S WHAT HE SAID) AND GAVE ME AN OUT. MR ANIMAL SHOWED UP JUST IN TIME TO HEAR SOME OF HIS GIBBERISH AND TOLD ME I DESERVED THE SOCIAL DISCOMFORT FOR BEING A BUM. I'M A SHAMELESS CIGARETTE BUM.

[Suzanimal]

LIFESKILL FOR TODAY - TETANUS SCARE

THE STORY STARTS ON MONDAY. I WAS CLEANING AND DECIDED TO REARRANGE THE SHELVING UNIT IN MY BEDROOM. WELL, THE SHELVES HAVE THESE LITTLE L BRACKETS AND TWO SCREWS. I'M TRYING TO GET IN THE SCREW ON THE BOTTOM OF THE SHELF (I'M SCREWING UPSIDE DOWN) AND THE SCREW WAS BEING A BITCH SO I'M PRESSING REALLY AND THE SCREWDRIVER SLIPS AND I STAB MYSELF IN THE FACE. I KNEW I WAS HURT BECAUSE I COULDN'T EVEN YELL. (MY MAMA USED TO SAY IF YOU CAN YELL, YOU MUST NOT BE TOO BADLY HURT) SERIOUSLY, I ALMOST LOST MY EYE. I ENDED UP WITH AN INCH CUT UNDER MY EYE AND A SHINER. I FREAKED OUT BECAUSE I DON'T WANT A SCAR AND THE INTERNET TELLS ME TO KEEP VASELINE ON IT TO PREVENT SCARRING. IT APPEARED TO BE HEALING SO I THINK I'M FINE.

YESTERDAY THE LYMPH NODES ON THE LEFT SIDE OF MY NECK GET REALLY SWOLLEN AND THE LEFT SIDE OF MY FACE SEEMED PUFFY SO I THINK I MAY HAVE A LITTLE SWIMMERS EAR OR SOMETHING GOING ON AND TAKE SOME ADVIL AND SOME EAR DROPS. WELL, THIS MORNING IT WAS WORSE AND MY EYE WAS HURTING. I'M THINKING MAYBE A SINUS INFECTION SO I CALL THE DOCTOR. HE LOOKS ME OVER AND SAYS MY EARS AND SINUSES ARE FINE BUT MY NODES ARE DEFINITELY SWOLLEN AND SOME GLANDS WERE SWOLLEN. THEN HE ASKED ABOUT MY CUT AND I TOLD HIM ABOUT THE SCREWDRIVER AND HE THINKS I HAVE THE BEGINNINGS OF AN INFECTION (HE SUSPECTED MY SCREWDRIVER WAS PRETTY DIRTY) AND NOTICES MY TETANUS IS OUTDATED. ANYWAY, HE GIVES ME A BOOSTER, AN ANTIBIOTIC, AND TELLS ME TO KEEP THE VASELINE OFF OF IT. HE SAYS IT CAN TRAP BACTERIA IN THE WOUND.

THE WORST PART IS - HE TELLS ME TO STAY OUT OF THE LAKE FOR A WEEK AND NO DRINKING. I'M SUPPOSE TO GO TOMORROW. I THINK I'LL GO TO THE OLD MAN BIRTHDAY PARTY AND IF I KEEP MY FACE OUT OF THE WATER, I SHOULD BE FINE. AS FAR AS THE DRINKING GOES, HE DIDN'T WANT ME DRINKING ON THE ANTIBIOTIC BUT WHEN I EXPLAINED THAT I PLANNED ON DRINKING SELECT 55 AND THAT IT TAKES 55 OF THEM TO GET A BUZZ, HE TOLD ME I COULD HAVE A FEW BUT NOT TO GET REMOTELY CLOSE TO 55.

BTW, I BOUGHT THE OLD MAN A CASE OF LITE, A HAIRBRUSH AND SHOWER CAP (HE'S BALD) AND GAVE HIM A FRAME WITH MY PIC IN IT. MY BROTHER GAVE EVERYONE A FRAMED 11 X 17 OF HIMSELF ONE YEAR FOR CHRISTMAS AND I THOUGHT THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY SO WHEN I'M NOT SURE WHAT TO GIVE PEOPLE. I JUST STICK A PIC OF MYSELF IN A FRAME. THEY USUALLY LAUGH.

[euphemia]

That BMW: New high-end cars don't come with spares. That's what people buy when they have more money than sense. Dude probably didn't buy the roadside package. Not smart.

[Anti Federalist]

LIFESKILL FOR TODAY - TETANUS SCARE.

THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR SCREWING UPSIDE DOWN!

[Suzanimal]

That BMW: New high-end cars don't come with spares. That's what people buy when they have more money than sense. Dude probably didn't buy the roadside package. Not smart.

WE HAVE A BMW. THEY MAY NOT BE SENSIBLE BUT I HAVE TO ADMIT, THEY'RE FUN AS HELL TO DRIVE.

[Suzanimal]

THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR SCREWING UPSIDE DOWN!

MR A SAID I SHOULD LEAVE THAT TO THE PROFESSIONALS.

[heavenlyboy34]

MR A SAID I SHOULD LEAVE THAT TO THE PROFESSIONALS.

MR ANIMAL IS RIGHT. TELL YOUR LADY FRIENDS THEIR HUSBANDS ARE ALWAYS RIGHT. WE NEED TO GET THIS INTO WOMENS' 'HEADS EN MASSE BEFORE I FIND A WIFE. IT'LL MAKE LIFE A LOT EASIER.

[heavenlyboy34]

LIFESKILL: BURPING. I ATE TOO FAST THIS MORNING AND GULPED SOME AIR. SO NOW I KEEP BURPING. KURWA.

[Suzanimal]

LIFESKILL: BURPING. I ATE TOO FAST THIS MORNING AND GULPED SOME AIR. SO NOW I KEEP BURPING. KURWA.

I CAN BURP THE ABC'S.

[heavenlyboy34]

I CAN BURP THE ABC'S.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE A HANDY LIFESKILL.I'M NOT NATURALLY GOOD AT BURPING LOUDOR ENUNCIATING WHILE BURPING, SO I'D APPRECIATE SOME ANIMALLESSONS TOGET IT. BOBBY CASTO WAS REALLY GOOD AT IT THO. EVERYONE WAS JEALOUS.

[Suzanimal]

THAT SOUNDS LIKE A HANDY LIFESKILL.I'M NOT NATURALLY GOOD AT BURPING LOUDOR ENUNCIATING WHILE BURPING, SO I'D APPRECIATE SOME ANIMALLESSONS TOGET IT. BOBBY CASTO WAS REALLY GOOD AT IT THO. EVERYONE WAS JEALOUS.

CAN'T BE TAUGHT. YOU HAVE TO BE BORN WITH THE GIFT. KINDA LIKE THE ABILITY TO MAKE FAKE ARM PIT FARTS AND WHISTLE WITH YOUR FINGERS IN YOUR MOUTH. I CAN'T DO EITHER OF THOSE.

[heavenlyboy34]

CAN'T BE TAUGHT. YOU HAVE TO BE BORN WITH THE GIFT. KINDA LIKE THE ABILITY TO MAKE FAKE ARM PIT FARTS AND WHISTLE WITH YOUR FINGERS IN YOUR MOUTH. I CAN'T DO EITHER OF THOSE.

OIC. I'M DECENT WITH ARMPIT FARTS, BUT NEVERCOULD DO THAT SORT OF WHISTLING. I'VE TRIED FOR SURE)

[Suzanimal]

LIFESKILL

I LOOKED FOR DANKE. LOTS OF HITS ON PINTEREST. I HAD NO IDEA HE WAS CRAFTY.

A DANKE WINE BOTTLE DECORATION.

[heavenlyboy34]

LIFESKILL

I LOOKED FOR DANKE. LOTS OF HITS ON PINTEREST. I HAD NO IDEA HE WAS CRAFTY.

A DANKE WINE BOTTLE DECORATION.

HIS NAME MEANS "THANK YOU" IN GERMAN, SO IT'S PRETTY POPULAR. THE PHRASE "DANKE FUR ALLES" MEANS "THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING".

[Suzanimal]

HIS NAME MEANS "THANK YOU" IN GERMAN, SO IT'S PRETTY POPULAR. THE PHRASE "DANKE FUR ALLES" MEANS "THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING".

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

[Anti Federalist]

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

SCREWGLE TRANSLATE IS USELESS.

THANKS FOR THE SUPERDUPER DIDDLING?

[heavenlyboy34]

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

They're mostly gibberish words-they mean the same as in English, except for Danke.

[heavenlyboy34]

WRT LIFESKILLS-CONTINUING WORK ON VECTOR HAIR ILLUSTRATION TOADY. IT'S A TRICKY ONE. THERE'S NO ONE WAY TO DO IT, SO I'M EXPERIMENTING A LOT. ALSO, PAYING BILLS.

[TheTexan]

They're mostly gibberish words-they mean the same as in English, except for Danke.

Diddl is a cartoon, presumably about diddling

[heavenlyboy34]

Diddl is a cartoon, presumably about diddling

Who'dathunkit?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diddl
Diddl

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


Diddl is a German comic strip created by German artist Thomas Goletz in 1990.^[1][2] Diddl is a white Jumping Mouse, with big ears^[3] and large pink-soled feet^[3] allowing him to jump large distances. Diddl and his friends are featured on various sorts of products such as stationery and collectibles, and also in a range of plush dolls and toys manufactured by Depesche.^[4]
In Austria, Diddl was a highly popular cartoon character, together with its host of characters.^[5]
List of characters[edit]

The series' characters reside in the fictional 'Cheesecakeland', where the soil, rocks and walls are made of cheese but otherwise seems very similar to Earth with deserts, rivers, and even a moon.

• Diddl: Main character of the series.
• Diddlina: Diddl's girlfriend, who is also a jumping mouse.
• Mimihops: A fox rabbit and friend of Diddl.
• Pimboli: A cuddly teddy bear and friend of Diddl.
• Ackaturbo: A raven and friend of Diddl.
• Bibombl: A setter and friend of Diddl.
• Milimits: A tigertail kitten and friend of Diddl.
• Tiplitaps: A turtle and friend of Diddl.
• Wollywell & Vanillivi: Two angora goats and friends of Diddl.
• Galupy: A horse and friend of Diddl.
• The Frog Brothers: Three frogs, who are the antagonists in the series.
• Simsaly: a fairy and friend of Diddlina; she also has a glow bee friend called Dimndamn

[Suzanimal]

SCREWGLE TRANSLATE IS USELESS.

THANKS FOR THE SUPERDUPER DIDDLING?

Diddl is a cartoon, presumably about diddling

DO YOU THINK DANKE IS SO SUPERDUPER AT DIDDLING THAT HE GETS THANK YOU CARDS? OR DO YOU THINK HE MAKES THEM HIMSELF AND POSTS THEM ON PINTEREST TO ATTRACT THE LADIES?

[Suzanimal]

LIFESKILL DARKNESS...

LOST POWER FOR AN HOUR LAST NIGHT. NO ONE HOME BUT ME AND THE DOGE. BY THE SOUND OF HIS SNORING, HE DIDN'T SEEM TO MIND. I PONDERED THE MEANING OF LIFE AND ATE THE LAST OF THE PEANUT BUTTER - TWO BIG SPOONS OF CREAMY AND ONE BIG SPOON PLUS A GOOD SCRAPING OF CRUNCHY. I HADN'T FIGURED OUT WHICH WAS PEANUT BETTER BEFORE POWER WAS RESTORED SO I ADDED BOTH TO MY GROCERY LIST AND DECIDED I WOULD CONDUCT A BLIND CRUNCHY VS CREAMY TASTE TEST ON A LATER DATE.

[heavenlyboy34]

LIFESKILL: TRYING TO PROVIDE THERAPY FOR THETEXAN. HE'S EVADING SO FAR. FEAR OF FACING HIS INNER SELF, I THINK.

[Suzanimal]

LIFESKILL

RUNNING ERRANDS. I'M POOPED. I HATE ERRANDS. I LIKE GOING PLACES BUT I HATE FEELING LIKE I HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE. ANYWAY, WE NEEDED FOOD AND I HAD TO RETURN SOME SHAMPOO I BOUGHT AT ULTA.

OH, THE BOYS DECIDED THEY WANTED A REAL HAIRSTYLE. MY HUSBAND IS FINE AT BUZZ CUTS BUT HE CAN'T REALLY BLEND THE BACK SO IT LOOKS LIKE THEY HAVE GOOFY BOWL CUTS HALF THE TIME. ANYWAY, THEY PICKED A BARBER SHOP IN TOWN AND ASKED ME TO GO WITH THEM TO HELP THEM DECIDE WHAT KIND OF CUT TO GET SO I DID. IT WAS SO CUTE. MY OLDEST EVEN GOT A SHAVE. HE THOUGHT IT WAS SOMETHING EVERY MAN SHOULD DO ONCE IN HIS LIFE. MY YOUNGEST (17) ASKED FOR A SHAVE AND THE BARBER JUST LOOKED AT ME AND GRINNED. THE KID HAS BARELY ANY FACIAL HAIR AND WHAT HE HAS IS SO WHITE, YA CAN'T EVEN SEE IT. HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE THE MILK MUSTACHE THING GOING ON, JUST A FEW BEARD LOOKING HAIRS AROUND HIS EARS.

THEY SAID THE PROFESSIONAL CUTS MADE THEM FEEL GROWN UP BUT THEY DIDN'T LIKE PAYING FOR IT. THE HAIRCUTS WERE 17.00 AND THE SHAVE WAS 25.00.

[euphemia]

DAY OFF LIFESKILL: DIY MANI PEDI AND FRANZIA MOSCATO. PAMPERING ALL. DAY. LONG.

[Suzanimal]

DAY OFF LIFESKILL: DIY MANI PEDI AND FRANZIA MOSCATO. PAMPERING ALL. DAY. LONG.

NICE. I JUST BOUGHT ONE OF THOSE BATTERY OPERATED CALLOUS SANDERS AND A FOOT BATH. I CAN'T WAIT TO TRY IT.

WHAT COLOR DID YOU PAINT YOUR TOES? MY FAVORITE COLOR IS A RED BY WET AND WILD. I'M SO AFRAID THEY'RE GOING TO DISCONTINUE IT, I'VE STOCKPILED LIKE 10 BOTTLES OF IT.

[heavenlyboy34]

LIFESKILL: HAGGLING WITH INSURANCE PEOPLE. APPARENTLY THE CHECK FOR MY DENTAL INSURANCE GOT LOST IN THE MAIL. I CALLED AND TOLD THE LADY I NEVER GOT MY CARD. SHE SAID SHE COULDN'T FIND THE FORM AND CHECK I MAILED A MONTH AGO. FFS. NOW I'VE GOT TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. :P ADULTING IS OFTEN NOT FUN, SUZ.

[Anti Federalist]

DO YOU THINK DANKE IS SO SUPERDUPER AT DIDDLING THAT HE GETS THANK YOU CARDS? OR DO YOU THINK HE MAKES THEM HIMSELF AND POSTS THEM ON PINTEREST TO ATTRACT THE LADIES?

POSTED ON GRINDR MAYBE...

[specsaregood]

At the night out cop event tonight, my boy was waiting in line while i watched from a bit away. A cop tried to give him a baseball card thing and asked him his name. He immediately replied, "i cant talk to you without my daddy.". He turned around and walked away over to me. lifeskillz he has them.