Ron Paul jokes

[Lauxa]

With the idea that at this point any publicity is good publicity, I'm starting this Ron Paul joke thread. I didn't write these, I got them from IMAO. Personally I don't think they are very funny, but we've gotta be able to laugh at ourselves, right? Maybe we can come up with some funnier ones...

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Ron Paul supporters are easy to recognize, their signature headgear, when properly applied also keeps fat from dripping on your grill and flaring up. Also his name is Barry.

Ron Paul supporters not only appear when his name is invoked 3 times, it drives them crazy, an admittedly short trip.

The Federal Reserve killed most of Ron Paul's supporters puppies.

If you're bitten by a Ron Paul supporter if you don't become one, you do become a carrier.

Where do Ron Paul supporters have their meetups? A house of mirrors.

Ron Paul supporters never get sick and can only be killed by decapitating them. There can be/is only one.

When Ron Paul returns to the Earth, his followers believe he will restore the constitution so well that the ink will smell wet and also miraculously restore the moat around America to its pre-civil war glory.

To a Ron Paul supporter the first 10 amendments to the U.S. Constitution are collectively known as the Bill of WRONGS!

Every time a bell rings a Ron Paul supporter get his mouth very salivated.

Ron Paul supporters think everyone who doesn't support him fears him like they fear getting abducted by aliens, again.

When the feces found in the U.S. Capital was determined to be Ron Paul's, his supporters were quick to hail it the best idea, anywhere, ever and also delicious.

If Ron Paul falls in a forest, his supporter(s) will claim it's because gravity is inherently unconstitutional.

Some claim Ron Paul supporters spam online polls, the truth is they just all have the same I.P. address because... Hey! LOOK kittens!

The most ardent of Ron Paul's followers think the US government is too big when it has more people than the secret number Ron Paul has written on his magic anti-alien hemp underpants.

[Dary]

I don't think any of those are funny, and you might not find this one funny either, but I'll give it a shot.

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How many Ron Paul supporters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

1 but with 81,390 twists of the wrist.

ba-bing!

[Dary]

Knock, knock...

Who’s there?

Ron.

Ron who?

Exactly.

[micahnelson]

q: How do you know you are in a room with a Ron Paul Supporter?

a: He'll Tell you.

[AZ Libertarian]

How can you tell when Ron Paul is lying?

Fox News says so!

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How can you identify a Ron Paul supporter?

Look for his name written on the elastic band.

[Dear Leader VI]

I hate to say this, but I think the best format for possible Ron Paul jokes would be in the 'Chuck Norris' style.

[Lauxa]

These are a result of a brainstorming session with me and my cousin. Some of them are pretty good.

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What's the difference between Abraham Lincoln and Ron Paul?
Abraham Lincoln has already been shot.

What's Ron Paul's favorite form of excercise?
An evening Constitutional.

Why does Ron Paul support the Constitution?
He remembers when it was signed.

Never trust a man with two first names.

The Congress Majority Leader, Minority Leader, and Ron Paul walk into a bar. The bartender says, "You guys look sad. What's the problem?"
The Majority Leader says, "I'm under inditement for laundering money."
The Minority Leader says, "I'm under inditement for taking corporate bribes."
Ron Paul says, "I'm poor."

Why did Ron Paul go to the NRA meeting topless?
To show his support for the right to bare arms.

What did Ron Paul say to the illegal immigrant?
Adios.

Ron Paul began thinking about the problems in America. First, he thought about our involvement in foreign wars and the loss of American lives overseas, and he cried a tear. Then, he thought about our loss of liberties at home, and he cried another tear. That's why he's called a second-tear candidate.

Why is Ron Paul in such good health at his age?
He has a strong Constitution.

Why didn't Ron Paul ever go to work while he was a Congressman?
He only read the first sentence in the Bill of Rights, "Congress shall pass no law." That being the case, he went home.

Why doesn't Ron Paul ever turn off the lights?
That kind of on-again/off-again policy is against his principles.

I asked Ron Paul what was 427 * 63 and he answered "States' rights."

[Dary]

What does John Edwards call heat damaged hair?

Blowback.

[Dary]

What did former Vice President Dick Cheney say to President Elect Ron Paul when he bumped into him at the Inauguration Ball?


Pardon me.

[Dary]

After serving his last day of his second term as President of the United States, Ron Paul dies and is met at the pearly gates by St. Peter.

St. Peter asks him, “What have you done in order to get into heaven?"

Ron Paul says, "Well I've restored the greatest republic on earth."

"Brought millions out of the grip of poverty."

"Established peace among nations."

"And prevented all out global nuclear war."

And St. Peter says, "No, I mean lately."

[Dary]

Only one man throughout history has ever gotten more respect than Ron Paul.

Rodney Dangerfield.

[OptionsTrader]

When Ron Paul returns to the Earth, his followers believe he will restore the constitution so well that the ink will smell wet and also miraculously restore the moat around America to its pre-civil war glory.

Some panelists agree

Panelists discuss the need to protect America's borders with a moat
(satire of course)
http://www.theonion.com/content/vide...w_the_u_s_moat

[Matt Collins]

SEE THIS THREAD:
http://www.ronpaulforums.com/showthread.php?t=27545






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[Cinci4RP]

What did former Vice President Dick Cheney say to President Elect Ron Paul when he bumped into him at the Inauguration Ball?


Pardon me.

The only one here that made me laugh