Sir Mitch de Hedberg - Gen X generation

[Ronin Truth]

"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too." -- Mitch Hedberg

[SilentBull]

I miss that guy.

[roho76]

"This shirt is dry clean only which means, it's dirty." - Mitch Hedberg

[SilentBull]

"Rice is great when you're really hungry and you want 2,000 of something".

[roho76]

"If you ever find yourself lost in the woods, $#@! it, build a house. I was lost, now I live here." - Mitch Hedberg

[fisharmor]

You know they call corn-on-the-cob "corn-on-the-cob," right? But that's how it comes out of the ground, man. They should call that "corn", and they should call every other version "corn-off-the-cob." It's not like if you cut off my arm you would call my arm "Mitch", but then reattach it and call it "Mitch-all-together."

[fisharmor]

I hope the next time I move I get a real easy phone number, something that's real easy to remember. Something like two two two two two two two. I would say "Sweet." And then people would say "Mitch, how do I get a hold of you?" I'd say "Just press two for a while and when I answer, you will know you have pressed two enough."

[fisharmor]

I think Pringles' original intention was to make tennis balls... But on the day the rubber was supposed to show up, a truckload of potatoes came. Pringles is a laid-back company, so they just said "$#@! it, cut em up!"

[SilentBull]

They said you can have this product for 4 easy payments for 19.95. I would like to have a product that is available for 3 easy payments and 1 complicated payment. "We're not gonna tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is gonna be haaarrd."