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Thread: Sir Rodney de Dangerfield

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    Default Sir Rodney de Dangerfield

    "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." -- Rodney Dangerfield



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    "I tell you, with my doctor, I don't get no respect. I told him, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills." He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest."

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    "My wife likes to talk to me during sex. Last night, she called me from a motel room ..."

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    "I came from a real tough neighborhood. I bought a waterbed and found a guy at the bottom of it."

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    I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.

    I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

    I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.

    I knew a girl so ugly, the last time I saw a mouth like hers it had a hook on the end of it.

    I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint--a Saint Bernard!
    -- Rodney Dangerfield

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    "I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap."

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    "I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!" -- Rodney Dangerfield



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  11. #9

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    "People say fish is good for a diet. But fish should never be cooked in butter. Fish should be cooked in its natural oils - Texaco, Mobil, Exxon..."

    "My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."

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    'I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer." ' -- Rodney Dangerfield

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    "One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida." -- Rodney Dangerfield

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    "My mother never breastfed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend" ~ Rodney Dangerfield
    Quote Originally Posted by Ron Paul View Post
    The intellectual battle for liberty can appear to be a lonely one at times. However, the numbers are not as important as the principles that we hold. Leonard Read always taught that "it's not a numbers game, but an ideological game." That's why it's important to continue to provide a principled philosophy as to what the role of government ought to be, despite the numbers that stare us in the face.

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    "I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!" -- Rodney Dangerfield

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    I came from a poor family. At Christmas time we used to exchange glances. - Rodney Dangerfield
    go small or go home
    Taxation is Theft

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    Cute stuff. I always found him funny.

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    'When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could...but he pulled through." ' -- Rodney Dangerfield



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  20. #17

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    'A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home!' -- Rodney Dangerfield

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    "My mother had morning sickness after I was born." -- Rodney Dangerfield

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    'Once when I was lost I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid. There are so many places they can hide." ' -- Rodney Dangerfield

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    "I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement, and felt another hand!"

    "I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met you yet."

    "When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them."

    "I found out there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people."

    "When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother."

    "A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."

    - Rodney Dangerfield

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    Hollywood gold. RIP, Sam.



    Sam Kinison got his big break on Rodney Dangerfield's Ninth Annual Young Comedians Special in the summer of 1985.

    Last edited by wizardwatson; 08-13-2015 at 04:39 PM.

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    "A hooker once told me she had a headache." -- Rodney Dangerfield

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    "Last week I saw my psychiatrist. I told him, "Doc, I keep thinking I'm a dog." He told me to get off his couch." -- Rodney Dangerfield

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    "My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday." -- Rodney Dangerfield



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  29. #25

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    15 Educational Facts About 'Back to School'
    By Roger Cormier
    Mental Floss
    June 15, 2016

    No one expected Back to School to be a hit. But the Rodney Dangerfield comedy—which saw the legendary comedian starring as Thornton Melon, a self-made millionaire who attends Grand Lakes University with his son, Jason, and becomes the most popular man on campus—ended up becoming the second highest-grossing comedy of 1986 (only Crocodile Dundee made more). To celebrate its 30th anniversary, here are some facts about the only film that ever dared to pair Dangerfield with Robert Downey Jr., Sam Kinison, and Kurt Vonnegut.

    1. HAROLD RAMIS MADE A KEY REWRITE.

    In the original draft of the script, Thornton still tries to motivate Jason by attending his college, but he was a “poor schmo.” It was Harold Ramis who suggested it would be a funnier movie if Thornton were rich. Dangerfield convinced Orion Pictures to delay production and hire Ramis to rewrite the script.

    2. JIM CARREY WAS CONSIDERED FOR SAM KINISON’S ROLE.

    Jim Carrey was eventually deemed too young to play Professor Terguson. Years later, producer Chuck Russell remembered Carrey when he was tasked with directing The Mask(1994).

    3. IT WAS THE FIRST TIME WILLIAM ZABKA REALIZED HE MIGHT BE GETTING TYPECAST AS A VILLAIN.

    When William Zabka—who played Johnny Lawrence in The Karate Kid and Greg Tolan in Just One of the Guys—landed the part of Chas in Back to School, he started to notice a pattern forming. “When Back To School came around, that was the first time I thought, ‘Hey, wait a minute. This is starting to happen too much,'” he said.

    4. ROBERT DOWNEY JR. WAS SHOOTING SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE AT THE SAME TIME.

    The then 20-year-old actor burned the candle at both ends then. He told Rolling Stone, “I’d fly back to Los Angeles for a couple of days during the week to shoot the movie and then fly back and, ‘Live, From New York, It’s a Tired Young Man!'”

    5. SALLY KELLERMAN ONLY KNEW RODNEY DANGERFIELD FROM HIS BEER COMMERCIALS.

    Sally Kellerman admitted to Orange Coast Magazine in November 1986 that she “didn’t really know who Rodney Dangerfield was,” only having seen him in his Miller Lite commercials. Therefore she “wasn’t just flipped out of my mind at being the woman who lifts him up. I thought, ‘Oh, whoopee! You’re going to get to play his love interest.’ Ye gods, I knew I’d made it.” But the two got along. “The second day we met, he said, ‘Did you change your hair?’ And I said, ‘No, did you?’ After that I liked him so much. He’s such an odd guy.”

    ...
    https://www.lewrockwell.com/2016/06/...t-dangerfield/
    Quote Originally Posted by Ron Paul View Post
    The intellectual battle for liberty can appear to be a lonely one at times. However, the numbers are not as important as the principles that we hold. Leonard Read always taught that "it's not a numbers game, but an ideological game." That's why it's important to continue to provide a principled philosophy as to what the role of government ought to be, despite the numbers that stare us in the face.

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    I get no respect, last time I looked up my family tree there was a dog peeeing on it.
    Quote Originally Posted by TheCount View Post
    Drudge is a traitor to the Leader and the Revolution.



    Quiz: Test Your "Income" Tax IQ!


    Short Income Tax Video

    The Income Tax Is An Excise, And Excise Taxes Are Privilege Taxes

    The Federalist Papers, No. 15:

    Except as to the rule of appointment, the United States have an indefinite discretion to make requisitions for men and money; but they have no authority to raise either by regulations extending to the individual citizens of America.

  31. #27

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ron Paul View Post
    The intellectual battle for liberty can appear to be a lonely one at times. However, the numbers are not as important as the principles that we hold. Leonard Read always taught that "it's not a numbers game, but an ideological game." That's why it's important to continue to provide a principled philosophy as to what the role of government ought to be, despite the numbers that stare us in the face.

  32. #28

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    One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy...why are you doing that for?"
    He said, "Because you came home early."
    go small or go home
    Taxation is Theft

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    Last week I told my wife, "If you would learn to cook, I could fire the chef." She said, "If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer."

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    I was tired one night and I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, "What'll you have?" I said, "Surprise me." He showed me a naked picture of my wife.

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