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Thread: Stratford man accused of performing sex act with shrubbery

  1. #1

    Stratford man accused of performing sex act with shrubbery

    http://wtnh.com/2015/07/29/stratford...ith-shrubbery/





    STRATFORD, Conn. (AP) — An 81-year-old Stratford man has been charged with public indecency, accused of performing a sex act with some shrubbery.
    Police tell the Connecticut Post they arrested Wallace Berg Monday after a neighbor showed them a video he took of a naked Berg in the bushes outside Berg’s home.
    Police say the neighbor told them he confronted Berg who then stopped the indecent behavior, covered himself with a grill cover, apologized and went into his house.
    Berg was charged with public indecency and second-degree breach of peace. He was released after posting a $10,000 bond and is due in Superior Court on Aug. 5.
    He did not immediately return a phone call Wednesday from the Associated Press seeking comment.



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  3. #2
    Wrong bush dude!

  4. #3

  5. #4

  6. #5

  7. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by tod evans View Post
    What an attractive bush!

  8. #7
    An 81-year-old Stratford man has been charged with public indecency, accused of performing a sex act with some shrubbery.
    Poor guy. Probably got it up and went for the first bush he saw.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ron Paul View Post
    The intellectual battle for liberty can appear to be a lonely one at times. However, the numbers are not as important as the principles that we hold. Leonard Read always taught that "it's not a numbers game, but an ideological game." That's why it's important to continue to provide a principled philosophy as to what the role of government ought to be, despite the numbers that stare us in the face.
    Quote Originally Posted by Origanalist View Post
    This intellectually stimulating conversation is the reason I keep coming here.

  9. #8



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  11. #9

  12. #10

  13. #11
    This isn't about sex.

    You see, ever since Wallace Berg was a young lad he has had a brown thumb. When his primary school grew wheat grass for a class project, everybody else's wheat grass seemed to grow just fine and his failed not long after sprouting. He saw this as a challenge and decided to educate himself in the field of botany. Despite his extensive education into growing plants, Wallace Berg was never quite able to successfully grow anything and he eventually dropped out his college botany program and became a plumber. He moved into a condo where his plants would be taken care of by profesionals.

    In his old age, Wallace Berg moved to a new condominium complex with a small private yard. He had seen countless peers successfully tend to their gardens and shrubberies over the years, so he decided to buy a greenhouse for his backyard and again try his hand at growing a few herbs and flowers.

    After years of aphid attacks, mildew attacks, various deficiencies resulting from under and over fertilization and watering, Wallace Berg set his greenhouse on fire. This happened before the night of the shrubbery incident.

    So as you can see, this had nothing to do with sex. Wallace Berg wished to be able to control plants. You see, this is all about a psychological need for control.
    "He's talkin' to his gut like it's a person!!" -me
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    "Paul said "the wave of the future" is a coalition of anti-authoritarian progressive Democrats and libertarian Republicans in Congress opposed to domestic surveillance, opposed to starting new wars and in favor of ending the so-called War on Drugs."

  14. #12
    I just came here to make sure an obligatory Monty Python reference had been made.

    Quote Originally Posted by Terry1 View Post
    Good job, RPFs! Carry on ...
    The Bastiat Collection · FREE PDF · FREE EPUB · PAPER
    Frédéric Bastiat (1801-1850)

    • "When law and morality are in contradiction to each other, the citizen finds himself in the cruel alternative of either losing his moral sense, or of losing his respect for the law."
      -- The Law (p. 54)
    • "Government is that great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else."
      -- Government (p. 99)
    • "[W]ar is always begun in the interest of the few, and at the expense of the many."
      -- Economic Sophisms - Second Series (p. 312)
    • "There are two principles that can never be reconciled - Liberty and Constraint."
      -- Harmonies of Political Economy - Book One (p. 447)

    · tu ne cede malis sed contra audentior ito ·

  15. #13

  16. #14
    Well, it was his bush, what are they upset about?

  17. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.3D View Post
    Well, it was his bush, what are they upset about?
    How about if it was his sunglasses wearing giraffe?

  18. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by Ronin Truth View Post
    How about if it was his sunglasses wearing giraffe?
    Did the bush complain?



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  20. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.3D View Post
    Did the bush complain?
    Probably just about as loud as the giraffe would. Of course, the guy would probably have to have his friends put him up to it.

  21. #18
    Now they have laws against sex with shrubbery? Where is it all going to end????
    "The Patriarch"

  22. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by Origanalist View Post
    Now they have laws against sex with shrubbery? Where is it all going to end????
    It's gettin' to where you can't have sex with anything.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ron Paul View Post
    The intellectual battle for liberty can appear to be a lonely one at times. However, the numbers are not as important as the principles that we hold. Leonard Read always taught that "it's not a numbers game, but an ideological game." That's why it's important to continue to provide a principled philosophy as to what the role of government ought to be, despite the numbers that stare us in the face.
    Quote Originally Posted by Origanalist View Post
    This intellectually stimulating conversation is the reason I keep coming here.

  23. #20
    Maybe the neighbor was upset he wasn't trying to have sex with him.

  24. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.3D View Post
    Maybe the neighbor was upset he wasn't trying to have sex with him.
    Possibly. It did say he (or she) was video taping him molesting the shrubbery before calling the po-po.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ron Paul View Post
    The intellectual battle for liberty can appear to be a lonely one at times. However, the numbers are not as important as the principles that we hold. Leonard Read always taught that "it's not a numbers game, but an ideological game." That's why it's important to continue to provide a principled philosophy as to what the role of government ought to be, despite the numbers that stare us in the face.
    Quote Originally Posted by Origanalist View Post
    This intellectually stimulating conversation is the reason I keep coming here.

  25. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by Terry1 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Occam's Banana View Post
    I just came here to make sure an obligatory Monty Python reference had been made.



    Good job, RPFs! Carry on ...
    Quote Originally Posted by Ronin Truth View Post
    Ni!
    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.... I am too late.

    YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELLED OF ELDERBERRIES!!!!!
    Today I decided to get banned and spam activism on this forum...

    SUPPORT RANDPAULDIGITAL GRASSROOTS PROJECTS TODAY!

    http://i.imgur.com/SORJlQ5.png

    For more info. or to help spread the word, go to the promotion thread here.



    Quote Originally Posted by orenbus View Post
    If I had to answer this question truthfully I'd probably piss a lot of people off lol, Barrex would be a better person to ask he doesn't seem to care lol.


  26. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by Barrex View Post
    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.... I am too late.

    YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELLED OF ELDERBERRIES!!!!!
    I fart in your general direction.

  27. #24
    Quote Originally Posted by Barrex View Post
    YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELLED OF ELDERBERRIES!!!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.3D View Post
    I fart in your general direction.
    I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy-leather, second-hand, electric donkey bottom biters!

    Last edited by Occam's Banana; 07-29-2015 at 04:01 PM.



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  29. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by Occam's Banana View Post
    I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy-leather, second-hand, electric donkey bottom biters!

    Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King", and all your silly English Knnnnigits!
    Quote Originally Posted by Torchbearer
    what works can never be discussed online. there is only one language the government understands, and until the people start speaking it by the magazine full... things will remain the same.
    Hear/buy my music here "government is the enemy of liberty"-RP Support me on Patreon here Ephesians 6:12

  30. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by dannno View Post
    This isn't about sex.

    You see, ever since Wallace Berg was a young lad he has had a brown thumb. When his primary school grew wheat grass for a class project, everybody else's wheat grass seemed to grow just fine and his failed not long after sprouting. He saw this as a challenge and decided to educate himself in the field of botany. Despite his extensive education into growing plants, Wallace Berg was never quite able to successfully grow anything and he eventually dropped out his college botany program and became a plumber. He moved into a condo where his plants would be taken care of by profesionals.

    In his old age, Wallace Berg moved to a new condominium complex with a small private yard. He had seen countless peers successfully tend to their gardens and shrubberies over the years, so he decided to buy a greenhouse for his backyard and again try his hand at growing a few herbs and flowers.

    After years of aphid attacks, mildew attacks, various deficiencies resulting from under and over fertilization and watering, Wallace Berg set his greenhouse on fire. This happened before the night of the shrubbery incident.

    So as you can see, this had nothing to do with sex. Wallace Berg wished to be able to control plants. You see, this is all about a psychological need for control.
    No in this case he's just a freaking nutcase.

  31. #27

  32. #28
    Quote Originally Posted by satchelmcqueen View Post
    i like them with no leaves!
    Go north sir, most have no leaves in the winter.

  33. #29
    He probably identifies as a bush. Why all the hate?

  34. #30
    Just leave the cilantro alone..it has enough problems.

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