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Thread: "Yo mama's so statist" jokes

  1. #1

    "Yo mama's so statist" jokes

    LOL

    http://wendymcelroy.com/news.php?extend.6224

    --Yo mama's so statist she wouldn't let you play with Legos without getting a building permit.
    --Yo mama's so statist she broke her own windows to stimulate the economy.
    --Yo mama's so statist you went to summer camp at FEMA.
    --Yo mama's so statist, she grounded you whenever the neighbor's kid got in trouble.
    --Yo mama's so statist she organized the Home School Teachers Union.
    --Yo mama's so statist, she wire taps the baby monitor.
    --Yo mama's so statist, she requires an environmental impact survey before you can build a sandcastle.
    --Yo mama's so statist your allowance is used to pay property tax on your Fisher Price My 1st Farm.
    --Yo mama's so statist she cancelled her own health plan to enroll in Obamacare.
    --Yo mama's so statist that she taxes your allowance so she can pay down the debt on the loan she took out to pay you an allowance.
    --Yo mama's so statist she went and got her breast milk approved by the government before feeding you
    --Yo mama's so statist she bombs her neighbors because they envy her freedom
    --Yo mama's so statist she named you Lehman and your brother Freddie Mac.
    Based on the idea of natural rights, government secures those rights to the individual by strictly negative intervention, making justice costless and easy of access; and beyond that it does not go. The State, on the other hand, both in its genesis and by its primary intention, is purely anti-social. It is not based on the idea of natural rights, but on the idea that the individual has no rights except those that the State may provisionally grant him. It has always made justice costly and difficult of access, and has invariably held itself above justice and common morality whenever it could advantage itself by so doing.
    --Albert J. Nock



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  3. #2
    Hahaha, those are great! +rep

  4. #3

  5. #4

  6. #5
    Yo mama's so statist she called the cops when you refused to wipe your own ass.
    Yo mama's so statist she canceled her cellphone to get an obama phone.
    Yo mama's so statist she bcc's the NSA when she sends you email.
    Yo mama's so statist she's got a mini quadrotor drone that follows you around.

    'We endorse the idea of voluntarism; self-responsibility: Family, friends, and churches to solve problems, rather than saying that some monolithic government is going to make you take care of yourself and be a better person. It's a preposterous notion: It never worked, it never will. The government can't make you a better person; it can't make you follow good habits.' - Ron Paul 1988

    Awareness is the Root of Liberation Revolution is Action upon Revelation

    'Resistance and Disobedience in Economic Activity is the Most Moral Human Action Possible' - SEK3

    Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo.

    ...the familiar ritual of institutional self-absolution...
    ...for protecting them, by mock trial, from punishment...


  7. #6
    Yo mama's so statist she makes you redeem meal vouchers for dinner.
    Yo mama's so statist she only hires licensed baby sitters.
    Yo mama's so statist she confiscated your Halloween candy as contraband.
    Yo mama's so statist she requires Santa to have a chimney sweep permit.

    'We endorse the idea of voluntarism; self-responsibility: Family, friends, and churches to solve problems, rather than saying that some monolithic government is going to make you take care of yourself and be a better person. It's a preposterous notion: It never worked, it never will. The government can't make you a better person; it can't make you follow good habits.' - Ron Paul 1988

    Awareness is the Root of Liberation Revolution is Action upon Revelation

    'Resistance and Disobedience in Economic Activity is the Most Moral Human Action Possible' - SEK3

    Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo.

    ...the familiar ritual of institutional self-absolution...
    ...for protecting them, by mock trial, from punishment...


  8. #7
    Yo mama's so statist she makes you pay taxes on your lemonade stand.

    Yo mama's so statist she makes you get a fishing license for your backyard pond.

    Yo mama's so statist she makes you get bonded & insured before climbing a tree.
    Few men have virtue enough to withstand the highest bidder. ~GEORGE WASHINGTON, letter, Aug. 17, 1779

    Quit yer b*tching and whining and GET INVOLVED!!

  9. #8
    LOL Well done! Reps all around.
    Based on the idea of natural rights, government secures those rights to the individual by strictly negative intervention, making justice costless and easy of access; and beyond that it does not go. The State, on the other hand, both in its genesis and by its primary intention, is purely anti-social. It is not based on the idea of natural rights, but on the idea that the individual has no rights except those that the State may provisionally grant him. It has always made justice costly and difficult of access, and has invariably held itself above justice and common morality whenever it could advantage itself by so doing.
    --Albert J. Nock



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  11. #9
    Yo mamas so statist' she voted a straight party ticket. For both parties.

  12. #10
    Yo mama's so statist she took a 20% cut of your breast milk.
    Yo mama's so statist she charged an environmental impact fee to change your diaper.
    Yo mama's so statist she required a seat belt in your walker.
    Yo mama's so statist she uses the closet to keep your friends in solitary confinement.
    Yo mama's so statist she promises not to spank you if you eat your meat.

    'We endorse the idea of voluntarism; self-responsibility: Family, friends, and churches to solve problems, rather than saying that some monolithic government is going to make you take care of yourself and be a better person. It's a preposterous notion: It never worked, it never will. The government can't make you a better person; it can't make you follow good habits.' - Ron Paul 1988

    Awareness is the Root of Liberation Revolution is Action upon Revelation

    'Resistance and Disobedience in Economic Activity is the Most Moral Human Action Possible' - SEK3

    Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo.

    ...the familiar ritual of institutional self-absolution...
    ...for protecting them, by mock trial, from punishment...


  13. #11
    Yo mama's so statist she banned 20oz baby bottles.
    Yo mama's so statist she posted a speed limit for your R/C car.
    Yo mama's so statist she checks your blood sugar when you come home from a friends house.
    Yo mama's so statist she reported statutory rape after your first kiss.
    Yo mama's so statist she had you booked for forgery when you plagarized your homework.
    Last edited by presence; 12-08-2014 at 01:06 PM.

    'We endorse the idea of voluntarism; self-responsibility: Family, friends, and churches to solve problems, rather than saying that some monolithic government is going to make you take care of yourself and be a better person. It's a preposterous notion: It never worked, it never will. The government can't make you a better person; it can't make you follow good habits.' - Ron Paul 1988

    Awareness is the Root of Liberation Revolution is Action upon Revelation

    'Resistance and Disobedience in Economic Activity is the Most Moral Human Action Possible' - SEK3

    Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo.

    ...the familiar ritual of institutional self-absolution...
    ...for protecting them, by mock trial, from punishment...


  14. #12
    Yo mama's so statist she garnished your allowance to pay for the new puppy's food.
    Yo mama's so statist you're sitting in your room for contempt-of-mom
    Yo mama's so statist she made you lease a camp site when you pitched a tent in the back yard.
    Yo mama's so statist you have to get your report card notarized.

    'We endorse the idea of voluntarism; self-responsibility: Family, friends, and churches to solve problems, rather than saying that some monolithic government is going to make you take care of yourself and be a better person. It's a preposterous notion: It never worked, it never will. The government can't make you a better person; it can't make you follow good habits.' - Ron Paul 1988

    Awareness is the Root of Liberation Revolution is Action upon Revelation

    'Resistance and Disobedience in Economic Activity is the Most Moral Human Action Possible' - SEK3

    Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo.

    ...the familiar ritual of institutional self-absolution...
    ...for protecting them, by mock trial, from punishment...


  15. #13
    LOL You are on a roll, presence! And they're all funny!

    Based on the idea of natural rights, government secures those rights to the individual by strictly negative intervention, making justice costless and easy of access; and beyond that it does not go. The State, on the other hand, both in its genesis and by its primary intention, is purely anti-social. It is not based on the idea of natural rights, but on the idea that the individual has no rights except those that the State may provisionally grant him. It has always made justice costly and difficult of access, and has invariably held itself above justice and common morality whenever it could advantage itself by so doing.
    --Albert J. Nock

  16. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by Lucille View Post
    LOL You are on a roll, presence! And they're all funny!
    I had a tough up bringin'

    'We endorse the idea of voluntarism; self-responsibility: Family, friends, and churches to solve problems, rather than saying that some monolithic government is going to make you take care of yourself and be a better person. It's a preposterous notion: It never worked, it never will. The government can't make you a better person; it can't make you follow good habits.' - Ron Paul 1988

    Awareness is the Root of Liberation Revolution is Action upon Revelation

    'Resistance and Disobedience in Economic Activity is the Most Moral Human Action Possible' - SEK3

    Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo.

    ...the familiar ritual of institutional self-absolution...
    ...for protecting them, by mock trial, from punishment...


  17. #15
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    Yo mama's so statist she threw a flashbang at yo crib.
    Yo mama's so statist she reported yo ass for pot possession when you were cooking a stew.
    Yo mama's so statist she grounded yo ass and called it border security.

  18. #16
    I hate yo mamma jokes
    Quote Originally Posted by dannno View Post
    It's a balance between appeasing his supporters, appeasing the deep state and reaching his own goals.
    ~Resident Badgiraffe






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  20. #17
    --Yo mama's so statist, she grounded you whenever the neighbor's kid got in trouble.
    OK, where is this one coming from? I'm feeling stupid today, but I'm not sure I get it. Is this a reference to Tom Cotton?

    Good jokes all the way around, guys.
    This post represents only the opinions of Christian Liberty and not the rest of the forum. Use discretion when reading

  21. #18
    --Yo mama's so statist, she grounded you whenever the neighbor's kid got in trouble.

    Quote Originally Posted by FreedomFanatic View Post
    OK, where is this one coming from? I'm feeling stupid today, but I'm not sure I get it. Is this a reference to Tom Cotton?
    Historically, occupying powers have used collective punishment to retaliate against and deter attacks on their forces by resistance movements (e.g. destroying entire towns and villages where such attacks have occurred).
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collective_punishment

    http://www.ipsnews.net/2006/09/iraq-...ve-punishment/
    U.S. forces are taking to collective punishment of civilians in several cities across the al-Anabar province west of Baghdad, residents and officials say.

    “Ramadi, the capital of al-Anbar province, is still living with the daily terror of its people getting killed by snipers and its infrastructure being destroyed,” Ahmad, a local doctor who withheld his last name for security purposes told IPS. “This city has been facing the worst of the American terror and destruction for more than two years now, and the world is silent.”

    Destroying infrastructure and cutting water and electricity “for days and even weeks is routine reaction to the resistance,” he said. “Guys of the resistance do not need water and electricity, it’s the families that are being harmed, and their lives which are at stake.”

    Students and professors at the University of al-Anbar told IPS that their campus is under frequent attack.

    “Nearly every week we face raids by the Americans or their Iraqi colleagues,” a professor speaking on condition of anonymity told IPS. Students said that U.S. troops occupied their school last week..

    “We’ve been under great pressure from the Americans since the very first days of their occupation of Iraq,” a student told IPS.

    Such raids are being reported all over Ramadi. “The infrastructure destruction is huge around the governorate building in downtown Ramadi,” said a 24-year-old student who gave his name as Ali al-Ani. “And they are destroying the market too.”
    Last edited by presence; 12-08-2014 at 02:39 PM.

    'We endorse the idea of voluntarism; self-responsibility: Family, friends, and churches to solve problems, rather than saying that some monolithic government is going to make you take care of yourself and be a better person. It's a preposterous notion: It never worked, it never will. The government can't make you a better person; it can't make you follow good habits.' - Ron Paul 1988

    Awareness is the Root of Liberation Revolution is Action upon Revelation

    'Resistance and Disobedience in Economic Activity is the Most Moral Human Action Possible' - SEK3

    Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo.

    ...the familiar ritual of institutional self-absolution...
    ...for protecting them, by mock trial, from punishment...


  22. #19
    Wow... this is good stuff to know. How do neocons still get away with the lie that "the Iraqis want us there" exactly????
    This post represents only the opinions of Christian Liberty and not the rest of the forum. Use discretion when reading

  23. #20
    bump... we need more!
    Few men have virtue enough to withstand the highest bidder. ~GEORGE WASHINGTON, letter, Aug. 17, 1779

    Quit yer b*tching and whining and GET INVOLVED!!

  24. #21
    Yo Yo Ma's a statist? Learn something new everyday.

  25. #22
    Yo mama's so statist she hung a stop sign on the way out of your bedroom door.

    http://mises.org/library/stop-signs-and-liberty

    'We endorse the idea of voluntarism; self-responsibility: Family, friends, and churches to solve problems, rather than saying that some monolithic government is going to make you take care of yourself and be a better person. It's a preposterous notion: It never worked, it never will. The government can't make you a better person; it can't make you follow good habits.' - Ron Paul 1988

    Awareness is the Root of Liberation Revolution is Action upon Revelation

    'Resistance and Disobedience in Economic Activity is the Most Moral Human Action Possible' - SEK3

    Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo.

    ...the familiar ritual of institutional self-absolution...
    ...for protecting them, by mock trial, from punishment...


  26. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by Lucille View Post
    Keeping these FOR-EV-ER!
    There are only two things we should fight for. One is the defense of our homes and the other is the Bill of Rights. War for any other reason is simply a racket.
    -Major General Smedley Butler, USMC,
    Two-Time Congressional Medal of Honor Winner
    Author of, War is a Racket!

    It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours.
    - Diogenes of Sinope

  27. #24
    Your momma's so statist, she set up a snack advisory committee to study the feasibility of various after-school convenience food options. Their findings are expected out in sometime after the 2020 elections.

    They will be heavily redacted.



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  29. #25
    Yo mama's so statist she made you mount catalytic converters on your electric trains.
    Quote Originally Posted by Swordsmyth View Post
    We believe our lying eyes...

  30. #26
    Your momma's so statist, she fined you for not keeping your bubble solution in a locked cabinet.

    Your momma's so statist, she installed back-up alarms on your roller blades.

  31. #27
    Yo mama's so statist she enforces a speed limit in the hallway.
    Yo mama's so statist she burned all your books because one of 'em had a woman on the cover.
    Yo mama's so statist she trashed your room because the cat peed on the carpet.
    "And now that the legislators and do-gooders have so futilely inflicted so many systems upon society, may they finally end where they should have begun: May they reject all systems, and try liberty; for liberty is an acknowledgment of faith in God and His works." - Bastiat

    "It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere." - Voltaire

  32. #28
    Yo momma's so statist she wears combat boots ...
    The Bastiat Collection ˇ FREE PDF ˇ FREE EPUB ˇ PAPER
    Frédéric Bastiat (1801-1850)

    • "When law and morality are in contradiction to each other, the citizen finds himself in the cruel alternative of either losing his moral sense, or of losing his respect for the law."
      -- The Law (p. 54)
    • "Government is that great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else."
      -- Government (p. 99)
    • "[W]ar is always begun in the interest of the few, and at the expense of the many."
      -- Economic Sophisms - Second Series (p. 312)
    • "There are two principles that can never be reconciled - Liberty and Constraint."
      -- Harmonies of Political Economy - Book One (p. 447)

    ˇ tu ne cede malis sed contra audentior ito ˇ

  33. #29
    These are going around my FB groups.


  34. #30
    Quote Originally Posted by presence View Post
    Yo mama's so statist she called the cops when you refused to wipe your own ass.
    Quote Originally Posted by acptulsa
    Liberty works best not because liberty is without responsibility, but because responsibility is part of the deal. Capitalism works best not because capitalists love us and want us to be happy, but because the more government you have, the more government they can buy, and if they have no government to buy then all they can do instead is compete--compete to serve us better.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ron Paul
    (╯°□°)╯︵ ʇɔɐ ʇoıɹʇɐd
    I heart BTC! - 1AesnP1c7wyjzJhaKZajkixo9tthZRQzjB

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