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Thread: It is gonna be a cold winter.

  1. #1

    Default It is gonna be a cold winter.

    This fall the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief Oyarde if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

    Since he was a chief in a modern society, he’d never learned the old tribal secrets. He couldn’t look at the sky to predict what the winter was going to be like.

    "It's going to be a very cold winter."

    So just to be on the safe side, Oyarde told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

    But after several days, Oyarde had an idea. He went to the reservation’s phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, “Will it be cold this winter?”

    “Oh, yes,” the meteorologist at the Weather Service replied, “It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold.”

    So the Chief Oyarde went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.

    A week later, Oyarde called the National Weather Service again. “Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?”

    “Yes,” the meteorologist again replied, “It’s going to be a very cold.”

    The Chief Oyarde again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

    Two weeks later, Oyarde called the National Weather Service again. “Are you sure it’s going to be very cold winter?”

    “Absolutely,” the man replied. “It’s looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we’ve ever seen.”

    “How can you be so sure?” the Chief Oyarde asked.

    “Simple,” the weatherman replied, “The Indians are collecting a $#@!load of firewood.”
    Quote Originally Posted by Origanalist View Post
    Tod Evans wants people to die.



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  3. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by Danke View Post
    This fall the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief Oyarde if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

    Since he was a chief in a modern society, he’d never learned the old tribal secrets. He couldn’t look at the sky to predict what the winter was going to be like.

    "It's going to be a very cold winter."

    So just to be on the safe side, Oyarde told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

    But after several days, Oyarde had an idea. He went to the reservation’s phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, “Will it be cold this winter?”

    “Oh, yes,” the meteorologist at the Weather Service replied, “It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold.”

    So the Chief Oyarde went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.

    A week later, Oyarde called the National Weather Service again. “Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?”

    “Yes,” the meteorologist again replied, “It’s going to be a very cold.”

    The Chief Oyarde again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

    Two weeks later, Oyarde called the National Weather Service again. “Are you sure it’s going to be very cold winter?”

    “Absolutely,” the man replied. “It’s looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we’ve ever seen.”

    “How can you be so sure?” the Chief Oyarde asked.

    “Simple,” the weatherman replied, “The Indians are collecting a $#@!load of firewood.”
    While humorous , this is not true , I do not call the gubmit , I just collect firewood , the Squaw , though is persistent and reads things , like persimmons , wooly worms , the Almanac and tells me , I need to get busy , I do not though share this disinformation with the tribe as not to alarm them . This all seemed fairly wise until last winter , which felt as though I was in International Falls , even though I knew I was not. Thus , as you can see Danke , it is a difficult job , at best to be , Son Of a Sagamore of The Wabash , Venerated War Chief, Great Sachem and visionary.....

  4. #3

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    Now , can you please explain , Danke , to these white peoples , that Daylight Saving Time , does not make the sun shine longer in the day ? I will buy you a beer once they have consensus they are fools.LOL
    Last edited by oyarde; 10-15-2014 at 11:16 PM.

  5. #4

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    Being new Sachem would be rough ,I would suggest talking to Old Sagamore of 25 yr minimum first to see if the job sounds good , LOL

  6. #5

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    Since you should have time off in the Great White North this winter Danke , if you travel directly west , I could use a few extra , straight , wild rose clippings to use as arrow shafts for my new arrow points , you know , just in case I run out of ammo , LOL

  7. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by oyarde View Post
    Since you should have time off in the Great White North this winter Danke , if you travel directly west , I could use a few extra , straight , wild rose clippings to use as arrow shafts for my new arrow points , you know , just in case I run out of ammo , LOL
    I can get you a $10 voucher at the reservation casino.
    Quote Originally Posted by Origanalist View Post
    Tod Evans wants people to die.



    Quiz: Test Your "Income" Tax IQ!


    Short Income Tax Video

    The Income Tax Is An Excise, And Excise Taxes Are Privilege Taxes

    The Federalist Papers, No. 15:

    Except as to the rule of apportionment, the United States have an indefinite discretion to make requisitions for men and money; but they have no authority to raise either by regulations extending to the individual citizens of America.

  8. #7

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    wooly worms 'round these parts are almost all solid black this year.

  9. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by GunnyFreedom View Post
    wooly worms 'round these parts are almost all solid black this year.
    I haven't seen any but they're usually black and orange around here.

  10. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by oyarde View Post
    Since you should have time off in the Great White North this winter Danke , if you travel directly west , I could use a few extra , straight , wild rose clippings to use as arrow shafts for my new arrow points , you know , just in case I run out of ammo , LOL
    I have some longbow arrows (6oz w/ bodkin AP-arrowheads) with shafts made out of hickory and hazelnut, both pretty straight growing trees that are excellent for making arrows.. These arrows are made for a 120lb draw weight English warbow, quite a b*tch to draw but thats a lot of energy to put into a relatively heavy arrow. This is the way to have fun with bows, or to disfigure your shoulders after years of doing so.. Like I said, fun.

    I feel we get a cold winter here, because I have some outdoor construction going on.. Things like that always provoke mother nature. Normally we have a few days of snow here in February or so.. This year we'll probably have snow from December to March, my kind of luck lol. I do like snow but my cement doesn't.

  11. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by GunnyFreedom View Post
    wooly worms 'round these parts are almost all solid black this year.
    Only saw one this year and it was all rust, NE Ohio area. Must be all the rest of the woollies are hibernating from the coming cold and not only did this one get his coat wrong, poor thing is gonna freeze to death.
    We will be known forever by the tracks we leave. - Dakota


    Go Forward With Courage

    When you are in doubt, be still, and wait;
    when doubt no longer exists for you, then go forward with courage.
    So long as mists envelop you, be still;
    be still until the sunlight pours through and dispels the mists
    -- as it surely will.
    Then act with courage.

    Ponca Chief White Eagle

  12. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by Danke View Post
    I can get you a $10 voucher at the reservation casino.
    I have never been in one of those , how is the buffet ? any crab legs ?

  13. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by moostraks View Post
    Only saw one this year and it was all rust, NE Ohio area. Must be all the rest of the woollies are hibernating from the coming cold and not only did this one get his coat wrong, poor thing is gonna freeze to death.
    El Niño vs La Niña makes for strange weather patterns. Before, y'all had it cold while we seemed to skip winter altogether. This year it may be that y'all will have a mild winter while we get blitzed.

  14. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suzanimal View Post
    I haven't seen any but they're usually black and orange around here.
    The vernacular goes that the more orange on the wooly worm, the milder your winter will be.

  15. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by GunnyFreedom View Post
    The vernacular goes that the more orange on the wooly worm, the milder your winter will be.
    Couldn't you have told me that a few weeks earlier ? I remember seeing one but I don't remember what color it was, lol.

  16. #15

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    I think that joke is older than Oyarde.

  17. #16

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    Quote Originally Posted by GunnyFreedom View Post
    The vernacular goes that the more orange on the wooly worm, the milder your winter will be.
    37th Annual Woolly Worm Festival

    OCTOBER 18th AND 19th, 2014

    Downtown Banner Elk, North Carolina

    Back in the late 1970s, the editor of the now-defunct Mountain Living Magazine, Jim Morton, was preparing to include a Woolly Worm Forecast in the winter issue of the magazine. He photographed the first Woolly Worm he saw to use in formulating the prediction and illustrating his story, but the next day he saw a second worm that looked completely different from the!

    “That’s when it struck me that we needed some formal procedure to use to decide which was going to be the official worm for making the winter forecast,” said Morton.

    The Woolly Worm races begin around 9:30 a.m. Each heat consists of 25 worms and races continue all day until the grand final around 4 p.m. The winning worm on Saturday is declared the official winter forecasting agent. The Sunday worm races are for prestige, fun and small prizes.

    http://www.woollyworm.com/
    Theye have refused their Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

    Theye have erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

    Theye kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies

    Theye have combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution,

    For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

    For cutting off our Trade with parts of the world:

    For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

    For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

    Theye plundered and destroyed the lives of our people.

    Theye are at this time transporting Armies of Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy of a civilized nation.

  18. #17

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    Quote Originally Posted by green73 View Post
    I think that joke is older than Oyarde.
    Yeah ,maybe , I do not care if my young friends poke fun at me , but it would be more tolerable if the sent me something nice , like a craft beer six pack or something , LOL , or bought something from me....

  19. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by green73 View Post
    I think that joke is older than Oyarde.
    ,
    Kind of like this one , Old guy explains to retard census worker , or fill in the blank dumbass , about " no daylight saving time " . Only the gubmit white man can sell snake oil that you trim off a pc. of the blanket , sew it on the other end and the blanket is longer , LOL

  20. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by oyarde View Post
    Yeah ,maybe , I do not care if my young friends poke fun at me , but it would be more tolerable if the sent me something nice , like a craft beer six pack or something , LOL , or bought something from me....
    Oyarde, I'd buy all your trinkets and wares if I had the gold of a king.
    Last edited by green73; 10-16-2014 at 11:57 PM.

  21. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by green73 View Post
    Oyarde, I'd buy all your trinkets and wares if I had the gold of a king.
    I can always find something in your price range , but more importantly , I need an address to send you a couple gifts while I am still sane

  22. #21

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    Quote Originally Posted by green73 View Post
    Oyarde, I'd buy all your trinkets and wares if I had the gold of a king.
    Kings have no gold , unless they have taken it from others . I am king here and I earned it all .Easy to be king here , buy a little land , arm yourself , and let all others know you will defend it to the death and that there will be others who will do the same on that event , LOL

  23. #22

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    Oyarde, we will meet one day. It may not be on this plane, but it will happen, and when it does, all the gold and trinkets in the world will be but a laugh to us.

  24. #23

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    Quote Originally Posted by phill4paul View Post
    37th Annual Woolly Worm Festival

    OCTOBER 18th AND 19th, 2014

    Downtown Banner Elk, North Carolina

    Back in the late 1970s, the editor of the now-defunct Mountain Living Magazine, Jim Morton, was preparing to include a Woolly Worm Forecast in the winter issue of the magazine. He photographed the first Woolly Worm he saw to use in formulating the prediction and illustrating his story, but the next day he saw a second worm that looked completely different from the!

    “That’s when it struck me that we needed some formal procedure to use to decide which was going to be the official worm for making the winter forecast,” said Morton.

    The Woolly Worm races begin around 9:30 a.m. Each heat consists of 25 worms and races continue all day until the grand final around 4 p.m. The winning worm on Saturday is declared the official winter forecasting agent. The Sunday worm races are for prestige, fun and small prizes.

    http://www.woollyworm.com/
    Wooly worm races , I expected as much , I cannot let the Mrs know of such , or while picking persimmons , she would think she had the winning wooly worm and torture me by making me go while complaining that I was not gathering firewood .

  25. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by green73 View Post
    Oyarde, we will meet one day. It may not be on this plane, but it will happen, and when it does, all the gold and trinkets in the world will be but a laugh to us.
    Yes , they will .

  26. #25

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    I am actually hoping for a nice , mild winter and sunny and 60 until Thanksgiving

  27. #26

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    I'm hoping for a very cold winter. Sooner the better. Can't wait to be skiing again.

  28. #27

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    If it does turn out to be a cold winter, what kind of stove will you be using to heat your place ?

  29. #28

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    Quote Originally Posted by Root View Post
    I'm hoping for a very cold winter. Sooner the better. Can't wait to be skiing again.
    Lol , I have seen lots of snow in winters that did not seem so bad , it is the Temp,'s that bother me , I mean , hell , at my age , anything in the teens or below pretty well sucks , especially if there is any wind .

  30. #29

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    When will this "winter" start. I look forward to it. I'm tired of sweating my ass off in October.

  31. #30

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    The colder the winter around here the better. A harsh winter cuts down on the ticks and chiggers and such.

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