Beautiful day. I’m planning on riding out mama animal’s house and we’re going shopping and having dinner. She wants to eat at this fancy Mexican joint near her house. The food’s good but it’s expensive and my mom is a master of disappearing when the bill comes. She always orders the most expensive thing on the menu, too. It’s annoying because she barely eats. I swear the woman barley weighs 100 l swear and 90% of her diet is pink wine and high blood pressure medication. How does someone who drinks that much have high blood pressure?
She’s going to be happy because I’m surprising her with a new pair of cute shoes. I hope they fit her. She wears a 1/2 size smaller than me so I usually try them on and if I can get them on but they’re a tad too tight then they fit her but it’s summer and she keeps her toenails long because she has short toes and she thinks they look better in sandals when they’re long. They don’t. They look weird as hell. She gets mad when I tease her but she bitches that her close toe shoes don’t fit and doesn’t seem to get that it’s because she has crazy ass toenails. O_o
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