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Thread: too much porn got you down? Laboratory-grown penises will be available in 5 years

  1. #1

    too much porn got you down? Laboratory-grown penises will be available in 5 years



    No snark here, dear readers: We sincerely hope you never lose a body part, especially not one of your reproductive organs. In the event that do you suffer a terrible accident, or if you were born with some kind of abnormality, there's a team of researchers dedicated to making sure patients not only recover these organs, but go on to live normal lives. That group comes from Wake Forest Institute for Regenerative Medicine, where scientists are not only working on lab-grown vaginas, but also testing laboratory-made penises. If all goes according to plan, they should be ready for use in about five years.

    That's an optimistic claim, that it could take just five years for this technique to reach real-world patients. Incredibly enough, too, the scientists' research is based on studies of rabbits, of all things. In their trials, the researchers cleansed the donor penis in detergent to remove all the living cells, leaving behind a collagen frame where scientists then seed penile cells harvested from the patient himself. These include smooth muscle cells and endothelial cells, which are necessary for erectile function. The entire process took several weeks, but in tests, the rabbits who received transplants were later able to mate and even reproduce. Now, after years of testing, the team is ready to try this procedure on humans.

    If successful, this would mean a higher quality of life for men unfortunate to be born with an abnormal penis, or to suffer a catastrophic injury. As Vice notes, penile replacement surgeries currently involve encasing a prosthetic with skin taken from the patient's arm or thigh. Only with this new procedure would men be able to regain erectile function. It's worth noting, however, that precisely because this method requires the use of the patient's own penile cells, it won't be of use to transgender female-to-male patients hoping to undergo sex reassignment surgery.

    http://www.engadget.com/2014/10/07/l...in-five-years/
    "IF GOD DIDN'T WANT TO HELP AMERICA, THEN WE WOULD HAVE Hillary Clinton"!!
    "let them search you,touch you,violate your Rights,just don't be a dick!"~ cdc482
    "For Wales. Why Richard, it profits a man nothing to give his soul for the whole world. But for Wales?"
    All my life I've been at the mercy of men just following orders... Never again!~Erik Lehnsherr
    There's nothing wrong with stopping people randomly, especially near bars, restaurants etc.~Velho



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  3. #2
    Needs a donor penis though, right? If we needed to, I'm sure we could simply use the penises from those serving life sentences. Should be enough supply, I think, and they don't need them.
    It's all about taking action and not being lazy. So you do the work, whether it's fitness or whatever. It's about getting up, motivating yourself and just doing it.
    - Kim Kardashian

    Donald Trump / Crenshaw 2024!!!!

    My pronouns are he/him/his

  4. #3
    elective dick jobs by 2020?

    'We endorse the idea of voluntarism; self-responsibility: Family, friends, and churches to solve problems, rather than saying that some monolithic government is going to make you take care of yourself and be a better person. It's a preposterous notion: It never worked, it never will. The government can't make you a better person; it can't make you follow good habits.' - Ron Paul 1988

    Awareness is the Root of Liberation Revolution is Action upon Revelation

    'Resistance and Disobedience in Economic Activity is the Most Moral Human Action Possible' - SEK3

    Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo.

    ...the familiar ritual of institutional self-absolution...
    ...for protecting them, by mock trial, from punishment...


  5. #4
    QUESTIONS:

    Does my healthcare plan cover this, and if so, how many?

    Do they really get on your nerves so two would actually be twice the fun of having just one?

    Maybe the new one would be even more fun than the old one, just 'cause it's new!

    Conversely, slamming both of them in the car door is going to hurt twice as bad...

    How many can a guy have added on before his heart just can't pump enough blood
    around to use them all at the same time? Is there a time division multiplexing option?


  6. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by FindLiberty View Post
    QUESTIONS:

    Does my healthcare plan cover this, and if so, how many?
    It depends: over, under, or side by side?

    'We endorse the idea of voluntarism; self-responsibility: Family, friends, and churches to solve problems, rather than saying that some monolithic government is going to make you take care of yourself and be a better person. It's a preposterous notion: It never worked, it never will. The government can't make you a better person; it can't make you follow good habits.' - Ron Paul 1988

    Awareness is the Root of Liberation Revolution is Action upon Revelation

    'Resistance and Disobedience in Economic Activity is the Most Moral Human Action Possible' - SEK3

    Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo.

    ...the familiar ritual of institutional self-absolution...
    ...for protecting them, by mock trial, from punishment...


  7. #6
    Reminds me of:

  8. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Zippyjuan View Post
    Reminds me of:

  9. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by FindLiberty View Post
    Do they really get on your nerves so two would actually be twice the fun of having just one?
    wow, imagine the porn possibilities...



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  11. #9
    ..
    Last edited by specsaregood; 05-20-2016 at 08:36 PM.

  12. #10
    so, five more years of "pessimist" on this board before he suddenly becomes way to busy...

  13. #11
    So a man with a small penis could have an "accident" and maybe be better off after??
    Few men have virtue enough to withstand the highest bidder. ~GEORGE WASHINGTON, letter, Aug. 17, 1779

    Quit yer b*tching and whining and GET INVOLVED!!

  14. #12
    First Trillion dollar company.

    8 inches for all!! Well at least if you have a 150K. Lots of women gonna be walking funny in 2020.

  15. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by mosquitobite View Post
    So a man with a small penis could have an "accident" and maybe be better off after??
    are you talking about cops?
    "IF GOD DIDN'T WANT TO HELP AMERICA, THEN WE WOULD HAVE Hillary Clinton"!!
    "let them search you,touch you,violate your Rights,just don't be a dick!"~ cdc482
    "For Wales. Why Richard, it profits a man nothing to give his soul for the whole world. But for Wales?"
    All my life I've been at the mercy of men just following orders... Never again!~Erik Lehnsherr
    There's nothing wrong with stopping people randomly, especially near bars, restaurants etc.~Velho

  16. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by specsaregood View Post
    The burning question they don't address... Could a man use this to get a size upgrade?
    1. Grow a new donkey sized penis
    2. Surgically remove and replace the original penis.

    They state that they use the donor's existing penis cells to grow it, so I would assume that it would grow to the same size/shape/functionality as the original making this not possible. .
    If I remember correctly, they're growing the vaginas on mice - what the heck are they growing big ol donkey dicks on? I hope it's not a poor little mouse.

    But seriously there would have to be a bigger market for that; than the number of people with abnormal wieners or wieners lost in tragic accidents
    There's probably a bigger market for abnormal wieners or wieners lost in tragic accidents than abnormal vaginas or vaginas lost in tragic accidents.

  17. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Suzanimal View Post
    There's probably a bigger market for abnormal wieners or wieners lost in tragic accidents than abnormal vaginas or vaginas lost in tragic accidents.
    Yeah, but the pocket vagina market has gotta be huge as well.

  18. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by specsaregood View Post
    Yeah, but the pocket vagina market has gotta be huge as well.
    I don't understand. Pocket vaginas are sex toys.



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  20. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Suzanimal View Post
    I don't understand. Pocket vaginas are sex toys.
    Yeah but now we are talking about perhaps the ability to make a real one instead of plastic. Just saying... some ingenious toy maker is contemplating the idea already.

  21. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by specsaregood View Post
    Yeah but now we are talking about perhaps the ability to make a real one instead of plastic. Just saying... some ingenious toy maker is contemplating the idea already.
    Oh, I didn't consider that. I hope they do the same thing with the extra wieners.

  22. #19
    ok heres what i want now. i want a vag on the back of my calf muscle, cause that would line up just about right. then i want at least 1 boob on the top of my other thigh. picture that paradise! it wont be long before some women will have to get a better attitude or GTFO. thank YOU science!

  23. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by Suzanimal View Post
    Oh, I didn't consider that. I hope they do the same thing with the extra wieners.
    neat. if you could mount it on a blood cycling machine, it would keep it alive and ready all the time. in the future, some men will either have to get a better attitude or GTFO!

  24. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by satchelmcqueen View Post
    ok heres what i want now. i want a vag on the back of my calf muscle, cause that would line up just about right. then i want at least 1 boob on the top of my other thigh. picture that paradise! it wont be long before some women will have to get a better attitude or GTFO. thank YOU science!
    You might want to rethink that, I hate to break it to ya Satch but you're gonna have a hard time attracting women with a boob and a vag on your leg, just sayin.

  25. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by satchelmcqueen View Post
    neat. if you could mount it on a blood cycling machine, it would keep it alive and ready all the time. in the future, some men will either have to get a better attitude or GTFO!
    Hell yeah!!!

  26. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by bxm042 View Post
    Needs a donor penis though, right? If we needed to, I'm sure we could simply use the penises from those serving life sentences. Should be enough supply, I think, and they don't need them.
    According to the young ladies who attend the Baptist Bible University the "men" there have little to no use for theirs.....

  27. #24
    Quote Originally Posted by specsaregood View Post
    Yeah, but the pocket vagina market has gotta be huge as well.
    That reminds me of a joke.

    http://bigstupidtommy.blogspot.com/2...ig-as-hat.html
    Liberty is lost through complacency and a subservient mindset. When we accept or even welcome automobile checkpoints, random searches, mandatory identification cards, and paramilitary police in our streets, we have lost a vital part of our American heritage. America was born of protest, revolution, and mistrust of government. Subservient societies neither maintain nor deserve freedom for long.
    Ron Paul 2004

    Registered Ron Paul supporter # 2202
    It's all about Freedom



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  29. #25
    OK I edited a post yo correct things then realized there was a double


    I'm using the full version of this site on my phone...its harder
    Last edited by pessimist; 10-08-2014 at 11:35 PM.

  30. #26
    I remember back in high school when I lost my virginity as a senior to my gf at the time. We mostly had done everything but...before the embarrassing you never forget the first night to forget experience.

    She was not the typical chick I was usually attracted to (or were attracted to me) sure I may have been the shy, mysterious, "is he a nerd? a skater? a druggie? intelligent? retarded? Why is he so skinny, and have long hair? why doesn't he talk to anyone?" "He's a little weird but he isn't creepy or threatening and dresses kinda cool".

    I apparently became a puzzle to unravel to several females. Since I wasn't a whiny emo kid or goth or some freak that walked around in trench coats I got approached by my female peers with mostly curious questions. Once I opened up, some found me 'funny' and 'sweet' but still a little "too smart and weird" or "what the hell are you talking about dumb".

    Anyway, I ended going out with a tall bottle blond who I had nothing in common with. The sex was awkward and unfulfilling. She later ended up in a relationship with a big black dude lol.

    Its late...on phone...don't care about grammar, spelling, or autocorrect or how my rambling while calmed by a benzo is relevant to this thread.
    Last edited by pessimist; 10-08-2014 at 11:24 PM.

  31. #27
    Well that's embarassing. wtf was I talking about? At least ativan doesn't make one forget their idiocy.

  32. #28
    It's likely that this kind of medical technology would mostly come in handy.

    Judging by all the applause, the early adopters must all be very satisfied with
    their decision to get DUAL implanted lab-grown vaginas and laboratory-made
    penises BOTH attached at the same time. That decision is a real no-brainer
    for both male and female patients because, on one hand you got the vagina
    and on the other hand, there's that perfectly lined up penis.

    Even those patients on tighter budgets that could only afford a single surgical
    implant seem completely satisfied individually, in pairs or groups. They seem
    to give and get a whole lot of physical attention in the form of intimate hugs,
    enthusiastic high-fives, jolly slaps on the back and then there's all those
    exciting secret handshakes.

  33. #29
    Quote Originally Posted by pessimist View Post
    Well that's embarassing. wtf was I talking about? At least ativan doesn't make one forget their idiocy.
    Are you sure?
    "The Patriarch"

  34. #30
    Idiocracy once again predicting the future:
    Clevon is lucky to be alive. He attempted to jump a jetski from a lake into a swimming pool and impaled his crotch on an iron gate.
    But thanks to recent advances in stem cell research and the fine work of Doctors Crensky and AllSchuler, Clevon should regain full reproductive function.

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