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Thread: Satire: How the U.S. press would cover Ferguson if it happened in another country

  1. #1

    Satire: How the U.S. press would cover Ferguson if it happened in another country

    This is really great. I hope it goes viral.

    No, introspection is not its strong point, and neither is the Golden Rule, but hypocrisy sure is.

    "Do as we say, not as we do."

    http://www.theburningplatform.com/20...other-country/

    This is a hysterical satire of what the rest of the world sees when we dictate what should happen in their countries. Introspection is not a strong point of the American Empire.

    Via Vox

    How would American media cover the news from Ferguson, Missouri, if it were happening in just about any other country? How would the world respond differently? Here, to borrow a great idea from Slate’s Joshua Keating, is a satirical take on the story you might be reading if Ferguson were in, say, Iraq or Pakistan.

    FERGUSON — Chinese and Russian officials are warning of a potential humanitarian crisis in the restive American province of Missouri, where ancient communal tensions have boiled over into full-blown violence.

    “We must use all means at our disposal to end the violence and restore calm to the region,” Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov said in comments to an emergency United Nations Security Council session on the America crisis.

    The crisis began a week ago in Ferguson, a remote Missouri village that has been a hotbed of sectarian tension. State security forces shot and killed an unarmed man, which regional analysts say has angered the local population by surfacing deep-seated sectarian grievances. Regime security forces cracked down brutally on largely peaceful protests, worsening the crisis.

    America has been roiled by political instability and protests in recent years, which analysts warn can create fertile ground for extremists.

    Missouri, far-removed from the glistening capital city of Washington, is ostensibly ruled by a charismatic but troubled official named Jay Nixon, who has appeared unable to successfully intervene and has resisted efforts at mediation from central government officials. Complicating matters, President Obama is himself a member of the minority sect protesting in Ferguson, which is ruled overwhelmingly by members of America’s majority “white people” sect.

    Analysts who study the opaque American political system, in which all provinces are granted semi-autonomous self-rule, warned that Nixon may seize the opportunity to move against weakened municipal rulers in Ferguson. Missouri’s provincial legislature, a traditional “shura council,” is dominated by the opposition faction. Though fears of a military coup remain low, it is still unknown how Nixon’s allies within the capital will respond should the crisis continue.

    Now, international leaders say they fear the crisis could spread.

    “The only lasting solution is reconciliation among American communities and stronger Missouri security forces,” Chinese President Xi Jinping said in a speech from his vacation home in Hainan. “However, we can and should support moderate forces who can bring stability to America. So we will continue to pursue a broader strategy that empowers Americans to confront this crisis.”

    Xi’s comments were widely taken as an indication that China would begin arming moderate factions in Missouri, in the hopes of overpowering rogue regime forces and preventing extremism from taking root. An unknown number of Kurdish peshmerga military “advisers” have traveled to the region to help provide security. Gun sales have been spiking in the US since the crisis began.

    Analysts warn the violence could spread toward oil-producing regions such as Oklahoma or even disrupt the flow of American beer supplies, some of the largest in the world, and could provide a fertile breeding ground for extremists. Though al-Qaeda is not known to have yet established a foothold in Missouri, its leaders have previously hinted at assets there.

    Though Missouri is infamous abroad for its simmering sectarian tensions and brutal regime crackdowns, foreign visitors here are greeted warmly and with hospitality. A lawless expanse of dogwood trees and beer breweries, Missouri is located in a central United States region that Americans refer to, curiously, as the “MidWest” though it is nearer to the country’s east.

    It is known among Americans as the home of Mark Twain, a provincial writer from the country’s small but cherished literary culture, and as the originator of Budweiser, a traditional American alcoholic beverage. Budweiser itself is now owned by a Belgian firm, in a sign of how globalization is transforming even this remote area of the United States. Analysts say some American communities have struggled as globalization has pulled jobs into more developed countries, worsening instability here.

    Locals here eat a regional delicacy known as barbecue, made from the rib bones of pigs, and subsist on traditional crafts such as agriculture and aerospace engineering. The regional center of commerce is known locally as Saint Louis, named for a 13th century French king, a legacy of Missouri’s history as a remote and violent corner of the French Empire.

    Though Ferguson’s streets remained quiet on Friday, a palpable sense of tension and uncertainty hung in the air. A Chinese Embassy official here declined to comment but urged all parties to exhibit restraint and respect for the rule of law. In Moscow, Kremlin planners were said to be preparing for a possible military intervention should political instability spread to the nearby oil-producing region of Texas.
    Related, and not satire: Human Rights Watch USA – Amnesty International Deploys In America
    http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-0...eploys-america
    Based on the idea of natural rights, government secures those rights to the individual by strictly negative intervention, making justice costless and easy of access; and beyond that it does not go. The State, on the other hand, both in its genesis and by its primary intention, is purely anti-social. It is not based on the idea of natural rights, but on the idea that the individual has no rights except those that the State may provisionally grant him. It has always made justice costly and difficult of access, and has invariably held itself above justice and common morality whenever it could advantage itself by so doing.
    --Albert J. Nock



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  3. #2
    Analysts who study the opaque American political system, in which all provinces are granted semi-autonomous self-rule
    ...and there it is.
    All modern revolutions have ended in a reinforcement of the power of the State.
    -Albert Camus

  4. #3
    Pick up the phone, call your friend, read aloud.

    lol
    Last edited by presence; 08-19-2014 at 07:57 PM.

    'We endorse the idea of voluntarism; self-responsibility: Family, friends, and churches to solve problems, rather than saying that some monolithic government is going to make you take care of yourself and be a better person. It's a preposterous notion: It never worked, it never will. The government can't make you a better person; it can't make you follow good habits.' - Ron Paul 1988

    Awareness is the Root of Liberation Revolution is Action upon Revelation

    'Resistance and Disobedience in Economic Activity is the Most Moral Human Action Possible' - SEK3

    Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo.

    ...the familiar ritual of institutional self-absolution...
    ...for protecting them, by mock trial, from punishment...


  5. #4
    This is so good. It sounds EXACTLY like our media.
    "The Patriarch"

  6. #5
    I was hoping for a Lindsey Graham or John McCain appearance in the article...
    "Foreign aid is taking money from the poor people of a rich country, and giving it to the rich people of a poor country." - Ron Paul
    "Beware the Military-Industrial-Financial-Pharma-Corporate-Internet-Media-Government Complex." - B4L update of General Dwight D. Eisenhower
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    "Totally free immigration? I've never taken that position. I believe in national sovereignty." - Ron Paul

    Proponent of real science.
    The views and opinions expressed here are solely my own, and do not represent this forum or any other entities or persons.

  7. #6
    Wow, that is awesome.

    I'm going to be sharing this now.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sister Miriam Godwinson View Post
    We Must Dissent.

  8. #7
    That was awesome. +Rep, I'm all out for Lucille.

  9. #8
    Nicely done. But nothing is new under the sun...

    Quote Originally Posted by acptulsa View Post
    'I see we're sending the Marines to China.

    'Good heavens. How would we like it if the Chinese sent their Marines up the Mississippi, saying they have to look after their laundries in Memphis?'--Will Rogers
    Quote Originally Posted by Will Rogers View Post
    Exerpt of the dream he said he had while under the ether:

    "Well, the train was right on us when the Chinese started shelling the town and saying, 'We are Missionaries come to America, and you will have to worship Buddha and go to the Mission schools and learn Chinese.' Then the Nicaraguans started dropping aeroplane bombs on us. We had nothing to do but let them drop. They said they wanted to protect the United States as they wanted to put a canal through here some time."
    Quote Originally Posted by Swordsmyth View Post
    We believe our lying eyes...



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  11. #9
    How the international press is covering it:

    International Critics Turn Tables and Wag Finger at US Over Ferguson Crisis
    http://www.ronpaulforums.com/showthr...erguson-Crisis
    Based on the idea of natural rights, government secures those rights to the individual by strictly negative intervention, making justice costless and easy of access; and beyond that it does not go. The State, on the other hand, both in its genesis and by its primary intention, is purely anti-social. It is not based on the idea of natural rights, but on the idea that the individual has no rights except those that the State may provisionally grant him. It has always made justice costly and difficult of access, and has invariably held itself above justice and common morality whenever it could advantage itself by so doing.
    --Albert J. Nock

  12. #10
    Though Missouri is infamous abroad for its simmering sectarian tensions and brutal regime crackdowns, foreign visitors here are greeted warmly and with hospitality. A lawless expanse of dogwood trees and beer breweries, Missouri is located in a central United States region that Americans refer to, curiously, as the “MidWest” though it is nearer to the country’s east.
    BM.
    UK Daily Mirror's reporter probably didn't feel such warm hospitality.

    Armed Missouri police train rifles on Mirror reporter - and then he is tear- ... Christopher Bucktin

    But good satire otherwise.

  13. #11
    FYI, you can change the title if you share on facebook. Help people make the click
    Few men have virtue enough to withstand the highest bidder. ~GEORGE WASHINGTON, letter, Aug. 17, 1779

    Quit yer b*tching and whining and GET INVOLVED!!



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