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Thread: Want to Scare the Bejesus Out of Your Kid With a Fake Call From the Cops? There's an App for T

  1. #1

    Want to Scare the Bejesus Out of Your Kid With a Fake Call From the Cops? There's an App for T

    What the hell is wrong with people?

    Hey parents, aren't there days when you wish you could have a cop call and yell at your kids for you? Who doesn't occasionally want to invoke fear of a SWAT team busting down the door when Junior just won't pick up his Legos?

    Now you can! Get your very own call from the cops for 99 cents. A new app will generate a fake call from "Sergeant Friendly" admonishing your kid by name for failing to do things like sleep in their own bed or clean up their toys. (There's a free version, but it doesn't have a full library of nags.)

    "Hello, this is the police department," the call begins after a computer-generated voice bleats the child's name. "I heard you haven't been eating all of your food lately....I'll be checking in on you later to see that you're eating all of your food. I have to go now and catch some bad guys." And then there a police siren.

    According to the press release I received today, this is the genesis of this not-at-all creepy app:

    I was visiting a mall with my two youngest children when both of them began to misbehave. I was embarrassed by their behavior and was willing to do anything to get them to listen. I told them that the mall police were watching them on the security cameras and that they needed to be good. At that moment, I thought to myself, how nice would it be to have a personalized phone call from a police officer to correct or reward your child’s behavior.

    I contacted my wife to tell her my idea and she thought it was brilliant. After giving it some thought, the app was developed and now it’s available on Apple and Android devices worldwide for FREE. The character I created is Sergeant Friendly. He is a police officer that children can look up to as a role model. I didn’t want to scare the children, so I made him very approachable and likable. The first time I tried the app with my children, ages 3 and 5, they corrected their behavior immediately. About 10 minutes later, I arranged a second call to them so that Sergeant Friendly could praise them for being good. They were ecstatic and could not wait to tell me what Sergeant Friendly had said to them on the phone. “Daddy, Sergeant Friendly just called me and told me that he is proud of me for being good”.

    And the kicker: The creator of the app is a police officer.

    The funny thing is that I happen to be a Friendly Police Officer myself with over 18 years of experience. I hope your child loves the app just as much as mine do. Thank you.

    On a far more grim note, here's a reminder about what can happen when parents actually call the police on their kids.

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  3. #2
    They were ecstatic and could not wait to tell me what Sergeant Friendly had said to them on the phone. “Daddy, Sergeant Friendly just called me and told me that he is proud of me for being good”.

    And the kicker: The creator of the app is a police officer.
    No $#@!in way..
    "He's talkin' to his gut like it's a person!!" -me
    "dumpster diving isn't professional." - angelatc
    "You don't need a medical degree to spot obvious bullshit, that's actually a separate skill." -Scott Adams
    "When you are divided, and angry, and controlled, you target those 'different' from you, not those responsible [controllers]" -Q

    "Each of us must choose which course of action we should take: education, conventional political action, or even peaceful civil disobedience to bring about necessary changes. But let it not be said that we did nothing." - Ron Paul

    "Paul said "the wave of the future" is a coalition of anti-authoritarian progressive Democrats and libertarian Republicans in Congress opposed to domestic surveillance, opposed to starting new wars and in favor of ending the so-called War on Drugs."

  4. #3
    Where is that damn pic I posted that cops posted on FarceBook telling parents NOT to do this.

    $#@!ing insanity...

  5. #4

  6. #5
    I foresee laffs galore when the youngsters get their own iPhone apps.

    "Hello Mr.Brown,this is Corporal Punishment from the State Police and I would like to discuss that grow operation in your basement."
    Inspired by US Rep. Ron Paul of Texas, this site is dedicated to facilitating grassroots initiatives that aim to restore a sovereign limited constitutional Republic based on the rule of law, states' rights and individual rights. We seek to enshrine the original intent of our Founders to foster respect for private property, seek justice, provide opportunity, and to secure individual liberty for ourselves and our posterity.

    A police state is a small price to pay for living in the freest country on earth.

  7. #6
    I've seen parents do a low tech version of this when in a retail or grocery store. The parent says to the kid something like, "See the policeman over there? If you don't straighten up, then he'll come over here!"

    This phone call is a whole lot worse, and the brave new world. The whole perverted twist is that it's law enforcement--uh, I mean--order enforcement. It's parents abdicating parental and personal responsibility, and then laying it on various societal institutions. In this case, the pigs are there to raise and then--most likely--eventually taze, beat, and then jail your kids when they unwittingly commit numerous crimes per day. Low tech or high tech--all of it is nauseating.

  8. #7
    Is there an app for wayward girlfriends?
    Openly Straight Man, Danke, Awarded Top Rated Influencer

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  9. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Danke View Post
    Is there an app for wayward girlfriends?

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  11. #9
    "And he'll shoot you puppy too, so be good, you miserable brat!"

  12. #10
    Funny, my parents never had to threaten with the police. When my dad was away my mother would threaten that dad would be home soon and that pretty much ended any shenanigans. Strange world when parents abrogate parenting.

  13. #11
    I know people who would use this. I hope they don't find out about it.
    "Men, it has been well said, think in herds; it will be seen that they go mad in herds, while they only recover their senses slowly, and one by one."
    —Charles Mackay

    "god i fucking wanna rip his balls off and offer them to the gods"

  14. #12
    And then parents cannot understand why their rights are slowly being taken away. SMH
    Proverbs 29:18
    "Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he."

    Hosea 4:6
    "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children."

    "No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.” ~ Charles Dickens

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