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Thread: Less marriages, more online dating (economics of sex)

  1. #1

    Lightbulb Less marriages, more online dating (economics of sex)

    __________________________________________________ ________________
    "A politician will do almost anything to keep their job, even become a patriot" - Hearst



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  3. #2
    Hope for you yet, Collins.

    What do you want me to do, to do for you to see you through?
    A box of rain will ease the pain, and love will see you through.
    Box of Rain, Grateful Dead




    Quote Originally Posted by PaulConventionWV
    A real feminist would have avoided men altogether and found a perfectly good female partner. Because, y'know, all sexual intercourse is actually rape.
    निर्विकल्पा
    aka Wicked Heathen
    I was a nasty woman before Trump made it cool.

  4. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Nirvikalpa View Post
    Hope for you yet, Collins.
    He's invested in some "Liberty" connection site. I just know he has.

  5. #4
    Run! Its the Fapocolypse!
    1776 > 1984

    The FAILURE of the United States Government to operate and maintain an
    Honest Money System , which frees the ordinary man from the clutches of the money manipulators, is the single largest contributing factor to the World's current Economic Crisis.

    The Elimination of Privacy is the Architecture of Genocide

    Belief, Money, and Violence are the three ways all people are controlled

    Quote Originally Posted by Zippyjuan View Post
    Our central bank is not privately owned.

  6. #5
    "I shall bring justice to Westeros. Every man shall reap what he has sown, from the highest lord to the lowest gutter rat. They have made my kingdom bleed, and I do not forget that."
    -Stannis Baratheon

  7. #6
    Tinder is a phenomenon.
    "He's talkin' to his gut like it's a person!!" -me
    "dumpster diving isn't professional." - angelatc
    "You don't need a medical degree to spot obvious bullshit, that's actually a separate skill." -Scott Adams
    "When you are divided, and angry, and controlled, you target those 'different' from you, not those responsible [controllers]" -Q

    "Each of us must choose which course of action we should take: education, conventional political action, or even peaceful civil disobedience to bring about necessary changes. But let it not be said that we did nothing." - Ron Paul

    "Paul said "the wave of the future" is a coalition of anti-authoritarian progressive Democrats and libertarian Republicans in Congress opposed to domestic surveillance, opposed to starting new wars and in favor of ending the so-called War on Drugs."

  8. #7
    Modern Romance
    These days most of us live in cities with millions of other people. We are always surrounded by members of the opposite sex. Yet, it is difficult for many people to find love. In spite of the superabundance of mating possibilities, people now spend more time and energy on the mating game than ever before in human history. Adolescence has become an almost permanent condition. Men and women spend years and years going through a cycle of casual affairs and short-term relationships.

    To understand why this is you have to understand human sexuality. Let's start with the simple observation that men and women are different. Men have stronger feelings of attraction; women have stronger feelings of attachment. That is because men and women have different reproductive strategies. Men can have more children by having sex with multiple partners; women cannot. Women, on the other hand, need the protection and support of men to survive and raise children. We evolved different emotions that reflect the costs and benefits of sex and commitment.

    Men are more motivated toward sex. Women are more motivated toward commitment.

    For thousands of years, human sexuality was mostly confined to marriage. Marriage was a deal that gave each party something of value. The man got a young, fertile virgin. The woman got a promise of life-long support for her and any children they had together. Marriage balanced the emotions of men and women. It combined sex and commitment. It was of equal perceived value and equal biological value to both sexes.
    Because men and women benefited equally from marriage, both were equally motivated to marry. Women usually got married shortly after puberty; men a bit later when they had acquired the means to support a family. Almost everyone got married and had children.

    In modern societies, we have discarded the institution of marriage and the cultural norms about sexual behavior that went along with that institution. We still have legal marriage, but extramarital sex is socially acceptable, and divorce is common. Marriage is becoming irrelevant.

    By abandoning marriage, we have split the mating game into two separate games: the sex game and the commitment game, played in that order.

    ---------snip------------

    Some women (predictably) place the blame on men. Men are just not manning up, they say. Either men are dodging commitment, or they are not making themselves attractive enough for today's wonderful women. But the truth is that female preferences are a bigger obstacle to relationships. Women can’t expect to date only the top 20% of men and get committed relationships. It is not until women start losing their sexual power that they start accepting nice guys, but by then it is often too late.

    After 10 to 15 years in the mating game, women are emotionally traumatized and beta males have had their spirits crushed. Constant rejection creates bitterness between the sexes, making it harder for them to relate to each other. It's yet another vicious circle, driving men and women apart.

    Continue reading http://thewaywardaxolotl.blogspot.co...n-romance.html



    For anyone who wants to read or watch a better explained reason why marriage is low in society, read or watch the article above. It includes the effect of the welfare state, alpha vs beta males etc in the discussion.
    Last edited by juleswin; 02-25-2014 at 06:03 PM.

  9. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by juleswin View Post
    Modern Romance
    These days most of us live in cities with millions of other people. We are always surrounded by members of the opposite sex. Yet, it is difficult for many people to find love. In spite of the superabundance of mating possibilities, people now spend more time and energy on the mating game than ever before in human history. Adolescence has become an almost permanent condition. Men and women spend years and years going through a cycle of casual affairs and short-term relationships.

    To understand why this is you have to understand human sexuality. Let's start with the simple observation that men and women are different. Men have stronger feelings of attraction; women have stronger feelings of attachment. That is because men and women have different reproductive strategies. Men can have more children by having sex with multiple partners; women cannot. Women, on the other hand, need the protection and support of men to survive and raise children. We evolved different emotions that reflect the costs and benefits of sex and commitment.

    Men are more motivated toward sex. Women are more motivated toward commitment.

    For thousands of years, human sexuality was mostly confined to marriage. Marriage was a deal that gave each party something of value. The man got a young, fertile virgin. The woman got a promise of life-long support for her and any children they had together. Marriage balanced the emotions of men and women. It combined sex and commitment. It was of equal perceived value and equal biological value to both sexes.
    Because men and women benefited equally from marriage, both were equally motivated to marry. Women usually got married shortly after puberty; men a bit later when they had acquired the means to support a family. Almost everyone got married and had children.

    In modern societies, we have discarded the institution of marriage and the cultural norms about sexual behavior that went along with that institution. We still have legal marriage, but extramarital sex is socially acceptable, and divorce is common. Marriage is becoming irrelevant.

    By abandoning marriage, we have split the mating game into two separate games: the sex game and the commitment game, played in that order.

    ---------snip------------

    Some women (predictably) place the blame on men. Men are just not manning up, they say. Either men are dodging commitment, or they are not making themselves attractive enough for today's wonderful women. But the truth is that female preferences are a bigger obstacle to relationships. Women can’t expect to date only the top 20% of men and get committed relationships. It is not until women start losing their sexual power that they start accepting nice guys, but by then it is often too late.

    After 10 to 15 years in the mating game, women are emotionally traumatized and beta males have had their spirits crushed. Constant rejection creates bitterness between the sexes, making it harder for them to relate to each other. It's yet another vicious circle, driving men and women apart.

    Continue reading http://thewaywardaxolotl.blogspot.co...n-romance.html



    For anyone who wants to read or watch a better explained reason why marriage is low in society, read or watch the article above. It includes the effect of the welfare state, alpha vs beta males etc in the discussion.
    That is an excellent article, spot on, +rep
    "He's talkin' to his gut like it's a person!!" -me
    "dumpster diving isn't professional." - angelatc
    "You don't need a medical degree to spot obvious bullshit, that's actually a separate skill." -Scott Adams
    "When you are divided, and angry, and controlled, you target those 'different' from you, not those responsible [controllers]" -Q

    "Each of us must choose which course of action we should take: education, conventional political action, or even peaceful civil disobedience to bring about necessary changes. But let it not be said that we did nothing." - Ron Paul

    "Paul said "the wave of the future" is a coalition of anti-authoritarian progressive Democrats and libertarian Republicans in Congress opposed to domestic surveillance, opposed to starting new wars and in favor of ending the so-called War on Drugs."



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  11. #9

  12. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by dannno View Post
    That is an excellent article, spot on, +rep
    I agree, that was an excellent read.

  13. #11
    I am glad you 2 enjoyed it. I was just nodding my head in agreement the first time I read it and its not because its some ancient Chinese secret. It's something we all know a few things about, but just the way the article puts it all together makes it amazing. I recommend anyone in the dating game to read it, cos just being reminded of the forces at play will help one get into and sustain a long lasting relationship.

  14. #12
    That article completely disregards the fact that people can make rational decisions regarding sex and relationships. It makes "the game" seem hopelessly animalistic, emotional, and sub-conscious when it doesn't have to be.
    No more IRS.
    I am now old enough to vote.

  15. #13

  16. #14

  17. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by juleswin View Post
    Modern Romance
    These days most of us live in cities with millions of other people. We are always surrounded by members of the opposite sex. Yet, it is difficult for many people to find love. In spite of the superabundance of mating possibilities, people now spend more time and energy on the mating game than ever before in human history. Adolescence has become an almost permanent condition. Men and women spend years and years going through a cycle of casual affairs and short-term relationships.

    To understand why this is you have to understand human sexuality. Let's start with the simple observation that men and women are different. Men have stronger feelings of attraction; women have stronger feelings of attachment. That is because men and women have different reproductive strategies. Men can have more children by having sex with multiple partners; women cannot. Women, on the other hand, need the protection and support of men to survive and raise children. We evolved different emotions that reflect the costs and benefits of sex and commitment.

    Men are more motivated toward sex. Women are more motivated toward commitment.

    For thousands of years, human sexuality was mostly confined to marriage. Marriage was a deal that gave each party something of value. The man got a young, fertile virgin. The woman got a promise of life-long support for her and any children they had together. Marriage balanced the emotions of men and women. It combined sex and commitment. It was of equal perceived value and equal biological value to both sexes.
    Because men and women benefited equally from marriage, both were equally motivated to marry. Women usually got married shortly after puberty; men a bit later when they had acquired the means to support a family. Almost everyone got married and had children.

    In modern societies, we have discarded the institution of marriage and the cultural norms about sexual behavior that went along with that institution. We still have legal marriage, but extramarital sex is socially acceptable, and divorce is common. Marriage is becoming irrelevant.

    By abandoning marriage, we have split the mating game into two separate games: the sex game and the commitment game, played in that order.

    ---------snip------------

    Some women (predictably) place the blame on men. Men are just not manning up, they say. Either men are dodging commitment, or they are not making themselves attractive enough for today's wonderful women. But the truth is that female preferences are a bigger obstacle to relationships. Women can’t expect to date only the top 20% of men and get committed relationships. It is not until women start losing their sexual power that they start accepting nice guys, but by then it is often too late.

    After 10 to 15 years in the mating game, women are emotionally traumatized and beta males have had their spirits crushed. Constant rejection creates bitterness between the sexes, making it harder for them to relate to each other. It's yet another vicious circle, driving men and women apart.

    Continue reading http://thewaywardaxolotl.blogspot.co...n-romance.html



    For anyone who wants to read or watch a better explained reason why marriage is low in society, read or watch the article above. It includes the effect of the welfare state, alpha vs beta males etc in the discussion.
    Yup. Very good article.
    The proper concern of society is the preservation of individual freedom; the proper concern of the individual is the harmony of society.

    "Who would be free, themselves must strike the blow." - Byron

    "Who overcomes by force, hath overcome but half his foe." - Milton

  18. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by 2young2vote View Post
    That article completely disregards the fact that people can make rational decisions regarding sex and relationships. It makes "the game" seem hopelessly animalistic, emotional, and sub-conscious when it doesn't have to be.
    There is almost nothing rational about sexual attraction. It is largely visceral and unconscious.
    The proper concern of society is the preservation of individual freedom; the proper concern of the individual is the harmony of society.

    "Who would be free, themselves must strike the blow." - Byron

    "Who overcomes by force, hath overcome but half his foe." - Milton



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  20. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by 2young2vote View Post
    That article completely disregards the fact that people can make rational decisions regarding sex and relationships. It makes "the game" seem hopelessly animalistic, emotional, and sub-conscious when it doesn't have to be.
    No no, the article doesn't disregard anything it just portrays generalities. The idea is that many women end up bitter because they are only attracted to the top 20% of men who will likely never commit to them and the reason they aren't attracted to the bottom 80% like they normally would be is because of the negative feedback loops that the bottom 80% of men receive and continually experience because these gates were pulled apart.

    So in your extremes, you have many women becoming feminists and many men developing more bitter attitudes towards women who won't accept them through the first gate.
    "He's talkin' to his gut like it's a person!!" -me
    "dumpster diving isn't professional." - angelatc
    "You don't need a medical degree to spot obvious bullshit, that's actually a separate skill." -Scott Adams
    "When you are divided, and angry, and controlled, you target those 'different' from you, not those responsible [controllers]" -Q

    "Each of us must choose which course of action we should take: education, conventional political action, or even peaceful civil disobedience to bring about necessary changes. But let it not be said that we did nothing." - Ron Paul

    "Paul said "the wave of the future" is a coalition of anti-authoritarian progressive Democrats and libertarian Republicans in Congress opposed to domestic surveillance, opposed to starting new wars and in favor of ending the so-called War on Drugs."

  21. #18
    Some interesting points, but this video isn't nearly comprehensive enough for a topic such as this, let alone to draw a conclusion on the issue.

    A number of highly relevant considerations weren't even mentioned.
    Radical in the sense of being in total, root-and-branch opposition to the existing political system and to the State itself. Radical in the sense of having integrated intellectual opposition to the State with a gut hatred of its pervasive and organized system of crime and injustice. Radical in the sense of a deep commitment to the spirit of liberty and anti-statism that integrates reason and emotion, heart and soul. - M. Rothbard

  22. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by Acala View Post
    There is almost nothing rational about sexual attraction. It is largely visceral and unconscious.


    Quote Originally Posted by dannno View Post
    No no, the article doesn't disregard anything it just portrays generalities. The idea is that many women end up bitter because they are only attracted to the top 20% of men who will likely never commit to them and the reason they aren't attracted to the bottom 80% like they normally would be is because of the negative feedback loops that the bottom 80% of men receive and continually experience because these gates were pulled apart.

    So in your extremes, you have many women becoming feminists and many men developing more bitter attitudes towards women who won't accept them through the first gate.
    Yes, I agree, but there is a difference between someone's attraction and their actions.

    The article explains that "It is not until women start losing their sexual power that they start accepting nice guys, but by then it is often too late." It is assuming that someone's actions are forced by their sexual desires. We have the body wanting one thing, and the mind preferring another. It is assuming that "sexual power" (or lack thereof, for either side) is what determines someones ability to be in a good/strong relationship when that is not true. A person can look and say "this is what I want, but this other option is what what makes sense for my life," and then act upon it. If they do what makes sense for their life then they will inherently have to be happy, and not bitter, because they will have chosen the action that will provide the greatest benefit to themselves.

    The bitterness doesn't come from having sexual power, it comes from not making rational decisions regarding their relationships even when they are capable of doing it. That is where I think the article got it wrong. It concluded by saying, essentially, feel less, rather than, think more.
    No more IRS.
    I am now old enough to vote.

  23. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by 2young2vote View Post
    Yes, I agree, but there is a difference between someone's attraction and their actions.

    The article explains that "It is not until women start losing their sexual power that they start accepting nice guys, but by then it is often too late." It is assuming that someone's actions are forced by their sexual desires. We have the body wanting one thing, and the mind preferring another. It is assuming that "sexual power" (or lack thereof, for either side) is what determines someones ability to be in a good/strong relationship when that is not true. A person can look and say "this is what I want, but this other option is what what makes sense for my life," and then act upon it. If they do what makes sense for their life then they will inherently have to be happy, and not bitter, because they will have chosen the action that will provide the greatest benefit to themselves.

    The bitterness doesn't come from having sexual power, it comes from not making rational decisions regarding their relationships even when they are capable of doing it. That is where I think the article got it wrong. It concluded by saying, essentially, feel less, rather than, think more.
    You cannot choose to be sexually attracted to a person. You can engage in all the reasoned analysis you want about how great the other person is in so many important ways and it will still not produce sexual attraction. And a romantic relationship without mutual sexual attraction - especially if one person is attracted and the other is not - is difficult at best.
    The proper concern of society is the preservation of individual freedom; the proper concern of the individual is the harmony of society.

    "Who would be free, themselves must strike the blow." - Byron

    "Who overcomes by force, hath overcome but half his foe." - Milton

  24. #21
    Let me add another layer of coplexity to this.

    It is true that the so-called alpha male holds the cards in pursuing sexual relationships. While he may not always be able to engage with his first choice among women, he will pretty much always have multiple suitable choices. But there is a problem.

    Getting through the first gate is easy for the alpha male, but once he gets through the first gate, the pressure is on from his partner to go through the second gate. And if the man refuses to go through the second gate, trouble begins. If the man accepts the possibility of the long term commitment but wants to delay, the level of hassle varies with the woman and changes over time. But if the man rejects the possibility of a long-term commitment, or simply breaks off the relationship outright, after having gone through the first gate, the woman's feelings are going to be hurt. Often seriously.

    So the Alpha male has a dilemma. He can simply disregard the feelings his partners, bed any woman that appeals to him, break up with them when he is no longer enjoying the relationship, and move on to the next one. The other option is for the alpha-male to only go through the first gate with a woman if he has some degreee of confidence that also going through the second gate seems like a possibility, on the grounds that to do otherwise is to intentionally sacrifice another person's feelings for your own pleasure. It turns out to be rather difficult to predict the prospects for a long term relationship before approaching the first gate.

    The first alpha male, who beds women without any concern for the aftermath, is an $#@!. The second type of alpha-male who tries to avoid hurting people's feelings frivolously, is a practical celibate.
    The proper concern of society is the preservation of individual freedom; the proper concern of the individual is the harmony of society.

    "Who would be free, themselves must strike the blow." - Byron

    "Who overcomes by force, hath overcome but half his foe." - Milton



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