Shock waves went through the hotel lobbies at the Republican National Convention in Tampa when GOP nominee Donald Trump announced his pick for vice president. In a play for the young, tanned Northeastern Italian American vote Trump has selected “Jersey Shore” starlet Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi.
“They tell me the job is cool. All I have to do is get up every morning and make sure you know that the president is OK and I mean not dead you know for sure. Then its tan, gym, laundry, drunk!” said a clearly hung-over but thrilled Ms. Polizzi.
When told she would be a heartbeat away from the presidency if Trump was elected she responded by saying “Does that mean we have to sleep together?”
The entire Republican establishment has been placed on suicide watch.