Just finish this line:
"A guy walks into a bar..."
I'll give whoever puts who I think has the funniest joke a +Rep!
(I just need some good new jokes, getting sick of recycling the same old crap)
1776 > 1984
The FAILURE of the United States Government to operate and maintain an Honest Money System , which frees the ordinary man from the clutches of the money manipulators, is the single largest contributing factor to the World's current Economic Crisis.
The Elimination of Privacy is the Architecture of Genocide
Belief, Money, and Violence are the three ways all people are controlled
Originally Posted by Zippyjuan
Who put that there?
Liberty is lost through complacency and a subservient mindset. When we accept or even welcome automobile checkpoints, random searches, mandatory identification cards, and paramilitary police in our streets, we have lost a vital part of our American heritage. America was born of protest, revolution, and mistrust of government. Subservient societies neither maintain nor deserve freedom for long.
Ron Paul 2004
Registered Ron Paul supporter # 2202
It's all about Freedom
I'll try to clean it up a little:
A guy walks into a bar with a small box, sets it on the bar, and orders a drink. The barfly at the end of the bar gets curious, walks up to him, and asks what's in the box.
"This is the world's most amazing frog", he says.
"What so amazing about it?" says the barfly.
"This is the only frog in the world that can perform incredible oral sex on a woman."
She slaps him across the face and walks back to her drink. After a few more shots, curiosity get the best of her again.
"Ok," she slurs, "if this frog can perform oral sex, prove it!"
"All right, let's go back to my place", he says.
She proceeds to take off all her clothes and lays down on the bed. The man places the frog between her legs. Nothing. It just sits there.
"Hey, is this frog going to do me, or what?!?", she demands.
"I just don't get it", he says, as he moves the frog to the side of the bed.
Pointing at the frog sternly, he says, "Alright, now pay attention, I'm going to show you just ONE MORE TIME!"
Last edited by Bruno; 02-15-2011 at 09:58 AM.
"A guy walks into a bar..."
and ends up in rehab.
"..and on Earth anguish of nations, not knowing the way out...while men become faint out of fear and expectation of the things coming upon the inhabited Earth." -- Jesus of Nazareth
Two old women are standing in an endless line-up to buy bread. One says to the other: “What a terribly long line!” The other replies: “Yes, but just imagine – in the capitalist countries, the government doesn’t even distribute the bread!”
What if courts or PDAs become corrupt,criminal, etc?
Answering the Warring Defense Agencies Objection
Tom Woods Says Limited Government is an Oxymoron
The most important attempt in this century to rebut anarchism and to justify the State fails totally and in each of its parts.
Contract Law Explained in One Video
Anarcho-Capitalist Reference/FAQ List
Ignored: Xerographica+Travlyr.
A guy walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic, and it is destroying his family.
Hold on - I can beat that.
A guy with a wife (who stays at home out of necessity) and five kids (all of who are handicapped) walks into a bar... but it's after 2am so he can't legally purchase any alcohol. After a half-hour of boredom, he leaves, only to be hit and killed on the road by a drunk driver.
fixed
Rehab is for quitters.
Liberty is lost through complacency and a subservient mindset. When we accept or even welcome automobile checkpoints, random searches, mandatory identification cards, and paramilitary police in our streets, we have lost a vital part of our American heritage. America was born of protest, revolution, and mistrust of government. Subservient societies neither maintain nor deserve freedom for long.
Ron Paul 2004
Registered Ron Paul supporter # 2202
It's all about Freedom
Why don't cannibals eat clowns ?
They taste funny
Liberty is lost through complacency and a subservient mindset. When we accept or even welcome automobile checkpoints, random searches, mandatory identification cards, and paramilitary police in our streets, we have lost a vital part of our American heritage. America was born of protest, revolution, and mistrust of government. Subservient societies neither maintain nor deserve freedom for long.
Ron Paul 2004
Registered Ron Paul supporter # 2202
It's all about Freedom
My lesbian neighbors got me a Rolex..
I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.
Last edited by dannno; 02-15-2011 at 12:22 PM.
"He's talkin' to his gut like it's a person!!" -me
"dumpster diving isn't professional." - angelatc
"You don't need a medical degree to spot obvious bullshit, that's actually a separate skill." -Scott Adams
"When you are divided, and angry, and controlled, you target those 'different' from you, not those responsible [controllers]" -Q
"Each of us must choose which course of action we should take: education, conventional political action, or even peaceful civil disobedience to bring about necessary changes. But let it not be said that we did nothing." - Ron Paul
"Paul said "the wave of the future" is a coalition of anti-authoritarian progressive Democrats and libertarian Republicans in Congress opposed to domestic surveillance, opposed to starting new wars and in favor of ending the so-called War on Drugs."
lmao, good one!
Contrary to what you may have seen on porn sites, real lesbians aren't attractive. I get hired by lesbians ALL the time to solve their pest problems. The best looking of them so far looked a bit like Susan B Anthony, which is to say that while they might have been attractive as teenagers, and while they have kept their figures, their bitterness at the world has turned their features harsh.
The cheerful lesbians are all fat and rather manly looking.
The lesbians in your porn shows are really hetero, who do girl on girl scenes for the money. A few of them may be bi-curious, but they aren't full on lesbian.
CPT Jack. R. T.
US Army Resigned - Iraq Vet.
Level III MACP instructor, USYKA/WYKKO sensei
Professional Hunter/Trapper/Country living survivalist.
As god breathed life into Adam, Adam awoke, and God asked "Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news first?"
Adam said, "Let's have the good news."
God replied, "I have seen fit to give you both a brain and a penis."
Adam was ecstatic, "WOW! That's GREAT news! What could possibly be bad after that?"
God answered, "Unfortunately, you can only operate one at a time."
CPT Jack. R. T.
US Army Resigned - Iraq Vet.
Level III MACP instructor, USYKA/WYKKO sensei
Professional Hunter/Trapper/Country living survivalist.
What do you call an anorexic women with a yeast infection?
Quarter Pounder with cheese...
Wow, you think my sole experience with girls who are attracted to each other is from porn sites?? I live in CA.. there are a lot of girls who are a lot more than bi-curious who are really hot.. it is harder to find really hot girls who are just straight lesbian, but there were quite a few at my college a few years ago.
In fact there is girl on girl action that occurs in my very house almost on a weekly basis.. both girls are bi and very attractive. But the point is a 'bi' girl can decide to date a lesbian or another 'bi' girl and effectively be my lesbian neighbors.
Last edited by dannno; 02-15-2011 at 01:02 PM.
"He's talkin' to his gut like it's a person!!" -me
"dumpster diving isn't professional." - angelatc
"You don't need a medical degree to spot obvious bullshit, that's actually a separate skill." -Scott Adams
"When you are divided, and angry, and controlled, you target those 'different' from you, not those responsible [controllers]" -Q
"Each of us must choose which course of action we should take: education, conventional political action, or even peaceful civil disobedience to bring about necessary changes. But let it not be said that we did nothing." - Ron Paul
"Paul said "the wave of the future" is a coalition of anti-authoritarian progressive Democrats and libertarian Republicans in Congress opposed to domestic surveillance, opposed to starting new wars and in favor of ending the so-called War on Drugs."
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a
conversation. The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said
" So why are you here ? "
The yellow Lab replied, " I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the sofa, the
curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed
in the middle of my owner's bed."
The black Lab said, " So what?s the vet going to do ? "
" Gonna cut my nuts off " came the reply from the yellow Lab.
"They reckon it'll calm me down."
The Yellow Lab then turned to the Black Lab and asked " why are you here ?"
The Black Lab said, " I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and
trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets.
But
I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owners'
couch."
" So what are they going to do to you ? " the Yellow Lab inquired.
" Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Black Lab said.
The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, " Why are you here?
" I'm a humper," said the Great Dane. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a
pillow, the table, fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see."
Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry
her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and
started hammering away."
The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, " So,
it's nutsoff for you too, huh ?"
The Great Dane said, " No, apparently I'm here to get my nails clipped !
Diversity finds unity in the message of freedom.
Dilige et quod vis fac. ~ Saint Augustine
"I'll believe in good cops when they start turning bad cops in."
Best joke of thread thus far!
Why did the frog cross the road?
because he was stapled to the chicken.
--
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Smartburglars.
Smartburglars who?
Smartburglars dont knock.
Last edited by nayjevin; 02-15-2011 at 01:26 PM.
I'm a moderator, and I'm glad to help. But I'm an individual -- my words come from me. Any idiocy within should reflect on me, not Ron Paul, and not Ron Paul Forums.
A guy walks into a bar and sees some chimpanzees telling a joke:
Last edited by Danke; 02-15-2011 at 01:20 PM.
Pfizer Macht Frei!
Openly Straight Man, Danke, Awarded Top Rated Influencer. Community Standards Enforcer.
Quiz: Test Your "Income" Tax IQ!
Short Income Tax Video
The Income Tax Is An Excise, And Excise Taxes Are Privilege Taxes
The Federalist Papers, No. 15:
Except as to the rule of appointment, the United States have an indefinite discretion to make requisitions for men and money; but they have no authority to raise either by regulations extending to the individual citizens of America.
heheh cute!
Diversity finds unity in the message of freedom.
Dilige et quod vis fac. ~ Saint Augustine
"I'll believe in good cops when they start turning bad cops in."
Among the most ridiculous generalizations I've ever read here. I've met many very attractive lesbians and bi-sexual women, none of them porn stars.
You should have said, "I've only met unattractive lesbians. Your results may vary."
C'mon guys - get off the lesbo-train derail! I wanna read some jokes I can use.
Diversity finds unity in the message of freedom.
Dilige et quod vis fac. ~ Saint Augustine
"I'll believe in good cops when they start turning bad cops in."
You're one to talk with you're bestiallity smut...
JK, I laughed at the human-dog doggy style joke.
Hump hump hump.
The Aristocrats!
Spread the word: Gold as Unpegged Legal Tender (GAULT) | PMBug's Vault (Articles)
A Koala Bear walks into a bar...
..sits down and orders a drink. A sexy, scantily clad woman walks up to him and says, "Hey, big fella, wanna date?"
The Koala Bear shrugs his shoulders, says, "Sure!" and accompanies her back to a nearby hourly motel.
She take off all her clothes, and the Koala Bear proceeds to perform oral sex on her. After about half an hour, he gets up, and starts to walk out the door.
"Hey!! Where are you going?" she screams.
"I'm leaving," says the Koala Bear.
"You can't just leave! I'm a prostitute!" says the prostitute.
"I don't understand," he says.
She throws a dictionary at him. "Look up prostitute and read the definition to me."
Thumbing through, he says, "Ok, Prostitute, a woman who gets paid for sex."
"See! She says.
"Well, $#@! you, I'm a Koala Bear. Look it up and read it back to me."
"Koala Bear," she read, " a little furry animal that eats bush and leaves."
me has naughty sense of humor
Diversity finds unity in the message of freedom.
Dilige et quod vis fac. ~ Saint Augustine
"I'll believe in good cops when they start turning bad cops in."
I'm sending that one to my Mom.
Diversity finds unity in the message of freedom.
Dilige et quod vis fac. ~ Saint Augustine
"I'll believe in good cops when they start turning bad cops in."
"I wish there was an infestation of Koala Bears.. it would be the cutest infestation ever!!" -R.I.P. Mitch Hedberg
"He's talkin' to his gut like it's a person!!" -me
"dumpster diving isn't professional." - angelatc
"You don't need a medical degree to spot obvious bullshit, that's actually a separate skill." -Scott Adams
"When you are divided, and angry, and controlled, you target those 'different' from you, not those responsible [controllers]" -Q
"Each of us must choose which course of action we should take: education, conventional political action, or even peaceful civil disobedience to bring about necessary changes. But let it not be said that we did nothing." - Ron Paul
"Paul said "the wave of the future" is a coalition of anti-authoritarian progressive Democrats and libertarian Republicans in Congress opposed to domestic surveillance, opposed to starting new wars and in favor of ending the so-called War on Drugs."
Donald Rumsfeld walks into a bar and sees George Bush sitting there.
He sits down next to Bush, and tells Bush he has some unfortunate news...that 2 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq that same morning.
Bush immediately throws his head down into his arms and starts weeping uncontrollably...
Rumseld, knowing Bush to be a person that didn't show his emotions often, was dumbfounded by Bush's reaction, and asked why he was so shaken by this marginal news.
To which Bush looked up sobbing and asked, "Just how many is two brazilian?"
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