THought this would be appropriate given the times we are in:
-Major General Smedley Butler, USMC,There are only two things we should fight for. One is the defense of our homes and the other is the Bill of Rights. War for any other reason is simply a racket.
Two-Time Congressional Medal of Honor Winner
Author of, War is a Racket!
- Diogenes of SinopeIt is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours.
What do you call alternative energy sources that have been proven cost effective?
Energy sources.
There are no crimes against people.
There are only crimes against the state.
And the state will never, ever choose to hold accountable its agents, because a thing can not commit a crime against itself.
What is the difference between ass-kissing and brown-nosing?
Depth perception.
Originally Posted by timosman
1776 > 1984
The FAILURE of the United States Government to operate and maintain an Honest Money System , which frees the ordinary man from the clutches of the money manipulators, is the single largest contributing factor to the World's current Economic Crisis.
The Elimination of Privacy is the Architecture of Genocide
Belief, Money, and Violence are the three ways all people are controlled
Son just gave birth to another government employee and wiped with policy...
Hillary Clinton thought she was going to win...
she didn't.
-insert canned laughter here-
A millennial, a fake news reporter, and a SJW walk into a bar. What does the bartender say to them? Get the f#@k out!
One day an elderly couple was out for an afternoon drive had to and stopped for gas.
Attendant: " Would you like me to check the oil?" Wife: "What did he say?" Husband: "He wants to know if I want the oil checked."
Attendant: "Would you like me to top up the washer fluid?" Wife: "What did he say?" Husband: "He wants to know if I want the fluids topped up."
When the attendant heard them talking, he asked, "By the way, where are you from?" The husband replied, "We are from New York." "Oh," said the attendant. "Years ago I was in New york and had the worst love affair ever."
The wife said, "What did he say?" Husband: "He thinks he knows you."
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'
Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family, so call me The President.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him . He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.
So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now. '
The father says, 'good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'
The little boy replies, 'The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep $#@!.
Hillary Clinton indicted.
A tourist walked into a Chinese curio shop in San Francisco. While looking around at the exotic merchandise, he noticed a very lifelike, life-sized, bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but was so incredibly striking the tourist decided he must have it. He took it to the old shop owner and asked, "How much for the bronze rat?”
"Ahhh, you have chosen wisely! It is $12 for the rat and $100 for the story," said the wise old man.
The tourist quickly pulled out twelve dollars. “I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story.”
As he walked down the street carrying his bronze rat, the tourist noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the alleys and sewers and had begun following him down the street. This was a bit disconcerting so he began walking faster.
A couple blocks later he looked behind him and saw to his horror the herd of rats behind him had grown to hundreds, and they began squealing.
Sweating now, the tourist began to trot toward San Francisco Bay.
Again, after a couple blocks, he looked around only to discover that the rats now numbered in the MILLIONS, and were squealing and coming toward him faster and faster.
Terrified, he ran to the edge of the Bay and threw the bronze rat as far as he could into the Bay.
Amazingly, the millions of rats all jumped into the Bay after the bronze rat and were all drowned.
The man walked back to the curio shop in Chinatown.
"Ahhh," said the owner, "You come back for story ?"
"No sir," said the man, “I came back to see if you have a bronze Democrat.”
Disclaimer: any post made after midnight and before 8AM is made before the coffee dip stick has come up to optomim level - expect some level of silliness,
The problems we face today exist because the people who work for a living are out numbered by those who vote for a living !!!!!!!
Stock Market Alert
Normally I avoid discussing any advice received from our broker, but I felt this is important enough to share and warn you since this explosive situation might prove to be yet another market crash.
Please review any holdings you might have in the following stocks:
American Can
Interstate Water
National Gas Company
Northern Tissue Company
Due to uncertain market conditions, we advise you to sit tight on your American Can, hold your Water, and let go of your Gas. You may be interested to know that Northern Tissue touched a new bottom today, and millions were wiped clean.
It's a tough market out there. Be careful.
Last edited by shakey1; 03-24-2017 at 09:10 AM.
Why did God make women 30% smarter than cows?
So when you play with their tits they don't $#@! on the floor.
Another from my Ma;
> SOUTHERN DIVORCE
>
> A judge was interviewing a South Carolina woman regarding her pending
> divorce and asks, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
> "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the
> property with a stream running by."
> "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
> "It is made of concrete, brick, and mortar," she responded.
> "I mean," he continued, "what are your relations like?"
> "I have an aunt and uncle and 12 cousins living here in town, as well
> as my husband's parents."
> The judge took a deep breath and asked,
> "Do you have a real grudge?"
> "No, we have a two-car carport and have never really needed one cuz
> we don't have a car."
> "Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
> "Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily
> like the music - all that hip hop and rap trap -but we can't seem to
> do anything about it."
> "Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
> "Yes, he gets up every morning before I do and makes the coffee."
> The judge asked, "Is your husband a nagger?"
> "Oh, hell no, he's as white as you and me!"
> Finally, in frustration, the judge asked,
> "Lady, why in hell do you want a divorce?
> "Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a
> divorce, my husband does.
> The fool says he can't communicate with me."
What's the difference between a man and a margarita?
SO WHO IS DOING THE WORK?
The population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are ! 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 15 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden.
Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188, 000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And there you are,
sitting on your ass,
at your computer, reading jokes.
Don't need a weather man to know which way the wind blows
Two penguins are sitting on an iceberg.
First penguin turns and looks at the other and says "Hey, looks like your wearing a tuxedo".
Second penguin says "What makes you think i'm not"?
The Creature from Jekyll Island:
We're being governed ruled by a geriatric Alzheimer patient/puppet whose strings are being pulled by an elitist oligarchy who believe they can manage the world... imagine the utter maniacal, sociopathic hubris!
Whats read and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.
The Creature from Jekyll Island:
We're being governed ruled by a geriatric Alzheimer patient/puppet whose strings are being pulled by an elitist oligarchy who believe they can manage the world... imagine the utter maniacal, sociopathic hubris!
An FBI Supervisor Walks Into A Bar.....
An F.B.I. counterterrorism supervisor is under internal investigation after a woman stole his gun following a night of heavy drinking in a North Carolina hotel, according to documents and government officials.
In July, Robert Manson, a unit chief in the F.B.I.’s international terrorism section, had his Glock .40-caliber handgun, a $6,000 Rolex watch and $60 in cash stolen from his room at the Westin hotel in Charlotte, N.C., according to a police report.
“Investigators determined that the victim, Robert Manson, met a woman in the hotel bar the prior night and took her back to his hotel room,” Robert Tufano, a spokesman for the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department, said in a statement.
At 6:30 the next morning, police officers for the department were called to the hotel. Mr. Manson was incapacitated because of alcohol, according to the police report, which he did not file himself. A fellow agent, Kevin Thuman, gave the report, which says the theft happened from 2 a.m. to 5 a.m. The hotel bar closes at 2 a.m.
Adding to the hilarity of the event, while they failed to disclose it originally, Manson's fellow agents later told the police that the women they had been boozing with the night before were exotic dancers. Oddly, that little detail didn't make it into the official police report.
Of course, no arrest has been made to date but we're sure the FBI is thoroughly enjoying the investigation into Charlotte's finest establishments...
Here is the full police report for your amusement
More at: http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2017-1...lex-no-dignity
Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.
Robert Heinlein
Give a man an inch and right away he thinks he's a ruler
Groucho Marx
I love mankind…it’s people I can’t stand.
Linus, from the Peanuts comic
You cannot have liberty without morality and morality without faith
Alexis de Torqueville
Those who fail to learn from the past are condemned to repeat it.
Those who learn from the past are condemned to watch everybody else repeat it
A Zero Hedge comment
Do you know why the animal court judge would allow the bird to post bail?
Bird was a flight risk.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
<arghhkgahk>
"And now that the legislators and do-gooders have so futilely inflicted so many systems upon society, may they finally end where they should have begun: May they reject all systems, and try liberty; for liberty is an acknowledgment of faith in God and His works." - Bastiat
"It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere." - Voltaire
Ha ha ha! Kind of reminds me of this one:What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
<arghhkgahk>
Things never to say to a cop
Driver: Officer, I know why you pulled me over! You're gonna try to sell me tickets to the Annual Police Officers Ball!
Cop: Police don't have BALLS!
Driver and Cop: <uncomfortable pause>
Cop: Have a nice day citizen.
---
(I cant believe this thread is still alive!)
1776 > 1984
The FAILURE of the United States Government to operate and maintain an Honest Money System , which frees the ordinary man from the clutches of the money manipulators, is the single largest contributing factor to the World's current Economic Crisis.
The Elimination of Privacy is the Architecture of Genocide
Belief, Money, and Violence are the three ways all people are controlled
Fred was driving home from one of his business trips in Indiana, when he saw an elderly Injun walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, he stopped the car and asked the Injun named @oyarde if he would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the Oyarde got into the car. Fred tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Man. He just sat there silently looking intently a everything he saw, studying every little detail, until he noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Fred. “What in bag?” asked the old Injun man. Fred looked down at the brown bag and said “It’s a bottle of wine. I got it for my wife.” Oyarde was silent for another moment or two.Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, he said, ”Good trade…”
Last edited by Danke; 03-15-2018 at 11:36 PM.
Pfizer Macht Frei!
Openly Straight Man, Danke, Awarded Top Rated Influencer. Community Standards Enforcer.
Quiz: Test Your "Income" Tax IQ!
Short Income Tax Video
The Income Tax Is An Excise, And Excise Taxes Are Privilege Taxes
The Federalist Papers, No. 15:
Except as to the rule of appointment, the United States have an indefinite discretion to make requisitions for men and money; but they have no authority to raise either by regulations extending to the individual citizens of America.
What's the difference between the government and The Mafia ?
Physicist Werner Heisenberg was driving down the road when he was pulled over for speeding by a highway patrolman.
Patrolman: Do you know how fast you were going?
Heisenberg: No, but I know where I am.
We have long had death and taxes as the two standards of inevitability. But there are those who believe that death is the preferable of the two. "At least," as one man said, "there's one advantage about death; it doesn't get worse every time Congress meets."
Erwin N. Griswold
Taxes: Of life's two certainties, the only one for which you can get an automatic extension.
Anonymous
Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.
Robert Heinlein
Give a man an inch and right away he thinks he's a ruler
Groucho Marx
I love mankind…it’s people I can’t stand.
Linus, from the Peanuts comic
You cannot have liberty without morality and morality without faith
Alexis de Torqueville
Those who fail to learn from the past are condemned to repeat it.
Those who learn from the past are condemned to watch everybody else repeat it
A Zero Hedge comment
Proof That Men Do Remember
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of cocoa in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his hot cocoa. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up from his cocoa, "It's the 20th anniversary of the day we met." She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up. The husband continues, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating? I was 18 and you were only 16," he says solemnly. Once again, the wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies. The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?" "Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continued, "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years?'" "I remember that, too," she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have gotten out today." Then the fight started!!
Pfizer Macht Frei!
Openly Straight Man, Danke, Awarded Top Rated Influencer. Community Standards Enforcer.
Quiz: Test Your "Income" Tax IQ!
Short Income Tax Video
The Income Tax Is An Excise, And Excise Taxes Are Privilege Taxes
The Federalist Papers, No. 15:
Except as to the rule of appointment, the United States have an indefinite discretion to make requisitions for men and money; but they have no authority to raise either by regulations extending to the individual citizens of America.
Both Trump and Clinton believe in liberty and freedom.
I am very excited...
I have just formed a new rock band.
We call ourselves...
999 Mega Bytes.
We sound great...
And can't wait to start playing.
We just have not got a Gig yet.
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
Connect With Us