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Thread: Mentally Challenged Florida Man on Fox News: "Ron Paul is Certifiably Insane"

  1. #1

    Mentally Challenged Florida Man on Fox News: "Ron Paul is Certifiably Insane"

    Mentally Challenged Florida Man on Fox News: "Ron Paul is Certifiably Insane"
    Written by funwithwords
    Story written: 22 October 2007

    Eyewitness News 9, Orlando, Florida -- The Fox News Presidential pre-debate show of pre-screened "undecided voters" featured an alleged Florida voter with a long history of mental developmental issues earlier this evening.

    "Ron Paul is certifiably insane," the man blurted out uncontrollably as pollster Frank Luntz approached him with a question. As the man wiped drool from his face, he also exclaimed, "my daddy can beat Ron Paul up too," before the camera abruptly turned away.

    After the debates, we decided to catch up with the man so as to interview him ourselves. What we found surprised us as this was apparently the same 36 year old man that can be seen walking the streets of Orlando at all hours of the day -- and has done so for years.

    "Oh yeah, I knew who he was as soon as I saw him on TV," chuckled a local 7-11 clerk, "he comes in here all the time and buys the same candy necklaces most everyday." Asked if she'd ever witnessed him lash out as he did during the pre-debate show on Fox News, the manager noted, "well, I think he's probably harmless, but he pretty much blurts stuff out to lots of people. Most people around here are accustomed to it -- I've never seen him actually try to hurt anybody though. He lives just down the street with his mom and dad."

    The clerk went on to speculate, "I think he gets those random phrases from family members."

    We also caught up with a participant of the pre-debate show, ironically a Ron Paul supporter. "I was really surprised that they put that guy in there with us," she stated. "I was sitting very close to him and as soon as he went off like that, I found it disturbing. I decided to keep my support for Paul to myself at that point so as not to risk another outburst on live television directed at me," the participant went on to explain. "Of course, I could tell he was a little slow just by looking at him, but I didn't want to take any chances."

    After digging a little deeper, it seems that pollster Frank Luntz is no stranger to controversy himself. However, placing a mentally challenged man prone to uncontrolled outbursts on live television with a room full of Florida's undecided voters was, perhaps, a new low for even Frank Luntz and Fox News....

    The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.
    Freedom from the government!
    Freedom from the boss!
    And freedom from everyone else!
    Check out Holistic Politics for more info.



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  3. #2
    The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

    You saw that, right?

  4. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by pazzo83 View Post
    The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

    You saw that, right?
    Umm...yeah, I did. Did you?

    Did you really think anyone with their brain on would think otherwise?

    Man, seriously, every time I post satire here I wonder if we all don't need funny bone implants.
    Freedom from the government!
    Freedom from the boss!
    And freedom from everyone else!
    Check out Holistic Politics for more info.

  5. #4
    well the guy was a freeper...so the title isn't that far off

  6. #5
    Man, seriously, every time I post satire here I wonder if we all don't need funny bone implants.
    Yeah, many people are very serious on this board. We need to lighten up a bit.

  7. #6

  8. #7
    I do not understand. Why would you want to purposly misslead us with a title like that? If this story is all a lie, then why even post it?

  9. #8

    Red face

    I almost feel rick roll'd after reading the last line, haha.



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  11. #9
    It being true would be far funnier.

  12. #10

  13. #11
    I'd like to know if the guy is a psychiatrist...

    Because if he isn't, he's not qualified to determine the legal, certifiable insanity of ANY person.
    "None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free." -Göthe
    "All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
    "Government is a disease masquerading as its own cure." - Robert LeFevre

  14. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by reduen View Post
    I do not understand. Why would you want to purposly misslead us with a title like that? If this story is all a lie, then why even post it?
    Mislead you? It was the title of the damn story I was posting. Holy $#@!!
    Freedom from the government!
    Freedom from the boss!
    And freedom from everyone else!
    Check out Holistic Politics for more info.

  15. #13
    thanks drnozone!
    Dude, I'm rich! Check out this tin can! Uber wealth, ftw!



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