Recent news warned that a sufficient percent of young kids were so fat that they would be unsuitable for military service. Who would have guessed that a solution to perpetual war would have presented itself in such a form, or that the obesity epidemic could be a good thing? BON APPETIT!

Hey Trey and Matt, you reading? What great material for an episode of South Park! And maybe portraying the future US military as a bunch of incompetent fat angry profane troops would grant you a reprieve from the current Islamic ire.