Well ... let's at least wait until after the monkeys are done with California ...
If monkey dared chuck poo at me I would respond with irresistible fecal flinging. I would gather feces from my dog, my neihbor, my cat, and my neighbors cat and return fire. That monkey's fur would be so shit laden he would not be able to walk. I would eat a bag of hot cheetos and get down right chemical with my poop slinging.
I would hook up a pump to the public sewer and spew high velocity poop at that dirty monkey,
Just finished up a "light" read. Pretty funky.
http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1355175463l/13353667.jpg