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  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    Today, 09:17 AM
    Muh Dawgs better do well. I don’t give a crap about football but when they’re winning, I make bank. GA fans know how to party and don’t mind spending money as long as the Dawgs are winning.
    4 replies | 66 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    Today, 07:41 AM
    My mom made scared of weeping willows. When I was little, she told me if you planted one you would die when it got big enough to shade your grave.
    30 replies | 275 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    Today, 07:28 AM
    Beautiful day. I was right. Momís toenails were ghetto, af. When we got to the expensive Mexican restaurant, I went to the ladies rom and my mom accidentally ordered me a pitcher of margaritas instead of just one. We got a little buzzed and she kept calling my phone at the mall when we were shopping. I was standing right there but she thought she was lost. I told her not to worry, I wouldnít let a stranger take her drunk ass and if they did, Iíd put out a Matti s Call for her. I wasnít looking for anything but I take her because she canít see sizes and she trusts me to tell her if something makes her ass look sad. Poor pocket placement on jeans can give you sad ass if youíre not careful. She ended up going for jeans but bought a pair of old lady comfort shoes and a pair of sparkly Booties to wear dancing and gambling this winter. I hate to tell her but those shoes arenít going to fit when she cuts those creepy ass toenails.
    1803 replies | 169476 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    Today, 07:12 AM
    Brian Setzer
    1803 replies | 169476 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    Yesterday, 07:43 AM
    Beautiful day. I’m planning on riding out mama animal’s house and we’re going shopping and having dinner. She wants to eat at this fancy Mexican joint near her house. The food’s good but it’s expensive and my mom is a master of disappearing when the bill comes. She always orders the most expensive thing on the menu, too. It’s annoying because she barely eats. I swear the woman barley weighs 100 l swear and 90% of her diet is pink wine and high blood pressure medication. How does someone who drinks that much have high blood pressure? She’s going to be happy because I’m surprising her with a new pair of cute shoes. I hope they fit her. She wears a 1/2 size smaller than me so I usually try them on and if I can get them on but they’re a tad too tight then they fit her but it’s summer and she keeps her toenails long because she has short toes and she thinks they look better in sandals when they’re long. They don’t. They look weird as hell. She gets mad when I tease her but she bitches that her close toe shoes don’t fit and doesn’t seem to get that it’s because she has crazy ass toenails. O_o
    1803 replies | 169476 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    Yesterday, 07:25 AM
    When I say I like shiny stuff, I suppose I should be more specific.
    9 replies | 352 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    08-19-2019, 11:05 PM
    We had a lot of thunder and wind last night but no rain. Tonight we got some rain and I heard a tree fall at the back of our property. Since losing the craptop Iíve gotten addicted to iPhone games. I was annoying mr a playing my game while he was trying to watch tv. Maybe if I bug him enough, heíll buy me a computer.
    1803 replies | 169476 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    08-19-2019, 11:05 PM
    We had a lot of thunder and wind last night but no rain. Tonight we got some rain and I heard a tree fall at the back of our property. Since losing the craptop I’ve gotten addicted to iPhone games. I was annoying mr a playing my game while he was trying to watch tv. Maybe if I bug him enough, he’ll buy me a computer.
    1803 replies | 169476 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    08-18-2019, 03:05 PM
    Unregulated cuddling. Does TheTexan know about this?
    13 replies | 200 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    08-16-2019, 07:44 PM
    Fucking h*t (better?) again today.
    1803 replies | 169476 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    08-16-2019, 07:06 PM
    It's a negotiation tactic, for sure. I've used it to weasel my way out of a bind or two.
    60 replies | 548 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    08-15-2019, 11:49 AM
    Fucking hot. I had to go to a dumbass employee meeting this morning and Then I had to pick up my kids to go to the grocery store. I didnít have to pick them up but I donít like to load and unload groceries so I make them go. It was too hot to even buy a computer. Since I have to work the next few days, it looks like Iím going to be on my phone or on Mr Aís computer - if heís at work. Iím not supposed to be on it but I sneak on it when heís not here. His computer is fast as hell. I can have a lot of tabs open and play videos. I need one like his but a laptop because I like to sit outside.
    1803 replies | 169476 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    08-15-2019, 11:32 AM
    Probably causes cancer in CA
    6 replies | 112 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    08-15-2019, 09:47 AM
    There was also drunk Zippy. He told me he liked rum. I suspected he drank on the job.
    23 replies | 292 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    08-15-2019, 09:42 AM
    So often, I see people charged with resisting arrest and nothing else. Ridiculous. No it won't.
    16 replies | 245 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    08-14-2019, 09:32 PM
    Lol, I don’t have important files on my computer. Mr A has files. I just have memes, cookies, and probably a few viruses on mine. It sounds like disk errors are bad and I’m just going to have to buy a new one. That sucks. I hate buying computers.
    121 replies | 2988 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    08-14-2019, 08:55 PM
    My craptop has been stuck on repairing disk errors since Monday night. The screen says it might take over an hour to complete but this is ridiculous. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve turned it on and off a few times and unplugged it a few times and it just went back to repairing disk errors mode. Posting on my phone sucks and I just noticed the expanded emojis don’t even show up. Before I chuck it and buy another one, does anyone know how to get out of repairing disk errors mode on a cheap ass Toshiba laptop?
    121 replies | 2988 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    08-14-2019, 06:47 AM
    You wouldn't even buy a slut drinks with a crew discount? I ain't going anywhere with your cheap ass.
    71 replies | 958 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    08-14-2019, 06:20 AM
    Only related by marriage. Definitely creepy but I'm not sure anyone got more than a feel from him. It rained really hard last night. We even lost power.
    1803 replies | 169476 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    08-13-2019, 09:34 PM
    Got up and in the 100’s today. It was hot as hades. Mr A took me to a craft beer (my favorite crafts) show at the Variety Playhouse in Little Five Points. I swear I that whole neighborhood smells like a horrible combination of pachouli oil, urine, and vomit. The heat didn’t help. The beer was great. My favorites were the vanilla and coffee stouts which isn’t surprising because most of the other beers were IPAs *gag*. I’m ready for the IPA trend to be over. Mr A was happy they had Fox BBQ cater. Fox is isn’t my favorite but they had stinky cheese trays with fancy candied figs that I couldn’t stop eating. I’m a great lover of stinky cheeses. I have to admit, Mr A was impressive. He knows a lot about craft beers. I knew he liked them but I had no idea he was so knowledgeable about the techniques the different brewers use and peat and hops and barrels . The only thing I knew was was that Creature Comforts was out of Athens and I only knew that because the rep came in the bar when we put Tropicalia on draft and we chatted. CC Trop is a gross IPA loved by the redneck hipsters. Mr A tasted it and also thought it was gross.
    1803 replies | 169476 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    08-13-2019, 04:16 AM
    I think craptop died. Posting from ☎️ The screen is small but I like the expand d emoji selection ����������
    121 replies | 2988 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    08-13-2019, 03:35 AM
    Danke, this could be me and you but if you keep calling me a slut, I might have to find somewhere else to retire.
    141 replies | 1570 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    08-12-2019, 01:50 PM
    --rep
    141 replies | 1570 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    21 replies | 433 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    08-12-2019, 08:26 AM
    But she's a cheetah.
    424 replies | 18533 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    08-12-2019, 07:20 AM
    Today is Aug 12. Today, my car insurance was due. August is National Romance Month. I'm hoping Mr A will buy me some flowers or something shiny but I think his cheap ass is just going to take me to the free liquor tasting tomorrow and get me drunk and try to get in my knickers.
    569 replies | 31182 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    08-12-2019, 07:11 AM
    Those shorts came from the Walmart. I have the exact pair - they're Faded Glory brand.
    141 replies | 1570 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    08-12-2019, 04:45 AM
    Danke is dating again
    325 replies | 10665 view(s)
  • Suzanimal's Avatar
    08-12-2019, 04:39 AM
    There's only been one incestident in my family - that I know of. My whore cousin Georgia bumped uglies with a druggie cousin Darren. Druggie cousin was adopted so I'm not sure if that counts. My whore cousin was the first person to get me drunk. I spent the night at her house when I was 13 and she fixed me a bunch of gin and cokes. That was nasty. Tasted like Pine Sol. I only drank it because I wanted to be cool. Then I got hungry and ate a bunch of carrots and puked. It was a long time before I could eat raw carrots again and I still won't drink gin.
    1803 replies | 169476 view(s)
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