Urgent Request: Please Critique a New Ad for Norhtern CA

[linusPAULing]

This was another RP forums collaboration. I want to sincerely thank countryB4party for helping out on this ad.

We already feel that the 3 lines of text near the bottom (Please vote for ...) are too crowded and need to be changed. What do you think about the content?

Do the securing of borders, amnesty, and visa laws bullets unnecessarily stir up the concerns in CA about racism?

The deadline for completion is early tomorrow morning.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2150/2209494237_6bdcb8c417.jpg?v=0

Thanks

[airtronx]

The content never addresses the WIIFM (what's in it for me) for Californians.

the top paragraph doesn't address the reader at all, it just starts shitting on the current administration.

the bottom paragraph will never be read, and that call to action at the bottom is as weak as "would you like fries with that?"



Can I please contribute to this piece? I will work on it with you if you'll pm me. There's enough there that I think I can put something together with you guys by tonight.


let me know.

[HOLLYWOOD]

Have you sent it out to all the Northern California Ron Paul MEETUP.com Groups?

That would be a good start for local input that know the demographics, etc.

[linusPAULing]

The content never addresses the WIIFM (what's in it for me) for Californians.

the top paragraph doesn't address the reader at all, it just starts shitting on the current administration.


The quote is designed to emphasize the degree of excessive spending that happens overseas. This occurs with all administrations that are overextended overseas... which means that in modern history this has happened with all administrations. Overseas spending is what Ron Paul wants to slash in order to
eliminate the income tax.



the bottom paragraph will never be read, and that call to action at the bottom is as weak as "would you like fries with that?"

We agree about the call to action. It will be changed to something like

"Reclaim America by voting for Ron Paul in the Republican Presidential Primary, February 5"


Can I please contribute to this piece? I will work on it with you if you'll pm me. There's enough there that I think I can put something together with you guys by tonight.

let me know.

So unfortunately, there is little time to make wholesale changes, as the newspaper has the copy and will only have time for small text changes. Thus, only tweaks are possible.

New quotes might be a possibility.

Here's one point I'd like to make. The economy is the BIG issue for people, and the housing bust is a huge part of that. I think it is wise to point out to voters that Ron Paul saw the housing bust coming as soon as 2002 and tried to do something about it.

Thus the last quote.

[linusPAULing]

Have you sent it out to all the Northern California Ron Paul MEETUP.com Groups?

That would be a good start for local input that know the demographics, etc.

Certainly my meetup has a pointer to it.

[hueylong]

I think it's great -- but you have to get rid of the Waxman quote. Republicans hate Waxman and the California primary is closed -- only Republicans.

You should be able to find a good quote on government waste from a Republican -- Dr. Paul if possible.

[linusPAULing]

I think it's great -- but you have to get rid of the Waxman quote. Republicans hate Waxman and the California primary is closed -- only Republicans.

You should be able to find a good quote on government waste from a Republican -- Dr. Paul if possible.

Ok... cool! I wondered about that myself.

I've been looking for one of RP's famous quotes about slashing expenditures by bringing troops home from 700 bases in 130 countries worldwide. They all seem a bit rambly unfortunately.


If anyone has a coherent version of that quote I'd love to see it.

[CountryB4Party]

Linus, please check your e-mail. Thanks.

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