what would you do with your two cows

[remaxjon]

stole this from hailredskins.com who I'm sure stole from somewhere else.

Economic Models explained with Cows

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL
You have two cows.
You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

[Mesogen]

Classic!
:D

[angelatc]

I could live with the AUstralian model.

[jjschless]

AMERICA (as the media would have it)
You have 2 cows.
Hey did you hear about Paris Hilton?
Homeland Security raised the terror level to PLAID!
Tony Snow: "There are no cows and have never been any cows."

You forget you have 2 cows.

You think you might have Restless leg syndrome.
Sean Hannity tells you that cows are the devil.
Tony Snow: "You know this talk of cows is just an attempt at partisan theater. We have never said there were no cows. The administration fully acknowledges the existence of cows but states that the cows are covered under executive privilege."

You remember that you have 2 cows.

The Federal Reserve has an event to take care of the problem of too many cows and with a hastily passed bill order you to give them your cows in return for a Federal Cow Note.

Tony Snow: "There are no cows."
You buy 2 hamburgers with your 2 Federal Cow Notes.

"OMG did you hear? The Dollar store is having a sale! Every thing is a dollar!"
The Fed: "There was an accounting error and we lost nearly all the cows."

[Revolution9]

I would sell my two cows for a horse, a rifle and ammo, food supplies and a large bag of seedless female hemp flowers and buds and go prospecting.

Best Regards
Randy

"Think different"
"The 20th Century will be a century of "isms"" - Some German guy in the 1800's

[Revolution9]

AMERICA (as the media would have it)
You have 2 cows.
Hey did you hear about Paris Hilton?
Homeland Security raised the terror level to PLAID!
Tony Snow: "There are no cows and have never been any cows."

You forget you have 2 cows.

You think you might have Restless leg syndrome.
Sean Hannity tells you that cows are the devil.
Tony Snow: "You know this talk of cows is just an attempt at partisan theater. We have never said there were no cows. The administration fully acknowledges the existence of cows but states that the cows are covered under executive privilege."

You remember that you have 2 cows.

The Federal Reserve has an event to take care of the problem of too many cows and with a hastily passed bill order you to give them your cows in return for a Federal Cow Note.

Tony Snow: "There are no cows."
You buy 2 hamburgers with your 2 Federal Cow Notes.

"OMG did you hear? The Dollar store is having a sale! Every thing is a dollar!"
The Fed: "There was an accounting error and we lost nearly all the cows."

Hahahaha! Good one!

Best Regards
Randy