Soliciting Blimp Jokes For Letterman Show

[Blimp Media Coordinator]

The blimp wants to be on David Letterman, unfortunately he is too big to get in the studio, but we told him maybe Letterman would mention him in a joke. To help the Letterman staff out we thought we could submit some potential jokes to them. That is where you guys come in. We are asking blimp supporters to submit jokes that reference the Ron Paul Blimp. Important - the joke should not be about the blimp (even though he does have a very thick skin, just read some previous posts on the forum) but rather should just reference the blimp while making fun of something/someone else.

The joke will start something like this, "Did you hear Presidential candidate Ron Paul has his own blimp?" Now you write the rest using your favorite targets of the day such as Clinton, Bush, Cheney, Fox News, Romney, Paris Hilton, Huckabee, health care, Iraq, Wal-Mart while relating it back to the blimp in some way. For example, "I heard Kucinich has his own UFO"...but that was too easy, I'm sure you can be more creative. Keep the content appropriate for television.

If it all works out, we will list the best ones at www.ronpaulblimp.com and then you guys can vote on the finalists. Then we will send them to the writing staff of the Letterman show. Lets be real, they probably won't use them (saying they don't take unsolicited material), but we'll get a good laugh in the process and maybe we'll inspire the Letterman show writers to write their own jokes about the blimp. In any event, we'll still send out a press release with the top winners so maybe that will get some attention in the media.

By posting a joke you give up all rights to it and allow us to use it in any way we deem appropriate. Well what are you waiting for, the elections almost over, start posting your jokes below.

Thanks!

The Ron Paul Blimp Team

[Cali4RonPaul]

ohh.. this is cool i will try to think of something ;)
"Did you hear Presidential candidate Ron Paul has his own blimp?"
Response;

"yeah its about as big as huckabees blimpin belly pre-gastric bypass surgery, its that BIG!"

or how about

"Did you hear Presidential candidate Ron Paul has his own blimp?"
Response;

"yeah its so big its caught the eye of Paris Hilton, she would like to take a ride on it."

[Blimp Media Coordinator]

great!

[dvictr]

Did you hear presidential candidate Ron Paul has his own blimp...


"its been flying around the country for a month now; last week Britney Spears looked up in the sky and thought it was a bag of glue"

[Blimp Media Coordinator]

keep 'em coming

[Troyhand]

Top ten reasons why Ron Paul has a blimp
10. Because the Ron Paul Zamboni has been rented out until April.
9. It's a great way to bomb Hillary supporters with water balloons.
8. It came with the new Verizon cellphone plan. Didn't you get one?
7. It's fun to scare the ducks away when Huckabee's hunting. Boy, does he get pissed.
6. Shhh! It's a secret. Ron Paul plans to take over the world with it. Don't tell anybody.
5. Blimp + Paris Hilton = New Internet Porn
4. Ron Paul wants to bring the troops home...with free blimp rides.
3. Because a Rush Limbaugh blimp would be redundant.
2. That's how Washington crossed the Delaware. Wasn't it?
1. Because Ron Paul is a Republican, a Constitutionalist and a ranking member of the House Finance Committee. How else is he going to score with the chicks? Bada-Blimp, Baby!

[parocks]

Are you serious?

You really are trying to go out of your way to get Letterman to make fun of the blimp?

What is the theory behind this?

Perhaps it's a preemptive move - knowing that they'll want to cut down Ron Paul, you're providing a mechanism where they can do so, in a method that's easy for them, and doesn't really hurt us?

[parocks]

Top ten reasons why Ron Paul has blimp
10. Because the Ron Paul Zamboni has been rented out until April.
9. It's a great way to bomb Hillary supporters with water balloons.
8. It came with the new Verizon cellphone plan. Didn't you get one?
7. It's fun to scare the ducks away when Huckabee's hunting. Boy, does he get pissed.
6. Shhh! It's a secret. Ron Paul plans to take over the world with it. Don't tell anybody.
5. Blimp + Paris Hilton = New Internet Porn
4. Ron Paul wants to bring the troops home...with free blimp rides.
3. Because a Rush Limbaugh blimp would be redundant.
2. That's how Washington crossed the Delaware. Wasn't it?
1. Because Ron Paul is a Republican, a Constitutionalist and a ranking member of the House Finance Committee. How else is he going to score with the chicks? Bada-Blimp, Baby!

This is pretty funny.

[Ron2Win]

Are you serious?

You really are trying to go out of your way to get Letterman to make fun of the blimp?

What is the theory behind this?

Perhaps it's a preemptive move - knowing that they'll want to cut down Ron Paul, you're providing a mechanism where they can do so, in a method that's easy for them, and doesn't really hurt us?
Letterman said he would vote for RP in 1988.

Any exposure is good exposure, when your candidate is Ron Paul.

[Blimp Media Coordinator]

Nice Top Ten List

[Troyhand]

Thanks :)

[Ron2Win]

Nice Top Ten List
Yeah they were awesome.

[Matt Collins]

I dont think they accept joke submissions....

[Freedom]

Did you hear that Ron Paul has his own blimp?

Yeah, Ron is so thrifty in spite of the $20 million he raised last quarter, that he filled it with the hot air from all of the other candidates!

[Blimp Media Coordinator]

Yes, Matt, they probably won't accept them, but that is not enough to stop a RP supporter. Plus we will try to get press out of it some other way....but people we need more jokes. C'mon here is your chance to make fun of McRomubee, give it to them.

[Troyhand]

I dont think they accept joke submissions....

Send it to them anyway. They're more than welcome to steal any jokes we got in my opinion. Their writing's gone downhill anyway. Whatever way we can get Ron Paul exposure, we should at least try. A bunch of emails to them will at least make them more aware of the power of the Ron Paul movement.

[Carole]

Hilarious :D

[Blimp Media Coordinator]

Need more jokes :D :D :D :D Be creative for the cause!

[thehighwaymanq]

HAHAHAH Halirious top 10. Great job!

[jorlowitz]

great top 10 list.

[jorlowitz]

Did you hear that Ron Paul now has a blimp?

Yeah, he bought it at Paul-Mart (wink!)


really bad...

[TruckinMike]

I dont think they accept joke submissions....

I thought the writers were on strike. We would be doing them a service.:D

TMIKE

[The Lantern]

"Did you hear Presidential candidate Ron Paul has his own blimp?"



So what? Obama has a blimp, too. Her name is Oprah.

[Troyhand]

Dave:
The NFL has been considering hiring the Ron Paul Blimp for the offseason.
Yeah, the commissioners heard that stray dogs like to chase after the blimp when they see it in the sky. So they figure it's a good way to keep the dogs far from Michael Vick's house.

[Blimp Media Coordinator]

Always room for an Oprah zinger

[austin356]

I dont think they accept joke submissions....


I dont either...... but which guy is without his writers? Was that Leno?

[walt]

look in the mirror

[AdoubleR]

So what? Obama has a blimp, too. Her name is Oprah.

That one wins!:D

[walt]

So what? Obama has a blimp, too. Her name is Oprah.

oh yeah...

[VoluntaryMan]

Responding to persistent criticism that their candidate wasn't as full of hot air as the other Republican contenders for the Presidency, Ron Paul's grassroots campaign recently launched its own blimp.

[hawks4ronpaul]

If Letterman will not read the top 10 list, maybe RP can.

Because it's the only type of inflation he likes.

Obscure:
Because his running mate will be Jules Verne.
Because he's going for the steampunk vote.


http://hawks4ronpaul.blogspot.com/

[hawks4ronpaul]

Flight Jacket Idea

Letterman did a special on an airplane and he had "flyer" leather jackets emblazoned with Connie Chung as "pinup" "nose art." It would be funny to do a blimp jacket like that to give to Letterman.


http://hawks4ronpaul.blogspot.com/

[VoluntaryMan]

IDEA:

Offer Letterman ride in Blimp, or one of his mascots/interns an opportunity to travel in and report from the Ron Paul Blimp.

[Freedom]

Ron Paul has his own blimp now...

Yeah, he was tired of getting patted down each time he flew commercial since he likes to travel with more than 3 ounces of toothpaste.

[hawks4ronpaul]

IDEA:

Offer Letterman ride in Blimp, or one of his mascots/interns an opportunity to travel in and report from the Ron Paul Blimp.

Letterman's mother was an Olympics reporter.



http://hawks4ronpaul.blogspot.com/

[RonPaulVolunteer]

It just went up there, it can "just come home".

Enough of the blimp. It has not delivered what we were promised by ANY stretch of the imagination.

.

[VoluntaryMan]

Letterman's mother was an Olympics reporter.



http://hawks4ronpaul.blogspot.com/

Let's get on this, then. It may actually have some legs.

[scbissler]

Letterman's mom on the blimp would be great. Or Biff Henderson. But the best would be Ron arriving in NYC on the blimp.

[VoluntaryMan]

Letterman's mom on the blimp would be great. Or Biff Henderson. But the best would be Ron arriving in NYC on the blimp.

Arriving on 'Lighter than Airforce One.' I like it.

[Troyhand]

Remember when Letterman used to drop things from a tall building? Watermelons, microwaves, flourescent bulbs, stuff like that. He can drop things from the Ron Paul blimp.

[Question_Authority]

Top ten reasons why Ron Paul has a blimp
10. Because the Ron Paul Zamboni has been rented out until April.
9. It's a great way to bomb Hillary supporters with water balloons.
8. It came with the new Verizon cellphone plan. Didn't you get one?
7. It's fun to scare the ducks away when Huckabee's hunting. Boy, does he get pissed.
6. Shhh! It's a secret. Ron Paul plans to take over the world with it. Don't tell anybody.
5. Blimp + Paris Hilton = New Internet Porn
4. Ron Paul wants to bring the troops home...with free blimp rides.
3. Because a Rush Limbaugh blimp would be redundant.
2. That's how Washington crossed the Delaware. Wasn't it?
1. Because Ron Paul is a Republican, a Constitutionalist and a ranking member of the House Finance Committee. How else is he going to score with the chicks? Bada-Blimp, Baby!


DId you submit this to the show? It's very good!

[Troyhand]

DId you submit this to the show? It's very good!

If the OP blimp media coordinator guy wants to submit it to the show, I'm cool with that. It could use some tweaking, but Letterman's crew would do that anyway if they accepted something like this.

[slantedview]

IDEA:

Offer Letterman ride in Blimp, or one of his mascots/interns an opportunity to travel in and report from the Ron Paul Blimp.

yes yes and yes

[Blimp Media Coordinator]

today is your last day to get in the jokes!!!!!! Looks like the Top 10 list and Oprah one have top honors so far, but keep 'em coming.....I don't think I have seen any Bush ones yet.

[BeFranklin]

Submit your jokes straight to Letterman's top ten list:

h ttp://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/top_ten/contest/index/php/20080105.phtml
http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/top_ten/contest/index/php/20080105.phtml

Top Ten Little-Known Facts About Mike Huckabee

[BeFranklin]

I saw the blimp sneaking down New York avenue towards Fox studies, wonder what that was about..

[BeFranklin]

Hope they don't notice us.. we're a Ron Paul blimp

[BeFranklin]

I saw the blimp sneaking through New York towards Fox News, wonder what that was about..

Hope they don't notice us.. we're a Ron Paul blimp

Meanwhile
At Fox News:

Blimp: Knock Knock

Fox News: Whose There?

Blimp: Ron Paul Blimp

Fox News: Ron Paul Who?

Blimp: Thats what we want to know! Google it, you can't get it off Fox News!!!!!!!!


Umph. WallaBangWallaBing

[BeFranklin]

Come on guys, give - Style, simple knock knock, and ties in with EVERYTHING you've been advertising on the blimp.

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week :)

[micahnelson]

Crazy election season, we've got this guy Ron Paul who literally owns the internet. The whole thing runs in his basement. He has a blimp. Imagine that. A blimp. This of course breaks with tradition, as most presidential candidates fill their COMMERCIALS with hot air.

[Nanerbeet]

Maybe they should do a "does it float?" with the Ron Paul Blimp??

[BeFranklin]

Maybe they should do a "does it float?" with the Ron Paul Blimp??

They ought to get David Letterman to throw things off the blimp - - In Washington DC. That's a real winner, and I bet Letterman would help get the permissions. Better yet, a top ten list of things you'd like to be thrown off the blimp.. and where and on whom..

[BeFranklin]

//

[Dary]

Not to be out done by the Ron Paul blimp, Mike Huckabee got a blimpie of his own.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2418/2175862690_7659efafe3_o.jpg

Oh come on now. That's funny.

[VoluntaryMan]

Feeling threatened by the Ron Paul Blimp, Mike Huckabee has started eating again.

[Troyhand]

Top ten reasons why Ron Paul has a blimp
10. Because the Ron Paul Zamboni has been rented out until April.
9. It's a great way to bomb Hillary supporters with water balloons.
8. It came with the new Verizon cellphone plan. Didn't you get one?
7. It's fun to scare the ducks away when Huckabee's hunting. Boy, does he get pissed.
6. Shhh! It's a secret. Ron Paul plans to take over the world with it. Don't tell anybody.
5. Blimp + Paris Hilton = New Internet Porn
4. Ron Paul wants to bring the troops home...with free blimp rides.
3. Because a Rush Limbaugh blimp would be redundant.
2. That's how Washington crossed the Delaware. Wasn't it?
1. Because Ron Paul is a Republican, a Constitutionalist and a ranking member of the House Finance Committee. How else is he going to score with the chicks? Bada-Blimp, Baby!

Some additions:
- Because Obama already tied his tether to Oprah.
- It's a perfect vehicle to fufill Ron Paul's lifelong dream of taking a Whizz on the Federal Reserve.
- When Inaugurated, instead of being sworn in, Ron Paul plans to bungee jump from the blimp onto the White House lawn screaming "BONSAI!!!!"
- There's a rumor that blimps scare George Bush so much, he'll crap his pants.

[Blimp Media Coordinator]

You've got a couple hours left to get something submitted

[Troyhand]

I'm blimped out of jokes, buddy. Let someone else do it.

[Blimp Media Coordinator]

Thanks for your input Troy

[Troyhand]

Ok. One more. lol
What do you get when you cross a Ron Paul Blimp with a Fox News Correspondent?
Two gasbags for the price of one.
G'night, everybody!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!
Don't forget to vote!

[BeFranklin]

Umm Yes

What would Giuliani say that the Ron Paul Blimp would never say?
I'm coming out of the closet

Whats so great about the Ron Paul Blimp for Huckabee?
It's a target he can't miss

What does McCain say when he sees the Ron Paul Blimp?
Incoming

What does Thompson's young wife have when she looks at the Ron Paul Blimp?
Blimp Envy

When Romney's grassroots looked up at the Ron Paul Blimp, what did they say?
Its higher..

AAh AAh, Aah
yes, yes, its time to vote!!! Don't forget to donate folks.
Thank you Thank you, you've all been swell. :)

[VoluntaryMan]

They ought to get David Letterman to throw things off the blimp - - In Washington DC. That's a real winner, and I bet Letterman would help get the permissions. Better yet, a top ten list of things you'd like to be thrown off the blimp.. and where and on whom..

I can come up with 5, right off the top of my head:

sHmUCKABEE
MUCKain
"Goin'-back-to-bed" FRED
Mutt
9ui11iani