Speech I'm writing for caucus night.

[Gimpster]

Hey everyone,

This week we're having a meet-up of people in my precinct. One of the events during an Iowa caucus is a 2-3 minute speech for your candidate. I've been working on this tonight and wanted some opinions & critique. I'd like to be the one who reads the speech if the others like it.

Remember that I'll be talking to mostly pretty conservative people at this event.

I realize my grammar and the layout is weird, but I'm laying it out how I can best read. I consider myself to be a decent public speaker and have a "deep" voice. I've been timing the speech, thats why I have it broken up by times there.

---

[Usual salutations to the chairman and audience.]

I’d like to begin with the words of William Shakespeare, “Now is the Winter of our discontent”. Allow me to share with you my discontent:

1.) The advancement of socialist ideals- such as “Universal” health care, unfair trade agreements and the loss of individual property rights.
2.) Constant attempts to cripple or totally dissolve our Second Amendment rights.
3.) Military and [most importantly] economical interventionism with no defined goals, thus weakening our national defense.
4.) Lack of resolve to control our porous borders and end the economic incentives that drive unchecked illegal immigration.
5.) Blatant disregard for human life in the form of federally subsidized abortion & medical research.
6.) Loss of individual privacy due to ill conceived & draconian legislation.
7.) Continued fiscal irresponsibility ensuring that we, our children and their children will be little more than indentured servants to the national debt.

50-60 seconds

These aren’t just so-called “hot button” issues. These are issues that have the potential to shape society as we know it into something unrecognizable… something un-American.

We can’t endure another period of complacency & inaction.

At the beginning of this caucus we held our hands over our hearts and recited the pledge of allegiance. Now, when she [your country] needs you the most; won’t you join me in supporting a candidate that upholds ideals we Iowans hold dear? Won’t you join me in supporting a candidate who believes the Constitution is a sacred document?

With such feelings of discontent, only a doctor can cure my woes- our woes; Dr. Ron Paul.

Thank you.

60 seconds

[King Crimson]

Talk about changing what the proper role of government should be. Should it be to steal people's money, give it to Washington and have them waste it on foreign wars, the welfare state, pork barrel projects? Should the role of government be to subsidize big corporations? Should the role of government be to tell you what substances you can put in your body? Should the role of government be to tell you who you can and cannot marry? Etc etc etc. Ron Paul is the ONLY candidate who says the government should stay out of these things. His 3 issues are peace prosperity and freedom. All of which will be achieved under a Ron Paul presidency.

[JordanL]

That's an inspiring speech. The only thing I'd suggest. Talk more to inspire hope in the hearts of the listeners. This speech does an EXCELLENT job of letting people know why it's smart to vote for him, and why it makes sense. Do a little more to make them feel proud to vote for him... to feel happy and patriotic about it. Don't undervalue the power emotion has in deciding people's votes.

[xCakex]

Good job on the speech!!!

[voisine]

I agree with JordanL. That's a great opening, but spend the second half of the speech talking about how you are surprised and encouraged and hopeful because there's a candidate who believes in and has a plan for freedom, prosperity and peace. Someone who will restore this great republic.

[AggieforPaul]

I think its an excellent speech. The problem is that anyone could say the same thing about any other candidate. They'd be lying, but they can (and will) say it anyway. I'd try and work in some facts about how amazing Ron Paul's military service record is, what he's accomplished as an obgyn, his refusal to take a Congressional pension, etc.

[Chauncy]

nt

[bbachtung]

Thank you for thinking ahead for the caucuses; I like the speech, and thnk that the feedback re: appealing to emotion and discussing RP's life (flight surgeon, OB/GYN who has delivered 4,000 babies and never seen a case in which an abortion was necessary, growing up on a small family dairy farm in Pennsylvania, and married to the same woman for 50 years).

How many people are you dragging with you to the caucus?

[pacelli]

Well done in terms of the phrasing as if it were read out loud. Any edits you make should definitely carry the same phrasing. If I were listening to that for the first time, my brain would be wondering-- throughout the entire time-- "who is he plugging?". You don't mention anything about Dr. Paul until the last couple sentences. I'm not sure if that is your intention- it may work best for the audience you will be dealing with.

Also for the intro quote-- make sure after you get done with the saluations, you carry that nice big smile over to the intro quote. This will lighten the mood and make people more receptive to your speech. It is a good intro as long as you execute it with a little humor :)

[Gimpster]

Thanks for the advice everyone, I do appreciate it.

It looks like we'll be attending my precinct's caucus with about 7-10 people THUS FAR. That's just solid confirmations that I last heard, and if you include any spouses or family members that might show... it could be big. If we get 15-20 people in total, we can slam our delegates right through. You don't know how many delegates you're getting until the caucus.

This might not sound like much, but I live in Democrat WHQ section of Des Moines. You see no other Republican signage out besides RP.

I think the best strategy at the caucus will be to plug Ron Paul at the end of the speech. It'll be no secret who you're plugging anyway, since you're with your "group". I want to remove any doubt from the audience that RP is an ardent conservative and that he indeed has our parties best interests in mind.

---

I'll work on the following:

1.) Lighten the opening up a bit in my manor/maybe tweak the wording. I agree that if read wrong it could be considered a harsh opening.
2.) Adding short/hard facts about Paul.
3.) I might sneak that quote from McCain in there before plugging RP, I forgot all about that.

With luck, the other members of my precinct will also like it :)

[qwerty]

Nice!

[JordanL]

Thanks for the advice everyone, I do appreciate it.

It looks like we'll be attending my precinct's caucus with about 7-10 people THUS FAR. That's just solid confirmations that I last heard, and if you include any spouses or family members that might show... it could be big. If we get 15-20 people in total, we can slam our delegates right through. You don't know how many delegates you're getting until the caucus.

This might not sound like much, but I live in Democrat WHQ section of Des Moines. You see no other Republican signage out besides RP.

I think the best strategy at the caucus will be to plug Ron Paul at the end of the speech. It'll be no secret who you're plugging anyway, since you're with your "group". I want to remove any doubt from the audience that RP is an ardent conservative and that he indeed has our parties best interests in mind.

---

I'll work on the following:

1.) Lighten the opening up a bit in my manor/maybe tweak the wording. I agree that if read wrong it could be considered a harsh opening.
2.) Adding short/hard facts about Paul.
3.) I might sneak that quote from McCain in there before plugging RP, I forgot all about that.

With luck, the other members of my precinct will also like it :)

I truly appreciate your dedication sir. We could use more people like you. :)

[hellah10]

damn, thats a solid speech... i may have to steal from ya lol

[curtisag]

Awesome speech, I know you will tell it from the heart. People speaking from the heart has great power to persuade people.

Here are great things you may want to add:

1. 60 trillion dollars in unfunded liabilities threaten to make the next generation of Americans poorer with much higher taxes. May our children forgive us if we don't make an effort to correct things now.

2. Foreign wars also threaten our prosperity. It doesn't matter if you supported the Iraq war or not, because we can no longer afford this foreign policy. It is estimated this war will cost every family in America $46,000 dollars.

3. Many people call Paul an isolationist, but actually he's a non-interventionist who wants to trade, negotiate, and be friends with countries. People around the world have a negative view of our country now, and Ron Paul can restore this great country to its' former glory. We must lead by example and be that 'shining city on a hill' (that Reagan spoke of) again and a beacon of hope and freedom for the rest of the world. If we do that, the world will want to emulate us and the world will be a better place. Hope and freedom is a much more powerful ideology than the twisted ideology the terrorists use.