Headline Help--Please Help Time sensitive llepard

[llepard]

OK, NYTimes adv.

The headline now reads:

Why did I spend $85,000 to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?

Because I care about my family and your family.

Got feedback from my family over christmas eve dinner.

They believe it sounds like I am bragging. They think I should change the headline to:

Why do I support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul? (same second line).

or

Why did I purchase a full page ad to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?(same second line)

My family thinks stating a number is just stupid. Especially since the number is so large relative to what most people make annually.

I expressed this concern to my copy writer but she said putting the number in made people realize I was real, and was successful. eg: this is not just some fringe guy putting up an adv.

Help, i am on deadline. I am having doubts. I need advice.

Also, got a lot of feedback that I was just wasting my money. Thoughts?

[matthylland]

hmm thats tough...

maybe it is better to play on the safe side and just say;

"Why did I purchase a full page ad to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?"

but 85,000 also seems like a significant point as well, but I'm not sure how it will be interpreted by the masses.

So my vote is:

Why did I purchase a full page ad to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?

[tsetsefly]

OK, NYTimes adv.

The headline now reads:

Why did I spend $85,000 to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?

Because I care about my family and your family.

Got feedback from my family over christmas eve dinner.

They believe it sounds like I am bragging. They think I should change the headline to:

Why do I support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul? (same second line).

or

Why did I purchase a full page ad to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?(same second line)

My family thinks stating a number is just stupid. Especially since the number is so large relative to what most people make annually.

I expressed this concern to my copy writer but she said putting the number is made people realize I was real, and was successful. eg: this is not just some fringe guy putting up and adv.

Help, i am on deadline. I am having doubts. I need advice.

I thought the number w was unnecesary as well, I like the second edite line, why did I purchase a full ad...

[ReallyNow]

I think the 85k should stay because it's a grabber and that's what you want a headline to be. Just my humble opinion.

[ladyliberty3]

Mr. Lepard, I like the sound of the third one. You are indeed a patriot sir.

[LibertyEagle]

Leave it the way it is. It is great.

You need to put the number. Otherwise, most won't understand how much it cost. It helps to get the point across, how very important this is to you, that you would be willing to spend such a huge amount.

[slantedview]

I agree that removing the actual dollar amount might be a good idea. As for whether or not to keep the original idea behind the headline (why did I purchase an ad...), I have no opinion.

Merry Xmas :)

[Ben Elliott]

I agree with your family, it does come off somewhat haughty saying, "because I care about my friends and family".

Everything else that I've read in the ad is amazing.

[LibertyEagle]

No, no. You have to put the number. Otherwise, they won't understand how very serious you are about what you are saying.

[Margo37]

Small voice here but I loved it the way it was, remarkable, you and the ad!
I think it's wonderful that you're doing this again.
Merry Christmas to you all.



No, no. You have to put the number.

[Sey.Naci]

Leave it as it is. I certainly didn't read the headline as bragging.

[Suzu]

You've spent a lot more than $85k, all things considered. The number is not important. People will realize that posting full page ads in national newspapers is very expensive.

I would rather see the 2nd line say something about your desire to address his lack of traditional coverage.

[noztnac]

I could do without the number. I like Llepard so I was inclined to like the ad but now that you mention it I think the number may not be necessary and may even put a few people off.

[Scott Wilson]

I think using $85,000 is a good idea as it sounds significant to the reader.

As you stated, it demonstrates that Ron Paul supporters are not simply disgruntled people on the fringe but are a cross section of concerned people from all demographics.

[quantized]

Mr. Lepard, I also prefer the sound of the third one, but i do not read the first one as bragging.

[LibertyEagle]

I agree with your family, it does come off somewhat haughty saying, "because I care about my friends and family".

Everything else that I've read in the ad is amazing.

He doesn't say that though.... He says... my family and YOUR FAMILY.

[rodent]

Perhaps you could compromise and say:

"Why did I pay for this ad out of my own pocket?" Or some twist on that.

Personally, I didn't see anything wrong with the number. However, I bet people are going to treat you differently if they know your face and that you have money. Before the USA Today thing, I just knew you as a currency trader guy. Now I know who Larry Lepard really is.

[CaptBookbag]

leave the number!!! :)

[Cyclone]

If you take out the number, you really dilute the message. THEN you sound like you are bragging. As it is, you are explaining why you did such a thing that cost so much money, if you change it and take out the dollar figure, then it just looks like you are bragging that you personally bought a full page ad for someone.

Therefore, I strongly suggest leaving it exactly the way it is! It is very powerful. Please don't weaken it.

[llepard]

He doesn't say that though.... He says... my family and YOUR FAMILY.

Right, the reason the second line is there is that in advertising you need to tell the reader what is in it for them.

Just saying I spent the money is a yawn. Have to say what the benefit is to them.

[Omphfullas Zamboni]

The number was a big attention getter for me. "Why did I pay for a full-page" has sort of a "so what" factor, in my opinion. The number shows just exactly how important the advertisement/candidate was to you.

[LibertyEagle]

You've spent a lot more than $85k, all things considered. The number is not important. People will realize that posting full page ads in national newspapers is very expensive.

I would rather see the 2nd line say something about your desire to address his lack of traditional coverage.

Most people couldn't even imagine that a full page ad in the newspaper would cost that much. It is beyond their imagination. Heck, it is beyond mine. It is amazing that one individual would care so very much about his country that he would spend this amount of money out of his own pocket to try to save that same country.

[Cyclone]

Right, the reason the second line is there is that in advertising you need to tell the reader what is in it for them.

Just saying I spent the money is a yawn. Have to say what the benefit is to them.


Exactly!

[Ibtz]

Whatever you decide, I think it's fantastic.
God bless ya!

[Pimpin Turtle Dot Com]

I really really really think that "Why do I support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?'" is the best... it is what your letter was titled and I think it is the best... the first one with the "85,000" in it does sound a little egotistical, that is why I like what your letter was titled...

This is focused to people who do not know why people are so "ethusiastic" and "crazy" for Ron Paul, right? If so, it would answer this question and bring a lot of votes...

just my two cents...

[AFM]

The 85k is necessary.

[Ara825]

In the title please make small correction. It should say "Why I Spent"...or "Why I Am Spending"...rather than "Why I Spend..."

BTW I think what you're doing is beyond awesome.

~Ara

[slantedview]

Most people couldn't even imagine that a full page ad in the newspaper would cost that much. It is beyond their imagination. Heck, it is beyond mine. It is amazing that one individual would care so very much about his country that he would spend this amount of money out of his own pocket to try to save that same country.

that's a good point. really, i don't see the number as bragging, i just didn't think it was necessary. it sounds like my initial thoughts could have been wrong though.

[rory096]

I'd say either how it currently is or "Why do i support Ron Paul?" The full page ad line doesn't really mean much; it could be a full page ad in some obscure local newspaper that cost $100, or it could refer to this current ad, but it doesn't really tell people you're for real and you're currently explaining something else you did.

[ShowMeLiberty]

Ok, I appreciate your family's concern, but my gut reaction is to leave the $85,000 line as is. It's attention grabbing which is important. It's sticker shock for millions of people who never paid for than $20 for an ad in a newspaper and I think that says you are dead serious about this.

As for "wasting your money", no, I disagree with that. If you can afford to spend it, what better way to spend it than trying to save the country you believe in? To paraphrase my new favorite bumpersticker, A dollar spent for freedom is never a wasted dollar.

My heartfelt thanks to you, sir, for your patriotism and giving voice to what so many of us believe but can not afford to proclaim in such a highly visible way.

Merry Christmas!

[ronpaulitician]

I'd go with the number. The ad needs something to immediately grab the reader. $85,000 will do that.

[Cyclone]

Llepard,
What you are doing is amazing. This headline is a real grabber. That is all you really care about. Getting people to read it! This does that. It also sounds incredibly generous to us all. Please don't second guess yourself. This is amazing the way it is.

[ronpaulitician]

In the title please make small correction. It should say "Why I Spent"...or "Why I Am Spending"...rather than "Why I Spend..."
I think it (correctly) reads "Why did I spend".

[DJ RP]

For what it's worth I think you should keep the number. That's how marketing works, people think "woah, he spent THAT much on his favourite candidate??? I should take a few minutes to read what he's got to say.

People might think it comes across bragging IF THEY KNOW YOU (like your family) but to people who DO NOT know you they won't feel that way, they'll simply be interested and intrigued by the headline.

I vote for keeping it as it was!

[rory096]

You've spent a lot more than $85k, all things considered. The number is not important. People will realize that posting full page ads in national newspapers is very expensive.

I would rather see the 2nd line say something about your desire to address his lack of traditional coverage.
I disagree; that can only serve to alienate people. Most people think the media is more or less fair and trustworthy. Saying they're not makes you look fringe-y.

[rory096]

I think it (correctly) reads "Why did I spend".
Yep. It's a question, not a statement.

[Highstreet]

Most people couldn't even imagine that a full page ad in the newspaper would cost that much. It is beyond their imagination. Heck, it is beyond mine. It is amazing that one individual would care so very much about his country that he would spend this amount of money out of his own pocket to try to save that same country.

Exactly.

Keep the number. I don't think we, or your country, could thank you enough for this great service. Keep the faith. It's going to take a drastic number of us with your kind of courage to change this country.

[quantized]

Llepard,
What you are doing is amazing. This headline is a real grabber. That is all you really care about. Getting people to read it! This does that. It also sounds incredibly generous to us all. Please don't second guess yourself. This is amazing the way it is.

I agree that the first title is more of a attention grabber. Probably stick with the original title.

[Rebel Resource]

The most important words in the whole piece are the headlines.

If you sacrifice attention-grabbing for humility, you deserve neither :D

[Ara825]

Duh <slaps self on head> now that I looked at it again, I see that I misread it.

I apologize
Too much eggnog *hicup*

[scbissler]

Definitely go with the number. It is an attention grabber that hopefully will pull folks in to read a fairly long letter.

[ronpaulitician]

If you sacrifice attention-grabbing for humility, you deserve neither :D
Baroomboom.

[Cyclone]

Without the number, it looks like a very long, boring ad that some freak put in the paper about Ron Paul. Just another Roniac trying to get attention. With the number, it grabs you, it makes you want to find out why you spent the money. You want to read it. I mean, everyone wants to see the ring that a guy bought a girl for an engagement if they find out he spent 85k on it. Same type of thing here. What is so special about this guy that you spent the money? It asks a question of the reader - why would he spend that money? That makes them want to find out the answer.

Leaving out the dollar figures or watering it down, they can skip over it completely. Oh, I see, just another ad for a political figure, what does this have to do with me? I am busy. What is on sale?

But if you ask the question in the readers' mind, then they are dying to find out the answer.

That is why I like it.

Plus, I think you are a hero to us all, and I can't thank you enough! But that is beside the point.

Hope that made sense.

[Cyclone]

I think it (correctly) reads "Why did I spend".


Yes, that is grammatically correct.

[Sey.Naci]

To expand on what I said earlier...

That $85,000 is, for many people, ten times their annual income. For people like that (c'est moi), while we know that a full page ad is "a lot," most of us likely had no idea just how much "a lot" actually is.

For this reason and others, it's important to state how much you paid. It doesn't matter that "a rich man" (from the perspective of low-income earners) was able to pay that. It's that such a man who cares "for my family and your family" spent that much money to help save us all.

Remember all the positive responses you've received from Ron Paul revolutionaries? Have any conveyed a sense of jealousy (other than wishing that we could do the same)? I don't think so. They've all been heartfelt expressions of gratitude that not only could you afford to do this, but that you DID do it.

[wfd40]

come on llepard... you toned-down the founding fathers ad and it didn't get any main stream play. Enough of this mr. nice guy stuff ;)

Take the gloves off.. be controversial.. trust me, 85k will get people's attentions for better or worse

:)

[tanstaafl]

I think the figure will be a real shock to many - likely most - people and will really GRAB their attention.

The other lead ins just lack the GRAB and I think the attention grabbing first line is (a) truth (b) your first words (almost always better to use your words, imo) (c) much more impactful. Some few people might somehow be turned off...but I don't think so, not if they read the rest. And the number of additional people who will be captivated will, imo, considerably outweigh any loss by those who are turned off.

[Electric Church]

Got feedback from my family over christmas eve dinner.

They believe it sounds like I am bragging. They think I should change the headline....


To address your family's concerns:

Why did I almost go broke purchasing a full page ad to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?

[ilovemypitbull]

Another vote for leaving it as is. My marketing instincts say it's going to grab a lot more attention. The hook is to find out why you did something so "crazy." If it's the crazy part isn't emphasized enough up front, then the reader won't feel motivated to read it.

[Cyclone]

I figured it out. As it stands they don't know what you spent the money ON so they are curious and need to read on to find out. The other titles they don't really care what you like or who you support or why you bought a full page ad, but they are always curious about money.


Once they get into the article, then they find out what you spent it on and by then they are hooked because the writing is so terrific!

Please leave it as it is!

[CaptBookbag]

I realize that others have already stated my sentiments, but just to reiterate...

yes, keep the number. I think with the 85k in the ad, the reader's first reaction/thought will be...
'Wow, I can't imagine spending $85,000 of my own money on an ad. What can possibly be so special about Ron Paul?'
And then they will continue to read. ITS PERFECT!!!

If there is no number, there's no connection, nothing to relate to, and the page gets turned.

[Nefertiti]

"Why did I spent 85k from my own pocket for a full page ad in support of Ron Paul?"

That demonstrates that you are an individual who was willing to go the extra mile for a candidate you believe in. What is impressive about what you did is that you are one person paying for it, not a corporation or some special interest group.

[TexMac]

I like it as is.

[FreedomRings]

I'd stick with the original headline. It doesn't sound like bragging at all. If anything, I'd increase the font size of the $85,000 to make it stand out even more. Numbers in headlines are very powerful attention getters... you could even give the actual unrounded number (if it was different from $85,000) to make it more credible. Like $85,283.

The reference to USA Today is a bit confusing though, especially in the fifth column where the average reader might have all but forgotten about "the" USA Today Advertisement you're referring to. Why not make this about the NY Times ad the reader has right in front of him?

[Cyclone]

"Why did I spent 85k from my own pocket for a full page ad in support of Ron Paul?"

That demonstrates that you are an individual who was willing to go the extra mile for a candidate you believe in. What is impressive about what you did is that you are one person paying for it, not a corporation or some special interest group.

You lose the whole reason they should read it: because it affects their family. No, it is just right the way it is.

[rfbz]

keep it how it was, it doesn't sound like bragging to me at all

[LibertyEagle]

Feeling better about it now, Larry? :)

It's great the way you have it.

[kherty]

Leave the number FOR SURE!

I read all three before I even knew what this was about and the first one made me real curious about what you were doing.

$85k is a lot of DOSH! :cool:

[Bossobass]

In a previous thread, I suggested the header be in the form of a reporter's headline just for this specific reason. The figure needs to be included, but needs to not look like you're bragging. Therefore, I suggested something like:

Ron Paul campaign turns one man's frustration into hope, prompting him to purchase a full page, $85,000.00 national ad in USA Today. Read why he did it in his own words...

Just the way I saw (and see) it.

Great stuff, Larry. You're edging out Josh as my new hero. :D

Bosso

[MsDoodahs]

I have not read the whole thread, just your opening post.

I like the first suggestion from your family best.

JMO.

[RonPaulCentral]

OK, NYTimes adv.

The headline now reads:

Why did I spend $85,000 to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?

Because I care about my family and your family.


Do not remove it. Most people would have no idea what the cost of a full page ad would run for that publication. The 85K number quickly tells the reader that there is something serious going on because WHO would even THINK about spending 85K of THEIR money to support a candidate for POTUS? First thing someone will think is "someone spent x number of times my annual salary to run an ad?!?" or perhaps "Wow that is a significant amount of my annual salary...." ---

Regardless of the status of the reader it will grab their attention and possibly provide them a read to start reading.....

Regardless of if someone was to "feel you are bragging" it is still going to do what is important.... get them reading.

So there is my humble opinion.

Also --- just wanted to say, well, thank you from both myself and my family. You have given us a wonderful Christmas present.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

[Politeia]

Well, LLepard, looks like you have about a 50-50 split here, which I guess won't help you a lot? I like it like it is. I do understand your family's concern; it is just a little in-your-face, not refined, polite, polished. But I like that. It's time for some plain speech, even in the haughty, hallowed pages of the New York Times.

I don't see the money figure as "egotistical", though. I have a feeling that sort of reaction comes from our cultural conditioning, that regards being public about how "rich" you are as vulgar or in bad taste. $85,000 is, yes, about five times my yearly "income", but, since I grew up from liberal to libertarian over 25 years ago, I don't resent your having that much money. You needn't apologize to anyone for being successful. Nor do you "owe" anyone anything, nor do you have any obligation to "give back" (I assume you've worked for your success, not had it given to you).

I might suggest you try to think back to when you originally wrote the headline; how did you feel then, what motivated you to use those words (and number)? Has your own feeling changed?

I do admire and salute you for putting up a sizable chunk of your success on behalf of the Cause. God bless you, Sir.

As for "wasting your money", only you can decide that. I guess I've just been assuming, after you placed that great ad in USA Today, that you'd already decided. I kind of get the feeling that your family, lovely and wonderful though I'm sure they are, might not be as clear and firm in their libertarian understanding and convictions as you are.

Of course, you know that, now you've made yourself a public figure in the Ron Paul Revolution, at some point you may very well come under some kind of attack. And yes, I wouldn't be surprised if some mainstream liberal types criticize you for "showing off" or something similar. The usual liberal subtext: it's immoral to be financially better off than the average. Again, you needn't apologize for being successful. And the fruits of your success are yours, to use as you will.

As a free man and a libertarian, I understand that it's none of my business what you do with your honestly-earned money, nor is it anyone else's; whatever you decide, I do hope you feel clear and at ease about it.

BTW, I do have a suggestion for the second line:

Because I care about my family, and your family.

Adding a comma puts a little pause for effect there.

And, if the ad is still not final, I'm still wondering: Has the phone number at the bottom been corrected? It should be 1-800-RON-PAUL. That's the best number for people to call the Campaign.

Edit: I see that later posts (while I was composing mine) are increasingly in favor of leaving it as it is. Good, I like that. Go get 'em! Yes, you may get some heat, from people who don't (yet) understand what Ron Paul and Freedom are all about; if you feel you can handle that, I'd stay with what you have.

[jorlowitz]

You are bragging. To your family (who presumably knows your wealthy) it will sound like such. But to Americans who have no idea who you are it is very impressive. Even for a successful businessman, it is a HUGE outlay of financial support.

Secondly, the ad really has no other visual ties. It is so dense with text that if you don't catch attention quickly, readers might likely just pass over it.

Thanks again!

[max]

Forget the naysayers who say you wasting money. We all know there is no guarantee of victory but we have to go all out.

As for the headlines, I would take the dollar amount out....but its fine either way....no biggie

But more importantly...my 2 cents.....this money would be better spent on placing numerous full page ads in Iowa and NH as opposed to one in NY..

Bulk of Ny Times circulation is in NY/NJ/Conn....all Rudy states anyway...

Bang away at Iowa and New hampshire and it can leverage into something bigger if we win there

[Johncjackson]

I think the 85k should stay because it's a grabber and that's what you want a headline to be. Just my humble opinion.

Same here. Neutering the message makes the headline too bland IMO.

[shadow26]

No, no. You have to put the number. Otherwise, they won't understand how very serious you are about what you are saying.

I agree.

[richk]

Leave it the way it is. It is great.

You need to put the number. Otherwise, most won't understand how much it cost. It helps to get the point across, how very important this is to you, that you would be willing to spend such a huge amount.

I agree. It does not sound like bragging at all to me. It shows passion and conviction. I'm biased though.

You're truly a great American. :)

[Mark Rushmore]

..

[Cyclone]

Forget the naysayers who say you wasting money. We all know there is no guarantee of victory but we have to go all out.

As for the headlines, I would take the dollar amount out....but its fine either way....no biggie

But more importantly...my 2 cents.....this money would be better spent on placing numerous full page ads in Iowa and NH as opposed to one in NY..

Bulk of Ny Times circulation is in NY/NJ/Conn....all Rudy states anyway...

Bang away at Iowa and New hampshire and it can leverage into something bigger if we win there


He is placing this ad in all the major papers in NH. The NYT is just a bonus. It is a plus.

He truly is amazing.

Plus, the NYT is read by nearly everyone in NH anyway. It has a huge circulation. Nationwide.

[evadmurd]

I agree with your family, llep. Not so much bragging, but the ability to relate by the average voter. It may put them off and actually may initially look to them like one of those "get rich quick" ads we are so used to seeing. Just my opinion.

[phree]

A compromise would be to take the $ out of the title but mention it in the body or a subtitle.

I think the second line is a little weak but I don't have a suggestion yet. I'll put some thought into it.

Thanks for the great contribution.

[blamx8]

Keep the # in there Larry,
It's not about any of us individually, it's about the passion for the message. Anyone with common sense will see that rather than thinking you're bragging. Besides, I want everyone to know what you've done, what trevor's done, what piddly little ol' me has done, what everyone of us has done. those stories are inspirational and build a culture in this r3VOLution of doing whatever it takes to spread the message of freedom. Does anyone think the founders were bragging when they signed their names to pledge everything to the cause.

Same thing Larry, let the world know.

[phree]

2nd line:

Because it's that important.

Because our future is at stake.

Because his candidacy represents a rare and important opportunity.

Because I can't vote 85,000 times.

Edit:

Because it's all that I have at this time.

Because it's a small investment compared to the cost of business as usual.

[tastynaan]

I am very excited to see the ad in print. my two cents, keep the 85K, shows how important it is to you and the nation.

[user]

What about saying, "Why did I sacrifice $85,000..." instead? That has its own cons but it doesn't sound like bragging at all. Or maybe "Why did I put up $85,000 of my own money..."?

[max]

He is placing this ad in all the major papers in NH. The NYT is just a bonus. It is a plus.

He truly is amazing.

Plus, the NYT is read by nearly everyone in NH anyway. It has a huge circulation. Nationwide.

It's a "bonus" that he is paying for with real money.....money better utilized for Iowa or South Carolina...

I see it as a waste of ammunition to fight the battle of New York when the key opening battles are in IO, NH, SC

[richk]

Max, a lot of people read the NYT, not just New Yorkers. :)

[BarryDonegan]

i think the number helps paul. it may make you look superficial, but to the people who read it it makes it look like random people are blowing tons of money on him for the right reasons.

[mathamagician]

Remember your Audience is NY Times readers not the general public. I don't think NY Times readers would be offended by mentioning the number. People who read the NY Times are people who want to be sophisticated. This is a more polite way of wanting to be rich, stating the number makes you sounds rich and gives you much more credibility with these people IMO.

Besides there should be something a little bit controversial in there to get people talking about it or thinking about it.

It's better to have an offensive/shocking ad than a very bland non-discript ad IMO.

[phree]

2nd line:

To show appreciation for the tens of thousands who have given what they can afford.

Because like many thousands of supporters I want to donate as much as possible.

[garrettwombat]

i like the way you had it... because 85k is a large sum of money... and you are not a business or corporation and it just goes to show how generous you are and how determined you are to get paul elected

[phree]

2nd line:

Because money is worthless without liberty and security.

Because money is worthless without freedom.

Because an honest politician is worth the investment.

[max]

Max, a lot of people read the NYT, not just New Yorkers. :)

I understand that...but theres no way a NY Times ad can target Iowa and NH as well as multiplae ads in local papers..

The bulk of the money is being spent to influence voters who are not yet in play. Ads in Iowa and NH only would go 100% towards voters who are gonna be voting in 2 weeks.

[Danny]

You've got to keep the number. There's a big difference between what you did (and are doing) and a typical full page ad. The number is the bait to get them to read the ad.

[RPatTheBeach]

Leave it the way it is. It is great.

You need to put the number. Otherwise, most won't understand how much it cost. It helps to get the point across, how very important this is to you, that you would be willing to spend such a huge amount.

Couldn't say it better myself.

[ExpatinArgentina]

I would have had no idea how much a full page ad costs if you did not state it.

[phree]

Oops. Already posted.

[llepard]

How about changing the first line to read:

"Why would one man spend $85,000 to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?"

Takes the "I" out of it. Third person.

Thoughts.

[phree]

I understand that...but theres no way a NY Times ad can target Iowa and NH as well as multiplae ads in local papers..

The bulk of the money is being spent to influence voters who are not yet in play. Ads in Iowa and NH only would go 100% towards voters who are gonna be voting in 2 weeks.

This ad might become newsworthy because of the human interest aspect. It's a rarity that a private citizen would donate so much money to a "long shot". If the story is picked up it will maximize the return on his investment. At the least it should get some play on the internet.

[Nefertiti]

I like it. But is the rest of the ad written in the first person or the third person? You don't want to confuse people too much switching pronouns. If you do that you will have to make anything else that is in the first person a quote.

[ilovemypitbull]

I didn't see how much time you have to decide, but maybe you could make a quick website and Adwords account to split test headlines. Generally you can guess what headline will pull the best, but the only way to know for sure is to test it. Adwords lets you run split tests really easily, and from counting clickthroughs, you could determine a winner. As we say in marketing, test and track!

[ggibson1]

What type of people read the NY Times? Will they feel that $85K is bragging?

[Rebel Resource]

How about changing the first line to read:

"Why would one man spend $85,000 to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?"

Takes the "I" out of it. Third person.

Thoughts.

Still no. Needs to specify the writer of the piece itself.

More people would "turn off" through this lack of directness than would be turned off by the perception of any kind of arrogance. If anything, arrogance doesn't prevent people from reading at all. It gives it more edge.

[llepard]

The most important words in the whole piece are the headlines.

If you sacrifice attention-grabbing for humility, you deserve neither :D

LMAO.

Brilliant. LWL

[noztnac]

What you may not be aware of is that most of us couldn't give that much if we wanted to. You are obviously richer than the average American. Many people will read this as "Some rich guy supports a political candidate." There's nothing new in that message. Maybe you need to put the amount in some kind of perspective. Make it clear that $85,000 is a lot of money for you too.

Whatever you choose to do we support your efforts. Thanks.

[Rebel Resource]

Just a thought.

The simple word change to

Why WOULD I spend $85,000 to support
Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?

changes nothing fundamental and probably alleviates some of your concerns

[Sey.Naci]

No, keep the 'I'. The rest of the article is in the first person, as it should be.

[deltabourne]

Leave the money! Make a poll if you have any doubts, the money is so important. People are conditioned to stop and look when they see certain things, and big dollar amounts is definitely one of those things

[mconder]

I think if you take a poll on this, it might be split 50/50. On one hand, then number is significant and impressive to some people. On the other hand, some people may find it ostentatious and self aggrandizing. I would have a hard time making that call. Can I ask why you just didn't run the USA Today add again?

[Liberty]

I think the number adds impact. What is there about this candidate that an individual is willing to put out that kind of money?

[beobeli]

I am actually more concerned how the second line may come across.

"... Because I care about my family and your family"

Some people may find this patronizing. The instance reaction could be negative:
"Who are you to tell me that I don't care about or cannot take care of my family? ". The phrase as stated in the second line is the goal of what should develop in the readers' brains; however, you would need to convey a more subtle message to avoid generating instantaneous barrier. Alternatives may be:

"... Because I care about the country my children will inherit"
"... Because I care about the country my children will live in"
"... Because I am concerned about what country we will leave to our future generations"
"... Because I care about my family."


Anything that is personal and talks about your personal domain/family/experience is fine and powerful. The reader needs to make the "stretch" to conclude "Well I am concerned about it too" and continue reading on.

The first line including the number I think is excellent. It is a great hook. It is VIVID, shocking and extraordinary. People know how much common politicians spend on their campaigns (Mitt Romney comes to mind). A private citizen putting money where his patriotism is is an excellent endorsement and will command a respect from people. Besides you are instantaneously debunking a notion that you are 1) spammer, 2) fringe, 3) OpEd letter writer, 4) just a concerned citizen.

My suggested title is:

Why did I spend $85,000 to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?
Because I care about the country my children will live in.

[rich34]

I don't want to tell you what to do with your money, but after the hit piece today in the NYT I'd probably do to Iowa, or South Carolina what you're doing with New Hampshire. The last poll we seen out of SC Paul was in double digits and with today's new poll we're in double digits in Iowa. I doubt very many people in those states even read the NYT. We might get better momentum focusing on the early states.

Either way I support what you're doing and thank you very much for ALL your work!

[IHaveaDream]

llepard,

Whether you're delivering a message orally or in writing, you always want to develop your content based on two primary things:

1. Purpose (What do you hope to accomplish with your statements?)
2. Audience (What prejudices might the reader or listener bring to the discussion?)

Most professional speakers and writers adhere to those two tenets. Give a little thought to this and I'm confident that you will be able to make any corrections to your own satisfaction.

Good luck, and thank you for your generous contributions to this effort.

[LukeNM]

I thought the $85K did not look right in the headline for some reason when I first saw it. That was my frist impressions! I knew what the $85K was for, but it seems that many others might not. I guess it did not make complete sense as a headline. This seem like the best headline to me... FWIW, it would make me want to read more.

Why do I support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?

[Trassin]

How about changing the first line to read:

"Why would one man spend $85,000 to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?"

Takes the "I" out of it. Third person.

Thoughts.

I like it.

[mkrfctr]

I vote leave as is - the number is attn grabbing and informative to those who would have no idea how much an ad costs - those people saying you wasted your money, well that's their opinion, just ignore it

[me3]

I'm fine with it as is. It will be impossible to attain consensus.

Do the criticisms have some merit? Perhaps.

But the average every day Joe doesn't read the New York Times which means, will this be an issue for NH voters?

There is a point of refinement, which diminishes the urgency of the message.

Just 2 cents.

[Delta Six]

No, no. You have to put the number. Otherwise, they won't understand how very serious you are about what you are saying.

I agree. Politics run on numbers. The establishment uses them. We have to as well.

[Dave Pedersen]

I like it.


Yes. Makes all the difference in the world imo.

[jake]

I like "Why do I support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?"

The $85,000 line won't do great with the average person I don't believe.

[rwl4]

When I saw your draft, the $85k figure definitely caught my eye and told my mind you were serious. I must also agree that the "and your family" part rubbed me wrong. Maybe change it to "and my children" or something?

[peacemonger]

I agree with LibertyEagle. The number demonstrates a certain kind of commitment.

Mr. Llepard Sir, YOU ROCK!

[ConstitutionReinstitution]

I didn't have any problem with the original when I first read it, still don't, and in fact thought it was a fairly good attention grabber. My opinion is leave it.

To solve your family's concerns, you could add a line right after that, or at the end of the first paragraph, that says something like:

"I am an American worker that works very hard to [try to (?)] make a good living for me and my family and their future, and I don't have money to throw away."

Or similar.

Hope this helps.

[dante]

If you must change it... the only change I would recommend is changing the 85k to 150k... or whatever the cost of the WSJ + NYT ads cost together... as a 6 digit number will have even more shock effect than a 5 digit number.. and frankly Mr. Lepard... you need that shock to get people to read the letter... otherwise the average joe could give a #$%#@ about why you support Ron Paul...

SHOW THEM YOU PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOU MOUTH IS

[Suzu]

2nd line could be: "Because I care a lot about our country".

[sillvergirl]

Lawrence, I think your headline is excellent just the way you have it.

There are many individuals who spend $85k on cars, boats, and vacation homes.

The fact that you have $85k to invest in assisting Dr. Paul's candidacy demon-

strates that: 1. you are financially successful

2. you are generous and thoughtful

3. you are passionate in your support for Dr. Paul's message

The eloquence of your very beautifully articulated essay shows that you are

multitalented and possess a clear understanding of the urgency for change from

the status quo modus operandi. The sum total of all of these factors proves that

you are not a "kook", a "terrorist" or a "radical" whose views could easily be

dismissed as just so much worthless distractive tripe. I love what you have

done, and are doing ,in this great cause we are advancing.

God Bless You,

Silvergirl

[Liberty]

I vote leave as is - the number is attn grabbing and informative to those who would have no idea how much an ad costs - those people saying you wasted your money, well that's their opinion, just ignore it

I agree. Most people don't have any idea how much an ad costs and will probably be shocked if they see how expensive it is.

[slamhead]

I would use this one "Why (-do) I support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?" And somewhere in the text of your add you let the people know that an individual....you. Spent your own $$$ to finance this ad because you care about your countrymen.

[slamhead]

Go read some of the Federalist papers. Resell the people the republic.

[Exarel]

Hm.. after reading some others comments, i'm not sure what is best.

[Doc Dewey]

I would leave the price in because no one would really appreciate how
much a full page add costs. By the way, I thought the add was done
beautifully. Thank you so much for your support.

Thanks for asking our opinion.

[ChristopherBearkat]

Leave the price, nobody is aware of how much a full page ad REALLY costs.

[HazardPerry]

I think the number is more attention grabbing. If you say why did I purchase a full page ad, whether it is conscious or not, the monetary implications simply will not sink in. $85k is a lot of money. It is a huge investment. It means not only is Ron Paul important enough that that amount of money can be spent without regret, but that people with that much to spend are paying attention to Dr. Paul; that it is not just random kids on the internet with nothing better to do than rock the boat, or spammers in Nigeria or some other nonsense. People have to understand that these are real problems facing our country, and real people are concerned. Concerned enough to do these sorts of things. You are the fullest example of a patriot that I can think of. Choose as you like, but I say leave the numbers in. It isn't bragging -- you earned it. Ron Paul earned it. People need to understand just how serious we are.

[Matthew Zak]

"Why did I break my piggy bank in support of Dr. Paul?"

maybe

[RonPaulCult]

I dont' think it sounds like you are bragging at all and I DON"T THINK IT MATTERS because the goal is to get people to read it and the original headline is CATCHY as all hell

[Eric21ND]

The number shows how much you truly care about supporting Ron Paul. It's an eye catching number. That's what really got me to read the article in full.

Leave the headline as is, I think it's great.

[WebFX]

Leave it the way it is. It is great.

You need to put the number. Otherwise, most won't understand how much it cost. It helps to get the point across, how very important this is to you, that you would be willing to spend such a huge amount.


+1

Hell, maybe even throw your picture in there.

[VicVixvi]

I agree with the ones that say "leave it as is." It catches the eye and that is what this is all about. I still have 1 copy of the USA Today page that I carry with me. I use your example when talking to people about Ron Paul with the line"one guy even spend $85,000 dollars of his own money...".

Besides you *should* be proud of what you've done. Merry Christmas, Larry. Thank you for standing with us however you decide.

Tim from Ohio

[JohnnyWrath]

I didn't know how much a full page ad cost, so it does add a bit of interesting knowledge to the ad.

I think people will read on to see exactly what you spent 85k on....I thought about it for around an hour off and on, and I would leave it.

I wouldn't mention what I spent it on until after the headline so people will be curious as to what you did with that money.

[hillertexas]

Leave it the way it is. It is great.

You need to put the number. Otherwise, most won't understand how much it cost. It helps to get the point across, how very important this is to you, that you would be willing to spend such a huge amount.

+1

The specific number does make you seem more "real" IMO

[jeff_from_VA]

You are paying the 85k - do as you wish.

[vadimg]

i have written many copies, i am telling you should go with just


Why did I spend $85,000 to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?

and thats it, DO NOT EVER ASK A QUESTION IN A HEADLINE AND PROVIDE AN
ANSWER, NO MATTER WHAT IT IS, LEAVE THE ASNWER TO THE COPY NOT HEADLINE!
ASK ANY PROFFESSIONAL COPYWRITER


.

[libertarian4321]

I'd go with the "full page ad" alternative.

[WebFX]

i have written many copies, i am telling you should go with just


Why did I spend $85,000 to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?

and thats it, DO NOT EVER ASK A QUESTION IN A HEADLINE AND PROVIDE AN
ANSWER, NO MATTER WHAT IT IS, LEAVE THE ASNWER TO THE COPY NOT HEADLINE!
ASK ANY PROFFESSIONAL COPYWRITER


.

This sounds like good advice.

[NerveShocker]

Yeah, I like that last advice.

[coboman]

i have written many copies, i am telling you should go with just

Why did I spend $85,000 to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?

and thats it, DO NOT EVER ASK A QUESTION IN A HEADLINE AND PROVIDE AN
ANSWER, NO MATTER WHAT IT IS, LEAVE THE ASNWER TO THE COPY NOT HEADLINE!
ASK ANY PROFFESSIONAL COPYWRITER


AGREE! My thoughts exactly. It is like revealing the end of a movie in the trailer. You must ask a question, and then, provide the answer in the copy. People will only read the headline if both question and answer are there.

Also the amount of money is what is attractive here. If I tell you that I just bought a painting, it is irrelevant. If I tell you that I spent 100,000 bucks in something, then you want to know more about it.

All TV contest shows are based on this. People can relate to big amounts of money and what it is that people are capable of doing for that money.

In fact, the amount of money should be prominent (bold or bigger) than the rest of the headline.

[phree]

i have written many copies, i am telling you should go with just


Why did I spend $85,000 to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?

and thats it, DO NOT EVER ASK A QUESTION IN A HEADLINE AND PROVIDE AN
ANSWER, NO MATTER WHAT IT IS, LEAVE THE ASNWER TO THE COPY NOT HEADLINE!
ASK ANY PROFFESSIONAL COPYWRITER


.

Agreed.

[Aballistar]

I'd leave the number, it's an attention grabber and most do not know how much it really costs to run a full page ad.

[constituent]

+1 vadimg

[Dutch]

i have written many copies, i am telling you should go with just


Why did I spend $85,000 to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?

and thats it, DO NOT EVER ASK A QUESTION IN A HEADLINE AND PROVIDE AN
ANSWER, NO MATTER WHAT IT IS, LEAVE THE ASNWER TO THE COPY NOT HEADLINE!
ASK ANY PROFFESSIONAL COPYWRITER


.

I agree wholeheartedly. Giving the answer takes away an incentive to read on.

If I may suggest a change to the headline:
"Why did I spend $85,000 of my own money" somehow seems a lot stronger to me.

Whatever you'll do, you're one of the greatest and I support your actions Mr. Lepard.
My hat is off to you, sir.

Dutch

[ladyliberty]

MY hat is off to you sir!

You should write the ad in any manner that you want - it is coming from your own heart and mind and you are not a corporate puppet donating to some money grubbing politician who has delusions of granduer - you are a genuine Patriot in the truest sense of the word!

[Mark]

Y'all should really see this video. It's almost like the letter in video form:

A song about Ron Paul with "Mr Smith Goes To Washington" in it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A SONG for RON PAUL from CAMELOT CASTLE - ENGLAND -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQpeldFJG_Y

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I found it in this press release: (video plays upon loading page)

Iranian TV Network Broadcasts Ron Paul Song
and gives Ron Paul appropriate airtime during Hillary Clinton debate.

http://www.prweb.com/releases/2007/12/prweb591281.htm

~~~~~

...the song "Inner Truth" which is dedicated to Ron Paul,
and which shot to number one in the UK last week on Utube
when it was released by John Mappin from Camelot Castle in England.

The song and clip...are creating thousands of allies for Ron Paul.

http://www.prweb.com/releases/2007/12/prweb591281.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I put up a simple website of it with the lyrics. It's nice to read along as the song plays:

http://ronpaul.cc/video/John_Mappin%20-%20Inner_Truth.htm

[Mark]

Did everyone get a copy of the final pdf? If not, you can download it here:

http://ronpaul.cc/CommonSense2.0_NYT.pdf

[mohnd]

Regarding the title, the issue has been well vetted.

>> Also, got a lot of feedback that I was just wasting my money <<

It seems to me, this depends on what your goals are. I realize the general goal is to get Dr. Paul elected, but what do you specifically hope to accomplish with the ad? I know there was a whole thread on the development of the ad, so I may be a bit late here.

But just ask yourself, what do I want to accomplish? Figure out your target, and what you want that target to do. Are you targetting getting existing Republicans to vote for Dr. Paul, trying to get non registered voters to get involved, appealing to Independents, effect early primary states? Each one would require a different pitch

If you've already done this analysis, go with your conclusions, otherwise, you might want to consider your goals so _you_ know you are not wasting your money.

Dan

[jointhefightforfreedom]

No, no. You have to put the number. Otherwise, they won't understand how very serious you are about what you are saying.

I agree with putting the number so people will see how serious 1 person is to spend thier own money! it will appeal to the working class that a "rich" individual believes enough to spend some cash on something worthwhile. you have to think like the otherside of the fence on this one.