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Patrick Henry
12-20-2007, 07:35 PM
Dear

During this time of endless platitudes by those seeking the highest office in the land, only one man has the ideas to make the changes needed to help restore our republic and reinstate the Constitution.

Hi, my name is Patrick Henry. I am 30 years old and am originally from Johnstown, PA but have since made my residence in Melrose, MA. I have been a member of the Republican party, switched to Independent, then switched back to Republican this year to be able to cast my vote in the upcoming primary for a man of integrity unmatched in politics today. That man is the Congressman from Texas, Dr. Ron Paul.

Congressman Paul is an Ob-gyn Dr. who has delivered, astonishingly, over 4000 babies. He became a congressman in the seventies. During his tenure as congressman he has proven himself to be the most consistent person quite possibly ever to have graced the House of Representatives. His consistency is the result of his strict adherence to the United States Constitution and Bill of Rights. He realizes that our rights do not come from man, but from our Creator and can therefore never be taken away. This includes the littlest among us. He has never voted to raise taxes. He has never voted for an unbalanced budget. He was one of a handful to have voted against the Iraq war. He voted against the patriot act. He doesn’t participate in the lucrative congressional pension plan. He gives a portion of his salary back every year to the treasury. He served in the Military as a flight surgeon. He is a strong supporter of civil liberties. He has been married to the same woman for fifty years. He has consistently been named the “taxpayers best friend” by the national taxpayers union and has never voted for the restriction of firearms.

Many people feel today as though the powers that be in Washington either don’t realize what the average American is feeling or don’t care. Well, Dr. Paul does realize what people are feeling and he does care. He does care that the government is spending more than beyond its means. He does care that our borders are wide open for anybody to sneak across. He does care that we have a foreign policy and a welfare state that cannot be maintained by the printing of money out of thin air. He does care that our health care system is causing great pain to millions across this land. Being a Dr., he knows what needs to be done to help with the outrageous pricing of our health system.

The country is at a crossroads. We can continue down the path of the welfare warfare state. We can continue saddling our children and their children’s children with debt as far as the eyes can see. We can continue down the road to the continual loss of liberty by the growing federal leviathan. Or we can promote freedom and liberty by supporting a man in the upcoming primaries that will help restore that “shining city on the hill.”

I ask you to please visit www.ronpaul2008.com to read and watch all of what the Congressman has to say for himself. If you agree with this good man, I ask you to please vote for him in the upcoming caucus on January 3rd 2008. You can register republican the night of the caucus.

Yours truly,

Patrick Henry

Patrick Henry
12-20-2007, 07:43 PM
Bump

Patrick Henry
12-20-2007, 07:49 PM
Bumpety bump bump
bumpety bump bump
look at Patrick go.... :D

NewEnd
12-20-2007, 07:50 PM
The vocabulary should be dumbed down a bit. sad but true.

Energy
12-20-2007, 07:53 PM
Is this snail mail? Email?

If email, way too long. Break it up, add some bullet points. I would intersperse with youtube links. Seeing him in action usually tips the scales.

Depending on your audience... if a more relaxed audience, use a more conversational tone, avoid fancy words like "platitudes," pretend you're sitting with your friend for lunch.

I'm actually working on a digestible, punchy email myself. Here's a good intro to get the reader intrigued to read the rest:


Please do yourself a favor - drop whatever you're
doing now for just two minutes to read this email.

It's that important.

Patrick Henry
12-20-2007, 07:53 PM
The vocabulary should be dumbed down a bit. sad but true.

really?

Patrick Henry
12-20-2007, 07:54 PM
Is this snail mail? Email?

If email, way too long. Break it up, add some bullet points. I would intersperse with youtube links. Seeing him in action usually tips the scales.

Depending on your audience... if a more relaxed audience, use a more conversational tone, avoid fancy words like "platitudes," pretend you're sitting with your friend for lunch.

I'm actually working on a digestible, punchy email myself. Here's a good intro to get the reader intrigued to read the rest:

This is a snail mail letter.

Patrick Henry
12-20-2007, 08:09 PM
more please..:p

ConstitutionReinstitution
12-20-2007, 08:17 PM
1st paragraph: insert "will make" before "the changes". or something similar.

2nd paragraph: comma after "independent"? delete "so as to be able".

3rd paragraph: comma after "delivered". change "Constitution of the United States" to "United States Constitution and Bill of Rights". Identify source for " 'named the taxpayers best friend' " (by whom).

4th paragraph: "as if" or "as though", but not both. I prefer "as though"

5th paragraph: delete "("Guns & Butter")"

Just my opinions. Take em or leave em.

Hope this helps

Patrick Henry
12-20-2007, 08:19 PM
1st paragraph: insert "will make" before "the changes". or something similar.

2nd paragraph: comma after "independent"? delete "so as to be able".

3rd paragraph: comma after "delivered". change "Constitution of the United States" to "United States Constitution and Bill of Rights". Identify source for " 'named the taxpayers best friend' " (by whom).

4th paragraph: "as if" or "as though", but not both. I prefer "as though"

5th paragraph: delete "("Guns & Butter")"

Just my opinions. Take em or leave em.

Hope this helps

Definitely helps. Thank you.

NewEnd
12-20-2007, 10:36 PM
really?

Yes, two-syllable words at most. Do not try to make yourself sound smart.
I learned this in tech support. Most people's reading comprehension is not that good.

DealzOnWheelz
12-20-2007, 11:18 PM
Instead of using pronouns like he use RON PAUL

it may be repetitive but it's for a reason

just think of a song that you don't necessarily like but you can't get out of your head it's usually because its repeated over and over on the radio

Patrick Henry
12-21-2007, 09:50 AM
Final plea before I mail them out today.

Ibtz
12-21-2007, 10:05 AM
second paragraph - spell out Pennsylvania and Massachusetts.

third paragraph - capitalize "Gyn". Take out "astonishingly". Capitalize "Patriot Act". Put "Military"in lowercase. Capitalize "National Taxpayers Union."

fourth paragraph - spell out "Dr."

sixth paragraph - capitalize "Republican".

Patrick Henry
12-21-2007, 11:07 AM
second paragraph - spell out Pennsylvania and Massachusetts.

third paragraph - capitalize "Gyn". Take out "astonishingly". Capitalize "Patriot Act". Put "Military"in lowercase. Capitalize "National Taxpayers Union."

fourth paragraph - spell out "Dr."

sixth paragraph - capitalize "Republican".

Thank you.