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llepard
12-19-2007, 08:47 PM
WOW, WOW, WOW

What a great forum. Amazing contributions from many, many people.

OK, here is the second draft of the NH adv. to run next week.

It is still long.

Bolded items will be bolded in larger type to make them stand out.

Take a look and comment. We need a final by Friday night.


Paid Political Message

Why did I spend $85,000 to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul? Because I care about my children and your children.

Lawrence W. Lepard, American Citizen.


Recently,I placed a full page ad in USA Today supporting the Presidential Candidacy of Congressman Ron Paul. Why? Because I believe Ron Paul is different from every other individual who carries the title "politician." In fact, he is a medical doctor by training and has delivered 4,000 babies. After medicine he entered politics and he is a true public servant. A "Mr. Smith goes to Washington", type of guy. No political lobbyists or vested interests will support him---but I will—and all honest Americans should too.

Given the troubling developments in our world, I firmly believe we face a very important choice at this time in the history of our nation. We need to make a decision as to what we want America to represent, and to become. History will record the outcome of our decision. If we make the wrong choice, many more innocent people will die, and history will not be kind. As I say to my closest friends, I do not want to have to explain to my children that I stood silent as others destroyed this country.

Please allow me to be very direct. The America that I grew up in
believed in the rule of law, not the rule of men.

The America that I grew up in believed in telling the truth. The America that I grew up in believed in following Judeo-Christian values, and yet made room for those of different faiths and backgrounds. The America I grew up in had a religious flavor, but we were wary of those who wore their religion on their sleeves. The America that I grew up in believed in the golden rule: treat people the way we would like them to treat us. The America that I grew up in believed that you did not lie, cheat or steal. The America that I grew up in believed in the inherent goodness of most men, but recognized that evil exists.

Nevertheless, the America that I grew up in did not believe in an eye for an eye, or retribution. It believed in protecting oneself from evil, but in the process of doing so we were cautioned not to become what we were protecting against.

In short, the America that I grew up in was a place where one could be proud of one’s country, and thankful to the men and women who had sacrificed so much in the past to give us this heritage.

I wake up today as a 50 year old husband and father of three, and I wonder where that America has gone. I see a President who ignores the U.S. Constitution by issuing “signing statements” that have the effect of law. He replaced a President who blatantly lied to the American public. Admittedly, the lie was about something that was none of the public’s business. However, when a country’s President is a liar, it lowers that country’s level of discourse and makes lying seem acceptable. It is not. In point of fact, that lie is a big part of the reason we have our current President. You see, actions have consequences. Are these the best leaders this Country can produce? I see that second President’s wife running for President and now claiming she will end the war. Of course, she initially voted for the war, and recently voted for a resolution against Iran that makes another war more likely. Do Americans really believe she will act in our best interests given all the money she has received from lobbyists and the military industrial complex? Will she end the war, as she now has begun claiming in her political advertisements? Or is this just a tactic to gain anti-war votes now that her closest rival is breathing down her neck. Do we believe her current statement on the war? Or is this new position just another hard to believe statement, like the story she told us about how she traded "cattle futures" so successfully?
I see the U.S. involved in an aggressive, undeclared war against a country that did not represent a threat to us in any way. We were lead into this war using false and inaccurate information. In my opinion, we are far less safe now than we were before we invaded Iraq. This war has created more emotionally charged enemies who have more reasons to attack us than ever before.
Ron Paul voted against invading Iraq. Rather than attack an entire nation, he tried to convince Congress and our President to strategically target the terrorists responsible for 9/11. The current Administration has failed to capture and eliminate the criminals who perpetrated this crime against us. Those responsible are still at large, our borders are wide open, and our troops are spread thin all over the globe. We need a leader who will protect us with a strong national defense and keep us out of foreign entanglements that in the end, create more enemies than friends. We need a President who will put the national security of the American people, and the safety of our troops, before the interests of oil companies and the military industrial complex.
To date this war has lasted longer than World War II, and between 100,000 and 1.0 million innocent people have died. These figures are between 30 and 300 times the number of people killed on 9/11/2001. Do two wrongs make a right? Furthermore, the majority of the 9/11 hijackers were Saudis. Not Iraqis. We are allies with Saudi Arabia and yet Saudi Arabia is far from being a democracy. Yet we went to war to create a democracy in Iraq and set an example for the Middle East.

The hypocrisy is staggering. The mistakes that were made are enormous. Why anyone believes one thing that is said by the people who led us into this war is a mystery to me.

“We will be greeted as liberators.” Wrong. “Oil revenues will pay the cost.” Wrong. “A secular democracy will emerge and be an inspiration for other countries.” Wrong. The list of misjudgments goes on and on.
Were the civilian Iraqis killed by our preemptive war “collateral damage” or is that just a euphemism for murder? Has anyone taken the time to look at their pictures on the Web? Does ignoring them make their deaths less real? I wonder how their relatives and friends feel about the United States? I wonder if they are more or less likely to become terrorists as a result of the actions of this Administration. I see a country that has violated the Geneva Conventions. I see a country that has violated the Christian Doctrine of Just War. I see a country that has started a war that is illegal under international law. As President Eisenhower said, “Preventive war was an invention of Hitler. Frankly, I would not listen to anyone who seriously talked about such a thing”. I see a flock of Presidential candidates, most of whom voted for this war and many of whom believe “all options should be on the table” in dealing with Iran. For those who are not current on this subject, that language is code for: we should be prepared to attack Iran with conventional or nuclear weapons.

Think about that for a moment. Leaders in this Country are actually talking about using a nuclear weapon preemptively against a country that has not attacked us. Are they insane?

I hear Neocon pundits calling for the beginning of World War III. I see a Country that has suspended habeas corpus. I see a country that has stripped its citizens of the Constitutional protections against an overreaching government. I see a country that has sanctioned “rendition” which is just another term for the kidnapping of anyone, anywhere, throughout the world, and then spiriting them off to a remote location where they can be subject to “enhanced interrogation techniques,” which we are told are not torture. Another lie. I see a country that has engaged in torture. One leading Presidential candidate wants to “double Guantanamo” and thinks his sons’ campaigning for him is equivalent to serving in the military. Of course, that candidate got a deferment to avoid serving in Vietnam. Other candidates for the highest office in this land are not any better. I see a war hero candidate who sings "bomb Iran" to the tune of The Beach Boy's song, Barbara Ann. How can he make light of killing people? Joking about bombing a foreign country and killing innocent people is a disgrace. However, at least that candidate is a veteran. Most of the other top advocates of war have never fought in one. Worse yet, they sought and obtained deferments when others were fighting. You cannot make this stuff up. The irony is incredible. If, as I believe, you reap what you sow, - then the ultimate payback for these injustices will be staggering.

I see a Country that thinks that it owns and controls the world. I believe this is ethically wrong.

Furthermore, we cannot afford it, so even attempting to run the world is self-defeating. I see a country that thinks it should have bases in the Middle East for the next fifty years. I see a country where the dominant political group, the Neocons, believe the world is a dark and evil place. I believe the people who feel this way are projecting their own views onto the rest of the world. They need therapy, and their projection endangers us all!
In short, I wonder if America has lost its moral compass or soul? Out of malfeasance, fear, ignorance, or incompetence we have implemented the wrong policies and taken the wrong course. Since this is true, then effectively the terrorists are winning. God surely has a great sense of humor. Irony abounds.
As citizens, each and every one of us is somewhat responsible for the actions of our government. In fact, the Constitution states that we are the government. It has been said that all it takes for evil to flourish is for good people to do nothing. So, has America lost it soul: yes or no? I would submit that while the current U.S. Administration and the vast majority of the Senate and Congress have lost their souls, the American people have not. Nearly 70% of the American population is against this war, and yet the war goes on. The vast majority of the American people want peace. People know what is right, yet the government does the wrong thing. How can this be? We are supposed to be a government OF, FOR and BY the People. Are we? What do you think? Does our government really represent the American people? Do you think the U.S. government should kill innocent Iraqis or Iranians to make us safer? Would you advocate killing a man who lives down the street just because you think he might do you harm in the future, even though he has done nothing to you yet? I do not, and I believe most American agree with me.

The huge disconnect between what a majority of this country wants and what our government is doing is the elephant in the room that no one will discuss.I

I cannot in good conscience condone or support the policies of the Neocons, the military industrial complex, or the oil industry. I do not believe in “Full Spectrum Dominance”. I do not believe “We Are The Indispensable Nation”. I do not believe we are “History’s Actors.” I do not believe we can “Make Our Own Reality”. I do not believe we should be an Empire. I think we have great power and military superiority and we should use these abilities to protect ourselves. Furthermore, with these powers come enormous responsibility. We are a Constitutional Republic. I believe there is a power higher than my government and that the Founders drew upon this power when they drafted the Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution. “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal.” That reads “all men.” Not “all Americans.” The Founders believed, as do I, that All men have God-given rights. Governments are made to protect these rights, not destroy them. Until recently, I believe the American government did a good job of protecting these rights for Americans. For many years now I believe the American government has used a different standard or play book when dealing with foreign countries and foreign citizens. But that is a story for a different essay.

If it sounds like I am mad, you’re right.

I am mad that my money becomes worth less every year because the Federal Reserve can print money out of thin air. I am mad that the U.S. Government inflation statistics are a lie, thanks to Bill Clinton’s changing of the CPI calculation. I am mad that this change and the Federal Reserve have put the economy on a roller coaster leading to boom and bust cycles that benefit financiers at the expense of the middle class, retirees and the poor. I am mad that Wall Street titans and speculators have been rewarded while savers and honest labor have been punished. I am mad that honesty is considered quaint and naive by the political classes. I am mad at the arrogance of those who hold power in Washington, DC. I am mad that the actions of some men in my country have taken away the moral high ground that the U.S. used to occupy. I am mad that my tax dollars are used for weapons rather than for peaceful purposes. I do not want the blood of innocents on my hands.
Individual Americans are great people. If 70% of them are opposed to the war, then there is still hope. Of course the mainstream media, the press and the vested industrial and political interests would have us all believe that we cannot make a difference. They say we need to listen to them as they tell us who the next President will be. We have to choose between the two war mongering candidates they will serve up to us. We are told who the two front runners are, and we are discouraged from looking elsewhere. Why bother, they say? No one else even stands a chance. Maybe so, ….but maybe not. This time I think they have gone too far. Americans may be slow to react, but we are not dumb. I would submit that the outcome of this election it is not so clear. The establishment dam has sprung a leak which is small now, but it is growing. It is growing exponentially. The word is spreading. The candidates who represent change are moving up. The candidates who represent the status quo are moving down.

The lines could not be more clearly drawn.

Ron Paul’s message is clear and beautiful and true. It resonates with people. When you hear it you say, “that’s right, that’s what I believe”.

This is why his poll numbers are rising faster than any other candidate. Yet, the media still ignore him and treat him poorly. It is beautiful irony that every attack on him only brings him more attention as intelligent Americans wonder, “who is this guy that everyone keeps attacking … I wonder if there is a reason?” They say he cannot win. They say he is a fringe candidate. They say he will lose. I strongly disagree. They are wrong. First, I think there is a very good chance he will be our next President. Second, I think he has won already because he is standing up for everything that is good, right and true about America. He has won by putting forth the message of a Limited Constitutional Government dedicated to Freedom, and people like what they hear. The message he is spreading is like an uncontrollable wildfire. It cannot be stopped. I believe that history will record the Ron Paul Freedom Movement as an earth shattering event in the history of U.S. politics. If you want to see the future of US politics this is what it will look like.

It is an honor to support this man. We should be so lucky as to have him for our President.

Having said that, we could all help history along a little bit by supporting the Ron Paul campaign. My favorite movie is :It’s A Wonderful Life. To me, the message of that movie is that we all make a difference. Individually, none of us have the power of the Neocons and the political classes, but collectively they are supposed to work for us. If we self-organize and unite, we have them greatly out numbered. They are terrified, and they should be. The growth in this movement is amazing. We can and will win this struggle. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a defeatist or is working to protect the status quo.. I ran the USA Today Advertisement because I wanted to plant a seed and make a difference. WE ALL MAKE A DIFFERENCE. Every conversation, every person converted, every e-mail , every effort; it all counts. The internet is what has made it possible.
What a beautiful thing. The trend is really changing and it is fun to watch the old guard struggle as their fortress crumbles.

So what can you do?

Join our effort to elect Ron Paul as the next President of the United States. Spread the word that we have an opportunity to elect an honest statesman with an impeccable record of voting in line with our Constitution. Vote for peace. Vote for freedom.

Donate to his campaign!

Each contribution represents another American who has said “enough is enough.”
Every contribution helps. $10 is not too little. On December 16th, our collective voices were heard when grassroots supporters for Ron Paul succeeded in organizing the largest one-day fundraiser in political history. Over 58,000 ordinary Americans spoke with their wallets by donating more than $6 million dollars to the Ron Paul campaign in a single day. Together we are proving to be a force to be reckoned with.
Think about it. What is freedom worth? I would submit that it is priceless. If you care about the future of this country, I know that Ron Paul will not let you down. If you care about our troops, then you must vote for Ron Paul. He will bring them home to defend America instead of someone else’s country. Ron Paul has received more donations from active military personnel than any other candidate. Why do you think that is? Have you heard about it from the Mainstream Media? I suspect that you have not.

This is it folks. A once in a lifetime opportunity. We may never see a candidate with more integrity and a better message or track record.

Has our country ever been so far off track. Our Founding Fathers pledged their lives, fortunes and sacred honors in order to establish this Nation. Perhaps we have taken for granted the risks they took and the sacrifices they made. But we are being called. We are being tested. How will we answer? Will we meet the test or will we fail? Each of us makes a difference.

So what are you going to do? Are you going to be a Loyalist or a Patriot?

Americans are brave people. I do not need the Federal government to take care of me, and neither do you. I want them to leave me alone. I believe we can set this country back on the right track and that America will experience a renaissance of Peace, Freedom and Prosperity. Vote Ron Paul for President.

The danger to our Republic
is real. We must act now!

Remember, each one of us makes a difference. Please vote for Ron Paul in your state’s Republican Primary and encourage your friends and neighbors to do the same.
You can also learn more at
www.RonPaulLibrary.org about Ron Paul”s positions on the
issues that most concern you.

Sincerely,


Lawrence W. Lepard

hawkeyenick
12-19-2007, 08:48 PM
where exactly will this go that people will be willing to read all of this?

Lord Xar
12-19-2007, 08:50 PM
Lawrence, are you gonna any photos or something to break it up a bit or make it look like a column?

Also, can you give us a breakdown on where and when this is running - ala, number of papers, circulation - it is good if we have a benchmark to measure the impact...

llepard
12-19-2007, 08:53 PM
where exactly will this go that people will be willing to read all of this?

OK, to this and Lord Xar's questions.

We are going to run it in the top 10 newspapers in NH.

We think we will run it on Friday, December 28th during the holiday. People will have time to read it and will be relaxed. The primary comes up soon after.

It is going to be a full page advertisement in black and white.

I am not sure on the circulations, I will ask Linda.

It is going to look like a news story.

I am going to sign it.

hawkeyenick
12-19-2007, 08:56 PM
OK, to this and Lord Xar's questions.

We are going to run it in the top 10 newspapers in NH.

We think we will run it on Friday, December 28th during the holiday. People will have time to read it and will be relaxed. The primary comes up soon after.

It is going to be a full page advertisement in black and white.

I am not sure on the circulations, I will ask Linda.

It is going to look like a news story.

I am going to sign it.

Casual readers are just going to skip over it, it's information overload.

This is a marketing 101 no no


You should have an emotional and/or logical statement that affects the demographic reading that specific paper to hook them, then reference them where they can find out more.

Lord Xar
12-19-2007, 08:56 PM
nice.. why do you reference the "ronpaullibrary.com" link rather than the official site? Is this for legal matters or ?

llepard
12-19-2007, 08:59 PM
Casual readers are just going to skip over it, it's information overload.

This is a marketing 101 no no


You should have an emotional and/or logical statement that affects the demographic reading that specific paper to hook them, then reference them where they can find out more.

Everything about this campaign is different.

I think this will work well, give me a little slack and trust me.

angrydragon
12-19-2007, 09:02 PM
I could be wrong, but I think the numbers (Dec. 16) are:

59,170 donors averaging $102 donations each with no special interest money or corporate backers, AKA Dr. No.

Also, Dr. Paul is a veteran too.

He's not the lesser of two evils, he's the good that we dearly need in this country, well something like that.

Ron2Win
12-19-2007, 09:03 PM
I would replace Judeo-Christian values to Judeo-Christian Principles.

I know they are all the same, but I think getting the word principles in there is important.

still reading...

LSUiLike
12-19-2007, 09:04 PM
Thanks for doing this. You are doing your country a service. :)

PatriotOne
12-19-2007, 09:09 PM
Well Larry. You might just be right. People who have never looked at the war, etc., from your point of view may just become enthralled. I was just looking at it from my point of view where I rarely read sympathetic articles anymore because I can already guess as to what the content is. Of course those who are that infomed are already in the RP camp and we want the rest!

That's my comment as to the length anyways. I can see some logic in it.

Lord Xar
12-19-2007, 09:12 PM
In your opening paragraph you mention he is a doctor - say which kind of doctor and perhaps ad that he is a father of ? and has been married for over 50 years.

Being married for over 50 years tells alot of a person.. ..

also, is it legal reasons you are not putting the official site?

llepard
12-19-2007, 09:16 PM
In your opening paragraph you mention he is a doctor - say which kind of doctor and perhaps ad that he is a father of ? and has been married for over 50 years.

Being married for over 50 years tells alot of a person.. ..

also, is it legal reasons you are not putting the official site?

Not sure. Linda did it this way. I will ask her.

Do you think we should put the official site? I guess yes.

Lord Xar
12-19-2007, 09:17 PM
Not sure. Linda did it this way. I will ask her.

Do you think we should put the official site? I guess yes.

well yeah, i would suppose... that way they can donate and get the 'official site', also they can "refer" others to the official site.

Remember, branding is HUGELY important.. associate a name with something..

Also, I read very very fast and as such - I tend to miss things. Did you mention that he is an AirForce flight Surgeon Veteran?

Energy
12-19-2007, 09:21 PM
Thank you for your contribution.

I hope/trust there will be someone hired to help tweak the copywriting (for maximum, emotional impact) and to design/layout for easy skimming, scanning and digesting.

Would love to see a video link added somehow, like RonPaulIsHope.com

AceNZ
12-19-2007, 09:25 PM
I think it's great; don't let the nay-sayers stop you.

I have some suggestions for you on the way a number of things are worded. What the best way to provide feedback? Is it easier for you to call out individual sentences / phrases along with suggested changes, or repost the whole article with edits, or just discuss things generally without the specifics?

One general note: don't you think that most people either know, or would at least readily accept that the Iraq war was never about terrorism, possible WMDs or bringing democracy to the region? It's a war about oil.

A few things unrelated to the words: Will you be able to format this so that it looks like an editorial in the newspaper, with multiple columns, a similar font, etc (a so-called "advertorial")? Some ideas for images: a small version of the USA Today ad, a good picture of Ron Paul, maybe some images from the Tea Party rallies, or other RP rallies.

Shatterhand
12-19-2007, 09:25 PM
What is the word count of the second draft?

llepard
12-19-2007, 09:32 PM
What is the word count of the second draft?

3,361. 18,000 characters.

Houston, we may have a problem.

Vote on what to cut out.

michaelwise
12-19-2007, 09:33 PM
Lawrence, that is a very powerful letter, and for many a thinking person, they will understand.

Can I just say I cringe a little when I here the word "change", as it seems to have lost all it's meaning. Perhaps you could put the word "meaningful" in front of it, in order to resurrect the meaning. As in this line: "The candidates who represent change are moving up."

Thank You once again.

kaleidoscope eyes
12-19-2007, 09:38 PM
Wow, let me say, no matter how this ad ends up, I thank you humbly sir. Fantastic stuff going on here!

RPSignbomb
12-19-2007, 09:44 PM
Lawrence,

I respect what you are trying to do here but if you want to have impact you need to cut this thing WAY back. People simply won't read it, it's too long, too much for someone who does not know about Ron Paul.

In my opinion the key to effective communications is being as clear and conscience as possible.

My suggestion is this:

1. Bullet point your major reasons with brief explanations
2. Set up an information website detailing your reasons and direct people to it.
 This will serve two purposes, the casual reader won’t be put off by the mass of words and the person who wants to learn more will be able to do so.
3. Hire me, my bank just laid me off. Hahaha


Not sure how good of a speaker you are – but you can “pay” radio stations to interview you in that market.

Best of luck either way!

ConstitutionReinstitution
12-19-2007, 11:08 PM
Under the 1st bolded statement:
change "and all honest americans should too"
to "and many honest americans are, too, as they learn of him"

Under 3rd bolded statement:
change "admittedly" to "it was argued" (he did it on the job, if i did that, i'd be fired. It is a job the American Public elected and paid him for. It is our business)
I'm not understanding "second" in "that second president's wife". Confusing. Would "previous" be better?
I would change or soften "before the interests of the oil companies and the military industrial complex" I understand, but I am concerned with alienating thousands of workers. I've worked in the oil industry and in the defense industry. We will always need both. The workers will think this is stupid or against their interests.

Under 6th bolded statement:
After "I would submit that while the current" insert "and previous". (clinton administration had illegal war in Bosnia, that administration is running for president again.

Under 7th bolded statement:
Again, I would soften or take out "oil industry, and military industrial complex". Might say "neocons or the previous administration" instead.

Under 8th bolded statement:
Change "mad" to "angry" in all places.
"I am mad that tax dollars are used for weapons". Soften it. We will always need to use tax dollars for weapons. Something like "using tax dollars for misused weapons in misguided wars" or some such.
Take out "Maybe so, but maybe not". Replace with positive statement, something like "This time they are wrong".
Change "dumb" to "stupid"

Under 10th bolded statement:
Delete "having said that".
Change "could" to "can".
Delete "a little bit".
After "neocons" insert "or the previous administration".

Under 11th bolded statement:
change to; "Vote for peace with a strong defense. Vote for freedom with the rule of law".

Under 12th bolded statement:
Add somewhere the average amount of donation, $100 or whatever it was.

Under 13th bolded statement:
First sentence is question, so put question mark after.

Add the campaign website.
Add appropriate disclaimer, whatever is required. "not approved by RP or the campaign" or whatever.

And somewhere in there, it says "out number". should be one word.

Just my opinions. Take em, or leave em.

Hope this helps

ZenX
12-19-2007, 11:31 PM
^^^ Good ideas here.

Also, I for one support a lengthy, text-filled article. This isn't a spot on MTV, it's a media that is to be read. Sure, it might be overkill for many, but those that get enthralled and realize it isn't simply an editorialist diatribe will be hooked, and that's great!

chrismatthews
12-19-2007, 11:50 PM
I assume the newspaper is going to work with you on the ad copy, and you didn't feel like adding a bunch of html formating to pretty it up. If not:

You need to break the paragraphs down to eye manageable sizes, as currently formated it suffers from the "wall of text" problem.

I love the testimonial feel(it's a testimonial of course), but critiquing it from an advertising perspective, it could use a bit of rearrangement.

Good testimonials come in two forms. You either start out "Ron Paul this Ron Paul that." or else you offer, "issue, issue, issue, resolution"(for example- war, civil liberties, monetary policy, Ron Paul) Once you disclose the product, then you can go back to the conversational tone.

If you can't rearrange the testimonial to accomplish that without compromising the power of the statement then keep it as you have it.

Again the formating of the ad copy will be very important, you're delivering a bunch of information, so it needs to be presented in bite sized pieces.


**for the record, I've managed an ad campaign with a 750k a month budget, focused on radio, newspaper, and tv in the dallas market. I'll concede you any point because it's your rodeo, but i hope my suggestion helps you.

fatdumb
12-19-2007, 11:54 PM
this seems more intresting to me when i start at the bottom and read to the top. I can see myself getting bored in the begining. please take this lightly as i know nothing about writing.:)

roversaurus
12-19-2007, 11:58 PM
"or is that just a euphemism for murder?"

Those are harsh, painful words. No matter how wrong your own country has
behaved no one wants to hear such an accusation and they will
resists and find other reasons not to vote for him.

I'm not certain what to replace it with. It is fine to point out that Iraqi
civilian deaths were horrible. But if the war is justified a whole lot more
people accept collateral damage.

I'd accept a lot of "collateral damage" in order to get Bin Laden.

RonPaulVolunteer
12-19-2007, 11:59 PM
I say keep it long... I have had enough of people saying what others will or will not do. People will just follow the media. People won't vote for Ron Paul. People won't read all of that.

Not everyone will read it, but the ones that do will tell others about Ron Paul and get them to read it too.

I say do it!

.

Brian4Liberty
12-20-2007, 12:00 AM
WOW, WOW, WOW

What a great forum. Amazing contributions from many, many people.

OK, here is the second draft of the NH adv. to run next week.

It is still long.

Bolded items will be bolded in larger type to make them stand out.

Take a look and comment. We need a final by Friday night.


Wow Lawrence, that's a long one! I agreed with everything I read, but I must admit, I had a hard time reading it all at once. Too much to digest. Would it be possible, (and cost effective?) to break it into multiple articles over time? Maybe run it as four or more smaller, separate ads on different days?

Another observation: It seems to me that the MSM has turned the term "neocon" into a negative (equating and connecting it with conspiracy nuts or racists)...IMHO, phrases like "members of the Bush Administration" or "promoters/proponents/supporters of the Bush Administration's war plans" are clearer to the general public, without negative connotations.

Just my $.02...

Rob
12-20-2007, 12:03 AM
I like it, especially the bolded sentences. Those will actually be going into the final draft right?

In any event it gets my approval.

Trigonx
12-20-2007, 12:05 AM
I think its great, the whole point of reading a newspaper is to read and so I think people will not skip over it because it has plenty of words like the articles contained in the newspaper. An ad like this is something i'd enjoy reading in a paper.

RonPaulVolunteer
12-20-2007, 12:28 AM
bump

fj45lvr
12-20-2007, 12:35 AM
Great job....

I think it is awesome that someone actually wants to engage peoples minds instead of "dumbing things down" like a MARKETING PLOY!!!!

The "truth" will set them FREE.

quantized
12-20-2007, 12:45 AM
I applaud you for your great sacrifice of money, time and energy. You had a great material. I only read the first 50% and I have some comments for your considerations;

1) "He replaced a President who blatantly lied to the American public. Admittedly, the lie was about something that was none of the public’s business. However, when a country’s President is a liar, it lowers that country’s level of discourse and makes lying seem acceptable. It is not." ------- You might want to be cautious about this "President is a liar" statement. Although 99.99% Americans would find it hard to dispute your accusation, but calling someone a liar can be viewed as some what of a kindergarten epithet rather than percieved as a statement of fact, which I believed was your intention. Instead use "President lied to us about .....".

2) "Of course, she initially voted for the war, and recently voted for a resolution against Iran that makes another war more likely. Do Americans really believe she will act in our best interests given all the money she has received from lobbyists and the military industrial complex? Will she end the war, as she now has begun claiming in her political advertisements? Or is this just a tactic to gain anti-war votes now that her closest rival is breathing down her neck. Do we believe her current statement on the war? Or is this new position just another hard to believe statement, like the story she told us about how she traded "cattle futures" so successfully? " ------ This is a follow up on your "our leaders are lying to us" awakening call. And somehow this paragraph does not connect coherently to the previous. I suggest to package this paragraph into "Most presidential candidates are politics as usual. Take for example Hillary Clinton.... blah blah blah.... Don’t we deserve something better than constant pandering to people?"

3) "Furthermore, the majority of the 9/11 hijackers were Saudis. Not Iraqis. We are allies with Saudi Arabia and yet Saudi Arabia is far from being a democracy. Yet we went to war to create a democracy in Iraq and set an example for the Middle East." ----- Can you consider diluting this linkage of Saudi and Iraq? Neocons have the argument that setting up a Iraqi base is to facilitate US to deal with the Saudis in future. Probably a better way would just to say that you disagree with the idea of creating democracy through war, and citing Vietnam as the perfect example, just like what Ron Paul said during debates.

Since you are submitting an essay for publication, you should get it polished for readers. Else you might end up spending tens of thousands and not getting the maximal returns. To entice them to read your essay, I think more effort is required. You target audience will be those are undecided voters, or if your essay is convincing, can even sway the voters opinions. I suggest you consider provide sub sections titles. This will make the essay more organized. You might want to consider getting some online professional editorial services like www.essayedge.com (only will cost few hundreds). Again, I am impressed by your dedication and sacrifice to the movement. And I just feel that this essay still has rooms for improvements... Hope there are professionals editors here in this forum who can give better advice to you.

cheers!!!

quantized
12-20-2007, 12:53 AM
Did you stress the tea party in your article?

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/12/18/opinion/main3628574.shtml

V4Vendetta
12-20-2007, 12:57 AM
ugh, thats a lot of reading... I'm a RP supporter... and I didn't even read that after how long I saw it was.

beobeli
12-20-2007, 01:41 AM
Thank you very much for doing this. Here are a few suggestions/observations.

The more you say the less effective it is. It is a low trust world out there. The more you push your ideas the less they'll believe you. You won't be credible.

Telling YOUR emotional story is the right approach but you are making too many diverse points. I suggest you find someone who is well versed in persuasive writing (marketing) to streamline your piece.

To be effective you have to engage people on emotional level, which your story does, but you cannot digest everything for your audience. Remember their frames of reference are different than yours. They believe in different things than you believe in. They may think that they are saving the country with Hillary, for all they know. You may be pushing a square peg into a round hole.

The best bet is to give them enough facts (through telling of your personal story) to entice people to investigate who Ron Paul is on their own. That way they'll fit elements of Ron Paul's message into their own frame of reference.

You are right, you won't get all of the readers (that is normal), but let's shoot for 40-50%. The way things look now, you'll get less than 10%. You must use bullets, message (i.e., sentence) headings and lots of comfortable white space. Your story needs to happen within 15 second glance. Details will be gathered upon second and more detailed reading, but only if you get them in the 15 second glance.

Any MODERN marketers out there that can help?

JohnnyWrath
12-20-2007, 01:47 AM
I am so glad you are on our team ! Thanks so much.

apc3161
12-20-2007, 02:02 AM
Awesome read. I'm going to bed now. If we are still giving suggestions tomorrow I will write my thoughts.

Myerz
12-20-2007, 02:07 AM
Right On!!!

Bilgefisher
12-20-2007, 02:09 AM
I'll tell ya, I would skip over it. How about the best of both worlds. Have the details but careful highlight the important items. Folks can see he stands for in big bold letters, then they can read why in the smaller print.

LSUiLike
12-20-2007, 02:28 AM
I like that you've broken up the article with bold points. That makes for an easier read. I think you should take the suggestion of signing your name large, ala John Hancock. More later.

LibertyEagle
12-20-2007, 02:29 AM
Lawrence,

I respect what you are trying to do here but if you want to have impact you need to cut this thing WAY back. People simply won't read it, it's too long, too much for someone who does not know about Ron Paul.

In my opinion the key to effective communications is being as clear and conscience as possible.

My suggestion is this:

1. Bullet point your major reasons with brief explanations
2. Set up an information website detailing your reasons and direct people to it.
 This will serve two purposes, the casual reader won’t be put off by the mass of words and the person who wants to learn more will be able to do so.
3. Hire me, my bank just laid me off. Hahaha


Not sure how good of a speaker you are – but you can “pay” radio stations to interview you in that market.

Best of luck either way!

From what I understand, there are a LOT of people in New Hampshire who do not have access to the internet. So, I think Larry needs to put in his letter what he wants people to read and not expect them to go elsewhere to get it.

markj
12-20-2007, 02:31 AM
You sir, are a true patriot!

I agree about the length. It is well written and I read the whole thing but it is a lot of "information overload".

When you have it ready for proofing you should save the actual layout as a pdf and post it here as a draft for additional suggestions.

Thank you so much for all your efforts!

Mark
12-20-2007, 03:09 AM
Paid Political Message

Why did I spend $85,000 to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul? Because I care about my children and your children.

Lawrence W. Lepard, American Citizen.


Recently,I placed a full page ad in USA Today supporting the Presidential Candidacy of Congressman Ron Paul. Why? Because I believe Ron Paul is different from every other individual who carries the title "politician." In fact, he is a medical doctor by training and has delivered 4,000 babies. After medicine he entered politics
~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~

Perhaps a re-wording since at first, he didn't "give up" medicine totally. He moved to politics, went back to medicine, then back to politics again.

There may be some benefit in mentioning that he entered the political life twice.

e.g Tried politics, gave up on it to go back to medicine, then felt he needed to try again.[/b]

~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~


and he is a true public servant. A "Mr. Smith goes to Washington", type of guy. No political lobbyists or vested interests will support him <---


~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~

perhaps more emphasis on the importance of no lobbyist support. There's a site that shows contributions to the candidates by lobbyists. Ron is the only one not on the list I mention it to people frequently. I've heard it said that:

Lobbyists don't even bother going to his Congressional office because they know it won't do them any good.

People are becoming well aware of the influence and effect lobbyists and "big" money have on politicians and how politicians perform.

Quite the selling point when people realize and know that Dr Paul can't be "bought", and that lobbyists know that too, and don't even waste their time trying to.

~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~


---but I will—and all honest Americans should too.

Given the troubling developments in our world, I firmly believe we face a very important choice at this time in the history of our nation. We need to make a decision as to what we want America to represent, and to become. History will record the outcome of our decision. If we make the wrong choice, many more innocent people will die, and history will not be kind. As I say to my closest friends, I do not want to have to explain to my children that I stood silent as others destroyed this country. <---


~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~

The thought struck me here that if things don't change, and change soon,
(the change that Ron will bring, and no other candidate is offering)
things in this country and the world may become so bad so quickly that
you/we may not have an opportunity to tell our children much of anything
in the not-so-distant future.

I believe all the candidates except Ron have mentioned the option being open to use nuclear force against Iran. What hell will be wrought if that happens?

Surely both Russia and China will be none-too-happy if that happens, not to mention some extreme religious groups. WW III could easily ensue following a nuclear strike on Iran. And there won't be much of a world, much less our Country, left to tell our children about if that happens.

(not you specifically, but in general) It almost seems like a bit of hubris to think that we'll have the time and opportunity to tell our children about our Country in the future if change doesn't happen now, and fast.

There's really not much left of our Constitutional Republic as it is now, with the liberties Bush & Co. have taken against our Liberty. Technically, with all of Bush's "signing statements", the Bill of Rights is essentially gone.

On two fronts, the threat of looming nuclear confrontation and WW III, plus the erosion of The Constitution, will we even have this Country to tell our children about?

~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~


Please allow me to be very direct. The America that I grew up in
believed in the rule of law, not the rule of men.

The America that I grew up in believed in telling the truth. The America that I grew up in believed in following Judeo-Christian values, and yet made room for those of different faiths and backgrounds. <---


~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~

"following Judeo-Christian values" seems a bit to me like assigning the moral values of America to specifically Judeo-Christianity,
excluding other faiths/beliefs.


As if other's don't include the morality, or even includes them to a lessor extent, than Judeo-Christianity.


May be a bit off-putting to those who don't follow the precepts of J-C.

Perhaps a re-wording like:

"The America that I grew up in believed in following the values of Judeo-Christianity, while making room for those with different faiths and backgrounds."


Maybe even include some of those values after J-D as in:


**"The America that I grew up in believed in following the values of Judeo-Christianity,
such as "love thy neighbor, and "do unto others as you would have them do unto you",***
while making room for those with different faiths and backgrounds."

~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~


The America I grew up in had a religious flavor,
but we were wary of those who wore their religion on their sleeves. <---


~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~

Perhaps deflect the emphasis on "religion"/"religiosity" a bit by including, perhaps, spirituality.

e.g.

"The America I grew up in had a religious and spiritual flavor,
but we were wary of those who wore their religion on their sleeves."

~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~


The America that I grew up in believed in the golden rule: treat people the way we would like them to treat us. <---


~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~

Please note: This is the first time I'm reading this, as to provide commentary of the impressions I receive as I read through.

***Including "the golden rule" here may eliminate the part of the comment above
where I mentioned "do unto others as you would have them do unto you",
though it does emphasize it.


Submitting this as an alternative:

**"The America that I grew up in believed in following the values of Judeo-Christianity,
such as "love thy neighbor",
while making room for those with different faiths and backgrounds."

~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~


The America that I grew up in believed that you did not lie, cheat or steal. The America that I grew up in believed in the inherent goodness of most men, <---


~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~

Perhaps change "men" to "people" to avoid potential thoughts of sexism.

Not saying that you are sexist in any way shape or form, but you know how some people can be. ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~


but recognized that evil exists.

Nevertheless, the America that I grew up in did not believe in an eye for an eye, or retribution. It believed in protecting oneself from evil, but in the process of doing so we were cautioned not to become what we were protecting against. <---


~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~

no suggestion for modification, just a mention of "well done" in the wordage.
Simple, yet very powerful here:

"in the process of doing so we were cautioned not to become what we were protecting against. "

Good show! ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~


In short, the America that I grew up in was a place where one could be proud of one’s country, and thankful to the men and women who had sacrificed so much in the past to give us this heritage. <---


~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~

Somethings "bugging" me here about "and thankful".

For some reason, it almost implies at first to me, that you're saying people today
aren't thankful for the sacrifice of today's men and women.


I grasped your point at the end,
but it left me somehow wondering until I got to that point,
if you were implying that people today weren't thankful.

Of course, I know/knew you weren't implying that before I finished reading the sentence,
but I'm somewhat familiar with you already.


It's had me "stuck" for a while trying to figure it all out,
but now I think it's something to do with having "heritage" at the end.

As if, "proud" and "heritage" are too far apart.

Like, the verb and subject are too far apart.


It "feels"/reads much better to me when written this way, something like this:

"In short, the America that I grew up in was a place where one could be proud of one’s country,
thankful of the heritage given to us by the men and women who have sacrificed so much in the past."

~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~


I wake up today as a 50 year old husband and father of three, and I wonder where that America has gone. I see a President who ignores the U.S. Constitution by issuing “signing statements” that have the effect of law. He replaced a President who blatantly lied to the American public. Admittedly, the lie was about something that was none of the public’s business. However, when a country’s President is a liar, it lowers that country’s level of discourse and makes lying seem acceptable. <---


~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~

"it lowers that country’s level of discourse and makes lying seem acceptable."

"seem acceptable" feels/seems a bit "absolute" to me,

i.e. that the lowering of the discourse is to such a point as to make lying seem absolutely acceptable.

It "softens", to less than what feels absolute to me while reading, by including "almost".


"it lowers that country’s level of discourse and makes lying seem almost acceptable."


~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~


It is not. In point of fact, that lie is a big part of the reason we have our current President. You see, actions have consequences. <---


~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~

The "You see" seems a bit, "I know this, and need to tell you", where it might be a good place to, perhaps, in a way, like,
allow room for people to agree with you on their own without definitions.

i.e.

"You know, actions have consequences".
instead of,
"You see, actions have consequences"

It's late, I'm tired, and I know I can be picky, but it's kind of another "feels better" thing. ;)

~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~


Are these the best leaders this Country can produce? I see that second President’s wife running for President and now claiming she will end the war. Of course, she initially voted for the war, and recently voted for a resolution against Iran that makes another war more likely. Do Americans really believe she will act in our best interests given all the money she has received from lobbyists and the military industrial complex? Will she end the war, as she now has begun claiming in her political advertisements? Or is this just a tactic to gain anti-war votes now that her closest rival is breathing down her neck. Do we believe her current statement on the war? Or is this new position just another hard to believe statement, like the story she told us about how she traded "cattle futures" so successfully?
I see the U.S. involved in an aggressive, undeclared war against a country that did not represent a threat to us in any way. We were lead into this war using false and inaccurate information. In my opinion, we are far less safe now than we were before we invaded Iraq. This war has created more emotionally charged enemies who have more reasons to attack us than ever before.
Ron Paul voted against invading Iraq. <---


~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~

No comment, just wanted to mention, excellent timing on the injection of Ron's name there!

Perfection, if there is such a thing!

I mean, that was just sweet!

The definition of you owned on that one! ;)

~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~


Rather than attack an entire nation, he tried to convince Congress and our President to strategically target the terrorists responsible for 9/11. The current Administration has failed to capture and eliminate the criminals who perpetrated this crime against us. Those responsible are still at large, our borders are wide open, and our troops are spread thin all over the globe. We need a leader who will protect us with a strong national defense and keep us out of foreign entanglements that in the end, create more enemies than friends. We need a President who will put the national security of the American people, and the safety of our troops, before the interests of oil companies and the military industrial complex.
To date this war has lasted longer than World War II, and between 100,000 and 1.0 million innocent people have died. <---


~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~

Looks a bit like "10 million" have died.

Before beginning to comment, I removed the ".0" and then included it again.

The "1.0" seemed a good bit "clearer" without the ".0" in this RP Forums format, though the text in the ad may look different.

The "million" stood out clearer too.

It kind of caused me to pause and study it a bit, interrupting the steady "flow"
I was in while reading a quite powerful segment.

I was quite engaged in what you were saying, but had to pause, and I "lost track" of the moment I was in, so to speak.

~~~~~~~~~
~~~~


These figures are between 30 and 300 times the number of people killed on 9/11/2001. Do two wrongs make a right? Furthermore, the majority of the 9/11 hijackers were Saudis. Not Iraqis. We are allies with Saudi Arabia and yet Saudi Arabia is far from being a democracy. Yet we went to war to create a democracy in Iraq and set an example for the Middle East. <---


~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~

Might be good to change "we went to war" to "we were told we went to war"

Ties in to earlier mentions of "lies" (lie, cheat, steal, Clinton), focuses on this corrupt current Administration again,

"We went" looks/feels like "all of us, all of the country" were, perhaps, behind the war from the beginning.

"we were told" clearly emphasizes that we were led down this path by Bush and Co., and their nefarious motives.
(perhaps a bit "arguably" nefarious depending on one's viewpoint,
but that's neither "here nor there" in terms of your letter)


I'm curious, for ease of comparison:

We are allies with Saudi Arabia and yet Saudi Arabia is far from being a democracy.
Yet we went to war to create a democracy in Iraq and set an example for the Middle East.

We are allies with Saudi Arabia and yet Saudi Arabia is far from being a democracy.
Yet we were told we went to war to create a democracy in Iraq and set an example for the Middle East.

~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~



The hypocrisy is staggering. The mistakes that were made are enormous. Why anyone believes one thing that is said by the people who led us into this war is a mystery to me. <---



~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~

hmm, kind of "ties in" to an immediate previous unspoken, perhaps, implication?,
of "being told a lie" if "we were told" was used.

~~~~~~~~~
~~~~


“We will be greeted as liberators.” Wrong. “Oil revenues will pay the cost.” Wrong. “A secular democracy will emerge and be an inspiration for other countries.” Wrong. The list of misjudgments goes on and on. <---


~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~

No comment, just wanted to thrown in: "Preach it Brother!"

"misjudgments". So true, so true. So very sadly, true.

Although, I wonder if they were really "misjudgments",
and not more like a carefully constructed plan to fulfill the neocon agenda.

I suppose only God and Bush & Co, know for sure. And guess who gets the last word.

~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~


Were the civilian Iraqis killed by our preemptive war “collateral damage” or is that just a euphemism for murder? Has anyone taken the time to look at their pictures on the Web? Does ignoring them make their deaths less real? I wonder how their relatives and friends feel about the United States? I wonder if they are more or less likely to become terrorists as a result of the actions of this Administration. I see a country that has violated the Geneva Conventions. I see a country that has violated the Christian Doctrine of Just War. I see a country that has started a war that is illegal under international law. <---


~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~

Perhaps change the 3 "country's" to "an Administration" to lessen the "feel" of
it being us all that's done these things,
and to keep the emphasis on the current Administration?

~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~


As President Eisenhower said, “Preventive war was an invention of Hitler. Frankly, I would not listen to anyone who seriously talked about such a thing”. I see a flock of Presidential candidates, most of whom voted for this war and many of whom believe “all options should be on the table” in dealing with Iran. <---


~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~

The "I" in the quote, and the "I" beginning the next sentence seem to "run together" a bit.
Kind of like the quote is continuing in the next sentence.

Might be more clear, and a nice vehicle to drawn you and the reader together,
and even metaphorical, to say like:

"Before us we see a flock of Presidential candidates...".

~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~


For those who are not current on this subject, that language is code for: we should be prepared to attack Iran with conventional or nuclear weapons.

Think about that for a moment. Leaders in this Country are actually talking about using a nuclear weapon preemptively against a country that has not attacked us. Are they insane?

I hear Neocon pundits calling for the beginning of World War III. I see a Country that has suspended habeas corpus. I see a country that has stripped its citizens of the Constitutional protections against an overreaching government. I see a country that has sanctioned “rendition” which is just another term for the kidnapping of anyone, anywhere, throughout the world, and then spiriting them off to a remote location where they can be subject to “enhanced interrogation techniques,” which we are told are not torture. Another lie. I see a country that has engaged in torture. <---


~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~

Again, perhaps change "Country" to "An administration" for previously mention reasons.

Perhaps, even change the first "Country" to that, followed by replacing "country" with "who has".

i.e.
"I see an Administration that has suspended habeas corpus. Who has stripped its citizens of the Constitutional protections against an overreaching government. Who has sanctioned “rendition” ... Who has engaged in torture."


However, it's late, I've been at this for a long while straight, studying pretty much every nuance, and I may be becoming over analytical.

I realize you began with references to "the country" (that you grew up in, ect),
so I may be far off the mark by now
since it's now become not so much of a pure"straight through "read" due to precise examination.

It may behoove me to take a break and begin again after a bit of rest.
Reading straight through up to this point to gain the "just reading through" perspective again.

I'll just post this now, and pick up later. I'm a bit exhausted from a long day,
so I may fall asleep without intending too. If so, I'll pick up when I awaken.
If not, I'll pick up after a bit of "head clearing" rest.

This proofreading stuff is kind of interesting, I've never really done it that much.

Maybe sometime I'll be able to do it with a subject that's not so "heavy" and serious.

I wonder how many people have died over there while I've been reading about it in this letter.

~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~

LSUiLike
12-20-2007, 04:14 AM
Why did I spend $85,000 to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul? Because I care about my children and your children.
I think this needs to be more concise. Titles should be direct and targeted. This article doesn't focus on the affects on our children specifically, so I believe that part should be totally removed. Also, I think you should capitalize each word in the title. How I would word it...

Why I Spent $85,000 To Support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul


Lawrence W. Lepard, American Citizen[.]
The period is not needed.


[Recently,I placed] a full page ad in USA Today supporting the [Presidential Candidacy] of Congressman Ron Paul.
A space is needed between "Recently,I". I believe "purchased" is a more effective word than "placed". I also believe it is important to point out that you were acting independently of the official campaign. "Presidential Candidacy" should not be capitalized.


Why? Because I believe Ron Paul is [different from every other individual who carries the title "politician."]
[unique in the political arena.] What you've written doesn't flow as smoothly and is longer.


[In fact, he is] a medical doctor [by training and] has delivered {} 4,000 babies.
[He brings the insight of] is a better transition. Replace [by training and] with [who]. In the space indicated by {} insert [over], because it seems unlikely he delivered exactly 4,000 babies, and I believe, in fact, he has delivered over 4,000 babies.


[After medicine he entered] politics and {} he is a true public [servant. A] "Mr. Smith goes to [Washington", type] of guy.
Dr Paul's political and medical career intertwined, so I don't believe you should say "After medicine". I would replace [After medicine he entered] with [Also, after intently studying economic policy he felt compelled to enter]. In the space indicated by {} I would insert [has since proven that]. For [servent. A] I propose a grammatical change to [servant, a]. For [Washington", type] the comma should be inside the quotation marks.


No political lobbyists or vested interests will support [him---but I will—and] all honest Americans should too.
Simple grammatical change to [him - but I will - and] that may only be a matter of formatting on the web.


Given the troubling developments in our world, I firmly believe we face a [very important choice at this time] in the history of our nation. We need to [make a decision as to] what we want America to [represent, and to become. History will record the outcome of our decision. If we make the wrong choice, many more innocent people will die, and history will not be kind.] As I say to my closest friends, I do not want to have to explain to my children that I stood silent as others destroyed this country.
I would change [very important choice at this time] to [critical crossroad], it is more succinct. For the same reason I would change [make a decision as to] to [decide].
[represent, and to become. History will record the outcome of our decision. If we make the wrong choice, many more innocent people will die, and history will not be kind.] comes off a little apocalyptic and dramatic. I would change it to [represent. History will judge all of us, as a people, on what we allow America to become and how we choose to face the rest of the world.] I believe this is more of a call to action and a good way to assign ownership to each reader while eliminating the apocalyptic tone.

I plan on reviewing your article in depth because I really think what you are doing is great. I hope I do not offend by picking your writing apart - I think the main body of what you're saying is powerful and important. It may be easier to email you a word file with the changes without going into detail over every point. I could respond to specific changes that you are interested in instead of giving an exhaustive review of every change.

If I am going overboard, don't hesitate to let me know. I'm only interested in helping you put the most effective effort forward. I'll send you my email address by way of private message. Again, thanks. You are a true patriot.

How my edit would look so far...

[I]Paid Political Message

Why I Spent $85,000 To Support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul
Lawrence W. Lepard, American Citizen

I recently purchased, independently and without guidance, a full page ad in USA Today supporting the presidential candidacy of Congressman Ron Paul. Why? Because I believe Ron Paul is unique in the political arena. He brings the insight of a medical doctor who has delivered over 4,000 babies. Also, after intently studying economic policy he felt compelled to enter politics and has since proven that he is a true public servant, a "Mr. Smith goes to Washington,” type of guy. No political lobbyists or vested interests will support him – but I will – and all honest Americans should too.

Given the troubling developments in our world, I firmly believe we face a critical crossroad in the history of our nation. We need to decide what we want America to represent. History will judge all of us, as a people, on what we allow America to become and how we choose to face the rest of the world. As I say to my closest friends, I do not want to have to explain to my children that I stood silent as others destroyed this country.

[to be continued...]

Think12345
12-20-2007, 05:05 AM
Hi, Llepard,

First, thank you for everything you have done and are doing. You're a great man and it's an honor to be on your side.

I've just read the article -- it is great, by the way -- and since it's very late I don't have time to read through all the posts, so I might repeat what somebody already said. I'd change just two things:

1. I'd move the first and second paragraphs (about Ron Paul) to the end, after you express your anger. The article is a great read, but first paragraphs sound like a political ad, which might discourage many people from reading the rest.
2. When you call for action, especially in NH, isn't it more important to ask people to vote for Ron Paul rather than donate?

Anyway, just my thoughts, since you asked for them.

Mark
12-20-2007, 05:20 AM
Who has time to sleep? This has to be ready by tomorrow.
Maybe I'll rest now, just wanted to make what I wrote easier to read.
Saw the request for reducing character count, did a bit, may do more with this part later.
Posting what I have at this point.
(edit) Ok, didn't rest, just finished it up. Will try to determine the character count, I may tweak a few contractions)
Well, there are 3371 words in this document. Does not include, footnotes, headers, or footers.


Paid Political Message

Why did I spend $85,000 to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul? Because I care about my children and your children.

Lawrence W. Lepard, American Citizen.


Recently,I placed a full page ad in USA Today supporting the Presidential Candidacy of Congressman Ron Paul. Why? Because I believe Ron Paul is different from every other individual who carries the title "politician." In fact, he is a medical doctor by training and has delivered 4,000 babies.
He is a true public servant. A "Mr. Smith goes to Washington", type of guy. No political lobbyists or vested interests will support him---but I will—and all honest Americans should too.

Given the troubling developments in our world, I firmly believe we face a very important choice at this time in the history of our nation. We need to make a decision as to what we want America to represent, and to become. History will record the outcome of our decision. If we make the wrong choice, many more innocent people will die, and history will not be kind. As I say to my closest friends, I do not want to have to explain to my children that I stood silent as others destroyed this country.

Please allow me to be very direct. The America that I grew up in
believed in the rule of law, not the rule of men.

The America that I grew up in believed in telling the truth. The America that I grew up in believed in following the values of Judeo-Christianity such as "love thy neighbor", while making room for those with different faiths and backgrounds.

The America I grew up in had a spiritual flavor,
but we were wary of those who wore their spirituality on their sleeves.
The America that I grew up in believed in the golden rule: treat people the way we would like them to treat us. The America that I grew up in believed that you did not lie, cheat or steal. The America that I grew up in believed in the inherent goodness of most people, but recognized that evil exists.

Nevertheless, the America that I grew up in did not believe in an eye for an eye, or retribution. It believed in protecting oneself from evil,
but in the process of doing so we were cautioned to not become what we were protecting against.

In short, the America that I grew up in was a place where one could be proud of one’s country, and thankful of the heritage given to us by those who have sacrificed so much in the past.

I wake up today as a 50 year old husband and father of three, and I wonder where that America has gone. I see a President who ignores the U.S. Constitution by issuing “signing statements” that have the effect of law. He replaced a President who blatantly lied to the American public. Admittedly, the lie was about something that was none of the public’s business, however, when a country’s President is a liar, it lowers that country’s level of discourse, and makes lying seem almost acceptable. It is not. In point of fact, that lie is a big part of the reason we have our current President. Actions have consequences. Are these the best leaders this Country can produce? Now that second President’s wife is running for President, and claiming she will end the war. Of course, she initially voted for the war, and recently voted for a resolution against Iran that makes another war more likely. Do Americans really believe she will act in our best interests given all the money she's received from lobbyists and the military industrial complex? Will she end the war, as she now has begun claiming in her political advertisements, or is this just a tactic to gain anti-war votes now that her closest rival is breathing down her neck. Should we believe her current statement on the war? Or is this new position just another hard to believe statement, like the story she told us about how she traded "cattle futures" so successfully?
I see the U.S. involved in an aggressive, undeclared war, started against a country that did not represent a threat to us in any way. We were led into this war by false and inaccurate information. In my opinion, we are far less safe now than we were before we invaded Iraq. This war has created even more emotionally charged enemies who now have more reasons to attack us than ever before.
Ron Paul had the foresight to vote against invading Iraq.

Rather than attack an entire nation, he tried to convince Congress and our President to strategically target the terrorists responsible for 9/11. The current Administration has failed to capture and eliminate the criminals who perpetrated this crime against us. Those responsible are still at large, our borders are wide open, and our troops are spread thin all over the globe. We need a leader who will protect us with a strong national defense, and keep us out of foreign entanglements that, in the end, create more enemies than friends. We need a President who will put the national security of the American people, and the safety of our troops, ahead of the interests of oil companies and the military industrial complex.
To date this war has lasted longer than World War II, and between 100,000 and 1 million innocent people have died.
The number of innocent people who have died is between 30 and 300 times the number of people killed on 9/11/2001. Do two wrongs make a right? Furthermore, the majority of the 9/11 hijackers were Saudis. Not Iraqis. Yet we are allies with Saudi Arabia, a country far from being a democracy, while we were told we went to war in Iraq to create a democracy in order to set an example for the Middle East. Do you see the disconnect?

The hypocrisy is staggering. The mistakes that were made are enormous.
Why anyone believes even one thing that is said by the people who led us into this war is a mystery to me.

“We will be greeted as liberators.” Wrong. “Oil revenues will pay the cost.” Wrong. “A secular democracy will emerge and be an inspiration for other countries.” Wrong. The list of misjudgments goes on and on.
Are the civilian Iraqis killed by our preemptive war “collateral damage”, or is that just a euphemism for murder? Have you taken the time to look at their pictures on the Internet? Will ignoring them make their deaths less real? I wonder how their relatives and friends feel about the United States? I wonder if they are more or less likely to become terrorists as a result of the actions of this Administration, who has violated the Geneva Conventions, violated the Christian Doctrine of Just War, and who started a war that is illegal under international law.
As President Eisenhower said, “Preventive war was an invention of Hitler. Frankly, I would not listen to anyone who seriously talked about such a thing”. Before us we see a flock of Presidential candidates, most of whom voted for this war, and many of whom believe “all options should be on the table” in dealing with Iran.
For those who are not current on this subject, that language is code for: we should be prepared to attack Iran with conventional and nuclear weapons.

Think about that for a moment. Leaders in this Country are actually talking about using a nuclear weapon preemptively against a country that has not attacked us. Are they insane?

I hear Neocon pundits calling for the beginning of World War III. I see an Administration that has suspended habeas corpus. Who has stripped its citizens of the Constitutional protections against an overreaching government. Who has sanctioned “rendition”, which is just another term for the kidnapping of anyone, anywhere, throughout the world, and then spiriting them off to a remote location where they can be subject to “enhanced interrogation techniques,” which we are told are not torture. Another lie. Indeed, this Administration has engaged in torture. One leading Presidential candidate wants to “double Guantanamo” and thinks his sons’ campaigning for him is equivalent to serving in the military. Of course, that candidate got a deferment to avoid serving in Vietnam. Other candidates for the highest office in this land are not any better. I see a war hero candidate who sings "bomb Iran" to the tune of The Beach Boy's song, Barbara Ann. How can he make light of killing people? Joking about bombing a foreign country and killing innocent people is a disgrace. However, at least that candidate is a veteran. Most of the other top advocates of war have never fought in one. Worse yet, they sought and obtained deferments while others were fighting. You cannot make this stuff up. The irony is incredible. If, as I believe, you reap what you sow, - then the ultimate payback for these injustices will be staggering.

I see an Administration that thinks it owns and controls the world. I believe this is ethically wrong.

Furthermore, we cannot afford it, so even attempting to run the world is self-defeating. I see a country that thinks it should have bases in the Middle East for the next fifty years. I see a country where the dominant political group, the Neocons, believe the world is a dark and evil place. I believe the people who feel this way are projecting their own views onto the rest of the world. They need therapy, and their projection endangers us all!
In short, I wonder if America has lost its moral compass or soul? Out of malfeasance, fear, ignorance, or incompetence we have implemented the wrong policies and taken the wrong course. Since this is true, then effectively the terrorists are winning. God surely has a great sense of humor. Irony abounds.
As citizens, each and every one of us is somewhat responsible for the actions of our government. In fact, the Constitution states that we are the government. It has been said that all it takes for evil to flourish is for good people to do nothing. So, has America lost it soul: yes or no? I would submit that while the current U.S. Administration and the vast majority of the Senate and Congress have lost their souls, the American people have not. Nearly 70% of the American population is against this war, and yet the war goes on. The vast majority of the American people want peace. People know what is right, yet the government does the wrong thing. How can this be? We are supposed to be a government OF, FOR and BY the People. Are we? What do you think? Does our government really represent the American people? Do you think the U.S. government should kill innocent Iraqis or Iranians to make us safer? Would you advocate killing a man who lives down the street just because you think he might do you harm in the future, even though he has done nothing to you yet? I do not, and I believe most American agree with me.

The huge disconnect between what a majority of this country wants and what our government is doing is the elephant in the room that no one will discuss.

I cannot in good conscience condone or support the policies of the Neocons, the military industrial complex, or the oil industry. I do not believe in “Full Spectrum Dominance”. I do not believe “We Are The Indispensable Nation”. I do not believe we are “History’s Actors.” I do not believe we can “Make Our Own Reality”. I do not believe we should be an Empire. We have great power and military superiority, and we should use these abilities to protect ourselves. Furthermore, with these powers come enormous responsibility. We are a Constitutional Republic. I believe there is a power higher than my government and that the Founders drew upon this power when they drafted the Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution. “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal.” That reads “all men.” Not “all Americans.” The Founders believed, as do I, that All men have God-given rights. Governments are made to protect these rights, not destroy them. Until recently, I believe the American government did a good job of protecting these rights for Americans. For many years now I believe the American government has used a different standard or play book when dealing with foreign countries and foreign citizens. But that is a story for a different essay.

If you think I'm angry, you’re right.

I'm angry that my money becomes worth less every year because the Federal Reserve can print money out of thin air. I'm angry that the U.S. Government inflation statistics are a lie, thanks to Bill Clinton’s changing of the CPI calculation. I'm angry that this change and the Federal Reserve have put the economy on a roller coaster leading to boom and bust cycles that benefit financiers at the expense of the middle class, retirees and the poor. I'm angry that Wall Street titans and speculators have been rewarded while savers and honest labor have been punished. I'm angry that honesty is considered quaint and naive by the political classes. I'm angry at the arrogance of those who hold power in Washington, DC. I'm angry that the actions of some men in my country have taken away the moral high ground that the U.S. used to occupy. I'm angry that my tax dollars are used for weapons rather than for peaceful purposes. I do not want the blood of innocents on my hands.

I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore. ~ ( I'm angry, and I'm not going to take it anymore. )

Individual Americans are great people. If 70% of them are opposed to the war, then there is still hope. Of course the mainstream media, the press and the vested industrial and political interests would have us all believe that we cannot make a difference. They say we need to listen to them as they tell us who the next President will be.
the tell us we have to choose between the two war mongering candidates they will serve up to us. We are told who the two front runners are, and we are discouraged from looking elsewhere. Why bother, they say? No one else even stands a chance. Maybe so, ….but maybe not. This time I think they have gone too far. Americans may sometimes be slow to react, but we're not dumb. I would submit that the outcome of this election is not so clear. The establishment dam has sprung a leak and it's small now, but it's growing. It's growing exponentially. The word is spreading. The candidates who represent change are moving up. The candidates who represent the status quo are moving down.

The lines could not be more clearly drawn.

Ron Paul’s message is clear and beautiful and true. It resonates with people.
When you hear it you say, “that’s right, and that’s what I believe”.

That's why his poll numbers are rising faster than any other candidate. Yet, the media still ignore him and treat him poorly. It's beautiful irony that every attack against him only brings him more attention as intelligent Americans wonder, “who is this guy that everyone keeps attacking … I wonder if there's a reason?” They say he can't win. They say he's a fringe candidate. They say he will lose. I strongly disagree. They are wrong.
First, I think there is a very good chance he will be our next President. Second, I think he's won already because he's standing up for everything that is good, right and true about America. He's won by putting forth the message of a Limited Constitutional Government dedicated to Freedom, and people like what they hear. The message he's spreading is like an uncontrollable wildfire. It cannot be stopped. I believe that history will record the Ron Paul Freedom Movement as an earth shattering event in the history of U.S. politics. If you want to see the future of US politics, this is what it will look like.

It is an honor to support this man. We should be so lucky to have him as our President.

Having said that, we can all help history along a little bit by supporting the Ron Paul campaign. My favorite movie is :It’s A Wonderful Life. To me, the message of that movie is that we all make a difference. Individually, none of us have the power of the Neocons and the political classes, but collectively they're supposed to work for us. If we self-organize and unite, we have them greatly out numbered. They are terrified, and they should be. The growth in this movement is amazing. We can and will win this struggle. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a defeatist, or is working to protect the status quo.. I ran the USA Today Advertisement because I wanted to plant a seed and make a difference. WE ALL MAKE A DIFFERENCE. Every conversation, every person converted, every e-mail , every effort; it all counts. The Internet is what's made it possible.
What a beautiful thing. The trend is really changing, and it's fun to watch the old guard struggle, as their fortress crumbles.

So what can you do?

Join our effort to elect Ron Paul as the next President of the United States. Spread the word that we have an opportunity to elect an honest statesman with an impeccable record of voting in line with our Constitution. Vote for peace. Vote for freedom.

Donate to his campaign!

Each contribution represents another American who's said “enough is enough.”

Every contribution helps. Even $10 is not too little. On December 16th, our collective voices were heard when grassroots supporters for Ron Paul succeeded in organizing the largest one-day fundraiser in political history. Over 58,000 ordinary Americans spoke with their wallets by donating more than $6 million dollars to the Ron Paul campaign in a single day. Together we are proving to be a force to be reckoned with.
Think about it. What is freedom worth? I would submit to you that it is priceless. If you care about the future of this country, I know that Ron Paul will not let you down. If you care about our troops, then you must vote for Ron Paul. He will bring them home to defend America instead of someone else’s country. Ron Paul has received more donations from active military personnel than any other candidate. Why do you think that is? Have you heard about it from the Mainstream Media? I suspect that you have not.

This is it folks. A once in a lifetime opportunity.
We may never see a candidate again with more integrity, a better message and a better track record.

Has our country ever been so far off track? Our Founding Fathers pledged their lives, fortunes and sacred honors in order to establish this Nation. Perhaps we have taken for granted the risks they took and the sacrifices they made. But now we are being called. We are being tested. How will we answer? Will we meet the test, or will we fail? Each of us makes a difference.

So what are you going to do? Are you going to be a Loyalist, or a Patriot?

Americans are brave people. I do not need the Federal government to take care of me, and neither do you. I want them to leave me alone. I believe that we can set this country back on the right track, and that America will experience a renaissance of Peace, Freedom and Prosperity. Vote Ron Paul for President.

The danger to our Republic is real. We must act now!

Remember, each one of us makes a difference. Please vote for Ron Paul in your state’s Republican Primary, and encourage your friends and neighbors to do the same. You can also learn more at www.RonPaulLibrary.org (http://www.ronpaullibrary.org/) concerning Ron Paul's positions on the issues that most concern you.
His website is www.RonPaul2008.com (http://www.ronpaul2008.com)

Sincerely,

Lawrence W. Lepard

Mark
12-20-2007, 05:57 AM
Everything about this campaign is different.

QFT


I think this will work well, give me a little slack and trust me.

This time. Only this time Larry. :D:D:D:D:D

rrcamp
12-20-2007, 06:01 AM
f it sounds like I am mad, you’re right.

I am mad that my money becomes worth less every year because the Federal Reserve can print money out of thin air. I am mad that

Just a suggestion... change "mad" to "angry"... as you probably know, mad frequently means crazy... hmm

Dutch
12-20-2007, 06:08 AM
I admit not having read all versions (just he first one) and all replies, but I have one suggestion.

If this is going to be a long piece of text, you may want to have a dotted line with scissors printed along the in-side of the ad. It will suggest people cut it out of the paper, and either save it for later reading or maybe even take it with them to discuss with friends, collegues, etc.

http://ejgkrl.cafe24.com/web/upload/right_common_scissors_line.jpg

Just my $0.02,

Dutch

troyd1
12-20-2007, 07:33 AM
I think the message will work well. As statement by a previous poster, some people don't have internet and this is a full helping of the good Dr. I like the fact that it is almost 2 ads. You have you bold points and questions. These will be for the casual reader, but the additional information will not keep them hanging.

Mark
12-20-2007, 08:42 AM
Paid Political Message

Why did I spend $85,000 to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul? Because I care about my children and your children.

Lawrence W. Lepard, American Citizen.


Recently, I placed a full page ad in USA Today supporting the Presidential Candidacy of Congressman Ron Paul. Why? Because I believe Ron Paul is different from every other individual who carries the title "politician." In fact, he’s a medical doctor by training, and has delivered 4,000 babies. He is a true public servant. A "Mr. Smith goes to Washington" type of guy. No political lobbyists or vested interests will support him---but I will—and all honest Americans should too.

Given the troubling developments in our world, I firmly believe that we face a very important choice at this time in the history of our nation. We need to make a decision as to what we want America to represent, and to become. History will record the outcome of our decision. If we make the wrong choice, many more innocent people will die, and history will not be kind. As I say to my closest friends, I do not want to have to explain to my children that I stood silent as others destroyed our country.

Please allow me to be very direct.
The America that I grew up in believed in the rule of law, not the rule of men.

The America that I grew up in believed in telling the truth. The America that I grew up in believed in values such as "love thy neighbor”, and the golden rule: “do unto others, as you would have them do unto you”.

The America that I grew up in had a spiritual flavor, but we were wary of those who wore their spirituality on their sleeves. The America that I grew up in believed that you did not lie, cheat or steal. The America that I grew up in believed in the inherent goodness of most people, but recognized that evil exists.

Nevertheless, the America that I grew up in did not believe in an eye for an eye, or retribution. It believed in protecting oneself from evil,
but in the process of doing so, we were cautioned to not become what we were protecting against.

In short, the America that I grew up in was a place where one could be proud of one’s country, and thankful of the heritage given to us by those who have sacrificed so much in the past.

I wake up today as a 50 year old husband and father of three, and I wonder where that America has gone. I see a President who ignores the U.S. Constitution by issuing “signing statements” that have the effect of law. He replaced a President who blatantly lied to the American public. Admittedly, the lie was about something that was none of the public’s business, however, when a country’s President is a liar, it lowers that country’s level of discourse, and makes lying seem almost acceptable. It is not. In point of fact, that lie is a big part of the reason we have our current President. Actions have consequences. Are these the best leaders this Country can produce? Now that second President’s wife is running for President, and claiming she will end the war. However, she initially voted for the war, and recently voted for a resolution against Iran that risks another war.

Can Americans really believe that she will act in our best interests, given all the money she's received from lobbyists and the military industrial complex? Will she end the war, as she now claims in her political advertisements, or is this just a tactic to gain anti-war votes, now that her closest rival is gaining ground? Should we believe her current statement on the war? Or is this new position just another hard to believe claim, like the story she told us about how she traded "cattle futures" so successfully?

This Country is involved, in an aggressive, undeclared war, started against a country that represented no threat to us in any way. We were led into this war by false and inaccurate information. In my opinion, we are far less safe now, than we were before we invaded Iraq. This war has created even more emotionally charged enemies, who now have more reasons to attack us than ever before. Ron Paul had the foresight to vote against invading Iraq.

Rather than attack an entire nation, he tried to convince Congress and our President to strategically target the terrorists responsible for 9/11. The current Administration has failed to capture and eliminate the criminals who perpetrated this crime against us. Those responsible are still at large, our borders are wide open, and our troops are spread thin all over the globe. We need a leader who will protect us with a strong national defense and keep us out of foreign entanglements that, in the end, create more enemies than friends. We need a President who will put the national security of the American people, and the safety of our troops, ahead of the interests of oil companies and the military industrial complex.

To date this war has lasted longer than World War II, and between 100,000 and 1 million innocent people have died. The number of innocent people who have died is between 30 and 300 times the number of people killed on 9/11/2001. Do two wrongs make a right? Furthermore, the majority of the 9/11 hijackers were Saudis. Not Iraqis. Yet, we are allies with Saudi Arabia, a country far from being a democracy, while we were told we started a war in Iraq, to create a democracy, in order to set an example for the Middle East. Do you see the disconnect?

The hypocrisy is staggering. The mistakes that were made are enormous.
Why anyone believes even one thing that is said by the people who led us into this war is a mystery to me.

“We will be greeted as liberators.” Wrong. “Oil revenues will pay the cost.” Wrong. “A secular democracy will emerge and be an inspiration for other countries.” Wrong. The list of misjudgments goes on and on.

Are the civilian Iraqis killed by our preemptive war “collateral damage”, or is that just a euphemism for murder? Have you taken the time to look at the dead’s pictures on the Internet? Will ignoring them make their deaths less real? I wonder how their friends and relatives feel about the United States now? I wonder if they’re more or less likely to become terrorists as a result of the actions of this Administration, who has violated the Geneva Conventions, violated the Christian Doctrine of Just War, and who started a war that is illegal under international law.

As President Eisenhower said, “Preventive war was an invention of Hitler. Frankly, I would not listen to anyone who seriously talked about such a thing”. Before us we see a flock of Presidential candidates, most of whom voted for this war, and many of whom believe “all options should be on the table” in dealing with Iran.
For those who are not current on this subject, that language is code for: we should be prepared to attack Iran with conventional and nuclear weapons.

Think about that for a moment. Leaders in this Country are actually talking about using a nuclear weapon preemptively
against a country that has not attacked us. Are they insane?

I hear Neocon pundits calling for the beginning of World War III. I see an Administration that has suspended habeas corpus. Who has stripped its citizens of the Constitutional protections against an overreaching government. Who has sanctioned “rendition”, which is just another term for the kidnapping of anyone, anywhere, throughout the world, and then spiriting them off to a remote location where they can be subject to “enhanced interrogation techniques,” which we are told are not torture. Another lie. Indeed, this Administration has engaged in torture. One leading Presidential candidate wants to “double Guantanamo”, and thinks his sons’ campaigning for him is equivalent to serving in the military. Of course, that candidate got a deferment to avoid serving in the Vietnam war. Other candidates for the highest office in this land are not any better. I see a war hero candidate who sings "bomb Iran" to the tune of The Beach Boy's song, “Barbara Ann“. How can he make light of killing people? Joking about bombing a foreign country and killing innocent people is a disgrace. However, at least that candidate is a veteran. Most of the other top advocates of war have never fought in one. Worse yet, they sought and obtained deferments while others were fighting. You cannot make this stuff up. The irony is incredible. If, as I believe, you reap what you sow, - then the ultimate payback for these injustices will be staggering.

I see an Administration that thinks it owns and controls the world. I believe this is ethically wrong.

Furthermore, we cannot afford it, so even attempting to run the world is self-defeating. I see an Administration who thinks that we should have bases in the Middle East for the next fifty years. I see a country where the dominant political group, the Neocons, believe the world is a dark and evil place. Perhaps the people who feel this way are projecting their own views onto the rest of the world. Perhaps they need therapy. Perhaps their projection endangers us all!

In short, I wonder if America has lost its moral compass and soul. Out of malfeasance, fear, ignorance, or incompetence, we have implemented the wrong policies and taken the wrong course. Now, effectively, the terrorists are winning. God surely has a great sense of humor, for Irony abounds.

As citizens, each and every one of us is in some way, responsible for the actions of our government. In fact, the Constitution states that we are the government. It’s been said that all it takes for evil to flourish, is for good people to do nothing. So, has America lost it’s soul: yes or no? Perhaps, only the current Administration, and the vast majority of Congress, have lost their souls, while the American people have not. Nearly 70% of the American population is against the war, and yet the war goes on. The vast majority of the American people want peace.

People know what’s right, yet our government does the wrong thing. How can this be? We are supposed to be a government OF, FOR and BY the People. Are we today? What do you think? Does our government really represent the American people? Do you think the U.S. government should kill innocent Iraqis or Iranians in our name to make us safer? Would you advocate killing someone who lives down your street, just because you think they might harm you in the future, even though they have done nothing to you? I don’t, and I believe most American’s would agree with me.

The huge disconnect between what a majority of this country wants, and what our government is doing,
is the elephant in the room that no one will discuss.

I cannot in good conscience, condone or support, the policies of the Neocons, the military industrial complex, or the oil industry. I do not believe in “Full Spectrum Dominance”. I do not believe that “We Are The Indispensable Nation”. I do not believe that we are “History’s Actors.” I do not believe we can “Make Our Own Reality”. I do not believe we should be an Empire. We have great power and military superiority, and we should only use these abilities to protect ourselves, not police the world.

Furthermore, with these powers come enormous responsibility. We are a Constitutional Republic. I believe that there is a power higher than my government, and that the Founders drew upon this power when they drafted the Declaration of Independence, and the U.S. Constitution. “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal.” That reads “all men.” Not “all Americans.” The Founders believed, as do I, that all people have God-given rights. Governments are created to protect our rights, not destroy them. Until recently, the American government did a good job of protecting the rights of Americans. However, now the American government is not.

If you think I'm angry, you’re right.

I'm angry that my money is worth less every year, because the Federal Reserve can print money out of thin air. I'm angry that the U.S. Government inflation statistics are a lie, thanks to Bill Clinton’s changing of the CPI calculation. I'm angry that these changes have put the economy on a roller coaster, leading to boom and bust cycles that benefit financiers at the expense of the middle class, retirees, and the poor. I'm angry that Wall Street titans and speculators have been rewarded, while savers and honest labor have been punished. I'm angry that honesty is considered quaint and naive by the political classes. I'm angry at the arrogance of those who hold power in Washington, DC. I'm angry that the actions of some men in my country, have taken away the moral high ground that the U.S. used to occupy. I'm angry that my tax dollars are used for weapons rather than for peaceful purposes. I do not want the blood of innocent people on my hands.

I'm angry, and I'm not going to take it anymore. And you shouldn‘t have to either.

Individual Americans are great people. If 70% of them are opposed to the war, then there’s still hope. The mainstream media,
and other vested interests, would have us all believe that we can’t make a difference. They say we need to listen to them,
as they tell us who the next President will be. They tell us that we have to choose between the two candidates that they serve up
to us. We’re told who the two front runners are, and we’re discouraged from looking elsewhere. Why bother, they say? No one else stands a chance. Maybe so, …but maybe not. This time I think they’ve gone too far. Americans may sometimes be slow to react, but we're not dumb. I would submit that the outcome of this election is not so clear. The establishment dam has sprung a leak, it's small now, but it's growing. It's growing exponentially. The word is spreading. The candidates who represent change are moving up.
The candidates who represent the status quo are moving down.

The lines could not be more clearly drawn.

Ron Paul’s message is clear and beautiful and true. It resonates with people.
When one hears it, one says, “that’s right, and that’s what I believe”.

That's why his poll numbers are rising faster than any other candidate. Yet, most media still trys to ignore him, or treats him shamefully. It's beautiful irony, that every attack against him, only brings him more attention as intelligent Americans wonder,
“who is this guy that everyone keeps attacking … I wonder if there's a reason?” They say he can't win. They say he's a fringe candidate. They say he’ll lose. I strongly disagree. Because they are wrong.

First, I think there’s a very good chance, that he’ll be our next President. Second, I think he's won already, because he's standing up for everything that is good, right and true about America. He's won by putting forth the message, of a Limited Constitutional Government, dedicated to Freedom, and people like what he says. The message he's spreading is like an uncontrollable wildfire.
It cannot be stopped. I believe that history, will record the Ron Paul Freedom Movement, as an earth shaking event in the history of American politics. If you want to see the future of American politics, look towards Ron Paul, because he’s what it will look like.

It’s an honor to support this man. We should be so lucky to have him as our President.

We can all help history move along by supporting the Ron Paul Campaign. My favorite movie is: It’s A Wonderful Life. To me, the message of that movie is that we all make a difference. Individually, none of us have the power of the Neocons and the political classes, but as “We The People”, they're supposed to work for us. If we self-organize and unite, we have them greatly out numbered. They’re terrified, and they should be. The growth in this movement is amazing. We can and will win this struggle. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a defeatist, or is working to protect the status quo.. I ran the USA Today Advertisement because I wanted to plant a seed and make a difference. WE ALL MAKE A DIFFERENCE. Every conversation, every person converted, every e-mail, every effort; it all counts. The Internet has made it all possible.

What a beautiful thing. The trend is really changing, and it's fun to watch the old guard struggle, as their fortress crumbles.

So what can you do?

Join our effort to elect Ron Paul as the next President of the United States. Spread the word that we have an opportunity now to elect an honest statesman, who has an impeccable record, of voting in line with our Constitution. Vote for peace. Vote for freedom. Vote for Ron Paul!

Sincerely,

Lawrence W. Lepard

Learn more at www.RonPaulLibrary.org (http://www.RonPaulLibrary.org) concerning Ron Paul's positions on the issues that most concern you.
His website is www.RonPaul2008.com (http://www.RonPaul2008.com)

llepard
12-20-2007, 09:06 AM
I admit not having read all versions (just he first one) and all replies, but I have one suggestion.

If this is going to be a long piece of text, you may want to have a dotted line with scissors printed along the in-side of the ad. It will suggest people cut it out of the paper, and either save it for later reading or maybe even take it with them to discuss with friends, collegues, etc.

http://ejgkrl.cafe24.com/web/upload/right_common_scissors_line.jpg

Just my $0.02,

Dutch

Great suggestion. LWL

querty
12-20-2007, 09:08 AM
Edit: Nvm :)

LSUiLike
12-20-2007, 11:35 AM
I've cut it down to 2273 words. I have an edit version that shows everything I've replaced and I have this, the clean version, both saved as Word documents. If you want me to explain in detail why I changed anything in particular, similar to the way I did in my earlier post, just let me know.

Paid Political Message

Why I Spent $85,000 To Support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul
Lawrence W. Lepard, American Citizen

I recently purchased, independently and without guidance, a full page ad in USA Today supporting the presidential candidacy of Congressman Ron Paul. Why? Because I believe Ron Paul is unique in the political arena. After intently studying economic policy he felt compelled to enter politics and has since proven that he is a true public servant, a "Mr. Smith goes to Washington,” type of guy. He also brings the insight of a medical doctor (Ob/Gyn) who has delivered over 4,000 babies. No political lobbyists or vested interests will support him – but I will – and all honest Americans should too.

Given the troubling developments in our world, I firmly believe we face a critical crossroad in the history of our nation. We need to decide what we want America to represent. History will judge all of us, as a people, on what we allow America to become and how we choose to face the rest of the world. As I say to my closest friends, I do not want to have to explain to my children that I stood silent as others destroyed this country.

Please allow me to be very direct. The America in which I was raised believed in the rule of law, not the rule of men.

The America in which I was raised believed in telling the truth. The America in which I was raised believed in following Judeo-Christian values, and yet made room for those of different faiths and backgrounds. The America in which I was raised believed in the golden rule: treat people the way we would like to be treated. The America in which I was raised believed that you did not lie, cheat or steal. The America in which I was raised believed in the inherent goodness of man, but recognized that evil exists.

Nevertheless, the America in which I was raised did not believe in an eye for an eye, or retribution. It believed in protecting oneself from evil, but in the process of doing so we were cautioned not to become what we were protecting against.

In short, the America in which I was raised was a place where we could be proud of our country, and we were thankful to the men and women who sacrificed and contributed so much to uphold our heritage.

I wake up today, a citizen all my 50 years, a husband and father of three, and I wonder where that America has gone. I look at the recent string of leaders we've had, and at the candidates clamoring to be next in line, and I wonder, “Are these the best leaders my country can produce?”

I see the U.S. involved in an aggressive, undeclared war against a country that posed no real threat to our national security. Instead of defeating terrorism, I believe our actions are creating new terrorists. How many innocent Iraqi lives have been affected by the unintended consequences of our actions in Iraq? Whether accurate or not, how many Muslims perceive our presence there to be unjust?

New reports out of Iraq assure us that the “surge” is working. Assuming these reports aren't efforts to help push the status quo in the upcoming election, is anyone else bothered that a major, long term solution in Iraq's national defense strategy is to work out an agreement with our armed forces to provide continued support?

Ron Paul voted against invading Iraq. He supported a response that would strategically target the terrorists responsible for the tragedy of 9/11, but he did not support an unrelated, preemptive attack on Iraq. When it was clear we were gearing up to go to war, he proposed that Congress actually declare war, as called for in the Constitution, but was summarily dismissed. The current administration has failed to capture and eliminate the criminals who perpetrated this crime against us. Those responsible are still at large, our borders are wide open, and our troops are spread thin all over the globe.

We need a leader who will be truly dedicated to a strong national defense, which includes keeping us out of foreign entanglements that in the end create more complications than solutions. We need a president who will put the national security of the American people, and the safety of our troops, before the interests of oil companies and the military industrial complex.

The hypocrisy is staggering. The mistakes that were made are enormous. Why anyone believes that supporting a candidate who wants to follow in the footsteps of the current administration is a mystery to me.

We have violated the Geneva Convention. We have violated the Christian Doctrine of Just War. We have started a war that is illegal under international law. And most damning, our Congress never declared war.

President Eisenhower said, “Preventive war was an invention of Hitler. Frankly, I would not listen to anyone who seriously talked about such a thing,” yet this has since become policy? What is more alarming is that we have a flock of candidates, most of whom supported this war, that want to keep all options on the table when dealing with Iran. With no shame, potential leaders of this country will not take a preemptive nuclear strike against Iran off the table. Iran has not attacked us, and while they should be taken seriously, they pose no more an immediate threat to our national security than a number of countries we consider allies.

Think about that for a moment. The leaders of this country are actually talking about using a nuclear weapon preemptively against a country that has not attacked us, and in your name. Are they insane?

Our citizens have seen an erosion of the constitutional protections against an overreaching government. Our leaders sanction “rendition,” another term for the kidnapping of anyone, anywhere, throughout the world, and then spiriting them off to a remote location where they can be subject to “enhanced interrogation techniques,” which we are told are not torture. Another lie. Yet, for all of their tough, most of the top advocates of war have never fought in one. Worse yet, they sought and obtained deferments when others were fighting. You cannot make this stuff up. The irony is incredible. If, as I believe, you reap what you sow, then the ultimate payback for these injustices will be staggering.

Out of malfeasance, fear, ignorance, or incompetence we have implemented the wrong policies and taken the wrong course. I am sad to say, we are losing our liberty and morality and in that sense the terrorists are winning.

As citizens, each and every one of us is somewhat responsible for the actions of our government. In fact, the Constitution states that we are the government. It has been said that evil will flourish if good people do nothing. So, has America lost it way? I am here to submit that while the current administration and the vast majority of Congress are lost, the American people are awake and unhappy.

Our leaders, Republican and Democrat, are meant to serve the people, not their party. Nearly 70% of the American population is against this war, and yet the war goes on. People know what is right, yet the government does the wrong thing. How can this be? We are supposed to be a government OF, FOR, and BY the People. Are we? What do you think? Does our government really represent the American people? Do you think the U.S. government should kill innocent Iraqis or Iranians to make us safer? Have we really exhausted all other avenues?

The huge disconnect between what a majority of this country wants and what our government is doing is the elephant in the room that no one will discuss; and if you think I sound angry, you’re right.

I am angry that my money becomes worth less every year because the Federal Reserve can print money out of thin air. I am angry that the U.S. Government inflation statistics are a lie, thanks to Bill Clinton’s changing of the CPI calculation. I am angry that this change and the Federal Reserve have put the economy on a roller coaster leading to boom and bust cycles that benefit financiers at the expense of the middle class, retirees and the poor. I am angry that Wall Street titans and speculators have been rewarded while savers and honest labor have been punished.

I am angry that honesty is considered quaint and naïve by the political classes. I am angry at the arrogance of those who hold power in Washington, DC. I am angry that the actions of some men in my country have taken away the moral high ground that the U.S. used to occupy. I am angry that my tax dollars are used to fund unnecessary foreign entanglements.

I believe I am not the only one that feels this way. If 70% of the country is opposed to the war, then there is still hope. Of course the mainstream media, the press, and the vested industrial and political interests would have us all believe that we cannot make a difference. They say we need to listen to them as they tell us who the legitimate candidates are, using unscientific polls as validation. In the end, they say we’ll have to choose between the lesser of two evils.

This time I think they have gone too far. Americans may be slow to react, but we are not dumb. I would submit that the outcome of this election it is not so clear. The establishment dam has sprung a leak. It may be small now, but it is growing. It is growing exponentially. The word is spreading. The candidates who represent change are moving up. The candidates who represent the status quo are moving down.

The lines could not be more clearly drawn.

Ron Paul’s message is clear and righteous and true. It resonates with people. When you hear it you say, “That’s right, that’s what I believe”.

This is why he is able to raise "front runner money" despite fighting the only message the media feels comfortable sharing with us: "This man cannot win. He is unconventional." If what we've had is conventional, why would we want convention? Intelligent Americans are beginning to wonder, “Who is this guy that everyone keeps attacking?” They say he cannot win. They say he is a fringe candidate. They say he will lose. I beg to differ.

I think his message is spreading like wildfire and that there is a lot more support out there than the media is giving him credit for. There is a real chance enough people will risk their vote on a candidate who risks telling us the truth despite being scoffed at by the status-quo'ers. There is a real chance, a chance that is becoming more galvanized by the minute, as support begets support, that Ron Paul will be our next President.

Regardless, Dr. Paul has already won by spreading the message of freedom, hope, and empowerment. His message is spreading. It cannot be stopped. I believe history will record the Ron Paul Freedom Movement as a seminal event in the history of U.S. politics. We will see more candidates run for public office with this message of freedom, empowerment, and a commitment to truth. If you want to see the future of US politics this is what it will look like.

It is an honor to support this man. We should be so lucky as to have him for our President.

Having said that, we can all help history along a little bit by supporting the Ron Paul campaign. I ran the USA Today ad because I wanted to plant a seed and make a difference. WE CAN ALL MAKE A DIFFERENCE! Every conversation, every person converted, every e-mail, every effort; it all counts.

So what can you do?

Join our effort to elect Ron Paul as the next President of the United States. Spread the word that we have an opportunity to elect an honest statesman with an impeccable record of voting in line with our Constitution. Vote for peace. Vote for freedom.

Donate to his campaign!

Each contribution represents another American who has said “enough is enough.”

Every contribution helps. $10 is not too little. On December 16th, our collective voices were heard when grassroots supporters for Ron Paul succeeded in organizing the largest one-day fundraiser in political history. Over 58,000 ordinary Americans spoke with their wallets by donating more than $6 million dollars to the Ron Paul campaign in a single day. Together we are proving to be a force to be reckoned with.

And don’t think it is a coincidence that Dr. Paul has received more money from active military personnel than any other candidate.

This is it folks. A once in a lifetime opportunity. We may never see a candidate with more integrity and a better message or track record. Are you going to be a Loyalist or a Patriot?

Our Founding Fathers pledged their lives, fortunes and sacred honors in order to establish this nation. Perhaps we have taken for granted their risks and sacrifices. But now is our chance to make a real difference in the future of our country. We can avoid the temptation of the status-quo and become the new patriots.

Please vote for Ron Paul in your state’s Republican Primary and encourage your friends and neighbors to do the same. You can also learn more at http://www.ronpaul2008.com/ about Ron Paul’s positions on the issues that most concern you.

Sincerely,


Lawrence W. Lepard

work2win
12-20-2007, 12:31 PM
I like the idea and think it might pull those fence-sitters off the fence with the emotional appeal. Everyone needs to hear why this is a turning point in history for our country!

I think you are on the right track. The bullet points are good, the content just needs to be slimmed down. I suggest cutting each point paragraph to a few hard-hitting sentences. You could also merge some of them together if you wanted to retain the news story look.

This revolution never ceases to amaze me with the dedication of the supporters.

work2win
12-20-2007, 12:32 PM
One point I think should be in there is that the average donation on the 16th was $50

Think12345
12-20-2007, 12:38 PM
One point I think should be in there is that the average donation on the 16th was $50

it was $102

Lucid American
12-20-2007, 12:46 PM
For what it's worth, here's my draft. I changed the introduction to resonate with a clearer picture of Paul right off the bat. Throughout I streamlined and changed the voice from passive to active where necessary and omitted what I thought were unnecessary speed/ideological bumps.

Why did I spend $85,000 to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul? Because I care about my children and your children.
Lawrence W. Lepard, American Citizen.


Recently,I placed a full page ad in USA Today supporting the Presidential Candidacy of Congressman Ron Paul. Why? Because Ron Paul is different from your typical “politician”.

Congressman, Doctor, Veteran, Patriot
Ron Paul is a Congressman, medical doctor, veteran and patriot, who has spent his entire political career rigorously defending our Constitution. As an OB/GYN, he has delivered more than 4,000 babies. He has celebrated 50 years of marriage with his wife Carol, and together they share five children, 18 grandchildren, and a great-grandson. He served 5 years in the Air Force and earned the rank of captain. Afterward, he entered politics as a true public servant. Dr. Paul has spent his career, both public and private, serving not lobbyists and special interests but hard-working, red-blooded Americans like you and me. I firmly believe it is time for us to put him in the office where he can best continue to do this.

Given the troubling developments in our world, we face a critical crossroads in our nation’s history. We must decide what we want America to represent and become. History will record our decision not by rhetoric but by actions. If we make the wrong choice, many more innocent people, Americans and others, will die, and history will not be kind. As I say to my closest friends, I do not want to have to explain to my children that I stood silent as others destroyed our country.

The rule of law, not the rule of men . . .
The America I grew up in believed in honesty. The America I grew up in believed in following Judeo-Christian principles, yet embraced those of different faiths and backgrounds. The America I grew up in had religion but was wary of politicians who wore religion on their sleeves. The America I grew up in believed in the golden rule of treating people the way we wanted to be treated.

The America that I grew up in believed in the inherent goodness of most men, while recognizing that evil exists. The America I grew up in believed in guarding against evil, while avoiding becoming that evil we guarded against.

In short, the America that I grew up in was a place where one could be proud of one’s country and thankful to the men and women who had sacrificed so much in the past to give us this heritage. I wake up today as a 50 year old husband and father of three, and I wonder where that America has gone.

I see instead a President who ignores the U.S. Constitution by issuing “signing statements” that have the effect of law. The president he replaced blatantly lied to the American public, lowering the nation’s level of discourse, making lying seem acceptable, and even paved the way toward our current president.

Are these the best leaders this Country can produce? Our choices are now seemingly limited to candidates who cater to the latest opinion polls, who oppose a war they once stood for, and whose stances seem to waver with each passing statement.

We are ensnared in an aggressive, undeclared war against Iraq, a country that never represented a threat to us – a war sold with assertions as empty as our Federal Reserve-created currency, and a war that has left us far less safe, militarily and monetarily, than before we started it.

Ron Paul opposed invading Iraq from the start. Rather than attack an entire nation, he tried to convince Congress and our President to strategically target the terrorists responsible for 9/11. Meanwhile, the current Administration has failed to capture and eliminate the criminals who attacked us. And while those responsible are still at large, our borders are wide open, and our forces are stretched all over the globe.

Is it any wonder that Ron Paul has received more donations from active military personnel than any other candidate?
As former President Ronald Reagan once observed, Ron Paul “knows well the needs of our armed forces, and he always puts them first.” A Paul presidency will strengthen our national defense and keep us out of foreign entanglements that create more enemies than friends. We need a president who will put the national security of the American people, and the safety of our troops, before the interests of oil and industry.

To date this war has lasted longer than World War II and has resulted in a death toll far surpassing those killed on 9/11/01. Do two wrongs make a right? Especially considering the majority of the 9/11 hijackers were Saudis, not Iraqis? We ally ourselves with Saudi Arabia, who is neither democratic nor concerned with human rights, and yet we wage war in Iraq to spread democracy and set an example for the Middle East? The hypocrisy is staggering and the mistakes enormous.

Have you, yourself, looked at pictures of the carnage in Iraq? I wonder how the families and friends of those killed as a result of this war feel about the United States? Are they more or less likely to become terrorists as a result of these current policies of Washington?

In Iraq, we have violated the Geneva Conventions and the Christian Doctrine of Just War, not to mention international law. President Eisenhower once declared, “Preventive war was an invention of Hitler. Frankly, I would not listen to anyone who seriously talked about such a thing”. And yet a whole flock of Presidential candidates have seemingly failed to learn from Iraq and now believe “all options should be on the table” in dealing with Iran. For those of you who do not remember from the build-up to invading Iraq, this language is code for, “we should be prepared to attack Iran with conventional or nuclear weapons”.

Think for a moment . . .
One leading Presidential candidate got a deferment to avoid serving in Vietnam, yet now wants to “double Guantanamo” and thinks his sons’ campaigning for him is equivalent to serving in the military. Another leading candidate sings "bomb Iran" to the tune of The Beach Boy's song, “Barbara Ann”. Joking about bombing a foreign country and killing innocent people is an utter disgrace, but at least this candidate did serve during Vietnam. Most of the other top advocates of war have never fought in one and in fact sought deferments when others were fighting. The irony is incredible, and these people shape policy to the doom of us all.

Government OF, FOR, and BY the People!

Our Constitution states that We the People are the government. It has been said that all it takes for evil to flourish is for good people to do nothing. So, has America lost it soul? I submit that while the current U.S. Administration and the vast majority of the Senate and Congress have lost their souls, the American people have not. Nearly 70% of the American people are against this war, yet the war goes on. The People know what is right, yet the government executes to the contrary. How can this be? We are supposed to be a government OF, FOR and BY the People, aren’t we? Do you truly believe our government represents the American people? Do you truly believe killing innocent people abroad who have never attacked us is moral or makes us at all safer?

Hard work and sacrifice has given our nation tremendous power, and this power comes with enormous responsibility. We are a Constitutional Republic, and through our representation in government, we should expect our government to be a shining example of We the People.

I believe there is a power higher than my government and that the Founders drew upon this power when they drafted the Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution. “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal.” That reads “all men.” Not “all Americans.” The Founders believed, as do I, that All men have God-given rights. Governments are made to protect these rights, not destroy them. Until recently, I believe the American government did a good job of protecting these rights for Americans. But for many years now, I believe our government has abused a trust and led by a different standard when dealing with foreign countries and foreign citizens.

If it sounds like I am mad, you’re right!

I am mad that my money becomes worth less every year because the Federal Reserve can print money out of thin air. I am mad that the U.S. Government inflation statistics are a lie, thanks to Bill Clinton’s changing of the CPI calculation. I am mad that this change and the Federal Reserve have put the economy on a roller coaster leading to boom and bust cycles that benefit financiers at the expense of the middle class, retirees and the poor. I am mad that Wall Street titans and speculators have been rewarded while savers and honest labor have been punished. I am mad that honesty is considered quaint and naive by the political classes. I am mad at the arrogance of those who hold power in Washington, DC. I am mad that the actions of some men in my country have taken away the moral high ground that the U.S. used to occupy. I am mad that my tax dollars are used for weapons rather than for peaceful purposes. I do not want the blood of innocents on my hands.

Americans are a tremendous people. If 70% of us are opposed to the war, then there is still hope. Of course the mainstream media, the press and the vested industrial and political interests would have us all believe that we cannot make a difference. They say we need to listen to them as they tell us who the next President will be. We have to choose between the two war mongering candidates they will serve up to us. We are told who the two front runners are, and we are discouraged from looking elsewhere. Why bother, they say? No one else even stands a chance.

Well, it’s time we proved them wrong! Americans may be slow to react, but we are not dumb. I would submit that the outcome of this election it is not so clear. The establishment dam has sprung a leak which is small now but growing exponentially. Word is spreading that the candidates who represent change are moving up, and those who represent the status quo are moving down.

The lines could not be more clearly drawn.

Ron Paul’s message is clear and beautiful and true. It resonates with people. When you hear it you say, “that’s right, that’s what I believe”.

This is why Ron Paul’s poll numbers are rising faster than any other candidate. Yet, the media still ignore him and treat him poorly. It is beautiful irony that every attack on him only brings him more attention as intelligent Americans wonder, “who is this guy that everyone keeps attacking … I wonder if there is a reason?” They say he cannot win. They say he is a fringe candidate. They say he will lose. I strongly disagree; there is a very good chance he will be our next President. He can already claim one victory by putting forth the message of a Limited Constitutional Government dedicated to Freedom, and people like what they hear. The message he is spreading is like an uncontrollable wildfire: it cannot be stopped. I believe that history will record the Ron Paul Freedom Movement as a profound event in the history of U.S. politics. If you want to see the future of US politics, this is what it will look like.

Having said that, we could all help history along a little bit by supporting the Ron Paul campaign. My favorite movie is “It’s A Wonderful Life”. To me, the message of that movie is that we all make a difference. Individually, none of us has power over the political elites, but collectively they are supposed to work for us. If we self-organize and unite, we have them greatly out numbered. They are terrified, and they should be. The growth in this movement is amazing. We can and will win this struggle. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a defeatist or is working to protect the status quo. I ran the USA Today Advertisement because I wanted to plant a seed and make a difference. WE ALL MAKE A DIFFERENCE. Every conversation, every person converted, every e-mail, every effort; it all counts. The internet is what has made it possible.

So what can you do?

Join the largest grassroots political effort in our nation’s history to elect Ron Paul as the next President of the United States. Spread the word that we have an opportunity to elect an honest statesman with an impeccable record of voting in line with our Constitution.

Vote for peace.
Vote for freedom.
Donate to his campaign!

Each contribution represents another American who has said “enough is enough.” On December 16th, our collective voices were heard when grassroots supporters for Ron Paul succeeded in organizing the largest one-day fundraiser in political history. Over 58,000 ordinary Americans spoke with their wallets by donating more than $6 million dollars to the Ron Paul campaign in a single day. Together we are proving to be a force to be reckoned with.
Think about it. What is freedom worth? Indeed, it is priceless.

The danger to our Republic is real. We must act now!
Please vote for Ron Paul in your state’s Republican Primary and encourage your friends and neighbors to do the same.

You can learn more about Ron Paul’s positions on the issues that most concern you at at www.RonPaulLibrary.org.

Sincerely,


Lawrence W. Lepard

davidkachel
12-20-2007, 01:01 PM
1. Too many "yet"s.... We are allies with Saudi Arabia and yet Saudi Arabia is far from being a democracy. Yet we went to war to create a democracy in Iraq and set an example for the Middle East.
2. Until recently, I believe (make this "believed") the American government did a good job of protecting these rights for Americans.
3. "If it sounds like I am mad, you’re right." This is incorrect English. Use "angry" everywhere you have used "mad".
4. "Has our country ever been so far off track." Needs question mark.
5. Most important: Set yourself the task of removing half the words. The end result will be a message twice as powerful. This will be difficult, but well worthwhile. This ad absolutely needs cutthroat editing. Those who say it is too long are correct. But it is not too long because it simply contains too many words. It is too long because it is not sufficiently powerful for its length. There is a difference.

mstrmac1
12-20-2007, 01:05 PM
OK, to this and Lord Xar's questions.

We are going to run it in the top 10 newspapers in NH.

We think we will run it on Friday, December 28th during the holiday. People will have time to read it and will be relaxed. The primary comes up soon after.

It is going to be a full page advertisement in black and white.

I am not sure on the circulations, I will ask Linda.

It is going to look like a news story.

I am going to sign it.

I agree if you make it look like a news story it will work... but how are you going to grab them to read this news story. How about this:

"Voting in the primary... MUST READ!"

davidkachel
12-20-2007, 01:21 PM
I think it's great; don't let the nay-sayers stop you.

I don't see any nay-sayers here, though admittedly I have yet to read every post.
What I DO see is sound advice to get professional input that is being ignored and was also ignored for the previous ad.

Larry, we are all more grateful for your efforts than you can know, myself included. I mean my hat is off to you and it would be an honor to shake your hand.

But please, it is time to listen! You are not a professional writer or advertising person, or PR man. "Home spun" is one thing, "amateur" is something altogether different. These professional people exist for a reason.

I have provided some feedback, mostly grammatical corrections, but the reality is I have not provided more because I remember from the previous ad that you largely ignored me. That is all well and good. Though I've been published dozens of times in numerous languages, I do not consider myself a "professional" writer. I do however know how to spot the more egregious errors that prevent one from having the very impact one hopes to have.

You are about to spend a lot of money (again) and I know you want to get the greatest value for that money. In the case of writing, the greatest value comes not from publication, but from WHAT is published. A bad advertisement generally has zero effect.

Please hire a ghost writer with a proven track record of persuasion immediately. Your deadline is not as important as the content of what you publish. The difference between poorly written copy and professionally written (or edited) copy is NEVER 10% success vs 20% success. It is 0% success vs 2% success.

I know from past experience that immediately after I post this there will be a flood of posts from people crying, "No Larry, ignore this troll, rush ahead and spend the money. The ad is just great the way it is." It isn't. Really my friend. You probably won't be "wasting" your money, but you will be getting so very much less out of it than you might have.

Mark
12-20-2007, 01:28 PM
I don't see any nay-sayers here, though admittedly I have yet to read every post.
What I DO see is sound advice to get professional input that is being ignored and was also ignored for the previous ad.

Larry, we are all more grateful for your efforts than you can know, myself included. I mean my hat is off to you and it would be an honor to shake your hand.

But please, it is time to listen! You are not a professional writer or advertising person, or PR man. "Home spun" is one thing, "amateur" is something altogether different. These professional people exist for a reason.

I have provided some feedback, mostly grammatical corrections, but the reality is I have not provided more because I remember from the previous ad that you largely ignored me. That is all well and good. Though I've been published dozens of times in numerous languages, I do not consider myself a "professional" writer. I do however know how to spot the more egregious errors that prevent one from having the very impact one hopes to have.

You are about to spend a lot of money (again) and I know you want to get the greatest value for that money. In the case of writing, the greatest value comes not from publication, but from WHAT is published. A bad advertisement generally has zero effect.

Please hire a ghost writer with a proven track record of persuasion immediately. Your deadline is not as important as the content of what you publish. The difference between poorly written copy and professionally written (or edited) copy is NEVER 10% success vs 20% success. It is 0% success vs 2% success.

I know from past experience that immediately after I post this there will be a flood of posts from people crying, "No Larry, ignore this troll, rush ahead and spend the money. The ad is just great the way it is." It isn't. Really my friend. You probably won't be "wasting" your money, but you will be getting so very much less out of it than you might have.

Are we going for "slick" or "real"?

Is Dr Paul "slick" or "real"?

Pingwin
12-20-2007, 01:35 PM
First - I think it's great that you are doing this. Very nice of you to ask for suggestions as well.

I like the Bold text - it is almost a mini-story in the overall message. The points are very powerful. The only one I didn't get (without reading ahead) was the "elephant in the room" My only suggestion is to be a little more explicit in that point. Otherwise, I read your article (at LewRockwell I believe and thought it was great). Looking forward to it.

Mark
12-20-2007, 01:35 PM
Paid Political Message

Why did I spend $85,000 to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul? Because I care about my children and your children.

Lawrence W. Lepard, American Citizen.


Recently, I placed a full page ad in USA Today supporting the Presidential Candidacy of Congressman Ron Paul. Why? Because I believe Ron Paul is different from every other individual who carries the title "politician." In fact, he’s a medical doctor by training, and has delivered 4,000 babies. He is a true public servant. A "Mr. Smith goes to Washington" type of guy. No political lobbyists or vested interests will support him---but I will—and all honest Americans should too.

Given the troubling developments in our world, I firmly believe that we face a very important choice at this time in the history of our nation. We need to make a decision as to what we want America to represent, and to become. History will record the outcome of our decision. If we make the wrong choice, many more innocent people will die, and history will not be kind. As I say to my closest friends, I do not want to have to explain to my children that I stood silent as others destroyed our country.

Please allow me to be very direct.
The America that I grew up in believed in the rule of law, not the rule of men.

The America that I grew up in believed in telling the truth. The America that I grew up in believed in values such as "love thy neighbor”, and the golden rule: “do unto others, as you would have them do unto you”.

The America that I grew up in had a spiritual flavor, but we were wary of those who wore their spirituality on their sleeves. The America that I grew up in believed that you did not lie, cheat or steal. The America that I grew up in believed in the inherent goodness of most people, but recognized that evil exists.

Nevertheless, the America that I grew up in did not believe in an eye for an eye, or retribution. It believed in protecting oneself from evil,
but in the process of doing so, we were cautioned to not become what we were protecting against.

In short, the America that I grew up in was a place where one could be proud of one’s country, and thankful of the heritage given to us by those who have sacrificed so much in the past.

I wake up today as a 50 year old husband and father of three, and I wonder where that America has gone. I see a President who ignores the U.S. Constitution by issuing “signing statements” that have the effect of law. He replaced a President who blatantly lied to the American public. Admittedly, the lie was about something that was none of the public’s business, however, when a country’s President is a liar, it lowers that country’s level of discourse, and makes lying seem almost acceptable. It is not. In point of fact, that lie is a big part of the reason we have our current President. Actions have consequences. Are these the best leaders this Country can produce? Now that second President’s wife is running for President, and claiming she will end the war. However, she initially voted for the war, and recently voted for a resolution against Iran that risks another war.

Can Americans really believe that she will act in our best interests, given all the money she's received from lobbyists and the military industrial complex? Will she end the war, as she now claims in her political advertisements, or is this just a tactic to gain anti-war votes, now that her closest rival is gaining ground? Should we believe her current statement on the war? Or is this new position just another hard to believe claim, like the story she told us about how she traded "cattle futures" so successfully?

This Country is involved, in an aggressive, undeclared war, started against a country that represented no threat to us in any way. We were led into this war by false and inaccurate information. In my opinion, we are far less safe now, than we were before we invaded Iraq. This war has created even more emotionally charged enemies, who now have more reasons to attack us than ever before. Ron Paul had the foresight to vote against invading Iraq.

Rather than attack an entire nation, he tried to convince Congress and our President to strategically target the terrorists responsible for 9/11. The current Administration has failed to capture and eliminate the criminals who perpetrated this crime against us. Those responsible are still at large, our borders are wide open, and our troops are spread thin all over the globe. We need a leader who will protect us with a strong national defense and keep us out of foreign entanglements that, in the end, create more enemies than friends. We need a President who will put the national security of the American people, and the safety of our troops, ahead of the interests of oil companies and the military industrial complex.

To date this war has lasted longer than World War II, and between 100,000 and 1 million innocent people have died. The number of innocent people who have died is between 30 and 300 times the number of people killed on 9/11/2001. Do two wrongs make a right? Furthermore, the majority of the 9/11 hijackers were Saudis. Not Iraqis. Yet, we are allies with Saudi Arabia, a country far from being a democracy, while we were told we started a war in Iraq, to create a democracy, in order to set an example for the Middle East. Do you see the disconnect?

The hypocrisy is staggering. The mistakes that were made are enormous.
Why anyone believes even one thing that is said by the people who led us into this war is a mystery to me.

“We will be greeted as liberators.” Wrong. “Oil revenues will pay the cost.” Wrong. “A secular democracy will emerge and be an inspiration for other countries.” Wrong. The list of misjudgments goes on and on.

Are the civilian Iraqis killed by our preemptive war “collateral damage”, or is that just a euphemism for murder? Have you taken the time to look at the dead’s pictures on the Internet? Will ignoring them make their deaths less real? I wonder how their friends and relatives feel about the United States now? I wonder if they’re more or less likely to become terrorists as a result of the actions of this Administration, who has violated the Geneva Conventions, violated the Christian Doctrine of Just War, and who started a war that is illegal under international law.

As President Eisenhower said, “Preventive war was an invention of Hitler. Frankly, I would not listen to anyone who seriously talked about such a thing”. Before us we see a flock of Presidential candidates, most of whom voted for this war, and many of whom believe “all options should be on the table” in dealing with Iran.
For those who are not current on this subject, that language is code for: we should be prepared to attack Iran with conventional and nuclear weapons.

Think about that for a moment. Leaders in this Country are actually talking about using a nuclear weapon preemptively
against a country that has not attacked us. Are they insane?

I hear Neocon pundits calling for the beginning of World War III. I see an Administration that has suspended habeas corpus. Who has stripped its citizens of the Constitutional protections against an overreaching government. Who has sanctioned “rendition”, which is just another term for the kidnapping of anyone, anywhere, throughout the world, and then spiriting them off to a remote location where they can be subject to “enhanced interrogation techniques,” which we are told are not torture. Another lie. Indeed, this Administration has engaged in torture. One leading Presidential candidate wants to “double Guantanamo”, and thinks his sons’ campaigning for him is equivalent to serving in the military. Of course, that candidate got a deferment to avoid serving in the Vietnam war. Other candidates for the highest office in this land are not any better. I see a war hero candidate who sings "bomb Iran" to the tune of The Beach Boy's song, “Barbara Ann“. How can he make light of killing people? Joking about bombing a foreign country and killing innocent people is a disgrace. However, at least that candidate is a veteran. Most of the other top advocates of war have never fought in one. Worse yet, they sought and obtained deferments while others were fighting. You cannot make this stuff up. The irony is incredible. If, as I believe, you reap what you sow, - then the ultimate payback for these injustices will be staggering.

I see an Administration that thinks it owns and controls the world. I believe this is ethically wrong.

Furthermore, we cannot afford it, so even attempting to run the world is self-defeating. I see an Administration who thinks that we should have bases in the Middle East for the next fifty years. I see a country where the dominant political group, the Neocons, believe the world is a dark and evil place. Perhaps the people who feel this way are projecting their own views onto the rest of the world. Perhaps they need therapy. Perhaps their projection endangers us all!

In short, I wonder if America has lost its moral compass and soul. Out of malfeasance, fear, ignorance, or incompetence, we have implemented the wrong policies and taken the wrong course. Now, effectively, the terrorists are winning. God surely has a great sense of humor, for Irony abounds.

As citizens, each and every one of us is in some way, responsible for the actions of our government. In fact, the Constitution states that we are the government. It’s been said that all it takes for evil to flourish, is for good people to do nothing. So, has America lost it’s soul: yes or no? Perhaps, only the current Administration, and the vast majority of Congress, have lost their souls, while the American people have not. Nearly 70% of the American population is against the war, and yet the war goes on. The vast majority of the American people want peace.

People know what’s right, yet our government does the wrong thing. How can this be? We are supposed to be a government OF, FOR and BY the People. Are we today? What do you think? Does our government really represent the American people? Do you think the U.S. government should kill innocent Iraqis or Iranians in our name to make us safer? Would you advocate killing someone who lives down your street, just because you think they might harm you in the future, even though they have done nothing to you? I don’t, and I believe most American’s would agree with me.

The huge disconnect between what a majority of this country wants, and what our government is doing,
is the elephant in the room that no one will discuss.

I cannot in good conscience, condone or support, the policies of the Neocons, the military industrial complex, or the oil industry. I do not believe in “Full Spectrum Dominance”. I do not believe that “We Are The Indispensable Nation”. I do not believe that we are “History’s Actors.” I do not believe we can “Make Our Own Reality”. I do not believe we should be an Empire. We have great power and military superiority, and we should only use these abilities to protect ourselves, not police the world.

Furthermore, with these powers come enormous responsibility. We are a Constitutional Republic. I believe that there is a power higher than my government, and that the Founders drew upon this power when they drafted the Declaration of Independence, and the U.S. Constitution. “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal.” That reads “all men.” Not “all Americans.” The Founders believed, as do I, that all people have God-given rights. Governments are created to protect our rights, not destroy them. Until recently, the American government did a good job of protecting the rights of Americans. However, now the American government is not.

If you think I'm angry, you’re right.

I'm angry that my money is worth less every year, because the Federal Reserve can print money out of thin air. I'm angry that the U.S. Government inflation statistics are a lie, thanks to Bill Clinton’s changing of the CPI calculation. I'm angry that these changes have put the economy on a roller coaster, leading to boom and bust cycles that benefit financiers at the expense of the middle class, retirees, and the poor. I'm angry that Wall Street titans and speculators have been rewarded, while savers and honest labor have been punished. I'm angry that honesty is considered quaint and naive by the political classes. I'm angry at the arrogance of those who hold power in Washington, DC. I'm angry that the actions of some men in my country, have taken away the moral high ground that the U.S. used to occupy. I'm angry that my tax dollars are used for weapons rather than for peaceful purposes. I do not want the blood of innocent people on my hands.

I'm angry, and I'm not going to take it anymore. And you shouldn‘t have to either.

Individual Americans are great people. If 70% of them are opposed to the war, then there’s still hope. The mainstream media,
and other vested interests, would have us all believe that we can’t make a difference. They say we need to listen to them,
as they tell us who the next President will be. They tell us that we have to choose between the two candidates that they serve up
to us. We’re told who the two front runners are, and we’re discouraged from looking elsewhere. Why bother, they say? No one else stands a chance. Maybe so, …but maybe not. This time I think they’ve gone too far. Americans may sometimes be slow to react, but we're not dumb. I would submit that the outcome of this election is not so clear. The establishment dam has sprung a leak, it's small now, but it's growing. It's growing exponentially. The word is spreading. The candidates who represent change are moving up.
The candidates who represent the status quo are moving down.

The lines could not be more clearly drawn.

Ron Paul’s message is clear and beautiful and true. It resonates with people.
When one hears it, one says, “that’s right, and that’s what I believe”.

That's why his poll numbers are rising faster than any other candidate. Yet, most media still trys to ignore him, or treats him shamefully. It's beautiful irony, that every attack against him, only brings him more attention as intelligent Americans wonder,
“who is this guy that everyone keeps attacking … I wonder if there's a reason?” They say he can't win. They say he's a fringe candidate. They say he’ll lose. I strongly disagree. Because they are wrong.

First, I think there’s a very good chance, that he’ll be our next President. Second, I think he's won already, because he's standing up for everything that is good, right and true about America. He's won by putting forth the message, of a Limited Constitutional Government, dedicated to Freedom, and people like what he says. The message he's spreading is like an uncontrollable wildfire.
It cannot be stopped. I believe that history, will record the Ron Paul Freedom Movement, as an earth shaking event in the history of American politics. If you want to see the future of American politics, look towards Ron Paul, because he’s what it will look like.

It’s an honor to support this man. We should be so lucky to have him as our President.

We can all help history move along by supporting the Ron Paul Campaign. My favorite movie is: It’s A Wonderful Life. To me, the message of that movie is that we all make a difference. Individually, none of us have the power of the Neocons and the political classes, but as “We The People”, they're supposed to work for us. If we self-organize and unite, we have them greatly out numbered. They’re terrified, and they should be. The growth in this movement is amazing. We can and will win this struggle. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a defeatist, or is working to protect the status quo.. I ran the USA Today Advertisement because I wanted to plant a seed and make a difference. WE ALL MAKE A DIFFERENCE. Every conversation, every person converted, every e-mail, every effort; it all counts. The Internet has made it all possible.

What a beautiful thing. The trend is really changing, and it's fun to watch the old guard struggle, as their fortress crumbles.

So what can you do?

Join our effort to elect Ron Paul as the next President of the United States. Spread the word that we have an opportunity now to elect an honest statesman, who has an impeccable record, of voting in line with our Constitution. Vote for peace. Vote for freedom. Vote for Ron Paul!

Sincerely,

Lawrence W. Lepard

Learn more at www.RonPaulLibrary.org (http://www.RonPaulLibrary.org) concerning Ron Paul's positions on the issues that most concern you.
His website is www.RonPaul2008.com (http://www.RonPaul2008.com)

Note: added "you" - word count 2905

~~~~~~~~

Would you advocate killing someone who lives down your street, just because you think they might harm you in the future,
even though they have done nothing to you?

The huge disconnect between what a majority... ...elephant...

davidkachel
12-20-2007, 01:37 PM
Are we going for "slick" or "real"?

Is Dr Paul "slick" or "real"?

(See what I mean? At least he didn't call me a troll.)

You have completely missed the point.
I repeat, an amateur effort will have NO effect or a negative one.
"Professional" is NOT synonymous with "slick". (Hillary is slick. Fred Thompson is amateur. RP is professional.)
Does everyone on this forum rush out into the street without stopping to look for oncoming traffic?

LSUiLike
12-20-2007, 01:40 PM
I will say that if you go with what you've got there are quite a few things I see in the article that are less than ideal. The pacifist arguments and use of the word "beautiful" will turn off a lot of folks. You have to be careful not to bash religion or the establishment too hard, particularly the latter or you'll come off looking like a kooky conspiracy supporter of Paul. You really want to appeal to as many people as possible and some issues are so mainstream they don't need to be said. Almost everyone agrees we went into Iraq for the wrong reasons.

Mark
12-20-2007, 01:42 PM
First - I think it's great that you are doing this. Very nice of you to ask for suggestions as well.

I like the Bold text - it is almost a mini-story in the overall message. The points are very powerful. The only one I didn't get (without reading ahead) was the "elephant in the room" My only suggestion is to be a little more explicit in that point. Otherwise, I read your article (at LewRockwell I believe and thought it was great). Looking forward to it.

It may mean this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elephant_in_the_room

The elephant in the room is an English (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_language) idiom (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idiom) ......for an obvious truth (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truth) that is being ignored or goes unaddressed.

It is based on the idea that an elephant (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elephant) in a small room would be impossible to overlook.

It sometimes is used to refer to a question or problem that very obviously stands to reason,
but which is ignored for the convenience of one or more involved parties.

The idiom also implies a value judgment (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Value_judgment) that the issue should be discussed openly.

davidkachel
12-20-2007, 01:45 PM
I'll make one last comment then leave this discussion because it will be what it will be. I can't say anything more of value after this:

Larry,

You don't want a professional for the purpose of writing something for you. You want a professional to put what you want to say in a better and more effective form.
Once you see that version alongside yours, you will be very happy you spent the money and took the extra time. (Oh, and NO ONE's cousin, friend or uncle is EVER a professional writer no matter how many people tell you he/she is.)

Mark
12-20-2007, 01:46 PM
(See what I mean? At least he didn't call me a troll.)

You have completely missed the point.
I repeat, an amateur effort will have NO effect or a negative one.
"Professional" is NOT synonymous with "slick". (Hillary is slick. Fred Thompson is amateur. RP is professional.)
Does everyone on this forum rush out into the street without stopping to look for oncoming traffic?

The USA Today ad. Did it have any effect other than "none" or "negative"?

davidkachel
12-20-2007, 01:52 PM
OK, I do have to make another comment, sorry, but I didn't see this terrible suggestion until just now.

What is the reaction of everyone here when they read an article in the newspaper, only to discover it was really a disguised advertisement?

Exactly!

Bossobass
12-20-2007, 02:09 PM
Ron Paul's Presidential Bid Turned One Man's Frustration Into Optimism Leading
To The Purchase Last Month Of A Full Page $85,000.00 National Ad In Usa Today.

Read About Why He Did It, In His Own Words...

DirtMcGirt
12-20-2007, 02:23 PM
love the idea on post #50 with the dotted line around the outside... you are a true patriot and inspire us all, thanks

Mark
12-20-2007, 02:33 PM
Ron Paul's Presidential Bid Turned One Man's Frustration Into Optimism Leading
To The Purchase Last Month Of A Full Page $85,000.00 National Ad In Usa Today.

Read About Why He Did It, In His Own Words...



Read all about it!! Read all about it!! ---> http://newpress.tv/

**I don't know what I was thinking, but I hadn't noticed.

Maybe I didn't notice because I wasn't thinking.

Remember the letter Larry wrote a bit back that everyone loved? About his USA Today ad?
I put it up as the inaugural home page of NewPress.tv ~ Check it out. Look familiar? ;)

(google NewPress.tv they've even picked it up now)

LibertyEagle
12-20-2007, 03:25 PM
bump

smtwngrl
12-20-2007, 04:10 PM
Casual readers are just going to skip over it, it's information overload.


It is too much. Even Ron Paul supporters aren't going to read all of it. I got partway through, and I couldn't bring myself to finish it in one sitting.

Also, it starts to come across like a rant. There are some things that are going to come across negatively, even for those who are not pro-war. I think it's possible for you to do this, though, and say what you want to say in a way that will come across positively.

I'm going to go back in a little while and read completely through it before saying more.

shadowhooch
12-20-2007, 04:27 PM
Mr. Lepard,

Here's my 2 cents.....

It seems you have 4 main themes in this essay and I would organize them and consolidate them as such:

1) MY AMERICA
2) WHAT AMERICAN HAS BECOME
3) OTHER CANDIDATES
4) RON PAUL IS DIFFERENT

Just organize and sift through the main points in each of those. It will be fairly apparent on what is redundant or secondary when you sort your ideas like this, so those things should be deleted. Finally sandwich it all between a nice intro and conclusion. Yours are pretty good, but here's one specific change I suggest:
In the intro, I would mention Ron Paul's devotion to the Constitution as the reason why lobbyists and special interests don't bother with him.

Even furthering the idea, you could have 4 boxes with MY America and Ron Paul and their points side by side.
Then What America Has Become and Other Candidates side by side. Just thoughts on organization and "pop" for reader appeal.

Great stuff!

smtwngrl
12-20-2007, 04:44 PM
"or is that just a euphemism for murder?"

Those are harsh, painful words. No matter how wrong your own country has
behaved no one wants to hear such an accusation and they will
resists and find other reasons not to vote for him.


I thought the same thing when I read that. I think you could say "or is that just a euphemism?" without the words "for murder". It gets across the point, but without the same harshness.

smtwngrl
12-20-2007, 04:50 PM
Another observation: It seems to me that the MSM has turned the term "neocon" into a negative (equating and connecting it with conspiracy nuts or racists)...IMHO, phrases like "members of the Bush Administration" or "promoters/proponents/supporters of the Bush Administration's war plans" are clearer to the general public, without negative connotations.


Actually, I think just saying neo-conservatives instead of neocons sounds more like a term for an ideology versus name calling, which is the way "neo-cons" comes across.

Mentioning Bush sounds like bashing Bush.

kill the banks
12-20-2007, 05:21 PM
i was thinking , what about using a template for background similar to your last ad ... might stand out more and be more attractive ... also a theme to it like founding fathers is a thousand words in itself

and you can not be thanked enough , i really feel civilization is at a crossroads

kill the banks

LibertyForAll
12-20-2007, 05:39 PM
A picture is worth a thousand words....if you can supplement the text, pare it down some, with a picture of the many Ron Paul supporters at his rallies, it will generate "eye interest" for people to want to learn why so many are supporting him. Just my 2 cents.

acstichter
12-20-2007, 06:10 PM
Lawrence W. Lepard,

You're mark on this country's future will forever endure. Thank you sir.

JaredR26
12-20-2007, 06:22 PM
If you go with a full page ad(looks like there's no choice there anymore) then something has to be done to avoid the information overload problem.

If possible split this up into 2 articles. Make it appear like two articles on the page:

1. Why the country is fuxxed, why the other candidates suck.
2. Why Ron Paul is the exception to the rule and the chance at redemption.

This would serve 2 purposes- A it looks like an article, not a full page wordy ad. 2, it dodges the information overflow issue, 2 articles are no where near as imposing as one big one.

More comments to come later.

CelestialRender
12-20-2007, 06:51 PM
Thanks again, Mr Lepard. Keep up the great work for the rEVOLution.

(Looks great...it's a little info heavy, but RP is too.)

LSUiLike
12-21-2007, 08:35 AM
Oh, and really consider cutting out references to other candidates. I'm not sure mentioning them will be effective enough to warrant putting their names in.

Todd
12-21-2007, 09:13 AM
Lawrence,

In my opinion the key to effective communications is being as clear and conscience as possible.


Best of luck either way!

Lawrence.

I think some are right about this point above...Hope you will consider it...but we will trust that whatever your decision..you know what your doing because you have been an asset to the grassroots effort. Thanks again.

MRoCkEd
12-21-2007, 09:35 AM
A picture is worth a thousand words....if you can supplement the text, pare it down some, with a picture of the many Ron Paul supporters at his rallies, it will generate "eye interest" for people to want to learn why so many are supporting him. Just my 2 cents.
Absolutely show a crowd to point out the support he truly has

AceNZ
12-21-2007, 04:15 PM
Is anyone sure that llepard really wants our feedback? He has been conspicuously absent from this thread.

szczebrzeszyn
12-21-2007, 04:44 PM
it was $102
$102 was the mean amount, $50 was the median. Just to clarify that.

amy31416
12-21-2007, 05:09 PM
Beautifully written, it's going to be difficult to decide what to cut, but I'll give it some serious thought.

TruckinMike
12-21-2007, 06:23 PM
PLEASE TAKE HEED:

We are trying to sell "Ron Paul" -- keep aware of your clients perspective (pro-war Republicans).

Here is a short little sales story...

My grandfather, my father, myself and almost all of my immediate family have been building American made automobile engines for the past 60 years. Its our lives and our futures.

And you have an Superb American product, A product that you completely believe in, its a fantastic car that you want to sell to me. But it has a Japanese engine. From what perspective, or angle do you approach me? Do you try and sell me on the greatness of the engine, or do you try to sell the other features to me and downplay the significance of the Japanese engine?--- All the while knowing its better

When you emphasize the ANTI-WAR position and why... you are selling me on the engine... Get it? Bad --- Not good for garnering car sells or votes from pro-war republicans.

The Majority of Republicans ARE SOLD on the PRO-WAR stance. The correct angle would be to downplay the war significance and promote the freedom and constitution issues.(like your first ad)

As it sits, this ad is great if you are going after DEMOCRATS --- but terrible if you trying to sway Pro-war republicans.

TruckinMike

hawkeyenick
12-21-2007, 06:25 PM
PLEASE TAKE HEED:

We are trying to sell "Ron Paul" -- keep aware of your clients perspective (pro-war Republicans).

Here is a short little sales story...

My grandfather, my father, myself and almost all of my immediate family have been building American made automobile engines for the past 60 years. Its our lives and our futures.

And you have an Superb American product, A product that you completely believe in, its a fantastic car that you want to sell to me. But it has a Japanese engine. From what perspective, or angle do you approach me? Do you try and sell me on the greatness of the engine, or do you try to sell the other features to me and downplay the significance of the Japanese engine?--- All the while knowing its better

When you emphasize the ANTI-WAR position and why... you are selling me on the engine... Get it? Bad --- Not good for garnering car sells or votes from pro-war republicans.

The Majority of Republicans ARE SOLD on the PRO-WAR stance. The correct angle would be to downplay the war significance and promote the freedom and constitution issues.(like your first ad)

As it sits, this ad is great if you are going after DEMOCRATS --- but terrible if you trying to sway Pro-war republicans.

TruckinMike

He's not going to listen.

I already asked him to remove the wordiness and replace it with a hook to get them to read the words somewhere else...but he is too stubborn.

It's his money, let him waste it as he sees fit

jorlowitz
12-21-2007, 06:40 PM
He's not going to listen.

I already asked him to remove the wordiness and replace it with a hook to get them to read the words somewhere else...but he is too stubborn.

It's his money, let him waste it as he sees fit

Guys' giving up tens of thousands of dollars to support the campaign. Maybe he gets to have the final say? Don't you think?

hawkeyenick
12-21-2007, 06:40 PM
Guys' giving up tens of thousands of dollars to support the campaign. Maybe he gets to have the final say? Don't you think?

that's what I just said

it's his money to waste

LFOD
12-21-2007, 06:46 PM
I don't agree with the ad concept. However, I'm not omniscient enough to know it won't work. I mean, people singing a Ron Paul version of the 12 Days of Christmas got on CNN.

Lost Myth
12-21-2007, 06:47 PM
As a personal testimony, he shouldn't emphasize certain points over others just to appeal to what people *might* think or be persuaded by. It'll lose it's truthfulness and what we need here is one citizen speaking to another.

TruckinMike
12-21-2007, 06:48 PM
Do not get fixated! I've made that type of mistake in the past in advertising-- because " I just knew it was great" --- Please step back, and take a second and third look.

But If you have to run this ad -- ONLY run it in LEFT WING PAPERS!!! For Our sake, and your money ---- PLEASE!

TM

Energy
12-21-2007, 06:59 PM
Some golden rules of advertising: KNOW your audience. Don't fall in love with your work.

1913_to_2008
12-21-2007, 07:16 PM
Thank You Mr. Lepard