Pimpin Turtle Dot Com
12-19-2007, 05:39 PM
Written by myhat2u
U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney has begun construction on a new weapon destined to be the most powerful yet in the American Empire, Ron Paul rebels said today.
The new weapon has been codenamed the "Death Blimp" according to documents captured by the Paul rebels. The documents were intercepted in an e-mail as it passed through the Internet, home to the Paul rebel base.
Lord Rothschild of the Bilderberg group ordered Cheney to begin construction of the massive war machine, rebel spies reported. Ostensibly it is to be used in an upcoming war with Iran, but the Paul rebels fear that the Death Blimp could be used to destroy the rebel fleet, which currently consists of a single rented dirigible. The Empire's new Death Blimp will be at least 25 times the size of the Ron Paul blimp, which is currently patrolling the Eastern coast of the United States on a diplomatic mission.
Some Paul supporters doubt that a blimp that large will be able to fly. "It will go down like a lead zeppelin," remarked Keith Entwistle, a Paul supporter.
But other Paul supporters are preparing for the worst. Hal Jawarski, a Paul volunteer, shovels coal in boiler room one aboard the Ron Paul blimp. He was asked if the Paul blimp could outrun the Death Blimp if required.
"We've outrun large hot-air balloons, not the local hot-air jubilee event balloons, mind you," Jawarski bragged. "I'm talking about the big, corporate-sponsored balloons. She's fast enough."
But the coal and steam powered Ron Paul blimp may not be fast enough to stay ahead of the Death Blimp after all, airship experts say, because the quality of the fuel source also needs to be considered. The Paul blimp burns coal to propel itself, whereas information about the Death Blimp shows that it will use faster burning Federal Reserve dollars--a virtually inexhaustible source of fuel that can be stored in the Death Blimp's massive cargo hold areas. The Federal Reserve dollars will also allow the Death Blimp to inflate much faster than the Paul blimp.
"Well, that's the trick, isn't it?" Jawarski asked after learning of the Death Blimp's fuel source. "And it's going to cost us something extra. We'll have to ask the Paul donors for more blimp money so we can make the jump to high speed."
However, some Paul rebels aren't too worried about the future. They say that even if the Death Blimp survives its solo flight, any use of the Death Blimp against the rebel fleet probably won't occur until after the bombing of Iran.
"Cheney won't be able to bomb Iran on schedule," one Paul rebel predicts. "The public's enthusiasm for the Empire's war plans is lukewarm at best, so we think the Iran attack will be de-Leia'd."
http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i27870&rating=5#rating
U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney has begun construction on a new weapon destined to be the most powerful yet in the American Empire, Ron Paul rebels said today.
The new weapon has been codenamed the "Death Blimp" according to documents captured by the Paul rebels. The documents were intercepted in an e-mail as it passed through the Internet, home to the Paul rebel base.
Lord Rothschild of the Bilderberg group ordered Cheney to begin construction of the massive war machine, rebel spies reported. Ostensibly it is to be used in an upcoming war with Iran, but the Paul rebels fear that the Death Blimp could be used to destroy the rebel fleet, which currently consists of a single rented dirigible. The Empire's new Death Blimp will be at least 25 times the size of the Ron Paul blimp, which is currently patrolling the Eastern coast of the United States on a diplomatic mission.
Some Paul supporters doubt that a blimp that large will be able to fly. "It will go down like a lead zeppelin," remarked Keith Entwistle, a Paul supporter.
But other Paul supporters are preparing for the worst. Hal Jawarski, a Paul volunteer, shovels coal in boiler room one aboard the Ron Paul blimp. He was asked if the Paul blimp could outrun the Death Blimp if required.
"We've outrun large hot-air balloons, not the local hot-air jubilee event balloons, mind you," Jawarski bragged. "I'm talking about the big, corporate-sponsored balloons. She's fast enough."
But the coal and steam powered Ron Paul blimp may not be fast enough to stay ahead of the Death Blimp after all, airship experts say, because the quality of the fuel source also needs to be considered. The Paul blimp burns coal to propel itself, whereas information about the Death Blimp shows that it will use faster burning Federal Reserve dollars--a virtually inexhaustible source of fuel that can be stored in the Death Blimp's massive cargo hold areas. The Federal Reserve dollars will also allow the Death Blimp to inflate much faster than the Paul blimp.
"Well, that's the trick, isn't it?" Jawarski asked after learning of the Death Blimp's fuel source. "And it's going to cost us something extra. We'll have to ask the Paul donors for more blimp money so we can make the jump to high speed."
However, some Paul rebels aren't too worried about the future. They say that even if the Death Blimp survives its solo flight, any use of the Death Blimp against the rebel fleet probably won't occur until after the bombing of Iran.
"Cheney won't be able to bomb Iran on schedule," one Paul rebel predicts. "The public's enthusiasm for the Empire's war plans is lukewarm at best, so we think the Iran attack will be de-Leia'd."
http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i27870&rating=5#rating