(humor) Russian spy caught in Massachusetts

[Swordsmyth]

On the lam for 3 years:

https://www.yahoo.com/sy/ny/api/res/1.2/y3S5dy87zNxy0DuP5DgDyQ--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjtzbT0xO3c9ODAw/http://media.zenfs.com/en-US/homerun/the_huffington_post_584/9084cbdd6f877810a98c9676da471f56
About a mile from Steve’s old home, couple Josuhua Bennet-Johnson and Andrea Coughlan saw a little tortoise in their yard. Coughlan, who has experience working with wildlife, realized something was amiss. Russian tortoises in the wild are native to Central Asia (https://tortoise.org/archives/russ.html?ncid=edlinkushpmg00000313), so you don’t normally see them wandering around Massachusetts yards.The couple did some research, and eventually, social media led them Steve’s previous owners.
After seeing photos, Tsvetanova and her son were convinced it was Steve. He had the same face and the same markings on his underbelly. Tsvetanova said her son, who is now 16, cried with happiness when he heard the news.
The family’s friends in Waltham plan to reunite Steve with his old humans soon. We’re sure they’ll have a big shell-ebration.




More at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/steve-missing-tortoise-found-massachussetts_us_5973af99e4b00e4363dfe3df?ncid=ed linkushpmg00000313

[agitator]

CNN Report: Millions Of American Voters May Have Colluded To Elect Trump

http://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-report-millions-american-voters-may-colluded-elect-trump/


U.S.—A new, exclusive CNN investigative report revealed Thursday that millions of American voters may have potentially colluded with the Trump campaign to elect Donald Trump as President of the United States.

While Russia has been accused of interfering in the election, the breaking report indicates that the collusion may have extended to a significant portion of the U.S. population—“as many as 60 million citizens, and possibly even more.”

“The conspiracy goes much deeper than anyone expected,” Jake Tapper said on his news segment The Politics Lead. “We’re talking tens of millions of people involved in this secret plot to make sure Hillary didn’t make it into the White House and to prop up Donald Trump as the winner.”

The CNN report does not accuse anyone of hacking or rigging the vote, but rather suggests that those colluding with the real estate mogul in the far-reaching scheme may have simply walked into voting booths and cast their vote for Donald Trump, giving him the electoral college victory.

“It’s far more sinister than we thought,” a visibly disturbed Tapper said.