jdbrown
06-28-2007, 12:38 PM
I read something yesterday regarding which operating systems different
presidential candidates are using on their campaign servers. It got me
thinking a bit and I came up with the following:
If operating systems were more like politics:
The liberal os would be free for everyone. The government tells the
people that all operating systems produced by private parties are
based on exploitation of the consumers and the employees of the
company. Therefore the only good os is one produced by the government
and distributed for free. They create a new department to oversee bug
reports. Another one is in charge of distribution. An additional
department is created to oversee technical support. Unfortunately it
takes 16 weeks to acknowledge receipt of a bug report and another 20
weeks to create a fix. There is a line outside the technical support
office that has a 10 hour wait so you can talk to a government
employee that gets paid minimum wage, has only barely used the
operating system, and takes a two hour lunch break as soon as you get
to the front of the line. To cover the additional departmental costs,
taxes are increased by an amount equivalent to $1000 per US citizen.
The green party os is identical to the democrat one, but requires a
larger tax increase because all the computers used in development are
made from recycled materials and are run from energy produced using
solar panels on top of each building. Also, any corporation using the
green party os that runs it using carbon-based energy gets charged
$1000 per copy.
The right-wing Christian-conservative operating system is not built by
the federal government. They offer a few modules and modules and tell
the states to develop their own copies. To gain support for the idea
from their base they offer special incentives and tax discounts to
Christian organizations that help develop the modules. When the plan
is passed, they institute a national day of prayer and thanksgiving to
God for revealing His truth that any good operating system is formed
through a process of "intelligent design."
The neo-conservative operating system is promised to be fast,
efficient, cheap, and easy to use. Unfortunately they hire developers
from foreign countries, switch projects left and right on the
developers, reduce benefits, and finally fire them in favor of other
developers. In response, the developers leave behind poorly written
and uncommented code. A few of the computers in the development office
crash. The office proclaims that it is the result of terrorist attacks
from foreign fascists that hate our cheap and efficient operating
systems. War is declared on every nation the developers ever did any
coding work for (except the US). Meanwhile several new departments are
created. One adds security features to the os to "protect the software
of our citizens from terrorist attacks" and another recruits agents to
covertly enter the homes of everyone running a copy of the os and scan
the computer for any malicious software. Protests are met with the
response that, "It's for the good of the country. Why should you care
if you don't have something to hide? You're not being patriotic!"
The libertarians get into office and are asked about an operating
system. They respond, "If you think it's important enough to have one,
go write your own *#(% operating system!"
JB
presidential candidates are using on their campaign servers. It got me
thinking a bit and I came up with the following:
If operating systems were more like politics:
The liberal os would be free for everyone. The government tells the
people that all operating systems produced by private parties are
based on exploitation of the consumers and the employees of the
company. Therefore the only good os is one produced by the government
and distributed for free. They create a new department to oversee bug
reports. Another one is in charge of distribution. An additional
department is created to oversee technical support. Unfortunately it
takes 16 weeks to acknowledge receipt of a bug report and another 20
weeks to create a fix. There is a line outside the technical support
office that has a 10 hour wait so you can talk to a government
employee that gets paid minimum wage, has only barely used the
operating system, and takes a two hour lunch break as soon as you get
to the front of the line. To cover the additional departmental costs,
taxes are increased by an amount equivalent to $1000 per US citizen.
The green party os is identical to the democrat one, but requires a
larger tax increase because all the computers used in development are
made from recycled materials and are run from energy produced using
solar panels on top of each building. Also, any corporation using the
green party os that runs it using carbon-based energy gets charged
$1000 per copy.
The right-wing Christian-conservative operating system is not built by
the federal government. They offer a few modules and modules and tell
the states to develop their own copies. To gain support for the idea
from their base they offer special incentives and tax discounts to
Christian organizations that help develop the modules. When the plan
is passed, they institute a national day of prayer and thanksgiving to
God for revealing His truth that any good operating system is formed
through a process of "intelligent design."
The neo-conservative operating system is promised to be fast,
efficient, cheap, and easy to use. Unfortunately they hire developers
from foreign countries, switch projects left and right on the
developers, reduce benefits, and finally fire them in favor of other
developers. In response, the developers leave behind poorly written
and uncommented code. A few of the computers in the development office
crash. The office proclaims that it is the result of terrorist attacks
from foreign fascists that hate our cheap and efficient operating
systems. War is declared on every nation the developers ever did any
coding work for (except the US). Meanwhile several new departments are
created. One adds security features to the os to "protect the software
of our citizens from terrorist attacks" and another recruits agents to
covertly enter the homes of everyone running a copy of the os and scan
the computer for any malicious software. Protests are met with the
response that, "It's for the good of the country. Why should you care
if you don't have something to hide? You're not being patriotic!"
The libertarians get into office and are asked about an operating
system. They respond, "If you think it's important enough to have one,
go write your own *#(% operating system!"
JB