Why is The Federal Government Giving Marshmallow-Roasting Advice?

[tangent4ronpaul]

http://politix.topix.com/news/14010-why-is-the-federal-government-giving-marshmallow-roasting-advice

3045

House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy doesn't want s'more federal guidelines on safely roasting marshmallows.

The California Republican took the U.S. Forest Service to task on Thursday for devoting a 700-word blog post to the timeless tradition of marshmallow roasting, The Wire reports.

"I don't know if you caught this, but last Friday the Forest Service published an article about how to roast marshmallows," McCarthy wrote in a memo to House Republicans that also detailed the chamber's legislative agenda for the month. "Tips included using a roasting stick of at least 30 inches in length and substituting fruit for the chocolate and slices of angel food cake for graham crackers."

"This perfectly captures what is wrong with our government," McCarthy added.

Hard-earned tax dollars supporting bureaucrats who can't pass up an opportunity to tell us how to live our lives. For the things that government is supposed to do - like confront terrorist groups - we don't have a strategy, but for things Americans are supposed to be able to do for themselves - like figuring out the best ingredients for s'mores - government bureaucrats have that figured out.
Our government today lacks common sense and competency. And the American people know it.
The U.S. Forest Service recently published a nearly 700-word article on how to safely roast marshmallows, all in preparation for National Roasted Marshmallow Day.

"First, let's talk safety," the article says. "Never start a campfire when there are fire restrictions in place. The restrictions are put in place for your safety and for the safety of others."

It also warns that children should be given a stern talking-to before any of the "fun" begins.

"Some experts advocate a 10-foot rule between young children and a campfire," it reads. "For more information about campfire safety, let Smokey Bear guide you."

Finally, the article gets down to "marshmallow basics," and starts by recommending the use of a roasting stick "of at least 30 inches."

-t

[Origanalist]

I for one am glad the federal government cares enough to take the time to show how to roast marshmallows. Otherwise, anarchy. And we can't have that.

[Natural Citizen]

I for one am glad the federal government cares enough to take the time to show how to roast marshmallows. Otherwise, anarchy. And we can't have that.

I know this is off topic but I just learned a new trick the other day. Did you know that you can take one of those flimsy metal leaf rakes and use each prong to stick a hot dog on and then roast them over the camp fire? You can fit like 20 dogs on that thing. Go figger...

http://campingchick.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/hotdograke.jpg?w=558&h=672

[Origanalist]

I know this is off topic but I just learned a new trick the other day. Did you know that you can take one of those flimsy metal leaf rakes and use each prong to stick a hot dog on and then roast them over the camp fire? You can fit like 20 dogs on that thing. Go figger...

http://campingchick.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/hotdograke.jpg?w=558&h=672

Or you could use that grill they stuck it through.......:)

[Natural Citizen]

Or you could use that grill they stuck it through.......:)

I don't get it. What is it?

[Origanalist]

I don't get it. What is it?

https://sp3.yimg.com/ib/th?id=HN.608051701625782671&pid=15.1&P=0

[tod evans]

Thank goodness for governmental instructions!

Children must be protected and we all know such simple things as "fire is hot" cannot be grasped adequately without governments assistance..

:rolleyes:

[Natural Citizen]

https://sp3.yimg.com/ib/th?id=HN.608051701625782671&pid=15.1&P=0

Oh. I see now. You mean they could have just flipped the thing over and laid them on there. Took me a minute, O. :)

[Origanalist]

Thank goodness for governmental instructions!

Children must be protected and we all know such simple things as "fire is hot" cannot be grasped adequately without governments assistance..

:rolleyes:

Is that why my hand keeps hurting when I use a short stick????:confused:

[tod evans]

Is that why my hand keeps hurting when I use a short stick????:confused:

Government will provide suitable sticks and supervision, just check the appropriate box on the ballot....

[NorthCarolinaLiberty]

I'm just surprised that anybody still makes a metal rake.

[tangent4ronpaul]

substituting fruit for the chocolate and slices of angel food cake for graham crackers

Michael Obama's fingerprints are all over this...


"Some experts advocate a 10-foot rule between young children and a campfire,"

Like that is sooo going to happen! Isn't the purpose of a camp fire to keep you warm and let you roast marshmallows?

F'n nannystaters!

:rolleyes:

-t

[tangent4ronpaul]

I'm just surprised that anybody still makes a metal rake.

Have no fear comrade! They are due to be banned in the next assault weapon(sic) bill along with knives that are pointy or can accept an edge and glass bottles.

-t

[Natural Citizen]

I'm just surprised that anybody still makes a metal rake.

Those ones in the picture I posted are perfect for going over crabgrass in the fall before you cut. It makes it stand up instead of spreading along the ground.Which is what I have to do today now that I think of it.

[phill4paul]

The restrictions are put in place for your safety and for the safety of others."

Of course they are. Who, in their right mind, would be against safety for themselves and other?

[tod evans]

This goes here;

3046

[pcosmar]

I am wondering how long it will be for the first arrest for improper marshmallow roasting. :(

[tangent4ronpaul]

I am wondering how long it will be for the first arrest for improper marshmallow roasting. :(

Arrest, amesh...

they execute people for "trespassing" on "public land" and god help you if you're a cow - they go all ISIS on you with mass graves and stuff...

LOL @TE - good one!
+rep

-t

[The Free Hornet]

The mistake I've seen my nephews/nieces make is burning the marshmellow which is less palatable (for most tastes, IMO) and less healthy.


The degree a marshmallow is roasted runs the gamut, from the barely cooked, light caramel-colored outer layer to the flaming marshmallow that contains a gooey interior wrapped by a crispy, blackened shell.

Yet they practically encourage that AGE (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advanced_glycation_end-product)-inducing option:

http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5596/15071187431_0af234c63a.jpg

I think tangent nailed it with the Michelle Obama angle. Who the hell is going to have angel food cake at a weenie roast?! More so, are there benefits of angel food cake versus graham crackers?

Comments from the blog are worthwhile. I like the tips from one but I think browning the marshmellow is unnecessary (i.e., you should be able to have a sufficiently piping hot non-browned/burnt marshmallow that will quickly melt the chocolate and is easy to squish down):


Marcia Mellow says:
08/29/2014 at 6:46 PM

Additional tips for perfect S’mores:
• First, place your chocolate on the graham cracker and set it on a piece of tinfoil close enough to your fire to melt slightly while you are roasting
• Use a forked roasting stick, this will help prevent the M’mellow from just spinning on the stick as its yummy center gooifies.
• Take your time; your patience will be rewarded with a lightly browned, perfectly gooey mellow.
• Rotate slowly as you roast to ensure even goodness throughout.
• Don’t get too close to the heat; stay at least 1-2 feet (depending on intensity) away from the coals or open flame. Yes, it might take several minutes to get a good golden brown from this distance. Good things come to those who wait.
• Never let your mellow catch fire. Anybody that says they prefer their marshmellow burnt on the outside is really just wrong or too impatient to do it correctly.
• Once properly browned, place the mellow (with the stick still inside) on top of your chocolaty graham. Use the other graham to hold the mellow in place as you remove the stick.
• Enjoy! Brag about being a zen master of the S’more and pass your knowledge on to the next generation.

http://blogs.usda.gov/2014/08/29/us-forest-service-asks-how-does-your-marshmallow-roast/

[oyarde]

I know this is off topic but I just learned a new trick the other day. Did you know that you can take one of those flimsy metal leaf rakes and use each prong to stick a hot dog on and then roast them over the camp fire? You can fit like 20 dogs on that thing. Go figger...

http://campingchick.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/hotdograke.jpg?w=558&h=672
I just stick brats and pork shoulder steaks on my pitchfork if the Mrs is not here. All of my 2 & 3 yr old Grand Daughters thinks it is cool so they do not rat on me .

[oyarde]

I'm just surprised that anybody still makes a metal rake.

I bought two at a yard sale this yr because I was down to one .I think they still have them at Menards , but when they are new , they are painted .

[Jackie Moon]

"substituting fruit for the chocolate and slices of angel food cake for graham crackers."

http://media1.giphy.com/media/nu6XLY6QHeUk8/giphy.gif

Nothing against angel food cake and fruit, that can be good too... but that's not a s'more.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AWMxtHPylc

[oyarde]

And why is it I am paying for a US Forest Service anyway ?

[Natural Citizen]

I just stick brats and pork shoulder steaks on my pitchfork if the Mrs is not here. All of my 2 & 3 yr old Grand Daughters thinks it is cool so they do not rat on me .

oyarde, you seem like a cool dude, man. Really.

[TheTexan]

And why is it I am paying for a US Forest Service anyway ?

Because forests, or more precisely:


Otherwise, anarchy.

[bunklocoempire]

And why is it I am paying for a US Forest Service anyway ?

So assholes can partake of nature without any kind of mutually beneficial relationship with their fellow man.

Think about it. If you're nice enough to people, people will help you experience things you might never get the chance to do otherwise.

If you're a dick about things, your best ticket is an aggressing government because friendly and giving folks will have little to do with you.

[tod evans]

And why is it I am paying for a US Forest Service anyway ?

Don't forget that there's a segment of societies welfare class that wants more from government than a minimalist handout..

These folks aren't capable of leading productive lives in the private sector so they seek "employment" in one of governments various agencies.

In her infinite wisdom the bitch of government bestows your tax dollars on the unproductive in order to get them off the couch...

[John F Kennedy III]

oyarde, you seem like a cool dude, man. Really.

Oyarde is fucking awesome. He's going to be my Press Secretary when I'm elected President in 2024.

[Suzanimal]

The mistake I've seen my nephews/nieces make is burning the marshmellow which is less palatable (for most tastes, IMO)


That's my favorite part! I love burnt marshmellow skin. I catch the marshmellow on fire, blow it out, carefully pull off burnt skin, eat burnt skin, and stick marshmellow back in the fire.


and less healthy.

It's a marshmellow.:rolleyes::p

[FindLiberty]

Are those little yellow tips, on the wire rake (that might melt into or detach and remain crunchy) inside the food, usda/fda approved?

[Origanalist]

That's my favorite part! I love burnt marshmellow skin. I catch the marshmellow on fire, blow it out, carefully pull off burnt skin, eat burnt skin, and stick marshmellow back in the fire.



It's a marshmellow.:rolleyes::p

But in the wrong hands it's a dangerous flaming menace capable of creating complete mayhem!

[euphemia]

Isn't campfire cooking what the government wants us all to do anyway? They are doing everything they can to reduce our standard of living. Taking away indoor cooking is next.

[Natural Citizen]

But in the wrong hands it's a dangerous flaming menace capable of creating complete mayhem!


I was trying to find a way to scribble up a term similar to molotov cocktail except using the word marshmallow. I couldn't figure out a good one. Of course I've got two gallons or so of Yuengling in me from the crab feast so fuggit. Maybe later. Could have been a great pun.

[donnay]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrfcFrhe-CY

:D

[DamianTV]

Dont forget that we "need Govt to protect us by keeping Flaming Marshmallows out of the hands of Terrorizers"! Oh, and the greater threat is the Homegrown Terrorizer, not ISIS, not Al-CIAda, not Muslim extremists. You should be terrified of ISIS, but you should need to change your adult diapers of Girl Scouts and Girl Scout Cookies! Or roasting marsmallows without a Govt Issue License (read: permission) to roast marshallows.

[GunnyFreedom]

Meh, as much as I hate hate hate government overreach, I am guessing (just guessing mind you) that this simply boils down to a government agency with a blog, and some guy couldn't figure what to write in the blog one day so he picked...marshmallows. I'm not trying to excuse it or claim it's a good thing -- it's clearly not -- but I think this is less about trying to tell people how to live their lives, and more about some guy who had to make a blog post and couldn't figure out what to wright.

It's no excuse, of course, the US Forestry Service should not even exist. All I'm saying is I don't think this is actually very nefarious.

[GunnyFreedom]

Mind you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with mocking the lunacy of it. :D I guess all I'm saying is I'm advising people to maintain some perspective. :)

[pcosmar]

Mind you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with mocking the lunacy of it. :D I guess all I'm saying is I'm advising people to maintain some perspective. :)

http://www.xarj.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/perspective-photography25.jpg

[oyarde]

Oh. I see now. You mean they could have just flipped the thing over and laid them on there. Took me a minute, O. :)

I saw a pretty good one made to set over an open fire made from an old industrial dishwasher rack bent into a stool shape . Perfect when you got down to some coals and a little flame .