PDA

View Full Version : Satire: How the U.S. press would cover Ferguson if it happened in another country




Lucille
08-19-2014, 06:36 PM
This is really great. I hope it goes viral.

No, introspection is not its strong point, and neither is the Golden Rule, but hypocrisy sure is.

"Do as we say, not as we do."

http://www.theburningplatform.com/2014/08/19/how-wed-cover-ferguson-if-it-happened-in-another-country/


This is a hysterical satire of what the rest of the world sees when we dictate what should happen in their countries. Introspection is not a strong point of the American Empire.

Via Vox

How would American media cover the news from Ferguson, Missouri, if it were happening in just about any other country? How would the world respond differently? Here, to borrow a great idea from Slate’s Joshua Keating, is a satirical take on the story you might be reading if Ferguson were in, say, Iraq or Pakistan.

FERGUSON — Chinese and Russian officials are warning of a potential humanitarian crisis in the restive American province of Missouri, where ancient communal tensions have boiled over into full-blown violence.

“We must use all means at our disposal to end the violence and restore calm to the region,” Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov said in comments to an emergency United Nations Security Council session on the America crisis.

The crisis began a week ago in Ferguson, a remote Missouri village that has been a hotbed of sectarian tension. State security forces shot and killed an unarmed man, which regional analysts say has angered the local population by surfacing deep-seated sectarian grievances. Regime security forces cracked down brutally on largely peaceful protests, worsening the crisis.

America has been roiled by political instability and protests in recent years, which analysts warn can create fertile ground for extremists.

Missouri, far-removed from the glistening capital city of Washington, is ostensibly ruled by a charismatic but troubled official named Jay Nixon, who has appeared unable to successfully intervene and has resisted efforts at mediation from central government officials. Complicating matters, President Obama is himself a member of the minority sect protesting in Ferguson, which is ruled overwhelmingly by members of America’s majority “white people” sect.

Analysts who study the opaque American political system, in which all provinces are granted semi-autonomous self-rule, warned that Nixon may seize the opportunity to move against weakened municipal rulers in Ferguson. Missouri’s provincial legislature, a traditional “shura council,” is dominated by the opposition faction. Though fears of a military coup remain low, it is still unknown how Nixon’s allies within the capital will respond should the crisis continue.

Now, international leaders say they fear the crisis could spread.

“The only lasting solution is reconciliation among American communities and stronger Missouri security forces,” Chinese President Xi Jinping said in a speech from his vacation home in Hainan. “However, we can and should support moderate forces who can bring stability to America. So we will continue to pursue a broader strategy that empowers Americans to confront this crisis.”

Xi’s comments were widely taken as an indication that China would begin arming moderate factions in Missouri, in the hopes of overpowering rogue regime forces and preventing extremism from taking root. An unknown number of Kurdish peshmerga military “advisers” have traveled to the region to help provide security. Gun sales have been spiking in the US since the crisis began.

Analysts warn the violence could spread toward oil-producing regions such as Oklahoma or even disrupt the flow of American beer supplies, some of the largest in the world, and could provide a fertile breeding ground for extremists. Though al-Qaeda is not known to have yet established a foothold in Missouri, its leaders have previously hinted at assets there.

Though Missouri is infamous abroad for its simmering sectarian tensions and brutal regime crackdowns, foreign visitors here are greeted warmly and with hospitality. A lawless expanse of dogwood trees and beer breweries, Missouri is located in a central United States region that Americans refer to, curiously, as the “MidWest” though it is nearer to the country’s east.

It is known among Americans as the home of Mark Twain, a provincial writer from the country’s small but cherished literary culture, and as the originator of Budweiser, a traditional American alcoholic beverage. Budweiser itself is now owned by a Belgian firm, in a sign of how globalization is transforming even this remote area of the United States. Analysts say some American communities have struggled as globalization has pulled jobs into more developed countries, worsening instability here.

Locals here eat a regional delicacy known as barbecue, made from the rib bones of pigs, and subsist on traditional crafts such as agriculture and aerospace engineering. The regional center of commerce is known locally as Saint Louis, named for a 13th century French king, a legacy of Missouri’s history as a remote and violent corner of the French Empire.

Though Ferguson’s streets remained quiet on Friday, a palpable sense of tension and uncertainty hung in the air. A Chinese Embassy official here declined to comment but urged all parties to exhibit restraint and respect for the rule of law. In Moscow, Kremlin planners were said to be preparing for a possible military intervention should political instability spread to the nearby oil-producing region of Texas.

Related, and not satire: Human Rights Watch USA – Amnesty International Deploys In America
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-08-18/human-rights-watch-usa-%E2%80%93-amnesty-international-deploys-america

otherone
08-19-2014, 06:49 PM
Analysts who study the opaque American political system, in which all provinces are granted semi-autonomous self-rule

...and there it is.

presence
08-19-2014, 07:53 PM
Pick up the phone, call your friend, read aloud.

lol

Origanalist
08-19-2014, 08:02 PM
This is so good. It sounds EXACTLY like our media.

Brian4Liberty
08-19-2014, 08:06 PM
I was hoping for a Lindsey Graham or John McCain appearance in the article...

Spikender
08-20-2014, 01:42 AM
Wow, that is awesome.

I'm going to be sharing this now.

Mani
08-20-2014, 01:50 AM
That was awesome. +Rep, I'm all out for Lucille.

acptulsa
08-20-2014, 04:00 AM
Nicely done. But nothing is new under the sun...


'I see we're sending the Marines to China.

'Good heavens. How would we like it if the Chinese sent their Marines up the Mississippi, saying they have to look after their laundries in Memphis?'--Will Rogers


Exerpt of the dream he said he had while under the ether:

"Well, the train was right on us when the Chinese started shelling the town and saying, 'We are Missionaries come to America, and you will have to worship Buddha and go to the Mission schools and learn Chinese.' Then the Nicaraguans started dropping aeroplane bombs on us. We had nothing to do but let them drop. They said they wanted to protect the United States as they wanted to put a canal through here some time."

Lucille
08-20-2014, 02:16 PM
How the international press is covering it:

International Critics Turn Tables and Wag Finger at US Over Ferguson Crisis
http://www.ronpaulforums.com/showthread.php?458218-International-Critics-Turn-Tables-and-Wag-Finger-at-US-Over-Ferguson-Crisis

enhanced_deficit
08-20-2014, 02:29 PM
Though Missouri is infamous abroad for its simmering sectarian tensions and brutal regime crackdowns, foreign visitors here are greeted warmly and with hospitality. A lawless expanse of dogwood trees and beer breweries, Missouri is located in a central United States region that Americans refer to, curiously, as the “MidWest” though it is nearer to the country’s east.


BM.
UK Daily Mirror's reporter probably didn't feel such warm hospitality.



Armed Missouri police train rifles on Mirror reporter - and then he is tear- ... Christopher Bucktin


But good satire otherwise.

mosquitobite
08-20-2014, 03:21 PM
FYI, you can change the title if you share on facebook. Help people make the click ;)