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Anti Federalist
12-26-2013, 12:12 PM
When Ducks Cry

by Jim Goad

December 23, 2013

http://takimag.com/article/when_ducks_cry_jim_goad/print#ixzz2obcJsBiq

As Americans huddle by their fireplaces and space heaters this week to either celebrate or avoid the Christmas holiday, the nation’s hottest cultural controversy hinges on whether anuses are more desirable than vaginas.

This latest bloody clash in the national Kulturkampf pits dick-hunters versus duck-hunters. It revolves around all manner of contentious cultural axes: red state versus blue state, rural versus urban, gun-toting carnivores versus gun-grabbing vegans, and Christian fundamentalists versus egalitarian true believers.

(snip)

What happened to the art of simple, cordial disagreement? Maybe I have a head injury, but I seem to recall a time somewhere in the 1970s and 1980s where people didn’t freak the fuck out and scream for blood over simple ideological disagreements. This was a blissfully quiescent era right after Red Scare paranoia had peaked and just before PC totalitarianism began its ever-strengthening chokehold on the culture.

Though many of the duck-hating dick-lovers would likely claim they’re atheists, what we have here is a basic sandbox dispute between competing religions—traditional Christianity versus Cultural Marxism. Religions are, by their very nature, intolerant of one another.

But at least for the Christmas season, can you all call a truce? You can continue to call each other bigots and sinners—it all pretty much means the same thing, depending on which of the two religions you choose. But can’t you all share some eggnog and have a good laugh about the fact that homosexual behavior has been observed among ducks in the animal kingdom, and whether or not that’s sinful, it’s at least funny?

Gosh, I sure hope so. I dream of a day when hearts and anuses start healing all across America.

My fellow Americans, why do we scream at each other? This is what it sounds like when ducks cry.

brushfire
12-26-2013, 12:25 PM
http://i53.tinypic.com/11w3swh.jpg

Anti Federalist
12-26-2013, 12:27 PM
http://i53.tinypic.com/11w3swh.jpg

I LOL'ed

Brian4Liberty
12-26-2013, 09:40 PM
"This was a blissfully quiescent era right after Red Scare paranoia had peaked"

Move along. Nothing to see here. Only when the Marxist movement was stifled was there peace, common sense, and lack of hysteria.

AngryCanadian
12-26-2013, 10:48 PM
Free Publicity wins again. :rolleyes: