Liberty community, please critique this video I just made.

[Sayzak]

I just went ahead and finished it up. Final version.

What do you think?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQhL_eZu_fs


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQhL_eZu_fs




I can not change the theme of the video, but I will add more facts, or take some out (or change any that turn out to be erroneous) if you think it is necessary. I'm not going to make it longer, or shorter, but I can rearrange the clips, remove some, or add some in order to make the message more clear or more powerful. As the 'title says, this video is incomplete -- I want your feed back to make it as good as it can possibly be.

Thank you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMz79XXSo5A


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMz79XXSo5A

[RonZeplin]

Lose the race pimpin divisive quotes. Everyone's getting the shaft, not just blacks.

[Sayzak]

Lose the race pimpin divisive quotes. Everyone's getting the shaft, not just blacks.

You don't think it's worth pointing out how skewed the current system is for minorities? I think I'm pretty clear in the video that everyone is getting the shaft.

[donnay]

Excellent. I wouldn't change a thing. +Rep Looking forward to the finished product!

[Sayzak]

Excellent. I wouldn't change a thing. +Rep Looking forward to the finished product!

Thank you! But I'm not satisfied. Something is missing. :)

[Natural Citizen]

Thank you! But I'm not satisfied. Something is missing. :)

You have a talented way of soliciting specific, and prescribed emotion. This is a valuable talent. It's all about the frequency. The beginning I think should be removed but it's your work.

Two different subjects, really. Maybe find a relevant point to use as a transition if you want to place two references into a single mechanism.

Good job though. And I never comment on these things when people ask.

[donnay]

You don't think it's worth pointing out how skewed the current system is for minorities? I think I'm pretty clear in the video that everyone is getting the shaft.


Maybe put in some Ron Paul speeches? What if... is a good one.

Re: What If by Ron Paul
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4s_IUwwGq-A

[Sayzak]

You have a talented way of soliciting specific, and prescribed emotion. This is a valuable talent. It's all about the frequency. The beginning I think should be removed but it's your work.

Two different subjects, really. Maybe find a relevant point to use as a transition if you want to place two references into a single mechanism.

Good job though. And I never comment on these things when people ask.

I must admit, something feels off about the beginning to me as well. I really want to find a way to squeeze Stanhopes rant in there, though. Do you think a better visual sequence would suffice, or is Stanhope's bit the thing that doesn't seem to fit?

Thank you for the response!

[Sayzak]

Maybe put in some Ron Paul speeches? What if... is a good one.

Re: What If by Ron Paul
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4s_IUwwGq-A

I had Ron Paul's quote, "Freedom has only been around for a couple hundred years and we had a taste of it and we're throwing it away" but he was talking so quickly in that quote I took it out to keep the pace of the video consistent. Which item(s) form the What If speech should I include? I'm working within the 3:51 time frame so in order to accommodate part(s) of his speech I might have to remove other clips. Any suggestions? :)

Thanks. :)

[donnay]

I had Ron Paul's quote, "Freedom has only been around for a couple hundred years and we had a taste of it and we're throwing it away" but he was talking so quickly in that quote I took it out to keep the pace of the video consistent. Which item(s) form the What If speech should I include? I'm working within the 3:51 time frame so in order to accommodate part(s) of his speech I might have to remove other clips. Any suggestions? :)

Thanks. :)

Maybe take some of the Mohamed Ali and shorten it a bit, and look at the transcript below and pick a couple of things, Dr. Paul says, you think, drives the points home, better.


Here is the transcript:


Ron Paul: “Madam Speaker, I have a few questions for my colleagues.

What if our foreign policy of the past century is deeply flawed and has not served our national security interest?

What if we wake up one day and realize that the terrorist threat is the predictable consequence of our meddling in the affairs of others, and has nothing to do with us being free and prosperous?

What if propping up repressive regimes in the Middle East endangers both the United States and Israel?

What if occupying countries like Iraq and Afghanistan and bombing Pakistan is directly related to the hatred directed toward us?

What if someday it dawns on us that losing over 5,000 American military personnel in the Middle East since 9/11 is not a fair tradeoff with the loss of nearly 3,000 American citizens no matter how many Iraqi, Pakistanian, Afghan people are killed or displaced?

What if we finally decide that torture, even if called “enhanced interrogation technique”, is self-destructive and produces no useful information and that contracting it out to a third world nation is just as evil?

What if it is finally realized that war and military spending is always destructive to the economy?

What if all war-time spending is paid for through the deceitful and evil process of inflating and borrowing?

What if we finally see that war-time conditions always undermine personal liberty?

What if Conservatives who preach small government wake up and realize that our interventionist foreign policy provides the greatest incentive to expand the government?

What if Conservatives understood once again that their only logical position is to reject military intervention and managing an empire throughout the world?

What if the American people woke up and understood that the official reasons for going to war are almost always based on lies and promoted by war propaganda in order to serve special interests?

What if we as a nation came to realize that the quest for empire eventually destroys all great nations?

What if Obama has no intention of leaving Iraq?

What if a military draft is being planned for the wars that would spread if our foreign policy is not changed?

What if the American people learned the truth, that our foreign policy has nothing to do with national security, that it never changes from one administration to the next?

What if war in preparation for war is a racket serving the special interests?

What if President Obama is completely wrong about Afghanistan and it turns out worse than Iraq and Vietnam put together?

What if Christianity actually teaches peace and not preventive wars of aggression?

What if diplomacy is found to be superior to bombs and bribes in protecting America?

What happens if my concerns are completely unfounded?

Nothing.

But what happens if my concerns are justified and ignored?

Nothing good.

[Natural Citizen]

I must admit, something feels off about the beginning to me as well. I really want to find a way to squeeze Stanhopes rant in there, though. Do you think a better visual sequence would suffice, or is Stanhope's bit the thing that doesn't seem to fit?

Thank you for the response!

It's actually both the visual and the comments. The comments, although not irrelevant are just a different kind of energy than the rest of the video.

But that's OK. Can't very well expect to succeed in a perfect presentation. Success (as we perceive it to be) only happens when we accept that we have to fail a few times along the way. If that makes sense.

That alone would lead me to just name it and leave it. Then we ask ourselves what we can do better next time.

I'm going to send you something though. Something to maybe help you to find the correct frequency (Which is very important to understand and make useful...although you're very close here with this one) while squeezing in the important thing that you want to relay to your preferred demograph. Browse through them. You'll see what I mean. Frequency is a lot of things, btw. Not just a wave. It's a way of thinking...

[Sayzak]

This is great input. I'm taking everything into consideration and working on another version to see how it feels.

Please keep the suggestions coming!!

[fr33]

You don't think it's worth pointing out how skewed the current system is for minorities? I think I'm pretty clear in the video that everyone is getting the shaft.

Yeah but still I'd cut out that Young Turks woman saying that there are more imprisoned blacks today than there were slaves in 1850 because the easy rebuttal is there are more non-slave blacks than there was back in 1850. There are more of a lot of things than there were in 1850.

Great video though.

[Feeding the Abscess]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71ZB1clmDoI

Starting at about the 1:05 mark. That's got to be in it, if you want a Ron Paul snippet.

[Sayzak]

Yeah but still I'd cut out that Young Turks woman saying that there are more imprisoned blacks today than there were slaves in 1850 because the easy rebuttal is there are more non-slave blacks than there was back in 1850. There are more of a lot of things than there were in 1850.

Great video though.

Good point, I hadn't thought of that. I guess it really does come down to population for some of these factoids I'm putting in the video. I really thought that was a pretty significant stat, too. :P

[Feeding the Abscess]

Good point, I hadn't thought of that. I guess it really does come down to population for some of these factoids I'm putting in the video. I really thought that was a pretty significant stat, too. :P


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8S8N2OG7sU

Starting at the :42 or so mark, Ron drops some awesome stats on the war on drugs. If you wanted to replace the slavery remarks with a Ron Paul quote, that'd work fantastically.

[RonZeplin]

cut out that Young Turks woman saying that there are more imprisoned blacks today than there were slaves in 1850

This ^^^^^

[ClydeCoulter]

Good work.
Ending the video with a remark from Ron Paul about his optimism for the future of liberty, might end on an inspiring note. See Ron Paul interview with Ben Swann, recently on the forum here.

[luctor-et-emergo]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=46LdvYWKJlk

[2:55 .. 3:20]

One of the best moments capturing Ron's empathy and passion on the war issue.
It was in many video's during the campaign, I think it deserves a spot.

[XTreat]

I like it, but like everyone else here I would like to see some Ron Paul.

I think we might all be biased though.

[donnay]

I like it, but like everyone else here I would like to see some Ron Paul.

I think we might all be biased though.

:D I know I am.

[Sayzak]

I like it, but like everyone else here I would like to see some Ron Paul.

I think we might all be biased though.

I'm working on it. :D

[Henry Rogue]

That is good. It should be posted to the front page when finished.

[3volRebel]

Very Cool

[Sayzak]

Later today I will upload version 2 of the video. I've compacted it a bit, removed the beginning, and changed the ending. I've also added some Ron Paul in there (audio only). Once I've uploaded it I'd like some more honest critiques, and I will take the best from each video and make a final version.

I left the young turks in there, because I feel like it kind of drives that particular point home and without it, it just kind of fails to have as much of an impact. But a good argument for removing it could sway me.

[Natural Citizen]

Later today I will upload version 2 of the video. I've compacted it a bit, removed the beginning, and changed the ending. I've also added some Ron Paul in there (audio only). Once I've uploaded it I'd like some more honest critiques, and I will take the best from each video and make a final version.

I left the young turks in there, because I feel like it kind of drives that particular point home and without it, it just kind of fails to have as much of an impact. But a good argument for removing it could sway me.

//

[Sayzak]

I just went ahead and finished it up. Final version.

What do you think?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQhL_eZu_fs


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQhL_eZu_fs

[Natural Citizen]

Pretty good work. Only confusion came when trying to read the text and listen to what was being said at some points. It was one or the other since the text was overlayed on the visual instead of fading into it. Either had to disregard the dialogue and read the text or read the text and disregard the dialogue. Maybe should have inserted the eagle flying during those parts where the text was instead of over top of the vocals. Other than that, it's a very good video. Very, very good work. Last half was excellent frequency. I think you can achieve complete frequency if you were to take my advice on the text and re-insert the eagle in flight while the text is displayed. The text took away concentration on some key parts. Especially during Ron's stuff.

People's opinions are a pain in the ass, huh? After all of that hard work. Bunch of nit pickers, we are.

What are you going to do with it? Try to rekindle some of that energy that Ron brewed up during that last ride?

[ClydeCoulter]

Did you delete the original? I was going to re-watch it to compare.