Lucille
10-05-2013, 02:35 PM
The Dog Ate It: US Treasury Reimburses Man For $500 His Dog Ate
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2013-10-05/dog-ate-it-us-treasury-reimburses-man-500-his-dog-ate
Here's a new and very bizarre entry for the annals of "the dog ate it" excuses. According to Reuters, Montana man Wayne Klinkel, who last year pieced together the remnants of five $100 bills eaten by his one-eyed golden retriever, Sundance, is sporting a $500 check he says he received this week from the U.S. Department of the Treasury to replace the digested funds. Sundance sniffed the wad of bills out of a car cubby space while waiting for Klinkel and his wife to return from lunch, and the canine made the currency his lunch.
[...]
So what did Klinkel do upon discovering the Benjamins had become fast food: he literally pieced together the evidence.
[...]
Obviously, the Fed was not interested in the fecal byproduct. After all, Ben Bernanke is far more adept at creating USD-based, one-ply toilet paper, not so much the target object of said toilet paper. The Treasury on the other hand...
[...]
Luckily, Klinkel's remarkable persistence at sorting through all sorts of monetary shit ultimately paid off.
[...]
As of this writing the Treasury's check was not eaten by the dog.
Surely at this point one can appreciate the light bulbs going above Bernanke, and Yellen's, head. Because it is not secret that the biggest failure with QE for the past 5 years has been getting the trillions in freshly injected currency into the hands of consumers, and bypassing the banks who merely use it to generate more asset price bubbles, thus generating the Fed's desired inflation. All it would take is for the Treasury to "loosen" both the threshold of Multilated Currency permissive applications, and the bowels of imaginary dogs. Because there is nothing that would stimulate the velocity of money more than if the treasury were to send crisp $100 bills to all who complain their "dog ate the money" - with or without fecal proof.
And since such canine currency consumption can persist indefinitely not subject to any reserve requirements, it would flip traditional fractional-reserve banking if not on its head, than certainly on its back, as imaginary omnivorous dogs become the primary facilitators of monetary transmission mechanisms across the economy.
The inflationary possibilities are virtually endless.
As for the tragicomic ending of this tale, "an operator with the U.S. Department of Treasury on Thursday said department representatives were furloughed and unavailable for comment on Klinkel’s reimbursement."
http://bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com/helenair.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/0/68/068e406a-2ade-11e3-9d68-0019bb2963f4/524b3a7b3ded4.preview-100.jpg http://bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com/helenair.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/0/08/008b4d8e-2ade-11e3-9ee3-0019bb2963f4/524b3a7130b89.preview-100.jpg
See more digested FRNs here: http://helenair.com/news/local/us-treasury-reimburses-helenan-after-pet-s-expensive-snack/article_717856e4-2b2a-11e3-9029-0019bb2963f4.html
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2013-10-05/dog-ate-it-us-treasury-reimburses-man-500-his-dog-ate
Here's a new and very bizarre entry for the annals of "the dog ate it" excuses. According to Reuters, Montana man Wayne Klinkel, who last year pieced together the remnants of five $100 bills eaten by his one-eyed golden retriever, Sundance, is sporting a $500 check he says he received this week from the U.S. Department of the Treasury to replace the digested funds. Sundance sniffed the wad of bills out of a car cubby space while waiting for Klinkel and his wife to return from lunch, and the canine made the currency his lunch.
[...]
So what did Klinkel do upon discovering the Benjamins had become fast food: he literally pieced together the evidence.
[...]
Obviously, the Fed was not interested in the fecal byproduct. After all, Ben Bernanke is far more adept at creating USD-based, one-ply toilet paper, not so much the target object of said toilet paper. The Treasury on the other hand...
[...]
Luckily, Klinkel's remarkable persistence at sorting through all sorts of monetary shit ultimately paid off.
[...]
As of this writing the Treasury's check was not eaten by the dog.
Surely at this point one can appreciate the light bulbs going above Bernanke, and Yellen's, head. Because it is not secret that the biggest failure with QE for the past 5 years has been getting the trillions in freshly injected currency into the hands of consumers, and bypassing the banks who merely use it to generate more asset price bubbles, thus generating the Fed's desired inflation. All it would take is for the Treasury to "loosen" both the threshold of Multilated Currency permissive applications, and the bowels of imaginary dogs. Because there is nothing that would stimulate the velocity of money more than if the treasury were to send crisp $100 bills to all who complain their "dog ate the money" - with or without fecal proof.
And since such canine currency consumption can persist indefinitely not subject to any reserve requirements, it would flip traditional fractional-reserve banking if not on its head, than certainly on its back, as imaginary omnivorous dogs become the primary facilitators of monetary transmission mechanisms across the economy.
The inflationary possibilities are virtually endless.
As for the tragicomic ending of this tale, "an operator with the U.S. Department of Treasury on Thursday said department representatives were furloughed and unavailable for comment on Klinkel’s reimbursement."
http://bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com/helenair.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/0/68/068e406a-2ade-11e3-9d68-0019bb2963f4/524b3a7b3ded4.preview-100.jpg http://bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com/helenair.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/0/08/008b4d8e-2ade-11e3-9ee3-0019bb2963f4/524b3a7130b89.preview-100.jpg
See more digested FRNs here: http://helenair.com/news/local/us-treasury-reimburses-helenan-after-pet-s-expensive-snack/article_717856e4-2b2a-11e3-9029-0019bb2963f4.html