shane77m
08-08-2013, 05:48 PM
A sad yet funny article.
Not long ago, five LAPD officers came to my apartment in the middle of the night, pinned me to the ground, and handcuffed me, sort of by accident. Before they left, I forgot to get a card or a phone number from them, so instead I'm writing this open letter and hoping they read it.
Dear Officers of the Los Angeles Police Department,
Hello there! I don't know if you remember me or not, we met briefly the other night in my home for that spontaneous assembly at 2:15 a.m. I was the guy you hilariously accused of domestic abuse in front of his slack-jawed neighbors. Classic. I just wanted to say that it was a pleasure to meet the whole gang and to assure you again that I would have at least swept the floor had I known you were coming over, and especially had I known you would be jamming my face into it with your knee.
............................................
If you're anything like me (and I bet you are, because I sensed your dedication to justice and honor), you're probably just as disappointed with what happened that night. You've been racking your brain thinking of ways we could start over, too. Well, allow me to take the first step toward setting things right. I hereby gift to you a list of gifts you could give to me. I'm not mad at you, but it sure would be nice if you made up for tackling and handcuffing me erroneously by:
-Giving me a mulligan on a traffic ticket of my choosing. Maybe you could issue me a card or something that I could redeem the next time I'm pulled over.
-Letting me do a ride-along (where I get to hit the siren at least once).
-Allowing me to pick one item of my choosing from the evidence locker.
-Giving me a snug-fitting tear-away but otherwise official LAPD uniform. I can't tell you why, I just need it.
I think it's time we stop saying "sorry" so much and start saying "you're welcome," don't you? I only ask that you make the effort, too. I've done my part and now I promise, if you knock on the metaphorical door of friendship, I will answer. You know where I live.
Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-apologies-to-cops-who-beat-me-up-no-reason/#ixzz2bQNjv65i
Not long ago, five LAPD officers came to my apartment in the middle of the night, pinned me to the ground, and handcuffed me, sort of by accident. Before they left, I forgot to get a card or a phone number from them, so instead I'm writing this open letter and hoping they read it.
Dear Officers of the Los Angeles Police Department,
Hello there! I don't know if you remember me or not, we met briefly the other night in my home for that spontaneous assembly at 2:15 a.m. I was the guy you hilariously accused of domestic abuse in front of his slack-jawed neighbors. Classic. I just wanted to say that it was a pleasure to meet the whole gang and to assure you again that I would have at least swept the floor had I known you were coming over, and especially had I known you would be jamming my face into it with your knee.
............................................
If you're anything like me (and I bet you are, because I sensed your dedication to justice and honor), you're probably just as disappointed with what happened that night. You've been racking your brain thinking of ways we could start over, too. Well, allow me to take the first step toward setting things right. I hereby gift to you a list of gifts you could give to me. I'm not mad at you, but it sure would be nice if you made up for tackling and handcuffing me erroneously by:
-Giving me a mulligan on a traffic ticket of my choosing. Maybe you could issue me a card or something that I could redeem the next time I'm pulled over.
-Letting me do a ride-along (where I get to hit the siren at least once).
-Allowing me to pick one item of my choosing from the evidence locker.
-Giving me a snug-fitting tear-away but otherwise official LAPD uniform. I can't tell you why, I just need it.
I think it's time we stop saying "sorry" so much and start saying "you're welcome," don't you? I only ask that you make the effort, too. I've done my part and now I promise, if you knock on the metaphorical door of friendship, I will answer. You know where I live.
Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-apologies-to-cops-who-beat-me-up-no-reason/#ixzz2bQNjv65i