Reprimanded for Farts - amazing story

[cbrons]

Formal Reprimand Issued To Flatulent Federal Worker (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/coworkers-attacked-by-gas-645132)

"DECEMBER 21--A federal employee was formally reprimanded this month for excessive workplace flatulence, a sanction that was delivered to him in a five-page letter that actually included a log of representative dates and times when he was recorded “releasing the awful and unpleasant odor” in his Baltimore office.

In a December 10 letter accusing him of “conduct unbecoming a federal officer,” the Social Security Administration employee was informed that his “uncontrollable flatulence” had created an “intolerable” and “hostile” environment for coworkers, several of whom have lodged complaints with supervisors."

Quick - how can we get a setup on some politicians on capital hill? Walk in to their office, let one go, then have a bunch of people file lawsuits against them. Perfect!!!! (this suggestion is just a joke, for the .gov spies on these forums).

[Dr.3D]

I guess they would have the poor guy blow up like a balloon.

[FrancisMarion]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svooK-EkPLo

[kathy88]

I'm on my phone. Reps to the first who posts the Blazing Saddles baked beans scene.

[tod evans]

This only cements my beliefs that federal employees are a bunch of whiny useless sponges.

Might as well suck some ass along with that federal tit....

[Dr.3D]

I'm on my phone. Reps to the first who posts the Blazing Saddles baked beans scene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6dm9rN6oTs

[phill4paul]

I see this employee getting a physicians notice describing his condition and that will be the end of this 'workplace hostility' against flatulence.

[Czolgosz]

Dupe

[Czolgosz]

In Jr. High I was referred to the deans office after ripping an especially loud fart, while seated on the wood basketball court with the entire class. The gym was on the smaller side, the noise reverberated, and a large amount of kids near moved, immediately.

After 41 years on this Earth I still laugh at good farts at inappropriate times.

[mad cow]

A compromise might be to require him to light them with a match,thereby negating the odor somewhat and providing endless hours of entertainment to his office mates.

[heavenlyboy34]

OMG, if only we could enforce such a rule on congress, SCOTUS, and POTUS...so much hot air and general bullshit comes out of those places you can smell it from miles around! :D ;)

[Dr.3D]

Double post.

[Dr.3D]

That poor chap just needed this....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=QwzcP2NZDKQ
http://www.flat-d.com/

[heavenlyboy34]

In Jr. High I was referred to the deans office after ripping an especially loud fart, while seated on the wood basketball court with the entire class. The gym was on the smaller side, the noise reverberated, and a large amount of kids near moved, immediately.

After 41 years on this Earth I still laugh at good farts at inappropriate times.
I once farted really loudly during an exam in 6th grade (the place was completely silent at that time). Nothing happened to me, though. Got lots of lolz. :D

[Dr.3D]

I once farted really loudly during an exam in 6th grade (the place was completely silent at that time). Nothing happened to me, though. Got lots of lolz. :D
Yeah, we had study hall in the library and it had those big hard wooden chairs. One time I tried to sneak one out and that chair amplified it.

[Czolgosz]

Hahaha

[Danke]

My lawyers say I have a strong case.

[VIDEODROME]

Is this what made Hillary pass out and get a concussion?

[Carson]

Whoa. Now that record would make for a nice office wall plaque.

Reminds me of a time we were out looking for a party. We were cruising a long lonely stretch of road on the way when someone in the back seat said, "Could you roll the widows up? It's cold back here". A few second later we were over powered by something and my eyes were tearing shut. I whipped it off of the road and everyone bailed out of the car and we ended up about fifteen feet from the car standing around looking at each other wondering what happened.

Then we spotted Johnny still setting in the back seat laughing his ass off.

I have no idea what he could have been eating.

[KCIndy]

Coming next: Government mandated fart filters. Need help with insertion? Call the TSA.

[Schifference]

Need to mandate proper approved diets intended to reduce flatulence in the workforce.

[Carson]

Need to mandate proper approved diets intended to reduce flatulence in the workforce.


There is a lot of this crazy talk like this in the fark thread on this topic.

I don't get much fun out of life but I sure don't want to mess with one of the fundamental pleasures in life.




Federal worker receives formal reprimand letter for his "uncontrollable flatulence." With letter detailing the gas attacks, accompanied by photo of the man standing next to Pepe Le Pew

Comments; http://www.fark.com/comments/7499259/Federal-worker-receives-formal-reprimand-letter-for-his-uncontrollable-flatulence-With-letter-detailing-gas-attacks-accompanied-by-photo-of-man-standing-next-to-Pepe-Le-Pew



Found another fart thread looking for the thread above.


This kid, who may very well be the Elvis of hand-farting, is pretty much the reason the internet was invented

Video;

http://www.uproxx.com/music/2012/12/stop-whatever-youre-doing-and-watch-this-kid-hand-fart-the-cave-by-mumford-and-sons/

Fark comments;

http://www.fark.com/comments/7490670/This-kid-who-may-very-well-be-Elvis-of-hand-farting-is-pretty-much-reason-internet-was-invented


This thread has been crop-dusted! (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=crop%20dusting)

[heavenlyboy34]

There is a lot of this crazy talk like this in the fark thread on this topic.

I don't get much fun out of life but I sure don't want to mess with one of the fundamental pleasures in life.




Federal worker receives formal reprimand letter for his "uncontrollable flatulence." With letter detailing the gas attacks, accompanied by photo of the man standing next to Pepe Le Pew

Comments; http://www.fark.com/comments/7499259/Federal-worker-receives-formal-reprimand-letter-for-his-uncontrollable-flatulence-With-letter-detailing-gas-attacks-accompanied-by-photo-of-man-standing-next-to-Pepe-Le-Pew



Found another fart thread looking for the thread above.


This kid, who may very well be the Elvis of hand-farting, is pretty much the reason the internet was invented

Video;

http://www.uproxx.com/music/2012/12/stop-whatever-youre-doing-and-watch-this-kid-hand-fart-the-cave-by-mumford-and-sons/

Fark comments;

http://www.fark.com/comments/7490670/This-kid-who-may-very-well-be-Elvis-of-hand-farting-is-pretty-much-reason-internet-was-invented


This thread has been crop-dusted! (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=crop dusting)
LOL :D Did you know a person who plays hand fart music is called a "maualist"? Search youtube for "manualist", and you'll find all sorts of tunes played handfart style. :D

[Carson]

LOL :D Did you know a person who plays hand fart music is called a "maualist"? Search youtube for "manualist", and you'll find all sorts of tunes played handfart style. :D

Never heard of it before but that kid really needs a cutaway and a top hat. At least if he is ever going to be taken seriously.


P.S. Just looked. I'm not so depressed anymore. There is still hope for the world.

manualist plays bohemian rhapsody on jimmy kimmel live!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwqjFmlYdNg

If we could just get him and the drunk guy together.

THE MOST AWESOME DRUNK VIDEO ON THE PLANET

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqymcJRSbxI

[Feelgood]

http://www.gambino.com/beans/beans.htm

[torchbearer]

that must have been some raunchy shit.

[Danke]

http://www.gambino.com/beans/beans.htm

That was childish.

[SpreadOfLiberty]

A lot of people in this thread would enjoy these videos: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL798B2D8ADA64C05A

[Aeroneous]

I got in a heated argument with a coworker over something like this a few months back. I have IBD and withholding flatulence can get rather painful (and sometimes impossible). One day this dude walks into my office right as I let out a decently loud one and he just went off. He claimed it was offensive, I said I had a documented medical condition that caused it. He was ready to use the chain of command, and I encouraged him to try. Some people just get offended by the stupidest crap. This guy was still a dick about it after learning that I had a medical condition that caused it.

I hope this "offender" in this story files a lawsuit for harrassment and wins.

[Feelgood]

A lot of people in this thread would enjoy these videos: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL798B2D8ADA64C05A

That pooter working with some liquid ass would be just awesome! Tons of fun in an elevator. :-)

http://www.liquidass.com

[tod evans]

I got in a heated argument with a coworker over something like this a few months back. I have IBD and withholding flatulence can get rather painful (and sometimes impossible). One day this dude walks into my office right as I let out a decently loud one and he just went off. He claimed it was offensive, I said I had a documented medical condition that caused it. He was ready to use the chain of command, and I encouraged him to try. Some people just get offended by the stupidest crap. This guy was still a dick about it after learning that I had a medical condition that caused it.

I hope this "offender" in this story files a lawsuit for harrassment and wins.

Folks like your "co-worker" need to shuck the suit-n-tie and go work at a chicken house or feed lot for a couple of years....Be a good lesson.

[truelies]

The cretin should have been flat out fired.

[opal]

Federal worker receives formal reprimand letter for his "uncontrollable flatulence.

there's such a thing as controlled flatulence?


http://www.danielpeart.net/pictures/Cartoons/Shitty%20Ideas.jpg


wait.. government wants farts held in...

[MelissaWV]

Once upon a time, people at least attempted to settle things between one another, and supervisors were not mediators.

I have a co-worker with a medical condition that makes her cough all the damned time. Loudly. Constantly. She is two "squares" down from me. I'm an insensitive ass, right? I have a fan that I keep on, even when it's cold, to help me not have to hear it... but I still do. The major reason it bugs me, though, is it prevents me from being able to do part of my job.

When I call insurance companies, I am inevitably fed through the "your call is important to us" hell of phone trees, most of which are voice-activated. Do you know how much it sucks to be on a call for 10 minutes, then she has a coughing fit, and suddenly I'm at "you have been redirected to neonatal ICU... please hold for our next representative." I have to hang up, and start again. And again. And again.

Rather than attempt to get her fired, and knowing it's just never going to stop, I approached her department and mine about an idea. We are getting quotes now to divide the room in half with an existing partition, and remove the dividers in each department altogether. This would reduce the amount of noise I would have to put up with, and it would actually resolve several problems in their department. Instead of making it entirely awkward, I came up with a solution, and we're implementing it within the next month or two.

If someone has IBS, the first thing to do would have been to put them in an advantageous position in the office. A corner? Near the bathroom? Out of earshot of most clients (depends on your job, I know)? Maybe they could have a fan or other white noise machine to deaden some of the really explosive-sounding ones? Perhaps sitting on a cushion, which would feel really nice at a desk job anyway, would diffuse some of the noise AND potential smell, so long as the person washed the thing from time to time? Maybe a wax warmer or similar non-flame air freshener if the gas is particularly... erm... yeah. There are solutions to this, and as the person in question knows they have a medical problem and is probably all too aware of what is coming out of their own butt, they are likely to accept any inoffensive solutions to a mutual issue in the office.