Wanted your opinion on a RPF/Ron Paul inspired song

[Steve-in-NY]

I originally dropped a thread in offtopic about this (http://www.ronpaulforums.com/showthread.php?381380-Would-like-your-opinion-on-a-Ron-Paul-%28and-RPF%29-inspired-song...-%28rock%29) but I was really hoping to get some opinions so it was suggested I post it in here.

Long story short:
A while ago I wrote a song for a band I play in called "Thousands More" inspired by RPF.
Ive heard several pro-liberty songs and they are all rather soft (that I've heard so far) and while thats fine, none really got me excited, so I decided to take a more hard rock path with it. It was finally recorded (live) at a show in March.

Please take a moment and let me know your honest opinion of it. I would seriously appreciate it.

Its currently available (stream) here:
http://warped.battleofthebands.com/u/OfficialVerde
(Song name = Thousands more)

Lyrics:
To those vultures that resolve to take your life away
You'd better watch what they do because its not what they say
Sporting new suits and ties to help deliver their lies
But they've got no brains and no vertebrae
With their hands in your pockets from cradle to grave
They're robbing the futures of all they enslave
They're mocking our rights, right in the home of the brave
The pressures building up into a giant shock wave

Ignoring moral and logical
Proven economical
Agendas of things to be done
But if united we stand
No longer under command
Though the battle has not yet begun
We just won

Assaults on our freedoms, a barrage on our rights
They're out-manned and they know it
They do not want this fight
They must think that we believe that we don't have a choice
Every one that they silence thousands more raise their voice
Thousands More!

In this oppression of hope
Data designed to confuse
History is our witness
We cannot lose
Its our time, this is our time
Its now!

Thanks, I appreciate your honest feedback!

[drummergirl]

Awesome drums :D

[Henry Rogue]

I listened to it, but I’m not the one to get constructive criticism from. I can’t sing, I can’t stand to hear myself sing. Also the music is not from my era, but don’t give up or get discouraged. Some may not realize it, but music is an important part of this movement. Music speaks to people, it tells them a story, sometimes over and over again. Sometimes that’s what it takes to change some peoples mind. You will touch people with your music I’m sure of it.

[talkingpointes]

Nice, reminds me of a Zack De La Rocha. (who I can't stand politically or his music) But this sounds good, damn good.

[Steve-in-NY]

Awesome drums :D
LOL thanks! (Thats Sean on the drums - I'll tell him!)


I listened to it, but I’m not the one to get constructive criticism from. I can’t sing, I can’t stand to hear myself sing. Also the music is not from my era, but don’t give up or get discouraged. Some may not realize it, but music is an important part of this movement. Music speaks to people, it tells them a story, sometimes over and over again. Sometimes that’s what it takes to change some peoples mind. You will touch people with your music I’m sure of it.
Constructive critisism from someone like you is fine with me. Just an honest opinion. Also, I cant sing either, didnt you listen? ;) Anyway thanks so much, thats some nice stuff you said there and I appreciate it.


Nice, reminds me of a Zack De La Rocha. (who I can't stand politically or his music) But this sounds good, damn good.RATM was an early influence for us, but imagine a (constitutional) conservative version (turns out I was apparently a libertarian way before I knew what a libertarian was) - along with the RHCP, faith no more, lenny kravitz and neil young. Weird mix I know. Im really glad you liked it!

Thanks for listening, those that did. Anyone who liked it enough to want a copy, just PM me.

I have to admit, I got a way better reception than I thought I would. Im still OK with brutal honestly though.

[Mr. Perfidy]

I feel like it is missing an underlying bass sound? Otherwise good though- I am as surprised that it was good as you are to have read good reviews lol. I was expecting it to be corny. Would you record my lyrics if you promised to credit the perfidious? lol I kinda want a bunch of different people all over in different genres calling themselves Perfidy to do a song. That'd be godlike shit invocation- way metal.

[ClydeCoulter]

I feel like it is missing an underlying bass sound? Otherwise good though- I am as surprised that it was good as you are to have read good reviews lol. I was expecting it to be corny. Would you record my lyrics if you promised to credit the perfidious? lol I kinda want a bunch of different people all over in different genres calling themselves Perfidy to do a song. That'd be godlike shit invocation- way metal.

I agree with the need to underlying heavy bass.
Also, since you want critique, if your voice harmonized with the lead guitar when it kicks in during the singing just for a bit, it would add some depth.
Great song though.

[Mr. Perfidy]

I think also, if the song is called Thousands More, you need to layer it with the voices/chants of crowds, and, have group singalongs for the drinking revelers in the audience. When there are many voices in a good song, when you listen, you feel absorbed. It is not dissimilar to cumming, except it is your consciousness climaxing as it totally sheds the ego snares.

[Steve-in-NY]

Thanks again for the insight -Yes I completely agree about the bass, but please remember this was a live show recording - not a studio cut - so we were kind of at the mercy of the sound guy.

I love the crowd chant/layer idea idea. Im on it.

I will try to harmonize with the lead guitar until say... "With their hands in your pockets". What do you think?

Mr. Perfidy - Sure thing, send them my way and we'll see what we come up with. I cannot guarantee a quality recording though... just a decent one. If thats acceptable, then let me know.

Thanks again everyone!

PS - Seriously? No one hates/dislikes it? My confidence is HUGE right now :)

[ClydeCoulter]

@Steve-in-NY,
Just keep punching through it, you've got promising stuff going on, keep at it.

[Steve-in-NY]

Just wanted to tell you guys all your comments really got me confident and motivated as to not fear promoting the heck out of that warped tour contest we entered. Since this post my band has moved up drastically - about 30,000 spots in the last 6 days. We are currently where we need to be and momentum is continuing.
Thanks again for taking the time to check it out and voice your opinions. It really helped. :)