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View Full Version : UK-Meanwhile, in England, some schools start banning children from having "best friends"




Anti Federalist
03-20-2012, 11:10 PM
The establishment says it's so they don't get hurt by the inevitable break ups.

I say it's one more exercise in purging the last vestiges of individuality out of people.



TEACHERS are banning schoolkids from having best pals — so they don't get upset by fall-outs.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4203460/Schools-ban-children-making-best-friends.html

Instead, the primary pupils are being encouraged to play in large groups.

Educational psychologist Gaynor Sbuttoni said the policy has been used at schools in Kingston, South West London, and Surrey.

She added: "I have noticed that teachers tell children they shouldn't have a best friend and that everyone should play together.

"They are doing it because they want to save the child the pain of splitting up from their best friend. But it is natural for some children to want a best friend. If they break up, they have to feel the pain because they're learning to deal with it."

Russell Hobby, of the National Association of Head Teachers, confirmed some schools were adopting best-friend bans.

He said: "I don't think it is widespread but it is clearly happening. It seems bizarre.

"I don't see how you can stop people from forming close friendships. We make and lose friends throughout our lives." The Campaign for Real Education, which wants more parental choice in state education, said the "ridiculous" policy was robbing children of their childhood.

Spokesman Chris McGovern added: "Children take things very seriously and if you tell them they can't have a best friend it can be seriously damaging to them. They need to learn about relationships."

oyarde
03-20-2012, 11:36 PM
i I AGREE , it is the UK , NOT a real problem , have the little ones just call each other Comrade .

kezt777
03-20-2012, 11:41 PM
omg. what's next?? In my work with children and umpteen pysch courses and blah blah, there is often talk of the importance of a child to have at least one very close friend that they can share things with. sure it hurts to have friendships bust up - Im sure we have all been through that - but I also think being basically forced to be friends with everyone can lead to even more fights and upset. Not everyone is programmed to get along. You don't even have to be a mean bully, you just simply dont get along with every human you meet and it's ridiculous to keep encouraging that as kids get older. I work with preschoolers and we try to get them to 'all be friends' but are also aware that some clash no matter what you do, so we keep an eye out for that and can redirect or separate kids that simply do not like each other lol. We certainly dont expect them to hold hands and sign happy songs together all day. good lord I dont even know what to say about that..... so if they find two girls walking along together talking and laughing and having fun, they send them back to the big group??

Lishy
03-21-2012, 12:13 AM
Where does it say they're "banning" best friends?

Anti Federalist
03-21-2012, 12:18 AM
Where does it say they're "banning" best friends?

Right in the UK Sun's headline:

Schools ban children making best friends

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4203460/Schools-ban-children-making-best-friends.html

I'm assuming there is an "official policy" that prohibits "best friends" and that the activity is discouraged.

Lishy
03-21-2012, 12:27 AM
It says it in the headline, but isn't the article twisting it? I don't see how they can enforce this whatsoever. I mean, what, they're gonna give someone detention, and copy lines from a dictionary, because they call someone their best friend?

Anti Federalist
03-21-2012, 12:37 AM
It says it in the headline, but isn't the article twisting it? I don't see how they can enforce this whatsoever. I mean, what, they're gonna give someone detention, and copy lines from a dictionary, because they call someone their best friend?

No, I imagine what they'll do is send them to the school "psychiatric evaluator" who will prescribe some mood altering psychotropic drugs to flush that anti social behavior out of them.

Honestly, I don't know what they'll do, but I have to assume that schools are little more than prisons in the UK just like here, so it's not outside the realm of possibility that they would monitor for and punish and "best friend" activity.

rockerrockstar
03-21-2012, 01:06 AM
This is crazy. Now I can see them encourage playing in groups because then maybe they will make more friends rather than be out casts or loners. Finding best friends is natural. Why are they trying to keep these kids from making friends is beyond me. Schools should not be social experiments.

"They are doing it because they want to save the child the pain of splitting up from their best friend. But it is natural for some children to want a best friend. If they break up, they have to feel the pain because they're learning to deal with it."

These schools don't know what they are talking about. Forcing people to not have a Best Friend is one of the worst things I can think of socially. Making friends is what makes life more interesting and fun. They should be teaching these kids how to make friends versus encouraging not making friends.